#and then it kills them. and they're proud. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-lark-ascending69 · 2 days

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Near-future, black mirror esque AU in which Nancy, stressed college student with loads of childhood trauma, gets recommended by her psychologist to get an emotional support robot. That's what they're called, yes. They're sold to very lonely people to pretty much look after them emotionally. Nancy has always hated the idea, and doesn't really like androids or robots of any kind. Plus, she thinks it's quite sad that she's so lonely she needs an android to keep her company. She also couldn't possibly afford it.

Her friend Steve, though, who hasn't seen her in a year despite living 15 minutes away (she has a tendency to isolate herself and use her studies as an excuse), got her one. It's a second-hand unit, a slightly older model that's seen several repair shops in the past, but it works, and it was half the price of a new one. He shows up to her apartment with the box, looking smug and proud of himself. If anything, Nancy feels insulted.

She doesn't touch the box for a few weeks, and doesn't get rid of it either, because her studies take her so much time, she can't bring herself to keep her apartment clean. When her mother visits and sees the mess she's living in, with a perfectly functional android willing to help her, she finally caves, and as soon as she's alone, she decides to see if this thing can at least help her clean up.

It surprises her that it looks so... human. Its skin is soft and warm, with all the natural imperfections of a human's skin. Same as her hair. She's dressed in old worn-out clothes, and she curls into herself, in fetal position, inside the box. Only the button under her skin on the back of her neck reveals her as an android. Nancy reads the instructions, presses there for 10 seconds, and waits.

Or she planned to wait - eight seconds in with Nancy's fingers pressed on that spot, and the android's eyes flew open. She cried out, screambled out of the box and looked around, breathing heavily and hugging herself. Her eyes fix on Nancy, look her up and down with a frown, and asks:

"Who are you?"

Nancy opens her mouth to reply, then looks down at the instructions, hoping they'd say something about this kind of scenario, and that her new robot didn't go rogue and try to kill her.

"Wait, are those my instructions?" The robot asked. She looked down. "I really don't mean to complain about my living situation going from extremely fucked to simply fucked, but that is not my original box. Mine was smaller, and it had a bunch of little dots on the side. Did they sell me again?"

The instructions said nothing about this possibility, so Nancy decided it was time to improvise.

"I... my friend got you at a garage sale, I think."

"Oh. Well, that is low, even for me," the robot said. She rubbed the back of her neck. "Should my neck hurt this much?"

Nancy blinked.

"Shouldn't you know that?"

"Honestly, I don't even know what levels of pain are normal for me. It always hurts just a little bit somewhere, like, right now, my whole spine really hurts." She laughs. "At least I think it's supposed to feel like pain? I don't think we're wired to feel pain, exactly, I mean, that would be just sadistic. Talk anti-natalism to me. But I swear this spot right here just feels really really bad. Or maybe it's anthropocentric to... perceive it as pain, don't you think? It's very existentialist, actually, the whole... perceiving thing - I bet Berkeley wrote something about it, at some point, but I haven't read him in ages."

"You read books?"

"What? Oh. Oh, uh... I - I think I'm offline? Like, I don't have access to the database, so I kinda have to do it the old-fashioned way if I want to learn somethin," she said. "It's cool, though! I like reading a lot."

"...Okay. So, um... here it says your model is..."

"Robin," the android said. Nancy looked up.

"I'm sorry?"

"That's my name," she said. "I came up with it, I - I thought it sounded nice. Do you like it?"

Nancy stared at this... thing, a million thoughs coursing through her head. The first one was a newfound understanding of her low price.

She made a movement with her head that could be understood as both a shake and a nod at the same time.

"Yeah, yeah, sure" she said, brows knit together. What the hell did Steve get her into? "It's... nice."

"Oh, thank God, because Mom and Dad hated it."

"Mom and...?"

"My first owners - Richard and Melissa, I always called them Mom and Dad. They... they, uh, they hated that, too."

Jesus Christ.

"So... Robin," Nancy said. "I was wondering if you could help me put away some of my things while I study."

"Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure." She stood there, eyes wandering, around, until they fell on Nancy's bookshelf "Holy shit, you have Dostoyevski! Is it in Russian?"

Nancy blinked, opened her mouth, took a step back and shook her head. Robin was already striding towards her bookself, tracing the spines of books with her fingers.

"Actually, why don't you read after you clean this up?"

Robin turned to see her, eyes wide and a growing smile, like a kid in a candy shop.

"I - I can read all of this?"

Nancy was going to kill Steve.

She shrugged and shook her head.

"Sure," she said. "After you clean this mess."

"Aye aye, cap!" Robin chirped, making a quick salute with her hand and getting to work.

Nancy was, for certain, going to murder Steve for making her responsible for this... thing. There was something wrong in her system, and that was very much obvious. She looked down at the instructions manual - surely there would be a way to turn her off for the night. She wouldn't want Robin to murder her in her sleep, or worse - wake her up at 4 am to talk about books.

Or she could just tell her to shut up. She was a robot, anyway. It's not like she could feel anything.

