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letsgetgoingnow · 5 years

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A letter to my 2018 self:

2018 was a rollercoaster year for you. You experienced so many things in such a short period of time. You experienced so much heartbreak but also so much joy. The obstacles that were presented to you were challenging and you had to use all your strength to overcome them and your are still dealing with the repercussions from some, But you did it! You made it through this hell of a year.

Your year started off with coming out. You’ve always known you liked girls but coming out to your friends and family was a big step, but it was absolutely the right decision. You’ve grown so much in the past year being your true authentic self. You’ve opened your heart and arms to so many people and experiences. You’ve been shown love and support by so many people in so many different ways. You’ve been able to be comfortable in your own skin, you went to your first pride parade and you met the love of your life.

You experienced one of the biggest heartbreak of your life this year. She broke you in so many ways, ways that still hurt. You put so much effort, time and money into that relationship and she took everything with her when she broke up with you. She was your first girlfriend and you learned so much from her. You learned how to love and how to be loved, You learned patience and communication, you learned how to be in a same sex relationship. But you also learned a lot of negatives. You learned your worth. You learned how to not treat people by the way you were treated. You learned what being used felt like. You learned that communication is the biggest thing in a relationship, even if some things you say hurt. That heartbreak fucking hurt, but it made you grow stronger in so many ways, ways that you can now bring into your current relationship to make it healthier and stronger. You learned how to not break up with someone. She fucking destroyed you when she did what she did. You learned that even when you fall out of love for someone they still deserve respect in heartbreak. That relationship was toxic in every way.

Even though you experienced one of your toughest breakups, it ended up being the best thing that’s ever happened to you. You met the girl of your dreams. It was fate. I always believed that when one door closes another door opens, and boy was that ever right! I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and that in the face of hardship, good things will eventually come. When you first met her, she took your breath away. And she still does. She opened your eyes to so many things. She showed you compassion, kindness and passion. One day at a time she healed your broken heart. She loves you for your strengths and your weaknesses. Your relationship hasn’t been without hardships though. You’ve had to go through more then some couples have to go through their entire life. It hasn’t been easy. 2018 brought many tears and a lot of pain, loss, heartbreak and frustration, but you guys made it. And look how strong you are. Each challenge, each hardship, you’ve been able to come through to the other side, a stronger couple. You’re moving in with her in a month. You think about seeing her one day in a white dress. You think about her being the mother of your children. I am so so excited to be in this relationship and see how we grow through it. You are so smitten in love and she has stood by your side through so much.

This year hasn’t been a good year health wise. You’ve had to deal with so much pain and sickness. It’s been frustrating not having answers. It’s been frustrating not being able to eat. It’s been frustrating losing a scary amount of weight. It’s been frustrating having a couple good days, thinking things were back to normal, only for it to come back again. So many mornings sitting on the bathroom floor, so many cancelled plans because you were feeling sick, so many tears from pain and frustration. Things finally seem to be manageable but this year will always be the year I felt like an alien in my own body. It’s opened my eyes. My good days I don’t take for granted anymore. My health and fitness is a gift. Feeling totally at the mercy of my health made me want to rise above it and push myself farther then I have before. You took your good days and you ran with it. You spent hours running, training not at the gym. You made goals for racing and you CRUSHED THEM. You completed your first Trifecta, a challenge you never believed you never believed you would succeed in. You qualified for OCR National and World championships. You qualified for Spartan North American and World championships. You took your health troubles, slapped them in the face and told them; you can’t control me. I’m in control of me. It’s been a rollercoaster for sure, but you were able to still reach all your goals.

2018 wasn’t easy. But it taught you so so so much about yourself. I am so proud of you. You’ve had so much growth this year. You’ve gained so much through so much pain.

2019 is the start of a new chapter of your life. My goals this year;

-More self love.

-Continue to focus on your fitness.

-Grow and focus on your relationships with others.

-Write and read often.

Bring it on 2019!

#myposts

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fika-wika · 3 years

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👨‍👩‍👧‍👦A Parents Roll🏠🤔

My oh my I’m not a parent yet but I definitely got some inner standing to drop on this topic. The question that was asked is "Do we own our parents?". Tell me, Who's decision was it to have the baby? Who's decision was it to raise the baby?

If you ask me, kids Should not owe their parents anything unless they are 18 and asking for money..they better pay it back because that kid is old enough to get a job at this point, ill actually touch on that later. But first NO, if you have a child it is NOT their job to pay back everything you have/still do for them. YOU as the adult made the choice to bring them INTO the world (No that does not mean you have the right to take them out either😑 sorry life isn’t THAT fair) so you made it YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to nurture that child, to provide for them, to GUIDE them, to insure they're lives can be lived happier than the one you are currently living. That is not the burden, but the Blessing of being a parent. When you made the decision to push that baby out her tummy you made a pack to honor the blessing of making sure the next generation makes It, SELFLESSLY.

