#and that had... awful consequences (ty abusive family)

[teddybeirin]

Honey, I know you're scared but you're lucky you have people outside the abusive circle who love you. I had nobody. Maybe you need to take a leap of faith and ask them for help, truly. You can't keep living like this. Just now it's a kind of awful stop gap but don't let it become permanent. I know you have to be careful rn but this is no way to be living. I know you want to protect those who love you because you love them but something has to give. You're going to have keep your wits about you and figure out your next move, but I know this is easier said than done. But please don't give up. Your mom is a monster. Don't let her win. That's why she's doing this because by leaving you managed to gain the upper hand and as bullies don't like this, she's upping the ante. She is a sick fuck and a coward. If you have somebody or people who may be prepared to help you, who are aware of the situation and possible danger presented by your mom, who are prepared to get you out of there PROPERLY and on your feet and give you that time to get cleaning job or whatever - you seem very hardworking etc - then take your chance, sweetheart.

I'm sorry for the long letter but I had no help and it nearly killed me. But I got out by skin of my teeth because I knew I was doomed anyways if I stayed. But you have your safety and others safety to consider I know. I just hope and will you to get out for good, to not give up.

i am lucky, this is true the people who love me have changed my life for the better in ways i cant even put into words. i can say honestly that enduring this long has been worth it just for the warmth from my loved ones, who feel so much more like family than blood-family there are limits to what you can do for someone when you live oceans away. there are limits to what you can do, when you are struggling yourself. there are limits to what you can do with regards to money, energy, time, level of risk taken on. if my loved ones could have scooped me up out of here a la prince on a white horse im completely certain they would have done so already i cant go back to the place i lived before even knowing the favorable circumstance w/ regards to that. my mother was completely confident about coming to take me back, she knows the address, itd be a repeat of the same - probably not even waiting for an excuse if im very unlucky. i can't afford to take a leap of faith the worst that can happen is not that someone would say no - it's that someone would decide for me that the way to go is to involve the authorities, which isnt safe for me so long as i am here with nowhere else i can go, at a moment's notice or otherwise. it is hours to the nearest shelter. even if i were out of here, even if i decide i dont give a goddamn if they get into trouble for their own evil choices, i cant afford to take anyone to court, and even if everyone believed me and i didnt end up as yet another villainized abuse victim, it still wouldnt make me any more secure in having a place to live, and it isnt a means to gaining housing. not only that, there's more to take into account: what happens when my mother who is pretending to be not evil is no longer constantly watching what the workers who care for my sibling do to someone who the authorities will never believe? if that doesnt make sense for being too vague, i can say what i mean more clearly by tying it to something else: opportunistic predatory adults outside my home took advantage of me every time i let it slip that nobody gave a shit what happens to me. it's important to maintain the illusion of having people who care about what happens to you if you dont want people to take advantage of the easiest target in clear view. unless i can personally be someone who they know to fear consequences from, breathing down their necks, there will be consequences for unraveling my mother's webs of lies. they already don't treat my sibling as they should. it's not only my own safety i risk with every mistake. even if i decide to say fuck it, seek the help of others even though i know wherever i go if my family finds me they will do their best to do more harm, including to people who help me, it's not just the weight of guilt for that - but for my siblings, only one of which has escaped completely and isnt in any danger from family anymore, the other is totally and completely still at their mercy despite physically not living in the same house anymore, and nobody counts his words for anything because he's intellectually disabled - even when the authorities get involved, which they have been too many times for me to even count anymore, nobody believes him or me or maybe they just didnt care, either way, the outcome is the same.

even if i tossed all that aside and shirked my sense of morality that i know is all tied up in misplaced blame and living under the gaslight since birth, i dont have room for mistakes for my own sake either. im already physically so fucked up from just under a month of not even the worst theyve done, if it escalates further, i dont know. ive managed to just walk off tons of blood loss before, but that was a miracle, and i was more well-fed then. there's nowhere for me to go if i fuck up and don't have another place to go lined up.

my work went up in flames, i have no income right now and have to figure that out running on less than empty, and i have the option of trying to raise funds for escape again but again, it's more than money constraints, i have to figure out so many things and none of these decisions are small

ive promised my loved ones repeatedly im not going to give up, and i dont feel like breaking it at all. im going to keep trying. but it's really, really, really not a matter of willpower. i have that in spades.

im glad that you got out and i hope that you remain safe for the rest of your life and never ever have to endure abuse again. i know that everything you say comes from the heart and from a good place, of wanting me to be well, and of rooting for someone whose struggle you see your own in - i dont want to discount that by talking about how impossible everything looks right now for me, at all!!

i wish i could come up with a better reply. i dont want to go "so true, will do!!" when i know all the reasons i cant do, you taking the time to encourage me is so meaningful to me that i want to be nothing but sincere.

[hargrove-mayfields]

No, see, this is the point where I now come into your ask box /begging/ you to give me even a single religious Neil headcannon in exchange for my entire heart ❤️🤲

Ahh thank you for the ask! I’ve been wanting to ramble abt this! Here’s a few hcs for you!

-The number one most important one I think is that Billy is left handed. We all know the association between left handed folks and the devil and it would tick Neil off to no end when they notice that little Billy is tying his shoes left handed and picking up crayons and sippy cups with his left hand, so he trains Billy to use the right one instead through typical Neil fashion. His mother never let Neil hit him but he definitely scared him through threats of it, and when that doesn’t work he breaks his left arm so he can’t use it and pretends it was just an accident. Billy learns his lesson and starts forcing himself to use the right hand, but because of the constant focus on using the wrong hand or facing the consequences he develops pretty bad dyslexia. If you’ve got dyslexia you can’t read the Bible, so Neil tries everything he can to cure him of it (making Billy pray it away, forcing him into every educational church related program he can find, beating it out of him) but it only makes it worse. It takes him years after moving out of Neil’s place to be comfortable using his left hand for anything and even then he’s still mostly ambidextrous because there’s some things he just can’t shake using the right for.

-They have bibles literally everywhere in the Hargrove-Mayfield house. One on every bookshelf, in every drawer, on every side table, and whenever Billy or Max get in trouble for minor things they get verses read to them (in Billys case because of the dyslexia he has to read them himself and it always goes terribly) and forced to apologize to whoever is punishing them, whoever they wronged, and to God.

