#and the rain scene / bus stop scene parallels????? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghoul-slime · 9 months

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Tandem

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,205

Pairing: Aether/Dew, Swiss/Rain, Aether/Rain, Swiss/Dew, Swiss/Aether, Rain/Dew, Aether/Dew/Swiss/Rain

Tags: Foursome, anal sex, anal fingering, blowjobs, hotel sex, partner swapping, implied polyghouls

Summary: The whole band had all been treated to nice big suite rooms as a reward for the past week spent sleeping on a cramped tour bus. Now, taking in the sight of Dew with his tongue down Rain’s throat, Aether and Swiss have no doubt that it had all been worth it.

Aether/Dew/Swiss/Rain hotel foursome continuation of Parallel, but this can be read as a standalone.

or read on Tumblr here:

Aether cautiously opens the door to the hotel room with Swiss in tow. They’d been banished downstairs to the lobby bar for the last hour so Rain and Dew could get ready for the evening in peace.They’re immediately greeted by the image of two naked ghouls sitting pretty on the edge of one of the two big beds in the room. The whole band had all been treated to nice big suite rooms as a reward for the past week spent sleeping on a cramped tour bus. Now, taking in the sight of Dew with his tongue down Rain’s throat, Aether has no doubt that it had all been worth it.

Rain has his hands threaded through Dew’s long blond hair while Dew paws at his chest as they kiss, and Aether is certain that they’d been sitting on the bed patiently waiting for the sound of the key card at the door before they started putting on this little show. Even from where he stands he can tell they’re fresh out of the bath, hair still damp, shining and silky, skin soft and glowing and clinging to a slight blush leftover from the steam of the water. Aether salivates, feeling himself chub up in his pants at the scene before him. He can’t wait to work with Swiss to fuck them both up, get them good and filthy again. Wreck that bed they’re sitting on so bad all four of them will have to sleep in the spare.

Beside him Swiss lets out a knowing chuckle, undoubtedly thinking something similar. He throws an arm around Aether’s shoulder and drags him in close.

“Would you look at that, Aeth?” Swiss grins, striding them both up to where Rain and Dew are perched on the bed. “Couple of little angels, so pretty and putting on a nice little show for us. All dolled up and smelling so sweet and clean. All for us?”

Swiss slides his hand up the back of Aether’s neck and into his hair, twisting him around and kissing him on the mouth, licking past his fangs and grinning sharp against his lips. He leans in to growl into Aether’s ear, a message just for him, “What do you say we make them cry tonight, hm?”

When Swiss lets go he turns back to see Rain and Dew looking up at them with hooded eyes and blushing faces. Rain inhales deeply and lets his eyes flutter closed. Dew looks at Aether and sticks out his tongue.

Aether steps in to kiss Dew but Rain stops him with a hand to his chest. “Not yet,” he says, looking up with big, blue eyes. “We wanna suck you first…” he trails off. “Please?”

Dew shoots a grin at Swiss and Aether can see the game they’re playing. Despite the sweet appearances, he knows that Rain and Dew are in charge here. He feels himself throb in his pants as he imagines the two of them touching each other earlier in the shower, lazily tugging each other off and planning exactly how they wanted to get fucked by Swiss and Aether tonight.

Swiss reaches out, trailing his thumb across Rain’s pouty bottom lip. “Anything you want, baby,” he answers sweetly. “Anything you want.”

And with that Dew and Rain both drop to their knees, shoulder to shoulder, tugging Aether and Swiss in by the belt loops. Dew reaches up to pop the button of Aether’s jeans and distantly Aether can hear Rain doing the same for Swiss. Dew pulls Aether’s jeans and boxers down together. “Off,” he fusses, swatting at his feet until Aether is stepping out of them and kicking them to the side.

Dew wastes no time in grabbing Aether’s hard cock and licking a long, wet stripe up the length of him from root to tip. His hand flies to Dew’s head as he takes Aether in his mouth and begins to bob, hollowing his cheeks and sucking, looking up through long lashes as he swallows him down. Aether groans and looks away, only to be greeted with the sight of Rain tonguing at the slit of Swiss’ dick, jacking his shaft and cupping his balls with his other hand.

If this is how the night is looking to go Aether isn’t sure how long he’s gonna last, feeling a tight coil of pleasure already building up in his gut as Dew deepthroats him, exaggerating wet gagging sounds as Aether’s cock hits the back of his throat. Just the way he knows Aether likes.

Aether tightens his grip in Dew’s hair, encouraging him to slow down. He glances over again to see Rain suckling at the tip of Swiss’ cock, Swiss’ head thrown back, his shirt and pants now discarded. Rain laves at the head, running his tongue around the ridge and eliciting a tight groan from Swiss. At this rate Aether wonders if this was Rain and Dew’s plan all along. To suck them off wet and messy and perfect, get them to bust right away, that way they can spend the rest of the night playing with each other instead.

Aether looks down at Dew who manages to grin up at him despite his mouthful of cock, as if he can read Aether’s thoughts. Aether pulls him off, letting go with the most obscene wet pop he can manage, a thin trail of spit connecting the tip of Aether’s dick to Dew’s shiny, pink lips.

“Oh no you don’t, you little shits,” Aether chuckles breathlessly, reaching out to ease Rain off of Swiss’ length. Rain gives Aether an innocent look before turning to drag Dew in for a sloppy kiss, their spit-slick lips sliding over each other wet and messy. Still putting on a show.

Swiss grins down proudly, chest heaving, one hand squeezing the base of his dick to bring himself back down. He turns to Aether and cocks an eyebrow. “Wow,” he says simply, with a breathless laugh.

Rain and Dew part, Dew reaching in for one more lick to Rain’s lips before settling back on the bed. “Do you want us from behind first?” Rain asks sweetly, helping to ease Dew down to his hands and knees before arranging himself similarly, glancing at Swiss over his shoulder as he spreads his knees out on the bed and arches his back.

“Holy fuck,” Swiss whispers. They’ve both been prepped already, tight pink holes worked open and ready, glistening shiny and wet with slick and lube. Aether wishes he and Swiss had been allowed to stick around to watch them finger each other. They’ll have to ask them to do it again someday.

Swiss makes the first move, stepping forward to run his hands up Rain’s parted thighs, cupping his cheeks and pulling them open to expose that wet little hole even more. Aether watches as he runs two fingers though the slick of Rain’s ass before bending down to plant a kiss right on one cheek. Rain hums in appreciation and reaches out to thread his fingers with Dew’s on the bed next to him.

“Aeth, please,” Dew turns to look at Aether, demanding his attention, arching his back and whining dramatically. He reaches behind to slip one finger into himself, sinking in and drawing it back out slowly, shining and wet. Aether grunts and steps in, grabbing his cock and running it through the mess of Dew’s ass. Dragging down his cleft and across the velvet soft skin of his balls.

“C’mon Aeth, fuck me. Let’s show them how good you give it to me,” Dew goads, wiggling his hips. Aether lines up and sinks in with one fluid movement, turning to see Swiss jack himself twice before pushing his cock into Rain’s waiting body. Aether watches them for a beat, appreciating the long line of Rain’s arched back, lean muscle straining across his shoulders, round little ass cheeks bouncing with each thrust of Swiss’ hips. Aether can hear the wet slide of Swiss’ thick cock pushing in and out of Rain’s tight body.

Dew whines again, “Harder, Aeth. Harder. Fuck me harder,” he pleads. Competitive little shit, Aether thinks to himself as he takes Dew’s skinny little hips and pounds in harder, bouncing Dew’s skinny thighs off of his as he fucks him deep. Together they have the bedframe rattling, and distantly Aether thinks they’re not gonna make it through the night without at least one noise complaint.

Aether picks up a frantic pace, spurred on by the sweet little whimpers and cries Swiss is pulling from Rain next to him. He drags Dew’s hips back, spearing him fully on his cock, pushing in hard and fast, sharp thrusts hitting deep. After a few moments Dew cries out, squeezing Rain’s hand twice. It’s a signal, Aether realizes, as Rain turns to look at Swiss over his shoulder again.

“Swiss…ah,” he squeaks as a particularly hard thrust heaves him forward, wavy hair bouncing with the force of it. “We… we wanna ride you now.” The way Dew has been letting Rain speak for the both of them has Aether’s cock throbbing inside him.

Swiss pulls out and Aether follows suit, admiring the way Dew’s pink hole winks and gapes in time with his heaving chest. “Yeah, baby,” Swiss laughs, breathless, “Want you to ride me now. Bounce that round little ass on my cock for Aether and Dew to see.”

Dew leans in to whisper something in Rain’s ear and Rain nods back, smiling up at Swiss and Aether sweetly, a blush across his pretty features, wavy black curls sticking to his sweat-damp forehead.

“Dew thinks we should switch places,” Rain muses, looking back and running his fingers through his hair. “Right Dew?”

Dew sits up, folding his legs and nodding, biting his lip and doing his best to give Aether a demure look. They’ve rehearsed this perfectly, Aether thinks helplessly.

Rain and Dew reach forward together, tugging Swiss and Aether onto the bed, pushing and pulling until they’re arranged side by side against the headboard. Dew leans in to kiss Aether deeply, licking past his lips as Aether threads his fingers into Dew’s hair. When he pulls back, Dew looks at him with bright eyes. “Show Swiss how good you can ride, baby,” Aether mutters against his lips between kisses, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, “Make him go fucking crazy for you.”

“Yeah,” Dew agrees breathlessly, “Gonna take Swiss so deep. Watch you fuck Rainy with your big fat cock while I bounce on his dick.”

And then Rain is tugging Dew away, crawling over to straddle Aether while Dew arranges himself on top of Swiss’ thighs. Rain runs his hands up Aether’s broad chest, resting his hands on his shoulders and leaning in for a sweet, soft kiss. Aether cups his cheek, kissing him and whispering a soft “Hi” against his lips.

“Hi,” Rain repeats back quietly, smiling and looking up at him through the fringe of his hair, reaching back to grasp Aether’s cock and line himself up. “Gonna take you now,” he says softly, rising up on his knees before slowly sinking back down. Rain throws his head back, mouth falling open as he sits down fully on Aether’s cock. Aether groans, salivating at Rain’s exposed neck, prominent Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows, adjusting himself to the stretch of Aether inside him.

Aether rests his hands on Rain’s hips and leans back to watch Swiss and Dew share a deep kiss of their own. Swiss reaches to grasp himself, but Dew swats his hands away. “Let me do it,” he says, stern. “Keep your hands here,” he instructs, placing both of Swiss’ large hands on his skinny little hips, a mirror image of Aether’s hands on Rain.

“Yeah,” Swiss nods, biting his lip. “Show me what you can do, Spitfire,” he croons as Dew reaches back to spread himself open with both hands, sinking down on Swiss’ straining, leaking cock. Dew looks to Rain once he’s fully seated, breathing heavily and blushing from head to chest.

Rain nods at him and they start riding together. Rain braces himself on Aether’s shoulders as he rolls his hips, sliding up and down the length of Aether’s cock slow and rhythmic and purposeful, grinding down each time he bottoms out, slick and lube running down Aether’s shaft and smearing between Rain’s thighs.

Beside them Dew bounces in Swiss’ lap with rapid, short strokes, hands free and using just the power of his thighs and the spring of the bed. His hard little cock bobs as he rides, beads of pre rolling down his length as he hooks his feet around Swiss’ thighs for leverage, closes his eyes and bounces. Swiss groans at the sight of Dew’s tight belly muscles straining, silver rings threaded through his pert, pink nipples bouncing in time with his hips. With a groan he wrenches his eyes away from Dew to watch Rain work himself on Aether’s dick.

Aether has his eyes clenched tightly, the sight of Rain’s lean, elegant body swallowing him up rocketing him towards an orgasm he’s not ready for. Swiss’ voice breaks him from his concentration. “Look at him, Aeth,” Swiss drawls. “Lucifer, he looks so beautiful stuck on your cock. Takes you so good doesn’t he?”

Swiss doesn’t wait for an answer before he directs his attention to Rain. “How’s he feel, baby? Do you feel good? He filling you up just how you like it?”

“Yeah,” Rain answers breathlessly, grinding down hard on Aether’s dick, “Swiss, I can feel him so deep,” He rolls his hips, “Feel him in my belly he’s so deep.”

“How about you, Spitfire?” Swiss squeezes Dew’s hips, “How’s Rainy look taking your big boy’s fat dick?”

Dew gasps, watching Rain work himself up and down Aether’s cock. He clenches around Swiss in response, picking up his pace and bouncing faster, feeling Swiss’ cock kick inside him.

“Fuck,” Swiss whispers. “Aeth, fuck. Your little Dewdrop’s so fucking tight. So fucking good on my cock.” He reaches out, pries one of Aether’s hands from their vice grip on Rain's hips and guides it to where he’s connected to Dew. “Feel him?”

Aether moans deep and long at the feeling, fingers sliding through the slick mess of Swiss’ cock and Dew’s wet hole as he works himself up and down Swiss’ shaft. He spreads his fingers, feeling how Dew stretches each time he sinks down. Aether feels like he’s being assaulted on all sides. Swiss’ filthy narration and the wet stretch of Dew’s body at the tips of his fingers coupled with the slick sounds of Rain working himself open on Aether’s cock are too much for him.

He shouts, shuddering, and Rain is grabbing his face with both hands and pressing their foreheads together. “Not yet,” he commands, insistent, slowing the roll of his own hips as Aether gasps for air. “Look at me, Aether,” Rain asks, gentle now, Aether opens his eyes, gazes into Rain’s, “Tell me when you’re close, yeah?”

“I’m close, Rain. I’m fucking close,” Aether strains out through gritted teeth. Aether gasps again as he’s suddenly free from the hot, wet clutch of Rain’s body, head tipping back to thump loudly against the headboard as he sucks in lungfuls of air. He turns in time to see Dew nip at Swiss’ lips one last time as he stops bouncing and pulls himself off of Swiss’ cock.

Rain and Dew share a kiss again before rearranging themselves on their backs at the foot of the bed, Dew laid out in front of Aether and Rain in front of Swiss. “C’mere and finish us off,” Dew grins, spreading his thighs and reaching out for Aether. Rain hooks his leg over Dew’s, sitting up on his elbows and beckoning for Swiss to come closer.

Aether crawls over to Dew, settling himself between his legs and running his hands up his parted thighs. He takes himself in his hand and pushes into Dew’s waiting body. He hears Rain whine as Swiss does the same. Aether’s still dangerously close to finishing, so he wastes no time picking up a brutal pace, slamming into Dew with short, sharp thrusts that rock his tiny body into the sheets with each push of his hips. Dew cries out and Rain whines, rocked by similarly powerful thrusts from Swiss. For the first time that night Aether feels in control, and he glances at Swiss who is already grinning back at him.

Aether tenses as he sees Rain and Dew reaching out to paw at each other, hands running wildly all over each other’s faces and bodies. They come together to share a sloppy kiss, all wet lips and tongues as they fight to maintain the kiss despite getting fucked straight into the mattress.