I’m also someone who doesn't believe it's our job to FORCE our opinions on our children as well. Yes discipline them right from wrong, but part of being understanding is knowing that they will grow into their own person, understand that who they become is a reflection of what YOU have shown them at an early age. How they act, how they respond is all apart of you as the parent and the environment you held them in. Learning to be UNDERSTANDING of our children as reflection of ourselves through the decisions we have or could have made will make such a big difference in your personal relationship with your child. Parents get into it with their children yes that’s normal with any kind of relationship at some point in time, but what I feel as parents we could do better is instead of getting so upset at them for something they are seemingly doing wrong or for the way the are choosing to respond to us. Why not first take a step back and handle the situation in a reflective way? Change your perspective and instead of asking them, FIRST ask yourself “where did this attitude of theirs come from? What initially sparked this emotional response in them? Can it be traced back to me or someone else in my family? How did it affect them and how do they handle this emotional response?” THEN decide how you move forward in responding to THEIR emotional response rather than expect them to understand and respond to yours first. I believe the best teacher for our children is to teach with our examples THEN our words, If they saw and we communicate how we reflected on an emotional response before choosing to act impulsively to someone else or their own responses, they would then learn that maybe that’s the right way to handle the situation first. Then maybe, just maybe we can result in talking about the issues and whats really causing them, before jumping to pulling out the belt and whooping some A--. But don’t get me wrong, sometimes that belt might be necessary, but necessary or not, the only thing that is 100% necessary, is learning/ teaching them how to reflect and communicate before resulting in an impulsive action, this will result in less mistakes made as they get older. I feel instead of expecting our children to understand us as people, first we should make it a priority to want to be apart of their personal lives and get to know them as a person and in doing so will they be more open to wanting to share and be closer with us as they see we wanted to with them from an early age. Its harder to do this as they get older if you haven’t done so at an early age, notice I didn’t say impossible. It will take more time through trial and error to adjust and transform any relationship that functions one way, into a newer, healthier way. This lessons actually works for even older people and the relationships we cultivate now even outside the home. To get to know someone the best way to proceed is by first opening yourself up to them and showing them who you are first. Then they are more willing and trusting of sooner or later sharing themselves with you.

I herd a mentor of mine I like to listen to named HINDZ, you can check out his podcast on youtube and spotify but he talked about how we can't fully control what our kids choose to indulge their time into forever, especially as they get older. Like you can't keep them away from technology, it's everywhere these days. So instead of trying to ban it from their lives which could result in even more rebellion growing up as we shouldn’t keep trying to put walls in front of them, why not give them that freedom to explore and be curious? Why not teach them how to use it in a responsible and disciplined way that can add value to their time while on it? Another thing he talked about was if my daughter is playing roblox on her tablet, I feel as a parent it would be smarter to go to her and ask about what's she's playing and take the initiative to join her world rather than trying to get her to fully understand mine right now. The result? She will come to me about how she's doing this and that in her game with joy and It'll make her as a child more open in WANTING to engage and share with her parents what it is she does on her devices, rather than hide it away as if I'm not interested in being apart of her world or that I'm unable to understand it. When as parents, we should want to be apart of their world, their growth. I myself have found this especially true as well just from watching my younger brother. He’s 7 now and every time I go over to visit my family he’s so quick to ask me if I wanna play some game with him, or watch some show with him and that’s because I always do my best to show him that I am interested in his world and what makes his life enjoyable right now. I’m sure yes the whole being stuck in home all day also plays a part because he doesn’t get to go out and make friends anymore like before, but that just makes it ALL the more important we be willing to give our children the sense of friendship and common interests. No need to fill him in on my life unless he asks of course, I’m an adult and he doesn’t really care to understand that stuff right now not fully anyway, as he shouldn’t. He should enjoy his simple life as a kid for now and enjoy the fun that life has to offer him. I hope he always holds onto that childlike joy of his even as he gets older. I know he brings it out of me all the time and I enjoy that very much. I take that kinda joy with me everywhere afterwards, that fun innocent childlike joy is what keeps the hope and joy alive in us all. I understand doing the work of taking the initiative anyway you can to be apart of your children's world isn’t always easy for some parents but it’s never impossible and I’m a firm believer that if you really truly wanted to do something, you’d find a way no matter how small it might be, that small gesture could make such a huge impact on the life of the person you’re aiming it towards especially your child. Taking that extra initiative is not only a form of appreciation for your child, but its the highest form of love you can give them willingly and authentically. Because everything else you do for your child, is mandatory and is what you owe to them for bringing them into this world, but showing them that love isn’t something we have to do, but something we are given a choice to and absolutely SHOULD do if we want to have beautiful, healthy and open readerships with our kids as they get older.

Speaking of older, lets trace our steps back to what I said in the beginning. Because lets be honest, vice versa is also very much true, as your children get older and are more cognitive and aware and are stepping into their own being in this world getting ready to go make their own mark on it, its not so much that they don’t owe you but its more like they are in less NEED of you. I mean yes you're always technically gonna needed you family but need more in the sense that they are needed for that emotional comfort and family reassurance and less in the monetary way you always relied on them growing up. And that’s something children should grow up learning to understand, that yes as they get older they will need less and less from their parents till the day they can officially walk on their own two feet in the big world. At that point it is no longer the parents obligation to support you. Emotionally, yes they should, monetarily no they should’t have to. That’s your job now as an adult in the world to be able to provide and make those decisions for yourself and take the actions for your own now. Yes your family is always there for a second input but it is ultimately your choice as an adult to make them for yourself. And the parents job at this point is to LET you make them When you are at that age. No I don’t even want to put an age on it because I firmly believe sometimes your age should not determine how aware and reflective you are and capable you are as a person to be ready to step out and make your own decisive decisions. Especially these days some kids grow up really fast and CAN make it out there, where as some stay in the nest longer than others because they DO need that extra time to feel ready and prepared. But at some point in time we will have to step out our comfort zones and grow up, one way or another life will push you in that direction.