#ronance #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #Android Robin AU #my posts #wake up baby new AU just dropped

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muzzleroars · 1 year

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violence, round one: the violent against neighbors (meet your maker)

#ultrakill #v1 #JUST an idea i've been kicking around for a minute #like. everyone is in hell #and so v1's creators must be in there somewhere too #all they can both do is share a brief moment of recognition though #the husks too far gone and v1's memory too corrupted #and then it kills them. and they're proud.#look at how far it's come. and think of how far it will go. fuck it up little guy lol #they built it and they could never know just how successful it could be #doodle tag #body horror cw #I KNOW they look like gummy bacon but still!!!!!!#(the binary around the halo just spells the same luke verse)

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zizzy-rie · 10 months

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Introducing: Sun Qiuyue!!! The firstborn child of Wukong and Liu'er in the Rock Monkies AU

They were born through magic!

Qiuyue is basically the laidback vers of younger Wukong. They're a chill dude. Just don't mess with their brother or they will fuck you up and will bite and stab people, especially if given the chance.

Qiuyue was born before the events of JTTW.

A lot of stuff happened (mainly Wukong's hubris) which led to them getting put into a jar for several years until someone got them out. Their memories were locked out so they never remembered who their parents were, until at a certain point in the present timeline.

They call Wukong "baba" while "a-die" for Liu'er. They usually call MK "Tian-didi".

#I love this gremlin child #They will absolutely kill for their fam #And especially for xiaotian #Xiaotian doesn't allow them tho #And yes they collect knives #They're short and are proud of it unlike their baba #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #monkie kid au #monkie kid oc #Rock Monkies AU

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chocoenvy · 2 years

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nah cause trying to kill each other the entire night without alerting everyone else, especially the Harbingers............

almost being caught but the Tsaritsa covers for you and they just shrug and assume your one of them. but she only covers you bc you've piqued her interest, and if anyone is going to kill you it's going to be her.

still doesn't stop some nosy nobles from trying to knock you down a peg. it's kinda hard to miss the Tsaritsa, masquerade or not, and it's harder to miss the leech clinging to her arm the entire time.

their trying to get on her 'good' side but you keep bullying them and making the Tsaritsa laugh and it's not fair >:(

meanwhile your having the time of your life thoroughly ruining every stuck up noble that pops into view and getting away with it bc the Tsaritsa thinks it's funny watching them fume and not be able to do a damn thing, bc your obviously in good favor with her..while completely oblivious to the fact you've both tried to kill each other five times during the entire conversation.

but also maybe an agent gets a lil too suspicious so when you slip out to the balcony they take their chance. except the moment they put their hands on you, their tossed clear across the balcony and through the railing.

the Tsaritsa's expression has been mostly subdued the entire time but she looks pissed. like full on snarl with her big ol teef....yknow :)

which. okay like that was hot but did you just kill your own agent.........

meanwhile the Harbingers are just ????????? excuse me

she does not acknowledge it. just drags you back inside and doesn't let you leave her sight for 0.2 seconds. she also doesn't acknowledge that she feels disappointed when you disappear after the masquerade is over.

it'd be a shame if you showed up again afterwards... 👁👁

THIS GOT TOO LONG UM. anyway pretty tall evil women am i right :) - eros

HASHDFLASDFJSADFSADFASF OSAGHASLFJSLCMSALGHALFSDJCSAASDKFJA EROSSSS OH MY GOODFSADFSDF YKNOW WHAT FUCK YOU EAT YOUR TSARITSA FOOD I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT

QUEEN

Tsaritsa x reader

4.5k words

notes: FUCK this got long i really cannot help myself when it comes to the tsaritsa. i twisted the brainrot a lot idk how it happened don't ask

warnings: violence, blood, slight gore, not sagau, reader wants to murder the Tsaritsa and is not ashamed

The mask clung onto your skin, as well as your fake smile. You kept your steps steady and balanced, despite the weight on your thighs and in your shoes.

Tonight was the night the Tsaritsa would die.

You were silent, eerily so in the loud ballroom. The clacking of shoes and cacophony of voices making it impossible to hear the little noise you were making.

You grabbed a stranger's hand, held onto a random drink, twirled around with them for a moment and moved on. You were floating in the ballroom, every step firm and quiet, every breath even and soft.

It was little things, but they made all the difference when you were less than six feet away from her eminence. When even she didn't catch your form approaching. Her back was not exposed the whole night, but in their happy stupor the harbingers had lured her away from her illustrious throne.

You approached her back, your eyes cast aside somewhere else, your head turned to stare at one of the grand decoration. Your shoes - stuffy and filled with emergency explosives - caught onto the train of Her Majesty's dress and you fell right onto her, your glass dropping out of your hands and shattering on the floor.

She, in all her glory, didn't even stumble. Her veil covered her expression but you saw her head turn.

The noise that so effectively covered any noise was gone. The ballroom was deathly quiet.

As soon as your eyes made contact with her veil you started to wail. Tears leaking out of your eyes before anyone could even blink. You bowed lowly, sputtering apologies, and cradling your hand that was now sputtering out blood.

Your shoes slipped on the liquid on the floor pathetically, and you're not sure what possessed the Tsaritsa, but she grabbed you by your upper arms and helped you regain your bearrings.

The glare of the harbingers was so fucking satisfying but you kept up your frightened façade, your body shaking uncontrollably.

