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#and just havent had time to write the 20 page essay i want on the topic lol
peter-pantomime · 10 months
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3, 7, 8, 19 (and 20 if you’re feeling it!) for the ST ask 🥰
3. Favorite scene in the entire series?
It's a tie between Steve bursting into Jonathan's house and Dustin commandeering Steve into helping with Dart, both moments I love for the same reason. My faaaavorite thing in genre fiction is when something happens that completely bucks the conventions and expectations of the genre, and it really feels to me that Steve bursts through the script he was supposed to a part of at the end of s1 into a completely new story, and that kind of transformative self-authorship just makes me giddy. Likewise, at the beginning of s1, you would never expect Steve and Dustin to be the greatest team-up of the show, and Dustin shouting to Steve to come join him similarly feels like Dustin looking across the margins of the page he's on and going uh, yeah, I'm yoinking this guy into the story. I just LOVE it.
7. Favorite couple? (canon or non-canon)
Steddie, obviously. I loooooove that they're both such classic character archetypes on their own and how interestingly they play with the standards of those archetypes, and then when you put them in conversation with each other, all those character elements just play so WELL off each other. I love that the little we have of them to work with is SO powerful, and while of course I would have enjoyed more canon material to play with, I also deeply love that there isn't a lot of constraint from canon and how much freedom and invention that necessitates in fandom works.
8. Favorite weapon/power?
I mean, it's obviously the nail bat, right? Like is there even another choice? (I'm also biased because I made my own for a cosplay and it turned out SO well lol, so that's definitely a part of it. But also its just SO iconic, of course it's the nail bat).
19. Favorite minor character?
listen i'm about to go info-dump all my wayne headcanons in your inbox so thats the ONLY REASON im not sharing them all here because i LOVE HIM, but for these purposes I'm gonna go with Tommy Hagan. I think he provides such a fun chance to explore obsession, jealousy, possessiveness, power fantasies, and toxicity in just a dirty, delicious way, I'm just fascinated by it. It's a character archetype I think of as the Mrs. Danvers, and I feel like that character's relationship with a main character often provides the most fascinating depth and contrast to other relationships in the MCs life. I put Izzy Hands from OFMD and Kavinsky from the Raven Cycle in this category - they all have that sublimated/gothic/noir/Celluloid Closet queer(coding) flavor to them that's just riveting to chew on.
20. Something that you really want to happen in season 5?
I think the psychic energy/ghosts/souls/whatever of the UD's victims (esp Eddie) should be trapped in a dungeon, and the smoke monster/mind flayer should form into a dragon, please and thank you
ask meme here!
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Shdjdjjddjjs okay but, more buff cat hcs when ?? But seriously, i know it probably counts as crack hc but i enjoyed it way to much i cant get it out of my head anymore, i havent laught so much in a while now sjdjchdj. I sure hope the buff cat saga will continue !!
You know what? I’ll give you some buff cat content now. 😤 my school work can wait. And trust me, the buff cat saga WILL continue. I just tend to work on requests first rather than my own wants haha.
I’m really happy you like buff cat! Buff cat is my life now. Constantly haunted by buff cat. Maybe one day I’ll introduce a girlfriend or friends for buff cat too 🤔
Maybe I’ll do a background about buff cat and how they met MC?? And why buff cat is so attached to MC? I don’t know. 👉👈 maybe if someone requests, otherwise I’ll just do whatever I feel like in the moment.
Anyone can also feel free to request any buff cat scenarios!! If not I’ll think of some up. THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY. I WROTE THIS LIKE 1 HOUR OR SOMETHING STRAIGHT AHA.
The boys react to buff cat teaching you
Lucifer
Lucifer had noticed your grades were improving recently, and wanted to take you out to eat for working so hard to both keep up with your class.
When he came to your room, he saw a scene that honestly shouldn’t of surprised him, but did anyways.
You were sitting at your desk, books sprawled across the entire surface area of it. On top of a book pile was buff cat, wearing a pair of glasses, and he was using a pointer to show you important parts you should remember.