So this was just my own insight into this matter, I’m sure its stuff a lot of you already knew or thought about but I feel its always good to reiterate things in case someone needs to hear it today. And I do hope I was able to offer a new perspective or way of looking at a situation in your own lives and this is of some help to anyone. Maybe share this with that one family member that needs to hear it from a 21 year old who doesn’t even have kids of his own yet haha but ill tell you what. I cant wait to have some of my own. So I can watch them grow into their own warped versions of me and fill them will all the love and joy life has to offer and be able to guide them through the lows they will experience. And I don’t care what anyone says, yes I can wait but I personally got baby fever over here and want a mini TreTre...when it happens it happens 🤷🏽‍♂️ lol thats just my personal opinion. Ill be joyous either way, I look forward to such blessings. Tune in for the next post and thanks for reading all the way through I truly Love all of my readers ya’ll are amazing, I’m sure this is a lot to read and I value the time you all took to read my words. Keep loving n stay blessed.

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sikoko · 6 years

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Hacking Hedonic Adaptation to Get Way More For Your Money

After three years, wall-mounted toilet paper has become the latest thrill.

When I built our current house, I decided to do as much of the work as practical myself, because I learned years ago that this is the most satisfying way I can possibly live.

I love sitting back late at night, especially during cold winter nights or intense summer rainstorms, and looking up at the high ceilings and the ornately framed windows and thinking about all that structure holding itself together and protecting us so nicely inside. Satisfaction.

Sure, practicality also required some compromises – I hired out the big, repetitive task of drywall, and hired friends to work with me on the heavy parts like framing the roof.

But as soon as the house was even remotely habitable, with plywood kitchen countertops and no bathroom sink, we moved in. This allowed me to keep working on the place without being away from the family, and also to move out and stage the previous house nicely so we could put it on the market.

That was in early 2014, and true to my nature I’ve never really stopped working on the house since then. The first things were urgent, like quality countertops and sinks and faucets, appliances and light fixtures and functioning closets, so I did these things quickly. Then I installed a really nice woodstove before that first winter came, then built the second bathroom, and moved on to renovate our son’s room in the old wing of the house that had not been part of the fully rebuilt section. Then more closets, trims, cabinetry, little features here and there as the need arose, and even the rather major feature of the detached Rock’n’roll Studio.

There have been a hundred little upgrades, always arriving with random timing, as time permitted. And the interesting thing about them has been this:

Each little upgrade – whether big or small – has brought a similar amount of short-lived but genuine happiness.

When I upgraded the countertops from plywood to stone, we were all thrilled at the new, smooth and easily cleanable nature of the kitchen. Then after a week or two, this thrill became the new normal, and it was gone.

But then, I added shelves to a closet, and fighting with piles of clothes in laundry baskets became a joyful flip through a row of hanging shirts and nicely folded pants on smooth wooden shelves. Another thrill! For another couple of weeks.

On and on these small upgrades went, each one accomplished by my own two hands, so that I got the satisfaction of a job well done, and also lived in a house that was constantly getting just a bit better every week.

Looking back, this has been so much better than just moving into a pre-made, perfect, fancy house that somebody else built for me, and doing it this way has also saved me hundreds of thousands of dollars at the same time. And even if you’re not a carpenter yourself, you can get the same benefits by understanding the human pychology at work here.

Hacking Hedonic Adaptation.

You may recall me cautioning you in this long-ago MMM Classic, to avoid buying yourself fancy shit, because the thrill of every new life upgrade – whether it is a nicer dishwasher or a faster Mercedes – always wears off, and your overall life happiness returns to exactly where it was. It’s quite an un-intuitive result, but if you watch yourself over time, you will notice it is uncannily accurate.

For example, I started this blog seven years ago in 2011, and distinctly remember being very happy with life, even way back then. Sure, I had problems just like everyone else, but on balance it was still a great life, because I was already pressing most or all of the actual buttons for human happiness

Some of the recipe for happiness (a slide from my WDS talk)

Since then, I have stumbled into a few upgrades:

A nicer house

A nicer bike (several, actually)

A nicer car

A nicer dishwasher

Internet fame

Several times more money than I had before

A really fun new business (the MMM-HQ coworking space)

And many, many other nicer things (clothes, electronic gadgets, interesting trips, and so on)

And yet, I’m still not really any happier than before, sitting here right at this moment. My life looks more prestigious and luxurious on paper, but since I was already extremely fucking happy with life before, there was not much to improve.

This brings up a strange paradox. Because I also remember feeling quite giddy and thrilled with each of these upgrades as I made them. Those happy feelings were genuine. What Gives?

The Happiness Bump

The phenomenon at work was the temporary thrill of a new life upgrade. If we were to sketch it out on paper, it would look like this:

The Short-term Happiness Bump from lifestyle upgrades

As you can see, you make the upgrade, and you do get some genuine thrills for a short time.

The key thing to know about your happiness is that you have a ‘baseline’ level. Some of it is genetically inherited, but you can also have a strong affect on it yourself, by pressing the genuine happiness buttons in the diagram above.