“Gonna cum, Rainy,” Dew gasps into Rain’s mouth. “Gonna cum,” And then Rain is reaching over to jack Dew off in time with Aether’s erratic thrusts. Dew gasps, choking on his own breath as he shoots all over his belly, clamping down tight and setting Aether’s own orgasm off. Aether groans as he cums long and hard, filling Dew up with the release he’d been fighting so hard to hold back.

“Fuck, fuck,” Swiss curses, watching Rain slide his fingers through the mess on Dew’s belly, coating his fingers with glistening white and then reaching back to jack himself off with his wet hand. Rain closes his eyes and spreads his legs wider, arching his back off the bed as he jerks himself, whispering “yesyesyes, oh yes,” before he’s cumming too, shooting all over his own heaving chest. Swiss curses again, bends down to brace himself on his hands before fucking, two, three more times into Rain’s spasming body and cumming with a long groan.

Swiss leans in to bury his face in the crook of Rain’s neck, inhaling deeply as Aether lowers himself down to hold Dew’s face in his hands and kiss him, pushing sweat damp hair off of his forehead. Dew laughs, high pitched and breathless and joyful, reaching up to wrap his arms around Aether’s neck.

When they pull away, Swiss reaches for Aether, bringing him in with a hand on the back of his head. They kiss, Swiss’ hands tangling into Aether’s sweat damp hair. Swiss pulls back to smirk at Aether, brilliant white fangs flashing.

“Holy fuck,” Swiss jokes, “Well, that was fucking amazing.”

Aether chuckles, but before he can answer he’s cut off by a sharp whine. They turn to see Rain and Dew staring up at them from where they lay. Dew’s running his fingers through the mess between his legs. Trailing a wet finger up the cleft of his ass to push a gob of Aether’s leaking cum back inside himself. Rain, still propped up on his elbows, idly plays with his own mess cooling on his belly. Spreading his fingers to watch it stretch sticky and shiny between them.

“We’re not done yet, though,” Rain speaks for them both again, a saccharine smile spreading across his pretty face. “You got us real dirty. Think you’re gonna need to give us a bath and help us get nice and clean again.”

#nameless ghouls #ghost band fanfic #aether/dew #swiss/rain #rain/dew #aether/rain #swiss/aether #dewther #aether/dewdrop #aether ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #swiss ghoul #aether/dew/swiss/rain #ghoul-slime fic

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bengiyo · 10 months

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La Pluie Ep 11 Stray Thoughts

Last week, things came to a head as Tai decided to lie to Patts and see Lomfon privately. We had four incredibly painful fight sequences culminating in a breakup. Tien did nothing wrong. Lomfon needed that ass whooping, and Patts should have maybe hit him harder. Tai is in the wrong, and needs to open his mouth. Now, the rain connection has been broken and everyone is alone. I am ready.

I like picking up in the aftermath with Patts as he replays everything in his head. My man has been through it.

Tien is still mad, and rightfully so!

Look at them crushing me with the bus stop parallel. This time with Patts not stopping.

Of course he still loves him, but it's Tai who needs to fix this! Don't listen to them, Patts!

I love Tien. Every film major should be as dramatic as him.

Tai needed to know that he was already caught out.

I'm glad these two brothers are still here for each other.

Why are Tai and Lomfon meeting???

Okay, I don't like this, but I think it's good writing. Patts is a good dude and will make the emotional compromise to try to reconcile, but the show knows that Tai is the one who needs to fix this. I think Tai needed to settle things with Lomfon for Tien's sake, and I like Patts getting hurt again so he has another reason to avoid Tai.

This man is crying at work. I love Patts so much and I need him to end okay. Now he's quitting his job?

Pee is so fucking good. I love actors that are willing to ugly cry.

Tai is at this wedding to mean mug his parents.

Tien is picking on Chan as the only brother younger than him.

The groom is describing a very normal romance with their mom. He is not the enemy.

I like Nu. He knows that Yad and Marun need to tell Tai what he needs to hear.

Okay, that was a very long scene, but I am glad that Tai was faced with the quiet, sad reality that his parents, who in many ways don't conform to gender norms, couldn't work it out. He needed to know that their dad is the one who wanted the divorce. I'm okay with the dad just being gay-coded. It would complicate the other narratives if we had to confront more complex forms of internalized homophobia. I am holding onto the line, "I can't change myself."

Glad Tai is going after Patts next week.

That was a solid episode. I'm glad Tai has been a total ass for multiple weeks in a row, because now he's got to face that reality. I'm glad that we cleared the way for everyone else. Lomfon can now face Tien without any Tai angst hanging over them, and now Tai gets to chase after Patts without the rain connection to help them.

#la pluie #la pluie meta #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

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quodekash · 6 months

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oh! yeah that's right there's the rest of the episode. whoops i fully just kept rewatching the guynawa scene, i completely forgot that im only halfway through the episode

GUYNAWA KISSED BY THE WAY, JUST REMINDING EVERYONE IN CASE ANYONE FORGOT

AWWWWWWWW

THEYRE ALL SO ADORABLE

THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHERRRR

THEYVE KISSED BTW

DID ANYONE FORGET??

THEY KISSED

THEY KISSED FIVE TIMES

FHSDHDHSBFAHDSBFHDSBFH

lmao they rly had to squeeze that in there one last time

LMAO THEIR EXPRESSIONS IN THE BACKGROUND I LOVE THEM

le gasp

shock horror

no one had any idea at all

who could have possibly seen this coming

i think most of their classmates knew

they had to know, right?

they were not very quiet about it lmao

kang being like "why is my boyfriend so sweet" and kissing him on the cheek several times while there's people very close nearby

i feel like everyone had to know

LMAO

EVERYONE EXCEPT SAIFAH, OF COURSE

IM SORRY I CANT STOP LAUGHING

HIS EXPRESSION IS LIKE SOMEONE JUST DIED UNEXPECTEDLY IN A MOVIE OR SOMETHING

i genuinely have no clue how he didn't know, maybe he should go to an optometrist, he might need glasses

HIS SMILEEEE

HES SO HAPPY TO HAVE FINALLY SAID IT AND ANNOUNCED IT

ASHDFAHSDFHADSFHA

GI3ERGSTIUG43BE THATS SUCH A FUNNY REACTION

ONLY IN BL

"sailom and i are dating" and everyone clapped

bro why you just standing there alone in the rain

OKAY, HE'S GONNA SAY IT ONCE MORE:

"I. LIKE. YOU." ITS AS SIMPLE AS THAT MY GUY

but also all of kang's fears and worried are very valid right now and i totally get it and i love him and support him BUT HES SO STUPID but also valid BUT STUPID

FINALLY

jeez man, it took WAY too long for that to be revealed to him

yessss

yeeeessssssss

yes, because wind is important to the windmill, we've been over this a thousand times

YESSSS GUYNAWA ARE BACK, I WAS SO WORRIED THAT BECAUSE IT'S THE FINAL EPISODE, WE WOULDNT GET ANY MORE OF THEM FOR THE REST OF THE EPISODE BUT ITS OKAY ITS FINE YAYYYYYY

THEYRE SO FUNNY

THEYRE SO SILLY I LOVE THEM

wait but how did they find that

did they just come up with that without realising it's been said by kangsailom, or did they somehow find out iconic kangsailom lines?

nooooo so guynawa aren't going to the same uni?

I LOVE THEM SO SO MUCH

GVOREGNKJRVD THEYRE BOYFRIENDS

WAIT WHERE ARE THEY GOING

ARE THEY ALL GOING ON A TRIP TOGETHER???

SCHOOLIESSSSS

i fully forgot schoolies was a thing lmao

is it called schoolies everywhere or is that only an australia thing?

anybody, pls answer here: what country do you live in, and what do you call the trip that people go on for like a week with their friends a few weeks/months after they graduate high school, where they usually go camping and get drunk? or do you not have that?

AND THEYRE GOING TO KORAT?? YESSSSS

guynawa better see a shooting star

and theyd better kiss under the night sky

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I LOVE THEM

also: guynawa in the background, it looks like nawa's looking out the window. in other words: SOUNDWIN PARALLELS, WIN KNOWS SOUND LIKES LOOKING AT THE VIEW SO HE SAVED HIM A WINDOW SEAT ON THE BUS which sound didnt take because he's awkward and gay BUT STILL

side note: who the hell drove the msp gang on the bus ride to the beach? we literally see all eight of them sit in the back, we dont see anyone go to the front seat to drive. we also dont even know if any of them have their license, other than win but he's only got his bike license

anyway

ohhh he's trying to find a comfortable position to sleep

MAYBE SLEEP ON YOUR BOYFRIEND'S SHOULDER THEN, DIDYA THINK OF THAT??

holy shit its 2:30 in the morning

#quodekash disregards sleep because of dangerous romance #dangerous romance #dangerous romance series #dangerous romance the series #kangsailom #kanghansailom #guynawa #nawaguy #pimfahnapdao #napdaopimfah

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roughentumble · 5 months

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i wonder what mos would be like if you removed pa kent being Fucking Weird. get the "youre an alien" reveal cut, the "let kids die in a bus" scene cut, the "pa dies in the stupidest way possible while supes watches" cut(also cut out the krypton flashback fakestart). it isnt hard to make the connection that the grave he's looking at is his dad's, even without the flashback imo. i woder if you could also crimp out some of the military scenes during the finale and have it still make sense? unfortunately they somehow made that both nonsensical and forced in AND woven in tightly enough there isnt a lot to be done about it in the editing booth but i do wonder. if you spun it so they only shot once and the rest of the destruction was zod's people now that we know the military's attacks dont work, it could.... MAYBE fele less weird than them raining attacks that dont hurt the kryptonians and instead just reduce human beings to red mist lol?

maybe then you could even leave in pa kent's death and draw some parallel between having immense power and yet being powerless to stop a tragedy before your eyes, but again idk if you can achieve that in the editing booth without reshoots or whatever. and pa kent's death is as i said stupid so idk if you'd want to leave it in

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cheri-translates · 4 years

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[CN] Shaw’s Encounter Date

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date (and Season 2) which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

It’s important to know what’s going on in Season 2 so you wouldn’t get confused in this date. Do read this post if you don’t! :)

Parallel World Dates Collection: Gavin // Kiro // Victor

Check out @skyholders‘ translation of Lucien’s date here!

Making use of the university vacation, I return to Loveland City to begin practicing producing programs with the company.

Once I'm done with my afternoon work, I smile and lean towards Anna’s desk.

MC: We did quite a lot today. Thank you Anna.

Anna: I didn’t actually teach you much. You’re quick-witted, and you move fast.

In front of her desk, Anna looks at the time and smiles at me.

Anna: There’s nothing much left for today. Go back early, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Standing under the office building, I look towards the continuous crowd on the road and let out a long sigh.

During this season, Loveland City is the same as always, filled with water vapour and lush greenery. This normal afternoon is similar to the peacefulness and comfort in my memory.

Everything I've been through before, along with time’s unstoppable passage, causes familiar and foreign faces to continuously overlap.

Clearing my head, I stand at the bus stop. A bus happens to stop, and it displays three numbers: 330.

My heart suddenly skips a beat. I act without thinking, stepping forward like a puppet.

“Ding.”

When I regain my senses, I’m already on the bus that’s travelling in a completely opposite direction from my home.

MC: ...

I can’t help but release a sigh, mocking myself silently in my heart.

There aren’t many passengers on the bus. I sit at the same seat as before - the one against the window.

Outside the bus windows, pedestrians weave around busily. The noon sunlight falls onto the glass, making one feel warm.

However, I can’t help but recall that scene--

The early morning. Empty streets. Everyone feeling anxious in response to the danger...

And that unreasonable person who arrives and leaves whenever he wants to.

It seems like a world away, but it was real.

An inexplicable bitterness arises in my heart, and I rub my eyes.

MC: Where... could you be now?

While I’m mumbling to myself, the bus happens to stop at a familiar crossing. I lift my head subconsciously, staring closely at the entrance, as though anticipating something.

Even after the doors shut, no one boards the bus.

I smile in self-mockery, returning my gaze to the window.

MC: It makes sense. It didn’t happen at this time originally... since he said he wouldn’t be late again, I’ll trust him for once.

With the roar of the engine, the bus continues on the road.

Suddenly, along with the sound of wheels violently scraping the ground, the bus stops.

Losing my balance, I hit the chair in front of me with a dull thud.

MC: Ouch...

Bus driver: Do you want to die! You dare to block a bus!

The driver’s cursing brings me back to my senses. Even though I know I shouldn’t harbour such expectations, I can’t help but lift my head--

Carrying a long black bag, the lavender-haired man walks over.

[Note: Some CN players pointed out that Shaw shouldn’t be carrying a long black bag i.e. guitar bag. He should be carrying a skateboard.]

Under his scattered bangs, his lazy eyes meet mine.

He still has that casual and arrogant look, and doesn’t seem to care about the episode he just caused.

The light casts a faint halo on his messy hair, making every step he takes towards me appear unhurried.

In the next second, he sits down in the seat next to me.

I feel a little confused, as though someone has pressed a “freeze” button on me. I’m so shocked that I can’t move. I can only stare at him.

He puts down his skateboard, placing it upright in between us. He crosses his legs and takes out a black mp4 from his pocket--

Only now does my blood continue to flow. I sense a wave of inexplicable happiness within me, and I blink my slightly swollen eyes slowly.

Noticing my gaze, he turns his head over, eyebrows arched high. One corner of his lips crooks up into a smile.

Shaw: You want to listen?

MC: N-no.

I wave my hands subconsciously. Only after saying this do I realise the familiarity of this conversation.

In the quiet bus, that familiar tune of <<Holiday>> flows from his earpieces, though it isn’t very clear.

The familiar scene is like a replay. My heart feels as though it’s been tapped by something, and it’s difficult to remain calm.

Feeling slightly confused by this coincidental meeting with Shaw, I can’t help but turn and give him a glance, unsure of what to say.

MC: You...

Shaw: You want to ask about this?

Shaw casually sways the black cube in his hand with a half-smile.

Shaw: It’s a music player.

Different from typical music players, it has two extra dials at the bottom. The metal panel looks very shiny and smooth, as though it hasn’t been used for long.

Even though there are many things I want to say to him, I think about the “warning”--

“Your unintentional actions may lead to irretrievable consequences.”

I bite my lip and decide to quell my ideas. I continue.

MC: ...I see.

For some inexplicable reason, a patter of rain suddenly descends on this originally sunny afternoon. Before I can think about it, the bus makes a sudden sharp turn-

MC: Oof!

After getting hit, I cover my forehead with one hand. By the time I steady myself, Shaw’s eyes have already turned into impatient arcs, and he says directly to the driver:

Shaw: Oi, drive slowly!

Bus driver: This is a public...

With disdain in his eyes, Shaw stores away his earlier nonchalance, and says coldly.

Shaw: Drive slowly, do you hear me?

