#and also they have their own lives 💀

[dreamsb0u]

A lil offer before the melatonin kicks in

I like talking to people online

#ok but fr if you wanna talk to me about self inserts fucking GO FOR IT #I LOVE when people talk to me!!!!! #As long as I also get to talk about my shit as well #idc if it’s in dms or comments /np /nf #I love my besties but I think I overwhelm them with information sometimes #and also they have their own lives 💀 #like me fr #anyways I like sans #trade offer #shitpost #ughhfh I’m so tired my brain is not working #also if you wanna talk about aus whether you created them or not I’m down #Just keep it respectful bro

[oatbugs]

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me! #LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️ #but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

[bunnihearted]

🐰🌧️

#so on my way home.. #i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future #i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were #bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected #a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati #that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful #and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old #live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :) #you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :) #you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!! #you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u! #whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️ #god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE #i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things #now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao #there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives #by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it. #or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me #only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die #bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything #for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!! #not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right #i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax #but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭 #my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became #bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life

[queen0fm0nsterz]

Reading my fave thin man and lady fic. Kicking my feet a lot because tbh. Sometimes a sad man really is just a weird woman's science project in a way that is so homoerotic

#carols.txt #when i tell you i've been re-reading this single one shot religiously every single month for almost three years I mean it #《straight》 ship so good we call it queerbaiting #LMAOOOOOO #call it yaoyuri the way these old people r tragic and doomed by the narrative or whatever #listen as a bi person on the aroace spectrum whatever this fic was trying to convey really strikes a cord #while its not the same as my own this characterization of them is so intriguing. im so hooked on it #^^ one thing i think this person really nailed was thin man's immaturity (stemming from his emotions oftentime being too big to control) -> #and the desire of attention that comes with said immaturity while also having the lady be both cold (normal) and intrigued in a way that -> #that really fits her character. curiosity is one of the many facets that make up her character that don't get explored much and i think its #done so well here for like no reason💀 THIS AUTHOR COOKED TOO HARD YOU GUYS #like ofc she wouldnt send him away. shes studying him under a microscope. even though hes annoying as hell #thin man is plagued by sassy man syndrome in this which is really fucking funny cus it lasts a total of 3 seconds before she finds him out #PLUS THE TALK ABOUT THE TOWER AND THE WORLD... AUGHHH #i need this author to give me their brain NOW #AUGHHHHHAAGGGHEEHH #everyone needs to start doing thinlady the way this person was doing it #this is the biblically accurate old people (in case my theory abt baby lady having been in the pale city is wrong) #live laugh love. its my birthday. spoiling myself a bit. goddamn.

[autisticlancemcclain]

Jackie, you haven't published a fic since the 4th. Are you ok?

i am so sorry everyone 💀💀 idk how many of y’all were here when i was originally writing eighteen (crazy), but what essentially happened was that i didn’t get a full fic finished on lance’s bday, so i tried to update every day to get it finished as quickly as possible while still being good, and i wouldn’t let myself post anything else or think about anything else really, and at one point i was getting dms and asks from friends and moots that were like Hey Bitch What The Fuck Are You Doing To Yourself and i was like yeah wait hold on wtf am i doing?? so i took a break from the fic and the stress went away pretty much immediately.

now. since i don’t learn from my mistakes, i did the exact same thing basically with the time loop fic, only this time i pushed myself farther AND i feel bad as hell because i said i would finish it for once 😭😭 unfortunately that fic compacted with the fact that it is march and i struggle in march freaked me out so bad that felt like i was going to explode so i ditched tumblr for a bit. i needed to Take A Breather so i dipped.

anyways i’m sorry for freaking you guys out, i def should have posted something. that’s on me. i promise i’m fine and i’m sorry to say that i will be pausing the time loop fic for a bit. but on the bright side, i’m gonna have a different fic for tonight!! i waited to come back until i came up w something bc i didn’t want to come back empty handed :))

