#and thats why youre on tumblr bullying the fuck out of kids
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this is literally such freak behavior. screenshotting a trans kid's tweet that just says 'my dad offered me a beer and im 16' and posting it on tumblr so u can make fun of them. the post was just full of ppl throwing slurs and calling this kid names n shit like yall are going to hell fr. literally leave kids alone you fucking losers
#kris.txt#this made me so mad bro#like. why would you do that.#why would you go out of your way to put a target on a kid's head for#checks notes#the crime of Made A Tweet#they literally arent even saying anything bad. they are just saying smth happened#ppl were in the notes like#STUPID FUCKING PURITEEN TRYING TO CANCEL THIER DAD ON TWITTER#like?#what are you talking about#fucking freaks#yeah im sure you guys were all totally cool and awesome at 16#and thats why youre on tumblr bullying the fuck out of kids#again they didnt even DO ANYTHING#at most this tweet implies that they were slightly uncomfortable#which they are allowed to express online ????#like fuck off fr
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RANT. (sturntok.)
Yall. Im so mad. Sturntok pisses me the fuck off to the point it isn't even funny anymore. This might be messy, so bare with me.
Tara. Why the fuck is everyone pressed about Tara hanging out with the triplet, specifically matt and Chris. Yall are acting as if it was only two of them, like they're on a date. They were with fucking I don't know, 8 other people? Like why does Sturntok care who they hangout with? Did you not learn from elementary school to mind your bees wax, or business? You're probably 15. They're literally 5 years older than you. There is no way, in any universe they're gonna date you girl. ALSO TO SHIT ON TARA?? LIKE GIRL. FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO SHIT ON CUZ HOMEGIRL DONT CARE. SHE DONT CARE. SHE IS STRIVING AND LIVING LIFE LIKE YOU SHOULD GIRL. Live life and don't care. You'll probably have a positive outcome. No cuz y'all know how Chris owns the Saturn necklace thing? Its vivienne underwood. It's less than 20 bucks on Amazon. Also when was the last time y'all saw Chris wearing that necklace girl. Also there's a post from like months, or I think a year ago of Tara wearing the same necklace. These fucking tiktok girls are so annoying. Like we get it, everyone wants to be Tara. (she's my gf.)
Podcast. I saw a bunch of btiches shit on the podcast. Like cmon. THEY ARE PRODUCING AN HOUR LONG VIDEO FOR YALL EVERY WEEK. Mfs are burnt out, you're lucky that they even produce content for you ungreatful hoes. Like lwk, I'd rather have them remove Wednesday videos. I remember when they first started their podcast that they were really excited to start and stuff. I also remember, I believe it was their earlier vlogs. When they were still living in Boston and they haven't like went to LA yet, they were talking about turning their basement into a podcast room. Like cmon. This is something they've been wanting to do and you hoes just don't appreciate anything. Like have y'all's mama's not been pissed at y'all for not appreciating her food. Live life positive and not negative tf. But ofc, I respect their decision.
Intro. Yall just love to shit on everyone. Ruining the party. Sturntok reminds me of the kids-the class "clowns" who would be so shitty to the teacher for no reason and would ruin fun things for everyone. Like guys, I think we should all as a community bully Sturntok. It requires a bit more bullying, just to knock some sense into their heads. Anyways, back to what I was ranting about. I loved their new intro. its a new era. A new them. Change. Is. Fucking. hard. I understand that you love the teens from Boston running around making fools of themselves. Me too, I shall admit it. But in order to get sponsorships, to get the little paring things. (For example, them sponsoring Celsius, even becoming the youtooz thing.) Like they gotta act more professional.
Change. This tied in with the last few things. CHANGE IS HARD. CHANGE IS A DIFFICULT THING. But how the fuck are you gonna live life, and enjoy life when your stuck on one thing forever. Change is needed for growth, and for learning. Like guys, THEYRE 20. I think that's something y'all forget. They aren't teenagers anymore. Its kinda like how when everyone went into middle school and started to not like kiddy things when you still liked kiddy things. When I was in middle school I still like to play with Legos, draw, watch anime. Until I hit 7th grade, aka everyone's downfall. I still enjoy some of those things today but I changed because people in middle school stopped like those things and its embarrassing (well for me at least) to show up in school with anime shirts cuz I'm getting older. Thats what they're feeling I guess. Again, theyre 20 now.
Crazy ass mfs. Crazy, as in them soft mf's on sturntok. Also what pisses me off more is that they're coming here on tumblr. Like no, I know your soft ass belongs on Wattpad bffr. I have a long rant about this one, so bare with me again. They are so so so so so SOOOOO sensitive about the "spicy edits." Sometimes the fucking video frame isn't even about something "spicy" aka- them being shirtless, video frame near their crotch. It was when there was a song about sex. How soft can you be. Most songs these days are about sex. Some songs y'all probably didn't know about was about sex. (cake by the ocean for example.) LIKE LETS ME FOR REAL. MOST SONGS ARE ABOUT SEX. Also with the tiktok audios being removed like cmon. Not everything is about sunshine and rainbows. I remember I commented on a Chris edit and I was like.
"I need this man in my life. He's so hot."
"you're fucking gross. He's a human being and do you know how grossed out he would be if he saw that you said this? (bullshitbullshit,morebullshitandstupidness.)"
Yeah, keeping fucking running your mouth. THIS TIKTOK HAS LIKE 4K VIEWS. DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING FOLLOWERS THE TRIPLETS HAVE? YEAH. THAT'S NOT EVEN A QUARTER OF WHAT THEY HAVE. THIS VIDEO HAS 1K COMMENTS. ARE THEY FUCKING HUNTING ME DOWN?? MY COMMENT HAS 3 LIKES. WHY WOULD THEY CARE TO FUCKING CHECK GIRL. ITS ALSO TELLING THE FUCKING PERSON WHO EDITED THIS THAT THIS EDIT WAS FIRE AND THAT THEY MADE THE EDIT HELLA GOOD. UR FUCKING LUCKY I KEPT MY ANGER TO MYSELF CUZ OH GIRL. I WOULD SUCKER PUNCH YOU. You know whats also funny? They're the same people who will be pissed with when they see matt or Chris with a female. Like girl. You're calling me fucking gross? Do you think how much more worse that is than my comment? You ruin friendships. OG sturniolo fans know that they've been friends with girls. If you genuinely care, yall would know that nick made most of matt and chris' friends. Meaning most of them were females. SO OBVIOUSLY THEYRE GONNA HAVE GIRL FRIENDS. I remember watching the Zach sang pod when nick was on and he explained that matt usually doesn't make the friends. Theres a joke where matt says "I'm gonna make a friend that wasn't originally nick's friends." smth like that. Anyways, off topic. Just because they are seen with a girl, doesn't mean they are fucking dating them. Like shut the fuck up. please. Respectfully shut the fuck because I'm a nice person. Also Chris gives off major virgin vibes lets bffr.
Madi. Yall hate so bad on Madi and its fucking grossing me out. Why do you have to ship her with matt and chris??? Literally to the point they can't even put her in photo dumps or videos. You just gotta ruin it for everyone, huh? shes fucking gorgeous, and she's so funny in videos. Plus, when she does talk shes hillarious. She literally reminds me of Matt. She doesn't fucking talk much because she is more of a listener.. Like guys bffr. How can you hate her when she barley spoke in videos. Like respectfully, shut the fuck up. Yall just jealous shes pretty.
Calling Nick fine. I also hate them mfs who are always running their mouth about girls calling Nick fine. Lets bffr. Y'all didn't think a gay guy is fine? I'm sure you've had a crush on one gay person before. And if you haven't trust me. You will. I had a crush on my gay friend in 8th grade. I feel like its a canon even in every girl's life. anyways, I hate when girls will be scared to call nick hot.
"Nick is so fine. But like as a cool guy friend way. Please don't attack me."
POOR GIRL BELIEVES SHE IS GONNA BE ATTACKED IF SHE CALLS A GAY MAN FINE. Sturntok leave her the fuck alone. He's hot as fucking and I will kill civilians if I'm not given more nick edits. He's so fine. Literally the hottest triplet.
If u made it here thanks. There was shit on my chest that I really needed to let out. What have we learned today?
Sturntok can suck my fucking dick.
Thanks goodbye.
Me to Sturntok :
#kaceythecrunchspeaks#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets x reader#chris sturniolo smut#madi filipowicz#tara yummy#rant post#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo imagine#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you
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Hi hey hello :) putting the cunt in my user today - the bear fandom rant below
Let me get my notecard.
OKAY SO. There is some fucking bitch going around on anon in TB fandom,
@/anon Here you are scaredy ass bitch ! Have you in 4K📸 I know you reading this 👋
This isn’t the only time. This scaredy ass anon bitch has telling multiple of some of the BIGGEST writers in TBF that they are “copying eachother” to likely just start drama, there is a very slim chance this person is not just a little bitch who doesn’t have the balls to put out their own fics - and is trying to stir the pot on this corner of the internet because they mad they aren’t sitting with the fucking ‘cool kids of the bear Carmy Berzatto fan fiction’ club’ via tumblr - LIKE😭🤣
that is genuinely how pathetic this person is we are literally in a tiny niche fandom and this fuckin JAGOFF. THATS RIGHT. BITCH. YOURE A JAGOFF ANON. COME OFF ANON AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN.
this jagoff is just trying to fucking ruin people’s days- KIDS at that yes legal adults but it’s really really funny how it’s rare for these 19 and 18 year olds you’re attacking JAGOFF are the only ones on this corner of the internet- most of us are 4-5 years older then that if not OLDER. You come for them bc you know they are dealing with shit TEENS FUCKING DEAL WITH so attack them to make them feel more fucking insecure then teenagers already are FUCK YOU someone should fucking spit on you bullying TEENS. You fucking loser.
