#and went to find her when she didn't

[hedgehog-moss]

I lost one of my chickens :( she was caught and carried away by a fox... I’ve been growing complacent about my chickens’ safety I think because we’ve only had one other attack before, a goshawk that swooped in abruptly (unsuccessfully), but no fox sightings nearby so I’ve been assuming Pandolf was a great deterrent. Which he is, just not foolproof. I’ve talked to some people in town about this and they were pretty philosophical about foxes stealing chickens, like “it’s the tribute we pay to woodland animals, it’s just a few hens here and there.” I don’t begrudge the fox for being a fox, if anything I have a renewed respect for foxes because everyone I talked to proceeded to give me their best / worst fox stories, and most of them involved foxes outsmarting humans (learning people’s habits / timetables, opening latches, faking a limp...) Still I feel terrible for my hen, she was only three. RIP Cordy :( You’ll be remembered fondly... (except by the cats.) I feel bad for the other hen too, who just lost her pal!

When I said that last thing, one of my neighbours jumped on the opportunity to try and convince me again to accept a rooster from him. He had a rooster baby boom last summer and I’ve been telling him for months that I don’t need a rooster, I don’t want to raise chickens I just want eggs, and his new argument was that a rooster would protect my hen (or if it comes to that, would heroically sacrifice himself rather than let the hen be eaten—I’m sceptical...) I asked around for a young hen but there aren’t any to be had in this season, so my remaining one is going to be alone until the spring, and my neighbour said she’d get stressed and male company is better than no company. (I wish I could ask my hen what she wants! Maybe she’s penning A Coop Of One’s Own as we speak.) I said the rooster was more likely to stress her out and harass her and he said nah they’re free ranging all day, it’ll be fine, and he’s young so your adult hen will boss him around. I was like, but then will he be any good at protecting her? etc. etc. and after a while I caved in.

When I told her about this on the phone my mum sighed “you’re terrible at saying no”—excuse me, I said no so many times and the guy just kept ploughing on until he could foist a rooster upon me. I’m good at saying no, other people are terrible at hearing it! I reassured her that I had only agreed to take the rooster for a short probationary period, and if he bothers my hen too much I’ll drive him back to his native farm. My mum was like “Drive him back? look I’m sorry I raised you as a city kid but there’s no need to waste gas on driving a rooster around, I’ll have no qualms about wringing his neck for dinner if he’s more trouble than he’s worth.” The rooster’s fate is not sealed though, if he is anywhere from vaguely useful to not actively problematic I’ll keep him, so we’ll see...!

#if i return him where he came from he'll end up eaten anyway #prove yourself rooster! escape your fate #to go back to the fox attack; my other chicken went to hide in the barn (which is always open and they were not far from it) #and i thought she'd been eaten too because i couldn't find her anywhere. until i heard her clucking to herself anxiously #i called her and she clucked louder in response but refused to come out of her hiding place #after 10min of playing marco polo with a chicken in the barn i finally found her huddled at the bottom of #the large basket i use to store kindling #and pandolf & i went to look for cordy although i didn't have any hope #and we ended up finding feathers quite far away in the woods #i was very impressed by pandolf's ability to follow the fox's smell ! i've been teaching him 'cherche' but he's not that good at tracking #or not motivated enough when it's just for fun #but since he failed in his duty to protect his flock i guess he was suddenly very determined to be #a good dog in some other way and he was sniffing the ground so seriously #sorry the post was already long and i'm writing another one in the tags!

[wavebiders]

The thing that really gets me about Wyll and Karlach is just how their bond is allowed to have the importance in their narratives that it has

I mean, in games like these the cast is always going to be centered around the pc. Sure, the relationships between other companions can be developed through party banter, commentary, or even cinematics, but at the end of the day everyone's most significant relationship is always going to be the player. That's the person who most affects them and where their story is going

With these two, it's not even that Tav isn't vitally important to them both, but it's meeting Karlach that changes Wyll's life one way or another. It's Wyll that's the first person to stick out his neck for Karlach, and sends her reeling. Their bond alone is enough to convince Karlach to go to Avernus and stay alive

