#and it makes the whole story so much sadder and more awful and tragic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thelonechaosgoose · 3 months

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I have recently learned that I like pretty much every book I have to read in English class so have this short long rambling essay on The Great Gatsby.

The whole story makes me sad. It is full of missed opportunities and greed and rich people who have no concern for other people. It's about hope and dreams and a false sense of happiness. Gatsby throws these elaborate parties for one person who doesn't even know he's there. He invites important people to try and get the attention of one girl. When that girl finally sees him, everything begins to fall apart. There is a short period of happiness and hope and light. But that ends almost as quickly as it began. Daisy and Tom's marriage was never real. It was never full of equally returned love. Tom was always with someone else. Even if Daisy said she loved Tom, it wasn't always sincere. Things could've been so good. But the morals of all of these people messed things up. Nick being caught up in all of this made things even sadder. He just wanted to get away from the boring life he had and sell bonds. He didn't deserve any of this. He was stuck inbetween people's secrets and messy lives. It's no wonder he wanted to leave New York and all of them behind. They're all terrible. I mean Gatsby wasn't awful but his obliviousness to the situation and his endless hope and belief that Daisy would go with him after the fight made him a frustrating character. Especially to Nick. The way Gatsby made his money wasn't entirely lawful but I know for a fact he wasnt as bad as Tom. Nick tried to help Gatsby but in the end he gave up. Another point is that if Daisy had waited just a little longer, she could've had a happier life. Even if Gatsby made his money in an unlawful way, they probably would've been happier than she was with Tom. Her happiness was a mask to how she really felt. We only really get glimpses of this but when she talks to Nick about the birth of Pammy, Daisy's daughter, she wants her to be a fool. She wants her to be a fool so that she won't have to deal with the terrible-ness of the outside world. Daisy also was involved in 2 (two) murders! The obvious one being Myrtle. The irony of this is that she kills the woman her husband is having an affair while she's having an affair. The other possibly less obvious one is of course Gatsby. Since she hit Myrtle, she caused Wilson to go to Tom who told him it was Gatsby which then gives Wilson the ammo to shoot Gatsby in his pool. Tom could've told Wilson that it was Gatsby for two reasons. One, he actually thought it was Gatsby. Or, two, he said it was Gatsby to protect Daisy. I think it was the second one. After the fight, Tom knows that Gatsby has lost and he has won. He wants everything to go back to how things were. When he had control over his life. He probably figured out it was Daisy and threw Gatsby under that bus so that they could leave and start over again. Moving on from that mess, I want to talk about Jordan and how awful she is. She was not phased about anything that happened. After the fight and the accident she asked Nick if he wanted to come inside for dinner and hang out after they had literally just seen a dead body. It definitely helps to show that the only people effected by any of this are Nick, Gatsby, and Wilson. Two of which are dead. Gatsby spent the past five years of his life trying to get Daisy back for it only to end in his premature death. Also the fact that Nick was all Gatsby had makes this even more tragic. Even After all the parties and all the business associates, he is still alone and nobody cared about him. He dedicated his life to Daisy and all he got in return was a tiny sliver of happiness.

thank you for coming to my super long Ted talk <3

#the great gatsby #jay gatsby #nick carraway #jordan baker #tom buchanan #daisy buchanan

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golden--doodler · 11 months

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I SAW ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE.

This is my official warning for extreme spoilers because I want to give my full, uncensored thoughts.

However, before getting into all of that, I wanted to say beforehand that this movie is a part one. It ends in a cliffhanger which caught me completely off-guard, and I just want to tell people who haven't seen it yet that this is only the beginning of this particular story. If anyone wants to watch this movie at home when it comes out on video/streaming and just catch the conclusion in theaters (or at least I hope it's the conclusion) because that would be more satisfying to them, I want them to have that ability, and be aware of this.

Okay, now getting into the actual movie, oh my god it was freaking incredible 🥳. I want this movie's art style more than anything. Somehow they improved upon the magnificent, ground-breaking animation style of the first, and made it even better! Gwen's universe has this super cool, almost painterly art style (which is the best way I can describe it) and everyone moves in such a fluid, distinct way.

And speaking of Gwen, I love how the movie opens with her and briefly shows what her relationship was like with her dad and Peter. It makes it all the more sadder knowing what Peter's inevitable fate is. However, the moment Gwen reveals herself as Spider-Woman to her dad is even sadder because despite everything, he's still afraid of her and everything that's happened, and it's absolutely gut-wrenching. I really want to give the girl a hug.

Not only that, but the fact that they used a joke that wasn't even originally going to be in the first movie (the whole bagel joke was just something made off-the-cuff that ended up making it into the final cut because it made everyone laugh so much) and turned the person that said joke happened to into a genuinely tragic character and menacing supervillain is nothing short of massively impressive. I adore the villain in this movie because of how genuinely terrifying he ends up being after being shown in the beginning to seem like just another sad bank robber. By the way, that entire scene is freaking hilarious. And the way that his entire life was "ruined" by Miles and the reactor, so he in turn wants to ruin Miles' life, is so awful, yet one can definitely understand where he's coming from. I can't wait to see what they do with him in part two, and what that final battle's going to be like.

I love how they reintroduced Peter B. Parker, and they gave him a daughter who is the cutest little girl, oh my gosh. The way he's such a proud, excited dad, showing off photos of her on his phone, is the most wholesome thing ever. And his whole heart-to-heart with Miles was really sweet, too. I can't believe meeting Miles is what caused him to want to actually be a father after originally divorcing MJ because he was too afraid to be one 🥺

Miguel is also an interesting character, and this exchange was fascinating:

Gwen: We're supposed to be the good guys!

Miguel: We are the good guys.

I don't want him to become a villain, exactly, but it's clear he's misguided, and I'm sure he'll continue making rash decisions and hunting down Miles in part two. I think his reasoning for wanting to sacrifice one person to save a ton more gave me Infinity War vibes and I'm wondering what they'll do with him next.

Oh yes, and I loved Pavitr Prabhakar, the Indian Spider-Man variant. He was effortlessly talented and also just a genuinely nice guy. I always love it when effortlessly talented people are also genuinely nice. They could've made him a jerk so easily, but they didn't, and I appreciate that.

I also want to praise this movie for the fact that it gave Miles' mother more to do. I adore her speech to Miles about wanting what's best for him, and that there will be people in the future who don't believe in him like his parents do, so he needs to look out for himself and "that little boy". She's such a fun character and a wonderful mother.

This is usually the spot where I'd put any criticisms, but honestly, the only thing I could really say in that regard is because it's a part one, there is definitely a lot of setup. But all in all, I think it's great even on its own, and it leaves you wanting more.

Okay, okay, and the ending. I can't believe a variant of Miles is the Prowler, and I have no idea what that means for the next movie, but I'm so intrigued to find out. God, they really got me, hook, line, and sinker.

There's a lot more I could say about this movie, and I might make another post to add more thoughts that I forgot to add here, but I cannot emphasize enough or put into enough words how much I love it. If you don't mind cliffhangers, go see it in theaters to support it.

#across the spiderverse #definitely one of the highlights of the summer #i'm so happy it's out even though i'm not happy about how long we'll have to wait for the actual conclusion #i'm genuinely curious about other people's thoughts are about it #i just love animation and the first movie and this one just completely reinvented the wheel

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emily-the-fae · 3 years

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Ok so I have been in the interest area for some time

And I may have gotten interested in several Draculas

Here is a list of who I have on team:

5. Bram Stoker's Dracula

I mean come on, Gary Oldman in late Victorian era suits is just extremely handsome. The warrior that became a vampire: seductive, cruel, very nice when in love.