#no one asked but like also it’s been a Time 💀 #finals are coming and my roommates broke the lease so i have to move out and i hate moving and also i can’t accept the job i was offered bc #i’m moving so that’s stressing me out and idk if i’m going to get a job this summer and not only do i need a job but also i’ll be going home #this summer and my parents are not cool with unemployment so i don’t have an option lol and also my mom has been trying to get me to switch #my degree from an honours ba to a regular ba bc it will be cheaper and shave off a year and it makes sense but i don’t want to do that and #idk how the hell to say that and unfortunately since i’ve been living on my own this semester my anxiety is at an all time high and #generally just like ninety things hit me at once lol. so i had to drop writint for a bit #but i’m back!! so all is well #personal #ask

[unagrancantidaddepanes]

guys how do i stop using english in my life, nothing against english i just think its best we go our separate ways yknow 😔😔

#IM VERY SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT THIS AHKJASJASHKJ #i mean i live in england so i kinda HAVE to use it when i talk to people #but on my own in my silly little room ??????? #not an english word in sight tbh #LIKE WHAT MORE CAN I DOOO #I COULD TRY TO STOP THINKING IN ENGLISH BUT ALREADY THINK IN SPANISH AND FRENCH A LOT OF THE TIME ????????????? #LIKE WHAT MORE COULD I DO #I MIGHT JUST NEVER POST IN ENGLISH AGAIN LMAO /HJ #i already do but im gonna try and watch youtube videos in spanish (and maybe french) even more its like all ive got left i could do AHKJASJH #IVE ALREADY BEEN WATCHING ALL TV SHOWS IN SPANISH FOR YEARS SO ITS LIKE #IM REALLY RUNNING OUT OF OPTIONS HERE ASHKASJHKJ #tbh i think i HAVE to make an exception for fanfiction because most fanfic is in english and i cannot live without ao3 LMAO #ANYWAYS IF U GUYS HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS LET ME KNOW LMAO 💀 #ALSO IM GONNA TRY GETTING NEW SPANISH AND FRENCH BOOKS IM SO YIPPEEEE !!!!!!!!!! :D #my posts

[avataroftheglowcloud]

HI GUYS, MY LOVE FOR WTNV IS STRONG AS EVER AND I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A HEADCANON.

So my good friend @ultimate-dumb-ass has this theory that the longer somebody stays in Night Vale, the more non-human looking they’re likely to become.

And to add onto that theory, I like to think that the reason nobody realises that Cecil and Kevin are doubles — (because like, we all agree that they are, right?) — is because they both look so different to their “default” appearance. Cecil lives in Night Vale, and Kevin was physically changed when Strex took over the radio station (as mentioned in Triptych).

Cecil doesn’t look in mirrors and canonically doesn’t even know what he looks like, and Kevin obviously isn’t mentally all there due to Strex’s brainwashing. He doesn’t seem to remember his old self properly — he literally refers to his past hatred for a corrupt organisation in the most offhand manner ever (as shown in the screenshot below).

So who’s to say he remembers his physical appearance in detail too? The changes Strex made are what seem to be the clearest in his mind, after all. Neither of them are likely to recognise the few, probably almost unnoticeable features they share as their own.

side note - jesus, the tags were supposed to just be a side headcanon but it turned into something with the potential to be a post of its own 😭

#ALSO only semi-related but I think the reason Dana doesn’t know if she’s her or her double is #doubles naturally die at the same time #unless somebody kills their double #and if that happens then they become jumbled. not remembering which one they are #because they are now both themself and their double rolled into one person #kind of like a very stable steven universe fusion 😭 #but they don’t realise that this is what’s happened #but if doubles are as different as Cecil and Kevin #then they know who they are simply because of those differences #so if Cecil were to kill Kevin he would logically know that he is Cecil #but only because his living body is Cecil and the dead one is Kevin #and because they have both had such differing unique life experiences that Cecil would be able to vaguely decipher Kevin’s from his own #wish I’d put as much effort into my gcses as I did for this fucking tumblr headcanon post 💀 #tag time #welcome to night vale #wtnv #cecil gershwin palmer #kevin wtnv #night vale #desert bluffs #wtnv headcanon #wtnv doubles #patto the space phrog #kill your double

