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#anderperry incorrect quotes
soyourethatanderson · 5 months
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Charlie: Why is Neil crying on the floor? Knox: He's drunk. Charlie: And? Knox: He saw a picture of Todd's husband. Charlie: But he's Todd's husband. Knox: ...I know.
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suvarnarekha · 4 months
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Todd: Are you ready to commit? Neil: Like, a crime or a relationship?
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reggieslocket · 1 year
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dpsse · 7 months
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Charlie: Women don’t find that attractive
Neil: Promise?
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rrcenic · 6 months
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even more dps as things my friends/family have said
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todd: shit
cameron: WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT WORD??
cameron: was it charlie?!
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charlie: that’s what she said
knox: that’s not- she would not say that
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charlie: if you really loved us, you’d skip the staff meeting
keating: both can be true. i can love you and still go to this meeting
neil: oh. i get it. so you DONT love us
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knox: a car? who wants a stupid car? i want a big, burly truck
todd: oh god, i just want something with air conditioning
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keating: keep the bouncy ball in your pocket, mister meeks
charlie: yeah, keep your balls in your pants, meeks
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keating: i don’t let you choose your scene partners because you’ll make bad choices
keating: you’ll do your best friend and then fail at acting
neil: i feel called out
todd: *chokes on water*
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cameron: get out of the way, jerk!
charlie: FREAK! i’m a freak, not a jerk!
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charlie: hey all! knox and i are getting ready to send out holiday cards! if you want one, just let me know
cameron: sure-
charlie: nobody cares cameron
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neil: …do you take ADHD meds?
charlie: I USED TO :))))))
neil: …and…you’re sure stopping was the right choice?
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keating: mr overstreet, when i’ve already called out mr dalton for chatting, and you start whispering anyway…
keating: i just think… “knox bad”
charlie: smash his phone!
knox: i’ll smash you!
charlie: yes please
knox: what
keating: what
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Neil Perry: I’m so laid back, I only care about 3 things in the world
Neil: My friends and family
Neil: Every person on this earth and their opinion of me
Neil: The crushing psychological weight of being alive
Neil: Oh, and Todd Anderson. I fucking love Todd!
Charlie “Nuwanda” Dalton: That’s more than three, captain
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lesbicosmos · 1 year
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dps as random posts i found on pinterest part 3
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gremlinoverlord · 3 months
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Conversations I imagine the poets having
(mainly charlie being a menace)
└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘
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✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Charlie: We need a diversion. I say Knox gets naked.
Neil: No.
Charlie: I could get naked.
The poets: NO!!!
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Cameron: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Charlie:
Charlie: I'm gonna tell him.
Neil: Don't you dare.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Charlie: sapnu puaS.
Pitts: What??
Meeks: What language is that.
Charlie: Turn your phone 180 degrees.
*Charlie was removed from the groupchat*
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
*at 3am*
Charlie: *runs into todd’s room and turns on the light* Wake up sleepyhead!
Todd: *wakes up* Dude!
Charlie: *cackles*
Neil: *sits up from where they were sleeping behind todd* What the fuck, charlie?
Charlie: *jaw drops* Wait WHAT-
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Pitts, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?
Charlie: Yeah, sure.
*A few minutes later*
Charlie: Here you go.
Pitts:
Charlie:
Cameron: Why am I here?
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Knox: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...
Todd: I really care about your feelings!
Neil: I really care about YOUR feelings!
Knox, turning his head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...
Meeks: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!
Pitts: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Cameron, about Pitts and meeks: My god, would you two just get a room already?
Meeks: Excuse me, Cameron?
Neil: What he's saying is you both just keep agreeing about horrifying things and relishing everybody else's misery. So seriously, when's the wedding?
Pitts: ...
Knox: I ship it!
Charlie: HOW CAN YOU NOT?
└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘
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inahallucination · 9 months
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famous au but um dumb
@cowboylexapro
if the poets were on social media and famous this is what they'd be known for
(age somewhere between 19-21)
todd
tumblr blog name: toad.anderson
ao3 name: toad.writes
he's technically anon but not rlly
sexiest tumblr account known to man - he's a fanfic writer and an au poster with some occasional og stuff that floods his inbox with asks begging him to publish his og work too - what fandom does he write for? all of them.
his bf proof reads them all even if he's never been in the fandom
he writes fics for his friends when they get famous
in between his novel worthy fanfics are shitty fics of his friends
his followers get rlly confused
he wrote a neil x reader fic until straight girls started claiming it and he took it down becuz the reader was him
todd on his blog: guyss… im so sorry but im taking the neil x reader fic down… im sorry if i offend anyone but the reader was me ❤️ not you - i don't like you all claiming it
after taking down the x reader, he does a neil x oc but the oc is him but with green eyes
neil, after the oc gets described: todd the only person im seeing is u tho 😦 and u have blue eyes
eventually his relationship with famous tiktoker neil perry gets revealed and ppl realize he's not just an obsessed fan
after neil says the thing blog: toad.anderson: guys my real name is todd anderson everyone: omg we wouldve never guessed
after neil and him go public and ppl dont believe that neil is gay he alternates between seething and writing neil fics and taking joy from neil's confusion
todd points out comments that are obviously thirsting over neil and neil still doesn't realize he's being thirsted over
"neil be the father of my children!" "oh i think they meant that in a godfather type way"
todd, at a breaking point, suggests that neil and him post a kissing video but neil doesnt wanna be one of those shawn camilla couples - respect
what if he posted them kissing but he made a historians will call them bestfriends joke but then ppl did🧍‍♂️
"my bestie and I 🤩 " "NEIL PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK UR SERIOUS"
//
neil
tiktok name: neilliard.at.julliard
accidentally tiktok famous for pretty face, charming personality, acting abilities - the theater kids had a claim over him orignially but he's pretty mainstream now
comment section full of old grandmas trying to set him up with their granddaughters
everyones dream bf until he posted about his own bf
neil: my boyfie has a big tumblr and he writes a lot and he really likes frogs and he is also blond and heres his address
hes kinda oblivious about everything
"you want a close up of my collar bones? why ?"
