#and i feel like i didnt spend my 2 week holiday like i wish i had

[megismorallysunny]

17/09/23

its been quite a while, i told myself in july i would talk about the barbie movie, but well that didnt end up happening. i felt awkward writing and i feel awkward now, school started 3/4 weeks ago and its been going pretty ok, ill talk more about that. so first things first the barbie movie was spectacular, i loved it so much, it was so amazing no words, speechless. i dont know if i mentioned this but i went on holiday again, i went to mallorca in june for a week and alicante in spain for 2 weeks. i grew sick of my brother after that, i hope someday we can be friends but i just cannot stand him. my mom said that i will regret not being friends with him when im older just like she did, but i just cant stand being around him. my mom may regret not being friends with my uncle then but atleast there friends now (not for long unfortunately, hes sick). Spain was pretty boring, yes i know im a lil spoilt but we went to spain cuz its cheap (cheaper than staying down the road). i started playing a lot of total drama then stopped after the start of school. Im glad that im actually able to focus on my school work better because i genuinely cannot focus, i really struggled last year cuz i did it in silence and always put it off. now i started watching qsmp along with doing my homework cuz now i feel better doing my homework, my brain just works better when its hearing something and my brain is doing something else at the same time doing my hw. i think its due to when i was younger there was never silence around me when doing my hw, there was always talking always a programme, always something. im doing higher level english, im scared about doing shit in it like every other higher subject im in. but i think im doing good in english, or atleast mediocre, my teacher said that some of my work wasnt the best, which fair nuff it isnt. but i wrote something and it was kinda cringe but my teacher said it was good, and it wasnt cringe as in furry abo type shit i wrote it was more me saying "chillingly good use of onomatopeia" omg i just felt so stupid reading it out, i figured out why it feels so invasive reading it out and its because it feels like reading a diary and your specifically asked to read out ur feelings and opinions about it, unless i say something hateful about it i dont feel comfortable saying it. im doing bad in higher maths i just cannot understand somethings but i dont want to spend more time on it so i might i might not, im scared that i just wont understand it and theres people dumber than me in there, and it feels like i shit also cuz im dumb, i struggle with comprehending things, and i just go on my phone all the time, because i just get so bored, i wish that i would be able to learn things at my own pace (fast but slow at things i dont understand) and i just wish i could learn what i wanted to, i know i can learn maths i just struggle and i dont know why. did i mention im stupid? did i? because your bound to think so now, last year in higher irish i got 23% on my summer exam, and this year i got a note from my parents to move to lower, and i went to give it to him and he gave such a good speech i said okay yeah sure, like how dumb am i?? all my friends looked aound at me and were like "that was your one chance" "why didnt you leave" it was a little demotivating but if theres one thing i can do its spite people, from an early age ive discovered people insulting me is the best power for my success, its better if it feels like they mean it. e.g i couldnt hit a ball in pe with a bat, someone tried to take it off me (multiple ppl) and they said cmon you cant do it, that was really a good motivator because as soon as they reached for it i hit the ball super high. anyways im now learning irish and im struggling really. but duolingos helping, alot. were back to talking to our french penpals and i wrote the most complicated english because i got excited she said i was a nice girl, shes so sweet i love her. i wrote way too much so im gonna go now, have a good morning, day or night.

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Only Time Makes It Human 3

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: hi and sorry for the long wait, I had to squish my brain real hard to get this chapter out, but I hope you like it, I decided a chapter about growth wasn't enough and y'all gave me an idea for angst so I just splashed it there and we'll delve into it more on the next chapter. 10/10 the idea works well enough for me to bring Levi and reader together even more. So don't call me out on being random. This is raw, un fucking edited, I'll edit later 💗

Pairing: Levi/ Reader

Tags: modern au, college au

Warnings: mentions of blood

Special kudos if you figure out why I used this gif ;)

The problem with your feet being numb in the morning when you woke up wasn't supposed to phase you as much as it currently did, but the weathering cold that had barged its way to your room silently begged to have you feel something other than the everlasting whirlpool of regret.

Which was -unsurpisingly- something you had been spiraling into a lot lately.

Your ringtone -or rather the caller that had caused it to go off- nontheless remained mercilessly unforgiving to your current condition. The brute vibrations that accompanied your once favorite song ripped through the air and bounced on every wall inside your room before it wooshed inside your eardrums.

You fucking finally had to change that ringtone, you thought.

Your feet, moist and heavy as they buzzed with the aftermath of the coma-like sleep you had just gone through, struggled to wiggle from underneath the comfort of your blankets. Your hands instinctively rubbed the underside of your nose as you sniffled all the cold of the room around you. Throwing the blanket off of you, you groaned at the non stop ringing of your phone.

The few steps to your desk felt like an eternity of having to walk with a badgy weight on your feet, but the faint feeling in your body didnt come to an halt even after you picked the device in your hands. Your eyes couldn’t really adjust well to make out the ID of the caller, of course, sleep hadn't rubbed off your eye lids yet, but still you slid the emerald button to acceptance with no resistance.

“Hey” you sleepingly moaned.

“Hellooo! (Y/n)!” Hange called enthusiastically for the other line, her joyous voice piercing your eardrums “Where are you booo?”

“I just woke up why?” you yanwed.

Pacing your eyes around your room you noticed the dull daylight creeping in through your blinds, signaling the gloom of another potentially snowy day for Trost. You blinked as you took notice of the few articles of soon to reside in the laundry bin clothing as well as the dress that hung from your closet door.

And then, it all snapped.

“Oh. shit!”

Anxiety rushed through you like a bullet to the gut, gushing numbness and waves of cold sweat from the point of impact. Forcefully, you ripped your phone off your ear and double tapped at screen to make it light up. The date read December 25, and below it, laid numerous notifications of your alarm and even a pop up reminder from last night to not forget the food you had to take with you.

Thinking back to that, your head started spinning like crazy, the familiar, yet bizarre feeling of your stomach dropping overtaking you. You hadn't cooked, rather, you had spent all night drinking and sulking on your own, cursing yourself for all your choices up to date.

"Yes, oh shit!” Hnge laughed “Oh! You forgot?”

"Hangeeee stop screaming oh my god no I didn't forget, I'm on my way okay?"

A little yelp came out of your mouth as the cable of your charger prevented you from taking another step closer to your bedroom door; letting out a curse under your breath though you quickly unplugged your phone, and rushed over the mess of your room and out to your living room.

"But you said you just woke up."

"Ahhh," you scratched your head, feeling your loose t-shirt sliding down your shoulder "no!" You said, then in a sterner voice you repeated "No! I uhm, I was just-"

Your poor excuse to communicate after having just woken up didn't startled Hange. If anything, she seemed to find it amusing because she burst into joyous, bubbling laughter at the sound of your despair. And you couldn't blame her for it; were you under any other circumstance you would be laughing with yourself as well.

"It's fine. Erwin and I are making a cake for shorty so if you want to cook here you have plenty of time yet. I'm going to say it though, we could really use your pastry skill."

You let out a sigh as you took your phone off your ear and pressed on the speaker icon. Your hands worked fast to grip onto the hem of your shirt and then, even faster, they managed to pull it off of you in shift movements.

"I'm just going to have a shower, dress up and I'll be on my way. It shouldn't take more than 30 minutes."

Hange exhaled in utter relief through the phone and you could practically feel her sheepish smile as Erwin shouted a big fat 'thank you' from the depths of his kitchen. Bringing out a hand to grap your shower cap -the only shower product you loathed using- you ripped the cap off its place on your cabinet and messily shoved all of your hair in it in rushed movements.

"Got any questions before I hit the shower Hange?"

"Please ask her" Erwin was heard and you cocked your head to the side at the sound.

"No Erwiin, we got it under control okay?"

"No we don't."

Shaking your head to prevent yourself from zoning out, you clicked your tongue before opening your mouth to address your two friends. Asking as to what they were referring to was easy, although it was obvious that Hange felt confident in succeeding in the task Erwin was referring to. Knowing Hange though, you thought you could guess perhaps what exactly was going on.

"Please don't mix food coloring with spinach juice to make the cake green like two years ago."

Erwin's laughter was pretty much evident through the other line as Hange went on blubbering about how she wasn't going to do it again giving extreme emphasis as to why she couldn't understand the reason it tasted bad in the first place but would go with what you said nevertheless. At that point Erwin was laughing hysterically, telling you how Hange was once again, indeed, thinking about it and the sound of his laughter grew even louder than Hange's words.

"Do you have food coloring?"

"Yes Hange I have food coloring."

"Plea-pleaee bring some. Dammit Erwin what's gotten into you- gotta go (y/n) see you in a while."

The beeping sound from the other line left you little to no time to properly reply to your friends with a much wanted greeting, though, you didn't think much of it. You were going to spend the whole day with them, so getting upset over not getting the chance to say goodbye over the phone wasn't something that should have caused guilt to spurt in you.

But surely, this wasn't the only cause of your overly bubbling guilt. The actual cause of the knot in your gut laid to the fact that within the time span of two weeks you had managed to to drag Levi and yourself into a rather steep rabbit hole. There was going to be a serious impact of your relationship with your friends had the two of you made it known to them; everyone would scold you -and they'd be right at that- and maybe this time they'd pick sides as to what wrong or not. And you didn't want that.

Although you secretly wished everyone went with Levi. Or at least you had come to the conclusion that that was what you deserved.

You had been feeling bothered and repulsed by what had caused you to make out with him that night, given the fact that you had been the one that initiated the kiss. And just as much, you had been feeling furious over Levi allowing this to ever happen. But looking back at it now, you couldn't say you regretted getting close to him even in such way. And that was probably the most infuriating thing of all.

Nevertheless, there was also the fact that you would be seeing Levi today and frankly you didn't know what to do with that. Should you act like everything was fine? Should you simply ignore him? Was Petra going to be with him?

Speaking of Petra it would be best if you straight up let her know of what had happened. Acting shady with another woman's man behind her back was outrageous for anyone to do and you hated being in that position like the next person.

Your stomach twisted dangerously at your spiraling thoughts, but you chose to ignore the tight knot, attributing the loud growl you had heard to one caused by your excessive hunger.

Perhaps, your shower was going to help you sort out your thoughts and intentions.

With a twist of your wrist the water started sprinting out of the tap in your shower. Your eyes were fixated on your phone, your thumb roaming through Spotify in hopes to find the perfect song to company your bath with. You simply said good for a Christmas playlist that Spotify suggested, tapping on that, a list of numerous jolly songs popped up in your screen and you simply pressed the big shuffle button before putting your head on your cabinet.

..

The walk to Erwin's house was very much and as previously expected, quiet. The sidewalks on your way were all covered in sugary white snow, decorating each different apartment complex in the non urban side of Trost along with the standard holiday decorations.

Taking a deep sigh you brought the back of your finger to the metallic button of Erwin's doorbell. Blinking rationally, you looked around at the marble front door frame of his apartment complex, your blood subtly rushing to your feet. You dragged the tip of your combat boot over the snow, curling your toes on the fuzzy material that covered the inside of the shoe.

You were beginning to become impatient as you waited on the doorframe, Erwin was taking way too long to open the door and you were practically freezing out there; the dress you wore did almost nothing to keep you warm. Despite you taking precautions by wearing a cardigan and the leather coat that you had snatched from your brother, the cold still pierced through your sheer black pantyhose, as if your efforts to stay warm were ridiculous.

The sound of footsteps was what startled you next but still your head didn't turn to the source of the buzzing noise. Your nose simply nuzzled to the scarf you had wrapped around yourself as you rubbed your face onto its warm fleece material.

"Uh, hi."

This time you could help but turn around to check who had thrown a greeting at you.

A familiar puff of ginger hair greeted you as you snuck your nose out of the edge of your scarf, two big and round hazel eyes stared right at you as you blinked rapidly back at them.

Great. Just great.

"Hey."