But let me end my rant with a few last things
Firstly the only rule of fucking requesting from me or my moots for this matter because I don’t want them being accused of fucking COPYING people - is that you do not go asking someone else the same shit. Tweak it. But if you want to ask 10 people the exact same prompt? Leave me out of it because that’s not the kind of work I want to put out.
Second to the anon mentioned, you know exactly who the fuck you are going around calling people bitches in their ask box - if you don’t wanna face me fucking block me. I swear to god babe you don’t want to cross my path. One thing Carmen and I have in common is if I eeever find out who you are (I have eyes and ears everywhere in this fandom! Keep what you’re doing a secret for your own sake) because if I find out lmaooooo babe please. Please come off anon. I will give you a new insecurity that will be with you into your grave.
And third and fucking finally. Can we live? Can we FUCKING LIVVEEEE?! Clap if we should be able to live
Like really and genuinely. This is FAN FUCKING FICTION. unless someone is like quite actually fucking copy pasting word for god damn word OR the authors are openly saying that a specific persons work seems to be a copy of theirs and it bothers them- shut up? Why are you going around and defending people over such stupid shit. We come to tumblr to have fun and get away and write slutty fiction about a fucking Italian chef with anger issues what do you get out of bothering people here. Is your day THAT bad?!
Anyways. CapriCUNT out.
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some more LMK art cuz yeah
･:*+..:+
hear me out- he definitely bullies kids on tumblr. im right, ur wrong.
･:*+..:+
some doodles of MK cuz i was tryna figure him out
･:*+..:+
most recent thingg (he’s so pretty?? for what??) felt like adding the time it took cuz i wanted to. it’s not bad??? the shading is messing with me >:/
･:*+..:+ (getting a little vent-ish)
i showed the drawings to on of my “sorta-friends-but-not-rlly-cuz-i-don’t-actually-like-you-but-who-else-am-i-gonna-be-around-also-it’s-just-routine” on the bus and he was just acting super disappointed and like “sigh… no. just no. i thought you were better than this. why would you waste your time on that.” and it ngl- fucking hurt. idgaf if it was meant to be a joke. he was acting like i drew the most heinous cringe worthy shit to exist. ITS MY CURRENT SPECIAL INTEREST. I FELT PROUD OF MY DRAWINGS. I WANTED TO SHOW YOU BC THEY MADE ME HAPPY. THEY ARE LEGOS. AND THIS IS ONE OF THE FEW THINGS GIVING ME PURPOSE IN LIFE OR ELSE ID LOSE MYSELF TO A FUCKING MENTAL DISORDER THATS SLOWLY DESTROYING ME MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY.
#lmk redraw#lmk#lego monkey kid#lego monkey kid fanart#lmk fanart#lmk fandom#lmk macaque#lego macaque#six eared macaque#macaque#monkie kid#mk#lego monkie kid#lego mk#lego nezha#lmk nezha#lego monkie kid nezha#monkie kid nezha
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I live in a more conservative area in the US. My family isn't, but whatever. Being LGBT was looked down upon in this area, my parents made sure to tell me it was ok and people were close minded (hell they even left the church they went to and started their own). They were great parents.
That being said the surrounding area was not. Got bullied in school for being gay, even though I simply was just focused on academics. I wanted an A more than I wanted the D am I right? Hm. It frustrated me because no one even asked and I was straight. This went on from when I was 10 to 17, when I finally graduated and got out of that area. The bullying was intense, from something as simple as name calling to having group projects turned in without my name but slurs on it to getting physically pushed around and shoved.
I went to college and met some cool people. Went to a pride parade as an ally. Started learning about different labels. Proclaimed to be demisexual with a desire for men because I still didn't really have any sexual desire and again, focused on school.
When I was 21 I moved to an entire new area for my job. Met a girl in her 30s who has a kid (12 or 13 at the time I dont remember) who came out as nonbinary and pan. Good for them! The woman was an "ally" except-
Tried forcing me to come out. Many times. Put me in secret uncomfortable situations. Some highlights of things she did were: take me to a gay bar without telling me thats where we were and then paying someone to kiss me and then kept asking if I realized I was gay because I didn't push the person away (I was shocked), after I claimed I was demisexual claimed that I had repressed my sexuality because society inherently tells you to be straight and that I was truly a lesbian, would claim I was a virgin if I never slept with a man because a woman couldn't take that so if i had "religious trauma" and wouldn't sleep with anyone based on keeping virginity i could with a woman and be fine (which I dont have any, my parents formed that church and were all inclusive and its a safe space hell they even organized pride events before the town did), and the worst of all got me drunker then I've ever been to the point I could barely stand and left me with a guy who had a crush on me who kept coming onto me. She talked to him and I saw her wink at him and she left me with this dude who got too handsy if you know what I mean. Nothing under the clothes happened thank God, and really it was my own fault for drinking so much at her place *she had many people over, I actually drank less then other people but still*. I asked why she left me with him and she said she was tired, then later said she wasn't surprised he tried anything and then said "well you're definitely gonna be gay now and not want to be with a man".
I left that area behind as my career progressed and it hit me, damn she was kinda fucked up. Kissed a few people and realized hold on I do have a sexual drive hello, and I dont have to get to know people first to have it?? Not demi then. Cool! Realised that the woman kinda fucked me up. I'm doing therapy which...is ok. But I got on Tumblr and have been on
And I've met some cool people. I've realized huh I guess a straight person doesn't think about boobs and vaginas while they get off. The dicks made sense, but the rest? And it hit me Holy shit im bi?? I think??
In my mind, being LGBT was okay but ME oh no suddenly it was the worst thing in the world. And im realizing its okay for me. Idk why I thought it wasn't except for the intense bullying. One thing that made me realize was everyone on tumblr. Like I said I met some cool people. I havent sent everyone a message because I want to be anonymous still. But you're one of the people who have helped me realize its ok. It is okay for me! So thank you for that. One of your fics really helped when I was first struggling with the realization and...thank you. It may not seem like a big thing to you, but its changed my life.
Thank you so much for sending me this. Like actually truly.
First of all, I’m so sorry for the situation with your ex friend. I can’t stand when people need to push and push to get the reaction THEY want, it sickens me deeply. Im sorry you went through that and I’m so happy you’re in therapy and that you’ve discovered yourself now.
It actually IS big to me when I hear about bisexual people accepting themselves. I don’t talk about it here much but I too grew up in a conservative area. I dropped out of school for bullying, etc but had the opposite story of knowing I was bisexual very young and not knowing how to word it? I just knew it was “bad” and I went to church a lot and I needed to repent for it. So I get that part in a warped way.
I think it gets to me for a very personal reason. There’s this inherent shake when you’ve been made to feel bad about your sexuality that resurfaces at random. I had an ex boyfriend who was obsessed with my sexuality in the opposite way. He was abusive and thought I was cheating constantly with my best friend, would call me a d*ke and a f*g constantly (almost always before some sort of physical abuse) and I was just deeply ashamed of my self, to the point of being biphobic at points.
What I’m getting at here is I came out after we broke up and I expected it to be this dawn of time shit because my family is accepting too! And I remember my mom getting upset and going, “Are you sure this isn’t about your breakup? Are you okay?” And I kind of just wanted to fucking scream. Or the way family members treat it like I’m divulging some sort of sexual secret. My sister coming out as bi years later really helped me. Dating someone who both did not care and didn’t want to sexualize me made it better.