He watched in awe as you two never exchanged any words, but you were scribbling down definitions and important notes, while buff cat turned the pages and reviewed your work.
He’s gotten fairly use to buff cat cooking, cleaning, intimidating others, but he has never seen buff cat act like a teacher before, it was sort of new, and he even had a teacher outfit.
He swears that he never sees you buying these outfits, or that people in the devildom actually sell muscular cat clothing.
Buff Cat is the first to break the silence, looking over at Lucifer and positioning his pointer at Lucifer’s head, and then to in front of your desk.
You were still focused on your studying, knowing that you were steadily improving. Buff Cat got out a notepad from one of your desk drawers, and wrote “Leave what you require on this note, I am instructing MC right now, and when we are done tutoring I will give this note to them.”
Lucifer ended up having to take a rain check on taking you out to eat, and learned that your cat has really advanced vocabulary.
Mammon
He was failing the majority of his classes, and ended up asking you for help. You were his best shot, and you seemed to be passing all of your classes with flying colours.
You said you were happy to help him! Except that someone else was actually helping you study. They were a very efficient teacher.
He was relieved to hear that you’d introduce your teacher to him, until he found out it was that fucking demon spawn from hell.
He screeched so hard and ran out of the room, crying like a girl. “aAAAAaaaaAAAH”
Mammon is terrified of buff cat, and now you’re telling him this cat has the intelligence of a genius? You came to the devildom like a few months ago how is this cat tutoring you and making you pass your classes with ease??
He swears your cat is trying to plot for world domination or something. Will NEVER ask you to study with him again.
Leviathan
You walked into Levi’s room trying to find buff cat. It was a Sunday, which was typically a boys night out between them, but it was getting pretty late and you need to study.
There was a test tomorrow on devildom history, and you wanted to review one more time with buff cat, as to make sure you’ll do well on it.
“Mr. Kitty, are you here?” You called out, as soon as you said that Buff Cat paused the game and ran up to you. Levi was slightly annoyed as Buff Cat was beating a hard level for him, but he is your cat above all else.
You smiled as Buff Cat greeted you, and apologised for interrupting them. You explained to Levi how you wanted to review for the test, and if it wasn’t an issue could he spare around 20 minutes?
Levi huffed and agreed and called you a normie, and was about to pick up his switch when your words finally set in.
You put down the book you were carrying and got out a pencil, and took a piece of paper out of the book. You began writing down all of the important stuff on the paper while Buff Cat watched over your shoulder.
When you were finished, he went into the book with you and showed you a couple things you’ve missed or had forgotten, and then got you to write it down three times each as to remember. He even wrote a few essay questions for you which you got.
Levi was impressed. Not only did Buff Cat seem to know the whole devildom history by heart, he knew the exact pages and lines, and even how to write.
He didn’t really care as long as Buff Cat beats the hard level for him. He just considers it to be cool.
Satan
Satan was impressed with your high grades. It must be hard for a human to suddenly learn about a whole new realm, right? So if you had Cs he would understand, but you were getting 97s and 94s.
He understood everything when he started to notice what kind of books Buff Cat had been reading in his room, recently.
You all were having a test on curses soon, and Buff Cat came by his room and began looking for books about curses, and similar ones to what you all had been learning about.
Satan ended up chuckling to himself and found it amusing. It was amazing how your cat even spent his free time coming to someone’s room, finding books for your tests, and reads them before going back to you to help you understand the content.
He likes to get coffee with Buff Cat and talk about the stuff you’re learning in classes, he never directly said it to you, but he helps Buff Cat find specific books when Buff Cat comes over.
Asmodeous
Lucifer decided to punish the house of lamentations by taking away all of their electronics after they did something stupid again. The only way to earn it back, was through getting an 80% or higher on their next test.
You and Asmo suffered because you would normally look up answer during your test, and Asmo had no social media or contact with any of his friends with benefits.
You two weren’t ashamed to beg Buff Cat for help to pass your next test. He was probably the smartest in the house. He goes to Satan’s room almost every day and purchased books when he goes out. Your cat even tutored you when you were in elementary school.