Petra wiggled her nostrils once to the left and then to the right, seemingly scratching the awkwardness in the atmosphere away. She blinked her eyes a few times into yours, her lips pursing together slightly as if she was coming up with a good comeback to your greeting, yet it never came.

"uhm, what's up?"

Your fingers slightly clutched the edges of your coat, crossing over your chest as you felt your jaw start clattering. Your pupils gathered at the corners of your eyes, catching small glimpses of Petra as you eyed her up and down.

She too had opted for a cardigan and a dress. A very safe choice if you were in a place to express your opinion but hers, despite being adorned with numerous tiny and dainty coral and red flowers, looked so thin and tule like and it barely covered her thighs, so much that you felt a pinch of concern run through you that you were slow to decide on whether you wanted to brush off or not.

"I'm.. good." She managed to let out, but you noticed how her lip trembled.

She was definitely shivering, if that wasn't concerning enough you didn't know what was, and she looked so frail and out of place that she could definitely beat you at it. Plus, the lack of a warm jacket struck somewhat of a nerve at you. Even feeling so much guilt over being in her presence you couldn't help but feel your motherly friend instincts wash over you; why wasn't she wearing something warmer? And why were you seconds away from taking off your jacket to offer it to her when you knew she wouldn't even accept it.

"Damn, Erwin's sure taking long, do you want my jacket?"

"Uh-"

Once again and mostly out of instinct, your finger tapped over the metallic button, covered by the edge of your sleeve. Suddenly, the familiar buzz of the intercom growled in your eardrum and you shook your head to its direction automatically.

"I'm so sorry!" Erwin said. "Come in!"

"Hey Erwin!" Petra spoke before you had a chance to say your wanted reply.

Even if you couldn't see him, you knew how shocked of an expression he was wearing.

Taking the few steps into the apartment complex's yard, you rushed to the next door and waited for the known buzz which signaled that Erwin had finally let you inside. With awkwardness spread over your face though, you pushed your lips into a thing line, holding the door back as you signaled to Petra that she should be the first to come inside.

"Thank you." She muttered.

"No prob."

You watched as Petra hesitated to push the elevator button; with a set of trembling fingers her palm rested only a few inches before the metallic button that was lit in a red arrow. With another smile you came closer to her and went to check in which floor the elevator was currently at. Whether she flinched intentionally or not, you didn't know.

"Wanna share a lift? It'll be a while till it comes down again." You offered.

"Uhm, yeah okay."

Once she responded, Petra tapped onto the elevator button with her thumb.

Petra looked at you and clung onto the edged of her cardigan once again. You took notice of how she looked a little more casual and unkept, despite being dressed on point; the lack of a jacket and her tousled naturally wavy bob betrayed an unwillingness to be present to today's event and it's was painfully obvious.

"I'd like to" Petra hesitated, "I'd like to talk to you about something."

"Oh sure, what is it about?"

"It's about Levi."

Dead silence fell as Petra didn't dare turn her gaze to your direction. The little screen over the elevator button still showed that your lift was taking long to come down as if it mocked you, but you couldn't find it in you to tap into the button once again.

"Would you like to grab some coffee with me tomorrow?"

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

To say that you were panicked would be an exaggeration and probably a degradation to Petra's feelings. Her breathing was heavier than your own, frankly because for her it must have been even more uncomfortable than it was for you. You couldn't blame her for that.

Nonetheless you couldn't help but be genuinely curious as to what she had wanted to tell you? It was evident that she knew something. What's slipped you was whether or not she want to bash you for your actions.

She had every right to do so.

"Yeah. Of course, uhh, tomorrow sounds good."

....

Christmas day wasn't as bad as you had expected it to be when Hange had announced to you that Levi would be coming alone with Petra.

For starters, the food was in plehtora; Erwin had cooked your jolly favorite roasted chicken, Mike and Nanaba had brought an enormous plate of their creamiest, most mouth watering souffle, Levi had made some god tasty pumpkin soup and Hange had taken actually good care of fixing a custom non alcoholic cocktail to each one of you.

All of this drool worthy deliciousness had caused, and non surprisingly at that, your body to submit in that peaceful demi slumber that tagged along with the fullness of your tummy. Frankly, it had been so long since you had enjoyed such a good meal and you didn't think you would be enjoying another one until Mikasa's birthday.

Thus, the cool evening sir that entered the room when Erwin opened the window door to the balcony, found you laying on the floor right next to the tangerine fire that danced in the fireplace. You could faintly feel Nanaba's hand scratch at the roots of your hair, her almond tipped nails slowly running in purringly mellow lines over your sculp that sent you to pure delight.

Levi's eyes danced over your form more than he'd like to admit so. Ever so slightly his pupils would travel up and down your thighs and calfs, examining the material of your sheer back pantyhose but whatever emotion overcame him wasn't the animalistic lust he had expected to feel.

He felt rather guilty. And not only for staring at your legs. For bringing himself upon the situation he was in.

It wasn't easy to think with a throbbing head but in Levi's world this poor condition was translated as a prompt to try to get out of whatever shithole he had found himself in. Maybe. Because there was also a certain part inside of him that bashed him to no end about his previous and degrading actions to both Petra's and his person, which part he completely and rationally justified.

With a quick glance at Petra, Levi brought his hand to his face to hopefully wipe any of the numbness his guilt had got him feeling. Petra seemed to enjoy herself as per usual. With her soft smiles and the mellow sway of her hair over her shoulder, she'd often reach for the hem of her white wooly cardigan to cover her shoulder while cooing into the soft material and onto the side of the couch she was seating in.

It would be hard for anyone to guess that the two of them had broken up.

She was unsurprisingly sitting as far off him as she could; the fact that they hadn't announced to anyone they had broken up because they didn't want the Christmas party at Erwin's to be ruined didn't mean she owned Levi to act like his faithful and bubbly dog.

It happened that night after he had stood her up at the movies.

Levi had gathered all of his determination and had managed to push all thoughts aside from the back of his brain, as he was despairate to ignore that feeling your make out session had brushed on him. He had walked up to Petra, all dissolved and stoic, his chest swelling with anxiety. He had stared at her with an agape mouth, he had been muttering words so honest that he felt were fatally brute and Petra had digested them all without any difficulty.

And before he knew it, he was over and done.

Petra hadn't cried, she hadn't wept, she had only answered him with a smile that she'd rather just be friends with him if things weren't going to work between them.

And to an extended it tortured the ravenette, mostly because he remembered the hurt look in her face before she had managed to hide it with her usual mellow smile.

Taking another sigh, Levi stared at Petra's hand while she played silently with the lettuce hem of her dress. Her hazel orbs were fixed on you, who laid before the fireplace like a stray cat on the tire of car during a snowy day. Levi couldnt exactly place the exact emotion behind Petra's expression, though it would be perceived by most as a saddened one. There were specs of regret gathering at the corners of her eyes, reluctance gathered at her slightly puckered lips and a hint of determination to the front tips of her eyebrows.

Maybe Petra's inner strength was something that Levi deeply admired.

Levi made no effort whatsoever to reach out to her to ask what was going on, not even to show some seemingly convern. The more he looked at Petra, the more it felt utterly wrong for him to simply stand next to her, knowing what he had do behind her back. Whether he loved her or not, it wasn't like him to be caught up in such stupid drama.

"Shorty!"

Levi looked up to an enthusiastic Hange with much tousled hair and a big grin on her face that spread from one ear to another. With another, more thorough glance, he quickly became aware of the cake in her hands; a cake covered in white frosting, decorated with soft pastel green letters that wrote a simple birthday wish to his person. He couldn't help but let out a sigh.

"For you!" Hange smiled further "Erwiiin, come light up the candles!"

Looking around the room he noticed how all of his friends' gazes were on him. Mike and Nanaba remained cuddled on the couch opposite to the one he was on, Petra was mellowy smiling at his eith her cherry lips pressed into a thin line and you were fiddling with what seating arrangement was most comfortable for you at the moment.

"We're celebrating another year where you went up in age and down in height, how delightful." Mike commented, causing laughter to spark between the small group of people around you.

After the spur of happiness died out your eyes met with Levi's, briefly and then they traveled anywhere else in the room altogether.

"Let's light up the candles!" Smiled Erwin as he flicked the small metallic button of his lighter.

"I don't want too many, shit. The last time you took my lungs out."

"Not our fault that you're old Levi!" You spoke, earning a half smile by the ravenette.

"Very old!" Hange agreed.

"Tch, I'm only turning twenty six shut your shitty mouths!"

The warm light of the fire licked each waxed strip of wick that hung from the candles, illuminating Hange's face in warm orange light. Once done with lighting up the candles, Erwin plopped himself in between Levi and Petra, crossing his hands over his knees as he shifted his bottom in the most uncomfortable seating on a couch you had ever witnessed.

You merely caught a glimpse of Hange kneeling before Levi as you dragged your gaze over to Petra, fixating it on her for the thousandth time this evening.

There only was one thing in your head that bounced between the crevices of your brain like crazy. Just one simple words that held so much behind it.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow you were going to apologize to Petra and try to make amends. Being the despicable toxic person you had turned into didn't suit you. Owing up to your mistakes was the first step to redemption and you weren't afraid to take it.

As you fell into a spiral of thoughts and guesses about tomorrow though, you couldn't help but subtly ignore the cheerful sing alone to Levi's birthday song.

.....

"Thank you for coming!"

Petra's hair was messily swaying all over her face, falling a direct victim to the frozen December air, yet she smiled as if nothing was going on.

The park around you was covered in snow. White was primarily the color that was plastered on everything, save for the dry stems of trees that were once covered in forest green leaves.

Your peeping hot coffee did nothing to warm up your hands, despite your best wishes and in the moment you had called victim to some specs of jealousy over Petra's gloved hands as they rubbed soothing over her own coffee.

"Of course, I had been meaning to talk to you as well."

"Oh you did?" Petra spoke with her eyebrows following the little surprise that was masking her tone. "To be honest, I didn't think you'd come."

"Yeah about that-"

"Can I please go first?" Petra cut you off.

Her huge hazel eyes that blinked into yours from your left side left you little to no space to deny her wish. Thus, by taking a sigh, you pushed past the quick beating of your heart and gestured her to go first with a kind smile on your face.

"Okay oof, thanks!" Petra huffed "look. Levi and I broke up. Now I know that you'll say it doesn't concern you, and frankly it'd be ideal if it didn't, but I know it does, because Levi explained to me what happened."

At that Petra slightly paused.

Naturallye first thing that came to your mind was the need to express an apology. Although, you weren't that sure if Petra would perceive the apology as sincere, you felt like you ought to give one to her. Yet her eyes blinked into yours further as she took another turn down the path you were walking on and you wordlessly followed asuit.

"I love Levi you know," she sighed "but Levi loves you. You're not over each other and it's painfully obvious, I mean you did just collided to eachother quite literally, not giving a single care about whether you couldn't have each other or not."

A sheer red colored tint painted your cheeks at her words.

Your skin pricked you, burning up a stingingly painful path to all of the pores on your face as shame took the form of an earth shattering wave. Your heart started heaping beats, hollering into the depths of your chest and you could hear it bounce inside your eardrums as if your whole body was hollow save for the jolting organ and the echo of the sound it made was bouncing around each fleshy wall.

Petra was right and you couldn't help but accept but stand the as she was lightning you with her words.

"It hurts to see that someone that I love doesn't love me back but it hurts more to see that you two are very miserable without eachother. I really thought you were a bitch you know."

At the sound of that, you let out a startled laugh.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you just gave us looks when we'd shoe up together somewhere or you'd simply leave, but I don't like turning my back on people and judging them like that. I'm in no place to judge anyone a coping mechanism."

Petra sighed. Her fingers curled strongly onto her cup, while her left palm went to support the cup by the bottom as she angled it on her lips. She made a tiny gulping noise as she drank a sip from her latte, her nose crinkling up as the hot beverage brushed over her sensitive tongue. In turn, you sipped similarly, mimicking Petra just hoping it would serve as a sign for her to go on with her speech.