Intimidated by Shaw, the driver quickly nods. Shaw runs his fingers through his hair, and regains his earlier expression in an instant.

The ends of his narrow eyes are slightly raised, and he shoots me a playful look. He curls the corners of his mouth and his smile deepens.

Shaw: You bumped my skateboard.

This brat - he’s still the same as before!

MC: I’m sorry, I’ll apologise to it then.

She recalls the last time she saw him on the roof (Ch 37 of the main storyline, before Season 2) and his casual farewell

She decides that while Shaw has re-entered her life on his own terms, she wouldn’t let him leave casually again

It starts pouring heavily, and the bus driver asks everyone to get off

Shaw refuses to do so

Shaw: You want us to get off just because you say so? Who are you to say this?

MC tells the driver that since they aren’t in a rush, they can wait for the rain to become lighter before continuing the journey

She’s also secretly happy to extend this moment with Shaw

Soon, apart from the driver, only Shaw and I are left on the bus.

I cast sweeping glances at Shaw several times. I clear my throat, about to greet him formally--

Shaw: Oi...

I’m caught off guard when he suddenly turns towards me, his eyes teasing and amused.

Shaw: You’ve looked at me so many times... tell me, what do you want?

Tremendously loud thunder resounds in the sky. Heavy rain splatters against the glass windows, leaving behind smears like those in an oil painting.

I’m caught off guard by his sudden remark.

MC: You really don’t plan to leave the bus?

Shaw: Is there a problem?

MC: It looks like the rain will continue for a long time. Simply waiting seems boring. Why don’t we have a chat?

Shaw doesn’t respond immediately. He narrows his eyes and looks at me, his eyes revealing a meaningful expression.

Realising something, I immediately straighten up and my mind starts whirring.

MC: Actually, I’m an intern producer. I recently participated in a program related to Loveland University. You should be a University student too, right? Are you interested in being interviewed?

Shaw: Not interested.

MC: ...

Even though he rejected me outright, I had already expected it. Taking a deep breath, I try again.

MC: This interview is not a typical interview. It’s even more interesting than you can imagine. It isn’t boring at all. Also, I guarantee there wouldn’t be more than five questions! How about that - are you willing to cooperate?

I widen my eyes, looking at him expectantly.

Shaw tilts his head to the side. After looking me up and down for a few seconds, he closes his eyes and leans back against the seats comfortably.

Shaw: [sighs] Fine, ask away.

I feel refreshed with his agreement, and immediately retrieve a pen and paper from my bag, putting on a serious expression.

MC: May I know what your name is...?

He pouts. After two seconds, he lazily responds.

Shaw: Shaw.

MC: Are you a student from Loveland University?

Shaw releases a lazy “mm” from his nose.

MC: Archaeology?

Once the question leaves my lips, Shaw arches his eyebrows, looking at me playfully.

Shaw: How did you know?

MC: ...based on your temperament and appearance.

Shaw: Oh. Unfortunately, you got it wrong. I just got my research qualifications, so it doesn’t count.

MC: ...

I continue wearing an unfazed expression on my face, but am secretly shocked.

This person is pretty amazing.

MC: ...since you say this, you must really like antiques then?

Shaw: They’re all right.

MC: As a contemporary university student, you definitely have other hobbies apart from your own studies, right? For instance... something band-related?

Shaw widens his eyes and looks at me once he hears my words. Afraid he’d see through me, I squeeze out a professional, business-like smile.

The corners of his lips slowly curl into a teasing smile. Just when I think he’s about to respond, he suddenly snatches away my paper and pen.

MC: Ah!

Shaw: Your handwriting is really ugly.

He sweeps over my notes, then closes the book.

Shaw: Didn’t you say it wouldn’t be boring? Your interview doesn’t seem to match what you guaranteed.

MC: This is just the beginning. I haven’t reached the interesting questions yet!

Shaw: Stop taking notes. Let’s just chat casually. Also, what’s your name?

MC: ...MC.

Shaw: Which production company are you interning at?

MC: I’m the one interviewing you. Why are you the one asking me questions now?

Shaw: You’ve asked more than enough. It’s only fair if it’s reciprocal.

In the midst of conversing with Shaw, we seem to get to know each other again seriously.

The rain has become lighter, and the bus finally reaches the final stop slowly.

Once we leave the bus, he suddenly stuffs a transparent umbrella into my hand, then turns around to leave.

The water kicked up by his black sneakers splash onto his ripped jeans.

Shaw: You’re welcome.

Shaw lifts an arm and waves it. His lazy voice drifts towards me, entering my ears.

Watching his retreating form, I grip the umbrella tightly and bite my lips.

The trajectory of destiny is always deviating, yet seems to meet sometimes. Since meeting him again was destined to happen--

I no longer hesitate, and run in the direction where Shaw left. The water under my feet splashes, but the only thing I’m afraid of is not being able to run fast enough.

Finally, I see him at the intersection in front--

MC: Shaw! Wait for me!!

Shaw doesn’t seem to hear me, and he turns right into a small path. I hurriedly chase after him and enter the corner--

MC: Oof!

I crash into a sturdy yet warm chest.

Shaw is leaning sideways against the corner of the wall, one hand gently holding onto me, and the other stuffed in his pocket. He has a calm and relaxed expression.

Shaw: What is it? You like my skateboard that much?

I immediately straighten up, and realise that I’ve knocked into his skateboard again.

MC: ...

Shaw: Why did you call out to me? Just to make things clear - the interview is already over. No matter how many questions you ask, I won’t answer.

His familiar expression makes me want to tell him many, many things. Even after opening and closing my mouth a few times, I have no idea where to start. It seems as though no matter what I say, it wouldn’t be appropriate.

After some hesitation, I finally lift up the umbrella in my hand.

MC: I... I’m here to return the umbrella!

As though responding to me, rain starts to patter down around us, and onto Shaw’s hair. It looks like a soft halo.

Slightly surprised, I look towards the inexplicable light rain. I happen to see the imperceptible smile at the corner of Shaw’s mouth.

He seems... to be in a good mood?

MC: Since it’s raining again, here, I’m returning the umbrella!

Shaw stares at me fixedly for two seconds, his smile widening. Finally, he settles on a playful smile.

Shaw: ...quite interesting.

Unable to hear him clearly, I ask “what?”. He doesn’t repeat himself, but takes the umbrella from me.

“Pa.”

The transparent umbrella suddenly opens above me. Rain drops patter continuously on the transparent umbrella.

The pitter patter of rain enters my ears.

MC: Do you feel the rain getting heavier?

Shaw: Want to avoid the rain?

MC: Ah?

Shaw: Let’s go. That place doesn’t look too bad.

He brings her to the Street Art Exhibition House

She starts talking about including this location into her program

Shaw catches her in her lie: Wasn’t her program about university students? Why is she suddenly talking about exhibitions?

MC gives an excuse on how she’s able to multi-task

Shaw: It’s best to be focused during your internship. It’s not good to be distracted.

MC: ...sounds like you have working experience?

Shaw: I don’t. Who says I need to have experience to offer advice?

Shaw: Oi, do you know me?

MC: ...!

My heart leaps, and I instantly deny it in a loud voice.

MC: How is that possible!

Shaw: Really?

MC: Of course!

Shaw: So why did you chase after me?

MC: Didn’t I say it was to return your umbrella...

Shaw: Ohhh...

He deliberately elongates his words, a doubtful expression flashing across his eyes.

MC: If you don’t believe me...

Before I finish speaking, Shaw suddenly steps on the nearby stairs, turning around to face me.

Shaw: I even thought you were here to look for this!

He whips out a key which has a rabbit doll attached to it. He waves it in his hand gently.

MC: Isn’t this...

I hastily lower my head to dig through my bag, then realise my keys are missing.

I reach out, wanting to take the key from him. Before I can say “thanks”, Shaw has already clasped the key in his palm.

Shaw: I picked this up on the bus. It belongs to me now.

MC: ...where does such odd logic come from!

Shaw: You want it? That’s not impossible. What have you prepared in exchange?

Hearing Shaw’s tone, I release a resigned sigh. After offering him a series of items in exchange, he still isn’t satisfied, and wrinkles his eyebrows.

MC: You don’t like this, and you’re not satisfied with that. Why don’t you suggest the item?

Shaw: Oi, give me your phone.

MC: What do you want?

Shaw: Why do you have so many questions?

After saying this, he points at my phone, slightly impatient.

Confused, I hand my phone over to him, and watch as his fingers rapidly tap a series of numbers. In the next second, his own phone ringtone sounds clearly.

Shaw: Done. You owe me. We’ll talk about this next time.

As he says this, he throws the keys to me with a flick of his wrist.

Seeing that he’s about to leave the exhibition house, I lower my head and look at the key in my hands. I ask:

MC: Why did you pick up this key just now?

Shaw pauses in his steps. Then, his lips curl upwards.

Shaw: Who knows... the look of you running over was even more interesting than I thought.

Standing in place, I think about his words while in a trance. Already at the door, Shaw suddenly turns around again.

Shaw: Also, regarding the last question you asked in the interview... come watch my band perform in Live House when you’re free. That’s all.

With these words, Shaw turns and leaves.

A fine curtain of rain interweaves with the doorway he vanished into, just like a flowing background.

And our interweaving... has just begun.

🌸 MOMENTS 🌸

Shaw: The keychain is even bigger than the key. What a bother.

MC: What kind of keychain wouldn’t be considered bothersome then?

Shaw: Why should I tell you?

Shaw: The keychain is even bigger than the key. What a bother.

MC: To thank you for picking up my keys, why don’t I treat you to a meall?

Shaw: It depends on what you plan to treat me with.

Shaw: The keychain is even bigger than the key. What a bother.

MC: You don’t find it cute?

Shaw: No.

Phone Call: here

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc shaw

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uaklauslovesdave · 4 years

Note

Hi, thank you for sending me asks, I really appreciate it! :D Could you do 002 for klave, I always want to hear your thoughts about them <3

my buddy, my dude, it’s been roughly 17 years since you sent this ask, and i’m oh so sorry for taking this long to answer. it got to be one of those situations where i wanted to do it Properly, which of course brought the anxiety, which of course then brought the avoidance. But we’re here now! it’s a new era and i have a whole bunch of klave thoughts to dump on my unsuspecting followers. let us begin.

when i started shipping it:

Pretty much immediately! I remember first watching s1 and getting that slow confirmation that Klaus time traveled to the Vietnam War. We saw him on the bus with his fatigues and bloody hands and I was like ‘oh god oh no he went to Vietnam didn’t he.’ And then later we have Klaus experiencing flashbacks in the bathtub and there are echoes of the noises of war but also a strong and clear “Dave!” And in that moment my interest was piqued. Dave, he said? Who is this Dave? Is this someone he loved? Did he have a war-time romance with another soldier? And I was hopeful but I also didn’t want to get too ahead of myself because of Queer Baiting in Media reasons (like, I was in the marvel fandom, ok? I went through the whole stucky dance routine). But then, but then! We got more. We got roughly five minutes (or less?) of scenes of Klaus dropping down in front of a disoriented soldier, of this soldier introducing himself as Dave on a bus, of Klaus and Dave dancing in a bar, of Klaus and Dave sharing a kiss in a quiet corner, of Dave bleeding out and dying in the middle of combat as Klaus sobs above him. And it was quick and it was short but it was meaningful and it was tender and immediately I knew that I was gone for them. There was no turning back at this point. I was all in on the Klave Train.

my thoughts:

My thoughts? Where do I even start? I have many! Some are incoherent! Some are devastating! Some are sickeningly sweet! Some are raunchy! Stay tuned to find out!

what makes me happy about them/what makes me sad about them:

So I decided to combine these two questions because, well, I Do Not Know how to untie the happy and the sad when it comes to klave. I tried and I cannot do it. They’re two sides of the same coin with these two. Because their entire relationship is tinted by tragedy, you know? They only met each other because Klaus was tortured and then flung into a notoriously traumatizing war in the 1960s. And who knows what number tour Dave was on. Had he been there for just 2 months or was this second or third time around? I’m not sure which option is more painful, really. And it’s unclear, did Dave genuinely want to serve in the military? Did he truly subscribe to those values instilled by his family? I’d lean towards no, based on the conversation Klaus tries to have with the Younger Dave in the diner. But I think it took Dave some time to get there, as he grew older and came to better understand and accept himself and perhaps grew more and more disillusioned with the life he was pushed into. And then there’s Klaus, whose own experiences somewhat parallel Dave’s (they just happened on a different timeline). Klaus, who grew up under Reginald’s reign of terror, who was taught to be a soldier just like Dave was. But his own disillusionment was expedited and he was able to rebel and remove himself from that scene more easily than Dave could (but at the expense of losing shelter and security and stability). And we have some insights into what it was like for Klaus to grow up in that environment, constantly surrounded by death. When we first meet him he is a person who clearly does not do genuine attachment or sincerity, because that is far too vulnerable and far too dangerous in his experience. He looks out for himself and he does what he needs to do to get by, and he approaches things from a casual, crass (safe) distance. And then there’s Dave, who we learn a little bit about from his interactions with Klaus in 1963 Dallas. He appears earnest and kind, just a Really Good Kid. He seems somewhat confused by Klaus, but also intrigued. Pretty much every time we see Klaus interact with someone in the 1960’s who is not a member of Destiny’s Children they approach him with disdain (referring to him as “pretty boy,” kicking him out of the diner, etc.). But not Dave. Not until he is pressured into it by Uncle Homophobe. And after that Dave seeks him out and apologizes, says that’s not him. And he and Klaus talk, and we see that they really knew each other, they really had a relationship, but by the end of the conversation Dave has been pushed too far. He’s not quite ready to rebel yet, he’s not quite able to make that leap into living as his true self. Just like Klaus, Dave grew up trapped and restricted and surrounded by ghosts. Not literal ones, no, but the ghosts of dead war heroes who came before him, the ghosts of the Ideal Man and Good Son that he thought he had to be, that he thought he had to prove he could become. And it’s not quite clear how and when Dave finally got to that point where he could rebel, where he could finally push past the fear, knock down the walls of the box he had been shoved into. But by the time he and Klaus crossed paths in 1968 Vietnam he was ready. And Klaus was ready. And they brought that genuine, true, real love out in each other. Something both of them probably thought was never possible. Something both of them probably thought was just a myth. Just turning themselves inside out and sharing that with each other. Trusting the other to take care of it and hold and keep it safe. All in the middle of a deadly war. It’s beautiful and it’s painful and it’s why I love them.

things done in fanfic that annoy me:

Nothing really specific comes to mind. Generally if there’s something I don’t like in a fanfic I’ll stop reading and move on. There is, of course, the Fanon Klaus Problem that makes its way into klave fics, so I suppose that annoys me. Or stories where Dave is one-dimensional and seems to exist just to comfort and take care of Klaus. But really, I don’t wanna hate on anyone who writes fanfic in a particular way. You do you. If it appeals to me I’ll read it and if it doesn’t I’ll just pass it by. No big deal.

things i look for in fanfic:

It absolutely depends on the day and what I’m in the mood for in that particular moment. I’m a sucker for angst so I absolutely do not mind reading something terribly sad and tragic. I like hurt/comfort with an emphasis on the hurt. I’m a fan of the GhostDave Watches Over Klaus Through the Years genre. I like stories that explore their time together in Vietnam. I’m into AU’s that include AliveDave traveling back to 2019 with Klaus and they hang out in Klaus’ room in the academy and Dave meets the siblings and Diego gives him a shovel talk. Sometimes I just want that sweet, sweet smut. Mostly I look for something that is both lovely and sad, which is not hard to find because that is, essentially, their relationship. There’s lots of good stuff out there. All y’all writers are talented. I salute you.

my kinks:

Alright, I’m just gonna preface this by saying that I will try my best to be unapologetically open about this, but at my core I am both shy and repressed. My easy and safe answer to this is that my kink for klave is love, happiness, and tender intimacy. That’s what I really want for them. But also. But also! Let them be smutty! Let them find places to sneak away and fuck, Dave’s hand over Klaus’ mouth to stop him from making noise that will alert the other soldiers to their activities. Or maybe they’re sitting under a tarp in the pouring rain and Klaus sees how far he can take it, and Dave doesn’t back down, and it ends up with Klaus blowing Dave while some other guys are sitting just feet away, oblivious to what’s going on between Katz and Hargreeves just over there. And then there’s that time they get to take leave together, and they’re able to get a hotel room, just to themselves, with real walls and a door that locks and a bed and everything. And the digs aren’t great but it feels like a palace compared to what they’re used to, and they absolutely do not waste this opportunity. Dave fucks Klaus into the mattress, and Klaus gets to learn what it’s like to have someone take control because you actually want them to and you feel safe with them, and Dave gets to learn what it’s like to have someone trust you implicitly and be willing to be vulnerable with you. And it’s not perfect, of course, sometimes their histories and understandings of sex and intimacy bump heads, but they love each other, they really do, and they work through it. And they both cry during sex at some point. For Dave it’s the first time he’s done so, for Klaus it’s not (but this is nothing like those other times this is because he wants to be here this is because he’s overwhelmed with love this is a release this is being seen this is being cared for).

who i’d be comfortable with them ending up with if not each other:

Let me be real and say that I really, really, really want them to end up with each other, and I think that this is where the show is headed. But, if that is not the case, as long as they are happy I will be happy. Perhaps that is cliche, but oh well. Just let them experience love and support, whether that’s with each other, someone else, or just on their own.

my happily ever after for them:

I don’t know how and I don’t know when (like seriously, when in the timeline is a big question), but I want them to find a way to be together. Maybe it involves some time-traveling, maybe it involves some timeline-hopping, maybe it involves some Commission interference, maybe one or both of them will be dead, maybe (most likely) it involves something that has not even crossed my mind as a possibility. But, like I said, I think that somehow there WILL be a (perhaps nontraditional) happily ever after for them. It might take some time to get there and I don’t think it’s gonna be a smooth road, but I do think that’s the ultimate destination. And I’m looking forward to the whole process.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Good question! My first instinct was Klaus as little spoon. Because he is Klaus but also because of the Bar Kiss scene where Dave tenderly cradles his face and those Very Important blurry behind the scenes instagram photos of Klaus resting his head on Dave. But I also think it would be really nice for Dave to be the little spoon? Because Klaus gets to hold him and act as a Protector and maybe he can feel Dave’s heartbeat beneath his (hello) hand and he gets to wrap around him and hold on tight and he can let go when he wants to but he doesn’t want to, he wants to stay right here as long as Dave will have him. And Dave will have Klaus wrapped around him, holding on, as long as Klaus wants to stay. Dave gets to be held and cocooned in the arms of this beautiful person he loves. Dave doesn’t have to be strong right now, he doesn’t have to put on the face of the Good Soldier. All he has to do is fall into the space between them.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

I’m gonna say that they had a lot of time to sit together and talk while they were in Vietnam. Sure, they had their duties and sometimes they were in the shit but there was also a lot of down time, just sitting around and waiting for something to happen. And so they’d sit and they’d smoke and they would talk. About their interests, about where they come from, and eventually about the life they would build together after they got out of there. But here’s a specific image that I have: they’re sitting close together, maybe it’s dark, there’s no one nearby. Cigarette smoke lingers in the air, mingles with the fine mist. The conversation has turned to music, somehow. Conversations have a tendency to meander when Klaus is involved, and Dave follows him step for step, never tripping, never questioning how they got there. And Klaus asks Dave about his favorite song, and Dave hesitantly mentions “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence,” like he’s embarrassed, but he’s loved it for years and he wants to be honest with Klaus. And Klaus hums and says he doesn’t know it, hasn’t heard of it, and he leans against Dave, lays his head against his chest. And Dave says, that’s ok, it doesn’t matter, it’s just a stupid old song anway. But Klaus says, no, you should sing it for me, I want to hear it, I want to know it. And Dave scoffs and laughs, but Klaus looks up at him, and then Dave looks away, and his mouth lifts into a smile, something small and fragile. He turns back to Klaus, looks him the eye, and softly, so softly, starts singing, “When Liberty Valence rode to town, the womenfolk would hide…” And Klaus drops his head and shifts closer to Dave and hears the words slip from Dave’s mouth and feels the words vibrate in Dave’s chest. He closes his eyes. There’s a war going on. It’s 1968 and he’s in Vietnam and his clothes are damp but he’s right where he wants to be. The song is not romantic, but it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. He never forgets the words.

#these are my klave rambles! they are long and i am sorry! i could not contain myself! i think you got insight into the Incoherent Thoughts!#alright i’ll stop yelling now #thank you again for the ask and sorry again for taking so long #the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #dave katz #klave #an ask and an answer #softforklave

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scandalousfemale · 4 years

Text

Ch. 3 Thriller

Chinese!OC x Kelce

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Zombies were meant for apocalyptic movies and TV shows where one could binge watch for a day and return to their mundane life. But something happened, a lab test went wrong and suddenly the outbreak started. This story takes place exactly three weeks after zombies slowly started to take over the planet.

Series Master list

WC: 4,536

Warnings: Remember last chapter when Kaili said people were a little more evil than zombies? And remember how I kept mentioning that you are responsible for the media that you consume? Well, this is the chapter where it is applied. Less zombies and more evil men, violence, death, blood, weapons, guns, knives, stabbing, shooting, cussing, killing of people who are not zombies, a guy licks Kaili’s neck without her consent and is gross about it, mentions of wanting to vomit, I think that’s all the important warnings.

A/N: The SUPPORT I get on this fic blows my mind. I know that zombie fics are an acquired taste and not a lot of people like it, I get it. But those who do, wow. Thank you for allowing me to do this and giving me motivation to keep doing it. You all are incredible.

Kaili woke with a start when she heard a row of banging on the side of the bus. Her forehead slamming against the ceiling before she could process the noise she was hearing. The windows rattled and so did the plates in the cabinets. With her heart pounding out of her chest, she grabbed the machete lodged in between the wall and the mattress before letting her feet hit the cold floor.

As fast as she was on the ground, she was off of it again. JJ had turned to push her out of his way and onto the sofa, ordering her to stay seated, as if she was a pet who’d listen to his orders. Over her dead body, and maybe even then.

“Who the fuck?” Topper narrowed his eyes as he peeked out the window, “there are about six guys out there,” another bag came crashing against the bus. All Kaili could hear was the sound of the men laughing and Wheezie sobbing in the back. Kaili, against JJ’s wishes, got up to look out the window as well, seeing the guys from the gun trade.

“Kelce,” she called to get his attention but she didn’t need to because he was already watching her as he clicked the magazine into his gun, “it’s the guys from earlier.”

“What did you do, Kelce?” Kiara hissed, pulling a shotgun from underneath the sink that Kaili didn’t even know was there.

“Come on out, pretty girl!” The greasy man yelled.

“If we don’t meet them outside, the windows are going to break and then we’ll have a bigger problem,” Kaili informed.

“A bigger problem than what? Dying?” John B limped his way into the common area of the bus, a hand over his wound and the other draped across Sarah’s shoulders.

“Come out or we’ll shoot our way in!”

And she did. Kaili slipped around Rafe who was standing by the door and pushed her way out, the machete in her hand and the knives still attached to her belt and thigh holster that she never really takes off.

“See, I told you she was beautiful,” the man chuckled to his friends and Kaili could’ve sworn that they looked a little bit intoxicated.

Kaili scanned the scene in front of her. The only thing illuminating their faces was the moonlight. The ground was wet from the rain that had poured upon them a couple of hours ago, which didn’t help with how cold that made the weather. The green-eyed boy wasn’t amongst the men that stood before her, one looking more disgusting than the rest. The smirk on their faces when she appeared made her wonder what promises the greasy guy had made to them for them all to agree to come with him.

Kaili widened her stance, preparing for a fight as she held the blade in front of her. It was difficult, being a mixture of scared shitless and annoyed that she had to even go through this. She heard a couple of clicks behind her and she knew that at least she wasn’t alone in this fight. A gun came parallel to her and she could see it was Kiara pointing the shotgun at one of the guys.

“What do you want?”

“Well, you see, I’m still really sore at that boy,” he pointed behind her and Kaili didn’t need to turn around to know it was Kelce he was pointing at. “And honestly, he hurt my feelings,” the man snickered at his own words.

“Doubt that,” Kiara muttered next to her and Kaili felt the strong need to protect the girl. Even though she knew that her shotgun has way more power than Kaili’s own hands have.

“As much as he hurt your face?” JJ called out, the humor in his voice deadly.

“Semantics,” the man’s voice suddenly turned just as threatening and though Kaili wasn’t exactly sure he was using the word correctly, she wasn’t truly in the mood to sit and argue over the English language.

“I want you, darlin’, I’ve always wanted a little doll to play with, and let’s face it, you kind of owe me after what th-,” his words were cut short when JJ interrupted him again.

The man’s eyes wild as he bellowed, “stop interrupting me!” For the whole campground to hear but no matter the ruckus the men have already made, she noticed that no one else wanted to get involved. They didn’t even peek out the window to see what was going on. Cowards.

Kaili was still so angry at the situation that she didn’t register the greasy man pointing a handgun right between JJ’s eyes and pulling the trigger. It took him a couple of clicks before she found herself lunging toward the man and that broke out to an actual fight. She didn’t know who was fighting who or if anyone was seriously injured. She just knew that if the man was smart enough to release the safety of the gun, JJ’s blood would be splattered all over her now.

She couldn’t lie though, the man knew how to fight. With every step forward and every time her blade swung at him, he’d dodge it. Taking a step back, finally grabbing her wrist so hard she was sure he could break it if he wanted to. He spun her around. One of her hands pressed at her back that was now flushed against his front and another hand with the blade too close to her neck for her comfort.

“Stop it!” The man ordered, next to her ear. Every wriggle that she made caused him to painfully twist the blade in her wrist closer to her skin but she refused to close her eyes and give in to the man. She told herself that her shaking hands were from the cold and the pain, it wasn’t from the fear that bubbled up inside of her. The weakness that she suddenly felt by not knowing how to properly fight. All she remembered thinking was that she’d rather die than be taken by this man. She looked at the company she kept, Kiara has blood splattered all over her shirt, no doubt she used the butt of her shotgun to snap some noses, and JJ’s face in the moonlight was scarier than any horror movie she’s ever seen. He spat out blood but it still decorated his teeth as he pulled his lips up into a snarl.

“Let her go,” the voice came from Kelce. She couldn’t see him which meant he was either beside them or behind them but he was close enough for her to feel his proximity.

“Put the gun down or I’ll slit her throat right here,” the man said next to her ear, pressing the knife against her skin now, causing her to whimper. Kelce stepped from behind the man directly in front of Kaili. His eyes did a quick scan of her body and noting if anything was off about her and finally meeting her eyes. He did not take his eyes off of hers even as the man behind her started to speak.

“I’m only taking what I’m owed and that’s it. But you children have to make it so hard on yourselves. Don’t you know there’s a pandemic to worry about? A zombie virus? This way, there’s one less mouth to feed. And damn it if it isn’t a gorgeous mouth,” he more so whispered the last line as she the man leave a wet trail on her neck as the man ran his tongue across her skin. If she wasn’t so frozen from the action, she’d have vomited right there.

It was as if the man knew Kelce’s next actions, calculated it with his friends because when Kelce did not hesitate to lunge at the man, his friends were already grabbing onto arms to keep him where he was. Away from her.

“I’ll cut your fucking tongue out, you disgusting piece of—“ he got cut off by a blow to his stomach as the greasy man’s friends laughed but kept him upright and Kaili got why they were so keen to keep him right in front of her. Because no one else could see what the greasy man was doing to her with the way that he was angled and also Kelce’s friends didn’t have a clear shot so they couldn’t attack. Or so they thought.

Kaili heard the bang before she saw a body drop right beside her and she took the man’s shock as an opportunity to pull away from his grasp and kick him hard on his chest, causing him to topple over. She saw more bodies drop but she didn’t pay attention to them. She couldn’t. All she could think about was the man who had held her and touched her without her consent. He tried inching back on his elbows as he unintelligently tried to come up with an excuse about how he was just joking or how he didn’t know how to say hi but she couldn’t process his words. Something in her wasn’t clicking, all she felt was pure rage.

Kaili moved so fast that no one even realized she threw a knife until it landed just below the man’s testicles, “I’m letting you know, I do not miss, ever. You try to come at me like that again and I’ll fucking castrate you,” she said the blubbering man with every intention to leave him alive but then she thought to the kids in this camp. The other girls he’d come across that he wanted and without another breath, she brought her larger blade down onto his stomach, pushing the end of the handle so that it would puncture in deeper. She must’ve blacked out from the rage because the next thing she knew, she was being hauled onto a moving bus as bullets were flying by her.

She tried to ground herself by counting the people on the bus with her. Making sure that everyone was still there. Everyone was still alive. Everyone was still alive. Everyone was still alive. Was everyone still alive?

“Can you look at me?” Kiara asked her as she squats in front of the motionless girl. She had what looked like a wet cloth in her hands, as she angled her head toward the sink, being careful not to touch Kaili so suddenly but even when the girl had seen it coming, she still flinched. As she was getting the blood washed off of her palms she gathered that Topper had shot the first guy in the leg while Rafe had already started driving the ‘getaway car’. She also learned that no one had shot to kill, exactly, and that’s why they started shooting at the bus for retaliation. Which also means that she was the only one with literal blood on her hands tonight.

Kaili didn’t say anything after Kiara finished washing her hands and she stayed mute as Sarah pulled her into the bathroom for her to shower for a second and change her clothes into something less drenched with blood. Sarah has given her an oversized t-shirt and basketball shorts that she rolled up at the waist to keep them there.

“We don’t blame you, you know,” Sarah said, her voice low while they were still in the bathroom. Kaili just stared at her reflection. “He could’ve gone after another girl afterward,” Sarah offered.