Most lifestyle upgrades (cars, dishwashers, or even my new toilet paper holder) do not press these buttons, unless they truly address a shortfall in your previous life.

In the best possible outcome, you might make a life change that helps you gain new skills, increase your health, or improve your life’s core relationships. This could stretch out the shaded “Actual Benefit” part of the graph to be much longer, in the extreme cases for your whole life.

But in the typical outcome, most of us make changes that produce only a short bump, and then may even come back to haunt us with a payback time (which I labeled the “debt hangover” in the picture. Anything that puts you into debt, makes you less healthy or otherwise compromises your ability to live a happy life fits into this category.

Putting it into Practice

Your job as a wise, badass Human is to understand your strengths and weaknesses, and then arrange your life to make the best of things. The temptation to pursue shiny but useless upgrades is one of our biggest weaknesses. So try the following hacks:

Consider each potential change (whether it is a purchase, a trip, or a lunch out at a restaurant) from the perspective of one year in the future. How much better will your life be in one year, if you make this decision right now?

Delay everything and space it out as much as possible. The anticipation of a treat often provides at least as much joy as the consummation. Simply doubling your waiting period will cut your spending on this stuff in half.

By cutting your upgrades into smaller pieces (as I did with the piecemeal home construction), you get to experience the thrill more often.

Put your priority on upgrades that remove a strong daily negative or a barrier to happiness. For example, upgrading from a 2009 to a 2018 BMW will very likely not make you happier, but upgrading a barely-functional bike or shitty kitchen faucet to a to a good one you use daily can make a real difference.

Find ways to modify each potential upgrade so that it presses more of your happiness buttons. Make it more challenging, do things that require you to learn or accomplish something first, choose things that allow you to create or strengthen friendships, and choose the healthier options out of any alternatives you are given.

Use your temptation to buy or consume new things as a habit trigger: catch yourself in the moment of weakness (because this happens automatically and frequently), and use this to do something good for you instead. For example, every time I walk by my fridge and gaze longingly at the handle, thinking of pulling out a cold beer, I am reminded to go out to my back patio and do 100 pushups instead. In really disciplined times (like the last few months for me), I back this up by also not keeping any beer in the house. But even if the end result is a bubbly reward, I have improved the reward bump by packaging in a permanent benefit (fitness) with the otherwise very short term reward of a drink.

And finally, keep a list of your top life priorities on your fridge door, or your work computer monitor, or somewhere else that you see it many times per day. Stuff like better friendships, better parenting, health, financial independence, happiness, personal growth. Looking at this list before you decide to do anything – whether it’s planning a lunch or moving to a new house, can serve as a surprisingly powerful anchor to help you fine tune your happiness bumps – stretching out the good parts and eliminating the hangovers.

Happy Hacking!

In the comments: which life upgrades have you made that ended up producing neutral results or even regret, and which ones have provided more lasting happiness?