"I might be hurt, but I vouch to help you and Levi resolve what's going on and get back together."

"You do?"

"Mhm"

"Petra I, I don't know what to say you- you're a literal angel." You admit and the guilt in your stomach only growled in its awakening.

You and Levi had hurt a wonderful person. Petra didn't need to be nice to you, she didn't need to offer to help you with anything but once you made yourself step inside her shoes you were able to see why she had perceived you the way that she initially had.

"I'm sorry."

Your voice was silent and stripped of any emotion other than shame yet Petra was beaming at you in response.

Her warm smile was elegant and comforting as she stared at you, taking another gulp of her drink with a soft giggle. Your eyes were locked with hers, saddened (e/c) irises staring into her hazel ones, as she smiled even more little by little.

It was strange.

There was a different kind of bubbling inside your chest and you knew because your heart wasn't hammering anymore, not was your stomach trying to be ripped apart in tiny pieces after it vored into your other intestines. You felt serene, at peace even.

It clicked to you that this is what must feel to be forgiven.

"It's fine, plus you guys kinda deserve each other." Petra laughed at your chocked inhale, pressing a comforting, gloved palm to your shoulder. "I'd rather find my happiness when I'm not in between two people that struggle to find theirs."

Petra nuzzled to the comfort of her jacket, giving you a scrunched up bunny smile. You knew it's not that she hoped you could be best friends after this. She simply wanted to make sure that she could do her best to help two people find happiness. And it wasn't all that bad, you figured. You didn't know what you would do were you in her place.

In a way, you admired Petra for being so strong.

"Besides, girls shouldn't bring down other girls."

"Yeah, and I'm sorry about what I did behind your back. I own up to my mistake. I can't take it back but I can promise that I won't become this toxic ever again."

You shot an apologetic side smile at her as you followed her tracks.

Taking a new look in your surroundings, you deeply inhaled the cold air, filling your lungs in shivering winter freshness. A few specs of snow were adorning Petra's hair as the fell from the sky in a dainty manner, licking the stray threads that popped from her wooly gloves.

There definitely was a commotion a few blocks away. You could hear sirens go off not so far from your spot but you chose to ignore them, it was typical for a city person to filter out unnecessary noise, and having to live in Trost added tons to what you had to filter or not.

"It's December twenty six and the two is back to being a Mayhem." Petra sighed.

"It's like we're Gotham or some shit."

"Gotham?" Petra blinked at you, earning a gasp from you.

"Step one to being the friend of someone who's majoring in comics-"

"Oh, friends yay!"

Shaking your head, to ignore the child like enthusiasm, you continued, "Please know the most well known fictional city, it's Batman's city too."

"OH!" Petra's mouth fell agape as she took in the information, but she quickly giggled again as she saw that you easily took a gulp of your beverage "you're right."

For what seemed like a second you felt at peace once again. Petra bubbled about how she wanted to apologise to Levi about her rather cold behavior last night, and explained in the most non detailed way how it was the memory of the passing of her mother that had caused her to become this grumpy.

"Don't worry Petra! But beware, you could be turning into Levi version two point oh and-"

A loud sound startled you, sending both you and Petra back a few steps. Dumbfounded, you stared at each other and around you, locking eyes with different by passers that were just as shocked as you.

"Maybe we should go back!" Petra suggested. You simply nodded, hearing a good amount of running footsteps coming to the direction of the block you were in. In any way, getting caught up with a manhunt wasn't in your plans for today

"Yeah maybe we shou-"

Your words were cut off absurdly, harshly and shockingly all together. As gunmetal orbs locked with yours, your eyelids shot open, hour mouth dropping to the snow covered concrete.

"Levi?"

Wait, Levi? That was actually so random

Before you could manage to process what was going on around you, or why on earth Levi had just popped up from the alley right across you another head splitting sound filled the air.

Levi -yes, this was indeed Levi, you just didn't really know how to process this- collapsed on his knees like a rag doll, his torso and head giving in to the exhaustion of his body. Once he fell, you stood frozen, shieldimg Petra with one hand as the two of you watched in horror while crimson started littering the sugary snow.

"Call an ambulance." You spoke dryly, eyes still wide with horror.

The people who had seemed to be after Levi quickly fell onto the hands of the hands of a handful of police men who were on their tracks, but you couldn't care to look at their faces. You just run towards Levi, always followed by a petrified Petra, your feet giving in as you kneeled right next to him, your fingers gingery ghosting over him just to inspect what was his condition.

You listened as Petra spoke with the emergency center in horror, explaining what was the scene before her eyes while struggling to keep herself from trembling.

"What's going on?" Shy muttered once she detached the phone off her ear.

"I'm pretty sure now is not the right time for a story, but Levi used to be in a street gang in his teens."

"Oh boy."

Oh boy indeed.

Here's your gentle reminder that constructive criticism makes me cry because I'm a baby

Taglist: @sasageyowrites @liddolwhynot2000 @ackermans-freedom-inc @callmepromise @nobody-knows-anymore @levisbrat25 @thethyri @hawkssnugget @berrijam @melancholicmonologue

#levi #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #levi imagine #aot #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin #snk x reader #aot x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #shingeki no kyojin imagine #snk season 4 #snk levi #snk imagine #snk imagines #aot imagines #aot one shot #aot au #levi aot #aot season 4 #petra ral #x reader #fanfictiom #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction

[kingneptunesthinninghead]

How much do you weigh? what a weirdly personal question

If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? sitting in the shade reading a book

Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? yes but not in a way that will ever be truly fulfilling

What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? i live in a very rural area so i grew up with hunting for sport extremely normalized but once i actually developed and used my critical thinking skills i realized how morally reprehensible it is. literally just begging these people to use their brains.

Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? eh its pretty fast

Have you ever been someplace tropical? florida lmao

Are you sensitive to caffeine? somewhat. i dont really consume it that much

How do you usually get around? driving myself

Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? no bc i’m generally pretty independent unless i reallyyyy like someone

What do you think about Kim Kardashian? neutral

Can you speak any French? je parle un peu français

Favorite yogurt flavor? i’m lactose intolerant so i recently tried dairy free yogurt and i hated it sooo i guess none

How much money do you have in your wallet right now? i dont have any cash in my wallet rn lol

What bottled water brand do you like? deer park or aquafina

Your favorite way to eat chocolate? brownies

How often do you listen to country music? sometimes.

Linkin Park or Avenged Sevenfold? neither

Last surgery you had? my wisdom teeth surgery

Have you ever played guitar? no but i wish i could

Is there someone in your life whose career/life choices you find immoral/unethical? Have you ever told that person your views? Do you find it difficult to support them (emotionally or otherwise) because of their choices? um i dont think so

What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? a little more confidence

Have you ever considered writing your memoirs? maybe

Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? i dont have very many online friends anymore but when i had a bunch i loved talking to them

Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? only for something i really like.

Do you have any stickers on your laptop? a bunch

Would you rather have a job for which you had to go in early in the morning or one you had to stay late into the evening at? early in the morning so then i have the rest of the day to myself when i get off

Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? i have a workout app but that’s it.

Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? my mom, sister, and my 2 best friends

If you could’ve been at any historical event, which would you have liked to witness firsthand? probably the women’s suffrage movement or the civil rights movement

Is there something that you really want to do but are afraid of doing? If so, why are you afraid of doing it?i want to tell him how i feel but i’m afraid i’ll ruin the friendship

What is something society “expects” you to do that you don’t want to do and/or don’t plan on doing? wear a tampon i’m sorry but i can’t do it

Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever come to your door? no

Are you well-known by people in your area? eh somewhat

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no and i dont want to

What's your favourite type of bird? owls!!

What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? i’m watching loki, hsmtmts, planning to watch s2 of never have i ever, and i started one piece but i haven’t watched in a while

Have you ever dated a smoker? no but that might change😳

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? no

Have you ever been a member in a band? No.

Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No.

Do you have separate emails for personal and business? i have my school email and personal email

Have you ever missed a flight? no

Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? i think so.

Have you ever taken a ride in a convertible? i literally rode in my best friend’s convertible last night lmao

Why did you last need to use a band-aid? i dont remember

What fruit do you eat most often? bananas and clementines

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? maybe my great uncle?

Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? no but i’ve been in a few on insta and twitter.

Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? i don’t straight up drink milk but i love things made with almond milk.

If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? elsa i want ice powers

When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? sometimes but normally during the day i’m in the living room with my family

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No.

Do you find piercings attractive? Yep.

Do you like potato chips? Loooove 'em.

What’s the most stalker-like/creepy thing you’ve ever done? If you don’t think you’ve done anything like that, what’s the most stalker-like thing someone’s done to you? i’ve looked up a few people’s houses on zillow in my day.

Do you think it’s a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it’s assault? absolutely, you shouldn’t hit anyone

What’s your favorite old Disney movie and favorite new Disney movie? my top 3 are princess and the frog, tangled, and frozen 2. i also love the little mermaid

Name something “trendy” or popular that you dislike. idrk

“Dirty talk” in the bedroom…love it, like it, don’t care, dislike it, or hate it? it depends on what it is. it should also be mixed with some loving or praise talk imo

What is/are your favorite type(s) of ethnic food, and what’s your favorite food within that type? i LOVE italian food specifically fettuccine alfredo and i also love asian food such as general tso’s, sweet and sour chicken, lo mein, shrimp fried rice, LUMPIA 🤤

How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? i’ve always liked my hair color and thickness. i always go back and forth between growing it out long and cutting it short bc i can never choose which i like more also it has lots of red undertones so i’m thinking about dyeing it a deep red

How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? hypothetically it would be a red flag to me. a clear sign they haven’t moved on from the past

Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? a good smelling cologne on a man will quite literally make me bust a nut.

Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? i’d want them to unless it didnt fit or something

What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? i’m very close with my family so i’ve always loved the idea of having one of my own with my future spouse

Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? i definitely have ideas for my wedding and i would want it to go a certain way according to our plan but in the end if things go wrong or plans change it wouldn’t matter as long as i’m marrying the loml.

Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a strip club and then doesn’t tell you? i wouldn’t consider it cheating if he was just watching but i would be angry that he hid it from me

How old is too old for trick-or-treating? i dont think it matters unless ur posing a danger to little children

Do you sleep with your arms over or under the covers? depends but mostly under

Do you own any t-shirts of your favorite band? i have nsync and harry styles shirts but thats it

Fries or onion rings? Fries.

True/False: you’ve had an odd dream this week. all the time but most of the time i forget them right after i wake up

Do you find tattoo sleeves attractive? depends

Do you like carving pumpkins? Yeah.

What’s an animal you want to have as a pet but can’t? i think raccoons are adorable but its kindaaaa hard to domesticate them

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? no bc my parents let me drink in the house and i’ve told them abt every time i’ve drank at college

How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? i would absolutely piss and shit on myself.

Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? no

The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realize what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? i would stop it even if i want to bc i don’t want them to regret anything and i wouldn’t want them to kiss me if they don’t like me bc it would hurt too much.

What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? i would love them all but something abt a guy taking the time to write a poem for me makes me melt

Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? no.

Which holiday is the most fun to decorate for? halloween

What was the first website you had an email account on? gmail

Have you ever written a fanfic? YES AHSHDH.

Tattoos or piercings? tats for sure.

What’s the last gross movie/show/video you saw? the scene where alexei breaks the inmate’s wrist in black widow is SO GROSS i cringe every time

Would you rather live in a huuuge house or a little cozy one? definitely a little cozy one

Do you have a tutor for anything? No.

Who’s the best kisser you know? i’ve only kissed one person.

Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. I'd like it to stay that way.