[princekirijo]

Writing Shadow Ops lore is pretty fun actually

#by which i mean lore i just made up lmao #i have been reading the wiki + watching arena cutscenes to try get as much lore as i can #but there's only so much out there u know #plus its fun to imagine how the organization has evolved since arena #obvs this is for captain so the organization is at least 20+ years old? #but yeah. #i won't lie its pretty damn basic because im kinda just messing around at the moment #but still pretty fun #its also for a post captain story that kinda uhm popped into my head recently #set a few years after captain #tbh i dont know if i'll ever like talk about it because it is so self indulgent and its one of those it started as a joke but now its not #and so obvs inspired by a series that i am kinda fixated on atm that im a litte embarrassed 💀 #but eh its all for my own amusement anyway so live laugh love besties am i right #<- im sorry i am unironically obsessed with saying live laugh love its just so funny to me #anyways i do wish we got more on the shadow ops in game and like what kinda things they do but ig ill just run with what i have

[no1ryomafan]

The curse of being so knowledgeable on older animes is going to suck irl for as long as I live where I am-which is probably permanent rip-because man I wish it was possible from a education stand point for people to learn about the history of it. How anime has become such a phenomenon and one of the greatest works from across the global that has so much history to it that people in the west hardly know about unless they dig for it themselves. It’s something that deserves to have classes taught about it, deserves to have people learn and watch the all time classics that MADE anime-

but the issue with that is “even if anime popular it’s not apart hugely apart of our culture when it comes to how it was made and you can’t really show off most older works because they are long as fuck in a school that no student could reasonably stay on top of it” so this is never happening ever.

#meg text #brought to you by “I’m once again sad to be living in a normie society” #nothing even happened my anime club hasn’t started yet + I’m no longer attending frequently for reasons #but I think about how it doesn’t matter the anime discussion I’m apart of I just know more then the average #and I don’t ego stroke it’s more so “have to restrain from INFO DUMPING USELESS INFORMATION” #Also putting aside the glaring realism even if I did something like- only assigning important eps or picking shorter iterations #no one would be teaching this class besides me and I’d be a awful fucking teacher 💀 #I give props to the tisms who want to be teachers but for me? Nowhere near cut out for it #I would be awful with grading assignments how I word stuff and might get snippy with kids #(I tolerate kids but if a student of mine were to say something dumb I would be blunt 😭) #I really should just make my own blog site or something man #if this fixation continues any longer (it likely will)

[theflyingfeeling]

still sick but alive, unfortunately 🤧

#last morning when i got up i wasn't at all sure i'd live to see the release of deadzone lol #since then i've been able to walk and stand up somewhat normally without wanting to cry and/or die #last night i slept more than the two previous nights combined. which still isn't that much but at least i did sleep #i did also wake up so completely drenched in my own sweat (from mild fever going down after i had taken a painkiller for a headache)- #-that i had to get up and dry myself with a towel 😂 #and there was a huge wet spot (of sweat) on my bed where i had lied 🙂 #i have lost three fourths of my vocal range so i can't e.g. laugh #(not that i've had a whole lot to giggle about these past few days 💀) #i'm bummed out i can't do preparations for my new job #i definitely should've started earlier but i would've had plenty of time this week had i not caught the cold at the stupid festival 🤧 #i did not plan this! besides i'm not gonna start working weeks ahead for a job i'm not even getting paid for yet #for the same reason no one can expect me to work while sick for a job i haven't gotten a single penny from #hell even if i WAS paid no one could expecte me to work while sick #so i shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to work on my fic instead of the course plans #which btw i already sort of have because my predecessors gave me practically ALL the material i might need #so all i reallly need to do is change the dates of the course plans and bob's your uncle #but i'd like to also study the material a bit before teaching it so that i'll at least seem like i know what i'm talking about 💀 #mom said on the phone that i've managed situations like this before so i will manage this too and she's right i guess but 😭😭😭 #but yeah i guess this is some sort of developement from last year when i had the 'rona- #-and felt awful about ordering food/groceries in because ''i don't want to be a bother'' 😂