Remember why you're here. The memories resurfaced and it wasn't hard to pretend anymore. The tears from those nights resurfaced and you sobbed uncontrollably just like the kid you used to be.

Her hands on you felt dirty, even through her gloves. She didn't remove her hands from you, instead grabbing your injured hand. There wasn't an ounce of care in her touch, even through the gloves you could feel the biting cold of her fingers.

You sniffled as she walked away from you. And then your jaw dropped as looked back at you.

You stumbled to catch up, an embarrasingly pathetic display.

This was not part of any of your plans. You had hundreds, preparing for this day for years and daydreaming about it for even longer.

But in none of them had you ever entertained the thought of the Tsaritsa willingly leading you into a room alone.

None of the harbingers followed, even though they stared at you like the invader you are, they didn't do anything to stop the Tsaritsa.

Not to mention how frankly stupid this was. You knew your helpless display was supposed to have an effect similar to this, but the Tsaritsa isn't stupid. The bounty on her head is more money than anyone could even dream of, and the emotional satisfaction you'd get from her blood all over the ballroom floor was greater than monetary value. It was enough for you to willingly put your head on the line. She was accustomed to assassins and idiots like you, so why was she acting like this?

You bumped into her, a flurry of apologies spilling out of your mouth.

She held her hand up and you shut your mouth. She opened up the door in front of you two and motioned for you to enter.

You sucked in an apprehensive breath, There's no denying the Tsaritsa, and you stepped straight into your doom.

The room was small compared to the ballroom, but the ceiling was tall as well as the doorway to accommodate their queen. You didn't get much time to inspect it as said ruler ordered you to sit on a nearby seat. You did so with no complaints and the Tsaritsa kneeled in front of you. Your jaw dropped, eyes bulging out of your sockets as she grabbed your hand without warning.

It was still bleeding profusely, and with all the adrenaline from being in the Tsaritsa's presence you didn't even notice the glass shards still stuck in your skin.

The Tsaritsa used her teeth - correction: fangs - to tug off her glove. Her hand was large and slender, her nails nearly claws.

Your heart dropped to your stomach, thudding loudly throughout your system. A shiver crawled up your spine at the sight of her fangs, your hand that she was holding onto locked up. You unconsciously attempted to pull away but her grip increased causing a low whine to itch at the back of your throat.

She used her nails to get the glass out, and once she was done she ran her finger over your palm.

You yelped, "Cold!"

You swore you heard the breath of a laugh escape her, but she didn't acknowledge it and you chose not to as well.

Meanwhile the skin on your hand sealed up cleanly, leaving nothing but smeared blood on your palm.

That's when your sensed kicked back into gear. This is chess, and the key to winning was right in front of you.

You leaned down, faking a pained expression, "S-sorry this getup is really stuffy..." She didn't move, her hand remaining on your once injured one until it was fully healed.

When you felt her grip loosen you held on tighter, grabbing her wrist and pulling you towards her.

Your finger tugged on the trigger to activate the explosive but her gloved hand grabbed your arm and nearly tore it clean off.

You brought your leg up to kick her square in the jaw. She dodged with ease, her non-gloved hand grabbed the back of your neck and flung you across the room. Your back slammed against the wall and you let yourself go limp.

Her heels clacked against the floor, like a clock counting the seconds to your last breath. She stopped in front of you, you kept your head tilted forward, allowing a few more tears to fall from your eyes.

She kneeled down and tugged your hair back, forcing your enraged eyes to meet hers.

You plunged your knife into her neck, but she moved a bit out of the way. Still, blood poured out of her neck.

Golden blood.

She grinned her fingers coming up to feel the liquid, smearing it on her hand.

Her fangs flashed, they were deadly sharp.

KILL THE QUEEN!

You charged head first in again, your knife ready to plunge into her neck once more. She hit the floor with a thud, her body lax and not struggling, an almost dreamy smile on her lips, her veil had fallen above her head revealing her eyes...

Your entire body froze. Not in fear nor from the cold, no the adrenaline running through your veins was enough to drive the blade straight through her neck.

So why weren't you?

Your orbs, wide and wild, stared directly into her calm and piercing ones. They were a light blue... sort of. They were more like opal gemstones, reflecting every color in the cold ice that has frozen them over. There were so many colors deep within her orbs, you're sure you could study them for a century and still not have them memorized.

"I haven't seen my own blood in a long time, much less in a golden hue." The Tsaritsa was relaxed, even with the blade right above her throat, her eyes were hypnotizing.

She placed her pointer finger - ungloved - on the tip of the blade and pushed it away.

Your body didn't struggle, but you could feel your face twisting in anger and frustration. She sat up, slowly, leering down at you. She took the veil completely off and set it aside.

"You do know what's happening to you, right?" She grabbed the blade from your hands with no struggle.

You growled, "You..."

She grinned, for someone so expressionless during the party, the way her lips curled made your blood curdle.

She put her clawed pointer finger on your nose, "My eyes hold the power of love, and that is to make whoever looks at them to do whatever I please." Her smile was damning, burning itself into your brain as another reminder of this damn woman, "So, in short, you never stood a chance."

"You fucking-" Your tongue went numb, and if looks could kill you'd be walking away from the palace with enough money to buy another Zapolyarny palace.