(If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shortie" instead of girl? no and i hope they dont

Do you have a deep voice? not really

Do you play games with boys/girls, like 'hard to get’? no thats dumb

Is there a Sonic where you live? yes i’m a whore for sonic

What do you like on your pizza? pepperoni or sausage

#surveys #survey

[justdyingslowly]

1. Name justdyingslowly obviously come on

2. Nationality Australian

3. Age 22

4. Birthday nnnah dont feel like it

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) Libra/Scorpio cusp

6. Gender wamon

7. Sexuality very very hetero

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) androgenous

9. What do you/did you study? Psychology (focus on sexology) and art.

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I am disabled you think I can work ha sexologist would be awesome. When I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman but Australias always burning

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11. Your birth order head first

12. How many siblings do you have? 1

13. Do you have good relations with your family? yeah dads finally out of his abusive relationship, nearing age 70 and his emotions and his sexuality are finally opening up for the first time and that makes me SO happy.

14. How many friends do you have? what kind of fucked up question is this.

15. Your relationship status relationshipped. Fiance? got the marriage papers in a drawer somewhere with the car rego but can’t be fucked filling them?

16. What do you look for in a SO? empathetic, mature, calm. Always open to discussion. Prefers to be blunt rather than secretive. Emotional age over 14 (incredibly fucking rare apparently). Puts an importance on context and understanding other views above all else.

17. Do you have a crush? Hellll yeah Crush on my partner and got a crush on a mutual friend of ours who don’t even know hes cute af hehe one day partners gonna accidentally spill the beans and embarrass me coz hes shit with secrets RIP me.

18. When did you have your first kiss? You think I can remember this bullshit? Its not that big a deal

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? One night stand sex almost exclusively sucks. Just. SUCKS. Because neither of you know what the other likes and it ends up being an awkward mix of trying to please yourself while trying to also be considerate.

20. What are your deal breakers? Plugging your ears to anything that feels gross, uncomfortable or disagrees with you. How can you grow as a person without introspection? How can you mold what you think and believe without taking in other arguments and comparing them to your beliefs to see how they stack up? Its pathetic.

-

21. How was your day? cute mutual friend had a fall this morning and were both worried about him. His back is bad and he’s getting a little older, he can’t be getting dizzy and having falls like that. other than that im anxious about seeing my gastro. He’s lovely but... specialists are specialists. Good at knowing what they know but not always great at listening.

22. Favourite food & drink you think im allowed to eat or drink? water and... foods a touchy subject.

23. What position do you sleep in? Usually on my side with a body pillow to grip so I don’t end up choking my partner in his sleep.

24. What was your last dream about? uuhhh...going to italy and being unable to get into this tiny basket boat properly.

25. Your fears does PTSD to medical shit count haha

26. Your dreams ... going to italy and being unable to get into a tiny basket boat thingy?

27. Your goals - get some sort of diagnosis eventually. Its been 3 years of trying and im tired. - get back to studying art part time for my bachelors. - pass JLPT N3. - go back to university for psychology. - do the dishes when I get home.

28. Any pets? two budgies. we also take care of any orphaned or injured birds.

29. What are your hobbies? feeling nauseous drawing writing a little bit im making a little gameboy game in C atm too

30. Any cool places in your area? i live next to a national park with waterfalls and koalas and emus and stuff

31. What was your last awkward situation? mutual friend made a comment on his chest i playfully smacked it (related to the comment) it was surprisingly hard “O-oh wow, thats... I didnt expect that” my partner laughed at me. it was awful.

32. What is your last regret? getting embarrassed at friends pecs stop making me think about it 33. Language/s you can speak english. N4 Japanese.

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) of course not what the fuck

35. Have any quirks? Quirkless. I do wiggle when im happy though apparently.

36. Your pet peeves open doors.

37. Ideal vacation spend a months chilling in an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

38. Any scars? internal? yes

39. What does your last text message say? peepee poopoo ustinky

40. Last 5 things from your search history how do i find this

41. What’s your [device] background? Sam Porter Bridges walkin around Sam Porter Bridges cuddling BB-28 Louise while he sleeps my chicken

42. What do you daydream about? all might

43. Describe your dream home an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion its a comforting thought having a parent-figure who cares about you and looks after all the big things you can’t manage yourself, but institutionalizing it runs a severe risk of becoming harmful cults. And it often does.

45. Your personality type me

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done i saw the lost bunny that was on all the posters in the neighbourhood looked thin and patchy so i grabbed him to take him home. im allergic. sent me to hospital and I almost died.

47. Are you happy with your current life? feeling sick sucks and partners having a depressive episode but things are pretty good

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life living

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? blacks, reds, whites and pinks

50. Favourite colour to wear? at the moment pink. Red is always comforting though.

51. How would you describe your style? mix between lazy alternative punk, teenager with band shirts and harajuku peach kawaii uwu

52. Are you happy with your current looks? kinda wish i was a bit shorter but what can you do

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? bit shorter

54. Any tattoos or piercings? lol no PTSD

55. Do you get complimented often? by who? partner constantly, family haha are you kidding im australian so a friend’s version of showing affection is calling you a cunt and slapping your ass in public

56. Favourite aesthetic? all might

57. A popular trend that you dislike blocking because you disagree or find them distasteful. Ignoring all context to opposing thoughts and arguments. taking a personal feeling of disgust to mean something is evil. Blocking your ears to anything that isn’t a circlejerk of what you already think - and trying to isolate anyone who even just listens to something other then the noise of your sloppy dicks to have a thought of their own.

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58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with? The Machine by Low Roar

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like. why wouldnt i admit i like a song

60. Favourite genre? probably enka haha

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? probably enka haha oh and tatsuro yamashita

62. Hated popular songs/artists? why the hell would I hate something like a song? I hate aspects of the music industry as a whole I guess?

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 which playlist they aren’t all together in one place

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? piano, saxophone... uh... partners good at making music and playing shakuhachi

65. Do you like karaoke? no.

66. Own any albums? yes? many?

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? no. but triple J, ABC Jazz and Classical. sometimes they even play final fantasy and JRPG music on classical which is pretty neat. -

68. Favourite movie/series? can i make this about games because then the answer is Metal Gear Solid

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc ...shounen?

70. Your fictional crush/es if they’re over 40yrs old, male and happy and bubbily or grumpy and sad then there’s a big ol fat chance I wanna bone. Solid Snake from MGS4, All Might and pretty much anyone drawn by Tarou Madoromi.

71. Which fictional character is you? uh

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so what does this even mean what language is this

73. Favourite greek god? idk hades seems chill

74. A legend from where you live that you like the story of Tjilbruke is funny and good. all Kaurna stories are good.

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist? im in a big egon schiele mood atm.

76. Can you share your other social media? no i am incapable

77. Favourite youtubers? many

78. Favourite platform? not too high up. actually i like being a little lower than ground level in corners.

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite? look i just want to say that MGS4 is the best one in the series and Death Stranding is phenomenally engaging.

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) these are all so goddamn definitive how can I pick? Oh wait the answer is One Piece

82. Do you play board/card games? I play DnD atm and know 15 yr old rules to Yugioh

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? that shit dosn’t happen here

84. Favourite holiday golden week coz its a week also easter because thats when all the glucose based sweets come back

85. Are you into dramas? what kind

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86. Would you use death note, if you had one? no. thats called being a murderer.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? chill people out a bit. when people feel unsafe they get really depenfive and territorial and block their ears to everything, making in-and-out groups for themsevles that end up putting them in more harm.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? im disabled with a disabled partner. we arent funny sure we can survive normal everyday life when society is angled so sharply against us.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? id like to be a mimi spirit

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? spooky time

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? toshinori yagi

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? anyone healthy

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo that cursed one with the intense eyes and the hand

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true im me im not me im pee

-

95. Cold or hot? cold.

96. Be a hero or be a villain? both are distasteful ideas in reality

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? i can’t do either partner speak sin bad puns and its hell, these both sound about equal

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting. controlling time is eithe rmanipulative or lonely. shapeshifing is every other superpower at once.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death? both are deeply upsetting ideas

100. ….. or …..? jiji or ossan? generally Jiji, but ossans can be lovely too.

#personal #stupid

[jamaisjoons]

hi, i know you arent a therapist or a counsellor of any sort but i just really dont know who else to go to. if you find that this ask is too bothersome then feel free to delete it but i just needed a place to let go of my thoughts. i have a best friend, and we've been friends for 8+ years. lately, i find it really difficult to be friends with her because she's constantly asking me to shower her with attention while she barely does the same for me. (1)

i never realized this until a few weeks ago, when we went out with three of her other friends. she barely hung around me and was always talking with them. i was okay with it though. but then when it was time to go home, we were on the train with them and i sat on a seat. there were seats next to me but her friends wanted to stand so she decided to stand too. the entire 40 minutes ride, i was all alone while she chatted and giggled with her friends and i just felt really upset eventhough (2)

it's really petty. when her friends finally dropped off, she came to me and sat next to me. i was listening music and was tired so i didnt say anything to her but she got really upset that i didnt talk to her when she came to me. from then on she became a lil cold with me and i got pissed because how is it fair to get mad at me when you were the one who ignored me first. but i valued our friendship so i kept that thought to myself. now that we're both having a school holiday, i wanted (3?)

us to go out with our other best friend and spend time together because its been MONTHS since we saw our other friend but she kept giving uninterested answers. i gave so many suggestions but she was not cooperating at all and it hurt me a lot. then since last week, she kept going out with her other friends eventhough they're last minute plans and it just hurts me a lot because was this all due to me ignoring her???? i love her a lot as a best friend but the way she treats me is making me (4?)

feel otherwise. im just so lost and confused and hurt and i dont know if i should stop being friends with her now. but if i stop being friends with her then our other best friend would also be hurt because she hates tensions and awkwardness and i just... really dont know anymore. this isnt the only problem i have with her tbh. but this problem made me really rethink our friendship. i just wish i could turn back time and talk to her on the train... (final)

---------------------------------------------

okay phew this is long. firstly, no tea no shade, your friend is egocentric and displaying incredibly toxic traits. like i know you probably want to preserve your friendship because you’ve been friends for so long but just because you’ve had someone in your life for a long time doesn’t mean they’re necessarily good for you. friendships work both ways and the fact that she constantly demands attention for you but refuses to give you any thoughts/care about your feelings is incredibly hurtful. re the hanging out with friends part, even when in a group of friends, you can’t single out and make one person feel unwelcome. to give them all her attention, and only turn to you when they’re gone, and then demand you give her the time of the day only to be upset when you don’t want to do that,,,,, no. that’s not a thing friends do.

i would personally say, you’re not obligated to be friends with her and if you want to stop, then tbh, you should just stop. your other friend may not want tensions but at the end of the day your hurt is completely valid and you should never have to repress that for other people. you don't need to suppress your own hurt for the comfort of other people. you don't owe other people that. you owe other people nothing. if your friend doesn't understand your hurt and tha you left for valid reasons, that person is not your friend either. also its incredibly telling that you’re rethinking your friendship/wanting to leave. that doesn’t happen unless ur hurt is great. my honest advice would be do what is best for you, not what is best for other people.

also feelings don't have an expiration date. if you want to speak to her and try and fix the friendship, ofc you completely can!! i would suggest dropping her a message and just being completely honest about how you’ve felt. if she’s a real friend and if she really cares about you she will acknowledge that hurt, apologise and try to do better. if she goes in the opposite direction, then im sorry to say but she’s not really your friend at all. im really sorry to hear you’re going through this my love :( i know its probably incredibly stressful and you’re hurt and i hope you fix this soon :( whether that be talking it out and maintaining a friendship, or straight up cutting her out, is completely on you. but either way, i sincerely hope you find peace and happiness in whichever outcome ♡

#the nameless #asks #sol's (un)helpful advice

[mummabearsmusings]

ALL MY OTHER POSTS AND A BIG UPDATE.

My ex got residency three years ago and I got contact supervised by my family, or a few named agreed friends.

This was due to ongoing concerns from.my ex and members of his family, concerns they echoed for months, but never shared them with me, or my doctor, just with the nursery my cub was at.

