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scribbledghost · 4 months

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a Neighbor!AU idea that has wormed its way into my brain and won't leave:

You're visiting Simon on-base for the first time. Partly as a way to see how he lives when he's not at home, and partly to meet the rest of 141. You're in Price's office with the rest of them, simply sitting around and chatting.

And suddenly an alert goes out. The base is on lockdown for some reason or another, but it's clear from the announcement that there's some sort of immediate danger. Simon's demeanor switches on a dime. Mere seconds ago, he was relaxed. Content, even. But as soon as that alert pops off, he changes.

You've never seen Ghost. You've heard of him from Simon, he's showed you the mask, and you know that technically they're one and the same. But Simon has told you in no uncertain terms that Ghost stays in the field. That Ghost is merely another side of himself whose sole purpose is to get Simon home alive. And once that mission is completed, he's just Simon again.

Not now though. Now, he's Ghost.

He wastes no time shoving you into a corner, standing in front of you with his back to you. Guarding you like a trained animal. You watch as he barks out orders to Soap and Gaz and discusses possible s.o.p.'s with Price. You hear him talk of an exfil, of ways to covertly get you off-base with the lockdown in effect. It's as if a switch has been flipped.

He accepts no words from you. Any attempt to ask what's going on or offer any suggestion earns a quick "hush" as he reaches back and squeezes a hand on you. The hand he lays on you is the only remnant of Simon you can see in him now - because even in the midst of a crisis that requires him to fully be Lieutenant "Ghost" Riley, even if he is verbally blunt and curt with you, he is physically still gentle.

Price manages to talk him down, but only slightly. He convinces Ghost to wait just a moment before proceeding with an attempted exfil, just to get more intel on what the situation really is.

"Anyone comes through that door, you drop 'em," Ghost orders.

"With what?" Soap asks. "We're unarmed."

"With your bare hands, Sergeant," Ghost replies coldly. "Either you kill 'em, or I will."

"An' what if it's some poor recruit that got caught out in the open and just needs a hideout?"

"Then they should've picked a different room."

A chill runs through you. You'd known in the periphery that Simon has killed before, a fact that's simply a given since he's an SAS member. But you'd never been faced with it so closely.

"No one's gonna come through the door," Prices says, holding a hand up like he's trying to calm a spooked animal. "It's locked three times over and reinforced."

Simon - Ghost - still has a hand on you as you stand behind him. The atmosphere is tense, and time slows to a crawl as you wait for more information to arrive. It's not as though you feel unsafe; you know there are few places in the world where you would be safer in your current situation. But there is still the nagging feeling that you're being guarded by a pack of wolves, all tightly-wound and liable to snap violently at any sign of movement.

Then, suddenly, another announcement.

An all-clear. Apparently some rookie had gotten their signals confused and thought there was a danger when there wasn't. A classic false alarm.

The collective task force (yourself included) seems to release a held breath at the same time. You watch as Ghost's shoulders sag, and you watch as Simon returns when he guides you out from behind him. You can tell he's still rattled, you can tell there's still vestiges of Ghost wafting through him like dark smoke. But for now, you all take some time to catch your breath and come down from the adrenaline high.

Maybe later, you'll talk about what happened. Maybe you won't. Either way, you've gotten to see much more of the militant side of Simon than what he'd bargained for when he brought you with him to the base today.

You're still not quite sure how you feel about it.

#ghost scribbles #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #neighbor simon

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theboytatu · 5 months

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on my youth - wayv: a review

it's not often that i look forward to an album as much as i did with this one tbh, so it was a little hard to accept the song description SM dropped for on my youth before it was released. "low tempo emotional hip hop ballad" is definitely not what i look for in kpop/cpop (this term will be used interchangeably sorry to the way is cpop purists following me) and i immediately let my expectations drop to nearly zero when this came out. SM has had a very, and i mean VERY hit or miss year - probably a combination of the hybe/kakao takeover fiasco and industry-wide creative exhaustion - for all their idols, with long-awaited comebacks missing the mark abysmally or simply putting out subpar "fine at best" insipid music.

wayv's last (and only) full album was released in the midst of the 2020 lockdown - a time so different in every aspect but specifically in the kpop world it feels like it could have been a lifetime ago - and after their 9/11, lineup changes, months of delays and two mini albums with mixed results, it's safe to say this album was make or break for the group. with that lengthy foreword out of the way i am very happy to inform that wayv not only delivered - they surpassed all my expectations and managed to deftly execute what was in their case their most awaited comeback ever. here are my highlights from the album:

on my youth

like i said, i really didn't know what to expect for an emotional hip hop ballad but this song packs a punch like few other low tempo title tracks do. it seems to hit every mark for a minor key progression - the slow start, the build-up, the emotional first verse being delivered beautifully by xiaojun's superb ability to emote, along with a really nice, kinda muted instrumental that consists of piano, some synths and a restrained percussion.

it even manages to deliver on the required second verse slow rapping about how people say we're too young to know better - thanks to yangyang's personality shining through on these verses the shtick manages to go from cheesy to enjoyable, and even hendery allows himself a moment or two of true sincerity in his rap.

the chorus is a welcomed switch-up with a catchy hook that quickly becomes an ear-worm. it's the perfect balance to make this song go from b-side to title track material. the final chorus has an amazing instrumental climax that matches the grandiose, emotional vibe of the song's theme and it translates amazingly in the performance video's choreography.

overall this song might be top 3 wayv's title tracks depending on who you ask. for me it's definitely up there and i actually love the english version better because well, you can tell this was originally meant to be an english language song. i give it a 9/10 (and i famously hate slower songs)

poppin' love

a lot of people would say that this should've been the title track and they might be right. i'm not sure what the artistic direction for this comeback was built around, but the emotional title track was definitely picked for a reason over a more conventional, easy sell like this one. but this one is not only an easy sell, it's yet another hit that proves wayv is the best and most 90s boyband coded group in kpop right now - because they are perfect for it. they fit the vibes and the sound in a way that few, if none, other current groups can pull off without feeling gimmicky.

the chorus is sultry enough to keep it in the r&b territory but the added hip hop elements keep it super energizing. it's like if love talk and nectar had a baby. the selling point for me is the added harmonization they included in the refrain of "you're the only one" and it's so cool. it feels like the entire song is tightly built around the bassline and the high melody of the chorus - at 3:05 minutes it gives you the exact amount you need of everything. nothing lags behind and nothing fizzles out too quickly. it has enough grit to stick your hands into while reimagining the classic boyband elements enough to keep you on your toes. a HIGH 10/10 from me.

rodeo

this song is just bonkers. is it that groundbreaking or original? not really, but it manages to make it feel soooo exciting it's like i've never heard a dj snake beat drop in my life lmfaooo 😭 the vocals are crunchy enough to give me asmr when putting on my headphones. the instrumental while very basic edm still punches in with some cool drums - but of course the star of the show is the bass drop.