Source: https://ift.tt/2IHzBSd

#Economics

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topicprinter · 5 years

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So I’ve been suffering from the worst burn out and stress over the past 6 months. It had effected my relationships, mental capacity/psyche and emotional well-being. As a background, I own and manage a multi office/multi attorney firm. I’ve been trying to get out of the business (unsuccessfully) for years. Not ready to retire, I thought that I had to have a replacement business to move into before transitioning out of the firm. I started out taking on some real estate development projects. Ground up builds in a few different developments comprised of about $20mil in total projects. Then I was given the opportunity to take over the management/operations of a $200mil year private equity firm. I thought, “what the hell, I can do all.” Boy was I wrong.The stress juggling all which was turning out to be 3 full time jobs drove me to a breaking point. Just running around angry trying to put out fires but not doing a good job at anything. Basically hit the breaking point and took a hard look at what I’m doing and WHY. I have learned so much through my journey since it began around March. My purpose in writing this is simply to share what tricks and tips I’ve learned for anyone else suffering from burn-out or making major life choices.My first lesson on my journey was that I was basically going through a mid-life crisis. However, a mid-life crisis doesn’t need to be a negative event. What I learned is how in the first part of our life, we’re all focused on pleasing others. That may include parents, teachers, bosses, spouses, girl/boy friends, friends, etc... We become who we are initially by meeting the expectations of others. However, these expectations of others don’t necessitate a peace or happiness for ourselves.Happiness for ourselves comes from a transition in life recognizing that we really should be focusing our limited time in life on our internal joy. We may have met all expectations of others professionally, financially, or socially but it’s not what makes us happy to our core.Frankly I had been unhappy in the law firm forever. Hell, the only reason I became an attorney was meeting other’s expectations of success and what that means. I now recognize that doing the private equity and property development was nothing more than getting a new girlfriend or lambo as what can happen in a mid-life crisis. I thought it would bring the peace/happiness but only added to the frustration.I found that I need to find my calling. I love entrepreneurship and starting businesses and am really good at it. So I’ll definitely stay in the business world but we’ll see where this path takes me.After recognizing this period of transition, I know that the most important thing is at the end of the day to be happy. Happy with oneself; happy with family/friends; and happy with life’s ambition. At the end of the day, this one principal is the most important thing. There is actually a field of study on happiness called positive psychology. I read The Happiness Advantage to provide some tips and practices to help guide out being towards maximizing the possibility of happiness. I’m trying to institute and remember all of the below to create the happiness habits that should lead to a better contentment with business. The big points to note were:Your business should be your calling - If you’re in the business just to make money or to meet the expectations of others, you will eventually hit a point of dissatisfaction, burn-out or failure (even in success). There must be a greater purpose. Working for the point of a profit only is an empty pursuit.Focus on the Positive - It is so easy to get wrapped up into the negatives and focusing on solving the problem or fixing the ... revenue loss, employee replacement, AR, client issues, delivery delays, etc. etc. etc. We only have mental space for so much and a focus on the negative creates a negative existence. Spend time each day purposefully looking forward the positives, future plans, past successes, replicating what is working, etc... As an ongoing exercise, I start the day now with writing down three good things from the day before. It forces time taken to contemplate the good and starts the day off on a high point.Culture makes a difference - How do your employees interact? Helpful team oriented growth or the take down others to get ahead. Unfortunately in the legal field, it is full of attorneys fighting, positioning wins, trying to climb the ladder by getting ahead of others (rather than helping all grow). Most law firms of any size are fraught with negative cultures from the top down. There is a focus on the all powerful billable hour and the basic negativity of an job looking for negativity, problems and fights makes culture an unfortunate victim of the goal. Getting rid of the office terrorists is the first step towards creating a positive culture.Connect with Friends/Family - When times are the toughest and our natural reaction is to focus on the problems/issues, it’s the most important time to connect with those that care. Remember how much larger and longer your life is than todays problem and importance of your loved ones. The current problem is nothing more than that, “current” and will pass with time or effort. However, hyper focus also limits your scope of analysis and ability to consider all options. Taking the time with family/friends can literally create more options and potential to handle the current issue than staying unhealthily focused on the issue.Finally to work through the burn-out creating new positive and healthy habits for wellbeing is so important for getting into a new headspace that can continue past a weekend “personal health” retreat.What are some good habits to institute: * Stay Active - Exercise, sports, biking, etc... adding something every day even if one of those 10 minute trainer videos. Everyone should have at least 10 minutes. * Outdoors - We’re constantly surrounded by computers, TVs, cells (I.e, blue light). Connect with nature. See how much larger the world is compared to the “office”. * Start the Day Positive - what are the 3 good things from the day before * Eat well - Fast food is just as quick grabbing a pre-made salad at the grocery store. Stay away from the fast food burger joints to fill space. Try new foods. Order more healthy at restaurants. This will start to detox the body and start putting yourself into a new positive space. * Limit Drinking - As fun as it can be, it’s still a depressant and skews emotional responses. If you’re not in a good headspace, drinking simply doesn’t help and may (but not definitely) hurt. It is surprising the first time going out with friends and mixing up drinks with mocktails and realizing that no one really cares. * Start Meetings with Positives - Start all meetings on a positive note. What good is going on in the business. If the meeting has to deal with problems, create a compliment sandwich. Start positive, deal with problems, end on a positive note.A new habit does not come all at once. Slipping shouldn’t be considered a failure. It’s just baby steps towards a healthier lifestyle. If you have an unhealthy habit (drinking, cheating, fighting, shopping, etc...), realize that the habit is filling some personal need. You’ll need to replace the action with something that will fill that same personal need. Just try and cause it to be a healthy positive action/habit.As ridiculous as this all sounds, it’s now been about 3 months and the burn-out has nearly passed. Not perfect but getting better. The new mindset has been setting in and really helping. Got rid of the energy drains and re-energized to focus on success with a new outlook and energy level. This can sound ridiculous in very little has to do with dealing with the source of burn-out (I.e, the business). However, taking care of yourself actually accomplishes the same to allow us all to keep on swimming.Good luck to all in similar situations!

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

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marcusssanderson · 5 years

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How to Change Your Life: 10 Ways To Live Your Best Life

Searching for how to change your life? Change is inevitable and we all face life-changing decisions at some point.

“Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change.” – Jim Rohn

Change is so many things. It’s scary, exciting, and unpredictable, but most of all its necessary. Think back on your life and your routine 20 years ago.

What was the most important thing in your world then? Who did you hang out with? What was your favorite restaurant? Are any of those things the same as they are today? I doubt it!

You’re a different person now, and in 10 years you’ll have different answers than you would today. But as we get older, we tend to be more resistant to change. We get set in our ways, our routines, and unintentionally close ourselves off from new experiences that can improve our lives.

Below are 10 ideas on how to change your life for the better. Discover how to bring positive change into your life.

How to change your life in 10 Ways

Shift to a Positive and Plentiful Mindset

Your mindset filters how you view your world, what you see and how you interpret every situation. If you have a negative, closed mindset you’re instantly cutting yourself off from opportunities on the horizon because you can’t see past the negative.

You attract what you put out there, and to welcome positive change into your life, you first need to believe it’s possible. You may have heard the quote, “whether you believe you can or can’t, you’re right.”

First, start recognizing where your current mindset is leading you. For example, when you’re presented with a new project at work, do you dwell on the myriad of things that could go wrong? Are you caught up in how hard this project could be?

Do you lack self-confidence? Instead, try thinking of just one way this could positively impact your life. You could learn a new skill set, make a new contact, or be trusted with larger projects.

Changing your mindset won’t happen instantly, but tuning in to how you interpret your surroundings and working towards seeing bigger and better outcomes will pave the way for positive changes in your life!