-Their church had a pastor who tried to be like, very hip with the kids but he was truly a nasty s.o.b under the surface. Neil was very close friends with this dude so he was able to get Billy one-on-one sessions with him after the church cleared out, and they are, very tough to sit through because he’s got this facade of being Billy’s friend, but he’s saying terrible things about him because of who he is (I hc that Billy outed himself before he realized the consequences of it as a little, little kid) and it’s so confusing to him that he ends up just bawling his eyes out after every one. His faith in the church is shaky at best, but he really internalizes a lot of what that man says to him because of the way he presents it. When the pastor moves on to another church and they get this new old guy in who’s genuinely really nice, Billy's still terrified of him regardless and sits through every service unable to look to the front.

-Bible school was absolutely mandatory. Most kids would go to have fun, but Billy didn’t like the church, and he couldn’t really click with the other kids. Making a prayer pillow and listening to the creepy kid friendly songs and reading in the Jonah and the whale tent just wasn’t cool and exciting like it was to his peers and he feels so isolated. So he sneaks off to go chill in the nursery where he can be alone and it’s not suffocating and crowded, but Neil wants updates since he can’t be there, and he knows Billy’s lying about attending because he asked the ladies in charge of it. As punishment for blowing off what he considered the easy route to teaching Billy the right path to take, Billy winds up enrolled in church camp.

-Church camp sucks. A lot. It’s marketed as being a fun outdoorsy getaway but it’s a lot deeper than that for kids who don’t have a normal relationship with their religion, and especially not for kids whose counselors know they’re gay. It’s basically torture, being away from home in a secluded place where literally around him treats him like a freak because they all know his secret. It’s like, during worship times it feels like everyone’s staring at him, and nobody eats with him in the mess hall and he’s got a bunk bed all to himself because no one else is allowed to share with him and it’s awful. When he gets to come back home he breaks down hard, and Neil is smug as all hell that it had made him that miserable. Billy starts pretending then and there that he’s changed, because he knows the next step would be conversion therapy and what he’s been through was bad enough, so he basically hides away anything that was left of his personality after church camp. For the first time ever Neil’s proud of him.

-Whenever Billy would get in big trouble he’d pretend to pray. Hide in his room and get on his knees at the foot of his bed because his dad wouldn’t hit him if he’s praying, right? Wrong. Neil started making him say his prayers out loud, and he’d stand in the door and wait for Billy to do it right. It makes the whole thing that much more unpleasant because now he knows what was inevitably coming when he got through with it, and he’d only get in more trouble if he stalled. Neil isn’t stupid either, he knows that Billys just trying to buy himself some time and he doesn’t truly mean what he’s saying, so once Billys got his punishment he makes him pray again through his tears. Just to drive the point home.

-Neil definitely made the kids do the annual Easter Pageant when they were little. It was humiliating for Billy, getting put in a reused costume and having to tell the story that’s been used against him so much. All the old church ladies fussing over how cute he is, standing up on the grassy hillside to be gawked at while Susan insisted on snapping picture after picture of her new step son even though he didn’t have any lines. It’s all just way too much. By the time he’s old enough to refuse doing it anymore Neil accuses him of tearing the family apart, ruining their traditions, embarrassing them in front of their community, but he stands his ground, and they all watch Max perform in her little angel costume, and Billy gets his ass beat as soon as it’s over.

-Their church used to have annual holiday parties for stuff like Christmas, Halloween, and Easter, and that was the only time Billy ever had any fun when it came to his religion. They weren’t the greatest little parties but there were some really tasty baked goods and the games were kind of fun because there was no underlying biblical message behind like, carrying a ping pong ball across the room with a spoon and pin the tail on the donkey. Neil doesn’t approve of them though, thinks they distract from what the church should be teaching, and Billy and Max are forbidden from going to them.

-As time goes on Billy still goes to church every Sunday and attends the holiday services but he’s not forced into the extracurriculars anymore because he’s a lot better at acting and following the rules. But I think the worst part would be that he would truly want to believe in God. Of course he’d be bitter that he’d been forced to go through so much abuse at the hands of someone who claimed to be religious, but deep down he knows that isn’t what it’s about and he doesn’t want to have to pretend that there’s something for him to believe in. He genuinely wants to believe that there’s hope for better things and someone looking out for him, but there’s just so much trauma associated with his faith that he can’t, no matter how hard he tries, and if not for everything else he did, he hates Neil so much for ruining that for him.

#answered #billy hargrove #neil hargrove #tw religion #tw child abuse #ej writer #headcanon! #hope these are what you were looking for!!

[veryvincible]

Do you think you could share some of your Tony Ty youth/relationship days hcs? hehe

Yours truly,

Tys obsessed fan

Oh boy! I have been sitting on this for a few days now, because there is, uh, a lot. Also, I adore you, and I love every Ty ask I receive.

I think this post would end up far too long if I responded the way I desire to in my heart, so I’ll keep it relatively simple (edit: it did not stay relatively simple, and also it branched out slightly into other topics. This is so very long. Be warned.)

Content warnings here for psychological/emotional abuse/domestic abuse/child abuse!

I like to think they didn’t really have a “let’s get together!” moment. I think they ended up becoming close, they were casual with each other, and it just kind of... became what it became. I think they probably ended up using labels at some point, but I don’t think there was ever an official, “Would you like to go out on a date with me?” or “Would you want to be, like, boyfriends?” moment. 

I think Tony was a generally isolated kid (obviously, he gained acquaintances like Bruce and potentially Reed as he grew older, but you know) and Ty was... probably also a generally isolated kid. Ty may have had a few other “friends” around, given what we know about him; he’s certainly charismatic. I don’t think Ty would have really developed close friendships with many people, though, given that his personality seems more rotten the closer you get to him.

We don’t see a lot of their childhood together at all, so this is almost entirely shit I’ve come up with for the sake of fic writing and general note-taking for the sake of coherency with how I write Ty, but.