"Such awful language, not even going to beg for mercy?" She pouted, but her eyes - despite the complexity - remained perfectly protected behind ice. Nothing slipped past her secure barricades.

You regained feeling in your tongue, "I'd rather die." You spat.

She hummed, "Well, too bad I find that utterly boring. Stand up." She commanded and your body obeyed without another thought. She stood up after you, her looking down at you was a million times worse with her veil off, "You wanted to kill me, I'll give you until the end of the night to succeed."

"Wait- I don't agree to th-!"

"You're in no place to be asking for things." She put her large hand on your head, forcing your head to tilt up to look at her eyes, "If you refuse to kill me all bets are off. I'll give you to my harbingers to handle, and trust me they're not as merciful as me." Her grin was hollow.

You glared, "Fuck you."

"There'll be no room for that out no the dancefloor. Now," She swiped a hand over her wound and all traces of what you'd done were gone. She grabbed your hand, "Let's go."

You didn't have a choice in the matter. The Tsaritsa had fixed herself and you up, and led you back to the ballroom.

The stares you got were invigorating, all pairs of eyes on the imposing aura of the Tsaritsa and then traveling to you. They were confused as to why you were hanging off of her arm.

Honestly you didn't know yourself but you weren't passing up this opportunity to tear apart the Zapolyarny palace from the inside. Not like you could leave but might as well pretend you had some autonomy in this situation.

Though it didn't take long to be thoroughly sick of the night. You were already disoriented from your first assassination attempt, and once the nobles started approaching the Tsaritsa and talking to her you felt your insides turn.

"Your glory precedes you and your wonderful deeds are ones that have been spread throughout the land thanks to my help." They'd say shit like that, and it pissed you off.

At least the Tsaritsa wasn't pretending she wasn't a piece of shit, but these guys were making her seem like a saint. She. Isn't.

"Your eminence, I must commend you on your conquest of the other archons and rebellious individuals in Snezhnaya. Organizations like that will merely tear down all of your hard work."

"Yeah mass genocide is tiring." You said, melting further the Tsaritsa's side so if the noble made a move you could use her as a shield, "Rebellions are so awful too not like that's how Mondstadt liberated themselves from an oppressive ruler. Oh, but it's bad when it happens here."

"You-" Their eyes darted from you to the Tsaritsa back and forth over and over, "You dare sully the Tsaritsa's good name and Snezhnaya? In front of her and in the Zapolyarny palace no less?" He screamed, catching quite a few more eyes.

You suppose this is what going out with a bang meant.

You grinned, "Yes."

"Why you-!" He reached for you, red in the face from rage and the embarrassment.

It wasn't a second later his hand was cut clean off. The Tsaritsa remained mostly motionless, save for the blood on the hand that wasn't occupied with you.

A scream ripped from his throat, and yet the only reaction was one of the harbingers dragging him off.

"What the fuck..." You whispered.

"Are you alright? He didn't touch you right?" There was a mocking lilt in her voice.

You huffed, glaring up at her, "No."

Another attendant had given her cloth she could wash her hand with.

"Good." She pat your head once her hand was clean.

The lingering stench of blood didn't bother you.

Oddly enough there were still nobles willing to approach the Tsaritsa, even with you blabbering away at her side.

You already tried to assassinate her, she could kill you at any time with little more than a "they were annoying" to write off your death. You might as well cause a little ruckus while you were here. This might be your last night.

"Your holiness," An entrepreneur bowed, his expensive outfit making all sorts of noise as he moved, "Thanks to your help of eradicating those annoying vermin, our operations can go smoothly. The production of precious gemstone jewelry is booming, and we don't have to travel all the way to Liyue as much anymore."

It was a way to brag and advertise his business and his supposed "connection" to the Tsaritsa by loudly exclaiming all of this. You could already see the jealous gazes (that had also been fixed on you) sweeping over to this guy.

Your gaze darkened, "Eradicating vermin that were doing more good than you are right now?"

The guy jumped, clearly not expecting you to actually talk.

He glared, "What is that supposed to mean? Surely you're not defending those wastes of spaces?"

"And who are you to decide who's a waste of space or not?" You matched his glare, "If it were up to me everyone in here is stealing precious oxygen, but I'm not pretentious enough to actually think that."

He huffed, glancing up at the Tsaritsa, expecting her to shut your foul mouth. But instead there was an amused smile on her lips.

The man pursed his lips, clearly annoyed but not willing to step on the Tsaritsa's toes, "Then I hope you enjoy it in the Zapolyarny palace, where everyone thinks the same of you."

That's if I survive past tonight. You didn't say it aloud, and the man walked away in a fuss.

"You're quite amusing." The Tsaritsa chuckled, her baritone voice and quite tone making her hard to hear with the bustling crowd and music, "I haven't seen this much action at a party since Tartaglia was first announced a harbinger."

You hummed, not really caring.

The Tsaritsa muttered, "Everyone is expecting you to ask me to dance."

"What!" You exclaimed a bit too loudly, a few eyes flickering over to your masked face before turning away.

Her smile widened, "You've been the only one brave enough to talk so brazenly right in front of me, they're wondering if we're going to dance."

"..." You furrowed your brows, "Are you trying to get me to ask you to dance?"