“I don’t know that. I took his life away but it wasn’t my decision to make.” Kaili rebutted and Sarah winced at her words.

“Even if you were his exception to the rule, Kaili, I know he wouldn’t have spared you. At least that’s what it looked like from where I was standing.”

Kaili’s face scrunched up in disgust at the memory. The feeling of him on her skin. She rolled her bruised wrists and nodded at the girl’s words. Maybe she was right but it didn’t make her feel any better.

She hated the mood on the bus when she finally left the bathroom. Everyone seemed to be on an adrenaline rush chattering quickly and animated until she appeared around the door and the voices went to softly and then to nothing. John B had insisted that he felt better and if he needed more space then he was more than willing to pull the sofa on each side down to make a big bed so if Kaili wanted, she could take the room in the back and she did. She needed the privacy of the door, at least for tonight. She hadn’t even gotten the door closed all the way yet before sobs began wracking through her body. Not caring if the rest of the bus could hear her now, she sat on the floor with her back against the bed as she pulled her knees up to her chest and allowed herself to feel.

She wished that her mom was here so that she could tell her that people needed to change and adapt to new environments and that’s all that she was doing. But she didn’t want to become savage in the midst of it all. Everything about her felt disgusting, the skin that he licked, the hands that were coated with his blood. She wanted nothing to do with it at all but she couldn’t escape herself, even if she wanted to.

As her sobs turned into whimpers and sniffles, she heard the door slide open. Quickly wiping her tears away with the hem of the shirt, she peeked out from beside the bed to see Kelce closing the door behind him. Spotting her eyes, he walked towards the side of the bed that she was on and outstretched his arm, offering her to take his hand, and she did. She allowed him to pull her up and allowed him to lift her onto the bed. Her body curled beside his as her legs draped across his.

“Remind me to ask you to wash that before you give it back,” Kelce smirked but there was sadness in his eyes.

“This yours?” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand again.

“Don’t worry about it,”

“Promise I won’t make a habit out of stealing your clothes,”

“I don’t mind,” Kelce was quiet for a moment, as she began crying again. She didn’t think she would ever stop tonight, “no one blames you or looks at you differently. You know what right?”

“I look at myself differently...maybe I am different. Maybe this is who I am now. A murderer,”

“I’ll let you in on a secret though, if you hadn’t have killed him, I would have.”

“Right,” Kaili said sarcastically through sniffles as she buried her face into Kelce's chest further, trying to get the image out of her mind.

“I’m not joking.” And for some reason, Kaili believed the boy next to her. As his chest rose and fell, they sat in without a word between them. Until, of course, Kaili broke away from him to wipe her tears with the back of her hand but he had reached out before she could. Gently touching her wet cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. The look on his face unreadable as his fingers lingered, hesitantly pulling them back.

“So what’s your story? Not your zombie story, like who were you? Your family?” Kelce inquired, giving her space and not pulling her back against him.

“My mom was a doctor and my dad was an engineer back in China...of course, that doesn’t mean anything here in America. Their degrees don’t hold here. So, they taught me what they knew, they wanted me to have a good life here and I tried. I tried doing pre-med but it didn’t interest me and then I tried prelaw and I was terrible at it” she chuckled, “I almost failed out of university until I found the abnormal psychology extension for the psych program and I fell in love. Obviously it’s not like it matters now anyway. I never graduated and my parents are well” a lump formed in her throat “I don’t think I can ever unsee what they became. If I had just gotten to them sooner, maybe. I don’t know.”

Kelce shook his head, “it’s not your fault. If you’ve gotten to them sooner then you wouldn’t be here right now.”

Kaili shrugged, “so, what’s your story?”

“Same as the rest of them, I guess. My grandfather helped invent the internet.”

“What?”

“Yeah, then he was able to sell his program off to some big company for billions of dollars.”

“Yeah...that’s a typical story for sure.”

“It is where I’m from,'' he said, an edge in his voice “we’d always one-up each other with stories of who has more money. Who had more property and business ventures lined up when they go to an Ivy League school that’s paid off by our parents? It was all superficial but you can get caught up in it,” he smirked more to himself. “But what’s the point now? My father had status and money and now he’s just...dead.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Kaili said sincerely, and then she looked at Kelce, “and that your dad chose to do what he did.”

“He did what was best for him,” he defended, looking like what Kaili thought to be as offended. Kaili reached out her hand to place them on top of Kelce’s that was on his lap, carefully tucked away from her legs that still was draped across his.

“I don’t mean to offend you, I’m sorry. I just know that if it came down to it, I wouldn’t have left you. I’d fight with you even if we couldn’t win.”

He looked at their hands and then raised an eyebrow at her before she cleared her throat and pulled her hand back.

“Anyone of you. I wouldn’t leave anyone of you.”

And as if a line of intimacy has been crossed, Kelce had just nodded. Kaili didn’t understand it because she was just laying across him so why was touching his hand any different? Why did it feel different?

Kelce pressed his lips into a hard line as he pushed her legs back and got up from the bed, suddenly cold, he said a quick goodnight before exiting through the doors that separated her from the buzzing noises of the rest of the crew.

As if privacy warranted a revolving door, Wheezie slowly opened the door to her temporary room and squeezed in as if she was sneaking in but Kaili would bet that she was sneaking out of the group instead.

“Hey,” Kaili greeted from her spot on the bed that felt way too comfortable after what she’s been sleeping in.

“Oh, hey! Um, I wasn’t sure if you were asleep or awake, Kelce didn’t tell anyone anything but like it’s going to take a thousand years before we get anywhere because Topper convinced Rafe to drive with the headlights off so we don’t ‘attract’ more zombies,” she rambled while using air quotes, “and I haven’t had a chance to like sleep in this bed yet because someone is always in it but you also look like you could use the company, no one really told me what happened out there because they think I’m too young but I’m not too young. I need to know and I—,”

“Come here,” Kaili patted the spot next to her as she cut Wheezie off. In all fairness, the girl was thirteen and though she might be too young to be exposed to the horrors of this new world, she had to know what she was getting herself into. Wheezie didn’t waste a moment as she took off her glasses, kicked off her shoes, and jumped onto the bed. Pulling a pillow to her face she smiled and mumbled about always being the last to get anything. Kaili gave the younger girl a half-smile as she settled into bed herself.

“What happened?” Wheezie asked in the light of the moon, though her eyes were more closed.

Kaili didn’t know how to respond but she knew that she couldn’t lie to the girl. There might be a day where this girl is the sole survivor and she had to know.

“I killed a man today.”

“You mean a zombie?”

“No,” she sighed, “a man. He wanted to hurt me, he did hurt me. His friends hurt my friends and so I killed him.”

“That explains it,” Wheezie only nodded as if the fact didn’t bother her at all.

When Kaili looked at her, waiting for an explanation, Wheezie only sighed as if feeling her eyes on her, “why Kelce’s so grumpy.”

“I’m not following,” Kaili explained

“He likes you, he’s probably angry that you got hurt.”

“He doesn’t know me.”

“Doesn’t mean he can’t like you. Zombies are roaming the streets, lady, I don’t think now’s the right moment to be asking people to take it slow.” Wheezie huffed and of course, she doesn’t understand. Kaili didn’t expect her to, she was barely a teen. All she knew is that it wasn’t the right time for crushes, for feelings that were complicated enough back when things were normal. And with that, Wheezie turned around and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders leaving Kaili to her thoughts all night.

—

In the morning, Kaili had woken up with Wheezie’s arm draped across her face as the girl was still softly snoring next to her. Her wild hair taking up most of the pillow underneath her head and as Kaili tried very slowly to slip off the bed without waking her, she noticed how small and frail this girl looked. How this cruel world had ripped her innocence away from her.

Softly pushing the door open, she was met with the wide, broad shoulders of Rafe. He stood about a foot taller than her, give or take a couple of inches, so it was easy for him to look over her head onto the bed as he visibly relaxed seeing Wheezie in bed. He didn’t move even as she stepped out of the room and closed the door back up.

“How are you?” The look on his face looked pained as he asked the question as if this man didn’t know how to be civil and kind without difficulty.

“As good as I can be, all things considered.”

“How is she?” Rafe referred to Wheezie and now Kaili knew that there had to be a difference in his upbringing than in Kelce because where Kelce excelled in charisma, Rafe lacked completely. His stiff body still boxed her in against the door, he looked at her expectantly.

“She’s good. She just wanted to sleep in the bed, she said no one had allowed her on it yet so I allowed her on it, no alarm.”

“Oh, okay. Well, just so you know we’re not upset about what you did. We’re not kicking you out or anything.”

“Okay...Thank you?”

He exhaled as he twiddled his thumbs, his eyebrows knitting together.

“Everyone else had asked me to stay here and wait until you guys got up. They’re kind of scouting the area, looking for people here or zombies, whichever they run into first. We reached some pretty nice houses and kind of wanted to retire the bus for a couple of days in case the guys went looking for us then they wouldn’t look there. Anyway,” he shrugged, “I heard you crying last night— I guess we all did and I’m not that good at comforting people. Honestly, it makes me uncomfortable but I just wanted you to know that if I had been there to see it and not on the bus, I’d have stopped him before he even got the chance to hurt you.”

Kaili didn’t know what to say but she thinks this was Rafe’s awful stumble-through version of telling her that he cared whether she lived or died.

“It’s okay,” she lied but her smile was genuine for the struggling boy in front of her. She gave him a light tap on the chest congratulating him on making it through that speech but also telling him to move so she can walk past him. In which he apologized for before, if not literally, pushing himself up against the side of the bunks so that she could move through the narrow hallway.

“It’s not okay though. Your wrists are…well, you know,”

“Rafe,” she turned quickly and grabbed the boy’s shoulders, she’d shake him if she could, “Thank you, I appreciate it, truly.”

“I guess I’m just sorry I gave you a hard time or like wrote you off. I don't like changes and I’m adjusting. I’m not saying we’ll be best friends or whatever but I’ll be less of an asshole”

“You know how to do that?”

“Ha ha. You’re so funny,”

“I think that I am.”

“You gotta admit me driving the getaway bus was pretty badass though,” Rafe joked, visibly loosening up around her as she walked over to the front of the bus.

“Meh,” Kaili shrugged, “I give it a four out of ten.”

“A four?!” Rafe’s mouth hung open as if no one has ever criticized him in anything before.

“We still got shot at,” she teased.

The group came back shortly after. They found a house that had six bedrooms. The neighborhood had light and running water which meant they might be able to stay here a little longer if they were able to find some food. They only had enough to last them two days, maybe four if everyone cut their portions in half.

The group started to take the weapons off of the bus first and then the food and all the rest of their belongings, leaving the bus almost bare in case someone were to take it from the house they parked in front of.

Sleeping arraignments were a lot easier and quickly decided that Kaili would’ve thought they’d be. John b stayed with Sarah, which was no surprise to anyone. JJ, Pope, and Kiara had taken the largest bed because they said that if anything were to happen, they’d be more comfortable knowing where the other was. Which was fair, but it did heavily draw a line of where the divide between the groups was. Though Kaili insisted that she didn’t mind sharing the bed with Wheezie and actually preferred it, Rafe made it known that he wanted to be there to protect his little sister in case something happened and the only person he trusted to do that was himself. Kaili tried not to take it as an insult. So, that left Kaili, Kelce, and Topper with their own rooms. To be honest, Kaili loved it. Being able to spread out in her bed without worrying she’d fall off the side or hit a person next to her. She did try not to think about the others who’d slept in the bed before her, though. No, she doesn’t think she’d be able to keep her cool if she did.

Tags: @stfukie @jellyfishbeansontoast @queenk00k @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @rafecameron @outerbankslut @thegreatestofheck @starlightstarkey @stargazingstarkey @anxietyandtacos @spideymyluv @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @pogue-writings @bedazzledbanks @pankowrudeth @bricksatanakinswindow @cutiecolbsss @downbytheouterbanks @butgilinsky @jiaraendgame @deathcompass

#kelce #kelce obx #kelce outer banks #obx kelce #outer banks kelce #outer banks fic #outer banks au #kelce au #zombie au #my writings #liab #kelce x oc

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thebeautifulsoup · 3 years

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Echoes resound!!! Can you tell us more about the concept and how it came to you and how long it took you to plan everything? Also tell us more about Hickman!

Hello friend and thank you for asking!!

Ahhh the concept and planning seems so long ago now, but I will try my best! The concept just appeared to me one day as I sat at work on a long, boring, quiet Saturday. I must have been feeling quite emo bc I think the first bit that came to me was the very beginning with Segundus on the bus watching the rain, and it's one of the very rare occasions I've been so taken with an idea that I had to stop doing any actual work and open up gdocs and just go with it. I have a very strong memory of sitting just bashing out words at the front desk of the library feeling very naughty bc I was writing fanfic at work. At that point it was very much just "modern AU Segundus goes to York for a nice holiday, and may meet a dark mysterious stranger!", but I realised very early on that I didn't want it to be a modern AU, not really, so then the whole reincarnation idea kind of fell into place.

Echoes was the most planning I have ever done for anything, ever, including my own major life events. It took FOREVER, i was planning right up until the last couple of chapters, but the first overarching framework for it more or less stayed in place, it was just the details or particular scenes that changed. (IN FACT, lemme grab my notebook i was using at the time.) I originally had a list of "things wot need to happen" in order (originally totalling 14 chapters, lol (you will be pleased to know that Chapter 8 was originally "dinner + smooches", end of note)), and that just kept expanding and expanding with details of, e.g., where flashbacks would work (I wanted them to start slow and ramp up as they got to know each other), working up to the big reveal; how certain chapters would be structured, what the important emotional beats to hit would be, etc etc. When I was getting towards the end I ended up using the good old "important scenes on post-it notes stuck on the walls" method to figure out exactly where I was putting things.

It was very frantic and very fun and the whole process made me feel a bit like a proper writer for the first time in my life.

and HICKMAN MY BELOVED!!!!

First of all I wanted Starecross to be run by a woman, as the side-lining and silencing of women is such a major theme of the book. She is also mixed race, which looking back I think I could have done better pointing out, but I didn't want to be all "look! look! I'm ticking diversity boxes!", so I definitely could have done better on that front.

I love her. She's been given this massive responsibility at a relatively young age - which she wanted! it's what she'd been working for and aiming for! - but because of her age and her gender she has had to prove herself over and above again and again, which makes her quite intimidating at the first few meetings bc she's used to having to really check people out before relaxing and to put forward quite a no-nonsense persona. On top of that, she has these young lads appear out of nowhere to fulfil the prophecy that's written on the creepy old guy who lives in the attic, and has to deal with all the WTFery of that on top of all the regular parts of her jobs (fun fact, during the planning I drew up a rough 1996-calendar timescale and marked on all the general university holiday dates, so I could try to give her a break and have the main Starecross/prophecy action take place during the hols bc i felt so guilty lumping this all on her). But she is bold and determined and really a massive softie, and I loved giving her that scene with Segundus where he finds the letters and she gets the room to be delicate and empathetic. (I love all her scenes with Segundus, really).