One thing I tend to lean toward is the idea that Ty had kind of an awful home life. This isn’t really an, “Aw, boo, so sad, what a tragic man,” sort of thing so much as it is that... I think Ty and Tony are at their most interesting when they’re contrasting forces, and the idea of Tony (a victim of abuse who broke the cycle) becoming friends with Ty (a victim of abuse who perpetuates the cycle) at a young age, not in spite of their differences but because of them, is something I really like to think about.

We don’t actually get much of Ty’s parents in canon-- they’re kind of implied to be, like, Fine Parents. They’re contrasted with Howard Stark, who pulls the shark-eat-shark business motherfucker thing and basically causes Mr. Stone’s business to, like. Drown, or whatever. You know. The contrast there is implied, and I respect that for what it is. That being said, that’s not what interesting for me to write, and as such, I’ve chosen to tweak these little details for the sake of my more personalized (and slightly more self-indulgent) fic writing experience.

I think there’s a lot of potential in considering the differences between how they act at home as opposed to how they act with each other, too. I think Home Tony is generally apprehensive and subdued, but more uncertain and anxious than outright fearful 24/7. In IM Vol. 1, Howard was shown to be unpredictable; we got to see a lot of bad, but there were also sparkling moments wherein they seemed to be bonding as a father-son duo, and Tony would actually get to work with his father and learn from his father. I think that very well could have exacerbated the anxiety he felt, because he’s not being taught to never touch anything ever-- he’s being taught that there are very specific circumstances under which he’s able to explore as he’d like to, and those circumstances are 1) virtually impossible to accurately predict and 2) subject to change at the drop of a hat. So, Tony has been shown to be at least a little bit capable of testing the waters with what he’s allowed to do in the house and what he’s not allowed to do. That doesn’t make it any less anxiety-inducing, it just makes him a tiny, tiny bit of a more active child than one who’s constantly paralyzed.

Home Ty, to me, would be the opposite-- he is fearful 24/7, and as such, his behavior as a child is kind of... flawless, at least in the eyes of parents who think that children should be seen, not heard (and sometimes not even seen). I think both of his parents were abusive-- his father more so than his mother, but certainly both of them, if only because I think it would be yet another nice contrast between him and Tony, whose mother wasn’t perfect but certainly tried harder and felt more for Tony than Howard did. I like to think Ty was kept on a very short leash at home; boundaries were predictable, there were no “glimmering moments” he could grasp onto in order to make him feel like there was ever a chance of having normal family dynamics, and he was too afraid to really... do anything about it.

In contrast, I think Boarding School Ty was probably a lot pushier, a lot more risk-taking, and generally just... took up more space. I think he was still pretty fearful of authority and nervous about punishment, but he was well aware of the fact that this was distinctly different from being at home and that most people at school didn’t give a flying fuck about him. It likely could have been both liberating and anxiety inducing for someone so used to being around people who found it important to control him. I think he was probably pretty manipulative at this point, but I don’t think it was at the point where you would point to him and go, “Oh, what a fucked up, toxic person!”, especially since he was, like... a little fucking dude. Like, a fucking young’un. But I think the seeds were sort of planted here, and given that he had no healthy relationships to model himself after, he worked off of the assumption that in order to have control as opposed to being controlled, he needed to 1) possess things, 2) protect them aggressively, and 3) make sure his authority wasn’t threatened.

Boarding School Tony (from what little we’ve seen of him, though we can imagine he was probably similar to pre-boarding school Tony for a while, just with more Issues now) was probably the opposite-- less willing to take up space and less willing to take risks. It’s not unimaginable to assume that he might have thought his (extremely) mild exploratory tendencies might have had something to do with the abandonment, and he very well could have adjusted accordingly; if him causing trouble for people was what pushed his parents to leave him, he would very simply not cause trouble. A lot of this is nabbed from Adult Tony tendencies, wherein pretty much everyone else is prioritized over himself and he’s practically incapable of finding himself worthy of anything at all.

It’s the classic “extrovert friend-adopts an introvert” trope, except... it’s a severely damaged child feeling gutsy enough to finally, finally take up space and find something to possess and control for his own for once... friend-adopting a severely damaged child who very likely feels like the best way to proceed in relationships is to very clearly identify boundaries, figure out what it is the other person wants from him, and try to adhere to those desires as much as he’s able.

Of course, canon portrays the relationship as a “friendly rivalry” that Ty takes much more seriously than Tony does. From what we’ve seen of Tony, though, Tony doesn’t actually want to be better than anyone. In fact, he tries his best to make it seem like the opposite. He treats everyone like they’re on the same level, he tries to simplify the concepts he’s explaining so no one feels inferior to him, and, generally, he just... isn’t much of a braggart. That isn’t to say competitive/proud people can’t be kind and gentle and want to level the playing field often, but in Tony’s case, it seems that competition is best for two things: 1) having two intelligent, capable people trying to outdo each other and, in the process, creating better and better technology for the betterment of society at large, and 2) lighthearted fun.

For Ty, it very clearly wasn’t just lighthearted fun, and I think most of their childhood rivalry would have become formulaic at a point: Tony would put a good amount of effort into their competitions, but if it seemed that Ty was lagging behind too much, Tony would simply back off and let things even out. I don’t think Ty was predictably a sore loser; in fact, I think he was unpredictable, and I think a part of Tony that had only known life to be unpredictable found some level of sick comfort in that.

For Tiberius Stone specifically, I tend to read more into the unintended consequences/implications of his character based on one-off lines that... weren’t really intended to say much. The story canon gives us isn’t incohesive, exactly! It’s a pretty good story, especially if you’re not hellbent on analyzing character motivations. There’s just a lot about Ty that doesn’t seem very stable. Obviously, he’s not a stable person, given that he, uh, freaked the fuck out and tried to take over the world. But when I say Ty doesn’t seem very stable, I mean his character doesn’t seem the most stable at a second glance; we’re given conflicting accounts about his motivations, his intentions, his past, and even what he’s trying to do in the moment. And some of these inconsistences can be found in dialogue from Ty’s own mouth.

Now, if you read into it from a point of view that’s canon-adjacent as opposed to canon-compliant (i.e., assuming there’s much more of a story there than canon offers, and canon’s “case closed!” for the timeline of Ty’s life isn’t actually a closed case), you can gauge not only some level of dysregulation, but also... a level of delusion, almost. Ty seems disconnected from reality, but it’s not like there’s one single alternate timeline of events that’s cohesive in his head. It feels like his view of the world and, most importantly, himself (and this is excluding dialogue wherein he’s explicitly lying to Tony in order to manipulate him).