She grinned, "I don't know, are you going to ask me?"

You glared up at her, and you couldn't see her eyes through her veil. You felt cursed to know what secret was under her veil.

You huffed, standing in front of her. With a damn near wicked grin, you bowed and held your hand out, "Would you like to dance with me?"

You gave her no honorifics, an evil smile, and a knife ready in your sleeve.

She took your hand, despite seeing all the red flags, and walked straight into the fire pit with you.

Although when you're the goddess of ice, you suppose fire can't hurt you much anyways.

The Tsaritsa realized all too quickly that you weren't the best at dancing. She giggled while offering you to step on her shoes.

You declined at first, for your pride... but you quickly realized that constantly tripping was a lot more embarrassing than stepping on her toes.

So, begrudgingly, you did so.

She led the dance gracefully, and everyone made room for the two of you.

It was the perfect crime scene. It'd be beautiful and bloody.

Your hand placed on her waist was perfect, the knife slipped from your sleeve and-

She grabbed your wrist in a death grip, but you didn't let go of the weapon.

She grinned and slid it back into your sleeve with her finger, "You're going to have to try harder than that."

You huffed, her claws had left tiny cuts on your wrist, just barely pouring out a few droplets of blood.

Tripping the Tsaritsa was also a fruitless endeavor. You had tried and only ended up almost falling yourself, though she had framed it as intentional as she had caught you.

You were sweating from all the dancing, as well as the multiple attempts of seeing more of her ichor. To see those eyes with no power behind them.

The Tsaritsa giggled at your face, letting go of your hand to touch your forehead. The flicker of coolness from her glove was a relief, though it wasn't much.

"Should we go to the balcony to cool you down?" She teased, the emotion in her tone made you sneer uncomfortably.

"...sure..." You muttered, keeping your eyes trained suspiciously on her.

She slowed to a stop, "Well you'll have to get off my feet first," She chuckled.

You blinked and stepped off, though she didn't release your hand. Instead she led you to the balcony, her dress billowing behind her elegantly.

You grit your teeth at how pristine she looked. You'd given your whole life away to see her dead, and here you were, right next to her. Both of you still breathing.

The door shut behind the both of you, leaving the two of you completely isolated. The cold air on the balcony was refreshing, less so with the Tsaritsa's large hand holding onto your own but it wasn't like you could just shake her off.

No, you came here to kill the queen. And you'd do it no matter what, even if it ended with you gone too. You'd be at peace.

But there was no peace in the blizzard, and you were a prisoner of the Snezhnayan snow.

The Tsaritsa stood behind you, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up as you turned to look at her. Before you could crane your neck up to look at her, she placed her bare hand on your forehead.

"You're cooling down."

You shivered, "That's because you're freezing."

She placed her other gloved hand on your neck, there wasn't any murderous intent behind it - more of a warning.

"It doesn't seem the cold bothers you much, if you were willing to come here and try to kill the Tsaritsa herself." Her fingers slightly increased their grip.

Your heart rate spiked uncomfortably, "It was out of necessity."

"It was necessary for you to kill me, hm?" You could hear the smile in her voice.

Your fists clenched. "Yes."

She hummed, amused, "I've heard that many times, sometimes when you're told something over and over again you start to believe it."

"So will you roll over and let me kill you?"

She tilted your head back, grinning down at you. Just barely you could see a twinkle of her eyes, "I'm afraid I'm not there yet. Though if you were to beg me I might think about it."

You paused.

She laughed out loud, genuine and surprised, "You're not actually considering it are you?"

"I did say it was necessary for me to kill you." You shrugged, "Any means necessary. Plus you'd be the only one to see and you'd be dead."

She hummed, "You're determined, I'll give you that. Maybe a bit too much for such a pretty face."

You narrowed your eyes, "Your flattery is meaningless to me."

"I'm aware, but it's not meaningless to me." Her smile softened.

You grimaced, "What is that supposed to mean?"

She moved some hair out of your face. She answered with an enigmatic smile, and leaned into your ear.

"I know why you want me dead," She whispered, you could feel her smile against the shell of your ear.

"You..." Your words fell flat as did all reasoning in your head.

She pulled back, and you could see her beautiful eyes from under her veil.

Anger pooled through your veins, melting your veins frozen over from the cold.

You turned quickly, tugging on whatever you could grab on her and shoving your knife directly in front of you.

There was no strategy, no rhyme or reason. This was the worst plan you had and that was to recklessly stab at her, with tears streaming down your face.

Sadly, she had covered the knife with her hand, but it had still gone through her hand and golden ichor was leaking out the sides.

She grabbed your hair with her unoccupied hand, tugging at it painfully. You didn't let go of the knife until the pain grew too powerful. With both of your hands now free, you grabbed the front of her shirt and tugged her towards you. With that you grabbed her neck and used the vision you had desperately ignored for the first time in years.

She choked, the ice crawling across her body.

The both of you lost your balance, falling onto the floor with the Tsaritsa on top of you.

She held herself up with one hand, the other still had your knife through it.

You reached your foot up and tried to kick her away, but it didn't phase her a bit. You used your hands to punch her and scratch her until there was golden streaks across her shoulders and cryo flecks all across her body, turning her skin black.