referencing lil jon in this should be enough to give them an award tbh. like this is giving nct 127 unserious club banger in the best of ways.... and they still hold it down with their own personalities. this is not markyong going crazy with himalayas, this is yangdery showing they can pull off subunit songs (and winwin is there too i guess) while doing whatever in the recording booth. rodeo is just a VERY enjoyable kpop rap line playground and trust that i will eat it up every time it comes on. 9/10

moonlight

there are songs that can be amazing when you play the album, and there are songs that you just instantly know will be superior if you hear them performed live. moonlight is the second kind, and the entire vocal structure is enough to make me want to see wayv at a concert at least once in my life.

the chorus is insane. the stacked vocals give it a depth that is almost cinematic and i do need to give kun, ten and xiaojun their tens for this accomplishment, but specially kun. sure - xiaojun might be the most technically gifted vocalist in the group and i am in love with his tone, but this song has kun all over the foundations. i dont have the stems for the track but i can bet my life that kun recorded at least five layers for that chorus. his tone is so distinctive i can almost only hear him during the high points of the song.

anyway, this song is super pretty. it's just gorgeously designed. i actually wish it was a vocal line only song because the compulsory rap additions do not fit with the rest of the atmosphere at all. still, this gets a 10/10.

lighthouse

when i heard this the first time i wrote "wayv outsold both exo AND shinee for ballad of the year at sm" and i stand by it. again, this style is just classic boyband slow tear jerker and they execute it perfectly. i'm a notorious hater of ballads in kpop and yet not only can i sit through this every time i put on the album, i actively seek it out. like holy shit, this only happens with exo for me.

the song is very straightforward - a heartbreak song about missing the girl they lost. but it's so well made it just works perfectly. another point where wayv need to be praised is their ability to emote. xiaojun specially is amazing at this - you can hear the yearning in his voice. i actually think ten has also learned from him because he comes across just as sincere in this. (kun does famously stiffen up which is not an issue here but still, xiaojun carries this ballad for sure). the instrumental is very cozy and i like how the whole track is designed to sound as if they're singing from just slightly behind you. 9/10

#wayv #this review is so fucking long lmfaoooo #idc i had so much fun doing it this album truly has THEE most replay value

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askagamedev · 10 months

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Do major AAA companies listen to the audience complaints, criticism, or do they just make their decisions based on whatever data they have ( what's popular in other game, what are the new successful trends, etc)

For example, blizzard and overwatch 2 or pokemon and their gimmick.

It really depends on what you mean by whether major AAA companies "listen to the audience complaints". If you mean "those of us on the dev team are made aware of the fan concerns", then the answer is absolutely yes. [We get a lot of feedback from a lot of sources, and we pay attention to all of it.]

Even when we do get feedback we want to act on, [it takes a long time for those changes to see the light of day]. We are typically working 2-3 patches in the future of whatever's currently live in game. This is because the content patch process requires certification and testing that can take weeks to complete, so the patch nearest to going live is usually undergoing [cert], the patch after that is near lockdown going through internal QA, and the patch after that is the patch that we're currently developing and making changes to. Most major content updates ship every three months, so three patches in the future usually means players won't see the things we're working for another 6 to 9 months. This includes changes based on feedback.

We absolutely do listen to feedback and I absolutely understand the frustration because it sure looks like all that legitimate, reasonable, and valid feedback is being thrown into the void with no response. However, we can't really respond in a way that would be reasonable - we can't commit to anything because a lot can change in 6-9 months (including cancellation of stuff or changes in direction), we can't reveal our plans before they're ready, and we can't hurry the process along without sacrificing what stability we have.

[Join us on Discord] and/or [Support us on Patreon]

Got a burning question you want answered?

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter

Long questions: Ask a Game Dev on Tumblr

Frequent Questions: The FAQ

#continued development #content updates #how things work #player feedback #dealing with community

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jpitha · 11 months

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The Dreams of Hyacinth 13

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Jameson leaned his head back in his chair, stretching all the way back until the back of his head touched the top of the chair. There was a soft click, and he brought his head back forward, now with 10 hair thin wires flowing in to ports on the back of his neck. He looked over and saw Eastern and Nick staring. "I mean, why reinvent the wheel? The interface we have was basically refined almost a thousand years ago, why would we put a different one on cybernetically enhanced humans? Anyway." Jameson's eyes flashed blue and he started to work.

Nick, Eastern and Selkirk sat awkwardly in Jameson's office for five minutes or so before Kelly came in carrying a tray with a selection of drinks and snacks. "Jameson pinged me and asked me to bring this to you. He's sorry but he's stretched pretty thin right now, so he can't reply directly." They took some snacks and a drink and Kelly smiled and walked out.

Ten minutes later, there was a click and a speaker overhead activated. "Nick, Eastern, Selkirk. I'm sorry about leaving you in a lurch. We're going over the logs now. Why don't you move to the waiting room for a bit. The chairs are more comfortable there. You can't leave just yet; we're still on lockdown, but we can probably get something delivered if you get hungry."

They moved back to the waiting room. There wasn't much else to do, so Nick and Eastern started practicing thing that Queenie taught them while Selkirk read her pad. Nick and Eastern were practicing intrusion techniques on each other. They had placed a file in their augmented memory storage and took turns trying to take it. While they did that, the other would try and stop them. While they practiced Nick noticed a... presence? It felt like something was watching them. He reached out with his cybernetics and...

"Sorry, what are you doing? Why are you watching us?"

The presence starts. It did not expect to be noticed. "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize you could sense me. What are you doing?"

"Eastern and I are practicing intrusion techniques. I hold a file and she tries to steal it and then we switch roles."

"Smart! I wish more people would practice like that. Most of the time everyone just gets the strongest firewalls they can and assume that will save them."

"Everyone?"

"The other AIs. What's your name?"

"Oh, I'm not an AI, I'm a BI with a cybernetic suite installed. My name is Nick, this is my partner Eastern." Nick mentally nudges Eastern and she joins the conversation.

"Nick who is this?"

"I apologize, I've been terribly rude, I should introduce myself. My name is Robyn, I work with Jameson."

"So, you're an AI?"

"I am! I am currently... between bodies and Jameson doesn't own a ship right now so I just.." Nick and Eastern felt Robyn gesture a shrug "hang around and help out. Right now Jameson and I are going through his logs. He thinks he's been edited."

"Has he?"

"Looks like! We're trying to nail down when and then match it with the access logs to see who visited then. Say! Maybe you can help. What was the last job you did for Jameson?"

Nick sees the avatar of Eastern make a face. "He asked me to find the coffin box. There was supposed to be an AI inside it. He told me that it would be with Houndstooth R&D but didn't give us any more details. That's when I asked Selkirk and she recommended we reach out to Nick for him to boost the box."