Most notably, we can kind of gauge fluctuations in his own views of his self worth. He engages in constant competition with Tony, he refuses to come back to America after leaving until he’s more successful than Tony, and pretty much everything he does is to prove he’s better than Tony. So, he thinks he’s better than Tony, right?

Well, not really. Because so much of his life was spent with the understanding that he wasn’t better than Tony. That was the whole reason he was gone for so long. He said he’d come back once he’d beat Tony, and... he still hadn’t beaten Tony. The beginning of the narrative leads you to assume that he thinks his big victory was being richer somehow, but it was all a set-up to bait Tony into Dreamvision. He comes across like he wants to kill Tony at first, and when that doesn’t work, he wants to... keep Tony. Like a pet, almost. But he also wants Tony to... kill him?

It’s a lot. It’s messy. It’s inconsistent. And that’s kind of what’s interesting about it. It (unintentionally, probably) suggests that Ty doesn’t have consistent motivations, which is something you do see often in people who are in survival mode in environments that don’t necessarily warrant it. It suggests a psychological wound that’s easy to poke at.

Essentially, Ty just comes across as very... hurt. Which, y’know, doesn’t justify shit and doesn’t make him any better of a person, but it provides the opportunity for some interesting narratives to sprout. Figuring out all the ways that Tony could unintentionally pick at this psychological wound of his and all the ways Ty could poorly respond is neat, I think, and I feel like these kinds of narratives tend to be very... raw, I guess, is the word I’m looking for. They just kind of hit hard, especially for those who have experienced similar situations.

It’s just something that’s terribly common in abusive relationships-- any implication that the traumatized abuser is doing something wrong can be a trigger for a borderline nervous breakdown, which makes communication practically impossible and, if the victim of the abuse feels obligated to stick around or take on the role of caretaker, turns the relationship into a cycle of insecurity and misery on all fronts. That’s not to say the abuser and the victim are suffering equally or are equally justified/valid, but it is a kind of relationship dynamic that can be incredibly cathartic to both write and read, and it’s also just... I don’t know. It just, as the kids say, hits different.

So, rewinding about four paragraphs there (whoops, this is getting long), I think most of my feelings about youth/relationship days Ty/Tony kind of center around this concept of two suffering people handling their trauma in totally opposite ways. I think it’s especially interesting to look at it from the point of view of them as younger adults (or teenagers, or children) who aren’t so set in their ways quite yet. You see these redemptive qualities and you see these children and these teenagers who are so, so ready to be helped and saved and cared for, but with the knowledge that they just... don’t get that. Not for a long time, at least.

It can feel fatalistic from a narrative standpoint, and... I mean, it kind of is. There are very few circumstances under which I could see Ty getting a redemption arc of any kind, and that’s kind of what makes a younger Ty so tragic. Everything he does is born of insecurity and anger, and everything Tony does is born of insecurity and love.

I think (for a short period of time, at least), they molded each other. Ty’s anger and competitiveness only solidified Tony’s inferiority complex and Tony’s inability to really, genuinely stand up against Ty in a way that would make any lasting meaningful changes only cemented the idea in Ty’s head that this was an acceptable way to be.

Now that that’s out of the way, here are some more simple and concise headcanons, because you asked for them and I’m sorry this became so terribly long and broke off in so many different directions:

- I think Tony and Ty bickered a lot as they got older. I don’t think Tony was totally incapable of standing up for himself, but I do think Tony probably had a tendency to call Ty out in the moment, and when Ty became too agitated and too unreasonable, Tony just left it alone and let it settle. 

- I think Ty can play house extremely well. He probably remembers all of Tony’s favorite foods, favorite songs, favorite fabrics, favorite... I don’t know what other favorite things you could have, but you get my point. I don’t think he always used this information, but I think it would be incredibly important for him to know how to make someone feel loved, even if he didn’t always employ these methods (and in some cases, may have actively withheld certain kindnesses as acts of pettiness). I think it was also incredibly important for him to know Tony’s dislikes, for... obvious reasons.

- As I said before, I think Ty had a tendency to become terribly dysregulated; I think he was more than capable of both premeditated manipulation and unintentional manipulation. I think he very likely could have fallen into a spiral of thoughts that could make it pretty clear just how easily his self worth and his view of Tony’s worth fluctuated. 

- Tony’s just... a stronger person than Ty. That’s a given. That’s been proven. And I think a lot of Tony’s willingness to put up with Ty would have come from this idea that he was more resilient and Ty was more fragile and volatile, so if Ty needed to take shit out on him every so often, that was fair enough.

- Another factor that may have played into Tony’s tolerance of Ty’s behavior in their youth (which, again, wasn’t nearly as awful as what Ty did as a grown ass man, given how Tony responded to Ty post-Dreamvision and how he pretty much immediately broke things off-- though, I very much enjoy the concept of Tony making some effort to make amends and Ty failing to meet him in the middle yet again) could have been the fact that it feels like Ty probably didn’t have a lot of other friends at all, especially not close friends. I think Tony would very much carry the weight of this “Maybe I’m the only person in the world who loves him” mindset. He values human life quite a bit, and I believe that even on a less intimate scale, if Tony tried to view the situation through the perspective of an outsider, he would still feel terribly, terribly saddened by the very human tragedy of being forced to take more than you can reasonably handle and becoming difficult to redeem as a result of this-- not because there’s no good left in you, but because you’re so frightened by the idea of even touching the trauma that you can’t force yourself to acknowledge you have a problem to begin with.

- I don’t think Ty feels the same comfort and warmth from physical contact that most people do, not because of anything innate (i.e. a natural preference), but because the only physical contact he received for a long, long time was, uh... Awful! That being said, I think he enjoys physical contact on the basis of being the center of attention, and he probably initiated physical contact quite a bit. I think Tony’s very big on physical contact, and Ty would very much play into Tony’s preferences here, too. Just to make himself seem like a better, more attentive boyf.