Tears were still streaming down your face. She wasn't fighting back. You were hopeless.

You sniffled pathetically, but still gave it your all.

"Using my own element against me? You're quite bold."

"Y-you need to die." You gritted out, "Why don't you get it, why won't you kill me? I want you dead!" You screeched.

There was a smile on her face, almost ethereal. You could see her eyes, you were staring directly at them. They were so pretty. They'd look even prettier without any life in them.

"I hate you," You sneered, "I hate you, I hate you."

She grinned, "Good."

However her grin was wiped right off her face all too soon as you felt a pinch in your neck.

You blacked out before you could see the carnage.

You woke up feeling like you had just slept for a decade. Your entire body felt like it was made of lead and you just wanted to go back to sleep.

Then you felt your bed moving.

You gasped, bolting up. You groaned grabbing your head and a sore spot on your neck where you had probably slept funny.

You heard a groan from below you, you looked down to see the Tsaritsa.

"What the fuck!" You screeched, practically falling off the bed with a bang.

The Tsaritsa leaned over the side of the oversized bed hastily, "Are you okay?"

You sat up, "What happened?" You glared up at the Tsaritsa and she calmed down a bit.

"Good to know you're alright and still glaring." She put her clawed pointer finger in between your eyebrows, "Calm down, you're going to get wrinkles."

"Tell me what happened." You gritted your teeth.

"You tried to kill me multiple times, one of my attendants saw and heard, they darted you. It wasn't lethal but it had you out cold for days." She said. She wasn't wearing her veil so her eyes were on full display. They were wide and guarded, "Needless to say, you won't be seeing him ever again."

"What? Why?" You slowly stood up and the Tsaritsa helped you (while you grimaced).

"They tried to hurt you." She said simply.

You laughed in disbelief, "And I tried to kill you. Their actions were justified."

"Like I said, I know why you want me dead." She ran her fingers through your hair delicately, and you sneered at the touch, "And you're too interesting to be dead. If I had wanted you dead you'd have been gone as soon as I saw you enter the Zapolyarny Palace."

"..." You stared into space silently, until finally a dreaded question crawled its way out of your throat. You attempted to push it down to no avail until finally you were spewing out your thoughts, "Why did I live?"

She was silent for a few moments. She sighed, "Because you were too much like me. I've seen so many hopeless faces, you were hopeless and alone. Everyone you knew was dead, and yet you still didn't run. You wanted to survive. You wanted me dead." She laughed, "That's how you got that vision right there isn't it?" Your eyes snapped over to your vision on the side table, "Your ambition to live another day and to kill me. That thing is the reason you got away, and it's the reason I didn't follow you. Because if I had died in the snow alone all those years ago..." She didn't finish her thought. She grabbed the vision and tossed it over to you.

You caught it and frowned down at it.

"You hate that thing don't you?"

"With all of my being."

She chuckled, "I didn't expect anything else. Well, I'm not the one who decides who gets the vision of cryo. That is all you shall know about that. So you can stop cursing my name and start cursing the cruel hands of Celestia."

"Celestia..." Your eyes drifted over to hers, "You're starting a war with the stars aren't you?"

She snickered, "They're getting what's coming to them. You feel the same way about me as I do with Celestia. Sadly I can't let you kill me until my business with them is finished. Then maybe I'll let you get a few more stabs in."

You snorted, mildly amused, "Thanks I guess. Wait, is this a plot to recruit me to your Fatui organization? Gotta take down Celestia before I can get to you?"

"I mean, I'd quite enjoy your company but I won't force you to join the Fatui." Her hands delicately came up under your chin, "Having you around is enough."

You sneered, "You're a real charmer."

"I like to think I'm efficient, especially as the goddess of 'love'."

You hummed, "It's a deal then. I'll stick around until the fall of Celestia and then I'll be the murderer of the Tsaritsa."

She grinned, fangs poking out of her lips. She leaned in menacingly, "Deal. Just make sure you don't die in the Zapolyarny Palace. You're mine to kill just as I am yours."

"That sounds too romantic." You deadpanned.

She grinned, "Well I am the supposed goddess of love."

#tsaritsa #tsaritsa x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #this isn't sagau idk how to tag #fatui <3 #i literally ignored everything else on tumblr until this was done i hope you're proud of yourself eros/j #this derailed i make no sense but pretty tsaritsa lady and trying to kill her >>>>>>>>>>#reader is a baddie i love them #when they want to kill you>>>>>>>>>>>>>>#when they're okay with you wanting to kill them>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>#IM UNHINGED SORRY #enemies to lovers excpept i didnt feel like spending a lot of time on this so it's just enemy and lover HSADFKASJDFCASD

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what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque · 1 month

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Aaaaaaaaa just did the cazador mission and it was amazing, started off like I couldn't wait to kill his ass and then it just proceeded to get so sad and tense and emotional and ughh