In between all that, I ended up dating a girl who I could tell from the get go doesn’t see me (still now as friends) as “gay enough”. None of my struggle or my problems are the same, none of my fears are warranted, etc. that’s fine. I don’t need suffering to know who I am. What I’m trying to get at is even after years there are still tiny things that eat away at me but I’ve learned coping skills and developed friendships that make me feel so much better. And hearing stories from other people helps so much too. So thank you for telling me yours, it means a lot to me. I know you weren’t asking for a wordy response but I just woke up and I’m a sensitive bitch 😂
I’m sorry for the things you’ve gone through and I wish the world had been kinder to a young you. I’m glad you’re better now and if you ever need to message someone (if you ever choose to not be anon) I’m around ☺️💕
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ok you needing a second to understand that tumbel in tumblr saved me from my embarrassment for having misread your message xD hell yeah haha
maybe you could write us a lil post about your favorite character & why they are that :D (soz for not doin it myself i‘m not feeling like putting anything out there today)
and don‘t decide that you won‘t ever contribute to a bigger project that touches people yet !!!!!! YOU‘RE SO YOUNG you‘ve got the whole world waiting for you and you‘re ALREADY so good at art though. your art is already touching people, no reason why that shouldn‘t work if you should ever work with others on a bigger project!!! GET OUT THEREEE i mean also take your time but IF YOU WANT THAT ABSOLUTELY SHOOT YOUR SHOT KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN FOR OPPORTUNITIES i‘d personally love to see your work in something bigger :D nothing‘s set in stone <3 <3 <3 !!!
aww thank you so much anon! idk who you are but youre so kind to me... thats so nice!
about the whole future thing... i know i have a lot of time but i think because of some stuff coming up soon (when i leave school) im stressed about the future and my decisions in it entirely. idk what im gonna do if i need to go to the military lol like what job to take... i havent started driving and i dont understand shit about all the other stuff thats attached with going to the military im just stressed in general. i dont wanna end up staying in my parents house forever ig.
but i have a lot of time and i know that even if my connection with my friends fade away when they get recruited (which is... also something that could happen... oh god i dunno how to make irl friends) i still have my family, and probably the online world too. if i open commissions im pretty sure id get some work, but i dont think i could do that too much cuz i hate drawing things i dont wanna draw.
but, again, who knows what will happen. ill be fine haha, especially if there are people like you who care enough to write messages like these. most of my online friends are from twt so its always nice to see a tumblr fan <3 thank you anon.
(im realizing how depressed this is all making me sound like i promise its just my school hammering in the importance of the military signs up like i dont even know what part of the mess ill be in most of the time theyre teaching shit that doesnt concern me. im okay, im not dying!!)
now to actually talk about my favorite character! woohoo! happy topic change!
for the two people who read this and the one thats actually gonna read till the end, im putting a cut so this isnt annoying on ur dash (note to anon: this post is so so fucking long i know u prob asked me my fav character to cheer me up but dont force urself to read this whole thing just to be polite lmaooo but id appreciate it if anyone did cuz holy shit)
something that ive realized a while back is that usually when it comes to favorite characters of media, i have a type.
when i made this the character i had in mind where souda (danganronpa), aiura (saiki k) and teru (mp100).
after making the tweet i also thought of denji (csm) who fits right in, and also bakugou (mha) who doesnt, but he looks like half of the characters i did mention lol.
i think the whole social but nice thing came to because of all those shows and stories where the popular kid in school is the mean bully.. maybe i dislike this trope cuz i havent personally experienced any kind of bullying in my school, even as an observer so i cant relate to the experience of having this type of antagonist. the worst it ever got for me was when in fifth grade a girl made fun of me for crying and no one laughed. (shes still in my class over six years later and shes really nice not ufhduh were not friends but were friendly and i dont hold a grudge). maybe its just cuz im wholesome so i dislike any type of negative character. maybe.
that might sound stupid cuz i said i like bakugou, who i used to think of constantly, like for the entirety of 2021 he was in my mind it was annoying. but idk man not all my favs fit into this category ((shinguuji, saihara, yuuko, tweek (who also looks like them! what the fuck!) yuudai from sakana (why are they all blond?!? and men. more female characters what the fuck) barf bag (yes im an object show fan good morning)))
anyways. i like the popular but nice trope is what im saying. why are they all simps? i dont know honestly only one of the characters that i mentioned at the start is simping for someone i ship them with (terumob) (but the reason i even like teru in the first place might be cuz i saw terumob art, thought it was cute, and decided to search more art. i do that with a lot of characters when i dont watch the show (from the original list ive watched all of saiki k, watched playthroughs of the first 2 dr games, watched like a season of mp100 years ago and watched like 2 seasons of mha even before that. i get my filling of plot and character from meme videos, fanart, and fanfics. i understand enough.) and i get hooked on the ship (more examples include akiangel, kiribaku and the two gay boys from evangelion. a lot of homo happening. also whatever the fic version of this is but with denji and yoshida).
about the simping and the bakugou being mean-- i accept my character's flaws!!! i dont erase them!!! bakugou is an asshole and thats why i wanna see him get punished and learn from his mistakes, even if its a little hard! a great fic where this happens (but isnt the main storyline) is quirk: knife! which is probably my favorite non ship heavy fic, check it out!
my fav characters have flaws but just like how you need to embrace flaws in the people you love, whether that means helping them get better or accepting them, i embrace these flaws cuz it makes them who they are! souda, denji and auira wouldnt be themselves if they werent pushing the lines with their crushes and idk what the fuck bakugou would be if he wasnt what he was.
alright lets actually start talking about my favorite character now.
so, right now, my favorite character of all time is-- ding ding ding-- kazuichi souda! who i already mentioned.
look at him! idk if the one and a half people who are reading this know him, but if u know denji, who is a more popular character atm, then imagine that but more wimpy.
the first time i encountered this character i was watching game grump's playthrough of the second game. i watched their first and enjoyed it but didnt really join the fandom. i didnt know anything about the second so i was going in blind like arin and dan, so theres a chance that whatever i thought about the characters was biased and connected to how they feel.
at first i really liked his design. a lot of the characters have small and complicated details but souda is probably the most simple design, not including hinata, but unlike him souda has a lot of bright colors that draw the eye in! i dont particularly prefer designs with sharp teeth but i think its a pretty nice quirk, since its another part of him that makes him look intimidating. theres a headcanon that he filed themselves but i honestly think he wouldnt do that, and prefer the headcanon that its genetic, even if it makes less sense. but danganronpa, and their designs, dont make sense. i think these little strange quirks are better when they arent thoughtout or have reason. he has sharp teeth becuz. just cuz.
if u dont know what happens in the game im just gonna say that the plot doesnt really matter, cuz really the only growth souda experiences is with his relationship to hinata (the main character) and his trust to his survivor friends that makes him stronger and convinces him to leave the virtual reality. im not gonna be talking about the plot in detail. i also havent watched the anime so im not gonna get into whatever he does there. i do know that he makes some cute faces in it, which is pretty awesome.
but, yeah, besides his design, at the start i truthfully didnt really like him lmaooo he was kind of stalkerish towards sonia (ill prob get into their relationship later), he is also a wimp but honestly... i get it hes stuck in a killing game i would be scared of anything too. i feel like of all of the cast, from all the games, souda is probably one of the best depictions of an actual teenager that might exist. of course he has his obnoxious moments, but in a way that a dumb teenager would have. i dont know when i started liking him, maybe after discovering soudam? hmm.
kazuichi is the ultimate mechanic, which is one of the talents in the game that actually gets used? he makes the communicators in chap 3 and fixes the elevator in chap 4. besides that, he is also important to the second chapter since he helped tie up komaeda and he also brought hinata to the diner, though that has nothing to do with his talent.
he learned to be a great mechanic from working at his dad's repair shop or garage or whatever its called. its mentioned that their family is pretty poor, and i think the concept of a character being at one point or another un-wealthy pretty interesting (did that come strange? sorry). he worked to help get their family money he is a good boy, he mentions being better than his dad too. he doesnt look like the typical mechanic, except from the greasy hair and jumpsuit (im talking specifically about his color scheme) and thats another one of those quirks that make no sense but i just like haha
speaking of his parents, lets talk about a popular headcanon that fans have of souda's dad (before we start i wanna state that my opinion on this topic and the topic of souda relationship towards sonia and his trust issues were all stem from an analysis video of him on youtube, if u know u know, so if i want someone more competent talking about it go there, but if u dont care enough to research it or ure only reading because u like me and wanna hear me talk about something i care about dw im gonna go into detail about these anyways
the hc is that souda's dad physically abuses him. i wanna talk about why dont agree (if u wanna skip this part ill put *** when it ends so just go there <3). this hc stems from a story he tells hinata in one of the free time events where he didnt go to his previous school trips because he wanted to save money for his family, even though he really wanted to go, and he says something along the lines of how his dad "beat the crap outta him" when he didnt go.
do i think his dad hit him? probably. i dont really know how common this type of discipline is in japan, or in places with more un-wealthy people so this might be normal to them. does that make that okay? obviously not. but if the only example we get for him hitting souda is after souda does something good for the family in his own expense, it wont make sense for his father to be mad about it, right? i think he was upset his son had to give up his happiness for them, even if it was to save money. the analysis vid said it might be souda just using more dramatized words for it. He was hesitant to tell hinata that he was picked on at school, i dont think hed just admit to being abused so casually. i think his dad might have smacked him from time to time when he was younger but probably stopped the more souda grew up. if his dad really hated him he wouldnt beat him after doing something that would benefit the dad, is what im saying.
also i think that the way souda acts doesnt reflect someone who would be regularly abused... its not like im an expert, but if we for example look at tsumiki, who was canonically abused and bullied regularly, we can see a great difference. yes, souda tends to be caught off guard or scared of stuff, but usually its less of other people and more about the situation around him. he was scared of monokuma and the monobeasts and the morning after the killing gama announcement. he's also generally not that apologist about his stupid behavior... for example he doesnt feel remorse for tying up komaeda, and even threatens to tie up kuzuryuu too. i also think he said something about wanting to punch one of the other guys? this might be cuz he tends to blurt out his thoughts stupidly and doesnt know how to hold his tongue (something that, if he was abused, would probably get him in trouble) but he never recoils from what he said. he whines about being judged, like after letting slip that he was thinking of sonia in a creepy way, but he never goes back and is afraid that someone might punish him or hurt him. like how tsumiki apologizes for the smallest thing at claims that she'll take any punishment.