They were quite very bold when they named the movie "Bram Stoker's Dracula" to be honest - like, yes, it is very evident that they followed the author, but decided to add a more romantic plot with some Victorian sensuality. My personal opinion - they tried too hard: they wanted to fit their own storyline of Mina x Dracula love to the original Stoker story, while keeping up at least in the beginning to the author's stile of reading diaries and switching POVs in 2 hours of screentime - it did not go as smoothly as one might have wished, the time is obviously not enough, the story and character relationships are a bit rushed. Besides some characters were well... Lucy's lovers are a bit dumb - far worse than they were in the book and Lucy - ok I get it, you wanted to add eroticism, but not like that!!

In general not so bad. I like it, feels like a nice interpretation.

4. Netflix Dracula

Well, the storyline began as if it could have been Bram Stoker's, but proved to be very different from the original quite quickly. Another nice interpretation. Van Helsing is a female and a nun - that's quite an interesting change. (Seriously, I love the character, she's a big mood.)The modern versions of characters in 3rd episode seemed kinda cool too

Absolutely loved the idea of Dracula absorbing the memories and knowledge with blood, it's really cool. ( Can I please be a vampire too? I really need that for my studies!)

Claes Bang portrayal of the vampire seemed very impressive. Loved it - didn't expect to but loved it - it was the first Dracula movie I watched and it left me under a spell.

Plus the human-eating irony - Hannibal Lecter would have shook Dracula's hand for that, those two have a common sense of humour and aesthetic.

As with the previous one, I enjoyed the interpretation quite a lot.

3. Van Helsing

Well, in that one.

The story has almost nothing to do with the book, doesn't even try to, but the plot they made is exciting - the ancients old enemies concept and all that stuff. The gothic Transylvania/Budapest/Paris/wherever else they were depiction is lovely - it gives the viewer this sense of darkly beautiful atmosphere of vampire stories; soundtrack adds to the picture nicely.

Characters, well... Anna is cool if you look at her in terms of personal - keep up the family values and stuff. BUT a young lady wearing tight trousers in 19th century, are you kidding me??? I'm sorry, but that weirded me out a bit. Same with that moment when "oh I fell five meters and before that soaked under rain, look at my perfectly soft curls" - the female characters in that movie are a bit overly fancy for the time and the action genre - same with Dracula's brides, they're kind of cute, love their babies and Dracula, but why on Earth are they always half-naked?

Van Helsing has a bit of a younger and sadder Mad-Eye Moody vibe. "I kill monsters, although I do pity the humans that sit inside of them. These things need to die" - that kind of person. Hugh Jackman plays him nicely, I felt him very fit for the role - he and Dracula are basically what really saves the film and makes it interesting.

Dracula here is just.. I mean aw. He's hot. He's got a nice accent, he turns into some flying half bat thing that looks hella cool, and he removes his cape in such an extremely graceful gesture that it makes one faint. Love that guy.

(+ the ballroom dance scene was very sensual and gothic, it was one of the reasons I started watching the movie)

2. Dracula Untold

The story of medieval Dracula and how he came to be a vampire - to protect his people and his family. Politics, love, monsters and broken dates. That movie has a great plot and some points which make you stop and wonder (oh do I love the quotes of those "sometimes the world doesn't need another hero, sometimes what it needs is a monster" and of that sort, just beautiful)

It is kind of tragic, but it has a bright side to it, I am extremely grateful to the authors for what they did to the ending.

And Dracula himself well... Luke Evans is just gorgeous in the role. The ultimate strong warrior vampire - a monster to his enemies and a loving husband and father to his family. Dracula redeemed. This one is sweet.

1. Castlevania

Aaaand here we go on my favourite one. If you don't mind watching anime and you love vampires/gothic stuff - you're probably gonna enjoy this. I did. I loved it: the plot, the characters, their relationship, the whole concept of the vampire community and Dracula the vampire King, their motivations. It's catching, it's mesmerizing, it charmed and drew me in (read: I cried and wailed together with my friend, this left me a trauma, I had to write a big fanfic to make up for the pain).

Main characters - Adrian, Sypha and Tevor are a bit Ron, Harry and Hermione but they are a lovely trio, I love the tension between Trevor and Adrian. Very loveable characters, and I dare say quite well written.

And, well, Dracula. Excuse me, this one is my personal favourite. I mean - a beautiful castle, that is moved by some cool mechanisms to wherever Dracula pleases, an enormous library with all the forgotten knowledge of the world. Dracula himself is extremely well-educated, well-mannered, THE gentleman (and yeah well 8ft tall but let's skip that bit). I love that character he is in so much pain I want to hug him and cuddle him into warm blankets. He is a sweetheart.

So that was a short attempt of a person who is terrible at criticizing stuff to write some film reviews. In case anyone is interested. And for me to reassemble my journey into the vampire world.

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lonelier-version-of-you · 3 years

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So I just rewatched both parts of report to the mirror and I had some thoughts that I thought you might be interested in. First, how did I not pick up on the romantic connection of John and henrik, it’s so obvious and I completely missed it when I watched this episode at the time. Especially in the line “it’s time people saw the real you. Us” which is definitely not just a thing friends say. Then the scenes at the lake, when henrik says that he wanted something to believe in, it reminded me of the episode where he talks to roxanna about how his therapist wanted him to look to the future and then John took advantage by giving him something to believe. It’s so tragic. What’s even more tragic is that John drowned in the lake in the same way henrik’s mother did, and how he tried to before John saved him, the whole thing is so awful but beautifully tragic. My final thought is that the song “what difference does it make?” by the smiths really reminds me of John and henrik. Especially the opening lyrics “all men have secrets and here is mine/so let it be known/for we have been through hell and high tide/ I think I can rely on you”. Sorry if this is a ramble but I have so much more analysis on this two parter after a rewatch than I did the first time.

Can you believe my laptop fucking crashed right when I first tried to answer this, smh. But YES HI welcome to 'Report to the Mirror trash' hell with me, I think about that two-parter like 24/7 lol.

Honestly I don't know how anyone could have missed the romantic connection between John and Henrik by that point in the storyline, haha. Although I guess a lot of people were bored of the story by then and weren't paying much attention, so there's that. But at least you figured it out eventually, can't say that for a lot of this fandom. (I thought Henrik had a bit of a crush on John at first, but I didn't realise that 1. it was intentional, 2. it was more than a crush, they were madly in love, and 3. John reciprocated Henrik's feelings, until the flashback episode aired. That was so gay, any sense of plausible deniability was gone after that.)

The "it's time people saw you again, John, the real you - us" line really is just so blatant. Like, I don't know how people think Henrik being bi is up to debate when that line is literally right there? I've been trying to figure out a single possible platonic interpretation of it for 3 years now and I still haven't found one (nor have I found a platonic explanation for the "something positive" scene). Not only is it not a thing a friend would say, it's most certainly not a thing Henrik would say to anyone except someone he was in love with.

(Also, a fun fact: what Henrik says to Meena in part 1, "John Gaskell is a great friend of mine, he's a good man. But more importantly, for the medical world, he is on the verge of something incredible." is very, very similar to something his daughter-in-law Sara once said about Fredrik - "But he is a good father. And he's a good husband, my husband. And I stand by him." Those lines were written by the same writer, Andy Bayliss, so there's no way it wasn't intentional. So the show literally compared John and Henrik to a married couple.)

The lake scene is absolutely heartbreaking, isn't it? It fucks me up every single time. Even after everything John's done, Henrik still stands there and pleads for John to come out of the water. He even says "I can help you". 😭😭

As for the "I wanted something to believe in" line, that gets even sadder when you consider that the show implies Henrik lost his belief in God due to the trauma from the shooting. (In series 15 episode 52, several years before the shooting, he's shown praying before he does surgery on Chantelle, then talks with Serena about how he "made a pact with his god". Then in S20 E31, months after the shooting, he asks Roxanna "You still believe, do you? After what we've both been through?".) Consider the religious metaphors throughout the Gaskell storyline, to the point that the flashback episode is literally called One Man And His God, and... yeah. When Henrik said he wanted something to believe in, he really meant it. :( It's horribly tragic.

