#and i think that's it for this vent. im tired and i want to sleep it all off. for it'll help to ease the feelings even if just a little

[sad-leon]

Actually, Y'all can see these as well

Based off @/xinrouska's dtiys on Instagram (i dont know if they're chill being tagged over here)

I am obsessed with their villain Leo (and artstyle in general) and am going slightly feral for it lol

#sad•leonart #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise donatello #rise donnie #rise leo #rise leonardo #i think... i might put that 2al animatic i have cooking to the side for a bit #...... maybe...... #ive just been so tired and angry and i dont know why but i hate ut #actually scratxh that #i do know why but im not giving in #anyways- take these goofy guys and im gonna go read and sleep before i vent and overshare on tumblr dot com #it was very experimentive for me #i dont think thats the word i was looking for but itll do #i was gonna do greyscale like the origin but i wanted to add colors #i did a stupid layer thing that got rid of the colors in their clothes but oh well #by the time i notuced it was too late to fix it

[bruciemilf]

let me give you biiiig hug you look like you need it 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

Tyyy

#just one of those days yk #i cant study i cant draw i cant watch YouTube i cant watch movies. no song is satisfying and just tires me out #everything tastes gross and i don't want to eat but ik i have to or ill be more irritable #its too hot its too cold i want to cry i cant cry #i want to sleep i wanna talk to ppl i dont want to talk to anyone bc im so mentally maxxed out #idk i think its seasonal burnout. sucks that it happened a week right before my exam but oh whale #only the 4th time i fail #i will tell you i dont have the nerve to off myself. but if i could hire someone to swiftly shoot me in the head #i would do it TODAY. fuck. like life is worth living but im just so grossed out #not dc #vent #depressive episodes fucking suck

[stupidscav]

rest

#small thing i did. im tired but my body does not want to sleep #up til 4am again? right on #its hard to think a little bit; i keep feeling upset at myself #and then upset at myself for being upset at myself #and it just repeats #so i guess i need some #rest #am i really in pain or am i just not trying hard enough? #scav feels shitty #vent #but only slightly #rain world #artificer

[27-royal-teas]

hey uhhh immune system what the fuck dude you’ve been failing me for fucking months. do your job bitch

#i got covid in august and have just Not Really Recovered since #i was JUST SICK and now i feel like im getting sick AGAIN my nose won’t stop running and I can’t breathe I feel horrible #my head hurts my throat hurts I want to sleep and never wake up again #I feel like my thoughts are transmitting through cotton balls #im going to be insanely busy from now until. uh. march #so if I can last until march without getting sick I will be GOLDEN #don’t think im gonna last that long though #half my family has the flu rn #but UGHHHH #ive got SEVERAL PERFORMANCES TO DO!!!! ive got FRIENDS TO MEET WITH!!! Stuff to do!!!! I don’t have time to get sick!!! #im super behind on schoolwork and I need to learn 5 dances and write these stupid fucking fics that aren’t writing themselves #I just want to feel BETTER. please. fuck. I want to breathe in through my nose and actually have the air pass through #I want to swallow and not feel like my throat is being stabbed. I want my head to stop hurting #Im so tired of being sick its been months please #vent kinda

[artheresy]

I decided to try the general public sale today instead of immediately going to the resale tickets for Miku expo and literally... within three minutes of it opening, SOLD OUT and with the way the count was going down, it was so clear that so many of the "buyers" were just bots and I'm so... I'm so tired

I hate ticketmaster so goddamn much

#I ended up buying those stubhub tickets #Luckily found a good set of seats that were less than 100 dollars #Which Jesus christ so many were over 100 dollars when the seats not the standing room was 39-40 #Miku may be popular #But she is not really mainstream #Certainly not mainstream enough to justify charging ALMOST 200 DOLLARS for the seats furthest from the stage #Like a lot of these people reselling them I think need someone to knock some sense into them #It's like they want to lose money #Sorry im just so mad first thing in the morning #I'm so tired #I tried a few days ago with the local pre-sale and the insanity of it selling out that fast literally made me breakdown in tears #Ticketmaster GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!! #I wish I could go back to sleep #vent post