it might also be because i generally dont like hcing characters with abusive parents haha. i know for a lot of characters its a part of what makes them who they are, but if thats not the case i feel like its always to excuse the character from some frowned upon trait they have.
its a bit difficult to explain so ill take an example from a different character from a different show. todoroki from mha was abused as a child, and its a part of what makes him him, and its a big part of his character, even if hes not in that situation anymore. i wont deny it. now, theres a hc that some people like to believe about bakugou's parents, specifically his mom, being abusive. this isnt canon. first of all everyone is entitled to hc what they want but a lot of the time i feel this is a way to explain his asshole behavior (also i just love mitsuki). i dont like excusing his fucked up actions and blaming his parents. i think that him being an asshole from the ideals that he himself made is kind of what made him interesting. he believes in what he learned from his own experiences that he and only he had. his stupid child thinking made him the gross person he is, and thats way more interesting than blaming his parents' behavior, like we can do with reason in todoroki's case. todoroki acts antagonistic at the start of the show because of the pressure his dad put on him.
now going back to souda, by making his dad abusive a lot of people linked that to him being a creep towards sonia. while i do see how his parents and their expectations might be a motivator, i prefer to blame souda himself for his wrong actions. i dont want to excuse his actions like that. its more interesting to see him grow from the ideals and reasonings he made himself.
***
now let's talk about his relationship with hinata! woo!
canonically, hinata is the person souda is closes to in the game, even though most of the time hinata is just tolerating his stupid behavior. except in his free time events maybe. their relationship is probably the biggest character development souda gets.
lets talk about his past a little more.
souda tells hinata that he used to be picked on for looking like a nerd. he had black hair (but i hc it more like dark brown, because reminder this is a post gushing about my fav character first and an canalization second), brown eyes (in hc world dull pale brown cuz a lot of the char's eyes are dull and pale colored) and glasses (hc: thin and rectangle shaped). he's not really a nerd... except that he's probably good at math and that type of things, since he builds machines and all. if i remember correctly, he says his bullied got away with what they did because he tends to be naive and trusts too easily. he was also used by his best friend that cheated off of his test, blamed souda for it (which he didnt really mind, showcasing how much not a nerd he is if he doesnt care about his studying and tests like that) and then kinda ghosted after feeling bad. but at the time souda was really heartbroken and felt betrayed, this whole situation gave him trust issues because that his naive heart cant tell when someone really wants to be his friend or if they'll drop him when they dont need him anymore.
souda and hinata start off being friends because souda didnt like any of the other guys enough (fair enough, hinata is the most normal one lol) and he tolerated him enough to go to the diner on the second island to spy on the girls with him. at the time kuzuryuu was still an asshole to everyone, but the two do get friendlier after the second trial (survivor boys bff agenda. i did say "bff coded" didnt i?)
souda tells hinata that after his ex best friend left him, he kinda went through something-- he dyed his hair, put in contacts, and pierced his ears (which i like to think was really scare to him) (and i assume this is when he started to wear bright colors, but i like to think he was always a fan of them (aiura and teru kinnie)) to make himself more intimidating (like i said in the list! remember the list?!) so that he wont be picked on. i assume the bullying he experienced was more emotional that physical, and he was probably called names for his nerdy appearance and was made to do tasks for toxic friends and somethings like that. tsumiki was physically bullied and she has bandages all over her design while souda rolls up all his sleeves and has his collar bone exposed while there is no marks on him. maybe he's have some scars from beginner's mechanical mistakes but thats hc territory.
anyways, because of his appearance change, he got some attention from flirtations girls and said that it had intimidated him. i imagine that while he was in his nerd looking mode, he didnt get much attention from the other sex so when they only started approaching him with the assumption he's some punk badass, that was probably a bit overwhelming for him and thats why he has a strained relationship with the female sex. he does kind of sexualize the girls, specifically in the second chapter, but honestly its not really that bad. it kind of even feels a little forced, like he said nanami had "huge jugs" and wonders if this "is what moe gap is" or something like that but he doesnt even say anything about wanting her lmao. the only girl he really shows any interest is sonia, and he mostly gushes about her beauty, instead of her body. not that thats really any better ofc.
he does get along with some of the girls or at least acts normal and not incel-y towards them, like whenever he's angry at saionji, when he felt awkward next to tsumiki or when he made minimaru for owari (though he did mainly do that to impress sonia). when alter ego enoshima suggest putting him between her boobs or whatever batshit crap she said he just yelled he's get crushed, so like. good for him for not being toooo bad. so yeah i do think there are reasons why souda's best friend woudlnt be a girl (for now, at least) and thats why it really is hinata.
and while hinata has other friends, his and souda's connection is special <3 some examples: he is friends with nanami, but they dont really get each other, or at least hinata doesn't feel too connected at her at times cuz shes like a robot and doesnt really get emotions to the full extent. canonically, his and komaeda's relationship is just not... bros, yknow? whatever it is its not "bros". he and souda are bros. i know that he and kuzuryuu consider each other brothers but i feel like while the friendship they have is great, hinata would be more comfortable just letting loose and being stupid with souda. they could connect by being stupid together and distracting one another from the bad in the world by being fun. cuz souda can be fun when he isnt stressed.
but since souda is an emotional character (i dunno if i mentioned this, if u didnt know souda beforehand hes emotional as shit and cries constantly, my beloved) they can get close the two of them emotionally and are empathetic enough to be able to comfort each other. that is, when souda trusts his enough to do that.
thats right. as much as id like to say souda is loyal like a dog, he doesnt really show that in the game lol. because of his experience with his ex friend, souda has trust issues, which i think i already touched upon (idk this is so fucking long im tryna go thru this one topic at a time but good god) and these issues come up in his and hinata's relationship, mainly chap 4. to put it simply cuz honestly the plot doesnt really matter in this context: souda suspects hinata to be a traitor, and because in chap 4 the characters are not allowed to eat, this probably makes him more stressed and causes him to think even more rationally. after the chap is over, in souda's last free time event, he invites hinata to the beach and order him to punch himself.
his actions are really silly here, but basically: hinata shows in souda trust, which makes souda feel like a bad friend, because he couldnt bring himself to trust hinata even though hinata didnt do anything wrong. he feels that their friendship is unfair and that he's the cause of this problem. so i guess he knows he'll get into an argument or a fight because of it, or maybe he wants to give hinata a reason to not trust him so he bring hinata to the beach so they could fist fight. but souda doesnt like to harm people cuz soda is a good boy tm so he asks hinata to do the work for him (which he does not do lol. they communicate and talk like normal friends). this is where souda tells hinata about his past being bullied, after in the last free time event hinata said he could see souda hanging out with the cool kids, so this is where he confides that hes not a cool kid. anyways souda comes to the conclusion that hes more scared of being a bad friend and a coward because of his trust issued that actually being betrayed, and tells hinata that he'll trust him. hooray!
in my mind they are suchhhh good friends. i dont mind shipping souda with a lot of the characters, but it think their friendship is the most important to me. i love them!
now lets get into his relationship with sonia!
i do, in fact, think that his crush on her is fake. i do think he believes in it. but he does not realize that the created a version of her brought on by her general politeness, her status as a princess and her beauty, in his mind that every day strays farther away from the real sonia. he denies her liking of the occult and other scary stuff that turns him off and he acts shocked when she admits to being a virgin (yikes. at least he doesnt really shame her. i think it just ruins his image of her-- again, yikes-- but he ignores it mostly. like he ignores her, the real her, most of the times)
i dont know why he needs a romantic relationship specifically so desperately, but i can think of why he wants that puppy love admiration that he has for her. she, or at least the way he makes her in his mind, is wildly out of her league. sure he wants a girlfriend, but deep down he knows hell never get her. thats why when she turns him down again and again he only gets hurt for like a minute. she even suggests she would rather he be the blackened in the 4th trial and he gets over it pretty quickly. this is the reason he wants to like someone out of his reach so much-- because he cant get hurt from her. he isnt being betrayed or heartbroken like his ex best friend did to him (yes this is about the trust issues again) because he never expected to be with her in the first place. by expecting failure by chasing a girl that is so so out of his league (a pretty perfect princess) he knows what he gets when hes turned down. to him, this is better than actually making an effort with someone he is genuinely attached to because in that case he might actually get his feelings hurt. we see this with his relationship with hinata, though it isnt in a romantic sense. sadly, after they become close friends, he still chases after sonia, but that might be because the player isnt guaranteed to play all of souda's free time events.
this stuff probably will take time for souda to understand. ofc this doesnt really justify his actions and creepy behavior towards her... i like to think that at some point (i constantly forget that dr is a game about killing each other and the apocalypse, but ig this can take place in here too since they both survive) he understands where his problem stem from, maybe with a conversation with hinata or kuzuryuu and he learns and he asks forgiveness from sonia and changes his behavior. the long and hard way!!! my boy did something stupid and he has to make up for it!!!! he will take responsibility because thats what good character writing is!!