Also, fun fact, although Echoes isn't truly in the same universe as measure of the year, I did kind of write them in parallel (i liked keeping my period voice in with measure), and I kind of hc that Hickman is actually related to Childermass through Ned Sorsby, but not through any traceable lineage. Someone in a comment mentioned that Hickman reminded them of Childermass a little bit, and i just kind of cackled and rubbed my little hands together in glee.

SORRY i have apparently answered your polite enquiry with an entire dissertation <3 THANK YOU FOR ASKING i love this fic

(ask me for a fanfic director's cut!)

#ask meme #tag #pudentilla

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illustration-tips · 3 years

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STUDIO GHIBLI

LET’S TALK ABOUT SOME INFORMATIONS!

Today I want to talk about a Japanese animation legends: studio ghibli.

a world filled with extraordinary characters, uncanny transformations and breathtaking fantasy landscapes,

Where it seems anything can happen.

But, what's truly magical about Ghibli, in their films? is when they're at their most every day!

Two girls are standing at a bus stop and a giant forest troll walks up beside them? My neighbor totoro might be director Hayao Miyazaki's most spellbinding and iconic adventure but what makes this scene so transcendent?

Isn't Totoro himself, it's his enthusiastic response to the rain scenes like this crop up throughout Ghibli’s films moments where fantastical stories are filled with enthralling effects.

The combined hand-drawn skill of Ghibli animators, turn honey tea into a thing of wonder, is the best.

When we watch animation we expect to see things that are out of the ordinary but a unique gift is to infuse the ordinary, with magical qualities.

There is an inspiring attention to detail and a sense of wonder in those details that makes these scenes so transporting mysterious.

For ex: train tracks lead off into the horizon majestic, flying machines fill the sky and so on because in Studio Ghibli's films reality doesn’t always require realism.

For over 35 years Studio Ghibli's films have offered as spectacular visions without parallel, but their greatest most captivating achievement, is that they make us look at the world around us with new eyes

And after this introduction. I have to say to you: welcome to the world of studio ghibli, a world where magic is only ever just around the corner!

THE NAME

The name "Ghibli" was chosen by Miyazaki from the Italian noun gobi, based on the Libyan Arabic name for hot desert wind : the idea being the studio would "blow a new wind through the anime industry".It also refers to an Italian aircraft, the Caproni Ca.309.

HISTORY

Studio Ghibli Inc. (Japanese: 株式会社スタジオジブリ is a Japanese animation film studio in Tokyo.[1] The studio is best known for its animated feature films, and has also produced several short films, television commercials, and one television film.

The studio was founded on June 15, 1985 by directors Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata and producer Toshio Suzuki.

Studio Ghibli has also collaborated with video game studios on the visual development of several video games.

Studio Ghibli's highest grossing films include:

Princess mononoke

Spirited Away

My neighbor Totoro

Howl's Moving Castle

FAV FILM

SPIRITED AWAY

Spirited Away (Japanese: 千と千尋の神隠し, Hepburn: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi) is a 2001 Japanese animated fantasy film written and directed by Hayao Miyazaki and animated by Studio Ghibli.

Spirited Away tells the story of Chihiro Ogino, a 10-year-old girl who, while moving to a new neighbourhood, enters the world of Kami (spirits of Japanese Shinto folklore).[7] After her parents are turned into pigs by the witch Yubaba, Chihiro takes a job working in Yubaba's bathhouse to find a way to free herself and her parents and return to the human world.

Unanimously acclaimed by critics, it is considered one of the best films of the 2000s [3] [4] and in the history of cinema.

FUN FACTS

When bringing their films to foreign markets, the studio has a strict policy against cuts and re-edits. This includes the translations needing to be as close to the original words and ideas as possible.

2. Their impact extends far beyond other animators. Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of Super Mario, The Legend of Zelda, and many other legendary Nintendo properties, has cited the studio's works as an influence.

3. Hayao Miyazaki was born in 1941, while Isao Takahata is a few years older, having been born in 1935. They were both alive to see World War II as children and both of them lived through bombing raids, which were events that had a massive effect on them and their work. This can be more directly seen in Takahata's Grave of the Fireflies, which is about a brother and sister surviving in Japan after losing their mother and home to a bombing raid. It is an incredibly moving film that brings one to tears literally within its first three minutes.

Now, I will end my talk with a quote of this film, which won a ton of awards for its characters, story, design, music, writing, and more. This quote is from a minor character named Zeniba. She is a witch with a ton of wisdom.

"Once You've Met Someone, You Never Really Forget Them." - Spirited Away (2001)

-Stefj

#studioghibli #ghibli #art #presentation #artlife

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gladiolus-afloat · 4 years

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*DISCUSSION OF THE SPOILER*

Here's whats giving me an aneurysm: in regards to the cursed spoiler, in the context of the k*ss not being for feelings, but for Eliott's film project (Polaris?), the cheating accusations DONT go away. From what ive seen of people’s responses (please keep in mind that im addressing what ive seen, not all these points are necessarily ones I agree with), its:

1) Did Lucas agree to it?

a) If he said NO and Eliott is going ahead and doing it anyways, then Eliott is breaking his trust. We’ve already seen Lucas having insecurity issues about Eliott leaving him because of the cheating storyline last season, was that a foreshadowing to what will happen this season? If it is, then Lucas doesn’t deserve it, especially since its suggested that Lucas might have abandonment issues, bc of his dad, when Yann left him, all the times he reacted to Eliott leaving, especially when he cried at the bus stop, etc.

b) If Lucas said YES, then it hurts because why does Eliott have to recreate Polaris with someone other than Lucas? We thought kissing in the rain and the Polaris hand holding moment was something special between him and Lucas. We do have to remind ourselves that Polaris has been Eliott’s passion project since before he even met Lucas, so if given the resources, he obviously would have started working on it at some point. But if thats the case, if Eliott plays the main character himself, why wouldn’t he cast Lucas as the love interest? Why can’t he just direct and cast actors for his film so he doesn’t have to kiss someone else? Maybe he doesn’t think other people will play the role as well as he could since he knows the feelings and emotions that the character should portray. Maybe Lucas is camera shy or is lacking experience as an actor so he has to cast someone else, but for those very same reasons, why cast Lola? Its understandable if Eliott wants to separate his love life from his business?/passions. Eliott and Lucas don’t have to do everything together, but its also understandable for people to be upset that something special to elu might also be the thing that hurts them.

c) It doesn't matter if Lucas approved or not, why can’t he, and everyone else realize that its a kiss for a film, not for feelings and cheating (hopefully or I swear ill-)

2) The issue of having to ask Lucas for permission becomes:

a) Why does he have to ask Lucas in the first place? It’s his film, he’s acting, hes not actually going behind his back. Asking Lucas for permission goes against everything Eliott has said about how he hates being babied and having other people think he can’t think for and take care of himself. There are some people out there who see Eliott as nothing but an extension of Lucas. Yes, I know we all love Eliott and Lucas being boyfriends, and calling each boyfriends and saying that they are boyfriends. I get it. I personally also love Eliott and Lucas being boyfriends. But Eliott is his own person, who has his own ideas, interests, passions, his own life, and yes Lucas is a big part of it, but Lucas shouldn’t be ALL there is to Eliott. If that really is the case, then theres some dependability problems and its an unhealthy relationship.

b) It makes Lucas seem controlling if Eliott has to ask Lucas for permission for his own passion project, and also if Lucas gets mad at Eliott for not listening to him it makes it worse. Lucas has his own insecurities, yes, but he also has to trust his boyfriend. Lucas said the same thing to Emma Season 1 when she thought Yann was cheating on her with Ingrid, “Why are you with him if you don’t trust him.”

This whole spoiler thing is trash. I know im not alone when I wished it was never leaked in the first place. If we were gonna see it eventually, it would have been arguably better with context.

I honestly would like to forget about it until the scene eventually comes, but its like Jim is standing in my brain with a sign that says “__ days since the spoiler has been brought up.” Can we all just chill?

It’s become a blame game on who is in the wrong between Lucas and Eliott, who's the victim and why they should leave the other. But ultimately, theres implications that the theyre in an unhealthy relationship, in terms of trust issues, insecurities and dependency, being too controlling, etc.

Again, im reiterating what ive seen and read from other people, and I dont necessarily agree with everything thats being said above, but I do understand it.

David has said that there will be no cheating involved. I... will believe it. From the bottom of my heart I hope nothing breaks Lucas and Eliott apart. I know this is skam, I know that relationship conflicts are a must, I know that im being too hopeful in thinking that Elu won't get hurt at all this season, but I really do wish that no matter what happens, theyre gonna get through it and come out of it together in the end.

Personally, I understand the people are hurt by the spoiler as much as I understand the people who think its no big deal. However, I will honestly say, that it just rubs me the wrong way that there have been parallels between Elu and Lola/Eliott, but lets not forget that there have been more parallels between elu and Lola/Maya. I love Lola. Lola Protection Squad Unite! I love Elu. And im loving how Lola and Maya’s relationship is progressing. But again, the kissing in the rain parallel, and that god awful promo pic just rubs me the wrong way, but im not gonna lose my mind over it. And I know that people are saying its just the actors, not the characters themselves, but I have a weak heart okay. And if I can be objective and rational about this, so can you guys. : )

#I swear if anything happens to my babies #especially in this last season #you better not mess this up david #everyone better end up with the happiness they deserve #skam france #skam france saison 6 #skam fr s6 #skam #elu #lucas lallemant #eliott demaury #lucas x eliott #eliott x lucas #lola lecomte

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stonerbughead · 3 years

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Maria watches friday night lights (#34)

And we continue with 5x11, the stage is set for quite a playoff episode, and i am HERE FOR IT.

my reactions / recap / flailing under the cut

Omg there are “welcome home Tim” signs up?? Poor Luke is jealous of Becky and Tim talking.

Damn, Tim definitely seems fucked up from prison from just that convo with Becky about the Landing Strip alone. Tortured boy.

Aw, we love to see excited Eric with a bunch of excited East Dillon Lions in the locker room after a winning playoff game!

Anddddd here come the budget cuts to burst the bubble. “Anyone need a donut? Some of you won’t have a job next semester.” Damn worst he’s seen it in 27 years? “Anyway, uh...pray.” Damn.

“Where’s the union in all of this, you know?” damn, they have a union at this Texas school? That’s good, but it seems like a weak one, which i’m not surprised about because, again...Texas.

OOOOH Tami’s getting recruited to a Philly college and they’ll fly her out to interview her?

LOL the dudes are yelling “state, state, state!” jumping up and down in their front yard? “Get out of my front yard, you’re making me look bad!” this is so wholesome.

Oh jesus poor Vince, his dad is trying to bring alcohol home when his mom is a recovering addict? What a selfish fuck! “I just don’t know.” OK BYE.

Ahhh Smash Williams is on the TV, playing football in a professional game while Tim Riggins works at Buddy’s bar...this show is just *chef’s kiss*

Oh he sounds so sad and “meh” as Buddy tries to make small talk about Smash’s success. Oh my poor Tim.

OH Jess noooo you taped another team in the division? The fear and drive in her eyes as she nervously tells a very stressed Eric she wants to be a coach herself...I love that.

REALLY? One of the coaches had to do the laughing and “you’ll never be a football coach.” “What, because I’m a girl?” “I didn’t say that.” “Yeah, you did.”

OMG I’m dying, the subtitles while Luke and Becky make out on the coach say SMOOCHING. Adorable!

“Don’t stop for me.” Wow, growth for Becky that Tim is the one walking in on her relationship now. “Use protection this time.” MUST YOU TIM?

Oh shit, football is “revenue neutral.” Truly wild that Tami, Eric, and Levi are having a convo about the whole program possibly being cut while the team loudly celebrates making it to the quarter finals all around them! The visuals in this show are superb.

The sound of “all the way to state, all the way to state, all the way to state!” in the background as the camera focuses on Tami and Eric, watching over everything with sighs on their faces. They carry so much for this town and this team.

Oh shit it’s Bryn Mawr she wants to interview at? And omg they want to interview on the Friday of the semi-final. It’s all happening!

Oh yes some high-stress practice in the pouring rain while Eric has budget cuts and Tami’s interview on his mind!

Okay i get you’re stressed Eric, but calling Jess a “pest” for showing you an article of a female football coach is not it! Although it is WILD Jess took a physical newspaper clipping out to show Eric in the pouring rain. I love her.

Yes, Billy, you are def on the chopping block with these budget cuts. But LOL at him making fun of that dude who repeats everything everyone else said

Tim is so much quieter and more stoic. It tracks. Billy, are you really surprised he doesn’t want to relive his former glory days rn? (Although i have a lil feeling Tim will show up at this game at the last minute!)

Oh shit they’re on Billy’s front lawn now? This is so cute, the parallel moments of “wait a minute, I hear something” and coming outside to find this team with so much heart!

Oh wow they are getting BOOED at this away game. You know they’re good now!

“You never saw so many people so quiet.” I love Vince and his mom’s relationship so much, my heart.

Oh god is daddy all drunk kissing up on his wife who is SOBER? Sir, what do you not understand about sobriety?

Oop and he’s got “gifts.” What shit is he back into?

Wow, hands on the mom and he’s clearly dropped the drugs he’s flipping. There it is.

Yes to the BBQ people asking if the MOM is alright and kicking the dad’s sorry ass out. That’s how we do it.

I really love the way they’re transitioning through this period of playoffs—the locker room updates to their progress with the radio in the background, the chants after each win — then making way for Eric dropping Tami off at the airport. Semifinals are here.

“The time when I need you the most?” “You really gonna bring this up now, on the way to the airport?” Tami’s right, she’s been nothing but straightforward all along! Tami supports you, Eric, let her have her fucking moment.

“Well, you’re kicking my ass.” “Yes, that’s right. Your ass needs some kicking.” “Who’s going to cook dinner for me?” “Oh, poor baby. Gracie.” LMAOOOO yes Tami! Get him! I’m dying.

Okay, Eric, you are forgiven—he looked up the female football coach to talk to Jess about but got the last name wrong!

“14,000 high school football coaches in the country, and that’s one. One out of 14,000. You like those odds?” “No, I think they kind of stink.” “So do I.” Awwww.

“I’m not asking to play.” YES JESS! I love the growth she’s shown over her two seasons. Now she knows what she wants! And her persistence is paying off—Eric’s gonna let her shadow him?! My heart!

Damn Tim is VERY bothered by Becky working at the family business (The Landing Strip.)

Oh God what i feel like Tim sees in “one of Becky’s regular customers” is someone he has an excuse to let out his aggression on. He’s clearly just so fucked up by his life not being what he wanted it to be—and by even the life of those he loved and left behind on the outside not being what he wants for them.

“She’s 17 years old!!!! A high school junior!” I mean, FAIR. Fair fucking point.

Oh fuck this emotional scene between Tim and Billy in the parking lot...DAMN that was a hard punch in the face Tim just gave Billy.