John choosing to drown himself in the lake is incredibly poetic but also incredibly sad, isn't it? And the way he asks Henrik to join him, too... goddd. It's all terribly romantic but in the worst, most toxic kind of way. (As my dad once put it - "no one has ever said "come drown with me, no homo"!")

And then there's Henrik's hallucinations from the MPTP, which include John caressing his face and telling him they're the same. There's so much to unpack there. (I still think hallucination!John was probably meant to kiss Henrik and it got cut out, but that's just a conspiracy theory of mine lol.)

And the way that, for the whole first part and most of the second, it's actually true! Henrik goes along with John's unethical decisions throughout both episodes (even though at this point he's been made completely aware of them), and at some points he defends John's actions even when John knows they're wrong. Report to the Mirror is Henrik at the most morally ambiguous we've ever seen him. He draws the line once he realises John has killed Roxanna, and when he (and Fletch, Ric and Sacha) find that John's left Lana cut open on the lab table, but everything up to that, he totally goes along with it. It's really fascinating to me, and shows just how bad their relationship is for each other.

And goddamn, that song is perfect for them! Personally I've always thought "I Knew You" by Future Islands fits Johnrik very well, especially the last chorus. ("Then I had to run / and now we'll leave it all said and done / What did you think he'd find? / Something in the cold of your eyes said "goodbye" / I knew you / I knew you as you were, not as you are / You knew me too / but it's not the same, not the way, the way, you used to...") "Twin Skeletons (Hotel in NYC)" by Fall Out Boy, too ("And I just need enough of you to dull the pain / just to get me through the night 'til we're twins again / 'til we're stripped down to our skeletons again / 'til we're saints just swimming in our sins again").

...I actually have a whole Spotify playlist of songs that remind me of Johnrik, if you or anyone else wants me to share it.

#asks #anons #long post

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crockettmarcel · 3 years

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okay i’m going to write this quickly and i’ll finish the other post later but does anyone else find it weird the way one chicago uses pregnancy as a way to hurt women on the shows?

obviously i know that many women have happy, fulfilled lives without children, and that characters don’t have to be parents to have value, but there’s a pattern amongst one chicago pregnancies that kind of just... seems a little suspicious

warnings for mentions of birth and pregnancy loss

chicago fire

shay’s storyline is one that had a lot of potential - she wanted to have a baby, and went through the whole process of using severide as a donor bc he’s her closest friend and she trusted him more than anyone else. this would have been Such a good storyline, especially in 2013, but unfortunately it didn’t work, Shay gave up trying, and then she was killed off a season later so she never got that opportunity

gabby’s story is the one that actually got me thinking about how much of a problem this is in one chicago. although her baby wasn’t planned, her and casey were both so excited at the thought of becoming parents, and it’s obvious that they would have been good ones. then it turned out gabby was having an ectopic pregnancy, and there was no way to save the baby. that’s two women who wanted children but couldn’t have them, within three seasons of the same show. it was just used to hurt them <3

chicago pd

i’ve only watched a handful of pd episodes (crossovers, and a couple that had reese in them) so if any of this is inaccurate please feel free to correct me!!

anyway, from what i know, burgess is the only character on pd to get pregnant. like gabby, it was a mistake, but she was excited for it, and again, like gabby, she lost the baby. there’s a pattern here, and it doesn’t sit right with me

chicago med

april’s story is probably the saddest one tbh. she found out she was pregnant not long after she was told her TB was active again, and the meds she was put on were likely to cause neural tube defects in her baby <3 love that for her despite this, everthing seemed to be going okay with the baby, until she was told at 19 weeks that it had no heartbeat. not long after that, she called off her engagement with tate because he blamed her for their baby’s death

in 3x06 (Ties That Bind), april said to nat “I lost my baby, but I can still have another. If that were taken away from me, I don’t know that I could forgive.” and then guess what happened! although her mom didn’t secretly have her tubes tied, the writers decided that april should have low ovarian reserve, go through all the struggles of IVF, then lose her boyfriend at the end of it all.

although i think this storyline is important, in that fertility issues are something that should be talked about more, making april the one to deal with them is kind of :/ after everything she went through with her first pregnancy, it seems awful that the med writers decided she can’t have children, especially as she really wants them, and would literally be such a good mom

the other character from med that i want to talk about is nat. although she does have a child, it feels like the only reason she was “allowed” this by the writers was to make her seem like a tragic character. it’s one thing for her to be a widow, but a widow and a single mom? way more sympathy points.

also, this isn’t to do with her storyline, but the way they handled owen’s birth was Bad. mama doctor jones (an OB/GYN) did a video about it and the basic summary of it is that the medical information was literally incorrect.

they said that owen was "sunny-side up”, then used ECV to correct the position, instead of manual rotation (which was shown in a way that looked like something out of a horror movie rather than how it actually looks. shoutout to the sfx team). i know this isn’t the biggest deal, but like. this is a medical show and they should at least make the effort to get things right

anyway. i just think that the one chicago writers should do better by their women, and stop using the same pregnancy loss storyline on each of them just to make them suffer. only one of the main characters in all three of the shows was allowed a successful pregnancy, and that was to make her backstory sadder (and also to complicate things with a potential love interest, but that’s a story for another time)

#chicago med #chicago pd #chicago fire

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paunchsalazar · 5 years

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hey!! bro ur my number #1 source for lupin III content so can I ask like how in the hell I go about watching all the series / movies / etc for it in order??? I’m really pumped for the live action so I wanna at least dip into all the other stuff. thanking ya kindly //tips hat

hello!!! what an honor!! oh my… ok I’m so sorry in advance… I’ve gotten a few similar asks and I started writing out a list and it was getting over 1500 words long so I had to try to chill out…so…

LUPIN III CRASH COURSE

I’m sorry that this is so long.. and consider I cut it down! but here is my intro because I know this franchise is huge and confusing!! (I’ve had multiple instances of friends being like ‘I tried to find that Lupin thing you like but I could only find the third one?’)

I kind of liken it to Scooby Doo? it stretches some 60 years and has been handled by many different writers, directors, and animators across very different eras? most important to know! the order doesn’t really matter and things aren’t really sequential (save for where the three most recent shows) so you can jump in and explore whatever seems compelling! it’s overwhelming because there is so much but also nice because there’s something for everybody! if you like fun and pure, edgy, etc. etc.

feel free to disregard everything coming… I will say my personal priority order is

- Castle of Cagliostro

- some episode of part 2

- part IV, ideally all of it! there’s filler but it’s hard to know which ones

- part I (or some episodes of it? up to you!)

- Fuma Conspiracy

- part V

- part III (it’s great too!! just not as sequential as IV and V)

- First Contact… truly indulgent but its so cute!

(below I broke down a little about each and my favorite episodes, where to find them, etc. and there’s so much more but just doing everything below is a whole lot)

TV (All the shows except for The Woman Called Fujiko Mine are on Crunchyroll!)

Part 1 (1971) - crunchyroll!

The beginnings kind of a weird feeling because the first half was directed with one vision vs. the second half being co-directed by Takahata and Miyazaki, there’s a shift in Lupin’s personality and most significantly they sought to shed his ‘sense of apathy’ and make him more of a hero? something that’s echoed later on! honestly, I don’t think the transition is as dramatic as some people find it? but it does shift across the episodes and end on a sweet note!

truly they all have something to enjoy but I made note of

episodes 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 16, 18, 19, 23

for some reason? really really suggest watching the last episode! but get a bit of the first and second half beforehand!