[just-a-mod]

i'm tired

#justaart #justavent #justaventart #art #ventart #vent #there is no snow #it doesnt feel cold #everything is wrong and bad and i am in pain in pretty much every checkbox possible #im so sad that today feels no different #im so sad about life at large #there is so very little good in my brain and around and in the world and im so burned out man #im so tired #i want things to be better and i dont know if better exists #i just need to sleep but nothing will change when i wake up #please for the love of some gods let things get better in a way for people #i can tread water just #pelase for the love of something good give some kind of light for or wretched fucking future #it's christmas and it feels like nothing #and all i can think of is the christmases of my childhood #that doesnt exist any more and that has disheartened me so violently that i dont want to be a person any more #i just miss snow man #i miss trees (even fake ones) #i miss people #im tired and there is a cat and a neos and im gonna try to curl up with them

[emlos]

sorry i feel like my brain is kind of untethered to the rest of me

like im thinking from above

#also everything has been so exhausting and my binge eating finally caught uo to me so i can't look at myself in the mirror and #i dont fit half my clothes and my rooms a fucking mess and i literally eat 7000+ calories a day cause i cant stop myself and #i smoke too much and im genuinely doing something wrong with ny hands and #well #at least ive been sober two days #but still #how tf do i suppress my appetite at this point i can't stop myself from going to The fridge/ordering food whenever i think about it #and im too fucking dumb to just #eat normally #and i wish i would kill myself or just hurt myself #but even thinking about it is too exhausting #im just. so physically tired #i dont ever want to gwt out of bed #i just want to sleep #sorry #i guess im doing worse than i thouhgt #time to go smoke and gonto sleep hopefully #vent

[ablednt]

NPD BPD combo will make you feel like a starving wild circus animal every time you remember other people exist

#ok to rb #vent tw #it's like. we have a member who has NPD proper as cohost now #so our BPD and NPD symptoms have been combined into one worse thing #and it's baby's first Real Narc Crash and Ive been having RSD inflicted panic attacks every day #and I'm getting really fucking exhausted so the point where Im thinking stuff like 'I wish I could kms rn but that'd be too shitty and I #know this shit has to get better eventually because it has before so Im just #trying to relax #and in this case it's not like I have imo a compelling reason like my friends are all paying a proportionate amount of attention to me #to the energy for friends they have to give like I'm not being NEGLECTED #but I am so attention starved it's actually insane #and if it were just that itd be fine but I'm pmsing and Ive been losing sleep #from a mix of medical issues and exotraumatic nightmares #so I'm just. I'm absolutely Fucking Miserable #and its nobodies fault so instead of getting pissed off at someone Im just pissed off at everyone and no one at the same time #I just want to feel special again but its like. even if I DID feel comfortable asking for more attention #1. It wouldn't feel genuine and nothing my friends could easily do would stop it from not feeling genuine #2. I've been cluster B long enough to know that this stuff has to sort itself out naturally #asking for vallidation can be good at the right times but when I'm wanting to rely on it most thats when I need to find something else #but genuinely IDFK anymore man like I'm too tired to do shit I feel like all of my energy this month has been #STOPPING myself from doing stuff so when I try and think about what I actually Want To Do I feel so obstructed and exhausted I feel like #there's nothing fulfilling rn bc my stupid ass brain is like why find joy in anything if everyone hates you and you don't matter #(<- literally no one in my life has even implied this but. that's just how mental illness goes sometimes) #I just need to hang on until this narc crash is over and my friend groups aren't in the middle of like #2 million different things we're all struggling with stopping us from hanging out very much #I do think this happens every winter though #Ironically I love the winter weather and the rain and cold and gray (idk if I have SAD but if I do it's for the summer) #but I never enjoy the season like I want to because it's the most busy time of year so everyone is stressed out and doesn't have much time #to vibe like I want to so I end up just feeling pretty miserable until the slow time of year when people can relax more #It's usually like

[faggotician]