"Okay! It looks like Jameson's memories were edited a little earlier than I had initially thought. Searching. Hmm. That's interesting. Come on Nick, Eastern, let's go talk to Jameson."

Nick and Eastern disconnected and stood. "Hey Sel, Robyn said she might have found something, let's go see Jameson."

Selkirk stood as well. "Robyn?"

"Another AI. She doesn't have a body. right now. She might work for Jameson?"

"Oh boy. Another AI." Selkirk's ears flick irritatedly as she walks with them.

When they reenter Jameson's office, he has disconnected and is looking at data on his pad. He looks up as Nick and the others walk in. "Oh, I was just about to call you. Please sit."

Nick nods. "We met Robyn. She said we should come in and discuss what you've found."

Jameson's brow furrows. "You met Robyn? I told her to keep a low profile.

"Jameson, they were practicing intrusion and anti-intrusion techniques. Nobody ever practices that. I had to ask them about it."

"They were?" Jameson looks at Nick and Eastern and raises an eyebrow. "Interesting. Most everyone just installs the firewalls and leaves it. But okay, since you're all here..." Jameson snaps his fingers and a goon comes in and hands a grey metal cylinder to Jameson and walks out. It's about 20 centimeters long and has a tab on the top."

Eastern gestures towards the cylinder. "What's that?"

"I'll show you. It was surprisingly hard to get." Jameson pulls the tab and the cylinder starts hissing, and a heavy black gas starts pouring out of the cylinder and flows around the floor.

Eastern, Nick and Selkirk lean back, startled. "Is it dangerous?"

Jameson shakes his head. "It's only dangerous if you're a Builder. It'll kill you if you are."

Nick watches the gas flow and pour around the floor, fascinated. "A Builder?"

Jameson waved his hand dismissively, "It's their term for the people who worked with Empress Melody. If they have a suite of nanomachines installed, they were called a Builder. Has to do with that old Starbase they dragged back here after we killed her, Reach of the Might of Vzzx is it's name, I think. This-" he gestures at the fog in the room "-is anti nanomachine gas. It overwrites their orders and makes them disassemble themselves. If you're a Builder, it kills you too. Builders have a massive concentration of nanomachines and they take over large parts of their bodily functions."

Eastern watches the gas too and then looks back up at Jameson. "But Jameson, Empress Melody was killed almost ten years ago."

He nods. "She was. But, it looks like we didn't get all the Builders. When Robyn and I looked at my logs, it looks like someone used their Voice on me."

Eastern blinked in surprise. "But that's an Empress thing. They made a huge deal about how nobody except Empress Melody could do that. Also, they said it didn't work on AIs."

Jameson raised a finger and started counting. "One, it doesn't work well on AIs. Get us in an area with high enough concentration of nanomachines and make the order generic enough and it works just fine. Two, from what I understand an Empress is the only one with the package to do the Voice. Doesn't have to be just Empress Melody."

Eastern's eyes went wide. "That means there's another Empress?"

Jameson sighed heavily and looked down at his pad. "Yes. That's what it looks like. And since my compatriots were idiots and went after her with an armada, this new Empress is being much more subtle and quieter."

Nick shook his head, disbelieving. "But Jameson, why would she come to Hyacinth? How would she come to Hyacinth?"

"Nick, we still have ships coming and going, and tourists coming to visit, it's not like we're locked down."

"That takes care of how. But why? Not only that, but why would she voice you, Jameson, about something so specific as to make up a daughter for you?"

Jameson looks embarrassed. "Remember when I said I had a spouse and they died during an attack on the Empress? That part was true. I did have a spouse and they did die. The part I didn't mention was that I was there too. I used to be a Frigate."

Nick looks at Eastern and then at Selkirk. "I mean, most AI's I've met were ships at once point or another, it's not that big of a deal." They both nod.

Jameson raises his eyebrow and clears his throat. "Ahem. Anyway. It feels like this new Empress is planning something. I have no idea what, though it seems like AIs and BIs are involved in equal measure.

"To what end?"

This time, Robyn's voice is heard over the speakers in the room. "I'm thinking they wanted to get more cybernetic humans. AI really are the only ones who know how to do the surgery these days, and it's 'officially' banned, so only dark doctors and organized crime has access to the technology. Jameson and I both think that the goal of the deception was... you."

"Me?"

"Well, you and Eastern. They want more humans that can operate starships maybe."

"But why?"

"How the fuck should we know, Nick? Go and ask her if you need to know that badly."

Eastern looks up at the speakers in the ceiling. "Okay then, what about Siobhan?"

"Maybe she works for the Empress."

Eastern purses her lips together and her brow flattens.

"I don't know. Ancestors Eastern, I just learned that I might have been Voiced by a heretofore unknown Empress and only found out because the story they made me tell you was so flimsy you couldn't even make a logical leap to a solution that let you accept the story." He disconnected and whirred around to where they were sitting. "Go and find Siobhan and ask her yourself." He smiled and snapped his fingers again. "Don't go unarmed though." A guard walked out carrying a heavy looking case. With a flourish he opened the case and three gleaming submachine guns were inside. "Here. Let's call it a... gift for our mutual misunderstanding."

Nick's eyes went wide at the weapons. Projectile weapons have been banned on High Mars Hyacinth since its creation. Guns were incredibly rare on the cylinder. He reached out to touch one and stopped. "But Jameson, we don't know how to use them."

"Oh that part's easy." He held out his hand. Nick took it and shook once. He again felt the tingle of keys being transferred. "There's some reflex software. You'll be an expert in no time. Give a copy to Eastern and Selkirk. She's got a soft connection with her coronet, but it should be enough to keep her from hurting herself." The guard snapped the case shut and flipped it over. He opened the back to show that there were 9 magazines - three each - and then closed that side and handed it to Nick. Nick took the case as if it was white hot and would burn him at any moment.

Kelly walked in with three leather - Nick smelled them as she walked by, they were real leather - holsters. "Here. These go around your shoulders and will keep the sub under your arm and out of the way. I even have one that's K'laxi sized for you Selkirk." Kelly showed them how to put on the holster, and after a moment the three of them were awkwardly sitting, wearing their new weapons.

"Ancestors Nick, Eastern, Selkirk, relax okay. Everyone will know you're strapped if you sit like that. Show them Jimmy."

The guard named Jimmy walked over and flopped into a chair, looking completely relaxed. He winked at them and flipped a side of his jacket open. He was wearing the same holster with a submachine gun inside.

Jameson nodded. "A gun is a tool friends. Nothing more, nothing less. It is a tool for killing, but it is still just a tool. A tool needs a wielder who uses the tool with knowledge, respect and skill." He wheeled back to his desk. "Go. Find this Siobhan, and see if you can learn what her deal is. Let me know what you find." He gestured at the guns. "Don't use them unless you have to, but now at least you have that option."