itll probably be difficult to come to terms that the girl in his mind, that i do believe he actually fell in love with, is not real. he will cope <3
briefly i'd like to mention souda's and kuzuryuu's relationship i think they are bffs #2 honestly i feel that the both of them plus hinata could be the best trio they are such wholesome guys from all corners of the bro spectrum let the be friends<333 idk maybe even add owari. owari and souda sibling energy <3 this is just hc territory at this point. mioda and souda sibling energy!!!!! for more kuzuryuu and souda friendship read the fic Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi's Guide to Despair Disease: A How-To Take Care of Your Friends(?) Without Spiraling Out Of Control Story. still a wip.
hmmm that was a lot. lets talk about some hcs cuz believe it or not i dont just think of his as what he is canonically, but also what he could be!
ok lets talk about appearances (still canon atm:) he is short-- one of the shortest guys in the cast cuz fuyuhiko and teruteru dont count (thats a plus) and he is, sadly, pretty ripped. it makes since cuz he prob carries heavy stuff and moves his arms a lot for his talent of being a mechanic but when a (male) character is TOO ripped and not for a good reason (for example theres a good reason why nidai or oowada are physically strong cuz of their talents, and some characters are just himbos that deserve it like momota) i just look at them like :|. but it think souda deserves some strong arms <3 he is a cuddler. he would. i just dont think he's impressively ripped. like i think he could sprint fast, but not for long, and that girls wouldnt flawk him for his arms (if they already knew who he was) cuz all in all he is still a wimp loser and he will stay as such, please and thank you.
im a big fan of his narrow eyes. theyre just. dont make sense on him i love it. just like the sharp teeth, he is blessed with looking the opposite of his personality.
now lets talk about post canon appearances! in the world of canon, where the most tragic event in history happens and they were a part of the despair refinements and they live the neo world program (i always forget they dont live in my lil modern day normal aus, ugh), i think he would wake up still looking like how he did in his depair era. idk how long theyre like that but this is my personal hc: hair that reaches his chest, some ugly dulled down pink still sticking to the tips of his messy hair, no hat </3 but his hair is long enough that he doesnt have that hedgehog thing going on </3, no contacts, no glasses, probably scars over his arms and one over the side of his lips like that rio penguin from madagascar (also curse that show for making my tiny stupid child brain think there are penguins in the desert. at least there are such a thing as beach penguins... hmm). i think he would cut his hair to be shorter that it is in canon, a bit longer than hajime's and would resemble saihara's except brown, parted and no ahoge. he wold be dispensation by the length. he would also wear a cap (the normal way) and with his natural colors back, he would look very snuggble :)) he would hug everyone he would be the comfort giver at least to the survivors (this is the part where u realize how insame i am for him lol)
in a world where the end of it didnt happen, i feel like he would feel kind lonely for a while after school, and wouldnt care enough to wear contacts and would go back to glasses, and he wouldnt dye his hair (i just really like his naturality okay i know i said i liked him at first for his colors but this is character growth! he is learning that he doesnt need to be intimidating to get friends!!!) his hair would be a little longer than canon but not by much. i just have this au where he works in an office and there he meets kamukura (who, personality wise is just hinata but depressed) and they become bffs dont at me, and this is how he looks in that au, wearing a button down without the tie and the sleeves rolled up. i do think hed wear obnoxious colors in his free time tho <3
maybe i should get into ships a little? mostly i shipped him with tanaka because i love me some rivals to lovers that isnt angst filled and is mostly just petty. theys either be salty towards each other or tanaka would be very intense in his friendship and souda would be tsundere-ish, not the obnoxious type tho. imagine how denji acts towards yoshida. (denji and souda are actually really alike. before i knew anything about csm my twt mutual told me id prob like denji cuz i like souda and.. well he was right)
but recently i dont really focus on shipping souda with anyone as much as i focus on his friendship with hinata (am i the only one who watched gg compilations and put their faces behind the silly conversations? like i imagine their sprites laughing while the video plays. is that weird? them and also saihara&momota. cuz theyre the same relationship!!! tactful mc and their friendly dumb bro! they!!!). also if u recall i made that drawing of souda with a bunch of ships so its not like loyal lol.
also why are souda and tanaka together constantly in the anime... i think its the end song where theres a slide show of all the characters in class in places like a picnic and the beach and stuff and the two of them are almost together. theyre at the very least friends. that dynamic where they both look intimidating but theyre both so fucking stupid. frienemies. <333 they are so <333 theyd be friedns at least!!! thank you for the anime for realizing that.
i also like to imagine that he and tsumiki would be friends <3 they were both bullied, they both cry a lot and arent really taken seriosuly, at least when it comes to their emotions. i think theyd hug and cry together and be friends :) also as couple they could be very cute.
i dont really know what more to say... i think this is it! i dont know what about kazuichi souda makes me love him so much. he is flawed but not to the point of being unlikable. he is unique but can easily be related to! i care about him so much... the amount of aus i come up and put him in... i dont post so much about him, but know he is my love. ofc i dont have romantic feelings for him some ppl just thirst over their favs i wanna preface that aint the case. not cuz of his age (im close to him in age) but cuz i just... dont feel and romantic or thristy feelings towards anyone so istg if anyone says something stupid to me about that.
thats all! i think this is the longest post ive ever made? when i got this ask last night i thought id write about all those characters i mentioned at the start but then when i went to bed i thought about my answer and realized i have a lot to say lol.
to the one person who actually read until the end, if u even exist (who knows myabe this was for nothing, i still had fun), you're insane. and i hope u have a great rest of ur day. if u didnt know who souda was before this... well u certainly do now (also why did u read this?) sometimes i just gotta rant about something i adore haha. its been a while since i went all out cuz me and my irl dont watch the same shows. i hope i made whoever read this love souda! at least a little!
this post is 5787 words long... im not rereading this
#this post is an investment#kazuichi souda#character analysis#also this is not proofread so expect a bunch of typos haha
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I don't often ever really talk about these things but like, does anyone else have MAJOR franchise fatigue?
Marvel, Star Wars, Disney, HARRY FUCKING POTTER
I am so done with them all.
I'm gonna rant about Harry Potter for a bit. Fair warning.
I got tired of Harry Potter well over 10 years ago. The final movies hadn't even been released and because I have the disadvantage of living in bloody England Harry Potter bullshit has been EVERYWHERE for TWO FUCKING DECADES. I remember my friend dragging me to the studio tour because she got tickets for her bday. I like movie BTS stuff but my god the amount of BUY THIS BUY THAT that gets shoved in your face drove me mad. Proud to say that other than the OG books I read when I was a teenager I have never owned a single bit of HP merchandise in my LIFE. It took my irl friends bullying me to finally go on pottermore and get sorted into a Hogwarts house when I was 27. TWENTYSEVEN. I resisted for years!! I don't even care. They sat me down and made me log on to that stupid website and take the stupid quiz whilst I raised an eyebrow the whole time and tried to smile and pretend it was fun. After all, I'm not actually a total bitch and they are my friends and were enjoying themselves and I didn't wanna upset them. But why do I need to know if I'm a hufflepuff or whatever? Oh thats right, so I can buy the appropriate MERCHANDISE.
You know real witches make their wands? They go out and find a tree and ask the tree if they can take a branch, you have to give the tree something back and say a blessing. You can add crystals or ribbon or whatever you want but a wand is NOT something you buy in a bloody shop. I hate that HP made kids think that.
Why would anyone wanna buy a game about a nearly 3 decade old franchise thats been shoved in all our faces practically our whole lives (if you are a millennial or younger). Im not a gamer anyway so I don't get the appeal but even without all the transphobia and antisemitism involved the whole concept is extremely tiresome to me.
Can we please be done with Harry Potter now??? I dont wanna see it. I dont wanna see anything about it. I didnt give a fuck when I was in my early twenties and I dont give a fuck now in my late thirties its never been any fucking good. Its a rip off of Lord of the rings crossed with the writing of Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman anyway.
For years I felt awkward even mentioning to people that I didnt like Harry Potter, like it was a cardinal sin or something. I'm glad people are finally seeing it for what it truly it, even though I wish it didnt take the lives and rights of transpeople to get to this point. Its disgusting that its still so damn popular even WITH JKRs blatant transphobia. I hope the boycotts work. Trans and Jewish people you have my love and support, for both your sakes and so that bloody franchise can stop being shoved in my face everytime I leave the bloody house. Im glad people are finally picking it apart and realising how problematic it was. Things I think made me uncomfortable about it before I really understood the depth of reasons why.
I have been obsessed with witchcraft and paganism since I was a child. I was a weird kid. Harry Potter turned something I was passionate about in a deeply personal way into a consumerist nightmare. Witch became synonymous with it, spells, charms, magic, I'm honestly surprised JKR didnt try to copyright the terms.
Look I dont often talk about social issues. My tumblr is my escape from the injustices of the world and I take my mental health very seriously. But I support trans and jewish people in boycotting this game.
I care about trans rights, about the rights of LGBTQA+ people. The rise of antisemitism AGAIN deeply disturbs me. People truly never learn from history do they? I try to do my bit where I can offline. I have signed petitions, I have donated to causes where I have found them and I am most definitely gonna do my damndest to get everyone I know to vote the transphobic (and otherwise generally evil in every way) Tory government OUT at the next election.