You and Asmo barely needed to convince Buff Cat, as he was ecstatic to help you again. He’d do anything to help you, and was even willing to help Asmo out as well.
Asmo thought that Buff Cat looked REALLY adorable in his teacher’s outfit. A suit, tie, glasses, and his claws were so shiny from their manicure earlier.
Buff cat even slicked his fur back to look like he gel’d his hair. He was a literal fashion icon. Asmo could do some sewing, but nothing to the degree Buff Cat did.
Buff Cat had so many outfits he made himself, and he even did them so quickly. They all turned out perfect. Oh right, this was about studying wasn’t it?
Asmo never really asked questions about why your cat could just be so smart, and more so focused on how cool your cat looked. Priorities.
Beelzebub
Beel and Buff Cat are gym buddies, so naturally they’d walk home together from the gym. Everything was fine until Buff Cat’s MC senses were tingling, and began to walk towards you, crouching down in a store trying to figure out which notebooks to buy.
Beel thought it was pretty cool Buff Cat knew where you were, like how he and Belphie were that close to each other.
Brel asked you what you were doing, and you explained that you wanted to get some new notebooks because your old one is messy and confusing. You just scribbled whatever you could down, and were having a bit of a hard time in class.
Buff Cat immediately perked up, and you two seemed to have a conversation. He meowed and you happily said “I’d love that!”
Apparently, Buff Cat had offered to tutor you. Beel wasn’t so sure how well your cat could teach, though, considering he still is a cat, and offered to help you as well, since he wouldn’t like to see you sad from overworking yourself.
He was scribbling notes alongside with you five minutes into your first session together. Buff Cat wrote such simple explanations, and even prepared notecards ahead of time, Beel forgot he was supposed to teach you.
He is pretty fine with Buff Cat teaching you both, and once again forgets that Buff Cat is a “normal”? cat and not some weird creature that knows the answer to life.
Belphegor
Is really fucking terrified of your buff cat. Like TERRIFIED. So when he sees your cat in a teacher’s outfit sitting at the dinning room table, teaching you math, he was frozen.
He came down to get a glass of milk but what is this. Do you- do you have to do it in the living room?
There is no other reaction than physical fear coursing through his body his adrenaline is at the highest and his fight or flight instincts kick in.
He’s already fought once and that caused Buff Cat to exist in constant Buff form around him, so you can bet he is running.
Probably has a group chat with Mammon and Luke. “Buff Cat Conspiracy”. They talk about how scary buff cat is.
Diavolo
Buff Cat told Diavolo he was the one who helped you study. They were having conversation (buff cat used a notebook) and the topic of your studies came up. He mentioned how he had been helping you study, and understand the terminology in the Devildom better.
He was happy to hear that you understood it, and that it wasn’t too complicated for either of you too.
He actually asks if he can watch your study sessions, to see if he needs to lighten your workload just in case you’re pushing yourself too much.
You two allow him to watch, and he’s giving soft claps and smiles as the two of you give it your best.
Is honestly very happy with how much you two get along, and how you say it’s very simple since Buff Cat explains(meows) it in a very efficient manner.
He already knew Buff Cat was smart, but haha. Maybe he should hire Buff Cat to be a teacher or support class teacher for RAD?
Barbatos
You had grown accustomed to the devildom these past few months, and with Buff Cat with you, you were allowed to freely explore it when you want.
Buff Cat also happens to have a spare key to open the castle when he wishes.
Exam/testing season was coming up, and you knew you couldn’t study at the house of lamentation.
It was very distracting, and so you decided to go to the castle. No one will be screaming there, or trying to convince you your cat is a weird entity trying to plot world domination.
Barbatos was sort of used to seeing Buff Cat come and go as he pleases, but why were you here? Before he could say anything, you told him that you were visiting to study! And that you hope he didn’t mind that Buff Cat was going to tutor you.
Alright, so you’re studying, but why at the castle? You had to explain that it was very distracting at the house of lamentations, and Mammon was trying to convince you to get rid of your cat 24/7.
Ah, he could see that. Your cat isn’t exactly normal, and Mammon does occasionally scream like a girl. I promise I love Mammon. But it’s not like he minded, so long as you two were quiet and actually studied.