These allegations, I still don't know what they were, but they were serious enough for social services to visit, once and decided that I had made mistakes because I was unwell, and that whatever those were they were completely unintentional (absent minded human errors, nothing serious, but got reported as safeguarding concerns)

Supervision lasted for 18 months, because it was up to him to decide when my time increased and my supervision decreased. That meant my mum had to sleep on my sofa almost every weekend for a year, my mum who has diabetes type 2, fibromyalgia and asthma which he knew about and when she didn’t my sister did. My sister who has two children of her own, both with additional needs, which he also knew about but we weren't allowed there..we weren't allowed to stay out anywhere besides my dads unless he gave permission, said so on the order. Wasn't allowed to take him on a playdate without it either, because there was four people named additionally on our order that were allowed to "supervise" me. It wasn't fun but I didn’t have a choice because his barrister had worded the court order so beautifully for the resident parent. I reapplied to court after 13 months of that order being in place, requesting supervision is gone and we have shared care and that the judge will give me permission to take him abroad and give me access to his passport that I applied and paid for..but they could only send to resident parent unless they had something from them in writing it could he sent to another address. He initially said he was too young, he may panic, he may get lost, someone may knock me over/out and snatch him, he may get sick, it might hurt his ears. He remembered and put in his statements that on our last holiday abroad that my nieces and little cousins got up to dance and no adult followed.I was 30 weeks pregnant.. so our child wasn't even born yet. I offered once he confirmed i could be unsupervised and finally have him over midweek sometimes meaning I could finally take him to school on my own that I would be happy to have him all three late shifts he worked each week but he had it covered almost always because of the fact he moved back to the family home and his mums a childminder so he had childcare sorted when he was working and it wasn’t my time. I originally got him one afternoon a week until 6, three weekends out of four Friday from 3 til sunday at 6 and half of all hols. That one afternoon was up to him because I wasn't working and he worked shifts on a rota so flexibility was key.   But meant it wasn’t often the same afternoon each week to begin with..then it mostly became thursdays which meant football training 6 til 7, so again I offered and asked if he could just stay here after and instead I was to drop him off after training (usually about half 7) After he confirmed I could be unsupervised and have alternate contact on his weekends he also allowed 6 to be extended to 7. Before he confirmed I could have him alternate time, every month for over a year it meant I had no contact with him for up to 9 days at a time Last year due to the way his annual leave went I didn't see him from last week of summer hols until his first morning back at school. That was 12 days of no contact. It took another 13 months to get a first hearing. In that time I chose to do three parenting courses, a first aid refresher, two Surrey adult learning courses and a second round of CBT. In that time I also volunteered as a parent helper at his school and joined the PTA and was heavily involved. I began training (studying/volunteering in another primary school as a teaching assistant) and I qualified last year. I am not back volunteering at either school because no non  paid members of staff can be on the premises. I fought back.I will always fight back I will always fight for what I think is right..and fair..and i will fight to be that boys mum. My mh was no concern to any medical professionals. Never had been but never got to exhibit that to the judge the first time. This time I did,plus added all my course certificates etc. In March I was given 50/50 joint residency, so every week since (bar the last four weeks of summer) I have had him from thursday to sunday. Some weeks I will have him weds to saturday. It’s his dad’s weekend off, normally he is working because the weekend he books off is our sons birthday, for the first time since he moved out he has also had his own birthday off work Our son is now 8. Despite all our clashes etc we have spent every birthday with him, just us three, the previous two years we even managed to throw birthday parties together..and we have spent every Christmas morning together too, because it makes the kid happy and both of us don't want to miss out, so we choose to share..he then gets family time still..we're not a family anymore but we're his. He pointed that out to me when he was 5 and it's always stuck in my mind All I want is the kid to be happy so if spending time with my ex makes him happy then crack on. Our son hero worships him and he is a brilliant attentive loving dad. They adore each other. Just like our son loves me loads as well. He's such a great kid Smart. Kind. Funny. Sassy. Very loving. His happiness will always come first..when he's older no doubt his wishes and feelings will change..but for now if the kid wants us both birthday and Christmas morning he's got us both. Here. I have to just deal with the current situation by letting him "win"  But the reason I am doing the Freedom Programme again is because I need to learn how to have boundaries, set them and stick to them. I am very much the fawn response.   I need help with the boundary thing.  As I mentioned above we have always shared our son’s birthday, plus christmas eve and morning, this time he didnt even ask if he could stay at mine He’s just invited himself round. It was the status quo before because the first year I still had to be supervised and that night it could only have been by him. I have 0 issue with him coming here first thing nor coming over christmas morning til half12 if that's what our son wants to keep happening. I would rather we share than either of us miss out but he didn’t even ask me if he was okay to stay, I'm more than happy for our son to see us both on his birthday and to have him here for a while but I don't want him staying here anymore. It sets my anxiety rocketing but I'm never going to let either of them know that or you know it's going to go against me My family don't think he should set foot in here at night time ever saying I can't trust him not to go through my stuff, to start taking pics, to take or hide other stuff, or to try and pull something else to mess with my head.  I'm well aware he doesn't love me. I'm not in love with him any more. I'm not ready to meet anyone or hook up with anyone else yet it’s having a boundary knowing it can backfire I dont want to miss any of his birthday either. But if he had his own place I'd have happily gone over in the morning, hell I'd have even bought bloody bacon sandwiches over ykno I've done fp twice prior to the 50/50 I want it because I need to figure out how to set those boundaries. Grey rock isn’t an option for me. Because my respectful amicable texts are what the solicitor said are like my trump card when I applied to vary. Done three parenting courses. My problem is I will fake it for our son’s sake, there has been nothing I haven't agreed to if it makes him happy. I can have my own life and make my own choices when he is bigger but now that smile is worth all the discomfort and to be honest with you when its just the three of us it's so easy going and it feels real. I see a genuine smile when our son and I are playing.. or a genuine one from me when they are. Like true co-parenting. There isn't a former. I met him when he was 21. I am the only person he ever bought home. The first and only girlfriend. I just feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't but I will do anything for that boy regardless of other people's opinions, including my own So do I just need to suck it up? Am I wrong? People say to me you meet someone they won't tolerate you spending time with your ex..well I'm sorry but if our son wants to spend some time with his mum and dad then I will do it for him and if the person I meet doesn’t understand that then they don’t understand me, or how much I love my child. I feel awful sometimes for complaining because he has never raised his hand to me.   I feel like I am not worthy. But I totally know emotional and psychological abuse is just as horrendous and that my experience is as valid as everyone else's if you get what I mean.   I actually have a few good friends now and a few weekends ago my son was invited to a friends to play out, their mums were all having a laugh and including me and even shared some Prosecco with me. I still feel like I'm being spied on. And I actually don't think I am any more. I need to stop panicking and just enjoy being a mum without second guessing myself. I have voiced my concerns about the status quo remaining and as per all of my feelings are invalidated by him I am trying to put a boundary in and set it down but he is refusing to acknowledge my opinion. Same thing, different day. Will it ever end? I have fought to be the best mum I can be, the best role model to my cub. I have a more structured schedule to establish a real routine with him and it means I can now make plans, try and have a life. I spent all that time grieving a living loss, all my time and energy were on fighting this, now I have I want to grieve my relationship that ended almost four years ago, by granny. I want to move on with my life, I want to like myself and eventually love myself again, I want to establish an identity again as opposed to a label. I want to move on, to try and be happy in myself, in my life. I want to be me again. I want to heal, I want to stop feeling like a sufferer and realise I am a survivor. I want to be confident, I want to go out, trust people again, I want to stop feeling like I am under a microscope and I always will be. I have made some wonderful new friends, reconnected with old ones. I want to stop being controlled. I am not a remote. I am a person. I am a mother and a bloody brilliant one. I am a great auntie, friend, daughter, granddaughter and sister and I just want to be acknowledged as a good person.  I don't want him in trouble I want to give a clean slate and draw a line in the sand. I don't want any of the bad anymore. I just want to focus purely on the good now. Why am I still not allowed to do that? Why is it not okay for me to just be me?

#MummaBearMusings

[arplis]

Arplis - News: My 22 Goals for 2019 Week 49 of 52

My 22 Goals for 2019

Goal #1 Spend More Time Doing What I Love

Red alert people, RED ALERT. It was 6 degrees this morning when I woke up. SIX!!! That.Is.Chilly. The Girl and I were going to walk Lucy on the beach this morning but those plans have been scraped. Gaaaa. I think if its 6 degrees outside, all bets are off and you can most certainly declare it a pajama day. Whos with me on this?

Goal #2 Garden, Garden, Garden

Garden are done for the year. Yipee!

Goal #3 Plant an Orchard {Calling it Quits on this one.}

Lemon baby #3 is on the way and we are patiently awaiting her arrival.

Goal #4 Gussy Up the Potting Shed Done!

I gussied up the potting shed at our old house, but I would like to add some sort of potting station to the backyard here somewhere, but Im not sure where I would put it yet.

I did come across this photo on Author Susan Branchs Instagram page though of a picture she tooth at Colonial Williamsburg. Isnt it cute? I think I need one of those.

Goal #5 Grow Enough Extra Vegetables, Eggs and Flowers to Earn $1500 at my little roadside vegetable stand.

It was totally my intention to grow a ton of fruits and vegetables to sell at the farm-stand when I made my list of goals for 2019 last winter, but then we moved. So, that whole goal was sort of a bust. I do miss it though.

Goal #6 Finish Every Single Unfinished Rug Hooking Project in My Pattern Bin + 10 Things from back Issues of Magazines/Books Ive Been Meaning to Make.

While I didnt add any new finished hooked rug pieces in my Etsy shop this past week, I did hook 4 totally new rugs {1 of which will become a kit and 2 will be offered as patterns} as well as hand dyed a bunch of wool {that I was able to get listed in my Etsy shop}.

I have decided to go back to my old schedule of only listing new hooked rugs items on the first Friday of every month for next year as it seems less stressful to me. It allows me more time to hook, rather than stopping every few days to take photo, write up description and then post a single piece online. Doing it all in one big swoop seems less chaotic to me.

73 rugs in my pattern bin {now down to 16} < SO CLOSE!

183 hooked flowers {finished 150, now down to 33}

10 things from back issues of magazines {finished 0}

Goal #7 Create 12 New Rug Hooking Patterns {with at least half of them being large ones} DONE!

So far this year Ive added 12 new rug hooking patterns and 14 beginner rug hooking kits to my Etsy shop. I just added Santa and Rudy 1892 yesterday and am hoping to squeeze one more kit in before the end of the year.

New rug hooking patterns Ive created and added to My Etsy Shop this year:

Santa and Rudy 1892

Tullia and Thomas Turkey

Double Nantucket Whale Runner

Miss Henny and Penny

Miss Penny

Simple Kitty

Primitive Flowers

2 Fat Cats

Annabells Big Day

Old Fashioned Double Tulip

Fat Brown Hen

Busy Little Bee

Queen Bee

Rug Hooking Kits

Busy Little Bee {in 2 different colors}

Folk Art Heart

Small Nantucket Whale

Primitive Crow

Miss Robin {in 2 different colors}

Simple Kitty

Primitive Flowers

Sunflowers

A Basket of Spring Posies

Fat Brown Hen

Chickys Garden

Goal #8 Split and Stack 2 Cords of Wood for Next Winter

All that firewood! We sold it.

Goal #9 Do Something with the 5,002 Photos on My Phone

Currently at 2415 Back up to 2565.

Goal #10 -Lose the Muffin Top Done!

Sweet digity!

Goal #11 Run, Walk or Crawl a 5k, 10k, Half Marathon and Marathon

As long as its not pouring rain tomorrow. The Girl and I are on for the Half Marathon. Wish us luck!

Goal #12 Read or Listen to 26 New Books {21 down, 5 to go}

No new books this week but we are planning a trip to the library later this week.