[milo-is-rambling]

My brother got a three month work from home internship at the company my mom works for now it’s gonna be like the house is a fucking office building from 9-5 😭😭😭

#meanwhile I’m still unemployed and losing my mind 💀👍 #ITS FINE but also AGHHHH RIPPING MY HAIR OUT I FEEL SO BEHIND I KNOW MY BROTHERS THREE YEARS OLDER BUT I DONT HAVE MY SHIT TOGETHER AT ALLLL #and that means they’re (my mom and brother) gonna be able to talk about work stuff and people they both know and I’m gonna be completely #clueless and out of the loop bc I’m not a fucking programmer GOD I WISH MY DAD WAS ALIVE #he was a programmer too but like fuck he understood the failure feelings I get he would be able to talk to me about it but he had to go and #fucking die so now I’m just here with my mom and brother feeling so seperate but so stuck in it at the same time #ughhhhh #I wish I didn’t live with my mom I wish I could get my shit together enough to move out on my own and trust myself to stay alive and safe

[hatake]

.

#our dryer stopped working today and my mom blew up and threw a whole tantrum #and she wasn't yelling at me like it was my fault but like #so much of my life has been coddling her feelings bc she'll make everything miserable if she's upset #that her being upset just makes me upset #and now my night is ruined i really have so much animosity towards he for 500 reasons #i really wish my mental illnesses were less debilitating and i could live on my own i'm so exhausted ugh #and also ofc that piece of shit dryer had to break when my clothes need to be dried 💀 #this second half of this year has just been one thing after another i am so past my limit i hate everything tonight #ugh

[tony-andonuts]

Kinda super fycking evil that I have to figure out whether or not state insurance is better than work insurance, and fucking *then* whethwr or not i should try and get a car, and fuckibg *then* figure out if i can pay my bills with all of that going on

#bc theres no god damn way i can live on my own and have insurance *and* a car #on my pay??? #andlikealso #as an ambulatory cane user #having a car would better my physical health #but also that shits so expensive like what??? #and i havent even *started* drivers ed 💀 #idk way too many factors to take note of #tony speaks #this post is rat proof

[chaotictomtom]

hehe hoho feeling absolute rage!!!!!!!!!

#i thought mothers in laws being the worst human possible was a myth. guess what #GOING BALLISTIC 👍 #i don't give a shit abt her being all lovey dovey and shit but straight up homophobic and transphobic in my back. #even if after months and months living (hell) with her she never misgendered me nor say anything abt her son being with a man #kinda impressive to be that respectful for this amount of time then in reality being the biggest bigot on earth #like damn. she do be commited to the bit huh (making ppl she's not bothered by my existence) (when in reality she kinda wants me dead) #but like. ALL THE OTHER THINGS..... #IM USED TO THE HATE CRIMED BUT HAVE TRULY LESS TOLERANCE ABT THE TURMOIL BF IS GOING THROUGH BC OF HER LOL #thank fuck so many good ppl who also know who horrible she is are supporting bf with me #the more i learn abt her the more!!!!!! im loosing my temper lmao help im never angry what am I supposed to do with all this #IT'S NOT ONLY SHIT SHE DOES TO HER OWN SON SHE'S TERRIBLE WITH OTHER PPL 💀💀💀💀 #i want so badly to warn that company abt the abuse she did to one of the worker going there but i caaaan't #and god knows it reminds me of my groomer and how there's a risk she could do that to other ppl if no one does anything 💀 #I mean abt my groomer it is a certainty as he did abuse another wee lad after me and started with another lass and. idk what he's up to now #and it does not help with sleeping at night. but anyway hoping that she won't pull out shit like that with the other workers #she drove everybody working at that company away for having the reputation of being absolutely horrible anyway lmao 💀💀💀💀 #sorry for renting no one gives a shit but im simply!!!! loosing it ++++++ #need to find a way to channel this anger now lol help!!!!!!!! what do now #tomtom_is_rambling #tomtom_is_venting