This rant may come across a bit selfish. It is tbh. I am fucking glad Harry Potter isnt popular anymore. Though outside of online communities particularly in the UK its still huge and everywhere. I wish we could wipe it off the face of the Earth.
I am fed up of all these franchises though. If I never have to sit through another Marvel movie it'll be a happy day. If I never have to hear the fucking Star Wars theme again I'll celebrate, if I never have to read about another Disney remake again Ill be so relieved (although I do get some satisfaction reading about them flopping). This post capitalism hellscape we exist in is fucking exhausting.
What we really need to do with these franchises though is pull an Avatar on them (the blue people not the cool cartoon). We need to stop talking about them. Stop letting them infect our collective cultural consciousness. The only way to get them out of our faces is to actually let them die. We did it right with Fantastic Beasts. We can do it again. Remember that in capitalism, even negative press is good press, and the more the press focuses on the controversies and discourse, the more the name of the game is getting into the minds of consumers, especially those that dont give a fuck about trans rights or antisemitism.
I dont know where it ends, but my god I hope it HAS an end. Something surely has got to give right? Anyways. I dunno if there was a point to this rant other than im fed up of a lot of things and feeling particularly grumpy today, but anyways. Boycott Harry Potter and all things related to it.
Support trans rights. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Enough of this bullshit already.
#anti harry potter#boycott hogwarts legacy#trans rights#personal#sometimes i need to rant#and today was one of those days
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I have found a better method to spam you and not miss anything and also get through the episode at the same time as you can see
Watching the show on thr laptop simultaneously taking notes and YELLING on tumblr using the phone
Dude is that hopper??? Holy shit i think thats him he looks exactly like i though and also NOT like i thought
God those houses really do be screaming 1980s american house
Yooo thats fucking jonathan oh shit hold on will time
Jonathans about to eat shit huh
Oh boy school time
Oh my fucking god theyre so fucking small why are they so small
Little bitch of a child you are 3 feet and a mouthful of spit tall you vould be picked uo by your belt and taken along for a walk like a suitcase step the fuck down i will strangle
I love dustin so much baby baby baby
Someone protect them from the BULLIES.
I love season 1 jonathan so much. Big brother feels all over the place.
I hope you love Joyce, she is a hellcat, she is the one ready to protect the kids out the gate.
god you're about to meet Barb and Steve I'm dying
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I truly think the internet has rotted out humanity's sense of importance.
[explains exactly why the mark p caps are best kept where they are between appropriate sources, and that people feetstomping don't matter]
"BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR REPUTATION"
i don't fucking care what a bunch of rumor mongers who have no fuckin idea what's going on have as opinions. Are you in fucking high school? Idiots are idiots when you have the information and they don't and they try to have opinions. Them trying to essentially bully you so they can feel entitled and serviced and in the know or whatever else is just. lmfao. that's your internal issues externalizing. not mine.
When you care about the real world and results, THEE least important thing is the opinion of a bunch of uneducated twitter/tumblr trolls.
"WELL WITH WHAT JENSEN SAID I HAVE AN IDEA TO 'GET YOU BACK INTO FANDOM GRACES'."
I don't. fucking. care. what's not clicking in your heads that i don't need any of your approval? like. again, you realize this isn't high school, right? "good graces" of WHOM? The fucking assholes about to be irrelevant in the new flood of fans? The morons who have no idea what's happening, which basically included you until The Man That Be said it to your fucking face?
I DONT FUCKING CARE. Like. genuinely. your egos need to fuckin get crucified dudes. who are you. what do you have, know, what have you accomplished, and why do i need your approval or to care what anyone thinks? idiots are idiots, even idiots in large groups.
Stop sending me this shit. I don't WANT back into the moron short bus you call BNF fandom, i'm happy to watch them crash into a brick wall in a few months from here.
I'm happy to continue to keep mark p minding his shit lest he have to leave more cons or be unable to update his current ongoing contracts, which would be a damn shame. [tiny violin] but we don't do that shit by complying to the whims of every fuckbag online that wants to feel special. Thats not how we sunk TAW and that's not how we do anything else.
And most of fucking all, when you get shut down as not important, don't try to patch your fucking irrelevant egos by spinning it around. "healthy reminder, nobody else is talking about this" says person that wanders 2 months fucking late and ignores the replies of people that were talking about it at the time, but they came in to talk about it, ignoring everybody that talked about it or whatever the FUCK.
Like jesus SHIT people. COPE. You. don't. matter. your. opinions. don't. matter. 2p0's. screeching. doesn't. matter.
reality matters.
whatever mean girls shit you got in your head then pee yourselves when you told you don't matter, that's your own shit to unpack.
yeah. real adults that care about real things don't care what uneducated morons that are about to get eradicated think. more news at 11
This shit looked childish as fuck even when I was actually in highschool when people pulled this shit. The fact that grown assed adults are shamelessly eschewing their common sense and living dick-out-ego-out parasocially online is. I'm. you get those are your issues. not mine. we don't all fucking care about how popular your take is online.
some of us just care about being like. right. and true. and honest. And most of all, effective. sorry. you tell me how you fit that plan you can get info. But until then, WHO the fuck are you again?
oh right. most of you motherfuckers are all about to crash and burn in about 3 months and are just making banshee noises while you sail at the wall at light speed. yeah, definitely the fuckin thrill ride or approval I'm looking for. and when it crashes they'll all conveniently have amnesia or excuses for this shit.
By all means. band all those little bnfs together and ur hubs and ur idea of take over and file all the motherfuckers in the world into your orbit to read your nonsense so even these new kids will know within only a few MONTHS you are all lying piece of shit nobodies that know nothing more than they do. Like please. Please just laser burn this rotten ass BNF fandom and its impact waves off the fucking planet. Please keep setting yourselves up for self eradication. I'd love the new fandom to make their own ties without your made up garbage flooding everything.
like i said, bitch. welcome to nola. we do it different here. The Winchesters plot is about to go all west bank on your asses and you're out here not even knowing what the fuck that MEANS. You guys aren't ready for your precious largely white fragility bubbles to get shattered ksjSJDFSKDFS
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Pantheon Season 1 episode 1
"Oh no she's like one of those not like other grirls"
WHAT THE FUCK thats so much worse than usual bullying, mimicking her??
I thought the girls were mimicking her to make fun of her
BUT its actually the end of the world right?
IS THE TEENAGE BOY A CLONE OF HER DAD
(I did see ads for season 2 so I'm prolly spoilered)
I wanna be someone's grandma vibe, cheer them up
DON'T ACEPT IT YOU DUMBASS WHY
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TOYOURSELF
I would hate not kniwng but its called "fUG club" thats already hurtful enough, just don't touch that shit
why are humans so cruel man?????
Her dad's in the computer
XDDDDDD
"whomst?" "GHOST emoji and closes" fucking ufnny
KEEP YOUR COMPUTER SAGE
The teenage girls are vaguely realistic which is interesting
The dad is fucking with their computers and thats crazy
I saw her going up those stairs and went "holy shit she's ghibli movie walking up stairs"
100% her dad
CASPER THE UNFRIENDLY GOTH
"Don't talk to him just in case he shoots up the school" AHAHAHA AHAHHAHhahahahah KINDA FUNNY realisitc
I'm amazed I haven't seen more of this dude on tumblr, he's like 100% your type
AH
Theres the clone!
HE EVEN ASKED FOR proof
My friend was like "Watch it" and I was like "lol I know theres a clone"
and then i saw it and sent a msg of "point and laughing" thats so funny
I like that people are smart, I hope they don't stop being smart
WHY IS SHE IMAGINIGN HIM SHOWERING
out of the things?? I get it skin to skin but yoou know
She fucking her kid's teacher??
THE TEACHER IS IN ON IT I BET
OH FUCK THAT
he aboutta get uploaded
the dad sucks
why is he being taught like this???
I get the idea of making he upset because like then he wont get attached to people but like he didn't need to be that bad did they????
they couldn't have normal family amount of fucked upness??
Now I'm questioning whether my life is normal vibes
holy shit holy shit
people are so stupid why would you ever trap geniuses in a computer????
#Pantheon#Pantheon spoilers#spoilers#pantheon season 1 episode 1#pantheon season 1 episode 1 spoilers
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P. S. A For All Cncowners
Ok imma go on a rant😤 this needs to be said, some of Y'all in this fandom idolize the boys way too much, y'all put them on a pedestal and its rediculous because the fact of the matter is they're just like every other guy our age, they party, they hook up, do and say stupid shit and sometimes they need to be called out on their shit so they can learn and grow as people. Just because they're celebs doesn't mean they shouldn't be held accountable for their stupid actions. Some of y'all think they are perfect and thats a problem because they're not and there is nothing wrong with that. Y'all can't blow up on them everytime they try to grow up either, I'd be concerned if their music wasn't evolving as they got older, they're grown men they're obviously not going to want to write and sing cheesy, sappy romantic kids bop songs forever, if they wanna write more mature songs they should be aloud to and if you have a problem with more mature songs or even them having and kissing girls in their videos keep it to yourself, why should they have to stunt their growth because you decided to throw a petty tantrum.