Here are 10 Signs It’s Time To Change Your Mindset.

Find a Mentor

When I changed careers, I reached out to a female coach who worked with women clients just like I aimed to do. She was nice enough to meet me for coffee and let me ask her questions about getting into the wellness business and has become a mentor to me ever since.

Whether you work with a mentor for your career, relationships, wellness or just life in general, your life is guaranteed to change for the better.

A mentor has been in your shoes and is empathetic to what you’re going through. They can shed light on things you’ve closed off – consciously or subconsciously – and guide you through changes you may not know how to navigate.

Here are a few sites to get you started:

Business Mentoring: Score.org (FREE small business mentoring) Life Coaching: Beautiful You Coaching Academy Career Coaching: TheMuse.com If you’re looking for health coaching, I would love to work with you! Sjkfitness.com

Cut Out Toxic Friends

We all have those friends who we’ve been friends with “for-ev-er”. Often, these are wonderfully fulfilling relationships, but have you ever wondered if you met them for the first time today if you’d be compatible?

Old or new, toxic friendships can bring you down and limit your potential for positive change. It can be hard to cut ties, but here are a few ways to create room in your life for healthier friendships:

If you’re feeling assertive: Let your pal know what’s bothering you. Her response—and actions—will tell you if it’s time to move along.

If you’re feeling passive: Pull back, make fewer plans, be polite but not overly friendly. (In other words, don’t be dishonest.)

Either way: Cultivate new friends who make you feel enriched, enlivened and embraced, because that is what good friendships do.

Learn Something New

As children, basically everything we do is new. We are constantly learning new skills, and aren’t surprised when we encounter something we do not know. When you’re an adult, you tend to stick with what you know. Unless required, it’s just easier to go along with what you’re good at because the risk of failure is low.

However, when we open ourselves to learning something new, we’re presented with aspects of ourselves we either didn’t know or forgot as we grew up. This creates space for change by laying out possibilities for our life we didn’t know existed!

I took tap classes as a kid and recently found a studio in my neighborhood that offered beginner adult tap. It was strange learning as a beginner, something I used to be very proficient at, but I am loving it! It reopened this area of my life I forgot I enjoyed, I have a new hobby and am meeting neighbors I wouldn’t have before.

Starting as a beginner can be intimidating. Click here for tips on how to approach it with love.

Create a “Bucket List”…of Sorts

Many people have things on their “bucket list” of what they’d like to do in their lifetime. This is great in theory, but in reality, these dreams are often so big and their timeline unknown, that it’s easy to never actually do them.

By creating more realistic and time-sensitive lists, you’re much more likely to accomplish these new things you’d like to do, and will inevitably bring change to your life.

An example I see often is a list tied to a birthday; “40 things to do before I’m 40”, or “30 things I will try in my 30th year”. These can be small, “host a dinner party”, or big, “travel out of the country”, it’s up to you!

My list is in the making, but the idea is to get my husband and I out of our usual haunts. We live in Chicago which is known for its plethora of unique neighborhoods, yet we head to the same areas and establishments nearly every weekend.

I’m currently making a list of different neighborhoods we haven’t been to, and picking a specific thing to do – check out a certain bar, order a “famous” dish at a restaurant, see a show, etc. – so we have a plan.

It’s summer so we can bike which lets us see more of the city we have called home for over 8 years! My hope is to have a whole new list of “go-to” streets and restaurants.

Make a New Friend

When you’re young, it’s easy and natural to make new friends. Even in high school and college, it doesn’t take much effort as everyone around you is generally the same age and living in the same environment. As an adult, things are different. It takes more effort and can be a little awkward at first!

Making new friends is essential for growth and change as you’ll be connected to new groups of people who could change your perspective on anything and everything. Not sure how to navigate the world of adult friendships? Check out these 5 methods and become a pro!

Change Your Routine

I am admittedly a creature of habit. I love my routines and even after a wonderful vacation, have a sense of longing to “get back to normal”.

In many ways this works well; it lessens the number of decisions to make which has been shown to reduce stress, and it helps me plan my day with ease. But routine often leads to a rut, and that is no way to foster change!

The good news for those who are comforted by routine is that you don’t have to drastically alter everything to welcome change in your life.

Trying a new place for your morning coffee, taking a different route home from work, or switching up what you do for a workout are all small changes that can give you a fresh perspective on your day.

For a few morning ritual ideas you can use to shake things up, check out this post!

Find Your Passion

Before becoming a health coach, Sunday nights were rough. I didn’t look forward to my job and it finally got to where I couldn’t ignore my feeling of guilt for staying in a job my heart wasn’t fully in.

I couldn’t stomach spending my life doing something I wasn’t excited about. This discord was affecting my mood and, in turn, my life. But, what could I do? I needed a change but had no idea where to turn.

So, I started reexamining what brought joy to my life and when I felt my truest self. Finding your passion isn’t as easy as it seems it should be, but once you find something that you not only enjoy, but have a knack for, your world opens up with different paths you didn’t see before.

Even if you don’t feel the need to change careers, finding your passion through hobbies and volunteer work will indeed change your life. Need help discovering your inner light?

Here is a list of 7 podcasts to get the creative ball rolling! Think you’re on to something? Check out these 3 ways to determine if you’ve hit the passion jackpot.