It's a very bold choice to risk limiting the player's importance in order to drive home the connection between two characters, and I really appreciate Larian for going there

#and that bond is significant whether you see it as platonic or romantic #but this is very much why I do find myself shipping it despite not really caring about originxorigin ships as a whole #wyll ravengard #karlach cliffgate #wyllach #bg3 #gonna get a lil gushy about my own pt here but #it's fully Wyll who saved Karlach's life there #my Tav's character arc in large part about accepting death #she went from being unable to cope with the loss of her family to processing it and accepting it #she convinced Mayrina to let go of her husband #she didn't argue when Shadowheart let go of her parents and was even relieved at her choice #she was not going to stop Karlach from nlowing up in the end #she and I both accepted that Karlach was going to die #and then at the last moment Wyll comes in and he doesn't accept it #he offers to go to Avernus with her and protect her #and I just realized this wasn't about my Tav #this was about them #*chefs kiss*

[pollyna]

au in which Mav has Ice always sitting on his right side or in front of him and he always puts people he doesn't want to listen to his left side. It always makes Bradley giggle because not many people know Mav is deaf from that ear. Once they all had the pleasure to see an Admiral spending an hour talking basically to himself with Mav barely even registering, he was there because he was too intent staring at Ice staring back at him.

#so fun fact my mom is deaf from 1 ear so we have a disposition™️ for where we eat and how to realise she isn't earing us when we'te speakin' #but not everyone knows so people start talking to her without getting her attention and once one of her colleague went on and on but she- #-didn't heard a single word of it. years later we still don't know what the gal was talking about lol #so i think mav would use it as his advantage to not hear some people speaking to him #au in which hop 31 leaves mav half deaf and cancer finds ice still in his 30. they both live a very long and happy life #icemav #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell

[nikrei]

Presenting day 3, Thad!

For this one i wanted to draw Thad and Bart doing some of the terrible shenanigans that my sister and I got into when we were kids.

#the time she shot me in the eye with a toy arrow seemed too... arrowfam #that time she tried to smother me with a pillow seemed like it would cover up too much of Bart #so i went with that time when her driving threw me off the back of the golf cart and I landed on my neck! #(it was fine-i walked it off. we did Not tell the parents) #despite all the murder attempts when we were kids se and i are besties now no worries #also two out of three of those things were not actually murder attempts they were just us having v bad ideas #remember when i said i was trying to be restrained for this week??? #absolutely i traced that golf cart tho #if u ever catch me freehanding a vehicle no u didn't that's not me #gotta post this before I find five more things to do on it #thad thawne #bart allen #bartallenweek #arting with nik

[yayforocs]

👉👈 so @silverskye13 i saw this and..............

had to make an aron helsmet!!!!!! this was really hecking fun to think about actually like what she'd be like n design (which. is a poke at the rp server she was from actually) and also made me sit down and think more on my other minecraft ocs i have sittin around and why they ended up getting redesigns lkdsfh BUT YEAH i!!!!!!!! aron!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#what do i. tag this as. sdklfjslk #i mean ig since it's like??? she's a concept from it i should??? #redstone and skulk #aron #a lotta the stuff aron goes through in her character arc in the rps has to do with like. she has her stuff that she's comfortable doing #and stuff that she's not #and after trying and trying and trying to go outside her comfort zone and help ppl around her in a Better Way #feels like she's just not good at it and should give up and go back to what she was doing before #-only to find out through A Lot Of Events that no she actually was learning even tho she didn't realize it and she was getting better #and she was actually helping #and also. it was. kind of impossible for her to go back anyway. jlsdf. #sO i thought her helsmet would be more of the 'stick with what i know and don't leave that' kinda thing!!! #leaning into her minecraft roots; she was originally a redstoner/demolitionist (i mean she's still a demo but) #so her helsmet would- if following that idea- be Really Hecking Good at redstone #but only stick to redstone bc No I'm Not Trying Anything Else #also aron had a lot of problems trusting people she shouldn't and it really bit her back so there's that aspect too!!! #...also is it just me or does this pic feel very Camish like i don't know what it is about the style bc i tried smth different #and when i finished i looked at it and went 'huh. this looks like camish drew it.' #I WILL ALSO!! make more!! of my other minecrafters!!! i just underestimated how much thought i would be putting into making helsmets sdlkfj #but they are bouncing around in my brain!!! and i will draw them once i can get them to stay still long enough to realize what they are!!!