On another note some of y'all are way too attached to the boys acting like every single bit of criticism said about them(which most of the time they deserve) is a personal attack to you, which it is not. I get that you care about them, I do too, but they still need to be called out on their bullshit and held accountable for the stupid shit they do and say and just because people call them out or even if they have a different opinion on the boys to you does not give you the right to send them hate and bully them, because that behavior is fucking disgusting and if you send hate to anyone you should be ashamed of yourself, there is no excuse for treating people like shit just because you don't agree with them or because they called your fave out, like grow tf up, if you can't say anything nice then keep that shit to yourself because spreading unnecessary hate just makes the fandom a toxic place and makes people wanna leave and then y'all wonder why everyone has left, like why tf would they stick around if people are gonna send them hate anons and bully them, why would anyone stick around. Also if you are that emotionally invested in the boys and their personal lives maybe you should take a step back and realize that you are way too attached and its not healthy, like none of us really know these boys, we only know what they project to us. People need to start being more conscious of how they act on the Internet.
Also The fact that it took nadia posting screenshots for y'all to be like now I kinda feel bad, maybe we owe those girls an apology, like for fuck sake of course you owe them an apology and a proper one, not an apology were you try to excuse your behavior, because the fact of the matter is it doesn't matter what you thought at the time your behavior and the tings you said are fucking disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself because they are real people with real feelings that you really hurt and if you knew who was sending hate and didn't say anything you are just as bad, you stayed silent and allowed the hate to continue until it ran people off of tumblr that came on here to have fun. It really just isn't exceptible to bully people ever, grow up and take accountability for your actions. Also one last thing if you don't like someone or don't agree with them and their opinions block them, the block button is free, don't send hate.
#cncowners#PSA#this is a psa#think before you post hateful shit online#why would you send hate when you know its going to negatively impact that person#this fandom has some real fucking growing up to do#if you don't like or agree with someone block them its that simple
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heyy your bored and im bored,, lets be bored 2gether 💗💗💕💕 here let me bless you with another hc <33 (not sure if you saw it but im totally 100% okay if you use one of my hcs <3)
hmm now that we talked about klee and qiqi, i feel like its only fair we talk about diona!
diona huh.. i personally associate her with diluc bc its ironic. they both hate wine and yet contribute to its success. personally i cant fucking see diluc being on twitch or streaming. dont think its his vibe,, WAIT🤩 HE OWNS A PODCAST!!
xiao and qiqi were once guests in the podcast, and diona watched the episode- and my god- was world war 3 coming,, diona couldn't believe her EYES
alsjspadjd your telling ME that qiqi is now the fan favorite instead of DIONA?!?? outrageous!! diona was FUMING when she found out. now she has this vendetta against qiqi and feels the need to always one up her, and what better way than to make xiao suffer? 😈😈
diona BEGS for you to interact and collab with diluc, its only so fans put more attention on the both of you and not xiao thus less attention for qiqi! and is xiao not happy with this...
hutao LOVES this plot twist! she finds it amusing to see xiao grumble and mutter under his breath about the article he saw this morning about how diluc would be better for you than him. (oo jealous xiao arc 👀)
sighs.. first xiao is being bullied by child and aether, then he cant even confess to you, and now he has to deal with diona's little war... when can he ever catch a break? 😔😔
omg bored 2gether,,, are you inviting me on a bored date 👀 /j LOL rin every time you come into my inbox i get hyped 2 read your awesome hcs ASDKJSK (omg i actually didn't see it so tysm !!!)
THE MEGA CUTE TRIO !! as we should they deserve the world i want 2 give them headpats and hugs <3
HELP I ALWAYS IMAGINE DILUC KINDA BEING LIKE A FATHER FIGURE TO DIONA??? ik she already has a dad and that's totally fine but in my magical hc world diluc is bad with kids bc he seems so grumpy but diona is a tsundere so she gets along fine with him after finding out that he too hates wine (that doesn't mean she doesn't scold him abt being a wine tycoon every day tho !!)
PODCAST DILUC GRRR BARK WOOF why is that so cool,,, i bet venti teases him and says diluc WISHES his podcast was as popular as genshin weekly (spoiler alert it actually is, hence why diluc is so rich while venti is decidedly not) LMAOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOO XIAO AND QIQI BEING INTERVIEWED TOGETHER THATS SO CUTE IM ASCENDING AND DIONA GETTING MAD 😭😭😭 BRO DIONA WAS READY TO MIX A WHOLE POISONED DRINK LMFAOOAKJSDKJS
POOR QIQI OMG 😭 diona,,, bestie,,, make it make sense 😧 HELP SHES MAD AT QIQI SO SHE TARGETS XIAO THATS SO SAD LMAJKDKSJ XIAO IS GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION LMAOOOO
y/n x diluc best ship 😍😍😍 you can bet your life xiao is majorly pissed when he sees this on his twitter tl he blocked that account so fast HELPAJSKDAKJS he probably complains on his spam account with some freaking bart simpson sad memes LMFAOOSAKDJAKSJ
honestly ik hu tao just likes it bc it annoys xiao and she LITERALLY ADDS FUEL TO THE FIRE by tweeting abt how cute the episode where diluc interviewed you was,,, she's like 'ooo new ship 👀' and xiao is like '😐😐😐 no.' JEALOUS XIAO ARC SO TRUE,,, and he can't say anything abt it bc the two of you aren't dating so what right does he have to fuss about who you're collabing with??? wait, does that mean if you date him the diluc x y/n agenda will be stopped ?! xiao suddenly gains the courage to FINALLY confess... and you accept and suddenly you're kissing him?! or so he thought, until he woke up the next morning and had to take a cold shower 😔
HELP I LOVE THIS SM 🥺‼ poor xiao omg 😭 and y/n is NOT completely oblivious but she thinks it's funny to tease xiao bc she's too scared to confess as well,,, so perhaps this is just a crazy way of weaseling a confession out of the super aloof xiao??? 👀
pov i wake up and rin has hacked into my tumblr account and finished cynosure,,, HAHAHSKJKSD /j pls don't hack me T_T LOL anyways ily darling !! i hope you have/had a great day, make sure to stay hydrated <3
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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr
What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^
Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))
What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.
Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.
What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.
What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….
Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)
Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.
Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).
Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.
Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.
Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”
so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D
- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]
- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd
- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho
- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333
- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!
- gotta love tsukishima <3
- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)
- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw
- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more
- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too
so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333
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i hate feeling so off and not being able to pin down why because there’s SO many little things it could be
like! its weird, im still doing things like hobbies but im having no love for them at the moment, something is just its missing. i just want to lay down all day
is it bc im nervous abt health stuff? maybe. did i burn myself out with the sheer amount of paintings i’ve been doing? have i put too many big projects on my plate?
am i lonely??? probably. pretty much every person i talk to regularly is having a rough time and i cant do anything to help. are some of them annoyed with me? idk! probably!! all the servers i hang out in are either quiet or like. impenetrable. im trying so hard to get into the group in one server, but bc a minecraft roleplay took over their time, they just, they barely show any recognition to anything outside of that. i comment on their minecr*ft stuff, despite having zero context, but when i make handy and snappy character summaries so they have an idea what im doing, i get nothing! its so alienating! i dont even know why im trying!
i ache to show more people lost and found, but after that dumbfuck decided that if you see the surviving v*ssels as adults ur a problematic creep i have no confidence on putting it on ao3. just! yknow, despite the fact we DONT know how old gh*st was when they climbed from the abyss. we DONT know how v*ssel aging both physically and mentally works. we DONT know how holl*w got so tall. we literally know NOTHING so all bets are open! ‘the v*ssels are naturally small and h*llow was made to be big by some form of magic training enhancement’ is a valid read on the subject! as is thinking they’re physically kids! just! you cant decide people who dont agree with your HEADCANON are morally wrong that’s so fucking dangerous. the story isnt even abt anything like that really! there’s some romance, but its ultimately about moving on, about coming to terms with ur grief! and yet! if i mention that gh*st and leaf are old then oooooooooo, some teenagers with too much time on their hands wont like that!!1111!!!11 get a fucking life.
heck, thats something that’s been irritating me too just the ‘my headcanon is right, everyone else is wrong’ no!!! no!!! dear god watch the source material again! get out of your own head!
tumblr culture as a whole is just, man its been getting to me too. everyone says its better here now and i dont exactly agree. the aphobes are still here. theyre just on the downlow and tell u not to ask them abt ace discourse bc they’re “past it” but then they still make jokes. pan people are a fun new target for a growing number of people! :) there’s been so many posts ive seen that just., they feel outright mean. the border on bullying i dont care if they’re a joke, it feels like this site is full of teenage bullies who think they’re all right and fun and dont get me started on the amount of policing posts im just! AAAAAAAAAA
sick of this site luv <3
i miss feeling safe outside, i miss going shopping and getting nice food. i want to eat in a cafe again
im tired man. im tired and strung out and lonely and annoyed and powerless and i want to just sleep
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To my sister
Hey sis it’s me uh
Oh I’m Eszti but you also knew me as your big sister so
Sorry, I called you the wrong name, see abusive seems more fitting
See you may not have been like my grandparents who beat for the “religious crimes” I was committing
But doing what you did hurt me worse then any type of physical hitting
You know what was up, you know when we were young I loved you more then a sister
Had me in the bathroom saying “stop kissing and try to resist her”!