That was honestly one of the most memorable experiences I've ever seen in a video game, hands down. And a choice that was both somehow easy and hard 😫

so unfair but deep down I love that

#baldur's gate 3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #Astarion #and man what a shitty combo of options tbh #he didnt ascend but honestly neither option felt good #i hate and love how gray it kind of is? although maybe its not really that gray #i mean killing 7000 undead just for him to live without fear is arguably not that bad since they were already vampires #but at the same time they're just like him so it's a pretty terrible place to be in #i let them all live and Astarion seemed okay with not ascending #next time though I'll let him do it #i just want him to be able to feel the sun 😭😭😭#also the Sebastian stuff was kind of a bummer. felt so bad for Astarion #i had Karlach with me and i loved her response afterwards she's so proud lol #also god damn i know everyone praises the voice acting in this game but it was seriously so good in that last scene

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novelconcepts · 4 months

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i don't make resolutions, but if i did

it would be to finish this fic

(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)

#i'm finishing it if it kills me #i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever #if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement #and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written #which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos.#but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum.#this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering.#happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship?#(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.)#but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you #not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish #and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened.#so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it.#kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature.#so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work)#anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping #to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy #and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished #come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers.#(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)

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aqqleshiqqing-archive · 8 months

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don't you love watching your friend beat up your boyfriend and beloved (tiso) (hollow)

#sorry i feel the need to talk about it as well this is an important moment #LARA FOUGHT BOTH TISO AND HOLLOW ON STREAM #TISO WAS HELLA DIFFICULT BUT AT LEAST I GOT TO SEE HIM IN ACTION AND HES SOOOOOOO WAAAAWAAAA #but hollow. holy fuck she GOT THEM SHE GOT THEM!!!!!#IM SO PROUD #this is also me studying to fight hollow SOON (SOON I SWEAR SOON ILL GET TO THEM)#EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR LIN RN SHE ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT AND IT WAS 2 HOURS WORTH #IDK IM JUST WHAYWHAHEHAGEGAHEAH IM HAPPY #lara dying over those two and im like mhmhmhhheshrhe they're so cute aheheehds 😍😍😍😍 SHEKAKSHDJAKSJAIA

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illithilit · 1 month

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Ori thinks durge is super neat and all, but the second she starts learning about Bhaal, the vibe becomes:

#sorry for being weird last night. it's just because there's a bunch of shit wrong with my brain // mobile.#Ori has never not had a v good relationship with her divine father #Did anyone really expect her to be normal about the idea that one's dad is puppeting them??#Ori vc: what do you MEAN he kills you if you disobey him 😰#Ori vc: mine just kisses me on my perfect little forehead and tells me he's proud of the atrocities #Ori vc: what IS THIS #anyway don't talk to her she boutta square up with a divine bITCH #( they're on the same level of divine power what now bhaalding?? )#Asmo >>>> Bhaal any day of any year imho

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cloud-somersault · 1 month

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(runs my hands down my face) i just want everyone to read constellations because i'm genuinely so proud of it and it's my new magnum opus but i understand it's not everyone's cup of tea but i'm like. so deadass convinced that if they just gave it a chance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#(stares out into the distance) i know i can't please everyone and my take is not to everyone's tastes #just like others takes aren't to my taste but like #ughhh idk i just want everyone to read it. i feel like a 6 year old who just drew a great drawing!! they're so proud!#and then they have to show their entire family and some of them are just like “yeah okay whatever”#BUT MAYBE IF THEY JUST LOOKED HARDER!!!!#nevermind it's fine.#y'know some people can't stand the thought of wukong doing a murder and that's perf fine #but i don't wanna live in a world where that monkey has not killed his best friend/mate LMFAOOOO

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nonuggetshere · 3 months

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I NEED to update my Radiance's gijinka design I stg I have such cool art ideas for her and PK but I am. So lazy.

Two sides of the same coin, equally as awful morally grey people that would maul each other to death if put in the same room, I love them 💜

I need to also focus more on her role in my AU because while I've rewritten pretty much the entire thing she was left behind and now idk what to do with her in the long run oopsie. All ik is that she ends up being mortal or near mortal after her fight with Ghost and Flower and she is Not happy about it, but it's also the only way PK would have left her alive and Flower is big on second chances so now she's just here, bitter and angry and a shadow of her former self (and actually I just didn't have it in me to kill her before I could do something cool with her + I like the potential dynamic she could have with other characters)

#thylacines can talk #faaf au #dunno where to put her now. originally she was going to return to her moth tribe and i might. do that still. have her try to live as just a #part of her people? what do ya think? humbles her a lot over time id imagine. but at first she's furious #she DESPISES the entire Palelight family especially PK and the two of his spawn that did this to her. doesn't help that Flower likes to go #to the blue lake to relax and its worringly close to the resting grounds. might have to abandon that habit for a bit if a certain #malice-eminating moth finds out about it. hard to relax when theres an angry ex god glaring at you. looking as if theyre planning your #demise. ya know?#i like the scene where Flower takes her to the palace and they walk in on PK having a meeting with his court about possible solutions to the #plague. suddenly becomes most stressful meeting of his life <3 #pk: And what stops me from just killing you right now? | Radi: UH-#flower steps between them #Radi internally: Oh thank god they're this stupid #one of initial character traits of Radis was the fact she kept referring to Flower as PK's child and praising them and rubbing their #existence in his face. like in a 'oh you must be so proud' way. because she KNEW it made him feel awful and she took delight in it #couldnt give two shits about flower she just liked to use them as a poking stick on their father #theyd bicker so much it was funny #WL sarcastic: Oh. Great. Wonderful. Thanks for that. As if we didn't have enough on our heads.#Flower barely standing and bleeding all over the place: 👍