[tastycitrus]

what happened after cass made it back from the spirit world, probably

#spirit world #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #listen i know spirit world didn't cover what happened when cass returned to the bat-family because it wasn't about them #but i really really want to know how that went down #how long was cass stuck in the spirit world? because it had to be some time #was it long enough for the rest of the bats to notice? did they notice her disappear from their systems? #were they like “oh god what happened to cass” and panicking/trying to find her #did cass explain anything when she came back? or did she just say something vague and not elaborate

[crispyliza]

You've heard of mansplaining, now get ready for: dadsplaining!

Example: you're filling out paperwork and your dad sits next to you and tells you the answers to questions like: what is your name and last name (he also helps you spell it), when is your birthday, when did you graduate high scool etc.

#this actually happened tk my sister a few years back #she lost her ID card and had to go to the police station early in the morning to aply for a new one #my dad woke me up in like 7 am to go with them in case they needed help with tech stuff (finding the necessary forms online) #he ended up figuring it out by himself and he was very proud #and then went to help out my sister with the paperwork and did what i described above #it reminded me of how captain holt in b99 always informed his husband of his full name when they talked on the phone #and when they were making reservations and holt told kevin how to spell his name #anyways afterwards my dad went to buy coffee and a tiropita as a thank you for the officer thay helped us and fought with my sister #bc she didn't want to bring them to the officer #before he bought the stuff he asked us if we wanted anything and i asked for an iced tea which he forgot :( #so not only was my presence useless i also didn't get anything out if it #but seeing my dad and sister fill out paperwork was pretty funny and i will forever cherish that memory #shitpost #text #crispy talks

[bumblingbabooshka]

-Remembers how T’Pring looked as she watched Spock & Chapel vanish into the bathroom together after seeing them kiss on the bridge (which she knew was for a mission and didn’t hold against them but perhaps she could sense something there since they do have feelings for one another), maybe attempting to calm herself and her suspicions as she’s left alone again (and later finds she’s been left out entirely this whole time) and how she doesn’t know that Spock almost told Chapel he loved her then and there, with T’Pring in the other room waiting, and how Amanda and Sevet both think she could have more confidence in herself and how T’Pring thought that she and Spock were in this together (her holding his hand, subtly letting him know to pour slower so the tea flowers would bloom correctly, a whispered ‘well done’, the ritual is over mother) and how mere hours after she expresses to Spock how she feels: Like he doesn’t trust her, like he doesn’t care to include her in his life, how she’s trying her best to show him that she will accept him wholly, how she wants to be his partner instead of an adversary or an obstacle, after all this he’s found Chapel within the hour and is kissing her.-

#I've seen people say 'it's not technically cheating because-' and once you've hit 'technically' in MY opinion it's pretty much cheating #'taking a break' isn't synonymous with being able to kiss/have sex with other people - that's something that needs to be discussed #in my opinion...BUT ALSO. Even STILL. Not even a goddamn DAY went by. #T'PRING!!!!!! SAVE MY GIRL T'PRING!!! #Can you imagine hearing your fiancee who you ostensibly like tell you (very vulnerably - especially for a Vulcan: I didn't mind this bc I #personally assume that Vulcan partners WOULD discuss and talk through feelings though probably with a different goal than humans) #that she feels hurt that you seem to not want to include her in your life and that she feels you should take a break #and then IMMEDIATELY going to find the girl you have a crush on to tell her that you and your fiancee are taking a break and that you feel #bad about it and then IMMEDIATELY after that you're KISSING her?????? #didn't feel TOO bad about it then huh! #Anyway I'm not earnestly like incensed I'm tv angry on T'Pring's behalf - love the drama bc I'm experiencing SNW from a very particular POV #I will only be angry if they make T'Pring into the bad guy somehow (like if the NARRATIVE says this is correct) #also off topic but I personally think star trek has had enough 'Vulcan culture is bad and restrictive' episodes/talking points - Enough. #Find some joy and peace through connection to an alien culture PLEASE. #I get it humans are great humans are so much freer and happier than Vulcans humans rule - Enough. #-turns to camera with a smile- anywaaaay I watched the episode once and I couldn't rewatch it for this post so <3 #if any of this is wrong just chalk it up to bad memory <3 #snw spoilers #idk how long an ep has to be out for that to apply #also just so everyone knows - I /do/ think it's stupid that Spock forgets how to act Vulcan when he turns fully human #but I also just expected it since star trek writers LOVE bioessentialism #I have NO doubt that if Spock turned Klingon he'd suddenly start talking about honor and being rowdy despite those things being #learned and cultural v_v #I SAY ALL THIS...and I DID like the episode! I'm complicated <3 #<- just likes episodes with fun hijinks as their thesis and also T'Pring is there