Part II/Red Jacket (1977-80) - 155 episodes - on crunchyroll dubbed and subbed

there are a lot so I tried to narrow it down to a few of my favorites/ particularly noteworthy ones? I bolded my absolute favorites! I’m sure I missed a few but save for a few two-episode arcs you can jump in anywhere and it’ll be fine.

episodes 1-79 are dubbed on Crunchyroll! In my personal opinion the script makes it worth it!! there are a bunch of non-dubbed episodes anyway if you want to get a feel for both

(these episode titles are often hilarious, misleading, and/or horribly embarrassing?)

1 - ‘The Return of Lupin the Third’ - just a good starting point!

5 - ‘Will the Leaning Tower of Pisa Be Standing?’

6 - ‘Tutankhamen’s 3,000-Year-Old Curse’

7 - ‘Venetian Super Express’ - I want to say this is a cute little road trip episode? it’s been so long

9 - ‘Steal the FIle M123’ - this dub… madness. very strange Christopher Walken impression for absolutely no reason?

10 - ‘Bet on the Monaco Grand Prix’

15 - ‘Crude Reproduction, Perfect Frame’ - Lupin keeps committing strange and uncharacteristic crimes, but he has no memory of doing so!

29 - ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ - Lupin has some mysterious Levitation Technique and everyone is after it

32 - ‘Lupin the Interred’ A famed hitman is after Lupin!

34 - ‘But Your Brother Was Such A Nice Guy’ - this episode is one of the zaniest ones and that’s saying a lot… Vampires? Jesus? Really really funny moments though especially in the dub

42 - ‘Cruisin’ in Drag’ Lupin infiltrates the ship of a wealthy bachelor disguised as a woman

45 - ‘Diamonds and Minx’ kind of a mess of people stealing from each other?

46 - ‘The Island of Dr. Derange’

57 - ‘Alter-Ego Maniac’ - Inspector Zenigata goes criminal

62 - ‘Church of the Poison Mind’ - Jigen and Goemon stumble into a religious cult

69 - ‘Zenigata Getcha Into My Life’ - this title is awful but this episode is great.

78 - ‘Ice, Robot’ - an inventor has made a machine that can cry diamonds!

79 - ‘Baton Death March’

81 - ‘Fujiko, Men are a Sorry Lot!” - Fujiko gets engaged to a Prince, the rest of the gang goes after the monarchy’s Golden Bell

96 - ‘Lupin’s Gourmet World’ tbh this is a vore episode but there are some great gang moments here and a really fun third act

99 - ‘Fighting Jigen’ - first anime episode (I think like in history? but I could’ve misread) in stereo! And I believe the first to air of the TMS staff’s work, you can tell because the style shifts to a more Miyazaki/Cagliostro look and this will keep happening for the rest of the show

101 - ‘Fervent Love at Versailles’ - a crossover episode with Rose of Versailles!

103 - ‘The Wolf Looked at an Angel’ - Goemon is an angel I can say little else

104 - ‘The Most Dangerous Golden Bed’ - debut of perhaps the best opening! I love this episode?? so much?

112 - ‘Danger! Goemon’

122 - ‘An Unusual End to an Expedition for Napoleon’s Treasure’

143 - ‘The Miami Bank’

145 - ‘Wings of Death: Albatross’ - ah yes, one of the famed Miyazaki-directed episode, truly so worth it

151 - ‘To Arrest Lupin, the Mission at the Highway’ - another not exactly Miyazaki episode but a lot of the people he trained? They depart from the part 2 style(s) again but its a good bit of fun all around! Really lovely character animation

152 - ‘Jigen and the Hatless Pistol’ - Jigen loses his hat and thus his ability to shoot

155 - ‘Thieves Love the Peace/Farewell, Dear Lupin’ - the finale episode! Miyazaki-directed as well, and just beautiful

Part III (1984) - 50 episodes - crunchyroll!

I’m still very early in this one so I can’t say much yet! But it gets a bad rep? Perhaps for being more inconsistent stylistically and a bit on the zanier end! But I really like it!! these drawings are such a blast! I think each bit has its merits and this one is no exception. Plus with all their freedom animation-wise they can do a lot of fun stuff!

The Woman Called Fujiko Mine (2012) - 13 episodes - on kissanime for certain and I think animetake?

this is the most dramatic departure from the rest of the shows/films/specials. Fujiko Mine is the star of this part! It definitely has less obviously plot-important episodes but it’s one narrative from start to finish. I must note that it’s by far Lupin’s edgiest, I think it’d be safe to deem this part as R-Rated. There’s sex, violence, sexual violence, abuse, bodily mutilation, obsession… a gay character who gets a pretty tragic fate (at first I was excited by the very existence of an LGBT+ character but he really goes through the wringer and never gets a resolution.. I don’t want to spoil). This is probably Lupin at his ickiest? I do like Jigen’s personality here! And his dynamic with Fujiko, but it’s a lot more disjointed than the other parts. She meets each of them separately and towards the end, Lupin and Jigen interact more but there’s barely a time when they’re all together. That’s not meant to be a deterrent but personally, I’m a sucker for their friendship and love them as a group so it’s a bit of a bummer. Sequential plot-wise though! This one is definitely captivating, a bit disturbing, and there is a plot-twist that really got me. The villain design is really cool too!

Part IV (2015) - 26 episodes - on crunchyroll, also dubbed on Funimation

This part is narrative-based and sequential! It still has some more standalone episodes but there’s definitely an overarching story throughout! I think they’re all worth watching and might leave little important bits that’ll be confusing later on. Essentially this part takes place in Italy for the most part and starts with Lupin getting married to a multi-millionaire heiress/model/celebrity who wants to get into the thief business. This one feels like a good combination of old and new, it’s not quite as silly as the earlier parts can be, but it’s full of nostalgia while still feeling original. I really had a good time!

This dub isn’t bad but!! It comes with a different opening and soundtrack, I guess Lupin’s pretty big in Italy and perhaps there were licensing issues? I’m not sure? But it’s a bit of a bummer to be without the Yuji Ohno soundtrack. The alternate opening feels more like a collection of stills and footage found throughout the show? It’s not horrible, just different! Regardless, the Part IV Japanese OP (vs. the Italian/US one) is worth a watch!

Part V (2018, airing on Adult Swim right now, summer 2019!) - 23 episodes

I’m actually not done with this part but its good fun! more directly tied to part iv then the others are to each other. It’s more sequential as well with a few sub-arcs and since it fell on the franchise’s anniversary it has callback episodes with Lupin in various jackets in various tones. Interesting Lupin characterization here… he seems… sadder, wistful? and we get hints of Lupin lore! Lots of fanservice but… I love it! I still think they could’ve pushed it more? it feels somehow more reserved than part IV in some ways, which is already different from the 70s and 80s, but it’s got a lot of lovely moments!!

Films/TV Specials

From 1989 to 2011 they had a special every year!! So much!

Castle of Cagliostro (1979) - Available on Netflix!

perhaps the best-known piece of media in the Lupin franchise? And rightly so. This film is Hayao Miyazaki’s directing debut and a blast from start to finish! This characterization of Lupin is definitely Miyazaki’s more than Monkey Punch’s but that seems to be the strange nature of the Lupin franchise! I could really go on forever… please watch it!

The Fuma Conspiracy (1987) -

perhaps harder to find, but it’s on Kissanime! Goemon is getting married but before the ceremony is over the bride is taken by the Fuma ninja clan and the gang helps him to get her back as well as learn the story of a family heirloom? Really great stuff from everybody! Adorable Zenigata, the fluffiest and most handsome Goemon, cute Jigen, Fujiko, and Lupin interactions, a really really incredible car chase! Even with Cagliostro’s fame, this one has got some serious pizzazz

Episode 0: The First Contact (2002) - on Kissanime as well!