- This one is less tragic-- I think Ty and Tony get pretentious together! While I adore in-canon comparisons between Tony and the rest of high society, I also think a long-forgotten part of Tony’s character in fanon is the fact that he really does fit in with a more yacht-having crowd just as much as he fits in with your average Joes. He was raised by them and with them, after all, and his education was shaped by this. Of course he doesn’t love a lot of the culture around it, but with regards to the more harmless aspects of being a privileged kid in the environment he was in (the experiences one might have that aren’t inherently negative, that is, like having certain extracurriculars or being exposed to certain educational content), I think Ty and Tony really mesh here. Tony’s sense of humor with Ty would be totally different from his sense of humor with someone like Steve, which would also be totally different from his sense of humor with someone like Rumiko. Tony’s incredibly well-rounded, and I think he could match Ty’s Classics-loving, borderline classical theater kid tendencies very well.

- This one is 100% headcanon, based on virtually nothing other than, like, one comic panel... that isn’t even awesome evidence. It’s just a personal hc. I think Ty’s gay. Like, obviously, he’s gay for Tony, w/e. But I think Ty’s gay as in, Ty is exclusively attracted to men. The only women he ever had eyes for (or showed interest in) were the women that Tony had shown interest in/dated first, implying that there’s more of a possessive/competitive aspect than anything really... genuine. Of course, that doesn’t mean he can’t be bi, pan, or anything else (or straight, obviously, but this whole post is about him and a guy he likes to fuck, so that doesn’t really fit into the theme, here), but I prefer to write him as someone who’s only really interested in men (Tony specifically), and I prefer to write Tony as a bisexual man with a preference for women. This wasn’t really intended to be a big contrast between them; I had the headcanon for Tony already set in stone (haha), and for a long while I wrote Ty as a bi man, but recently I’ve kind of shifted things around to better accommodate my feelings about these characters.

- I love, love, love tattooed Ty. Get this man a quote in Latin on the base of his neck. Get this man some symbolic tattoos. Let this man be a poet who simultaneously wants to appear profound for appearances and wants to have these symbols on his body just because he likes them, and he likes to look at them, and they feel reflective of who he is. I have very specific Ty tattoo thoughts that I do not remember at all, but this is the gist of it.

- I think Ty handles the “normal” adventurous stuff, but he’s far more of a, uh... I don’t know, a pussy? than Tony is. Tony deals with actual threats; Ty deals with fake, stupid threats. Ty is the guy who rids the dorms of cockroaches when Tony’s too afraid to and Tony is the guy who handles home invasions.

- I think the vast majority of Ty’s abuse is emotional/psychological, not only because this is what comes most naturally to him and it’s easy for him to fall into these manipulative tendencies without necessarily thinking about it, but also because physical abuse would cross a line for him in his head that would be very difficult to ignore. I think, if you take into consideration how volatile he seems, his flip-flopping back and forth between how he feels about both himself and Tony could become more exaggerated and more severe, possibly leading to an irreversible breakdown of his psyche. I think there could very well be an, “Oh, I’ve become my father” moment if that were to happen, which is exactly why it doesn’t happen. Ty’s too wrapped up in this idea that, so long as he doesn’t cross that line, everything he does can still be justified. Which is garbage.

- Tiberius did not like Sunset Bain. Sunset Bain did not like Tiberius. 

There’s a lot more that comes to mind, but this is already upwards of 30 paragraphs, and I, uh. Do not want to make this longer than it already is! So, do with that what you will.

Again, obligatory note here that this is canon-adjacent and canon-inspired, but not an analysis of canon material in the sense that I’m attempting to pick apart what the intents of the writers were. What canon provides is much more straightforward. These are headcanons, this is for funsies, and a lot of less important background details have been tweaked for the sake of the narratives that I, as a fanfic writer, would like to write and see written.

Thank you so much for the ask! This was legitimately so nice to write. I rarely ever get to spam about this, which is very likely why there’s just so much text every time I receive an ask like this, but. Again, it was very nice and I’m very grateful for you, anon.

#obligatory note here asking people to please not come into my askbox telling me about how much they hate- #- even the slightest implication that there might possibly be a single abuser out there not 100% rotten to their core #i have received. a lot of asks like this #and again as a victim of abuse whose views do not align with this it is so so so distressing to receive these #once more i am not saying anyone is wrong to believe what they believe #or to process things how they process things #but please please please don't ask me again and again to explain why exactly it is so draining for me to respond to these asks #you are valid! you deserve health and recovery and happiness and you need to do what you need to do to get that! #but please extend the same kindness to me and allow me to have my little corner of fandom wherein i also am able to find myself represented #tiberius stone #tony stark #cassks #abuse tw #abuse #child abuse tw #child abuse #long post #tyny

[lj-writes]

I’m curious on your opinion of LoK. What’s your issue with it?

Book 1 was so ineptly written that it was fully possible to dismiss non-bender oppression as a thing that never existed and was made up to wipe out benders–and that’s how large sections of the fandom took it, in fact.

And look, Fantastic Racism in general is very easy to get wrong (looking at you, X-Men, Zootopia, too many others to name…) but LoK is particularly egregious in implying that movements for equality are essentially largescale frauds, especially when the writing is inconsistent enough to imply in places that discrimination against non-benders is in fact a problem that exists.

Abrupt fix-it at the last moment in Book 1. We’re not even allowed to experience the full tragedy of lost bending (and like, bending isn’t real so why are we supposed to care again?), that consequence has to be taken away by divine intervention because Korra was sad.

Speaking of Korra, we don’t get to watch her struggle and work her ass off the way we saw Aang or even Roku do in the brief flashbacks we got. She comes pre-equipped with water, earth, and fire at the age of five, and never even has to grow into the spiritual values of Airbending. She had her other three elements taken away and Airbending abruptly came to her because she needed it in her desperate hour. She doesn’t grow through work or by trying, but by being put in danger and pain. Looking back, this substitution of female suffering for hard work and organic development foreshadowed her end of Book 3-Book 4 trauma storyline.