Nick stood. The gun hung heavy under his arm and made him feel unbalanced. "Thanks Jameson. I have one more question though. Why are you being so helpful? You could have just sent us on our way to muddle in the dark."

"You're right. I could have. But. You have been straight with me this whole time, and in our previous dealing too. Also, this Empress is trying to use me to her own ends. It's time that she learn that it's not so easy to own an AI. We know about that history and won't be having any of it." He waves his hand, dismissing them. "Be in touch, I won't bite." His eyes flash blue a quick moment. "Also, I refilled your expense account. Selkirk, nice work on tracking expenses, I don't see anything here questionable. In fact-" his eyes flash again "-I just gave you some more, call it a bonus. Treat yourselves."

The three of them walked out of Jameson's building, numb.

Finally, Nick spoke. "What was that?"

Eastern looks back at the building and then at the three of them. "I don't know Nick. Did we pick a side? Are we're working for the AIs against the new Empress.?"

"Is that what we want?" Selkirk looks down the road towards the square, and then back the other way. The alley is completely empty.

"Let's meet this new Empress first and then decide." Eastern starts walking towards the square. "Come one, we have a Hopper to catch. I want to find Siobhan and-" Eastern's gun flashes in the overhead lights "-ask some pointed questions."

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#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #sci fi writing #writing #humans and aliens #jpitha #the k’laxiverse #The Dreams of Hyacinth

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reallyhardy · 8 months

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PLAYTIME!

weird kind of a post but i just wanted to be nerdy about and highlight my summer position - while i'm a digital picture-draw-er most of the time and a bag sewist some of the time, for one little chunk of the year i'm a play facilitator at the whitworth art gallery and every august (where possible) - i'm not interested in having my own children but i love working with them and taking part in something enriching and educational and awesome. sooooo

since 2018 there's been a creative play session on for families every summer holiday. the first one ever was 'the sandpit one' where the learning engagement team turned our learning studio into this bigass sandpit - can be seen in the below video from 0:17 - 0:25:

youtube

and it was the beginning of a real shift in the gallery from like... 'make and take' arts and crafts and into creative play sessions (i joined as a volunteer juuust after the sandpit one so we always talk about it but i wasn't actually there for it.)

the next year instead of sand we did water - i was there for this one but i only facilitated a couple days of it. great fun we used a lot of the same things (beakers, sieves, ladles) to play, just in water instead of sand.

i wasn't involved in 'PLAYTIME AT HOME' during covid lockdowns but the theme was mud and i believe the learning engagement team set out ideas for how to play with the mud using stuff most people have at home:

youtube

and then another during 2021, this one's good it features annabel one of the artists here who is so much fun, i think she's the coolest. here she and lucy (the learning engagement co-ordinator) explain how it went down:

youtube

when we made it 2022 that's when i really came ON BOARD in a big way, and i got to be a play facilitator every day that we were on in something called our scrap studio - we had heaps of stuff from a place called the 'scrap centre' in leeds that rescues packaging material from manufacturing companies - and we had it all to built with and put together and play around in and it was SO much fun. my job all of last august was just to hang around and watch fun happen and it was just so, so mega. mega fun.

(for whatever reason they don't have the 2022 summer video on youtube booo but i do have a twitter link here)

and then THIS summer we're trying to link it up to the 'economics the blockbuster' exhibition currently on inside the gallery so we've got play markets and play 'currency'

youtube

and we're having kids make concoctions with our mud kitchens and it's been very cute and fun seeing them 'selling' them to their parents. and to me. it's just been a blast. i hope to just keep doing it forever. also i've been taking pics for my outfit every time and they all include this grey apron 🤣 but it's important it signifies that i'm in charge

#loren talks #Youtube #anyway into the third week now. two more after this. right on until the 31st

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thefisherqueen · 5 months

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I've caught covid for the first time, after somehow managing to avoid it for almost 4 years, and it thoroughly sucks. I'm far from the only one at the moment (I'm writing this on 8 december 2023) - testing fascilities are all done away with in the Netherlands so the view of the current situation I have is very limited, but I do know that numbers like virus load in our sewers and people in hospital with covid are rapidly going up right now once again.

I'm having a lot of thoughts about it all now, and even though they are far from coherent, I still would like to share them.

In the Netherlands, so far there's been a staggering lack of reflection on anything to do with corona. We have no official moment of rememberance, no monument, no time and place for collective grief. Research into long covid is severely underfunded. There's also been an astounding lack of evaluation into our pandamic response. I've only seen one report so far, and it had a limited scope, pretty much the only conclusion was that the goverment's strategy was 'too fixated on intensive care capacity'. If another new illness will emerge, which of course is only a matter of time, I believe we will make all the same mistakes again.

In summary, I just feel sad and kind of hopeless by it all. The lack of care for the lives of eldery and otherwise vulnerable people, and just for public health in general, displayed during the past years, and all for the sake of corporate interest and personal freedom, is staggering. It all started quite promising, back in March 2020, once it dawned on our government that COVID-19 was a serious illness and that immediate action was required. I myself had basically no knowledge on pandemics yet and the lockdown blew my mind. We were taking action to save lives. I remember feeling hopeful.

But pretty much from the moment we emerged from the first lockdown, our government has each time waited with taking measures until the last possible moment. In comparison to the rest of the world, response was not the worst (at least no outright corona denial or 'drink bleach' here), but it was not good either. The Dutch government basically went 'this is fine' meme until hospitals overflowed (long term health care facilites were barely even considered) and then they panicked, putting lockdowns into place again while those are only really meant as an emergency measure when all else fails. Coherent, preventive measures like testing, masks, clear information, ventilation, contact tracing and isolation were never properly put into place.

And now we've lost tens of thousands of lives prematurely, hospital patients with covid still vastly outnumber those with influenca even in bad years, many still report pandemic-related mental health issues, and an estimated 90.000 people in the Netherlands currently have long covid, including a good friend of me.

I feel like all were in a traumatic event that isn't even over yet, and we're barely even talking about the impact, and the next one will inevitably come and likely just be as bad. It's just a lot.

#corona #pandemic #covid #personal #rambling thoughts #feels good to get this off my chest #covid19 #I'll be fine I hope #netherlands #europe #dutch things

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twopoppies · 10 months

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Not so anon bus tour anon hey hey! On the whole venues thing - the post COVID resurrection of live music caused a MASSIVE drama in the booking of venues and tentatively I think we're only starting to come to the end of some of the weirdest venue bookings I've experienced.

Immediately after lockdowns when large gatherings were allowed we had tours jumping all over the place, I actually worked out my mileage for a tour I worked and it was double that of a similar tour I'd worked previously. Then, we've had the venue drama, venues are booking up way farther in advance than ever before to try and clear the backlog of cancelled and reschedule dates.