Go With The (Creative) Flow

Have you ever been so into a project – cooking, reading, writing, puzzling, etc. – that an hour slips by without notice? That is known as a state of flow. Getting into a creative flow has similar effects on the brain as meditation in that it reduces stress, lowers blood pressure and produces dopamine – a natural antidepressant.

“That’s great!”, you’re thinking, “but how does this change my life?” When you flex your creativity muscles, you expose yourself to new experiences and this openness allows your mind to wander and seek out more new avenues to explore.

Think you aren’t the creative type? Check out these secret ways of highly creative people and get your creative juices flowing!

Argue For Change

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein.

If you wish to welcome change into your life, you’re going to need to do something different. This sounds obvious, but knowing what to change is where many of us get stuck, hoping that if we keep chugging along, things will improve on their own.

We also fear the work that goes into change, and with unknown challenges on the horizon, it can seem more comfortable to stay where we are. What helps many of my clients is making a pro and con list. For example, if you’re unhappy with how often your family orders in during the week, but haven’t been able to get yourself to cook more often, your list could look like this:

Changing behavior: Pro’s – eat healthier, save money, learn a new skill, could be a family activity, less guilt Con’s – need to learn more cooking skills, more planning

By forcing yourself to think of how staying the same or how to change your life will impact you, you’re likely to discover what you thought was scary, is really going to be worth it in the end.

The more often you change behaviors and routines, the more readily you jump at change. Start small and learn how you approach and accept changes in your life. Here are 8 small lifestyle changes to consider!

The post How to Change Your Life: 10 Ways To Live Your Best Life appeared first on Everyday Power.

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soulshapeslifestyleinteriors · 6 years

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SPACES WITH SOUL + THE SOUL SHAPES APPROACH TO INTERIOR DESIGN

Many of you may have seen that on every instagram post I use the hashtag #spaceswithsoul. This is a phrase, that for me, really narrowed down my approach to interior design. But there is a little more to it then just some fluffy catch phrase, so today, I want to give you a little more of an insight into what the term ‘SPACES WITH SOUL’ really means and what the Soul Shapes design narrative actually is.

First and formost, priority in the design, whether residential or commercial, is to improve health + wellbeing. Like anything in life, nothing can grow and flourish without a good foundation, a solid starting point. Those well versed in spirutual awareness and enlightened living, will most certainly agree that a healthy spirit, a connected and self aware soul is pivotal in creating the perfect foundation for health and wellbeing. A seed won’t grow without the right soil, a cake wont bake without the right tempreture. For true happiness, health and growth, our inner soul connection, our awareness of our true core self must be unravelled and understood before anything else.

I know this to be true with every once of my being. I have lived it, I have worked it!

Over many many years I have researched, listened, read anything I could on spiritual living. I have such a comfortable, natural understanding and appreciation of how important it is to develop and nourish our soul connection, so much so I have dedicated my life to it! For me, there really is nothing that we should prioritise before this aspect of our self. I am living proove that this is true, I have changed my inner and external world to a place of peace. I live a life of pure internal joy. (not always, geez I can’t beat PMS, TMI? lol :) Like so many of us gorgeous humans, I have had a life of emotional challenges over the years, my connection to my soul has allowed me to come out the other side, happy, peaceful with no hate in my heart for those who hurt me. I appreciate so so much that my life journeys have lead me to understand this very important aspect of myself and I’m so excited to explore with my clients/readers how our external world interplays and enhances our internal spiritual world.

It’s this curiosity of ‘How does our external world enhance our inner world?’ that brings me to incorporating interior design into the process of creating that perfect foundation we need to thrive.

We are all natural beings and it has been said that ‘Mind, Body and Spirit are not seperate aspects of ourselves, they are infact all intertwined and dependant on each other. If this is the truth (it totally is) then of course our exchange with the material world, our physical experience and interactions with our physical body are to be impactful to the health of our ‘Mind, Body and Spirit’

One of the major design perspectives included in the Soul Shapes scope is to acknowledge and incorporate the very strong relationship found between people and the material/built environment. Materiality in our physical world emitts energy, it is energy, just as we are. Nothing really is seperate and there are many many constant, varying energy reactions created between people and the material world everyday. These exchanges/interactions have a cause and effect reaction on our own energy bodies in ways that can either elevate and enhance or restrict and close of our soul connection, thus our health + wellbeing!

With this framework, we then look to a biophilic perspective and begin to understand why this is HUGELY important in our design process. The whole idea that we as natural human beings are innately drawn to nature and that we innately feel happier when in nature, really is not some weird phenomenon. We too, like nature, are nature! We are all made from the same ingredients, it makes perfect sense that as natural beings we of course are going to feel happier, energised and more alive and of course connected to our soul, when we are in nature!

Our current built world creates so so much separation from our natural world. We are stuck in small buildings with little natural air, often little sunlight. We are basically the equivilant of sticking a beautiful plant in the cupboard. No wonder so many feel seperate from themselves, suffering with depression and anxiety.

The Soul Shapes ‘SPACES WITH SOUL’ biophilic approch really is about bringing us back to our roots, taking us out of the cupboard and putting us back in the most beautiful nutritious soil through incorporating as many natural elements into interiors. Using natural, sustainable materials that breathe and align with our own energy is a beautiful way to really reconnect us to our true essence and this is of course is paramount in the scope. There are so many ways to get us conected again and I love to experiment and explore th emany ways that I can work with clients to bring in the elements of water, fire, air + earth. Stimluating the senses through these natural occurrences energises humans on the deepest level, fostering that percfect environment for a healthy soul connection.