WOW Tim is gonna hold onto taking the fall for Billy for a long time. Fuck. “For the rest of my life, if that’s how I feel it needs to be.”

Billy looks so fucking sad on his knees in the parking lot.

Regina changed the locks! Yes gurl, do not let that man back into your home!

He’s trying to break down the door...oh honey, no. “You’re blowing it, Pop!” I’m so proud of Regina for standing up for herself and Vince.

The visual of Luke riding up next to Tim’s car, and then driving past Becky and Tim fighting, as they pause to watch him go...ART. Also, why is Tim so resolutely like “I got to go. I got to go.” Intrigued.

“There’s only gonna be one football team in Dillon next year.” “Well, which program are they cutting?” “That’s next week’s fight.” DAMN. So much is happening in one night!

Yep, Eric just summed it up to that reporter: “One of those teams is going to state. And i don’t think you’re gonna eliminate a team that goes to state.” They’re fighting for the very existence of their team AND the state championship in one! This show!

Oh wow Luke does NOT want to hear Becky’s apology. Oh nooo!

Aw Regina and Vince communicating about how she needs to “take a meeting” so she can’t come to the game and him saying that’s more important...again, the growth! My heart!

OH they made up Braemore? Really sounded like Bryn Mawr LOL. Go Tami!!!

(These white dudes do not want to hear a woman saying they should rethink their approach. STOP YELLING AT HER, SHE’S RIGHT.)

Oh Mindy, crying at Tim not to go, about how much Billy cries at night, how much they both love Tim. IM EMOTIONAL

“You’re different, you know that?” “Yeah. I am.” ABOLISH PRISONS.

DAMN this semi final game is a NAILBITER

They did it at the last minute, YES!!! Nothing beats the excitement on the team’s faces as they embrace!

Damn Tim returning to his old trailer? Drinking beers alone and doing very not well as he listens to the radio static. Sigh, poor angsty boy.

Aw the woman who interviewed Tami is so kind. Telling her she did well at dinner.

I literally gasped then went AHHH! when the college dude came to dinner and Tami’s all politely like “thanks for the opportunity!” And the guy’s like, “yeah yeah i have two kids to put to bed, anyway we’re offering you that old asshole’s job.” “Dean of Admissions???” YES QUEEN

Damn Eric and Tami are BOTH killing the game, what a fucking power couple.

Eric has the whiteboard on the bus to accompany this “we’re going to state” chant. Amazing.

“We missed the field house.” “We’re not going to the field house.” OMG all their fans are waiting outside to cheer for them as they return?? How beautiful!

Oh my poor babe Vince, all he wants is to know his mom is safe.

YES he found his mom! My heart dropped when Vince’s face betrayed some fear he couldn’t find her. I’m so glad they can celebrate together, oh my heart.

And then you see Eric looking around for Tami, lost because she’s across the country contemplating a life-changing job offer...WOW. Two episodes left and the deck is truly STACKED. This show is art.

#maria watches friday night lights #mine #friday night lights 5x11

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yannsscarf · 5 years

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A personal selection:

every favorite shot from every episode of Skam France season 3.

episode 1: the moment when lucas made up his mind and took the first step.

to me, its a hard one between the moment when eliott walked in le foyer and that facial expression lucas made. it's like a hit to the head and something was growing inside from that moment. but again to me the story of lucas begins here. he chose his fate, his instinct. he hesitated, swallowed, yet he still walked forward. i just love this moment so much.

episode 2: the moment when lucas becoming the Polaris of eliott.

specifically this shot. lucas looked back and its almost like he was searching for acceptance. its so telling with his careful, longing, slightly doubted face. he cut himself open and presented his heart to his crush, it's so bold of a move but it's so beautiful, heartbreakingly beautiful. and you can see eliott’s eyes, they are lightening up like there’s nothing brighter than lucas.

episode 3: the moment when they challenged each other.

where do I begin? or do I even need to? lucas’ eyes are telling everything. if there’s any moment that they are confirming things between them, this is the moment. lucas is challenging, eliott is challenging, they dare each other to take the first move. the tension, the desire, the nameless butterflies flying around in the air. name one stronger eye contact in tv history I’ll wait.

episode 4: ‘i’ve watched your project.’ ‘guess we have to marry now.’

this particular shot is hands down my fav in this season. just how it resembles the dream of eliott, how it shows that lucas is definitely the polaris to eliott, how brave and beautiful it is for lucas to take a lead and show his pure admiration and love to eliott. at this moment they stopped questioning, they stopped guessing and teasing, they found each other. I might be the weirdest person but to me, locking fingers is waaaaay more poetic, sensual and significant than other physical contacts. and this moment completed me.

episode 5: the ending shot.

how do you say, disappointed, hurt, brokenhearted, numbed and despaired? this ending shot tells you how. I don't know where to begin or how to begin to describe the feeling that I had after this scene. or how much it is enough for me to appreciate the cinematography in here. every time I watch it I'm always amazed by that certain amount of blurriness in the ending shot, as if its seen through the eyes of lucas, blurred out from time to time, losing focus every now and then, crushed by rage, despondency, and hopelessness.

episode 6: utter vulnerability, emotionally raw, and friends become family.

I love how lucas is being the one who comforts people in the beginning and tried so hard to get himself together, yet failed in the end. the whole blue in this shot, tone-wise and emotion-wise, is thoroughly conveyed. somehow in the mood of sadness and sorrow, we felt the warmth. in the moment of taciturnity, sadness was flowing under, and the tears were their way out.

episode 7: a fascinating dance in the rain of oil paint.

I probably rewatched this episode 200 times before i made my decision. what can say besides the fact that this clip is not only a tribute but a poem of its own. the way they swing, how they hold onto each other, the holy intimacy, and colors are everywhere as if we just walked into someone’s dream. the shot is so perfectly done it almost feels sacred to me, and nothing there should be violated. hold your breath, stop whatever you are doing, drop your phone, take a seat, and enjoy one the most beautiful shots in tv history.

episode 8: lucas’ ability to love people.

episode 8 is probably the hardest one. too much has happened and too many need to be remembered. i actually made a final 5 and then ditched them all, come up with this one. funny thing is that no matter how many times i watch this clip, especially this scene, i can't tell if its an improvisation or its actually in the script. but either way, they have given a whole new layer of lucas’ character, his ability to love. he stares at eliott until he has gone from sight, he blows a kiss to him even no one is there to catch. this moment is when i go, this boy is far gone in love, its so silly so pure so heartwarming yet so full of strength. he has the world’s strongest empathy even tho he’s gained less during his childhood. this level of devotion and loyalty made lucas the most loveable, angelic and relatable. (btw the tip of his nose bounces when he blows kisses I’ve watched it for two hours no regret.)

episode 9: remember stopped and lucas whispered, ‘T’es plus tout seul.’

kudos to the editing team because how many of us had goosebumps when remember was put on hold, as if the whole world has stopped and all you can hear is lucas’ mad heartbeat, following the line, ‘you are not alone anymore.’ its so simple, so heartwrenching, yet so powerful. they way lucas put himself in a lower position, forehead against eliott, hands cupping eliott’s face, you don't need to hear it to know how much he loves him. its written on his face.

episode 10: the tears of Juedi 17h32.

lucas has cried many times during this season. too many times to the point some pious, mindless people started to complain about it. I’ve said it before but I gotta say it again, be grateful, be devoted, it really is a privilege for us to sit there and witness them all. his emotions through his tears in this season are priceless. and how amazing the whole crew is because they aren't afraid to show it to the audiences. society tells men that its a shame to cry, and most of them act along. lucas said, fuck it, I’ll cry whenever I feel it. and isn't it just the most beautiful, important thing in the world? to me, episode 10 has blessed us some of the most accurate, sincere, on-point reactions. eliott’s honest monologue about his mental health, lucas’ overprotective status and his strong empathy showed up everywhere in those little details. but nothing hits me harder than this shot. the bus drifted, then the camera started pulling away but remained closeup, lucas’ emotions was poured out, everyone is feeling it through the screen. his tears are shed for sadness from parting, happiness from love and tenderness from eliott. his tears are the proof of living the moment, that lucas is living in the moment and feeling everything. and it has to be in our recognition that no one should be reserved from showing basic human emotions.

I specifically took some of those out and highlighted some frames just to show that I really really love them. it’s not ranked, its nearly impossible to rank them. I already had a hard time choosing between scenes. again it’s only my personal taste and some might not seem to be important at all to others. but they are truly my favourite, cinematography wise, symbolism-wise, just anything.

I can’t even say its a tribute or anything to season 3 because it’s just my simple modification of the original work. I only picked them just so I can show my genuine appreciation to the whole crew. they are the real MVP. they have to know that I for one appreciate every second of the season and every piece of transmedia content. I laughed, I cried, I got upset, I became furious, I smiled, I rolled my eyes, I looked into the void, I sighed, but most importantly, I learned.

lucas lallemant, being the little hero he is, really had me fall hard. i don’t even know how to use my pale, plain, tasteless words to describe how much i love him. i love him knowing that i could never reach his level of bravery, and it doesn’t matter. i have thousands of words for him yet somehow I can’t say anything.

I guess if parallel universe does exist, maybe I’ll meet him, hold his hands, might even say thank you even if it sounds strange as hell. but I do thank him.

thank you lucas, for you being you, for always choose love. Thank you for never quitting, for never stop fighting. Sometimes I take a look at you and I tell myself, somewhere in this universe you exist, and that’s such a bliss. I don’t know what did I do to deserve you, such a gentle soul, such a golden heart. Thank you for just, your whole existence. I take a look back of the teenager me and seeing the things that I’ve missed, people who I’ve been wronged. And there’s you, lucas, there’s you. You did things that i never had the guts to do, you choose the one that I’ve lost a long time ago. And I’m so happy that you did because you deserve all the love.

You are my little hero and always will. It’s been such a short amount of time, if only I knew parting was this hard, I would give up anything just to live through these all over again, just so I can meet you one more time, just so I can see your beautiful goofy smile, hold your hands, and give you the biggest hug in the whole world, and say a proper goodbye instead of being a mess and totally out of breath because of all the tears.

I’m gonna miss you so much.

Goodbye Lucas, I love you so, so much, I really do.

Until next time.

#skamfr #skam france #i've never met a 16 yrs old teenager boy who is braver than you #i made myself cry when wrote those #but all because i love you so much #your life continues and i know its gonna be bumpy #but you can do it #somewhere far away from paris im rooting for you #i always do

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rayj-drash · 4 years

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Berlin Sketches pt 1

by T. Frank

My grandmother cannot fathom entering Germany. She was a child of the Great Depression and lived through the war safely from the Catskill Mountains of New York while her husband fixed radios on home turf. However, Germany represents a taboo in history for my grandparents as Jews. They would no sooner visit the Brandenberg Gate than they would try scuba diving without an oxygen tank.

I constantly reflect on the trusted feeling of Home since I lived in Berlin for six weeks in fall of 2018. Previously, the longest trip I took was a ten-day tour of Israel through the organization Birthright: from the peak of a mountain overlooking three desert countries, to the crowded rush of the Jerusalem shuk, and my aversion to a display of American-Israeli nationalism on a military campus. The scenes and feelings form a whirlwind of hazy memories, much like any experience on new land.

A few days after I arrived back in the Bay Area, I sat in Strawberry Creek Park watching the sun go down and the light blue sky grow faint as night approached, seeking those moments of "awe" that came so suddenly in Berlin. This bright green park reminded me of the open recreational space I loved over there, even though the grass was literally greener on this side of the pond! I distinctly remember the moment when I scarcely had to look up at the street signs and felt like whichever path I took, I would find my way. Nevertheless, five months ago, I had sent in an application for an unusual art residency, an immersion into the study of grief. I reflected on those periods of my life that had led to some of my deepest creations. Drawings of cancer cells and lungs, struggles to breathe and heal in the midst of choking emotion, flowers and vines winding through the dark themes. I yearned to express my observations of the world through whatever moved me, again.

~~~~~

The journey to Berlin was a three-legged trip with two layovers, leaving Friday evening and arriving at 10:00PM on Saturday. A huge, crowded economy flight, cheap and minimal. I tried to rest as the crew turned off all lights on board. No sooner did I close my eyes than it seemed like the sun was creeping over the horizon, and we touched down to a windy, barren tarmac. It was 9:00AM, as all the passengers disembarked in Reykjavik, Iceland, we felt the chill burrowing through our thin layers and shivered.

On the second leg, as the plane glided to the lowlands, I appreciated the bucolic farmland. I was alone in the Copenhagen airport. The crowds in Reykjavik were more diverse, like a burgeoning metropolis. By contrast, everyone arriving in this Danish terminal looked alike: tall, blond, and, permit me, Aryan. They traveled in clusters of family groups, chatting, gesturing, smiling. I dragged my suitcase past designer boutiques to a desolate, unfinished terminal, where passengers awaited their flights without customary notice; but learned to say, Takk, Danish for "Thank you". When I finally reached Germany, I connected to the U-bahn, the underground subway. The ride was over an hour long, and I gazed at the subterranean signage, lost once more. Until I arrived at Rathaus Neukölln, and my new roommate Shimon met me outside in the rain.

The next day, I left the mattress that our hostess Amelia had set up on the floor, staggering about with jet lag. Luckily there's oatmeal, my favorite companion. Shimon and his friend Devorah from Tel Aviv are home. We discuss the neighborhood. ‘What if I get terribly lost, not only physically, but mentally, too?’ I thought. ‘Is this a dream? Why am I so far from anyplace I know?’ Devorah suggested a walk to the canal, with a Sunday flea market. Late afternoon, I ventured outdoors and discovered a slice of paradise.

At the end of the block, a large mosaic mural adorned a staircase which I took to have the impression of a rooftop. A large concrete lot surrounded a beautiful community garden. Raised flower beds were home to a bounty of colorful flowers, tall green vegetables grew under the sunshine and painted poles flanked handmade structures. I spotted a concrete ping-pong table, and mustered up the courage to join two men playing. One of them wore a baseball cap with "Cal" emblazoned in blue and yellow; by chance, he attended law school at UC Berkeley, and lived several blocks away from me! After a few rounds of ping-pong, the Germans drank beer and suggested that I check out a nearby landmark before sunset.

Cheered, I walked along and found an "I Love SF" sweatshirt at a pop-up flea market. More surprises awaited. I heard music, and pushed aside brambles to emerge in Hasenheide Park, where a large circle of guitarists and drummers jammed for casual onlookers. I saw an ornate mosque with blue and gold trim, a wide courtyard, and an outdoor faucet for washing hands or drinking cool, crisp water. Next door was Tempelhof Field. A former airport utilized during World War Two to fly-in supplies from the West, the unused tarmac was reinvented as an open recreational wonderland. I entered the gates and was met with flocks of activity: bicyclists, joggers, even a pair doing synchronized roller-skating. Dry, dull grass covered the fields, but a victory garden shined under the setting sun, and the barista of an on-site cafe recommended finding a good perch.

I joined two boys from Afghanistan, Hasan and Muhamed, watching the sky from tall ladder-seats. Muhamed and I grinned, struggling to hold a conversation between the lack of a common language. Google helped, but broken English got us farther. "Do you know there are still American police in my country?,” he exclaimed. My conscience bristling, I say that most people do not speak of the Afghan-American war anymore. The sun set in deep purple and vivid pink hues. Hasan saw my eyes light up at the sight of his bicycle, and offered me a ride--so, I sat sideways on the frame, clutching his black leather jacket, and answering "Ya" when asked, "Alles Gut?"until I grimaced from discomfort and Hasan laughed--"Kaput!" The two friends saw me off at a bus stop, and I stumbled on board as the passengers stared.