Feeling a little troubled ...... last night (a few hrs ago ig) my nana (whom i moved in wit bc the tenant she was renting the upstairs 2 died n i needed 2 get out of a shitty roommate situation so the stars aligned etc) mentioned in passing that she was in my apt while i was gone, she mentioned she was looking 4 something bt then changed it 2 checking 2 see if i caught the bus.....i told her basicly i loved her n ment no offense bt my privacy is rly important 2 me n so could she pls not go into my pad when im not there bc it gives me anxiety (which she has also so i was tryna rel8 a lil bit) n she just kinda shut down n started feeling bad abt herself n getting upset tht i thought she wld go thru my stuff . Idk i jus had 2 put this down sumwhere n i havent gotten a new journle yet sigh

#i mean she is. Very ancient bless her in evry way shes 81 so im sure shes just . kinda losin it 4 a lack of a better way 2 put it n . Aughgg #Life is very intimid8ng n i wanna take care of her bt shes so afraid of Everything ever n its stressing her out so much she cant sleep #So then shes coming up 2 my apt (btw i dont have a key 4 my inside door so i keep it unlocked) Late as Haell like 3 4 AM #Asking me 2 sit downstairs w her till she falls asleep . N i keep giving her advice on sleeping better like . #If u sit on the couch watching tv most of the day..when u go 2 bed n do the same thing u wont get tired frm it #Or rrlaxing yr body n focusing on yr breathing Dont put the tv on if yr brain is paying attn 2 wats goin on there #Then u cant focus on sleeping . #And i ask if she understands n if shes listening bt then Every Night doesnt change how her routine is n i just Dont .. I Want 2 Help So Bad #But what can i do when ur not even listening 2 the vry basic lifestyle cuanges u Need 2 make or yr gna worry yrself sick :(((( #I dnt think impatronizing i try 2 be gentle n understanding but also like . Semi profesh like Boundaries need 2 b had if im here longterm #Bt she doesnt rlly get that bc shes Very insecure sbt herself i think she just ... Internalizes it into like #Thinking shes burdoning me or makes me feel rlly gulty 4 needing alone time i just . Idk how 2 have this talk w her cuz i feel like #I alrdy have a million times . God i do love her so so much n im scared 4 this future i just want her 2 b happy bbut #im still tryna figure out how 2 even Talk 2 Anybody let alone a very sensitive farm raised senior #Damn this is a vent post and a half #999

[sad-leon]

Forgor to clock out but already took melatonin so even if I wanted to make that 30-45 minute round trip, I couldnt ;-;

I know its not a big deal, but the anxiety doesnt know that

This why I liked swiping my badge, much harder to forget to clock out (though also much easier to forget to clock in)

#try not to forget again #:( #rambles #vent #rant #i need to get this out cuz if i dont my weekend will be shitty and i dont want it to be #wait.. maybe i can email the hr person #tbough i dont think shes in today #fuck #i really hate this #i know im gonna get the speech from whoever i talk to but it doesnt matter because I cant help it #my brain just doesnt function how it should #especially not when its my friday and ive been exhausted all fucking week #tired and angry and frustrated #imm try to sleep now and hope i feel better when i wake up #the amxiety will hopefully chill #so tired and anxious i cant type anymore #gonna stop before it devolved into anger

[technologyvoid]

I think the kitchen is empty now

#void chatter #I'm probably still not gonna go eat #i don't wanna leave my room #maybe I'll just listen to music and lurk online #i know im hungry and tired. i think the headache and stomachache can attest to that #but i neither have an appetite nor a want to sleep #I don't wanna do anything actually #I'll feel better in the morning i hope #tw vent

[butterflypistolking]

i'm burning all of my fucking notebooks tomorrow. every single one. every shitty fucking """""""""drawing""""""""" gets to go up in goddamn flames. i'm throwing away all my pens and pencils and colored pencils and everything. i want it all to burn. none of this strife is FUCKING worth it