As a tangent, and because I need more people to piss off apparently, this replacement of suffering for work is strongly reminiscent of Rey in the new Star Wars. Both Korra and Rey are willing to work hard, but that’s not how they actually make the most dramatic gains. Either they’re born with their prodigious talents or the work they did put in happens off screen. Their most meaningful gains come from being violated in some way by male characters, by being kidnapped, having their powers stripped, being poisoned, tied up…

I mean this is just a thinly veiled version of rape as a heroine origin story, where the thing that makes a woman truly powerful is not the hard work she puts in but the fact that some man treated her like an object.

Why are creators afraid to let women struggle? Why do we have to be born prodigies who are violated into our destinies? Yes, trauma and the way we face up to it can make us stronger, and I don’t want to take away from anyone who felt empowered by Korra’s or Rey’s stories. But when I see three seasons dedicated lovingly to Aang working to master the four elements, then Korra just getting it within a season because she had her bending stripped after being physically held down, I’m going to be just a little salty at the different ways male and female protagonists are treated.

Raava and Batu were bullshit concepts that used the trappings of yin and yang to express a stark good-evil duality. If you don’t understand what yin and yang are then stop distorting the fuck out of the imagery. And for that matter it’s pretty iffy to impose a very Christian struggle between cosmic good and evil on a universe built on Asian cultures and mythologies.

This show doesn’t even know what it wants to be. Book 2 took a complex and interesting story of a civil war between literal brothers and a moral/political debate about military interventionism, and made it into a kaiju slugfest. While the slugfest was entertaining, what the hell happened to that earlier story? It’s like Book 1 all over again, they avoided actually dealing with the political storyline they set up early in the season by shunting it aside to magic punching.

Bolin’s abuse was played for laughs. I will never not be mad about this. Because male victims of abuse are not already ridiculed enough in real life, right? Fuck whoever thought this was a good or okay idea.

Speaking of abuse, the Water Tribe brothers from Book 1 (not to be confused with the Water Tribe brothers from Book 2) dying by murder-suicide was horrifying. Hey it’s not like victims of parental abuse already feel broken and unworthy to live, let’s totally validate that by endorsing the position that the only way they have to go is death.

The brothers’ fate is such a far cry from the empowering storylines Zuko and even more minor characters like Mai and Ty Lee got escaping and recovering from their own abuse, it’s insulting for them to even exist in the same franchise.

And yeah, lots of abuse victims are assholes! But Azula was 10,000x more memorable and better written than the asshole brothers ever were, and what’s more, hers was not the only abuse victim narrative in her show–she worked as another perspective of abuse victims precisely because Zuko and the others had very different stories. LoK doesn’t have any such nuance. Just blow them up because that’s all they’re good for and we shall never mention them again.

Asami, Bolin, and Mako could have been replaced by sock puppets for all the development they got in the show. They had potential but were so massively underused while the story spent all its energy changing tracks mid-season and lurching all over the place trying to be everything. Why not do something with the characters you already have.

This show has a really big fucking underlying problem with class. The supposedly good people, Korra, Tenzin, Lin, Su-yin, Iroh II and so on are essentially aristocrats, sons and daughters of heroes and world leaders who, in the case of Korra and Tenzin, have entire organizations dedicated to serving and helping them. Their servants and the orphans they graciously take in, on the other hand, are either invisible or become traitors and Big Bads.

I mean while I squeed at Korrasami, I get cynical about it at times and wonder if what really made Asami the endgame mate for Korra and not Mako was that Asami is the daughter of a rich industrialist who inherited everything from her dickish dad, while Mako is an orphan who grew up on the streets.

Even among the underdeveloped trio of Asami, Mako, and Bolin, it’s clearly Asami who did the best in terms of character development at least toward the end, reconciling with her asshole would-be murderer dad, while Mako and Bolin’s far more interesting mixed heritage family was swept under the rug.

Speaking of which, MAKO WAS TOTALLY IN THE RIGHT FOR SNITCHING KORRA’S AWFUL INTERVENTIONIST PLAN TO THE PRESIDENT AND YOU CAN FIGHT ME ON THIS. Both Korra and Iroh II can get fucked for acting like the New Republic was their fucking property and casually trying to plunge it into war. Fuck that noise and fuck those entitled brats.

Too bad the showrunners were too cowardly to follow up on this actually interesting political and interpersonal conflict, but inconsistency and lack of follow-through are pretty much LoK’s calling cards so what else is new.

#anon #ask #lok critical #rape mention #rape tw

[girlysword]

Part 1

Cloak and Dagger: Hopes and Fears Analysis

(Boy, I have wanted to write this for a long time. So sorry for the delay. If I missed anything, please let me know)

First Light

Hope: The first hope Tandy sees is that of her mother, Melissa. She wants to go back to the past, but not the real past, a romanticized falsehood (which many of the hopes in the show are). In reality, Melissa was abused by her husband, and because of that abuse she was so addicted to painkillers that she couldn’t even pick her daughter up from ballet practice. In the romanticized version of the past, not only is she present, she is at the class, helping Tandy with her shoes, actively helping her achieve her dream. Her husband Nathan is there too, supporting his daughter and being affectionate with his wife (in reality he supported Tandy too, but I get the vibe that he didn’t really care what his daughter did, as long as she was successful at it). The reason Melissa romanticizes the past is two-fold. One, due to her abuse, it was likely already a coping mechanism she had, along with drugs and alcohol. Two, as awful as her life was, at least it was stable. Her life post the rig explosion is not, making the past that much more likely to be romanticized.

Fear: In contrast to the hopes, many of the fears in the show expose a truth. The first fear Tyrone sees is that of the cop that shoots his brother, Billy, and his fear plays that night out. Detective Connors likely believes that he is a good cop, he shot Billy by accident and crime is down in his precinct, but he uses shady methods to get ahead, he has his uncle get him into Vice so he can go undercover and avoid the consequences of shooting Billy, and crime is down because he has set up a monopoly in the drug trade. His fear is being exposed, having to face what he really is.

Suicide Sprints

Hope: Tandy next sees her boyfriend’s Liam’s hope. Liam and Tandy are dancing at a party, engaging in some cute couple banter. Liam then gives a speech promising to do whatever he can to make her safe/happy, which is essentially a proposal. Tandy’s commitment phobia rears its head and she freaks out. I felt really felt for Liam throughout this season, and I kinda hope that he never shows up. Dude needs to catch a break.