You felt it too, you may not admit it to your husband
Afraid of admitting what we had will get you into some trouble
I still remember when we were kids you abandoned me like I was nothing
Our grandparents caught us in bed together while we were lovin
We both got a beating so bad my leg was too broke for running.
So we made a pact of trust that we will help each other through the abuse no matter what
Until you chickened out and threw me under the bus, called me a pervert, faggot, molester, a child of Satan and everything under the sun, saying you tried to keep it hidden but now that your done
Until the next day you left in a hurry leaving broken me as the only one
My grandparents believed all your lies and as a result my torment had begun
For the first few months they locked me in the closet, thinking that being isolated will cure me being gay but did the opposite
What made it worse was the only contact I had was my domestic kidnappers who gave me some food and read me bible versus
From everyday since then I wanted to be carried away in a hearse, and you leaving only made it worse
I sat wondering if I’d ever see the light that keeps being preached to me, but not being able to tell if it was night or day made me even more gloomy
Trying to find anything in the closet thats sharp and can go right through me
After a few months of isolation my grandparents let me out, there only reason was so cops wouldn’t be called to the house
I had to enroll back in school which is exactly what I did, not knowing what to do and suffering from trauma as a kid
I was always the shy one and you knew that, without you I can’t even talk to others for 5 minutes without getting a heart attack and falling flat
Dealing with so much at school then coming home to be beaten. I was too scared to call the cops for so many reasons
A few days of school and I painted my school uniform black, it was symbolic for what I see when my parents used to break objects on my back
Because I blacked out from the pain, not that you would know, you lived a happy life day by day
Getting no sleep and being beat until sunrise, why didn’t I just die, because the lord wanted to see my demise for my crimes
I admit it, yes I fell in love with my own sister, we tried our best to keep it hidden but that doesn’t mean we need to be killed for being different
No childhood, at the park I tried to make my mark, but it was ruined when my grandma would tell the children that I will cut and gut them and hang them up like art
That’s why in all of grandmas photos the children stand far apart, all the kids together smiling and the kid in the back standing in the dark
The bullying from kids got worse as the years in school progressed, mix it with abuse and social anxiety and you get a new level of stress
Wearing black while looking like a freak made me feel like I was stronger inside, because I knew my family and the lord weren’t at my side
And I never knew why, some people are just born on this earth to be used and die
On the bright side I knew when I arrived in hell that Satan couldn’t hurt me if he tried
Suicide attempt after suicide attempt made my mind twist a bit, because even at ending my own life I was dog shit
I just wanted to quit, I didn’t care living or dead I just exist and the final straw broke when I found out that half the kids that hurt me was because my grandmother paid them for it
After a over a decade of abuse from almost everyone I knew, I ran away hopeful that I could live with you
Ya know in all of those years I prayed that you would be my rescue, that you would come through
I even tried to scare my bullies off using you, I’d say “when my sister comes, their won’t be anyone she can’t breakthrough” saying it out my bloody mouth as my eye was bloodshot red from being beaten black and blue
But you never showed, did you?
It took weeks of searching and help form police to find you
I knocked on your door hoping to be reunited in open arms, but when you answered you sounded a alarm
Called your boyfriend and told him that I was trespassing and harrasing you, did your head blow a gasket
He made me leave and all I could do is cry and weep
After all those years of your lies you still blame me
You didn’t say hi or that you were sorry, I couldn’t go back to my grandparents so i joined the army
When I passed all my medical test I thought that maybe for once I’ll have a ok year
I even got my job field of being a engineer, but what I didn’t hear is that they pick the specific job, I thought I’d spend my time in the army grinding gears
But no I spent my years trying to diffuse bombs as bullets appeared, with the slightest mistake and I wouldn’t be here
So many counties seeing the worst in every human being, as you were at home worrying about premature creation of offspring
After a few years I got charged for doing the right thing, I was charged for murder when I killed terrorist?!?
Something that is celebrated by a lot of other veterans, because I was “cruel” to the very people that kill innocents is breaking the rules
I was dishonorably discharged, no pay, no benefits
Let’s not forget the negative papers to tell any future employers that I’m mentally deficient
After all this time a few days ago you decided to show up at my house with your spouse
We tried to catch up after all this time but you acted like your memory was hazzy, and you did apologize even though it was rehearsed and lazy
But what your husband said made me go crazy
Saying that he hated that I was in the army because he has “morals”
And that even though I’ve been in combat I should be able to act normal
I may have done a lot in the military, but it opened my eyes to a world I wasn't supposed to see
Made me happy that I didn't know you
But seeing you at that table made it suck cuz you didn’t give a fuck
Still after all of these years, you still hide behind your mistakes
I tried to be passive
But your husbands mouth was massive
I don’t care you love him more than me, he had to get his ass kicked
I just thought I get this off my chest, I have to type it on tumblr because I know when it comes to ignoring my calls you try your best
You will always keep lying sis
About you being a faggot, bitch
You couldn’t even look me in the eyes to talk sis
And after all of this I could still forgive you if you talk sincerely sis
But now if I ever got the chance to ask you sis
And call you
I hope you answer
I really hope you answer
When I call
I hope you pick up your phone
I want to talk to you
Please answer
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Let’s see them all, toasty 💖 1-60 Ilyyyyyy😘
Oh lord what have I done
1. selfie
2. what would you name your future kids? Alfred and Ophelia have grown on me over the last few years. Doubt I'll actually do it though.
3. do you miss anyone? Sure do, it's hard not to these days
4. what are you looking forward to? Being in a better place!
5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? There is!
6. is it hard for you to get over someone? It definitely is
7. what was your life like last year? Pretty good honesty. Had more ups than downs fortunately.
8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? Annoyed? No. Frustrated, yes.
9. who did you last see in person? My dad technically.
10. are you good at hiding your feelings? I don't verbalize them a lot but my heart is firmly attached to my sleeve so they're usually at least a little bit visible
11. are you listening to music right now? Not currently unfortunately
12. what is something you want right now? Plenty of things. I wouldn't mind a new workshop or this one cool shirt I saw on redbubble.
13. how do you feel right now? Pretty decent honestly
14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? Over the weekend maybe
15. personality description: silly goose
16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? Every day of my life
17. opinion on insecurities. Everyone has them, just don't make yours into a problem for everyone.
18. do you miss how thing were a year ago? I do. Wasn't perfect but it was nice. Nostalgia is nice but it's important to move forward
19. have you ever been to New York? ...no
20. what is your favourite song at the moment? Right now? Probably Charley Crockett's cover of Night Train to Memphis
21. age and birthday? 24, June 7
22. description of crush. Sharp as a tack, cute as a button. Extremely witty with a great singing voice.
23. fear(s) failure, physical pain, embarrassment
24. height somewhere between 5'10 and 5'11
25. role model my Grandpa
26. idol(s) I don't think I really idolize anyone
27. things i hate: slow traffic, communism, bullies.
28. i’ll love you if… you show me the barest amount of interest
29. favourite film(s) Master and Commander, Mad Max Fury Road, End of Watch, The Way Way Back, Treasure Planet
30. favourite tv show(s) Scrubs, Letterkenny, The Last Kingdom, Narcos,
31. 3 random facts: about me? I can't snap my fingers on my right hand, I've fallen asleep inside a moving helicopter, I own a collection of funny hats
32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? Even split i think
33. something you want to learn i really want to get my pilot's license
34. most embarrassing moment The time I threw up on a subway platform after a party. I think i accidentally sunflowered a stranger. That was a bad time
35. favourite subject History
36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? Go to sea, see the Northern Lights, drive cross country
37. favourite actor/actress Ryan Reynolds and Anna Kendrick i guess
38. favourite comedian(s) John Mulaney, Tom Segura
39. favourite sport(s) Baseball
40. favourite memory oh man too many to list. All of them involve travel. My friend's house upstate, Maine with some pals last year or my first time in Missouri
41. relationship status rhymes with pringle
42. favourite book(s) the entire Aubreyad
43. favourite song ever Oceans by the Format
44. age you get mistaken for i look my age so folks usually get it right
45. how you found out about your idol n/a
46. what my last text message says "Unless you specifically tell me to fuck off I'm not easy to repel"
47. turn ons short hair, sharp mind, being able to kill me
48. turn offs: drug use, non-monogamy
49. where i want to be right now I'll never turn down a boat ride
50. favourite picture of your idol n/a
51. starsign gemini
52. something i’m talented at knifemaking i guess
53. 5 things that make me happy Bodies of water, traveling, good company, Irish music, weapons
54. something thats worrying me at the moment starting my career
55. tumblr friends @lieutenant-dan-ice-cream @spaced-n-confused @safety-is-paramount @black-cap plus several others I couldn't think of off the top of my head
56. favourite food(s) potatoes, pasta, cheese, steak
57. favourite animal(s) Koala, sperm whale, literally any dog
58. description of my best friend Crazy but loyal
59 why i joined tumblr a gal I liked in high school was on here
60. ask me anything you want. Ask me something, Juice
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