[angeliteonfridgeduty]

(@absolute-solver)

so basically

this here is Cynthia, or 066 lol

silly old ahh cabin fever labs subject woman that at the moment just sits somewhere down there with like 6 more people

she's solver host certified but strongly dislikes the eldritch png file, refuses to use it unless she like absolutely has to (or is angry enough lmao) and even when she does use it, like. the most she's willing to do with it is hold insert random thing with it, multiply stuff here and there and occasional teleportation. Will likely disapprovingly look in someone's general direction if they rely on the silly too much totally not exactly why i drew her specifically for that post lmao

idk what else to say about her rn uhhh i think i can generally describe her as a cringe mix of sarcastic and tired?? idk i suck at personality descriptions

oh right she owns like a whole crowbar and uses it as a weapon lol

i don't exactly have a normal decent fb reference of her and the closest i own to her colour scheme is a literal pony town avatar so uhh silly scribbles it is for now i guess (if any colors are in fact needed i will happily provide)

(also if you need to know if she wears anything on leg: it's these)

fucking funniest part

I MADE HER OUT OF A PIXEL CAT'S END CAT

a CAT

THIS MF

the cat itself was literally deliberately designed by me to be a murder drones reference because hiii null wind i blame the null wind's name for this. named the cat cyn (because) and later decided to turn her and 6 other cats into basic cfl dwellers. which is how 066 here started existing as a character.

the cyn name was kept because i thought it would be funny lol. though i slapped it into a full cynthia to avoid confusion

#murder drones #murder drones oc #art #oh and she's like fully aware exactly which very silly worker drone she shares a name with #she pretends to hate it. secretly finds it hilarious as frick #gotta love how my md addiction is so silly i straight up went and grabbed 7 completely unrelated pixel cats #and said like #“ok you lot are worker drones now. have fun” #fun fact the results of the “cat-to-drone shenaniganry” as i call it all have something resembling silly cat ears as a reference #for cynthia here it's the way her hair uhh is lmao (actually its hair shenaniganry for like nearly all of them but shhh i didn't say anythi #also yup she uses her id tag as a weird scrunchie #why wear tag normally when you can fake cat ear #ahem uh #md-colony 262 #soup jar. that's it. that's all i'm willing to say

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Also went looking for something through my notes and remembered that Roxy's entire existence before Ruin was just a huge middle finger to Fazbear Ent. I should bring that energy back lmao she wasn't always trapped in a pit of MXES network flavoured angst.

#the specific note was about her being programmed for acoustic and drums #and management saying to the band 'yeah yeah just incorporate the new member into the set however the preprogramming should sort it' #and then she shows up with a fucking keytar she found in the basement and spray painted green. #being told to put it down and go back to her normal instruments shes SUPPOSED to have where did she even get that from #and she concedes like fine fine whatever #then rocks up on stage with it anyway and her debut show is a huge fucking hit for it #cause she quite literally stole the show with it #literally she fit into what the band was doing yeah but at some point when it came to her official intro #she just fucking went for it #all improv baby she had a blast out of spite!!! #literally steamrolled at least one entire song to fuck around and find out and everyone had to improvise around her #freddy offered backup vocals but literally sang 'i dont have an instrument' at some point #to kind of clue her in that he doesn't know what the fuck she's expecting #and she just 'well thats a shame not my problem' in perfect tune right back at him lmao #then carried on like it never happened!! #freddy chica and monty wanted to fucking throttle her for this. the FUCK is she doing?! #but they expected management to do it enough for all of them... then they just didn't. #she got a slap on the wrist because the audience had loved it #like a very half-assed lecture and she very clearly didn't care #and they're so fucking mad about it dndnkd #that was the notes! roxy is an asshole and gets away with it! and when she doesn't it doesn't stop her anyway! #and it drives the others nuts for ages! #for good reason of course #but yeah that's that lmao