#smoke.txt #smoke.discontinugo #vent post #'but you like drawing!!' NO I DONT. ITS THE SAME FUCKING REASON I NEVER PLAY SPLA3 ANYMORE #AND YOU ARENT GETTING IT. I DONT DO THESE THINGS ANYMORE BECAUSE I'M NOT FUCKING GOOD AT IT #'youll get better with time!!! :))))' #ITS BEEN ALMOST 20 *FUCKING* YEARS YOU'D THINK I WOULD KNOW HOW TO DRAW OR WRITE LITERALLY FUCKING *ANYTHING* OF VALUE. #im so fucking tired #im going back to sleep before i start crying like a useless fucking child #i dont want fucking anyone to see this and think 'omgggggg so relatable!!' #i'll crush your throat with my bare fucking hands.

[frecklystars]

today was way too overwhelming... it didnt feel like a day off at all 😔

#vent #my irl friends roped me in the middle of their fight and i refused to comment on any of it #bc i dont want to pick sides theyre both my friends #and then my dad and i got into a fight and he yelled over me like he always does #just out of nowhere he blows up at me and wouldnt let me say a single word #work wont stop calling me. work wont stop scheduling me on the wrong days #i have to meet ppl tomorrow... i dont want to... i keep having to Do Things #i have to meet ppl on wednesday too even tho that was gonna be my ONE day off #so i definitely cant draw anything for my HW anniversary this wednesday like i thought #im going to push it one more week. feels stupid and pointless but im pissed off #i never get enough time!!! to draw!!! #and i want to draw HW at least once this month!! this year!!! is that so hard!!! #i rarely get time to eat or sleep or do anything im always just working #and you'd think i'd make money! bc im working! but im not!! #i dont even make $150 per week and im always so tired out of my goddamn mind #i didnt even get paid this week. i worked 30 hours and got nothing #i cant. keep going like this but nothing in my life is changing no matter what i do #im so tired it isnt fair i didnt ask to be alive i just want to fuckign sleep

[themichaelvan]

ever just forget your personality

#what do i like? what do i not like? #how do i act around people #how do i react to things #i feel weird i think #i don't know. its hard to focus #i feel like i don't know any of this schoolwork material #but i do #i should at least? i don't know #i have to get a certain part of this work done today but i forgot how much and im afraid to ask #i feel like i don't know my family #i should feel scared i think but im not #im just so tired #i want to sleep but i slept so much last night #i think? i don't remember waking up in the night at least #vent post #do not rb #those are the right tags for this i think.

[zarovich]

cant even hide that fact that im doing so poorly. everyone can tell i know it

#personal #im so scared man. so stressed lately and stress makes my psychosis worse like i struggle telling reality apart from things #and i do things i dont remember doing. i keep fliping and considering to go see a doctor but im afraid #afraid ill be hospitalized again. i dont have the money i dont have the energy to deal with it either. it wont help #afraid to get back on meds. i want to but antipsychotics are not fun. being a lab rat is not fun #nothing ive tried has helped. ppl think im.being dramatic but ive tried well over 50 different medications of different kinds #ive done therapy like 4 times. ive even done other treatments and they did not help me #ive done better on my own. isolating from others. i dont understand ppl. i dont feel... real. alive. human #its not that idk how to socialize. i just dont like it. i know how but i will never understand what it means to be human #this may be the worst ive been doing ever. i just sleep. all day. if i wasnt so tired and lazy i would be dead already #i just hurt man. im so tired of everything and everyone. i know ill never be normal. ive come to terms with that #but im not okay with knowing it yknow. and how others treat me bc of it. im tired of being seen as a project to fix #my stomach is growling so loud. i cant remember when i ate last. i dont need to eat when im not human #vent

[pricknim]

FInally gonna see my therapist today. Hopefully we can come up with something for my sleep

#i havent slept well IN MONTHS #and i dont think sleeping through almost the entirety of a weekend as a 'good' sleep #cause i still woke up just as shit and fell back right into the same patterns again #it sucks not having energy even for things you like #i wanted to draw but i just genuinly couldnt focus on it and kept spacing out every other minute #not even gonna mention my rhythm game scores from the past week #im tired #random #vent