Books Ive Read or Listened to So Far This Year:

Marilla of Green Gables #1 Still my favorite

The Great Alone #2

The Aviators Wife #3

Before We Were Yours #4

Secrets of a Charmed Life #5

Whered You Go, Bernadette #6

Carnegies Maid #7

The Gown #8

Unbroken #9

Drama#10

The Alice Network #11

The Shape of Mercy #12

Wills Red Coat #13

Big Little Lies #14

Mr. Churchills Secretary

Born to Run

I Feel Bad About My Neck

Bunny Mellon {Doesnt count because it was my second time}

On Writing {Doesnt count because it was my third time}

Walden

Finders Keepers

Delicious!

50 Things to Do in Maine Before You Die

Following Atticus

Goal #13 Try 52 New Recipes.

39 down, 13 recipes to go. We tried 2 new recipes this week. 1 was a dud and the other I will share on Tuesday. And its a good one!

Goal #14 Clean Up 52 Old Recipes on the Blog

9 down, 44 to go. Why did I make this goal? Note to self: Make fewer goals for next year.

Goal #15 Fill 100 Canning Jars 72 down, 28 to go.

I made a batch of Christmas Jam for gift giving PLUS I tried a new recipe {that was inspired by Mrs. HB} this past week and the HH and I loved it so much, that Ill be making another batch {or maybe 2} of it today {Ill share the recipe on Tuesday}.

So far this year Ive I canned:

9 Jars of..

6 jars Christmas Jam

7 jars Spiced Pomegranate Jelly

7 jars Peach Jam

7 jars of Strawberry Jam

15 jars of Carrot Cake Jam

15 jars of Spiced Pear Jam

4 jars of Almond Pears.

Goal #16 Finish Furnishing Our House

We finished the roman shades for the kitchen nook and kitchen window. I plan on taking a break from making roman shades for the next month so I can finish making kits for my Etsy shop and paint out the entire kitchen area as well as finish a couple of art projects for the walls.

Goal #17 52 Dates with the HH {44 down, 8 to go}

The HH and I went on 2 date days this past week and one of them was to the Sabbathday Lake Shaker Village for their Shaker Christmas Fair and it was so overwhelming, we left after 5 minutes.

Overwhelming in the sense that although we could tell there was going to be a lot of people at the event by the distance we had to walk to the village, what we werent expecting was that once we walked in the doors of the trustees office {where the craft fair was being held}, it was SHOULDER to SHOULDER.

Like, being at a rock concert crowded. The HH didnt even make it 2 feet in before walking out and it took me nearly 5 minutes to get from the entrance and through 3 rooms and back out the door again without even being able to look or pick up anything it was so crowded. It was nuts. And totally not in the calm, welcoming Shaker spirit and all we wanted to do was leave. And so we did.

I do want to go back though at some point to visit the museum, but it will have to be an ordinary weekday with nothing on the event calendar, thats for sure.

Goal #18 Take One Adult Education Class Done {Ive taken 3!}

Block Printing Class with my neighbor.

Spoon Carving Classwith Heather.

Mini pottery lesson {I loved it! and now I want to sign up for a full class}

Goal #19 Secret Holiday Project{s}

Block print towels

Seed packet wreaths

Tea Bag Trees

Goal #20 Create 12 Wowie Zowie Party Platters

8 down, 4 to go. We are planning on making #9 tonight!

Goal #21 Visit 12 General Stores

10 down 2 to go. We visited a new country store yesterday!! The kind that offers human made {and local} baskets to customers to do their shopping with. Ill tell you all about it next week.

H.B. Provisions in Kennebunk, Maine

Chases Daily {I think it should count}

Squam Lake Marketplace

Harrisville General Store

Dodges Store in New Boston, New Hampshire

Zebs General Store in North Conway, New Hampshire

Dan and Whits in Norwich, Vermont

Husseys General Store in Windsor, Maine

Goal #22 Compete with Carole.. Get on My Front Door Game On

Would you believe not a single person walking by {or even a neighbor} has made a comment about the leg lamp in the window? I think theyre showing restraint, while my husband keeps telling me that they are in such awe of it, they just dont know what to say.

Ummmm Okay.

Front Door Bling Ive Made So Far This Year to Compete with Carole:

Late January : Valentine Heart

Late February : Shamrock

Late March : Giant Carrot

May: White wave petunia hanging basket

June/July: Tin Star and Flag Bunting

August : Sunflower

September: Indian corn and pumpkins

October: Pumpkins and spinner do hickeys

November: Indian corn and big pumpkins

December: Leg lamp and nutcrackers in the window and giant Christmas balls on the porch

**************

How about YOU? What are your goals for 2019? If you told us about them HERE, check in! We want to know how you are doing. Because seriously, its so much easier to get those goals checked off your list when you have people rooting for you!

Have a great day everyone,

Mavis

P.S. If you are looking for a last minute gift for neighbor or a friend, I still have a few ornaments left in my Etsy shop and you can find them all HERE. UPDATE: The barred rock chicken is sold out but there are a few more chicken ornaments HERE.

You can read more about my 22 goals for 2019 HERE.

Have a Great Day!

The post My 22 Goals for 2019 Week 49 of 52 appeared first on One Hundred Dollars a Month.

This content was original published at One Hundred Dollars a Month and is copyrighted material. If you are reading this on another website it is being published without consent.

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My 22 Goals for 2019 Week 48 of 52

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Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/my-22-goals-for-2019-week-49-of-52

[28dayslater]

a while ago you posted your eyeshadow collection - would you ever do some quick reviews/summaries of what you think of them all? it's a really neat collection and I was thinking of getting some so would be curious to see what you thought of them! thank you and love you xxxx

gonna shove this under a cut

first things first im not even gonna touch all the fake shit i have from ebay bc the quality varies so wildly

zoeva en taupe and matte: love these!! affordable, soft, pretty colours- my only beef is some of the shades arent super pigmented but ooth they are buildable. en taupe is my everyday palette bc the colours are so easy and boring

urban decay naked 3: i used to love this?? and then i happened not to wear it for ages just by chance and i picked it up the other week and was like "wow i dont remember this being so... bad". like its not very pigmented and kind of hard to work with especially the shimmers which blend to nothing & fade super easily. but i dropped £40 on it so i cant throw it out :( its probably a good starter palette but i cant even recommend it for that bc its £££

urban decay tenant: in complete contrast to naked 3 this is MAD pigmented, the shadows are super soft, you have to like go in with a tiny amount and build it up. super bright but not like unusable bc the colours work together. side note the purple shade is terrible

too faced sweet peach: BIG FAN, i love the formula, its like perfectly in between the extremes of "so boring i never want to use it" and "so bright i can never use it unless its for a fancy dress party". also im obsessed w the shade luscious it is BEAUTIFUL. stephanie nicole was WRONG on this one

mac dusky rose times nine: this is another one i remember being better than it is, i used to wear it all the time but i tried it for the first time in a while and it was shite lol, it just all blends together and looks muddy

smashbox cover shot (bold): this was sold out bc it was limited edition so i had to get someone elses off ebay & i actually havent got around to using it yet but it swatches really nicely and the colours are SO bomb. however it is really really little and you dont get a lot for the price

kat von d pastel goth: love this! the shadows are really soft and pigmented i just wish it was more usable really bc theres only so many looks you can do with a full palette of pastels

morphe 12nb: i dont like morphes 35 shade palettes, that is TOO MANY, its stupid, but the 12 pan ones are a winnner for me. super cheap i got it for like £12. shades are neutral browns but theyre not too boring, and theyre really soft and pigmented and blendable, if youre looking to get into eyeshadow this is a good place to start

revolution essential mattes 2: nice boring colours to use in the crease or whatever if youre using something bright on the lid, quality isnt bad but the £4 price tag elevates that to pretty good. comes with one of those stupid sponge brushes which i hate on principle

lime crime venus: i wish i liked this more :( its super pigmented and the shades are so beautiful and make for such a cohesive palette but its really powdery and i find it hard to work with bc its just SO pigmented. i love lime crime but venus just doesnt work for me and i feel guilty abt it

too faced merry macarons: this was limited edition christmas 2016 but im including it bc its the first high end makeup i ever bought, and i love it, ive heard people talk shit abt too faced holiday palettes but thats not applicable to this one bitch!!

ive also got a bunch of single shadows:

makeup geek: the og. if you hear someone talk abt eyeshadow singles they are talking about makeup geek, and thats for good reason. big shade range, not wildly expensive, pigmented and blendable, love em. i have like 5 i think

nyx: theyre pretty good, used to use them everyday back when i didnt have much makeup, and theyre very good for the price

freedom eye foils: 5 for a fiver. let that sink in. LOVE THESE they are mad pigmented and SO cheap

sugarpill: a lot more expensive but also a LOT bigger. havent had a chance to test them out much but the ones i have (poison plum, diamond eyes, frostine) are really good especially poison plum bc i think the matte shadows are sugarpills strength. gonna get more soon hopefully

i think thats everything i have pretty much? prob gonna get more soon tho bc im a goblin who cant stop spending

#asks #makeup #Anonymous

[lunarmoonacnh]

i was tagged by the amazing @unhugme

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: diet coke

2. Phone call: my mum

3. Text message: my best friend telling him goodnight 

4. Song you listened to: Michael Jackson - Pretty Young Thing bc it was on the radio 

5. Time you cried: like last night or the night before coz it was 2am and life

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone once lmao

7. Been cheated on: yup...

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no i dont think so

9. Lost someone special: yes, my great grandpa

10. Been depressed: yes, im currently seeing a therapist 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes! every time i drink unless its wine, for some reason wine doesnt make me sick. i think its because i once totally over did it on spirits and cider so not they just taste like the time i almost died and my body cant take it

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. grey

13. mint green

14. blush pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes, i started college so i made new irl friends because of that and i have also mad new internet friends through this blog 

16. Fallen out of love: kinda, depends how you look at it. i didnt know i had fallen out of love until the relationship had ended and i didnt feel as sad as i thought i would

17. Laughed until you cried: always, when i’m with my friends all i do is cry laugh 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, it happens a lot, sometimes negative and sometimes positive 

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, for good and bad. 

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes, once i left school i knew who my real friends are because they are the ones who kept in touch and the ones who didnt do other things that they knew would hurt me

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yess

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most, i dont know them all personally but i know of them all, no strangers for me

23. Do you have any pets: not at my house but we are getting our little puppy Sully in 14 days. i do have a cat and a dog at my dads house but i very rarely go visit 

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i used to want to when i was a kid because i used to get bullied because i had a ‘boys’ name (Billie) but now i like it because its unique  

25. What did you do for your last birthday: met my friends that i met on the internet that are now irl friends for a meal and to go shopping. we went for pizza and bowling and then shopping before they had to leave again:(

26. What time did you wake up: usually between 8am and 9am without an alarm 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was actually sleeping for once if not i was watching youtube videos

28. Name something you cannot wait for: to get my puppy and to meet up with and have a party with my internet/irl friends again in summer

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 15 minuets ago befroe i came upstairs to do this

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i could control my anxiety and depression or even not have it at all. i also wish my dad would pay me more attention and want to see me more because i miss him and its almost like he forgets i was his first kind before he mt his new wife

31. What are you listening to right now: the 1975

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i mean i have a cousin name Thomas? but never someone just called Tom without it being shortened 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: life? no but like the fact that im not allowing myself to do the things i want to do out of pure fear

34. Most visited website: Tumblr of course... it is never off my browser 

35. Elementary: ive honestly never wanted to go back to a time in my life more than i want to go back to elementary/primary school 

36. High School: no thanks to that. i wish i could have been one of the people that called it the best years of their lives not 5 years of asshole bullying me 

37. College/university: im commenting on this as England college (16-18 year olds) and ive just dropped out of one part (sixth from) where i was taking 3 subjects Media studies and Film studies which i loved and will miss and Psychology wich i did love but wont miss because i couldnt do it and it made my anxiety sky rocket. in september i start a makeup course and i am so excieted to be a qualified makeup artist this time next year

38. Hair colour: mousy brown

39. Long or short hair: long, like almost to my butt long (yes its natural)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, but i could never pursue it bc he is my friend and i wouldnt want to ruin that. ive made that mistake with my ex.