[t-t-p-d]

idk but sometimes i just sit around and realise life isn't that bad after all

#i've been studying this whole week like mad #and seeing all my other friends study too (more than me) #it just feel like the world is so small #but the world is so much bigger #life isn't all about grades and shit #like it's fucking cliche but it's true #and especially in my own bubble i keep getting pressured about my grades #but i just feel that there's so much to be grateful for #i was studying in a different part of my house today (like not in my room) #and i'm just looking at our family pictures and how homely this place is and i'm already so lucky you know? #life is way too fucking short to be focusing on “oh what's the next step” or “oh what am i going to do in uni and internships and career” #“how do i keep climbing up the ladder” #but then i forget to admire the view along the way #i obviously have to acknowledge that i'm at a position of privilege as i say all these #and also i hope i don't regret saying these after getting back my grades 💀 #also i was rereading some sally rooney quotes from bwway i had saved and she was speaking some facts man #like that long quote about living and being with other people #wait i'll post it later #but yea! #these are my thoughts of the day #and i shall get back to studying #text

[starlooove]

I can’t stand when ppl plan walkouts or strikes on a whim and then use ppl not doing them as an excuse to either say walkouts don’t work or ppl don’t practice what they preach 😭😭😭 like these things take YEARS of planning and rely on community first and foremost; if you don’t have finances or shelter or even basic emotional support in place for those you want to participate you need to take it back to the drawing board bc u don’t even got step one ready 💀

And to be clear this is no hate to anyone participating; hate to ppl mad about ppl who aren’t tho

#bc why are ppl saying they’re gonna strike September first of this year #and it’s a bunch of ppl in them comments going ‘if u don’t join us ur basically against us’ #like no the ability to say that you can drop everything and protest NEXT MONTH is a privilege that the majority of ppl ur protesting for- #-cannot afford. #and listen I love strikes I’m very much of the idea everyone should quit everything today #but I’m also like. living in reality. #And the truth of the matter is that not everyone has the privilege to align themselves with their politics in such a drastic way #and the first thing you have to do when getting the gears of revolution in motion is to make sure ur community is TAKEN CARE OF #what’s the quote about the ppl making the bread? ykwim #I don’t need to hear what u think abt ppl not joining if ur not offering up ur own food and house to them #OH AND this is the problem with basing ur strike off the success of another without seeing the work involved #it reminds me of everyon idolizing the mothers strike without seeing the decades of planning and community aid that went with it #so when they tried the same and it flopped instead of ‘we were disorganized’ they got ‘strikes don’t work’ #yall piss me off omg 💀 #not everything is stonewall #that was on a whim and it WORKED #but there were also decades of PLANNED protests that contributed to where we are now #or we should be now considering recent fucking events #this entire thing where y’all think revolution will happen in a split second needs to go #the mindset that someone will let out a battle cry and rally everyone needs to go NOW #you need to be meticulous and careful when it comes to this shit #there are changes you could begin setting in motion that you might not even see the results of in ur lifetime #and that sucks to grapple with but it’s what you need to accept in order to move forward in a way that’s helpful #like fuck man #and it’d be one thing if it were teenagers yknow? like if it were mainly kids and teens who just fully realized how fucked up the world is #and they wanted to do something NOW and fumbled a bit #that’s one thing #but when it’s like. grown ass adults with platforms spreading these ideas and mindsets? #that’s a problem to me #YOU need to do better so THEY can do better