Now, Louis' team may have had another smaller venue in mind where every seat could be sold but with the nature of the mass bookings, it's likely only bigger venues were available and vice versa. In doing so, they only sell the portion they think they can reasonably do and most likely at a high cost to them as they won't have butts in seats in the whole venue. That being said, if they get unexpected demand at one of these venues they have the capacity to release more tickets. My current job, I've been working in venues of all shapes and sizes and it's very inconsistent (we have a minimum size due to the set but it's still been wild) that being said, my next few jobs seem to be a tad more stable so I think the next few years we should see a return to tours as we knew them pre COVID.

Now forget all of that, you only need something like 80% of tickets sold for it to be considered a sellout venue & if that happens, quite often you'll get a 2nd show added that's advertised like DUE TO EXTREME DEMAND or whatever and that drives more sales fully selling the first and on a technicality selling out the 2nd!

Bear in mind, this is just my experience over the last few years and seeing my schedule start to come through for the next year, AND might not be at all what has happened for the FITF tour but it's become common as the industry continues to recover from COVID!

Hi sugar. Thanks for all of this. That’s such interesting background info. I’d imagine all of that really does play into what’s going on with Louis’ venues.

#fitf sioux falls #touring #touring industry #bus tour anon

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siphersaysstuff · 1 year

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TFWIKI Pics Jan 2023: Grab Bag!

January's Patreon-backed @tfwiki toy picture theme is... three themes. There were a bunch of holes I kinda wanted to fill but none of them were really big enough for their own full update, so like, hey. Mix 'em up.

First we have the second round of Beast Wars "Fox Kids!" redecoes, released in 2000 alongside the new Beast Machines toys. The BW show's recent move to the Fox Kids cartoon block really boosted demand for more Transformers product, and Hasbro could only stuff so much into Machines, so Wars got extended another year with these and the Mutants. 1) Transmetal Airazor 2) Transmetal Rattrap 3) Transmetal Rhinox 4) Transmetal Waspinator

Next is a very loose theme of real car models in red. Yeah. Look, I wanted to get new pics of two of these anyway (the first and last) and found two more toys that needed new pics that matched the vague pattern.

Binaltech Meister Velocity Red Mica Edition" is perhaps better known as "Zoom-Zoom", a spare body for Binaltech Jazz equipped with an AI that Jazz is teaching to dance. I love Zoom-Zoom and he should become the new default Jazz-mold redeco.

Kiss Players Hot Rodimus is a redeco of Alternators Mirage, with some added accessories. Not just the figurine of human partner Shaoshao Li, but a 4-part fishing rod that reassembles into an arm-mounted gun like the original Hot Rod's arm-pipe-guns. But it's not very good, it doesn't clip on, just kinda grips.

Alternators Rumble is part of the final wave of Alternators toys, relegated to Walmart exclusivity. He's weird. He's simpler than most Alternators, he doesn't have normal arms, and the spring-loaded piledrivers are all wobbly once deployed. Also, no Takara release.

And then there's Universe Swerve, whose release story is a DOOZY but the short of it is, Chevy commissioned Hasbro/Takara to make an original Chevy Aveo TF mold to use as giveaways at malls and whatnot in 2007, part of the whole movie marketing thing Chevy/Paramount had going on. Which means this mold can NEVER be restored and used again. It's a truly unique piece that I'm super-happy to have.

And we're wrapping up with some pieces from Takara's 2010 Animated line. Said line is most famous for dousing the main cast in super-shiny metallic paint, but most of the toys only got a bit of it. Oil Slick only got bright green paint on his gauntlets and legs, while Blazing Lockdown just got metallic pale-gold flames instead of the Hasbro version's more cartoony yellow-gold.

Optimus Prime Clear Red Ver. is a Toys"R"Us exclusive redeco of the Legends-class Optimus. It's one of Takara's many many many many store promotional items, where you got it free with qualifying purchases on specific dates in specific stores. In this case, 3000 yen's worth of Animated product at TRU, presumably on the first weekend of the toyline's release (haven't found the exact date yet).

Prowl Elite Guard Ver. was exclusive to the 2010 Tokyo Toy Show, which ran from July 15th through the 18th. It's currently unknown what the production run on this one was.

If you like these pictural perusals through Transformers history, why not toss a coin to your pic'er at my Patreon, "gregstfwikipics"? This helps get even more pics out and can even let you pick a theme!

#transformers #transformers generation one #optimus prime #alternators #binaltech #tfwiki #transformers animated #beast wars #beast wars transformers #transmetals #airazor #rattrap #rhinox #waspinator #hot rod #rodimus

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dgcatanisiri · 1 year

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Discovery ending with this next season frustrates me, because I feel like it's got so much more it can do - this final season is going to be the chance to really explore the 32nd century, now that the big events of the Burn and reuniting the Federation are pretty much wrapped up. Discovery is able to really explore the strange new world of Star Trek's far future... And we're about to wrap it up?

Plus there's the fact that we're only getting two seasons of Captain Michael Burnham, which definitely disappoints me, because sure, the whole series has been about her growth and development from fallen first officer to redeemed captain, but I still feel like there's so much more we can see with her, to say nothing of the other characters, several of whom I feel like haven't even really gotten to know.

Or the fact that, while Discovery has lasted for more seasons than TOS and Enterprise, it's still going to end with fewer episodes than either, while I grew up on TNG, DS9, and Voyager, shows that got seven seasons of roughly twenty-six episodes per, and ended like one season shy of a 200 episode mark.

It feels to me like (as in "I have no evidence for this and am basing this idea solely on vibes, so I understand entirely that I may be completely wrong in assuming this") this isn't a natural ending for the series but a dictate from on high in response to the fan demand for other ideas for Trek series - pre-pandemic, the Georgiou-focused 31 spinoff was announced, expected to go into development after Discovery Season 3 finished. But then the pandemic hit, and, partway through lockdown, Paramount looked at the fan demands for a Pike's Enterprise-centered spinoff, and greenlit that, pushing Georgiou's series to the backburner, because that made five Trek series in active production (Discovery, Picard, Lower Decks, Prodigy, and SNW), and they didn't want to risk franchise fatigue through having too many shows in active development.

And as a result of that, Michelle Yeoh has been taking other offers, seen her star rise further, so Paramount probably wants to be able to have her headline a series (remember how Genevieve Bujold was initially Voyager's captain because UPN wanted a lead actor with award(s) backing their name?). So now, Paramount wants to push the series centered on Michelle Yeoh and her character. And, hey, Star Trek Picard is wrapped up, it's in its final season, it's perfect to take that open slot in development.

EXCEPT... The fans are clamoring right now not for the 31 series, but to give Seven a series. To do something more with Starfleet and the 25th century. To continue the world of Trek that was foundational for a generation with TNG, DS9, and Voyager (not to discount Enterprise, of course, but it was set in a different era). And with Lower Decks and Prodigy being animated, having a longer development period, they're basically on a different schedule than the live action shows, so something had to give. The studio wants one thing, the fans want another, and the producers of Trek decide that they are going to try to make both satisfied. With SNW even existing because of fan demand, it was safe, and Discovery, the flagship of the current era of Trek, was the one on the chopping block.