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes. they are grey and kinda ombre like they hae a really dark ring on the outside and they get lighter closer to my pupil

42. Piercings: yes, my first and second lobes on both ears, my helix and forward helix on my left ear. half way up my ear and my rook on my right ear and then my nose 

43. Blood type: i have no idea, do people actually know this?

44. Nickname: Bil and B although i dont like B (pronounced like Bee) but its what my cousins have called my since i was really small so it doesnt bother me that much with them 

45. Relationship status: extremely single

46. Zodiac sign: Aquarius 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: pretty little liars, it has just finished and now i am re watching it to find clues about A that i missed 

49. Tattoos: no, but i have a couple planned 

50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST… 51. Surgery: teeth removed they are the only ops ive ever had and will ever have to have touch wood

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: i danced as a majorette does that count?

55. Vacation: i honestly have no idea, i think i went to Devon though (its a place in the UK) all i know is my first holiday was during 9/11 

56. Pair of trainers: probably like Nike Airs or something Adidas i have no idea 

57. Eating: i actually know this bc my older cousin fed me a wham bar (a british, i think, chewy candy thing) when i was 3 week old, so i could have died the ifrst time i hate lmao

58. Drinking: i was 14, i know i shouldnt have been drinking because my mum made me promise her i wouldnt, but i remember being so drunk (idk if it was real or faked tbh) on alcopop thats right 4% alcohol and i probs had like 3 

59. I’m about to: go get my cousins baby off his Nan so she can get his older brother from nursery

60. Listening to: idk if this is like asking the same as earlier? coz if so t]still the 1975

61. Waiting for: my friend to reply to me an tell me when he is taking me for coffee 

62. Want: my dog

63. Get married: probs idk

64. Career: i dont have one rn but hopefully a makeup artist

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: rn hugs i need to hug someone while i fall to sleep so bad its been so long 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc im also tall so i need someone taller than me (i dont need but i like a partner to be tall)

68. Older or younger: older, people y age are immature so any younger and i may as well spend my time with a 10 year old

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i dont mind tbh

71. Sensitive or loud: both? not too loud though ya girl has sensitive ears 

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, im demisexual (it took me 17 years to figure that out) so hook ups aren’t my thing

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends because i tend to be the cause of arguments and things because im honest but im not out there to cause trouble i just dont like to lie

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: no

75. Drank hard liquor?: yes, dont do it, its bad kids

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes, i lose my glasses all the goddamn time

77. Turned someone down: yes, i always feel bad but you cant force feelings

78. Sex on first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of, i doubt it though

80. Had your heart broken: yes, again not fun

81. Been arrested: nooo

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: not always

85. Miracles: yes, the baby i spoke about earlier? yeah hes my miracle, he was born with a new strain of meningitis, he has had 3 lots of brain surgery (at a week old) and the doctors said it was a very low chance he would survive. he did 3 times. his heart also stopped 3 times, again he is here. he also had multiple surgeries on his joints, we got told he wouldnt walk but here he is at 16 months running around like a crazy person and loving life with his older brother  

86. Love at first sight: i mean no, how can you fall in love with someone based off their face (no matter how many cute people you see on the street that you think you love, you probably dont)

87. Santa Claus: hes real in my house

88. Kiss on the first date: ive never been on a proper date so

89. Angels: yeah, i really love t believe in thse things because its cute

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: im not saying their name coz idk if thats a good idea tbh

91. Eye colour: greyyy

92. Favourite movie: Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland i just love his aesthetic and the story of Alice so put them together and you have a winner

ok i dont have 25 people to tag but i do tag @theflowerkingdom @kinkylildanny @creepyphantasia @imjustacanforallthephantrash and @dead-nightingale 

if you are reading this and you want to do it, go for it and just say i tagged you!

#danielhowellsbooty

[skiasurveys]

got this from bzoink LMAO.

All About My Boyfriend survey

How did it all begin...?

Where did you meet?- we met on Okcupid. a dating app.

When did you meet? -In person was Oct 3 2015.

Was it love at first sight?-No, but like 1 hour into the first date I was like wow i like him alot

how old were you both?- He was 25 and I was 18 at the time.

When did you have your first kiss? - First date, after dinner i went to his house to hang out more he asked to kiss me and so i did <3

Where was your first date?- It was at the college- we went to a supersmash bros club ahah and then the noodle house, then i went to his house to hang out and watch some youtube videosss.

How long until you met the parents?- I met his mom 2 weeks later. He met my mom pretty quick.

When was it 'official'?- Ok. Heres the trippy Part. we dated for one month, broke up, didnt really talk for a while, 5 months later we start to talk again, a month after that we started to date again and made it offical on May 10th 2016. That is our anniversary.

The good...

Whats your happiest memory of him?- Theres so many. Theres the time when we stayed up all night just talking about our future, theres when we told me he loved me so much, when he held me because i had a panic attack..

Whats the sweetist thing he has ever done for you?- slept behind a friends couch for 7 months because he didnt want to move away from me. ( we couldnt get  aplace)

Does he buy you lots of gifts?- No, but I am fine with that, I dont like gifts actually. I rather him tell me he loves me and spend time with me.

Whats your favorite thing to do together?- honestly. stay up all night and get deep.

When did you know you were falling in love?- when he told me I was his best friend.

Who said 'I love you' first?- Me

Is it true love?- I think so.

How do you know this?- Never felt like this before. 

The bad...

Whats his worst habit?- Not texting me back, but really hes gettings pissed at the dumbest shit ever, and hes really bad at plan making and especially when I pick him up..ill say “Ill be there at 5 PM” and his bitchass will be sleeping at 4:30

What annoys you about him?- when he talks really loud at 3 am when I was sleep, and his texting back skills.

Has he ever hurt you badly?- we did get into a fight where we hurt eachother really bad. ( emotionally).

Would he ever cheat?-No. 

Has he to your knowlege ever cheated?- No he hasnt. I know he wouldnt cause I just know that if he found someone else he would just dump me

Do you trust him?- I dooo

The ugly....

Best facial feature?- his entire face

Favorite part of his body?- his strong arms <3

Hair colour?- Brown 

What does he smell of?- I dont know how to explain it

Whats he wearing when you picture him in your head?- Black tshirt ?

Intimacy...

How do you feel when he holds you?- I feel safe.

How do you feel when you fall asleep and wake up in his arms?- Happy

How does it feel when he touches you?- depends ;)

Does his touch give you goose bumps?- it can

Does he kiss your neck?- Mmmhmm thats the best shit everrr.

Your tummy?- I like it.

Your forehead? It makes me feel loved idk why

Deep and meaningfull...

Could you be without him?- I dont think so.

Do you think about him constantly when your apart?- i am always thinking about him to the point where i get mad at myself cus im like bitchhhh

How long have you been together? 1 year and 2 months

Can you see a future together?- I can

Would you like to get married?- Yeah in the future. 

Have children?- No. I dont want kids, nor does he

Where can you see your relationship in a years time?- I see us having a nice apartment, and im in school and he has a good job. It depends. 

5 years time? Nice apartment. I dont think we will be in the same city, we are planning on moving cause his dad wants to do some buisness thing with him. Id be done school probably just starting my career. 

Do you know there is definatly no-one better out there for you?- Yeah, he just suits me so perfectly.

How do you know this? I dont.

Are you scared he might find someone better? I always am. But i guess the best thing to do is be the best that I can at this moment and trust him

Is he your best friend as well as your lover?- yes

Does he come first over everyone else in your life?- No, I dont like to do that boyfriend over family/friends. I like to see my friends and hang with my family but I do know when i need to spend time with Him. I would only choose him over them if it was  a serious thing, but if it wasnt he could wait.

Would you die for him? sure..but why am i dying

On a lighter note...

Whats the funniest thing you have ever done together?- theres too many things.

Say something that only you two understand- Best NA Heals.

Do you have nick names for each other? eh not rly.

Does he make you laugh? of course

Do you wrestle? sometimes. i usually do this tho cus for him to get on top lol..

Is he tickelish? yeah but im more.

Are you? ^

His Favorites...

Food? meat of all kind

Drink? water but i think mountain dew too lol

Sport? football? idk he doesn twatch sports.

Past time? Video games

Animal? cats

Aftershave? ??? he lieks to have a beard i think

Clothing style? He just wears tshirt and jeans. he doesnt care about clothes...

Band? Queen i think lmao He isnt huge into music like i am

Music? He likes classic rock, and techno/anime music lmao

Your 'things'....

Song? I cant help falling in love and wish u were here.

DVD? we dont own dvds 

Place to hang out? my house or colins 

Meal to cook together?- anything

Lasts...

Time you saw him? tuesday :( but i see him tomorrow.

Kissed him? Tuesday :((

Spoke to him? Just like an hour ago 

The last text he sent you? an hour ago

When will you...

See him again? tomorrow night

Speak to him again?- either tonight or tomorrow morning/day whenever

Tell him you love him again? maybe tomorrow. we dont say i love you just randomly, i personally dont cause i like it to be personal.

Have you ever? 

Spent the night together?- Of course. when he comes over he spends like 2-3 nights.

Been on holiday? No, but i kind of want to!

Met his parents? Yes. Just not his biological dad cus he lives far away

Had naughty time?- duh

Made him cry?- I think so by accident. i feel awful

Done anything spontaneous together?- yes

Lastly....

Is this love? durrr.

[nadinesha]

Slowly but surely.