He left to clean for a bit, and when he returned to the guest room he saw you wearing a headband, violently writing down and muttering definitions at an insane pace. Buff Cat was in a teacher’s outfit, and holding out flash cards.
He’s slightly taken aback, but doesn’t show it anywhere on his face. He has never seen you so serious before, and neither has he seen Buff Cat so focused on you, as well.
He’s quite proud of you two for your hard work and dedication. He doesn’t interrupt but instead pours you three cups of tea, Buff Cat thanks him, and watches over you two.
Solomon
Solomon invited you over for a study session. He may be a little shady, but he does care for you, as a fellow human.
He was ecstatic to see Buff Cat come with you, because he still wants to dissect your cat.
He was about to talk to you about letting him research you cat, but you made yourself comfortable on his bed, and Buff Cat began to put on glasses and take out a pointer.
He didn’t have anytime to talk beforehand, as you were highlighting certain areas of your book, your cat pointing to certain parts, and you patted the bed beside you for Solomon to join.
Solomon’s plans to dissect your cat are set back another day, but he takes great interest in the way he teaches. Your cat is very methodical about how to remember things, and explains(meows) it rather simply.
He swears that your cat is not a normal human cat, but why can he sense literally zero magic power from it? If only Buff Cat could teach him that.
Solomon also gets 100% on the next test by remembering everything the way Buff Cat had taught you two.
Simeon
Absolutely chaotic man, when he sees you and Buff Cat in a classroom when school was over, he approached you two, and said hello.
You greeted him, and so did Buff Cat. He asked what you were doing after school so late, and that it was dangerous for the two of you. Buff Cat not so much but could still be in danger.
You told him you were studying for the upcoming test, and that Buff Cat was helping you.
Simeon was like!!! 💖👉👈💖💖💖💖🥰🥰🥺🥺 could I join?? This sounds so fun!! Buff Cat is so smart!!
He does not question the fact he’s studying with a cat, learning from a cat, or just how nice your cat can write on paper, like perfect handwriting.
He has such chaotic energy that he’s just like you, what a cute cat!
Luke
no.
just no.
he’s fine with your cat but does your cat have to be in buff form when you’re being taught?
he is happy you are getting good grades but please get him away from buff form buff cat.
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acidmatze · 5 years
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Theres a thing I havent seen anyone mention about autism on here before. MAybe Im not looking in the right places. Or its not an autism thing at all, who knows...
Anyway.. the thing when you want to say something, explain anything or whatever and the words just... dont come out right. Half of the stuff that was planned to be said or written is missing.Or it is there but... slightly to the left. Didnt go as aplanned. Didnt convey the message that was meant to be said because somehow the words didnt come. Or its just.. Nothing happens. nothing is said or written because I am utterly lost on how to say what I want to say. Years ago I read that allegedly autistic people think in pictures. Not sure if thats true for the majority but I think in concepts. Which isnt.. pictures.. its also not words. Its.. Whole. And every time i have to communicate, entire concepts have to be translated into words. Which is not going well Which can result in: Being unnecessarily rude Leaving out important information Odd word choice Stopping abruptly and not continuing Leaving the other person with the feeling that the core is still missing Saying the same thing over and over again Stripping something very complex down to just a few words
The latter in particular was something my teachers noticed when I was writing essays. We had to write pretty complex essays and while everyone else wrote pages upon pages i normally was done in 20 minutes and had about half a page. The essay in itself wasnt better or worse than everyone elses but my teacher frequently commented on how I managed to break a complex thing down to its bare essentials and only a few very brisk sentences. It never was what I actually wanted to write. The stuff in my head was far more complex and wouldve filled several pages, like my classmates wrote. But translating it into words is the hard part so in order to not get confused and frustrated i had to be fast and write the whole thing as quick as possible. There are more reasons but once again I cant find the words to explain it
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journeyanddream · 7 years
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The Lurking Doom
Section II of the GAMSAT was my strongest and most confident section because writing is what i’ve practiced the most and I’ve also contemplated about it quite extensively...i attribute this to my sheer ability to “pull crap out of my ass” and “stretch an argument to the point of no return”. I was equipped with the creativity and imagination to do so; and it has always been this way. It was the norm for me to stretch topics, if i was given “creativity”, I can begin to talk about imagination and the ability to think and create, then I can proceed to talk about mortals trying to play god by delaying death and relieve suffering through medicine. Yet i could talk about the corrupted and flawed nature about creations, and how all of these are subjected to our own flaws: greed...like when Martin Shrekli, the CEO of a pharmaceutical company who inflated the price of a life saving drug by 5000%...and i could go on and on and on. This is me, and this is how i write, a inclination and clingingness towards philosophy and intangible concepts that are often embedded deep within our consciousness; yeah, i like to go there. 