~~~~~

The following Monday, I walked twenty minutes from the apartment to arrive in front of a white-painted gallery, and no one around. Feeling nervous that the entire program was a hoax (just like my parents thought when they read the acceptance letter from the dubious-sounding organization), I noticed a middle-aged man at a computer in the corner. I knocked on the window, and he let me inside. Here was a room devoid of decoration, save for a long rectangular table and six chairs, three of which were filled by women. Soon, another man entered the room and offered tea, introducing himself as our "mentor". We never referred to him by any name other than his own, even when I suggested “Alek”. He's over six feet tall, shaved head, and wore all black from his long-sleeved turtleneck to his sturdy dress shoes.

The participants introduced themselves. Sarah researched environmental grief, such as the devastation left behind from man-made disasters. Gwen studied grief theories in graduate school. Jasmine hoped to connect to refugees of war. And Sara--no error, there are two--prepared to make an installation honoring a departed friend. Linda would join us the following afternoon and plunge into an exploration of feeling othered through found objects. After we went over studio policies, we shared a bit on why we study grief, bringing several girls to tears. It felt like a group therapy session--and it wouldn't be the last.

~~~~~

Dear Talya, Gone to synagogue. It's a short walk from the canal. I forget the street name-'Pflug'-something. Come join me for Yom Kippur services. Love, Devorah. Without consulting a map, I asked for directions from three different shopkeepers to find the synagogue. Luckily, they understood English and didn’t express unsavory reactions to my Jewish-ness. Once I found the path parallel to the Canal, the temple came into view: a large building curving around a tranquil block, with stained glass windows and a grand façade. Security officers were stationed outside, and I was screened before entering. "Are you Jewish?" they ask.. "Yes." Unmoved, they question, "Do you pray?"

In August, I went to Washington, DC for my cousin’s wedding. Her family and friends are modern orthodox, or, religious. The day before the wedding, we were in shul for Shabbat services. During the long morning prayers, I read the English version of the Torah portion. The text alluded to the treatment of rape by virtue of marriage or the punishment of execution. By coincidence, this was the same chapter I studied for my Bat Mitzvah twelve years ago, but I must have been too young to grasp such explicit content. I left the room and spent the rest of services out in the hallway, tending to the potted plants as a distraction.

Did I pray? Not willfully on that day in the synagogue. Internally, yes, throughout my life: the inner dialogue between my spirit and the spirit of a G-d. But in practice, only with family over Shabbat blessings. So I answered, "No. But my Israeli friend is in there, can I go in?"

Yom Kippur services were surprisingly welcoming in Germany. Although the congregation was divided amongst the men and women, the dress code was more relaxed (jeans, white t-shirts), and several of the men held babies on their shoulders as the rabbi sang in Hebrew. I found Devorah and stood beside her. I recognized the somber prayer, "Avinu Malkeinu", and it felt no different than my family's congregation. The prayer books here were German on one side, and Hebrew on the other.

After the ceremony, we passed by plenty of people enjoying the balmy weather at dusk. Devorah was reminded of holidays in her country, riding her bike freely while everyone took time off to relax. Shimon met us to break the fast with noodle phơ. I was lucky to connect with "my people", thousands of miles away from home. As a child, I remember feeling like my relatives’ religious differences divided us. However, my cultural upbringing is something I've retained and appreciate. Joining Israelis in Germany for Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, was akin to sharing a secret amongst friends.

~~~~~

As the weeks went by, I developed a habit of visiting the community garden, mornings before heading to the studio and nights on my way home. One weekend, I felt antsy as I read a book called The Truth Will Set You Free by Alice Miller. There was a campfire at the garden as they observed summer changing to chilly Autumn. I surveyed the party scene before resting into a corner of a homemade wooden bench under the dim glow from industrial lights around the lot. Although the setting was not condusive to reading, I was shy to join the group. But, when I repositioned myself next to the fire, it was apparent that these young, hip, multinational guests preferred to speak in English. Rosa asked what I’m doing in Berlin. When I told her I’m studying grief, her voice got excited and she invited her friends into the conversation.

Annika was vivacious and full of life. I noticed her wisps of fuzzy blonde hair, bright in the glow of the fire. She was working on a memoir, and was also the subject of a photoshoot documenting her journey with cancer. As she spoke, I folded a paper crane and gave it to her, provoking a sense of delight. My idea for the residency then was to make a handmade book for participants to share their experiences of grief, and to make origami together. Annika agreed to be interviewed the following week.

~~~~~

I took the S-bahn, the above-ground trolley, several miles northwest where the buildings are close to the city center. Annika told her story: how, at age 26, she discovered the cancer in her breast and rushed into several months of intensive treatment including antibody therapy, anti-hormone medicine, and chemotherapy. She ultimately received a double mastectomy and chose breast implants. For a month after surgery, Annika couldn't lift her arms over her head. It was painful, but her energy was focused on how to function normally again. Now, she was in recovery, undergoing radiation and daily physical therapy. She wholeheartedly embraced her body, and I felt a mixture of awe and love for her resilience and positive attitude.

I encouraged Annika to leave her mark in a communal scrapbook of stories. She drew a breast in pastel colors with words circling the nipple, such as "soft"-, "round"-, "hope"-, and "loss".- After I left the apartment, I boarded the train and closed my eyes. In the dark, I envisioned a bare, cream-colored orb, shiny and wet, like a peeled lychee fruit. Perhaps, I reasoned, this represented Annika's true self.

Back in the studio, I was at a loss to contribute during our group discussion. I almost broke down, overcome with emotions that arose from the interview. So I took a break from the sterile white walls, and sat under the chestnut tree in the courtyard. I picked up a spiny shell, cracked it open to reveal a creamy-brown belly. I wrote a meditation on the seed of the tree. I reflected on impermanence, on patience, on Annika taking her time to heal yet reveling in every healthy moment. I like taking my time.

"Hey Aleksander," I remarked in the midst of studio time, "Since the interview with Annika, I’ve been feeling down.” My mentor was sitting at a desk, drinking tea and writing in one of his many small notebooks. "Do you feel your own grief surface?," he replied. "No, more like I put myself in her shoes, and feel compassion." He advised, "Keep a journal--one just for yourself, your thoughts and daily experiences. And one for your work in the residency; write down everything you're thinking. It'll help, trust me."

----- Talia Frank lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. She contributes to the Donut Club, an East Bay writer’s group. Visiting Berlin in 2018 inspired a love of community gardens and allowed her to re-examine Judiasm within a global context.

Reach the author: [email protected]

Visual art: www.cargocollective.com/taliafrank

Blog: https://wanderlustblumen.wordpress.com

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flying-elliska · 5 years

Text

Elu feelings

I cope by writing meta, so expect a lot of it this weekend. I think I’m going to be processing s3 for a long time tbh. I feel like all ships have a few core emotions they run on, you know ?

The first one I can think for Eliott and Lucas is relief. Like look at them after their first kiss, hugging and laughing. It’s like this big stormcloud of tension that has just broken into rain over their heads and is now watering their crops. Relief because they’ve both been lonely for a long time and they just found each other and it’s downright miraculous.

It’s that corniest of corny tropes, love at first sight, except for them it really works, because they show us time and time again how perfectly they fit together. They both want something committed and deep, they’ve got artistic sensibilities, they’ve been hurt a lot by life but still want to believe, they’re both so passionate. Eliott’s romantic playfulness manages to reach beyond Lucas’ walls, Lucas’ fierce devotion is able to reach through Eliott’s pessimism and self-hate. They can be themselves together after a lifetime of hiding. Eliott gives Lucas signs that it’s okay to be goofy, and Lucas shows appreciation for it. During the piano scene, Eliott looks at Lucas like water in the desert. And Lucas just blossoms as soon as he doesn’t have to bother with shallow, bullshit pretend relationships anymore. I don’t like the ‘we complete each other trope’ usually, but those two, they really do. They went on their own journey but it’s really like something wasn’t right with the universe until they got together. And look at how relieved they are to see each other again after being pulled apart. The minute by minute becomes that too in the end, as does the parallel universe metaphor - there could be so many ways and so much time for them to be apart, and they’re going to make damn sure they never have to be apart again. It’s fragile and it’s beautiful and it’s the most right thing ever. They just fit.

The second one is...probably yearning, working along with the first one. They’re both just so needy. Eliott is in general ‘a lover of all things’ (like Maxence said) - and as shown through the Polaris video, he desperately wants a true soul connection, something that goes beyond appearances, beyond fears. He puts that film out in the world like a message in a bottle. He doesn’t get funding, but it does reach the one person it needed to. The story could be hella sappy and it would fit the whole artsy teenager with too many feelings thing, but it’s just so earnest. He’s terrified of ‘the dark’ (ie his issues with mental illness) and what it would do to people around him, and yet he’s still willing to take his deepest, most desperate desire and put it into the palm of the world. There’s something so brave about that. And Lucas ? He starts out as disconnected and adrift, pretends to be tough and a player but scratch the surface even once and wow. The way he clings to his mask speaks of his fear of being left alone. And the way he just opens up to Eliott so fast - he’s been looking for that forever, really. Someone to really see him, and see that need. The way things went in his family probably hurt him so deeply because under his grumpy façade, Lucas strikes me as someone incredibly loyal and caring, and what his father did probably shook a lot of his core beliefs. Because of this and his internalized homophobia, he took on a ‘feelings make you weak’ demeanour. So it’s so important that him and Eliott made it through - it allows him to believe in love again, that he is worthy of being loved, it’s some deeply existential shit. (even though the part with his friends was also crucial.) And it’s why it never seems rushed that they move so quickly. It’s really like a spark comes and starts a wildfire in a few moments because everything was ready for it already. I would buy them moving in together, for real. Obviously they might have issues down the road because of this. Lucas’ abandonment issues and Eliott’s troubled self-image and issues linked to bipolar are not going to just vanish overnight. They just care and want this so much they might rush into things. But you really believe they’re going to pull through and spend the rest of their lives together, anyway.

I’m also thinking of faith. That’s the whole point of the Remember montage. The beginning of their relationship is really messy. Eliott cheats on his gf and bails on him and sends him all sorts of mixed signals, Lucas says some really ignorant things about mental illness and pretends to be into girls and uses Chloé and says mean things about him to his friends. Lucas is forcibly outed, then there’s the whole houseboat which might have been very traumatic for the both of them - someone else in their shoes might have said, this is too much for me, and they might not have been entirely unjustified. I feel one important aspect of this pairing is that you’re never entirely sure they’re going to end up together. Sure, they’re perfect for each other, but their issues interact in ways that mean they’re uniquely suited to hurt each other as well. When you look at Lucas’ past, Eliott on paper really isn’t an ideal partner. Lucas too can be sharp and mean and reckless, or he can go overboard when he cares about something. They’re both very aware as it develops that this could end up being dangerous for them, that they could wreck each other. This version of the story just has so much more tension and uncertainty than the other remakes, for some reason - maybe because Lucas is more isolated, or Eliott is less cool on the surface than Even, or maybe it’s down to technical choices too. The amount of feelings between is overwhelming right from the start, it’s like, it could easily become too much. And then there’s the whole stigma from society thing. And of course, love, between anyone, remains one of the most terrifying things in life, because of the trust and openness and vulnerability it demands. So faith is important, because it implies making a bet that things will turn out alright in the end. It’s about compassion and moving on from the past but also learning from it. And choosing to put the positive possibilities above the negatives. They choose to have faith in themselves, too, when they choose the relationship. That they’re going to figure it out, be better at communicating. The church montage makes a lot of parallels between religious faith and love, as being a refuge in times of sorrow, something true and sure when everything is uncertain. It should be the meaning of ‘christ-like’ love. And this is not about Lucas being some sort of savior figure for Eliott in spite of his ‘flaw’ - it’s for himself too, that compassion and that faith. That he can be better than his father. That he recognizes the faith Eliott put in him by telling him about Polaris - now he probably understand fully what it means, that Eliott was telling him he was stuck in that darkness too, that he gave Lucas this key because he had faith in Lucas’ capacity to love. It’s about people’s faith deserving to be rewarded in kind. It’s so beautiful, I want to cry.

And last but not least - tenderness. If I had to pick only one, it would be this one. And it’s not (only) about them being so cuddly and prone to PDA as soon as they get together, it’s a much deeper thing. It’s like they look at each other and go ‘hello, your soul is beautiful and belongs with mine, let me make some room for you’. It’s in the way they approach each other - Lucas makes the first move, then Eliott shows his interest in a way that is ‘chelou’ enough to signal something more is going on - repeats his name only for him - but never pushy. It’s the entirety of the piano scene, and the way they keep unveiling little bits of who they truly are to each other - Eliott’s wacky music and moves are incredibly important for that, and so is Lucas’ playing - it’s them creating a space for each other saying, look you’re safe with me, I am weird and intense and passionate and artistic and I know you are too. It’s that conversation as they walk home, the carefully worded sentences where they’re pushing each other towards the conclusion of ‘not necessarily a girl’. And it’s of course the first kiss - Eliott pushing at Lucas enough to show him how much he cares and get past his walls, but letting him do the first move. And Lucas letting Eliott know he has seen Polaris. And obviously the entirety of Samedi 9 : 17. Lucas knowing what to say to reach Eliott, his emotional intelligence. Eliott’s little drawings, and his romantic gestures that show Lucas he deserves a grand love story. Lucas taking care of Eliott after his episode, the croissants and the flowers and the meals. The playfulness, the care, the attention. They want to help each other be as free and happy as they could be, they care so much about each other’s developpment ? The way they’re constantly checking in with each other - minute by minute, and the reciprocity of the bus stop scene - Eliott knowing how to use it to soothe Lucas’ fears as well, showing the truth of the concept that they both will have difficult moments. They’ve bruised each other’s hearts, it’s heavy, but they also handle it as a privilege - it’s so much better than not being in each other’s lives. When they’re together, it has the carefree vibe of young first love, joyful and clumsy and rowdy ; but you catch glimpses of them as old souls, too, with a maturity and selflessness and depth of love that is just awe inspiring. It’s love as sanctuary and refuge, and love that opens the doors to the world.

I’m never going to be over it tbh.

#skam france #elu #skam france season 3 #lucas lallemant #eliott demaury #lucas x eliott #my meta

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