This is a pure speculation on my part, so I could be completely and entirely wrong. But this is what FEELS like is going on.

And it sucks, because Discovery has found its stride, and, even if you want to say that it continually doing these massive scale season long stories has gotten tired, that doesn't mean it was ready to be put out to pasture. Just that there might need to be some lower stakes in the series - my theory for season four, in the wake of the third season, I speculated that the season could be centered on more standalone style episodes with the overarching story of reuniting the Federation.

Now, maybe I'm wrong - maybe what they're going to do is scatter Discovery's crew some so that the characters less utilized get a starring role in a spinoff and I've got their game plan entirely wrong. I mean, my crystal ball is perpetually cloudy, so it could be I've got the wrong idea completely, and this is a natural ending point for the series. I do not know.

But I do know that I feel very much like Discovery could have sustained several more seasons, not just this last one.

EDIT: Pointed out elsewhere, this may just overall be a side effect of streaming contracts overall, the entire era of television we're in, that just getting five seasons is a sign of success of the series in the first place, given how many shows get cancelled one or two seasons in. which... Fair. Makes sense. Don't attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence/corporate dictates.

Still. I don't necessarily feel like that discounts my vibes on the matter, either - it could be that they were willing to wrap Discovery here and not push back like they would have at other points in the series' production BECAUSE they had multiple alternatives to bring to the forefront of other Trek series.

Of course, I could just be saying this as a grumpy Trek fan who is totally down for enough Trek to exist to have an entire network based JUST around airing different Trek series 24/7, so I WANT to have fifty series of three hundred episodes a pop, want more of every Trek series regardless.

#dg rambles

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90363462 · 1 year

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Shutterstock

Little Questions That Improve Emotional Intimacy In A Big Way

"Emotional connection is how we build intimacy."

Kiarra Sylvester

Jan. 08, 2021 04:57PM EST

If you're the least bit wise, one of the first things you've learned about life is this: not all things that glitter are gold. And, because that phrase is applicable to virtually anything, let me be specific. In this case, I mean, you're sitting (stuck even) in the house with your significant other in the midst of a pandemic and boom, you realize you don't know them as well as you might have thought sans lockdown. This could be for many reasons but in my expert opinion and observation, it comes to the over-pouring into one type of intimacy while not necessarily honing in on others (which absolutely matter).

While some couples ignore sexual compatibility, others are missing financial intimacy or the type of intimacy that is built on non-sexual communication. There are several types of intimacy and it's very rare that couples are well-versed in all of them—we're human, after all. Perhaps you're placing too much weight on sexual intimacy, which can definitely build intimacy but it's similar to when we're locking our thumbprint into our iPhone — it can only span over so much before you have to lift and replace your thumb on another area to ensure you've covered all your grounds.

But, what I'm here to tell you is that by improving your emotional connection and learning to build emotional intimacy in your relationship as a whole, there will be a trickle effect that occurs in the other areas of your relationship. (Might even unlock next-level sex). So I spoke with one of my faves, Shadeen Francis, licensed sex and relationship therapist, for her thoughts on improving emotional connection in our romantic partnerships.

She wasted no time expounding on the need for emotional connections in our partnership emphasizing the magnitude of knowing someone deeply. She shared, "Emotional connection is how we build intimacy. Intimacy is the deep knowing of one another, not just things about them, like that they don't like onions, but their actual experience in the world, such as it makes them anxious to travel alone. Rather than the belief that we are supposed to be able to predict or interpret one another's feelings, we learn about each other over time."

"Emotional connection is how we build intimacy. Rather than the belief that we are supposed to be able to predict or interpret one another's feelings, we learn about each other over time."

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Many of us are under the impression that millennials have a disconnect when it comes dating, one that makes us insensitive to the opposite sex. Whether that's true or not, I won't confirm...at least not today but what I will say is that fixing the disconnect will require an entire generation to come together for community building that further explores the current dynamics of Black love. It seems that the more independent we grown — as we reform gender roles — we have lost our ability or incentive to be vulnerable, in my opinion. But according to Francis, vulnerability is a necessary climb but a difficult one for most of us. "Emotional connection requires emotional vulnerability, the regular sharing of emotions. That can feel really hard when we are feeling hurt or afraid. To tell someone 'I am feeling sad' or 'I am feeling scared' is to essentially give them a clear roadmap into your heart. We might not have had the permission, guidance, or the safety to do that in our families, friendships, or past relationships, but it is a necessary practice in relationships."

She continued, "A sign that [this] might be missing [is] if you notice yourself being unwilling to confide in one another, defensiveness, conflict avoidance, or consistently feeling misunderstood." Though, so much of the work does and will occur in your relationships directly. I must add that getting to the healthier version of what our grandparents had (that seems to always be the comparison) — a love that endures all but without so much of the hurt that they suffered due to unspoken trauma (generational and otherwise) — will require vulnerability on a larger scale in addition to doing the work in our individual relationships.

"To tell someone 'I am feeling sad' or 'I am feeling scared' is to essentially give them a clear roadmap into your heart. We might not have had the permission, guidance, or the safety to do that in our families, friendships, or past relationships, but it is a necessary practice in relationships."

Maybe you read this and know immediately that, when it comes to emotional intimacy, you and your boo are lacking. Or maybe you don't feel like that area doesn't need work at all. Either way I'd say there's always room for improvement. We're always evolving individually and in our relationships, thus there's always more intimacy to unpack — things to learn and unlearn — and when you think about it, that's the fun part about partnership. The ebbs and flows.

That said, Francis recommends asking these questions to improve the emotional connection and intimacy:

How are you feeling? (Invite them to use an emotion word, like angry, surprised, sad - "aight", "good", "fine", and "some type of way" are not feelings!)

What do you wish I knew about you?

When you are feeling _____________, what can I do to help you feel better?

What's a favorite memory we've shared so far? How can we create some of that feeling again?

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She further suggests that you make it a game if it feels a bit odd or "challenging to initiate emotional conversation," adding that "there are a number of card decks and conversation cards that are designed to promote intimate conversation. Pick one that feels like a good fit and set aside some time, maybe over dinner or on a date night, to go through them. Or pull one card each day. Let your partner know it's not a test, you just want to get to know them better."

Additionally, you can check out Pinterest for more activities to help build emotional intimacy. Lastly, because I know society has a habit of asking Black men and women to stay "strong" all the same and yet differently, I inquired about how this intimacy homework and the questions provided might change based on gender...just to be on the safe side. But truly, Francis' response was the perfect f*ck you to the white supremacy that has especially left Black men feeling less than for participating in the human experience that is emotion.