A journalist asks Jigen how he met Lupin III, this is probably my favorite TV special? And features one of my favorite opening scenes in the whole franchise. The instrumental!! Perhaps each member of the gang at their purest, whatever that means, really great moments between everybody and peak Lupin and Jigen meeting and somehow signing up to be life partners

#oh my god #i'm so sorry #please.. feel free to ignore this #lupin #lupin the third #lupin iii #lupin the 3rd #diggitydamnsebastianstan

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

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sadness ratings would b great tbh dhjshxjdb

okay yeah!! also like, i’m gonna sort of try to take a “so you’re listening to these songs for the first time” perspectived kind of approach

1. Hold Me, Bat Boy - (not that sad)

it’s technically all about how terrible the bat boy’s existence is and how he suffers throughout the story, but it’s the opening number and also tonally isn’t trying to be like, emotionally sad. also it’s undeniably strange even by the extra-strange standards for the whole musical, as in like, i still don’t feel like i fully understand what it’s trying to tell me there.

2. Christian Charity - (not at all sad)

mostly just setting up parts of the story.

3. Ugly Boy - (not at all sad)

it’s kinda :( just in terms of the fact that its a song about shelley calling edgar gross and that’s just like aw cmon don’t be mean to him

4. Whatcha Wanna Do? - (not at all sad)

same as the previous song, it’s someone being mean to edgar again but it’s not actually sad or anything

(4.5 Hey Freak - (not that sad))

(this is the west end production’s version of both ugly boy and whatcha wanna do. the Ugly Boy equivalent verses are a little bit harsher and kind of like “he’s totally gonna die” so that’s a bit of a bummer. also rick’s “rapping loudly and whitely” verses in whatcha wanna do are sung even more awkwardly. but really, it’s not sad. i’m just being generous abt it)

5. A Home For You - (a bit sad)

the first song that’s kinda quieter / downtempo, and tonally more emotional, and definitely bittersweet, but more on the sweet side, so it’s probably not like, gonna be too heartbreaking to listen to or anything. a bit touching even

6. Another Dead Cow - (not that sad)

it’s a bummer that it’s about the economic struggles of this small community, but like, seriously it’ll be fine, it’s not a sad song lol

7. Dance With Me, Darling - (not that sad)

it would be a “not at all sad” but the fact that meredith is having to deal with dr parker is also like. a bit depressing. but it isn’t a sad song. you may notice that there’s an ominous and dramatic interlude towards the end but that’s about dr parker keeping edgar alive with fresh blood

8. Mrs. Taylor’s Lullaby - (not at all sad)

well they’re being mean to edgar again but it’s really not a sad song either lol don’t worry

9. Show You A Thing Or Two - (not that sad)

it’s not a sad song at all either, it’s just a fun one really. i’m only saying it’s a bit sad because edgar has a bit of a tough time in the beginning and i’m like aw hang in there buddy :( but seriously, it’s not gonna be sad to listen to

10. Christian Charity (reprise) - (not that sad)

it’s another instance of people being mean to edgar, but it’s a little sadder to prior examples of this b/c it’s sort of about the town’s animosity for him solidifying and having them like….just throw out threats to kill him like yikes….not tonally sad though so it’s not that bad. the one instance of dr parker not being wholly useless but that only lasts for like ten seconds

11. A Home For You (reprise) - (a little sad)

it’s really not tonally sad either, there’s just a bit of poignancy to edgar like, desperately hoping that the fact he has a navel means he might have a human family and Belong in the world despite the fact that the townspeople seem to hate him already

12. Comfort And Joy - (a little sad)

like, this is the act 1 closing number that’s laying out the conflicts that are setting the stage for act 2 so like, the focus on what all the characters are really wanting is sort of sad, especially edgar’s solo b/c that’s kind of the most solemn, slower, emotional part of the song and leads into its climax. but god the fact that this song is so good and such a fucking jam kind of keeps it from being too tragic to listen to. though the Best Version aka the one with will roland is a bit tougher to listen to emotionally b/c they’re all giving such intense performances, honestly, and the emotion in this song really is Very Much There

13. A Joyful Noise - (not at all sad)

yeah there’s really nothing to say…..its Not Sad

14. Let Me Walk Among You - (a bit sad)

as usual, it’s not like, that sad to listen to really, but it IS about edgar kind of pleading his case in front of all the townspeople to beg them to give him a chance to be accepted and like, he’s wistfully describing all the sorts of average, everyday experiences he wants to have, so like. it’s not the most lighthearted but it’s still not that rough to listen to

15. A Joyful Noise (reprise) - (happy)

this is the high point of the whole musical lol so it’s fine and fun

16. Three Bedroom House - (not that sad)

despite technically being a sort of sad point in the plot for sure, the tone is pretty cheerful b/c the characters are being so optimistic about being able to turn it around. this kind of falls apart at the very end though :/

17. Children, Children - (a bop)

this one’s a lot of fun. it’s sort of a second high point that’s not as much of a high point as before, but still. and it’s a bop. i will never not say how the ensemble coming in with the “oooooo-shalala” harmony really sets me tf off in, like, a good way, because this song slaps

18. Inside Your Heart - (yeah sorta sad)

automatically more of an emotional number b/c it’s the Love Song of the soundtrack…it doesn’t really drag you through it but edgar’s out there believing that it’s not safe for people to be near him and, it may be immediately undercut by shelley’s matter-of-fact response, but the Intense Dramatic Crescendo delivery of edgar trying to get shelley to leave him behind is fairly sad even if the moment is brief lol…..but overall the number’s basically just a sweet one and it pretty much turns into Part 2 of the second high point, so, it’s also fine

(18.5 Mine, All Mine - (still sorta sad yeah))

(the west end production’s version of “inside your heart”…it starts out differently and has shelley and edgar argue a bit with shelley getting frustrated before they get to the matter of edgar needing blood, so that’s interesting. but it’s still the love song and still sweet, and it’s a minute longer than inside your heart, so that’s just more time for emotions. once again i find that edgar pleading with shelley makes me go “oof”)

19. Apology To A Cow - (hmm yeah sad-esque)

i mean it’s getting right into the Tragic Finale setup here, and it’s all about edgar’s emotional distress basically, but by this point he’s moved right onto the Anger stage of things so it’s not really a sad song

20. I Imagine You’re Upset - (probably the saddest one)

this is where all the characters have their emotional confrontations, and edgar is starting the song off wanting to die, so like, it’s no “a joyful noise” reprise. the fact that it reprises a lot of other songs though is also helping with that emotional impact though, ugh……as useless and terrible as dr parker is, his duet with meredith which is sort of a reprise of “let me walk among you” is like, the Sadness Climax and also the actual climax of the song really, so. but it’s not likely that it’s like, going to be too hard to listen to still

21. I Am Not A Boy / Hold Me, Bat Boy (reprise) - (yeah kinda sad)

the bit at the very beginning is sad yeah but like, it’s just this 10-second exchange….and then after that, the reprise of the opening song is also like, it’s sad b/c it’s reflecting on the whole tragedy that just unfolded, but everyone’s singing to the audience, and it’s not trying to be a tearjerker.

overall yeah: it’s not gonna be very hard to listen to, especially with the limited context of Just The Songs / listening to them for the first time, since like, various reveals in act 2 make previous material sadder in retrospect. but yeah it shouldn’t be too bad or anything.