We call it quit. We cant go any further. Me and my ex have decided to make a move, in seperate way. Its me. I am the one who force him to live on his own by the day and forward. I have been thinking about it before we even had the fight. I believe you have heard a phase that say “the more you stay, the more you learn. the more you say, the more it burn.” So i know it was the best time to make everything done on dot. By the same time, i never thought of looking for anyone to replace my ex but i know that i need someone to make me feel better, talk with me everyday, ask me questions and tell me answers. It just a way to keep me busy from thinking on the decision i have made. Yup , i met this one guy thru tinder (well its 2016, cant say that its not legit to meet anyone thru online ahhahaha) plumpy and yup he was doing as what per i was hoping from a person . Text me everyday, get know of each other. Yah still my ex tried to ask me to change my mind, keep my track back to his and blabla. But i dont know what makes me strong to decide to not ever walk back to my ex. I am still with my decision to keep what i want as my priority , no more considering on others’ opinions and favors. After 1 month texting, me and this new guy decided to meet , no more online texting. This friendship has to be real. All along the one month , we only exchange picture once and the rest was only on phone call. (His voice is too good to hate) so on the day i meet the girls, we decided to meet at Grind22 Cafe, Bangsar. At least i have my girls to accompany me meeting this half stranger half friend guy of mine. The day went well, on the first time i meet him, he was wearing a nice faded grey folded sleeve tshirt with dark blue levi’s jeans. Tried to make myself chill during the date, thanks god i have my girls around so theres no such awkward situation happened or odd topics out on our conversation. I can still remember how he only look 2 seconds on me whenever i stare to his eyes. Its my way when having a talk with anyone. Always keep my eyes look straight deep in the person eyes so obviously he wasn’t comfortable with the eyes contact but its fun to see that kind of reaction from him. I can see he was freaking nervous abt the date. I was sitting next to him. After a couple hour, i grab his hand as it was very close to my hands, it isnt a sign of flirting. I just wanted him to know that dont get way too nervous, we are fine. I like you. This is not going to be the first and the last time you will see me. He grab my hand back as a way to say that he is completely relieved to see that i am accepting him as well. After days, on 12/11/16 , in his car, around 7.15pm, the sky wasnt yet dark but you can see the moon start to glowing alone in the sky. The sunset light still helping me to see his face. He called my full name and i was suprised as he continues his sentence with something i didnt expect. “Would you be my girlfriend?” OHMYGOD my heart was dropping but fortunately i was not fainted or died on that time, i hug his hand tightly and said “of course i do ! i love you !” Can see from his face that he was yup again , relieved. But as the time pass by, we get into couple of fights and oftenly, compare him with my ex. Theres a thing that he doesn’t have as what i had from my ex. My ex is very superb in looking. Trust me even gayboy also become a threat during our relationship. But this new guy, he have that cute looking face but not as cute as my ex. Whenever that comparing things come thru my mind, i always like fight with my inner self to not ever overshadow a person 99% positivity with a 1% negativity and stop loving a person by his look. Stop qusha stop. But still , this judgmental thinking cant avoid from comparing that 1% shit with my ex. Time after time, i am getting to know my boyfriend more and more. I learn that he is a family person, how much he wanted to have a family of his own. How much he wanted to have a baby and learn how to take care on a baby. He love animals as much as i do. He love to eat as much as i do. He even have love on me but he have so much than i do. it isnt because i hate him or whatever but after 3 years dating with my ex, i realize that its not easy to forget a person you have love with all you have. it isnt easy. Because in my mind i still thinking about my ex. i dont love him anymore but it doesnt mean everything has faded away. Sometime i ask my self if i really regret on my decision but i know time has flies. There is no such as turning back or else because my ex ard with a new girl and that girl was his ex before me and we had several time fight just because of that bitch and knowing that he with that bitch again literally mess my mind for almost a week. And by the time , i believe my bf can see it clearly based on things i have tweeted and shared in twitter. Thinking about it now how much he in pain patiently wait for me to slowly stop thinking about my ex makes me want to kill myself now. A good and kind man like him shudnt face with such of that stupid situation. Everything back to normal, and i was no longer in that freaking dilemma , we date more , share things more . Slowly i realize , my ex only have that 1% while him, he has the other 99% of what iw anted in a guy , in a person i wanted to be my forever, why can i be grateful this time. I learn that looks come after love. We had a very lovely dating days . I started to love looking on every inch and details on his face. its not about having a person who attract others to look but its about a person who attract you to look at him. its about a person who always give the best that he has in his life , a person who plan eveything for you and your future kids. its about a person who always making sure you are safe and always in the comfort zone of anything. A person who dare to bring you to meet his mom and let his family learn more about you , learn that this is why you were choosen to be his wife. its about him, and its about you. A person who willing to spend his money, time and effort just to suprise you even it just a small bag but think again how much he become very precise in everything you like, take note on things you wish you have. its about a person who stand on your side and always at your back. support on everything you wanted to do. always listen and fix everything that seems unsolvable. Everything seems so perfect. How much I wish my kids will have the same eyes as he has when he smile. how much i wish my kids will have a daddy like him. after all this time, i realize that he has what it takes to be my besfriend, boyfriend, partner, husband and father to my kids. he have everything insde him and its valuable. i will never let him go or let myself miss a guy like him. Like everything ! After the drama things, we plan for a holiday. Which i hope can fix all my stupid thoughts and attitude and try to make our relay better and stronger. Yup , it happened . The holiday went so well. by the time before departure, we were talking about food and suddenly i have to excuse myself to go to the toilet . i really dont think about anything as i came back to the seat, we were talking about our luggage when i decided to open my bag and show him how full it is but then i saw theres a polaroid bag inside my bag. i ard have one, and its on the table and he bought that for me. i ask my friend if she put her polaroid bag in mind but she said its not her bag. my boyfriend, he keep silent beside me . i ask him if he bought that for me , he said no. i asked my friend once again. she strongly said no its not her. i push my bf to tell the truth then he said , yup he bought the second bag for me. i was suprised again because i only have one polaroid camera, and why are you buying me a second bag ? he said by the time he purchased the bag , he remembered that i wanted the black colour bag but the shipping is too long to wait , it might arrive after the holiday date so he bought be the first bag in brown colour. he suprised me the first bag a week before the holiday and i was happy already because i love the brown colour as well. but then he knows my wishes is still not complete so he decided to buy the black bag for the second time and hoping that we will receive before the holiday and yup , it just arrived a day before the holiday. he want me to have the black beg no matter what . so that is how i can have two polaroid bag today. during the holiday,  i only have my phone with me just for taking pictures and on the rest of the time , i spend with him. We go to the beach together and walk by the shore . Spend the night together with cups of juice, under starry night sky. We went for food hunting together. we eat burgers, fries, seafood, we even had the best sambal belacan, we had kacang rebus, special milkshakes, chicken wings. The holiday has really change me into a new me. i have never believe that one day i will be as confident as i am today in a person who will completely become as a part of me. Everytime i look into his eyes , i can feel the butterly is now in me. He looks calm but i know i am not. he now can look back on me and its more than 5 minutes. My heart beating so fast, everytime . Because i know , i am looking on a person i am deadly in love . Deadly . He have that smile i love to see , his eyes is so shining so cute with the nice smiling eyes looking whenever he smile thru my camera . His smell , oh my god . His teeth is the what makes his smile even sweeter. I am going to lick that teeth i swear. his arm, that is where a girl like me shud be. his leg, yup this is suprising. he can carry me, let me sit on his lap with only one leg holding my whole body weight. that is impressing. he is so strong. yup physically and mentally strong . what a boy. no more doubt. i have no more doubt on him. he has to be mine forever. i never this crazy about my boyfriend. Tbh i have no more care on my ex. he has no idea how much i am in love with my life now. it better than i expect . there is no wrong in my decision and i am glad that i have done it . I have this few things of my ex belonging with me, thought of returning all his things back . I have decided to not to because is such a wasting time and money. I CAN BUY LIPSTICK instead … Yup , i love you Ahmad Aisar . Thanks. xoxo Qusha.

[gtforubie]

i dont get it

i dont get why everything is so unfair.

yeah i live an average life, im not super skinny nor overweight, im not beautiful but i am not ugly, my family isnt poor but we arent wealthy, i go to a normal school, my family occsionally travels.

but i hang with the rich, the kids who can afford a new laptop the moment they break their last one or the kids who get the new iphone every year when one is realeased. 

these kids all have baches or they travel every term holidays.

these kids are able to afford to go to private school, $25,000 a year ever since they were young. well obvisouly its not the kids who can afford it, its the parents or the grandparents who pay for it.

all these kids grew up skinny, not worrying about weight gain because their parents invested into their sports and wanted them to become the best at them so they can achieve in athletics and get scholarships.

like you know, i play sports, but im not the best yet im not the worst. im just a filler, i get benched but i also get game time.

there are days where i wish my family had wealth, not worrying about this months bills or if we can afford this and that.

its unfair, i dont get it.

these kids were blessed into a life filled with wealth and luxury. yet they dont fucking realise it and take it for granted because its their ‘normal’

i would dream to go to the private school all my friends go to,, but it ranks upto over $35,000 a fucking year. thats over $100,000 worth in fees for my 3 years left of highschool? how pathetic is that. i mean it does have some of the best education in the country apparently or my city but still that much money? 

i do feel embarassed of my house sometimes, my family, my items, clothes and everything. you know its hard being friends with the wealthy kids because they always want to go out and get food.

for parties when it comes to them they like to be classy, only have people who go to a private school or who are in their group. i am but im also not apart of that group. i think i need to manifest it to be honest, its hard to get into that group because they are so selective but right now they are my only friends and they are involved and interested in the same stuff as me. 

i leave from friday-sunday every week to hang with my friends since they all live so far from me, i live in the ‘dodgy’ area and no one wants to come out here. i can see why to be honest, i would be the same if i was them. they all live in 2-8 million dollar homes with pools, game rooms, at home theatres and all of that rich people shit. 

i mean if i had that money i would live in a house like that, go to that private school and have the items they all have.

going back to the whole party shit, pres. omg pres. well you must supply a house for a 1-2 hour pre party drinking, you must supply food ( preferably 3 sals pizzas ) which one adds upto $50 so youre basically spending $150, along with drinks. some parents love to just spend the extra and give us two boxes which is another $50 so yeah $200 for a pres? wow. its quite alot i mean thats how much the weekly food shopping would be in my house. 

ive noticed that the richer the families are the more chill the parents are. im not too sure why but my friends were talking about how their parents are letting them have 6 drinks at a party ( 4.8% ) so that ranks upto a good 28.8% of alcohol entering their body for the night. my parents being the middle class anxiety filled family let me have 2! so you can imagine what i do, get drinks from others, hit up my alcohol plugs because two drinks does jak shit. like pretty boring if you ask me. 

you know i would love to have a solid friend group, i mean i do but i dont. i dont understanding anything about this whole friend group situation honestly, it makes no sense. my best friend frankie seems like she doesnt want me to hang with her group but im really close with so many of them and hang with them every weekend. like if i didnt know any of them then i wouldnt have any fucking friends, which yeah is really depressing because i wish i had more friends.

my life is average on top of average, like im popular but at the same time im not. i dont just have one best friend i have multiple close friends but choose to tell certain people certain things because i know who to go to about certain stuff. like boy advice? frankie or char. deep life talks? paris, cinzia and char. like i dont know i just know who will react best and stuff. i am selective of my friends and i know the type of people i get along with quickly. 

yeah i dont know this life is confusing. 

[hoteyelinerguy]

do all also 🤪

1. favourite place in your country?

my bedroom with my dogs but also the great ocean road was real pretty

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad?

idkkk i LOVE travelling abroad but its,,, so expensive when i can just go to a different state

3. does your country have access to sea?

yeeHAW babie we grow up in the ocean

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

every "dish” that i can think of is technically kiwi so im gonna stick with chewy caramel timtams

5. favourite song in your native language?

i speak english and only english rip

6. most hated song in your native language?

again no native language to hate

7. three words from your native language that you like the most?

still a white english speaking bitch

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

i mean.... not really

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best?

australia doesnt know what neighbouring country means

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

c*nt is classic aussie

11. favourite native writer/poet?

hi im uncultured and the only one i can think of is banjo paterson who. is definitely not worthy of this title

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem?

english speaking bastard right here

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

my fam are real fuckoff believers in ghosts and spirits and stuff so we have some things to. not get haunted but i dont think thats That Weird 

actually i just came back to this- we have very insulting songs that we sing to people on their birthday after singing happy birthday. i didnt realise this was only a local thing but yeet on asshole traditions

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?

aint nothin like a good week of Neighbours omg

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

our stable government

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

we’re all assholes and swear a fucktonne like its tru but yall dont have to call me out on it 

tbh tho i disagree with the stereotype that we’re all like? rlly friendly and welcoming?? i feel like thats something americans expect coming to aus but we’re actually all assholes im sorry but its true

17. are you interested in your country’s history?

Yes very much 

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

no

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem?

the aussie coat of arms is fun. i dont have much opinion on the flag but i highkey wish the national anthem reflected the country more EXAMPLE everyones racist actually

20. which sport is The Sport in your country?

i mean..... cricket? or football??? or rugby??? idr which one is the Big One

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

a shoe and some goon

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?

the fucking racism and xenophobia all while acting like this country is a multicultural haven who welcomes people from anywhere :////// idk theres not much that makes me proud of this place lately

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country?

i wouldnt say favoured but we all love a good Goon Bag

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country?

im going with genuine jokes and not badly disguised xenophobia we mock brits like u would not believe 

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country?

i always think about this but tbh no i have it pretty good and i wish i lived closer to other countries but i also value not having rabies

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

its not /bad/ but yall are SHIT at our accents SHiT absolutely fucking AWFUL

27. favourite national celebrity?

mr hemsworth sir mr thor, leader of lesbians

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?

we have a lot of everything seeing as we’re so big uhm. i like the lakes that turn pink

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

i dont,, think so.... my state has some big beef with qld but thats just when the sports games are on

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family?

nope

#me not knowing sport #is it rugby or footie or the other one #the NSW vs QLD one #im so STUPID #ask

[dy1kjxxa-blog]

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