"Society socializes men to disengage from their emotions, but having feelings isn't 'feminine.' Emotions have no gender. Everyone has emotions, they are necessary parts of our survival as they make it clear what we are experiencing."

Love seems sparkly and it definitely has its moments, but much like self-love, the real stuff lies in the ongoing buffering and polishing to ensure that it's not just good lighting reflecting off that jawn. Taking the time to reflect, both actively and retroactively, then initiating change through efforts such as this — well, that's how you truly get to live life in love and … golden (the sparkly stuff too).

Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!

Featured image by Shutterstock

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52 Questions to Bring You Closer Together - Lemonade Blog ›

10 Questions to Ask Your Spouse to Grow Your Emotional Connection ›

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pinkandgreenarepurpleandyellow · 2 years

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WIP WIP WIP WIP!

Early Concept

Some doodles/mockups

Current progress and some details.

My major plan for the moment is to find my brown markers (seriously, how do those things keep disappearing) and figure out what my background for the teeth/grin is gonna look like.

Ngl, I'm really proud of this one! kinda annoyed that the 1 in 2013 is a little too close to the 0, but I think I did some nice work on the nectars and blood splatters. (More details/breakdown below cut).

Escape From Furnace was one of the first books that I was super-passionate about, even though I wasn't online for the first while. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of stuff I loved and wanted to do bigger deep-dives into, but it was a kinda interesting perspective for me since I'm Jewish and the main villain is, y'know, a fucking Nazi.

It's kind of a weird feeling where on the one hand, watching the fandom was what actually shoved me online and on to Tumblr. Otoh, the obsession w/Warden Cross was kinda creepy to me, and it felt like almost everyone conveniently pushed to the side that he wasn't just a Nazi in the past, but kept up the ideals, modeled a prison on them, and constantly talks about "superior races" and "wiping out the inferior scum" and such.

Seeing the rest of the fandom, especially the headcanon that Zee is Jewish, resonated a lot more, and kept my head on this vague idea of breaking down how much that would change the narrative of the story (consider that Zee is the only person we know for sure is immune to the nectar, add that the version of nectar used in the Furnace is Cross's variation, multiply by how both Cross and nectarized Alex talk about Zee in Death Sentence and Fugitives. There's also the whole 'blondes w/blue eyes who keep responding esp well to the nectar' shtick with Alex and Gary).

So this idea's been rattling around in my head for a while, obviously! I initially wanted to do two triangles with the three circles, superimposing an upside version of the Furnace's logo over itself to create the Star of David, but it looked kind of weird so I might come back to it later. For now, each triangle has it's own mini-scene or element starring. breakdown, top to bottom, left to right:

I initially wanted to draw the dog's face/jaws but it just wouldn't look right no matter what I did. It was switched out for the three different nectar strains we see in canon: The silver syringe full of Cross's blend, the berserker blood with specs of red, and the mostly black that's running through the tubes connecting Alfred Furnace to the machine.

Teeth: I'm honestly not quite sure where I'm going with this in the final draft, but teeth stick out to me throughout the book as one of those details we get to see characters more clearly. Donovan's smile, Kevin missing two front teeth, the berserkers, Bodie's grin, Cross's teeth like crooked tombstones, y'all get my point. But yeah, teeth.

Hands: Donovan's hand (bathed in gold, currently yellow because I don't have any gold markers rn), and Alex's reaching out to Donovan. The big scene, but also all of the smaller ones that came earlier, like in Lockdown.

Prison bars: There's something that sticks in my head about the bars and all of the numbers used, for the inmates and the cells and the three chipping rooms and the blacksuits and how I imagine at some point, you only remember yourself as a number. I'd hope that with his memories back, Alex wouldn't forget his name, but I'd argue that 2013834 (inmate number) still holds better memories than 208 (blacksuit number).

Eye: Another big motif. So many blue eyes, so many silver ones. I've kinda been sticking to only 4 colors for all of these except the panel with the hands, we're doing something with emotions and colors and the way the Furnace saps all hope here. Again, can't quite decide on a background yet.

Gas mask: A rough redraw of the one in Lockdown, the very first book of the series and, again, that little connection of Zee with the idea of him being Jewish and the canon detail that he would have been made into a wheezer if not for Cross.

The center: Their motto is nine words, two phrases. It looks somewhat awkward, but I think it works.

So yeah. I'm planning on finishing the colors and then seeing if I can figure out how to turn this into a patch on fabric or embroidery or something, but this is one of my favorite concepts and I'm glad I can finally bring it to life!

#escape from furnace #eff #eff this #zee hatcher #jewish tag #to clarify:#this isn't 'book is bad' it's 'wow do some of the plot themes change when we add this idea of zee being jewish'#and I'm fascinated by it #honestly I'd argue for all of it's flaws the series handled the concept decently well #didn't go into full detail but also didn't quite hand-wave it #and panetierre kinda tied it up nicely I think #but yeah baby I'm very proud of this #I wanna say I first saw the hc on soledadcatalina's blog but idk if that's where it began

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thatstormygeek · 10 days

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Adults have this tendency to assume a sort of bubble surrounds kids and school and the like. Teens are unaffected by the world around them and the behavior they witness from the adults in their lives unless said adults specifically decide they are being affected (say, if there's a book in the library that has a mention that gay people might exist).

Article after article comes out talking about the increase in violence or mental illness "post pandemic" and often either hints at or outright states that "lockdowns" are the cause.

Look. Around. Y'all.

The former president (and current Republican nominee for president again) is currently on trial for felony election interference. He has been convicted of sexually assaulting a woman and then twice convicted of defaming that same woman. Another case is ongoing about classified documents he took with him when he left office.

None of that even touches on his constant vocal awfulness about all kinds of people. He's openly racist and xenophobic about immigrants. He's openly racist and xenophobic about American citizens who have names that don't sound "white" enough. It goes without saying that he's about as misogynistic as a person can be. He's mocks people with disabilities. He's just...gross. He exhibits the vast majority (if not all) of the behaviors we try to teach our kids are wrong.

And this is Missouri. So a whole bunch of these kids' parents support him. And his clones that have infested the GOP. Hell, our House Speaker here has been facing an ethics probe and has been accused of obstructing the investigation. It's trash all the way down.

What the fuck do you think you are teaching your kids when you excuse or overlook this shit in public officials? I can't imagine why we're seeing an increase in violence and behavioral problems when a hell of a lot of adults seem perfectly okay with toddler tantrum behavior when it comes from their cult leader.

And that is just one - ONE - facet of the bullshit. You may not think so, but your kids hear you stressing about money. They are able to notice that jobs suck and don't pay shit and expect a hell of a lot out of the people who make the least. They witness your negative attitudes, about how this type of person or that type of person is why things are so bad for your family. Your shitty Caitlin Jenner jokes are absorbed into the toxic stew of bigotry you've been seasoning here and there, though you probably tell yourself you're always careful not to say anything outright horrible when they are around.