#Anonymous #i listened to each of the songs while writing this so i could be sure lol...#it's a tragedy and it Is sad and yet the soundtrack isnt very like overwhelming emotionally or anything

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popculturespiritwow · 5 years

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THE WICKED + THE DIVINE 455AD: SIGH NO MORE

FULL CYCLES

We begin with a boy cutting up a lamb with a knife that looks a lot like Ananke’s, though it’s unclear at the time whether this is part of a religious sacrifice or dinner. At the end, we’ve got Ananke doing much the same to Lucifer, though instead of being the offering she’s always going on about here it’s an effort to bury the evidence, lest future iterations get any ideas.

Within the issue are so many other great riffs and repetitions; Ananke preparing to head pop Lucifer, but this time she’s beaten to the blast (and on the page turn, of course); Ananke insisting that her actions are well-intentioned – and this time to someone who you would not think she needs to convince, someone irrelevant to the endless cycle she has got herself trapped in. So once again we’re left with the thought maybe she’s...ugh....working for good? And then it’s immediately undercut by Geiseric’s doubt.

The overall plot of the issue – end of term God goes mad – is a new element we’ll also now add to our sense of the cycles going forward. In Imperial Phase I David told us this is how it all falls down, and now for the first time we get to see it happen.

(Okay, also we had Laura drowning herself in ill-advised sex and sadness and Sakhmet making a meal of the room and Amaterasu taking crazy up a notch and Cassandra refusing to just let go and let Dionysius because THE MACHINE THO and The Morrigan turning Baph into her Underdungeon slave. But this is the first time we’ve seen how it ends!)

You could walk away thinking of 455AD as a puzzle piece in the overall story. Ananke is not lying, the gods do die after two years, and it does go bad the way David suggested. But given how often that view of things has been challenged and undermined by the narrative, we have to beware leaving it there. Kieron Gillen, does he ever whisper anything other than what we wish to hear?

THE PLAY’S THE THING

We’ve got an actor in a role – something made clear on the very first page, as the boy asks Lucifer who he’s playing -- who turns his story into a play, complete with Shakespeare-like visions, a soliloquy to let Rome live, even an “Et tu.”

His mid-issue interaction actually reads like a scene in a play, the end of Act II (of V) argument where the tragic hero is warned and begged and wiled and threatened about the direction he has chosen and decides to take his journey anyway. (I’d love to know if even Clayton Cowles’ choice of square word bubbles and more blocky formal font is meant to evoke not just a more ancient time, but a script. It certainly works well that way.)

But even after our stage star dies, that sense of theater remains. Ananke’s interaction at the end with Geiseric is much like the witches with Macbeth, an offer of fortune in exchange for what seems like nothing – tell no one of this -- and provides the opportunity for a classic end-of-play unsettling moral: “When you look back on these days, remember ‘Lucifer was merely an actor made great by history.’ Though try not to consider who else that might apply to. There are no happy endings to such thinking.”

The fact that the sense of role and theater continues beyond Lucifer’s death speaks to the situation Ananke is in, not a subject acting but an actor performing her part. But it also reduces Geiseric to the same, part of the drama, with his own role on offer which will create (and also hide) a story cycle of its own.

It’s a hall of mirrors we’re staring into, and is it me or is the bottom line that gods, humans, whatever the hell Ananke is, we’re all of us actually trapped. The story begins with Lucifer trying to be also writer and director, but honey, that’s just not how this thing works. (That first four pages, with the steady beats of Lucifer becoming Julius, is a brilliant exposition of both the fabulous joy and the serious problem of the issue and the characters in the series.)

Heh indeed.

Kieron writes in his Notes for the issue that what we’re seeing is “about the dangers of excess”, and Lucifer absolutely seems drunk on his own power.

(Random aside: It fascinates me that every time I mention Lucifer I want to use the pronoun “she”. I love that and I want to believe that’s intended.)

But in a way isn’t power another way of talking about freedom? He’s the actor who sees first in godhood and now in Julius a way out of his servitude. “Why should I not be whoever I wish,” he asks Ananke.

Of course, the fact he’s decided to seek release by simply choosing another role rather than say, walking away from the whole thing and retiring to a tastefully decorated villa in a newly gentrified slum of Rome – the sort of life Bacchus invites him to -- shows how far from free he really is. But still rather than say, purpose or power it’s freedom that he seems to long for.

And while it seems like he was definitely on the train to crazy before things went human limb-harp bad, still in those insanely awful pages what he seems to be reacting to, what’s prompted the bloodbath, is the fact that they tried to have him killed because he’s just an actor. Despite saving them and his promises of glory, they still dismiss him because he’s an actor. He’s still trapped.

(Or it could be that actually they did not try to have him killed and instead he has lost himself in reenacting what happened to Nero. Which is even sadder somehow.)

It’s such a brilliant move to make theater the pop music of the day. Even more than being a pop star, being an actor reveals the entrapped-ment of the characters. Although now why do I feel the walls pressing in? And why do the posters on those walls look like set dec? And pretty weak set dec at that?

You know it’s been a while since I’ve written recaps for WicDiv. Doing these last few issues the thing that keeps hitting me is how the issues actually are like little puzzle boxes. But working with them what slowly opens up is not delicious answers about character and plot mysteries but brutal questions about life.

#wicdiv #andre lima araujo #kieron gillen #clayton cowles #the human limb-harp a low note for the series?#sorrynotsorry

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unexpectedreylo · 6 years

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Spoilerific Thoughts On “Solo”

Rosé All Day In The GFFA!

As of writing, I’ve seen the movie twice and I really enjoyed it both times. Forget those tales of a troubled production; Ron Howard made a solidly entertaining, fun film with lots of goodies and surprises for fans of most stripes.

“Solo” is basically a heist movie and a Marvel-esque origin story at the same time. When we meet Everyone’s Favorite Smuggler, he’s a runaway living in Corellia’s dark and filthy underworld hoping for the big score to get him and his girlfriend Qi’ra away from their Fagin-like “master.” We march through Han’s escape from Corellia, how he ended up with his last name, his abrupt and necessary decision to go to the Imperial Academy, his time as an Imperial officer, his first meeting with Chewbacca, and his re-entry into the galaxy’s underworld with his mentor, Tobias Beckett. We witness his first meeting with Lando Calrissian and finding the love of his life, at least the one that isn’t a breathing person, the Millennium Falcon. The famous sabacc game? It’s there. So’s the legendary Kessel Run. All of the while, Han’s penchant for trouble and not listening to anyone but himself puts him in danger over and over. It’s all great character development and enjoyable to watch. But there’s more! In “Solo,” we see the gray and topsy-turvy world of the galaxy’s criminal class. Sometimes it appears glamorous and beautiful, sometimes it looks just like what it is: dirty and awful. The good turns out to be bad and the bad turns out to be good. All of the while, Beckett reminds Han never to trust anyone.

So, you might ask, what did you think of Alden Ehrenreich? Alden was in the same crappy position that Chris Pine was in while playing Captain Kirk in the more recent Star Trek films; it’s very difficult to step into a very famous role played by a very famous actor. Ewan McGregor had a similar problem but because he played Obi-Wan decades younger, it gave him a lot more wiggle room to define the character himself while making it credible he and Alec Guinness were playing the same guy. Ehrenreich and Pine were playing their respective roles less than 20 years younger than their more legendary incarnations. That’s tough. I’m certain some people are blowing off this film simply because they can’t accept someone else playing Han Solo. The other side of that coin is it’s precarious in HOW you play the character. Take on too much of Ford’s affectations, it looks like an impersonation, one that could descend into parody fast. Completely ignore them and people won’t connect that it’s Han Solo at all. Now, Ehrenreich doesn’t really look much like Ford. He’s shorter, his nose is smaller, the whole shape of his face is different. There’s only a bit of resemblance around the eyes and the makeup people thoughtfully added Ford’s chin scar. It’s a little jarring when you realize that eventual son Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) really does look related to Ford while Ehrenreich looks like neither one of them. My mom the movie critic, who saw the movie with me and my brother the first time, thought Ehrenreich is actually better-looking than Ford. But (and there’s always a but) attitude can make up for a lack of resemblance. More on that in a second. For what it’s worth, Ehrenreich does have the right attitude. It’s like seeing a more boyish Han, one who gets by on b.s. and bluster, who’s a tiny bit full of himself, and who hasn’t experienced a decade’s worth of betrayals yet to come and other things that made him far more world-weary in ANH. This Han is charming and self-assured, a cinnamon roll whose circumstances define him but won’t defeat him and turn him into well, Qi’ra. From this movie, it’s easy to see why he was drawn to Rey in TFA. He saw a lot of himself in her.