I’ve written somewhere between 60-70 essays of varying length across 3 months time, not too impressive, and not that bad either, although i was aiming for at least 1 a day (obviously didn’t happen). I’d love to think all of these practices had made me a moderately capable writer if not good...but it didn’t seem to matter a single bit when you are under massive amount of stresses. The topics i was given in my tests were something I’d never seen, heard or even thought about before (celebrity and media); GREAT! definitely a good start. To write about something you’ve never thought about before was no easy task; my mind was as blank as the pages in front of me: crispy, white and without a word. I had spent the last 3 months writing about politics, humanity, emotions, life, death and love and now you want me to write about celebrity? Are we talking about Kanye West or Katy Perry here? It took me longer than usual to get a feel, despite my grandest effort. I’ve tried to focus by closing my eyes and think in my head, I sat there with my head tilted back and yet nothing worthy comes in mind: I could just write about how celebrities are great, they make movies and musics; and how media is awesome it delivers news to us, Oh! what a wonderful time; but they are simply not good enough, not much of an “argument”. It is always easier to find flaws and argue against something than to do the opposite. I immediately started my plan without hesitation: “Media is flawed, those who don’t read news are uninformed, those who do read are misinformed” and “Celebrity culture provides unrealistic expectations and stereotypes to our youth” were central arguments for both my topics. Doesnt sound bad right? but the hard bit is to convey what’s in my mind onto paper with flair. I was stuck on the first paragraph, every word choice and sentence structure seemed and felt inadequate, i disliked the notion of my essays from the very onset. However, it was not a good time to play “Let’s see who can find the best words” or “The perfectionist”, i just have to write, write anything down so i can actually finish on time. there were all pens and inks, light scratching and scrapings against the lines, it was a metaphysical transformation of materializing intangible thoughts into tangible inks. 
“You have 30 minutes left for section II”. 
I freaked out. I was barely onto my third paragraph and i was no where near finished. I knew instantly i had to compromise and cut short to move onto conclusion immediately. The conclusion was short, unsophisticated and lacks flair (but some conclusion is better than no conclusion right?). Without a break, immediately move on to task B and i decided to skip planning and go straight into it. I looked at the clock, roughly 20minutes for an essay. However, instead of carrying the momentum from the last essay, i spent yet another 5 minutes, i was stuck once again. Celebrities are not even on my radar and i havent given any attentions on these subject matter for long. “I hate the Kardashians and Taylor Swift had shitty songs”...is this good enough for an argument? At last i had decided to write about “the false representation and expectations of beauty and the associated danger with celebrity induced plastic surgeries”. But using sophisticated languages and analysis was hard on this one. Before i know i had to cut short again: with a full lengthed introduction, a full lengthed paragraph 1, a paragraph 2 that is barely longer than the conclusion that was 2-3sentences long. Abysmal! I didn’t finish! Again! I had managed to use up every second of the writing task, right until it was “pen down” time. I just sat there...my body leaned back, i was drained physically and emotionally...my hands are still throbbing with pain and pulsing rapidly from the intense writing.