Ultimately, children are fucking people and exist in the same world we do. You will never understand all the things your kids witness and think and theorize, what they accept and reject as they learn and grow. Everyone's perspective is their own.

The idea that you are somehow protecting them by removing books and locking down internet sites and keeping drag queens out of libraries while simultaneously pouring poison into their ears would be laughable if it weren't so fucking tragic.

#this is my brain on life #trashpool says fuck this shit #children are people #parents are people too #elders of the interwebs #elder queers #midwestern queers #missouri

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clovexei · 6 months

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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

AHHH I haven't seen chain-mail like this in forever, thank you for the flashback and the reminder to cultivate mental happy space!

1. D&D! We're ending our third campaign this week after 2.5 years of these characters, and it's been hard not to get emotional about it. We started this campaign in the middle of COVID lockdown, and it's been wild how much life has changed for all of us since then. I love that I've been able to play with this group for the last, like, SIX?? years and we all mesh so well as a group and we're all wrapping up this story together even as we plan for a new adventure. It's such a lovely time and I'm very happy I found them.

2. The Lord of the Rings! My step-mom caught the LotR bug, so we've been crying on our Sunday night calls about how perfect Samwise Gamgee is, and my dad always is so excited to share LotR film trivia, and the LotR brainworms are back, babyyyyy. There's something so comforting about leaning on such a familiar story these days--especially one that emphasizes the importance of small acts of goodness in times of utter darkness.

3. My new coworkers! They're weird and queer and delightfully funny. They asked if I'd gotten my hissing cockroaches yet, and when I said no because I was going on vacation for two weeks and didn't want them to die while I was gone, they told me to bring them to work as library pets and got VERY EXCITED about the prospect of library cockroaches. BLESS THEM.

4. Cat-Like Tread from The Pirates of Penzance! Every once in a while, I discover a song I like and then I listen to it and nothing else on repeat constantly for the next 20 days or until I finally mellow out about it. The chorus on this one and the energetic choreography are just SO DELIGHTFUL that I'm still stuck on it. Whenever I have to do a lot of writing at work, I put my headphones on and play it on a loop in the background for two hours.

5. Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom! I haven't been able to play it much recently, and I'm dreading the temple I'm at currently, but I love collecting plants and catching bugs and getting Link new little outfits. I also love yeeting myself off cliffs, running into combat with a stick welded to another stick, and scrambling through ponds to catch fish with my bare hands. This is the Barbie Horse Adventure/Bear Grylls combo experience of my heart.

#THANK YOU FOR THE TAG KAM!!!#these make me happy I'd forgotten how much I missed them

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thisiswhathappenswhenimbored · 10 months

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i know we don't talk or seem like we used to, but i always thought it was obvious that i miss you.

When was the last time you got more then eight hours of sleep? the past few days, thankfully. i have a concussion & my husband is away for work so my kids have been really helping out by allowing me to not fall all over the place trying to make them food.

Do you find that people don't really understand you? sometimes? i'm really kind of awkward & weird. Is there anyone in your life that you wish you were closer to? no? i don't really get a choice in where i live for a few more years at least, so i'm enjoying my experience while i can. also if i'm not emotionally close with you there's probably a reason.

Would you say you are a gullible person? sometimes.

Are you one to swear often? oh i definitely swear a lot.

Have you ever sat down and played video games all day? when i was pregnant with my oldest my husband & i literally ate salt & vinegar chips & mcdoubles & played kingdom hearts for like a week straight.

What is one thing in your life that is no longer there, that you miss? freedom to just do what i wanted when i wanted.

What do you believe is the best thing about being a kid? not having the enormous responsibilities of an adult. like paying bills & meal planning.

What flavor Dum-Dum is your favorite? i'm not really sure.

What is the last book you read/are reading? Did you/are you enjoying it? the last book i read was how do dinosaurs say merry christmas. it was definitely cute & a good bedtime story for my daughter.

Are you on a laptop or a desktop right now? laptop.

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go; why? i'm not sure. i've always dreamed of going to japan & here i am living in japan. my time here is coming to an end soon though however i get to cross another place off my bucket list since we're moving to honolulu.

Have you ever trusted someone you wish you wouldn't have? 100% yes. i feel like you're inherently supposed to be able to trust your parents though, or the people that are supposed to be your guardians & protectors. that didn't work out too well for me.

Have you ever been on a picnic? my daughters & i frequently had picnics during covid lockdown.

Which is better tea or coffee? coffee although there's nothing wrong with a good cup of tea every once in a while especially when you're sick

Do you own an umbrella? i live in a country with a rainy season, i own like ten umbrellas.

Do you like the ocean? yes.

Is there anyone that you wish you were with right now? my husband.

Who was the last person you hung out with? my kids. & my friends that i met on the plane on the way over here.

What animal cracker is your favorite? i don't know.

Is there anything you're currently holding back? yeah, i would love to not move again. i would love to not have to get a job. i would love to be able to settle down. i would love another baby. there's a lot.

Do you like your smile? sometimes.

Have you ever watched something on the TV that truly disturbed you? eh? the news is pretty disturbing sometimes.

Are you scared of needles? sometimes, not always.

Is your current cell phone out of date? i have a google pixel 7 so it's fairly new.

Have you ever drank milk when it was spoiled? no. i don't really drink milk all that often either.

Would you/have you ever bought a gym membership? i have before. i didn't really use it often & now that we live on a military base i just use the gym here.

Have you ever bought anything on the TV? no.

Have you ever done something that you knew was wrong? hasn't everyone at some point in their life?

Do you know what all the keys on your keyboard do? no.

What is the last channel you were on, when watching TV? i don't have cable.

What is your favorite restaurant? i'm not sure i have a definitive favorite.

What is the last thing you spent money on? an iced coffee from dunkin donuts & nail polish remover.

Do you know of anyone who hates you? there's probably someone out there somewhere but i don't really care.

Lose your arm or your leg; Which do you choose? if i had to? probably my leg.

Has an animal ever bit you? yes. i have a scar on my hand from a parrot biting me. & i used to have snakes when i was younger & they bit me plenty

Have you ever tripped over your own feet? all the time.

Do you ever take out the garbage? yeah.

Do wash your face thoroughly everyday? not everyday.

Would you ever do a ride along with a cop? yes, i would actually love to.

Are things, in your opinion, overly expensive these days? i live on an island where a lot of stuff is imported so i'm not sure i'm the best person to answer this question.

Where was your last car ride to? to the airport in november.

Are your nails long? they're the longest my natural nails have ever been.

Have you ever gotten food poisoning? yes, it was horrible.

Have you ever had to put a dog to sleep? no.

What messenger services do you use? facebook & whatsapp

Have you ever lost someone important to you? yes.

Are you listening to music currently? no

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