Everyone does a pretty bang up job in the film performance-wise. I have to say Donald Glover absolutely kills it as Lando. Glover doesn’t really look like Billy Dee Williams but he’s got the Lando-ness down perfectly: the smoothness, the vague sleaziness, the flair for fashion, and all around cool. He even nailed Williams’s way of speaking without making it an impersonation. Glover has so much charisma in the part, I really wouldn’t mind seeing him again in his own adventure. Woody Harrelson was an excellent fit as Beckett. Harrelson brings his own charisma and worldliness as the father figure who initiates Han into the life that as prophesized, he never got out of. Casting him was a great idea. Also worthy of mention is Phoebe Waller-Bridge as L3-37, or simply “L3.” Funny and sassy, you’ll be touched by her short time onscreen. And the mysterious Enfys Nest (Erin Kellyman) who turns out to be not quite what we thought.

The surprise in this turned out to be Emilia Clarke as Qi’ra. Of all the new characters, she’s easily the most fascinating. She’s beautiful, smart, resourceful, and tough but also a bit of a femme fatale. She has a heart but she’s also hungry and hell bent on not ending up a Corellian street rat again. She is what Han could have been with a few degrees of difference in his personality or more time spent a virtual slave on Corellia, what Rey could have been had she decided to trade on her looks and feminine wiles for material security from crime bosses. The interesting thing about her is she clearly cares about Han. I don’t know if she loves him per se but she does care about him enough to know she has to protect him from her. She’s sort of like that old Amy Winehouse song, “You Know I’m No Good.” Paul Bettany’s character and Beckett both warn Han that he doesn’t know her as well as he thinks he does and that she’s done some pretty bad things. We know for sure she allied herself with a crime syndicate that has committed atrocities and well, we find out toward the end how far her darkness extends. She accepts Han’s affections but to a point. Why? She knows they can’t get attached. At the end, when she splits in the mobile Crimson Dawn HQ, it seems to parallel the last Force bond seen in TLJ. In TLJ, Rey has to do it for her own sake as well as Kylo’s. In this movie, Qi’ra does it for Han’s own good. The more he’s kept away from this stuff the better, not so much IMO she fears that lifestyle would destroy him as she realizes at some point her knife has to go between Han’s shoulder blades if he keeps hanging around.

Poor Han. Not only can the guy never escape trouble, he’s constantly faced with betrayal throughout his life, which it is easy to see why he leans so much on Chewie. Say what you will about Chewbacca, but he’s the one of the very few beings who never lets Han down. Sadder yet are the implications of Han’s upbringing and his relationships with authority/father figures. In one conversation with Lando, Han mentions his blue collar dad that he wasn’t close to. Who knows what THAT relationship was like? Han tells his Imperial recruitment officer that he “has no people,” so the officer christens him Solo. (For all we know, Han’s real last name is Wallbanger or Horowitz or Seymour-Butts.) Why Han was on the streets is still a mystery. Did Han simply run away from home? Was it disagreement and butting heads or was there severe dysfunction, i.e. addiction, abuse, neglect? Did Han do something to the old man? We don’t know and it’s not like Han to tell. Han takes to Beckett as a surrogate father figure who of course betrays him. Another fascinating and tragic parallel takes place near the end of the movie. Most people pay attention more to the “Han shot first” aspect of it rather than how this scene predicts Han’s eventual fate in TFA. Han kills his father figure just as his own son will eventually kill him. Han of course was acting in self-defense but it’s tragic all the same. Han’s family situation also predicts the struggles he has in his relationship with Ben Solo. In this context it makes sense that a man who had no idea what a dad is like would struggle to be one himself, especially since he’s almost or at middle age when it finally happens.

Another thing to love about “Solo” is its careful attention to the mythos. The film has the style and feel of Brian Daley’s novels from back in the day, while much of Han’s backstory, known to Star Wars lore fans for decades, is in here. Moreover, elements from the expanded universe, video games, The Clone Wars, and the prequels are brought in to great effect. Teras Kasi? Glee Anselm? The Maw? Carrida? Aurra Sing’s fate? Colo claw fish roe as an appetizer? It’s all in here!

I will say this: DARTH MAUL’S SHOCK CAMEO GIVES ME LIFE!!!

I blurted out, “What the hell?!” when he turned up at the end of the film. (I also had to explain to my brother, who had never seen The Clone Wars or Rebels, why Maul was still alive.) A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one. That Qi’ra is working for him has a whole host of implications for her and possibilities for Maul to return in other Star Wars canon. And yes, that’s Ray Park reprising his role and Sam Witwer voicing him.

“Solo”’s score is pretty good, a mix of original and unique music and John Williams’s classic scores. Listen for some fun callbacks like “Asteroid Chase” from TESB.

Like “Rogue One,” “Solo” is a smaller movie than the bigger, sweeping main saga flicks. It doesn’t have TLJ’s artistic ambitions or haunting quality. But there’s room for a movie that’s pure fun with a few more layers than expected.

#solo han solo ben solo star wars solo: a star wars story

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thebluesideofthemoon · 7 years

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The Wall #45: COLLATERAL BEAUTY

Okay, I did say that the Zootopia re-review was going to be next, but this is something I need to get out of the way right now. Yes, I saw this movie, Collateral Beauty, a while back actually - it was the last movie I saw last year (I saw it in vacation), and my family are all big Will Smith fans, and I do love me some Will Smith, so this could have been a real treat, right?

HOOOOOOOO BOY. THIS is a BAD movie. This is the kind of bad movie that becomes legendary by its sheer shittiness.

So this movie’s plot is that Will Smith dealing with the grief of having lost his daughter to a horrible accident and is coping with it by sending these letters to the concepts of Death, Time, and Love, only for those concepts to then become personified and help him deal with his trauma.

Now, I know this sounds like a weepy, kind of corny, melodramatic movie that comes out around this time of year to try to tug at your heartstrings and maybe attempt to nab an Oscar or two. I’m not the biggest fan of these kind of movies because I find they just do nothing but try to be as emotionally manipulative as possible while giving you a cornball script and pretty shallow execution- it only succeeds because the themes in and of themselves are sad, and they only play them with the one note of sadness. This isn’t always the case, as a movie like Son of Saul works wonderfully by giving us far other emotions than just sadness- it also has fear, hope, suspense, it actually gets you to connect with the characters, so it’s not just sad for sake of being sad, there’s a lot more to it that allows it become more than “just another Holocaust movie”.

It may sound like I’m going off on a tangent, but I need to make this clear for a reason- I know these kind of movies exist, but if they don’t have much more going for them there’s no reason for me to see them, but at the very least they have the dignity to know what they are, and get in and get out. I thought this was going to be one of those. I thought I would just say that “yeah, I know some people will find this sort of thing sad, but it’s not for me. 4/10” and that’s where the story would normally end.