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andthebeanstalk · 1 year

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WHAT UP THE CONFLATION OF SUFFERING WITH LOVE IS EXTREMELY QUESTIONABLE

Tags on this post, by @saint-ambrosef and @mariposasmonarch, isolated here because they accidentally hit on EXACTLY what I think brought about my original line of thinking:

#of course christ dying wasn't “necessary” #but damn if it isnt the most visible and obvious way to show someone that you love them #a person snapping their fingers and giving you everything you wanted isn't nearly as impactful as that person willingly enduring personal #suffering in order to give it to you #thats what we mean when we say “christ died for us” #not because he strictly had to but because he wanted to show us just how far his love goes #we puny humans can know in our lowest moments that god incarnated himself to be brutally murdered #just to make his “i love you” absolutely clear #its not a guilt trip...it's reassurance in its purest form #<- YES #and if this isn’t the most beautiful and touching expression of True Love #the Selfless Love #Love which is Willing the Good for the other for no reason but just that

I disagree with this. All of it. I genuinely think that dying for someone is a shitty and stupid gift, especially when you didn't need to do it and it provides them with no tangible benefit. I think this is a dangerous and irresponsible thing to teach your children.

Martyrdom and suffering are not inherent expressions of love.

I believe in good for others for the sake of good, and kindness for the sake of kindness. But what always throws me for a loop is the Christian idea that suffering on its own is a form of good. I disagree. I disagree with my whole heart.

As a child, I was taught that the best thing I could be is Christlike. And I was Not Okay.

I lived my life ready to set myself on fire to prevent someone else from feeling a chill, and this impulse still follows me over a decade after I lost my faith. (There were other factors also, but religion played a big role in this attitude.)

It has been devastating to my health, nearly to the point of death on multiple occasions. The idea that the best and purest form of love is to suffer - It's gross. I think it's gross. I don't feel loved; I feel like if someone tortured themselves to death and then I was told to rejoice, for they did it all for me! And I'm like... oh. I didn't... ask for that?

I've lived my entire adult life without proper healthcare. I would argue that someone snapping their fingers and giving me everything I ever wanted would actually be a LOT better for me than if they suffered and died. Like, magnitudes better.

I believe that the purest form of love is to LIVE for another person.

I've done that. I do that. I've seen people suffer pain worse than death and still not die just because they loved me. And I felt loved not because they were suffering but because they were doing whatever it took to live by my side and to live in happiness.

Sacrifice is a part of love, but it is not inherently loving. It has to have a reason or it is just pure performative loss, which actually does feel like a guilt trip!

I just-- I've gotten a ton of completely different dogmatic answers today, but to me, these tags are what strikes at the heart of it all.

The idea that we need to place every single other living thing before ourselves even and perhaps especially to the point of self-destruction.

For an example, in the Catholic church, most of the Saints are martyrs! And they were taught to us like action heroes with superpowers and everything! My little sister with their childhood OCD collected cards of saints like they were Pokemon cards! Which is really cute until you consider that they were a compulsive child idolizing a pantheon of people whose defining trait was brutal self-sacrificial death. They were one of the most anxious children I've ever met.

For me, as an autistic kid, the idea that suffering was somehow inherently good helped me to endure a lot more extreme sensory pain than I otherwise would have. I was terribly proud of my ability to endure pain. But now as an adult with crippling cPTSD, I can't help but notice that none of those sacrifices I made actually helped anyone!

I don't personally believe that gods are real. But if I did, I think I'd be awfully angry at the Christian god for killing himself and having the nerve to say it was for me.

I've literally had a loved one who believed they were a burden offer to kill themselves for me. It was a heinous idea for a gift, and I told them so. They were terribly disappointed when I chose the other, much more difficult and beautiful option, which was to live for each other. Live and grow and love in the light. To plant gardens for each other and cook them into meals. To build and nurture and know. THAT is the most beautiful and sure form of love. I will accept no substitutes.

I hope someday someone shows you love in a way that feels more beautiful to you than crucifixion - literal or metaphysical. You deserve love that isn't defined by pain.

#original #religious trauma #former catholic #ex christian #suicide tw #suicidal ideation #they didn't kill themselves and they're doing a lot better now and my partner and i are so terribly proud of them #any other ex catholics reading this - your happiness matters just as much as the person next to you #you are worthy of love outside of suffering #the best way to be a good person is not through pain but through love. and those are absolutely not the same thing.#there is no greater love you could put into the world then by choosing to live in it and live kindly #I think these tags really got to me cuz they are written like they were written by me in a parallel universe where I stayed Catholic #which. hey. at least means they're well written! ;)#reminds me a lot of how Jean Valjean at the end of Les Mis sacrifices himself for no reason even tho the thing that would #ACTUALLY have been the best for cosette would be to have a not dead dad #and once you're an atheist the fact that the metaphorical light of heaven shines on his face at the end is kind of cold comfort #it is an explicitly christlike death - SO much crucifixion imagery. but also.... he didn't need to???? and he doesn't get to resurrect??

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