Fear: The next fear Tyrone sees is his mother’s. She is in a poorly lit grocery store, looking tired, and her sons run ahead of her, out sight. One gunshot, then another. She rounds the corner and finds their graves in the freezer section. With one son already dead, its easy to see why she fears her sons dying before her. What I couldn’t figure out for a long while, was why the fear took place in a grocery store. Then I remembered the great line that she had in the first episode, “I’m afraid that even if you do everything perfectly I’m going to lose you.” She experiences this fear all the time, she’s afraid that it is going to happen while her family is doing something completely innocuous.

Stained Glass (AKA Vision Quest)

Hope:

Part 1: Tyrone is on a basketball court when his brother and his brother’s friends. Billy’s friends ask Billy to help them steal the car stereo from the guy who stiffed them, same as the night he died. Billy declines and decides to stay with Tyrone. Interestingly, this is basically what happened in real life. It was Tyrone who stole the radio for his brother which lead to them running away from the police and Billy getting shot. Tyrone is removing his responsibility from the situation.

Part 2: Tyrone keeps getting checks, but he doesn’t cash any of them. In the background is a sign that says “Rewards you deserve”. In real life Tyrone believes that he is getting rewards that he doesn’t deserve. He is the one who is alive, he is the one who goes to a nice private school, and he is the one who has a shot of winning the basketball tournament.

Part 3: The is one of the most gorgeous sequences of the entire show. The music and the visuals were a punch to the gut. A duel table is set up, Tyrone chooses his weapon and kills Connors. His parents look on, supportive. But, because he knows murder is wrong and he has an unrecognized suicidal streak, the cops always come after him, always killing him the same way he killed Connors. Tandy says “You have to try something else,” and she gives him one of her daggers, which transforms into a pair of handcuffs. Ty needs to go after Connors the legal way and Tandy can help him.

Fear[1]:

Part 1: Baby Tandy is on the roof of Roxxon. There is water and the sign sparks, almost electrifying her.

Part 2: She is looking into a boardroom full of Roxxon higher ups. Her dad is tied to a chair and the higher ups, led by Scarborough, kill him. Her mother pleads her father’s case, baby Tandy screams and begs, all to no avail. Tandy runs each time. Tyrone asks what she thinks is on the other side, but she isn’t running toward anything, she is running away. “You have to try something else”, Ty uses his power to travel to keep Tandy in one place. Tandy needs to stand her ground, and Ty can help her.

Part 3: Men come to Tandy to worship and she “hands out roofies like communion candy”. Liam, who knows who she is, takes the roofie himself. Tandy rewards him with a pat on the head and collapses like the rest of them. There is a stained glass window depicting the first man who suffered because of her, her father. He is depicted on a cross (if you read my potential antagonists post you will know why that image makes me excited), like her mother, Tandy romanticizes and elevates the memory of her father. Similar to how men treat her as a false idol.

[1] There is a scene of Ty descending into the Loa before he encounters Tandy’s fears. It looks like his house, but the pictures on the wall have changed into what I’m guessing are voodoo symbols. I have absolutely no idea what they mean.

#cloak and dagger meta #hopes and fears #tandy bowen #tyrone johnson #first light #suicide sprints #stained glass

[jayne-hecate-writer]

Controversial thoughts

Some of you are going to find what I say here to be down right offensive, some of you are likely to be so angry as to scrap this post before you have even got to the end, but here goes... I really like The Last Jedi and so should you.

Before I explain my thinking, let me just point out that this article is likely to contain spoilers to the whole franchise, including the most recent release, Solo, so be warned before you proceed into this.

I have been watching the films again on DVD and I have noticed a few things that had not previously occurred to me and I am tying these in, along with things I have seen discussed on Youtube and in articles on other forms of social media. 

Child Abuse and religious zealotry is everywhere:- My first thoughts are that the Star Wars universe does not like children very much. There are so many slaves and orphans among children in the Star Wars Universe, that it borders on being utterly despicable. Of all of the characters we encounter, the only ones shown on film to have loving and supportive family are the few various Royals. Even the gentle and loving Luke Skywalker has a tempestuous relationship with his Uncle Owen that borders on some seriously controlling behaviour. Later in the film, what family he has left are brutally murdered, leaving him with significant levels of survivor guilt and played nicely into the hands of an elderly religious fanatic, who drags him off to fight in a war. How old is Luke at this point? He is a teenager, a child in everything but name.

We then find out that Luke’s estranged father is a genocidal maniac, who also happens to be a religious fanatic and deeply opposed to the religion of the old man who it turns out, not only abandoned him to burn to death in lava in his own youth, but has stolen his children from him. When Luke wont change his allegiance, his father attempts to murder him. We get a final act of redemption but Luke still finds himself alone once again, having been indoctrinated into a religious cult that demands celibacy of its converts, the likes of which the Catholic church would be proud of and we all know how that ended for so many innocent children. May the force protect all of those children who were ripped away from their families so as to be indoctrinated into the Jedi faith. We will never know how many of them were abused by the Jedi faithful once they got there. We know that significant numbers of them are murdered by one of their own or even killed in battle as they learn to become child soldiers.

In Rogue One, we see more child soldiers, more abuse victims and more adults filled with trauma and damage. It is also a truly remarkable film in that every character we love is killed off, including the religious zealot who though completely blind, walks across an open battlefield chanting his faith. 

Moving into episodes seven, eight and even nine (which at the time of writing is still to come out), we see similar patterns. In Rey, Finn and Kylo Ren we once again we see children that have been abused and failed by the adults around them. Rey is forced to work in slavery for starvation rations, after her alcoholic parents sold her for booze money. I dread to think how and why as a pretty young girl with no one to protect her, she learned to fight as well as she has. 

Finn was abducted as an infant and forced to become a child soldier, a life that psychological studies here in our own universe has shown to have terrible consequences for the survivors that make it to adulthood. You can see written through out his arc, just how damaged he is by this experience.

Ben Solo was abandoned by his father Han, who was too damaged by his own childhood, to be able to communicate with his son. The boy was then sent away by his mother Leia, to be trained in the ways of a religious cult. Once there, the only family that this lonely and frightened young boy has, tried to murder him! Is it any wonder that he turned to the Dark Side and the abusive relationship and religious mania of Snoke? As Ben Solo becomes Kylo Ren, he is more and more eaten up inside by the religious cult that is Snoke’s dark faith and he is manipulated into becoming a murderer and despot. 