[chirpsythismorning]

📝 💐 🛼 💔⏪️💭🧊🌄❤️‍🩹

I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor

previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist

#stranger things #bizarre love triangle playlist #el hopper #el's pov #i was so happy when i re-listened to this alongside the lyrics when looking for songs from el's pov #'at first i was afraid. i was petrified. kept thinking i could never live without you by my side' #all season long we saw el experiencing heartache over mike and how it led to her feeling insecure as if it was all her fault #she was convinced that if mike didn't love her then she couldn't be happy #'but then i spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong and i grew strong and i learned how to get along' #el spending time away from mike at nina along with all the months of doubt prior to their fallout now having validation... #it wasn't just her loving and falling out of love with mike over the course 3 days #it was her realization that their relationship has been deteriorating for a while now and coming to terms with that in 3 days #'and so you're back from outer-space. i just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face' #this is the main line that reminds me of her brushing past mike and will in the cabin #probably a little more harsh as this song is pretty harsh in terms of the singer not being capable of seeing her ex as even a friend now #but el's earned some harshness after what just went down #that doesn't mean they'll never overcome this #it just means there is still a serious need to confront it which wont be super pretty #and then the forgiveness and acceptance can only come after that #'and you see me. somebody new. i'm not the chained up little person still in love with you' #oooooo get him! #'you think i'd crumble? you think i'd lay down and die?' #sort of reminds me of the assumptions not just mike has but also most of the audience #they think it would be impossible for mike to end things with el bc she would be so broken hearted and she doesn't deserve that #which of course she doesn't #but maybe el knows what she deserves... and it's more than what mike is able to give #'i've got all my life to live and i've got all my love to give and i'll survive. i will survive.' #she's not going to go on forever being hung up on something that wasn't what she deserved in the first place #she will survive ya'll #4x09

[in-tua-deep]

man i have really been thinking about worldbuilding and exposition in books recently

when i was like, i don’t know, twelve-ish, I picked up this book about a teenage girl in a spy school. and i absolutely fell in love with it - I thought it was incredibly neat how the book just seemed to drop me into the middle of the story, even starting in the girl’s second year. in fact, the main character frequently referenced events from her first year (falling in love with a civilian, things ending badly, finding secret passageways, losing her mother’s trust etc.) 

and I actually really enjoyed the fact that the character had a rich and vibrant life outside of what i had read and that the book didn’t go out of its way to explain her past in flashbacks or anything. i understood the main takeaways and why she was reacting to things based on what i gleaned, and more than that i understood the growth of the character, why she was cautious in certain places but reckless in others, etc and i felt smarter for not being handed the answer on a silver platter

anyway it wasn’t until i finished the book and realized there was a sequel that i looked it up and found out that. in fact. i had started with the second book in the series.

oops.

#i will say i genuinely read the sequels and NEVER went back and read the first book #it genuinely felt like i understood the takeaways from reading the second book #it almost felt like i would be doing cammie a disservice by going backwards and undoing the progress she had made #anyway i just remember thinking about how cool it was that the author didn't go out of their way to explain exactly what happened #and yet i was able to understand what happened just by her reactions to this new guy #the oh. OH. of realizing she hadn't fallen in love with a civilian so much as fallen in love with the idea of civilian life #her life being made much more difficult from the loss of trust by her mother and teachers #kind of want to go back and reread it but i feel like reading ur childhood books again sets you up for disappointment #probably not the masterpiece i remember reading #but man it made so much sense bc of COURSE cammie wouldn't just like. give me info about how the world worked. her mum was headmaster. #ofc she knew how the spy world worked smh #so when they were like FUCK the secret passageways we used to sneak out are blocked off bc we got caught last year #we need to figure out either a) another way out of the school unseen or b) find more secret passageways #and i was like !!! yeah! of course! that makes total sense and adds an obstacle for the main character to get though! #and now i also know that cammie a) was sneaking out to see her boyfriend which means it was b) a secret worth hiding for some reason #idk that second book was the only bitch i respect