… unfortunately, not for this. To give the movie the very little credit it deserves it absolutely surprised me, blindsided me, you could even say it shocked me because it turned out to be absolutely NOT what I was expecting. What this movie DID turn out to be was one of the biggest, most pretentious, absolutely vile, mean-spirited piles of shit I have ever seen in my life.

For one, the plot of the movie that you see in the trailers (as I detailed above) is A BIG LIE! Yes, Will Smith does have to cope with the grief of losing his daughter, but two things: 1. He’s actually not the main character of the movie, it’s actually Edward Norton, Michael Pena, and Kate Winslet, his friends. 2. The plot involves them GASLIGHTING Will Smith. Eeeeeyup. What actually happens is that they all work for an ad agency where Norton and Smith are partner owners, and now that Smith is depressed they’re losing their clients because Ed Norton is pretty useless at dealing with them. So he, and two other co-workers, Pena and Winselt, all form a plan to sell the company under Will Smith’s nose- thanks to an offer they were given to have the company bought out by $17 per share (which is easy to remember when the movie only mentions it a measly twenty or thirty times throughout the movie’s run time)- by making him look crazy by hiring actors to play the abstract concepts of Death, Time, and Love (played by Helen Mirren, Jacob Latimore, and Keira Knightley, respectively) so they can get Will Smith fired. All while these actors all tie into in a “metaphorical way” to these three characters because one of them is dying, one of them has a daughter who hates them, and the other one works too much to the point where they ignore having kids, even though these people are some of the most cruel assholes in New York City history.

That sure does sound like a fun movie, doesn’t it?! Where… the fuck… do I begin?

The story is by far what gets on my nerves the most. For one it’s a movie that it’s basically built on conveniences for 90% of the time; the tension of the movie hinges on nobody, aside from Will Smith, being able to see that these actors are there. So everyone else around them just pretends that these actors aren’t there to keep the illusion that they are visions that Will Smith is seeing to prove that he’s gone crazy. One of the most egregious examples of this happens when we see through a digital camera Will Smith talking with Helen Mirren but she’s somehow removed from the footage even though EVERYONE ELSE AROUND THEM KNEW THAT SHE WAS ACTUALLY THERE, because apparently these concepts can decide to interact with other people just because they can. In NEW YORK CITY. Because Will Smith just accepts that these concepts are real, and not once bothers to find out if this is true, even though this is a plan that could have easily backfired. So did these three scumbags also hire everyone else in New York to act as if they can’t see Death, Time, and Love because that would ruin the illusion? No explanation given on that at all! The movie also has two particularly awful twist endings, which I’ll get to once I go through the rest of things wrong with this abomination of a movie.

Not since Movie 43 have I seen so many good actors completely wasted on such awful material. Most of the actors are directed like they were on a middle school play, and this is one of those movies where it was clearly only given the direction of “act sad. No, sadder. No, REALLY sad, because we need to wring out every single piece of emotional manipulation out of this wretched piece of trite”.

Yes, I know that movies by nature are manipulative, but there is a way to have a movie tug at your heartstrings in a genuine way that is earned when the characters and conflict are that well fleshed out and allow you to get invested because you want to see these people succeed- a movie like Anomalisa pulls this off because even though the main character himself isn’t necessarily a completely good person, they flesh out his dilemma so well that you completely understand why he goes through what he does- you can feel the emotions, you can connect with him, you can relate to the situations because they managed to make them feel completely and absolutely real, and when those sort of real emotional situations get pulled off in the way that something like Anomalisa does it, it sticks with you, it weighs on your mind, it makes you feel a rollercoster of emotions and it really hits home!

That doesn’t happen when the main characters are all slimy scumbags who want to screw over their friend majorly (whom, by the way, is apparently depressed enough by his daughter’s death that he pretty much becomes a vegetable, yet still manages to keep himself fed, well-kept- sure he has a bit of grey in his hair, but he’s still WILL SMITH), not really caring about his well-being because they are in actuality really shitty people- not that the movie ever calls them out on it because it’s too busy being really fucking proud of itself on how clever it is, and how much it’s trying to get you to cry. It’s monotonous at best, and it feels really underhanded at worst because it’s a movie that is trying to get a rise out of its audience in the cheapest way possible. It’s the reason why I absolutely despised movies like Home and Remember Me so much because they tried to pull the card of trying to make you feel emotional investment on a movie that doesn’t really warrant it! But at least those movies only did them in bits and pieces, NOT THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!

And the dialogue! Oh God, is it terrible! Most of it is either talking about selling this building, it’s really stilted, or it means absolutely fucking nothing. They mention the phrase “collateral beauty” so much in this movie AND IT MEANS NOTHING! It’s a meaningless statement that wouldn’t get irritating if it wasn’t for the fact that they mention it SEVERAL IN TIMES IN THE MOVIE! It’s by far the worst title drop I’ve seen in any movies since, oh gee, THE LAST MOVIE I REVIEWED THAT STARRED WILL SMITH. “How could this movie get worse?” did you ask? I will tell you because this movie offers a very special deal: TWO shitty twists for the price of one, which I’m going to spoil because, fuck this movie.

The first twist is that the actors who played Death, Time, and Love… ACTUALLY ARE DEATH, TIME, AND LOVE! They were actually helping Michael Pena, Edward Norton, and Kate Winslet with THEIR problems instead of Will Smith… because that makes a lot of sense, it’s not like they’ve been fucking him over this entire movie. They also do end up taking their money ($20,000 each) for their services, which is admittedly the one genuinely funny thing about the movie (whether or not that was intentional is hard to tell because this movie fucking sucks).

The second, and by far WORSE, twist comes in the form of Howard (that’s Will Smith’s character) meeting this woman named Madeline (played by Naomi Harris, who appeared in Skyfall and Spectre, and another 2016 movie that I will talk about later, Moonlight) who works at this support group, to which Howard comes into and constantly interacts with her. Evidently she too lost a daughter in a tragic accident, and talks to him about how her ex-husband sends her notes that say “if only we could be strangers again”. However, it turns out that Will Smith IS her ex-husband, and she was talking about the same girl that they both lost the same way. At no point in the movie do you ever get a hint that these two used to be in a relationship of any way because they literally act like strangers around each other. Also, she’s completely okay with her ex-husband saying things like he just had a conversation with Death and Time.

DOES THIS MOVIE LOATHE ITSELF?! DO THEY GET OFF TO THIS?! IN WHAT PLANET DO THEY THINK THAT THIS IS HOW HUMANS INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER?! I DON’T GET IT! THIS MOVIE IS FUCKING INSANE!

Collateral Beauty is disgusting. This isn’t a movie like Anomalisa, or Son of Saul, or Her; those movies play with your heartstrings like a cellist with a perfectly smooth, fine-tuned bow. This movie plays the heartstrings like a lunatic ax murderer with a bloody, rusty hacksaw. This isn’t just bad, it’s offensive. It’s vile, it’s repulsive, and it may just very well be the worst holiday movie ever made. This is Oscar Bait done way, WAY wrong. (1,855 words. Music: Undertale- Battle Against a True Hero)

I hate this movie. I absolutely, thoroughly, and very, VERY vehemently hate this movie. If not for Yoga Hosers, then this might be the worst movie I've seen this year, though to give Yoga Hosers a bit of credit, at least that movie never pretended to be anything more than stupid, unfunny bad movie. I was a bit conflicted on what to rate this movie, but I think I've got it.

Though this is VERY close to being a 0, this movie can still kiss my ass. It is THAT awful. Maybe I wouldn't hate it so much if it wasn't so dishonest, but this movie can rightfully fuck off. Well, I sure hope you guys enjoy this review I sure didn't! And I'll talk to you all next time on The Wall!

#The Wall #Movie review #Collateral Beauty #Will Smith #Oscar Bait

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