At that moment, i knew i had gotten myself in a “shit storm”. Section 1 was horrendous and I had to guess 20 or so questions due to time allowance...section 2 was horrific with a poor time management, unseen question and underperformance of my usual self...i think im seeing a trend here: a trend that pronounces my failure and my inadequacy for medicine, a piece of test paper that is much alike my death sentence notice that will kill me from the inside out.  “If you don’t even possess an average performance, who are you to even dare to challenge the realm of medicine?”. Perhaps i should reconsider everything and finally realise I am not as talented, not as smart and not as hard working as I perceived. I was certain, regardless of my performance in section three, I am scoring below 50th percentile (that is, I am worse than half the students here, even after pouring out so much money to buy preparation materials and classes). I sat there, unable to move and speak...I wanted to leave so bad, what’s the point of sitting for rest of the test if I am just going to humiliate myself more and reveal more flaws. I felt a heat radiating to my face and head, my hands hang numbly from the side, resisting the temptation to just stand up, slam the desk and scream “F**K You! F**K you all! Screw this test! You are all C**TS and Im OUTTA HERE!, IM DONE” ... but i cannot, despite my rampaging instincts, my consciousness kept me in check, i had to sit through this to the very end no matter what. I’ve never believed in luck, regardless of how many times i come across the phrase “You’d never know, you might just get really good without knowing!”...i really don’t. I am a realist and a pessimist. No one in the world is going to miracally guess all 40 questions correct with a perfect score...no one. I believe in performance and hard work because those things will tell you and show “you’ve done well”...but sadly today wasn’t the day for that. 
I sit quietly....and waited for section III. Is it going to be even bloodier and gory than what i just endured? I questioned.
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insarations · 6 years
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Here’s this survey thing
1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. dont use itunes anymore so spotify but same thing...santeria by sublime. she likes girls by metro station. different people by no doubt. we can make love by SoMo. when the end comes by andrew belle. my humps by tbep XD
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Gwen Stefani, no doubt ;) :D
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. "yeah" he said. The light turned green. I braced myself.
4) What do you think about most? um well it depends on the day and time and what not but I guess lately just a certain person. and also about traveling and where I wanna go.
5) Ever had a poem or song written about you? yes both
6) Do you have any strange phobias? eh not really strange..theyre all pretty common
7) What's your religion? Christian/non-denom
8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? walking to the car or inside XD
9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? No Doubt
10) What was the last lie you told? hmm honestly i'm not sure. I'm not really the lying type
11) Do you believe in karma? ehh... in a sense but idk
12) What does your URL mean? um well its part of my middle name... play on the word daydreams...cause i daydream alot lol
13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? i hate that question lol
14) Who is your celebrity crush? it changes alot but currently Anna Kendrick
15) How do you vent your anger? depends. lately I workout. but sometimes I draw or paint or listen to music or just sleep really. sometimes i just reblog things on tumblr or write something
16) Do you have a collection of anything? um kinda... vans, i used to have a lot more cause I worked there but i guess i dont really anymore. books and dvds. um hmm...i feel like i used to collect something else but cant think of it
17) Are you happy with the person you've become? for the most part, yes. theres always room for improvement :)
18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? hate-utensils scratching on a plate. love-my cats purring
19) What's your biggest "what if"? ugh, stop.
20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both...but probably in different sorts of ways than most people believe in them.
21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. right-beanbag chair. left-box of cheezits
22) Smell the air. What do you smell? the macncheese i just ate
23) What's the worst place you have ever been to? hmm good question... idk really. i've enjoyed pretty much all the places ive traveled to
24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? uh hmm no one comes to mind atm haha. im too gay i suppose XD but i guess ill say zayn
25) To you, what is the meaning of life? please dont get me started. i could write an essay
26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? well yes i drive but dont have my license... never crashed.
27) What was the last movie you saw? Pitch Perfect 3!!!! so amazing
28) What's the worst injury you've ever had? when I broke both arms at once
29) Do you have any obsessions right now? its something new all the time really im always obsessing haha i guess anna kendrick
30) Ever had a rumor spread about you? ugh yes
31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? not usually..it depends. a lot of times its not even a grudge..i forgive easy but bitter feelings stay a while in certain instances
32) What is your astrological sign? aquarius
33) What's the last thing you purchased? a movie ticket
34) Love or lust? L.O.V.E.