In addition to the biophilic perspective, we must also recognise the importance of considering our lifestyle habits into the design scope. Designing a home that encourages healthy habits is hugely important to Soul Shapes and our approach to designing for health and wellbeing. We work with clients to create tailored design solutions to help form and support ongoing healthy habits and lifestyle choices. Whether it be in the kitchen via custom storage and living garden installations, or simply designing a purposeful space to connect through at home yoga and meditation studios. Effective, well developed design does’nt just stop with beautiful natural materials and furnishings. Soul Shapes works with clients from that holistic framework, combining the whole picture of meeting both the internal and extrinsic factors to health and wellbeing. Healthy habits, create healthy lives and a healthy world!

I want humans to flourish, I want us to be happier + healthier than ever before. Frank Lloyd Wright was a an exponent of biophilia and was quoted saying. “Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you” and to me, the term ‘SPACES WITH SOUL’ really means creating beautiful spaces that help us do just that!

Mel Sherwell

Interior Designer/Energy Shaper

SOUL SHAPES-Lifestyle Interiors

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damonbation · 6 years

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Hacking Hedonic Adaptation to Get Way More For Your Money

After three years, wall-mounted toilet paper has become the latest thrill.

When I built our current house, I decided to do as much of the work as practical myself, because I learned years ago that this is the most satisfying way I can possibly live.

Sure, practicality also required some compromises – I hired out the big, repetitive task of drywall, and hired friends to work with me on the heavy parts like framing the roof.

There have been a hundred little upgrades, always arriving with random timing, as time permitted. And the interesting thing about them has been this:

Each little upgrade – whether big or small – has brought a similar amount of short-lived but genuine happiness.

Hacking Hedonic Adaptation.

Some of the recipe for happiness (a slide from my WDS talk)

Since then, I have stumbled into a few upgrades:

A nicer house

A nicer bike (several, actually)

A nicer car

A nicer dishwasher

Internet fame

Several times more money than I had before

A really fun new business (the MMM-HQ coworking space)

And many, many other nicer things (clothes, electronic gadgets, interesting trips, and so on)

This brings up a strange paradox. Because I also remember feeling quite giddy and thrilled with each of these upgrades as I made them. Those happy feelings were genuine. What Gives?

The Happiness Bump

The phenomenon at work was the temporary thrill of a new life upgrade. If we were to sketch it out on paper, it would look like this:

The Short-term Happiness Bump from lifestyle upgrades

As you can see, you make the upgrade, and you do get some genuine thrills for a short time.

Most lifestyle upgrades (cars, dishwashers, or even my new toilet paper holder) do not press these buttons, unless they truly address a shortfall in your previous life.

Putting it into Practice

By cutting your upgrades into smaller pieces (as I did with the piecemeal home construction), you get to experience the thrill more often.

Happy Hacking!

In the comments: which life upgrades have you made that ended up producing neutral results or even regret, and which ones have provided more lasting happiness?

from Money 101 http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2018/04/10/hacking-hedonic-adaptation/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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andrewdburton · 6 years

Text

Hacking Hedonic Adaptation to Get Way More For Your Money

After three years, wall-mounted toilet paper has become the latest thrill.

When I built our current house, I decided to do as much of the work as practical myself, because I learned years ago that this is the most satisfying way I can possibly live.

Sure, practicality also required some compromises – I hired out the big, repetitive task of drywall, and hired friends to work with me on the heavy parts like framing the roof.

There have been a hundred little upgrades, always arriving with random timing, as time permitted. And the interesting thing about them has been this:

Each little upgrade – whether big or small – has brought a similar amount of short-lived but genuine happiness.

Hacking Hedonic Adaptation.

Some of the recipe for happiness (a slide from my WDS talk)

Since then, I have stumbled into a few upgrades:

A nicer house

A nicer bike (several, actually)

A nicer car

A nicer dishwasher

Internet fame

Several times more money than I had before

A really fun new business (the MMM-HQ coworking space)

And many, many other nicer things (clothes, electronic gadgets, interesting trips, and so on)

This brings up a strange paradox. Because I also remember feeling quite giddy and thrilled with each of these upgrades as I made them. Those happy feelings were genuine. What Gives?

The Happiness Bump

The phenomenon at work was the temporary thrill of a new life upgrade. If we were to sketch it out on paper, it would look like this:

The Short-term Happiness Bump from lifestyle upgrades

As you can see, you make the upgrade, and you do get some genuine thrills for a short time.

Most lifestyle upgrades (cars, dishwashers, or even my new toilet paper holder) do not press these buttons, unless they truly address a shortfall in your previous life.

Putting it into Practice

By cutting your upgrades into smaller pieces (as I did with the piecemeal home construction), you get to experience the thrill more often.

Happy Hacking!

In the comments: which life upgrades have you made that ended up producing neutral results or even regret, and which ones have provided more lasting happiness?

from Finance http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2018/04/10/hacking-hedonic-adaptation/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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jacquelinebeet1-blog · 6 years

Text

Worked with In order to get Rich.

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