[warrior-of-sunlight]

I just fucking love it when someone has dogs that are too strong for them and one of them is dog aggressive and not wearing a muzzle. Just love it. And don't get angry when I need to physically kick your dog away after it bit both me and my dog, be happy my almost 40 kilo dog listened to me and did not bite back. Fucking hell.

#good morning! #I didn't even have my coffee yet #Roef is too riled up for me to check him properly for bites #he looks tough but he's easily scared and he's pretty shaken #even after we walked off the tension somewhat by walking for an extra 30 minutes #there was some blood on my hand when I felt his leg but I can't see anything #will check again when he's calmed down #haven't seen any more blood so I think it's not that bad luckily #I have a bruise on my leg and a little superficial hole so it's not that bad #that dog wasn't there to make friends #I'm ashamed to say I kind of lost it #I yelled like a fishwife and cursed like a sailor #pretty sure everyone in my street is awake now #I do feel bad about kicking a dog though but I think the kick was nicer than having Roef actually getting angry and biting #I don't think I really hurt the dog that bad and he did back off long enough for his owner to fetch him so it is what it is #I could have been kinder to the lady because I'm sure she didn't want this either but I was so fucking pissed and just went off #maybe I'll have a talk with her once things have cooled down she only lives a block away so I know where to find her #liedeke talks #dogs #animals #roef #my pets #my dogs

[bunnyb34r]

I will say I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt a little when my aunt had told me why my "cousin" (her niece, one I cut off. Tradwife cousin) isn't talking to her

So cousin's kids all look like fucking Charles Dickens orphan characters with these huge ass foreheads, whispy ass hair, and huge like sunken looking eyes. Well she had sent my aunt a picture of the kids and the one looked so fucking raggedy like always and she had asked if my cousin had ever seen "Call the Midwife", bc that's who her kids looked like, the kids on the show. She meant this as a compliment.

My cousin goes no I haven't, what do those kids look like?

And this is where my aunt made the mistake, she said they were desolate poor kids who like never had nice clothes. Not connecting that she was telling her that her KIDS then looked desolate and poor. (I was already cackling bc accurate. I know her husband makes a LOT of money and I know how much our aunt left her bc I've seen the will/got the same amount. So all together she's like upper middle class. They CAN afford to dress their kids nicely)

So my cousin didnt find that funny and she's like "and you're saying my kids look like that?" That being poor and raggedy.

Aunt heard "like those kids on that show"

My aunt then PHOTOSHOPS SAID KID INTO A COLLAGE OF THE KIDS FROM THE SHOW and puts a caption "which of these children Arent on the show Call the Midwife?" As a joke

Cousin didnt like that. Anyway the next day my aunt and her kid were at a flea market and saw really cute baby clothes and she had said "oh I wish I knew someone in the family with little kids. OH! COUSIN'S KIDS" and she texted that to her asking if she could buy them for the kids

Well she wasnt thinking anymore ab the previous conversation and how it essentially was her saying (in my cousin's eyes) that my cousins kids look poor and like they never have nice clothes, and hey can I buy your raggedy ass kids these clothes?"

I was nearly in fucking tears man 😭 I mean I'd be pissed as hell if she'd done that to me ab my hypothetical kids but bc it was a cousin I cut off and hate, and one who has really ugly children (they look like those renaissance paintings of babies sgsggsgsg like I'm sorry that is a man that isnt a baby) it was so funny

#marquilla #i was so glad that someone else finally admitted that her kids look like Victorian street urchins 😭 i found a skeleton baby decoration #thing at halloween and it had sunken in eyes and a sad face and i went 'oh my god i didnt know 'cousin's kids had their own dolls! #mom didn't find it funny but i did #oh and my uncle was like 'well you told her her kids looked homeless! what was she supposed to think!?' and she stops and went 'i didn't #say homeless i said they looked desolate' as if that was better 😭 #i was like 'no she didnt day that she said they looked poor and like they didnt have any kind of nice clothes' 😭 #i mean when you are so far up the tr/adwife pipeline that you dress your kids like peasants and never comb their hair...