35) In a relationship? nope
36) How many relationships have you had? 4...and a 1/2 XD long story
37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? um just be myself..not really a weapon lol
38) Where is your best friend? i dont even know who that is anymore :/
39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? sleeping
40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? yes i think so..id probably annoy myself at somepoint. hell i already do lol but im alright XD
41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? stop, help the dog. animals are just as important as people. if someone cant understand that oh well. i cant always find another job. but animals are life.
42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? probably those most important to me b) What do you do with your remaining days? quit work. go traveling. spend time with my favorite people and my animals and eat a whole hell of a lot lol c) Would you be afraid? maybe a tad at first but i'm not too afraid of dying, I know i'd be with God and away from the pain of this world. i'd moreso be a little afraid of the pain i might possibly have while still alive
43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? hollback girl :D
44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? so many things but just... two people that love each other that click and mesh and would do anything for each other and just make each other happy and take care of each other... alot of things i suppose though.
45) How can I win your heart? hmm. just be yourself. be respectful. be sweet. be funny..even if in your own dorky awkward way. be kind and thoughtful. put me first just as much as i put you first. just be genuine and real and true and never lie to me. just, be real.
46) Can insanity bring on more creativity? oh yes
47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? hmm damn what a question. honestly.... I really don't know the answer to that. not that i havent made good decisions. but... idk what was the best. gotta think on that.
48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? hmm ive never thought about it lol honestly when i'm gone...do whatever the hell you want haha but i guess if i had to choose..something about my kindness or uniqueness ? idk i try to be kind and different lol
49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart." cant say right now
50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? purple, black, silver, blue
51) What is your current desktop picture? its just black no picture not sure why i havent changed it
52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? thats horrible. honestly i wouldnt do that to anyone..even the people i dislike most. well actually, maybe donald trump XD but no still even then i dont think i could do it even though i'm sure itd make america great again XD
53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? hmm honestly idk im a very honest person
54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? those are too many words you couldnt just ask me what superpower i want?? XD so now i'm gonna be a bitch and not answer
55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? um. its between two. both of which involve time with someone important..cant choose which
56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? losing people that were important to me
57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? hmm i guess if i had to choose right this second... anna kendrick.. pretty sure ive mentioned her like a hundred times in this survey
58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? right now ummm...boston
59) Ever been on a plane? many times
60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. Anna Kendrick. Channing Tatum. Jennifer Lawrence. Nicole da Silva. michelle rodriguez
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Just a ramble... 
I have decided that to keep my sanity, that i will want to finish the DP by the time I go back to school. Which is in August.. I am almost done with a lot of it, but I still havent read 2 of the required books. I’m half way done with History of Pagan Europe, and I do enjoy the history of it, its just very dense. I find I can only read 10-20 pages at a time before my brain is just mush. *eye roll* 
I am very thankful that now i have a lot more energy, because of my arthritis shot/meds. It’s been wonderful and im able to sit and type with out my hands feeling like they have been smacked with hammers. 
I have been thinking alot about using some of this energy on making a proto-grove, but at the same time my luck with trying to do any pagan gatherings is not so good. Its not like i dont have experience planning, and organizing events. It just feels the pagans/wiccans in my town just dont want to network or get out of their comfort zones. Most of the time its very frustrating. Maybe with the name of an organization behind the meet up it would give more people confidence? Who knows. Another hang up, is if I do move for school, what will happen? I think Husband and I are the only ADF members here, and there is only like 5 of us in the state. lol Ill see. 
I have been doing much better with meditation. I had a self imposed rule that I would need to meditate for a certain amount of time, (20) minutes or it wont count. But I am forcing my stupid brain to calm down and now I do mini-meditations every day. Just stopping, and feeling the energy and the relaxing. It has been so enjoyable and I am not stressed out about it. I also printed out a short devotional to do every week, which i like but might re-write to be more me. 
Once I get the final drafts of my essays done, ill post the long versions of what I wrote. I am incapable of writing anything short and sweet, as you can see from this post and the last ones. I am not good at focusing on one facet of stone, i want to look at it all. 
Wish me luck!
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