When Rey joins the resistance, she is barely out of her childhood and she too becomes yet another child warrior and she is told that by an accident of birth she is destined to join the religious cult of the Jedi. Does she have a choice in this? It appears not to be the case.

When you look at her relationship with Finn, he finds in her the first person in his life to offer him any form of kindness away from the military and more out of his own traumatic experience, he begins to love his newly found friend, to the point that he tries to drag her away from danger. Of course the religious mania rises up once again and Kylo attempts to murder both, before Rey vanishes off around the galaxy to find a religious zealot to save them all from another bunch of religious maniacs.

The whole Star Wars universe is built on child slavery, child suffering and a huge amount of loneliness, which is heavily buried in religious zealotry. Tp me this is utterly heart breaking. With the release of Solo, we once again see more children kept in slavery for the labour they can provide to a crime syndicate. Han can only escape this terrible life by joining the army, which he later deserts when he realises that he is basically cannon fodder in a cause he does not believe in. He is captured and imprisoned for desertion, where he meets his soon to be lifelong friend, Chewbacca. Chewiewas is held in terrible, if not horrific conditions where he is forced to feed upon the bodies of other prisoners just to survive. His humanity or rather his sentience is ignored and we discover that his family are being used as slave labour. The whole Star Wars Universe is just awful and it is a wonder that any of them actually managed to survive childhood to become the damaged and traumatised adults that they later become.

So why is the Last Jedi so much better than people think? 

Simple... Because in this story, a group of child abuse survivors try to make the universe better for those who come after them. 

Despite Kylo Ren’s trained murderous impulses and traumatic child soldier life (that included having to murder his own father to win the approval of his mentor and reinforce his distance from his family), even he cannot bring himself to murder his own mother. 

Poe Dameron learns that the myth of heroic death truly does not in reality exist. He grows as a person and learns that the lives of his friends and colleagues do actually matter, losing the bleak and destructive nihilism that endangers all around him.

Finn finds that he has inner resilience that he did not know was there and as he finds this, he helps yet another lonely adult, child abuse survivor. If you look at the sad life of Rose, you will see that she is the only survivor of her entire family and it was her older sister who basically raised her for the last few years of her childhood, as they clung together hoping not to be murdered. Finn and Rose find each other and in doing so begin to support each other, to overcome the psychological damage that they have suffered at the hands of others. 

Rey finds inside her self the strength of will to let go the anger she feels for having been abandoned by her parents as a young child, although she replaces them in her life with religious zealotry which on reflection, may not be all that healthy. 

The character of DJ points out that the continuous state of war is destroying both sides and the only winners are those businesses that sell weapons to both sides. He is also one of the very few people in the whole galaxy who is prepared to admit that he can be wrong about things. His enlightenment almost goes unregarded and yet at no time does he actively murder anyone. He is a peaceful man who is just trying to survive in a hateful galaxy.

As for Luke, he is the only truly remarkable character. Luke seeks and finally finds redemption as he forgives himself the terrible things that he has done in the name of his religion and in doing so, sacrifices himself so that his last remaining family and friends can escape being murdered. His last act was so noble and so brave, it truly showed him to be filled with love and compassion for all forms of life. He also tried to bring an end to the religious order that has caused so much strife through out the galaxy. Of them all, he is the only to understand the true legacy of the Jedi. 

With this much pain and suffering going on, is it any wonder that Luke, Leia, Kylo, Rey, Finn, Rose and Poe all suffer with some degree of trauma induced sadness or mental health condition? The fact that any one of them can act with any degree of kindness towards another being, when the Galaxy is run by a series of evil despots and each of them has a significant history of loss and abuse, is frankly amazing. 

Finn running away from the war to save his only true friend from an evil dictatorship that has sworn to murder them all is not only brave, but an act of love. Rey can see the harm done to Kylo and she thinks that her kindness and compassion can save him. 

There is however one character that remains unrepentant, selfish and even racist. C3PO... He who cannot abide Jawas, he who sees Wookies as less than people. Yes, C3PO harbours, if you go through all of the movies, views that even fascist groups would find distasteful. At no point in the saga does C3PO seek to atone for his hateful words and deeds. If anything, he continues though out to be condescending towards all forms of organic life, blatantly derisive of his friends and rather quick to commit acts of cowardice and betrayal, the likes of which are only equalled by Captain Phasma. At the end of the movie, when Luke leaves the base to face down Kylo Ren, he turns to C3PO and does not actually speak to him. Why is this? I wonder if this is because Luke knows that C3PO is really a colossal golden bigot! 

The back story of Phasma by the way is once again of childhood suffering and military service. She is yet another child victim in the Star Wars universe, it is all so painfully sad. 

What makes The Last Jedi special is that at last, many of those responsible for terrible acts against children are finally given some degree of payback for the harm they have caused. At the very end, it leaves us with some hope that the children will rise up and bring about a new order of peace and an end to childhood suffering. To be honest, after all of the abuse, all of the suffering and all of the enforced child labour, it was nice to see some kids working out that they have the strength to rebel against those who would harm them.

The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson is among the first to acknowledge the suffering of children in the Star Wars universe. Even in the kids TV shows such as Rebels, the orphan Ezra is turned into a child soldier and religious zealot. The Clone Wars series saw many more child soldiers indoctrinated into the Jedi order and sent to die in battle. So well done Rian Johnson, I really enjoyed your movie. 

By looking at social media though, it appears that I am alone among a sea of miserable voices. 

Finally, my fellow Star Wars fans, when the stars of the movies we love so dearly are forced to to retreat from social media because of the bullying actions of a significant number of  fans, maybe it is time that we took a long hard look at ourselves? After all, it is only a fucking movie and a fucking kids movie at that. Disney may not have the best record, but they are giving us something that would otherwise have died back in the eighties

#star wars #the last jedi #the force awakens #a new hope #star wars prequels #star wars sequels #bullying #child soldiers #Star Wars toxic fans #toxic fandom #I love Star Wars