[flufflecat]

Really not feelin it this week. Tag rant incoming

#it's just been a slew of horrible things this week and idk how to handle any of it #we had to take my childhood cat to the vet on Monday bc she's very sick and very skinny #and we thought we'd have to put her down #I'm so thankful bc she still has a bit of time and really all I want is for her to be comfortable again before she dies #but shes in such bad shape #and I hate seeing her like that. I found her when she was just a few weeks old #and now she's 15 and she just got old out of nowhere #and I'm not gonna be able to see her anymore soon #I'm going to a funeral Saturday for one of my aunts #I wasn't close to her since I was a kid but my family more or less abandoned her #and now she's dead and I never went to see her when she was alone #and today my other aunt died. and I was close to her. #I haven't seen her in years either though bc of more family drama. #and I never visited her either. idek if she was alone or if she had people. #I should have visited her when we found out she was sick but I just didn't #idk what to do. it's all just piling up #I feel worse rn than I have in years #and more bad things just keep happening #I was excited this week bc I got some work done on my college application #but now my motivation is just gone #I just wanna sleep and wake up and find out that my aunt is actually alive and someone just got it wrong somehow #but I can't fall asleep and that won't happen so waking up won't even be worth that #I would call off work tomorrow but I don't wanna be alone and my coworkers are the only people I know in town #at least they're all nice people #this all sucks so fucking bad #personal #negative

[blujayonthewing]

reflecting on how all of my other DMs have gone above and beyond to lovingly weave my and my friends' backstory elements into the larger worldbuilding of the campaign by contrast to all of the ways Elyss' DM has gone out of his way to suppress or excise any influences her family may have ever had on anything and I'm genuinely near tears over it

#'I'm so surprised that Elyss wasn't more interested in going to her mom's hometown now that you're in her homelands!' #YOU! CHANGED Nami's backstory so that she never traveled anywhere before having Elyss #and YOU decided that she never tells Elyss literally anything even when directly asked #because you're so desperate to make sure your players never know literally anything about whatever might happen to them ever #YOU made it feel not only unrewarding but as if it was actively unwelcome for you if I even talked to my mother!! #'we're making this very dangerous journey (that you've been retconned not to have made yourself so you can't spoil it)-- #--assuming we survive can you please tell us anything at all about what to expect the other country to be like?' #'well. it is different than here. it may not be what you expect.' #'oooh why didn't you go to hometown' SUCK MY DICK I ASSUMED YOU'D BE ANNOYED IF I WENT THERE HOPING TO FIND ANYTHING #of course ELYSS wants to try to touch any part of her own heritage she can!! #do you think she doesn't wonder whether she has family there? do you think maybe it's weird that she doesn't already know?? #when *I* built Elyss' mother I made her a traveler from a far-off land so neither of us had to worry about it #YOU decided to send us to THAT far-off land specifically and then REFUSE to let Nami actually TELL me anything about it!! #feels very much like you don't want me to engage with that! feels very much like you ACTIVELY don't want me to explore that connection! #and if it felt like *Nami* was being secretive about it then Elyss would be even more keen to investigate herself-- #but it's just part of a well-established pattern of NPCs going 'it's a secret teehee' for very obviously no other reason than that-- #the DM just doesn't ever want us to have information even if NPCs have that information and have no reason not to share it #anyway. tl;dr grief over elyss yearning her whole life for somewhere to belong #but not going to her mother's birthplace because she has no reason to believe there's anything there for her. #for purely stupid empty meta reasons. #'I'm surprised you didn't go there 👀' so maybe he had something! #but my mother-- through you-- was so cagey about whether her parents even exist that I kind of just figured you didn't! so!! #about me #my OCs #elyss