reading comment "'show your abs?' its nice you think i have abs! only my boyfriend can see those tho 😉 "
the comments go wild
people are stitching it screaming for different reasons
all his fans r screaming into pillows bc HES TAKEN NOOO
people are trying to figure out who this mans boyfie is
"he has a boyfriend??" "he's been straightbaiting us!" "NOO HE'S TAKEN" "IS UR BF AS HOT AS U" "look at the way his eyes lit up when he said bf i love love" "this video shows an aspect of society that-"
"tell us about ur bf" and he makes a week worth of videos but its all random stuff
"my bf looks pretty in blue" "my bf likes to put salt and pepper on his fries" "my bf has hair"
the straightbaiting comments come after him posting about pride and having a pride flag in the background of his videos <- they say things like "he's such a good ally"
people attack others in the comments who ask him if hes queer "NO NEIL ISNT GAY NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE GAY HE COULD JUST BE A REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY FRUITY STRAIGHT GUY WHO LIKES GIRLS"
"are you gay neil???" -> "not everything has to be gay ppl can just be allys and btw by assuming every ally is gay, ur actually hurting the movement!!!" -> "i asked becuz he said he wanted to kiss his boy best friend on the lips in highschool" -> "he meant it heterosexual-ly"
someone asks him what his type is and he describes todd to the t and they think he likes a short haired blonde
"he likes girls in sweat pants not skirts" "his type isnt ppl in skirts" -- neil would love todd in a skirt but thats not the point
his type: "he's really shy, gorgeous, short dirty blonde hair, uhhhh, really smart, and So much more :))"
he could say my boyfriend is a man who i am dating because i am gay and they would still try to straight-ify him
a grainy video gets leaked of a short haired blond guy jumping into his arms and ppl say things like "its just a girl with short hair"
todd hate writes a neil x male reader fic
he asks his friends for help and they post todd's face everywhere on his recording set
he makes a video like "meet my toddy"
in the video todd says he's a boy and he's todd and he's neil boyfriend 3485757 times and neil is like "omg babe i love u too <33" becuz he doesnt Understand
some ppl r still in denial or think he's bi w/ a preference for girls
straight girls like him becuz he has a pretty face and a general respect for women
during prom season, he gets dmed a lot of websites for buying prom tickets
"don't worry guys! i know i said my high school time was rough, but i actually did go to prom with my bf!!"
//
charlie
twitter name: therealalpha
most popular podcast name: daltons intercourse
joke/bait account ppl took seriously
The Alpha that other alpha posters bow to
says stuff like "SIGMA MALES KISS ALPHAS ON THE MOUTH TO ASSURT DOMINANCE"
the twitter alphas buy into him so bad he's making podcasts and doign interviews and he has no clue how tf he got here but he's riding the high
he advocates for being alpha via kissing ur homies
when he gets famous he begs todd to write a fic about him
todd agrees pretty easily tbh
"ARE YOU EVEN AN ALPHA MALE IF PPL AREN'T WRITING GAY FICS ABOUT YOU"
charlie posts things like "no homo" "only the real make out with their homies" over those black and white pics of muscle-y dudes w/ no context after the neil video he posts "he homo" over one of them w/ no context
at first ppl try to attack him but then theyre like wtf is going on here and realize he's trolling the alpha community
when no one realizes neil is actually gay he makes a podcast episode talking about how he thinks neil is gay gay homosexual gay - he's holding a cigar and wearing a tight hawaiian unbuttoned shirt like "lets talk about this gay gay theater gay boykisser man"
made by @cowboylexapro
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//
pitts
youtube name: gerdoesstuff
joint youtube name: idkman
homework help and crafts videos youtuber - relaxed vibes only here to be calm
he gives study and concentration tips and encourages ppl to seek help and companionship and not suffer alone
he paints mugs and looks for bugs
he was on charlie's podcast and they discussed the alpha-ness of making pottery
todd wrote a pitts x reader fic becuz ppl begged him to
pitts printed it out and framed it and put it in his filming set up
he's a regular on meeks podcast too btw and meeks is a regular on his
but when meeks is around things explode so
he has a second channel with meeks where they do silly experiments
theyre posting schedule is non-existent and they also do streams but they never tell you so their viewers just have to hope and find out
knox and him are planning on making a movie review channel but its still not fully thought out so
he makes couple mugs for todd and neil when neil asks for help
he wakes up at 2 am and sends todd prompts
anytime he learns a fun fact he sends it to todd on the off chance todd may need it for a story at some point in his life
anytime he reads anything he's like damn neil will love to act like this character and lets him know about it
he sends charlie alpha podcasters to make fun of
at some point he exposes cam's shitty handwriting for the giggles
knox
instagram name: knoxious.ur.mom.ious
he posted a short on his instagram talking about how he just learned hair grows from the head and not the bottom and blew up for being a dummy - he doesn't know whats going on but he's having a blast
he stirs up drama but on accident
he was on pitts youtube before
out of everyone here he's the only one not making content he's just vibing
eventually he ends up posting background footage of everyone doing dumb shit
when it comes out theyre friends ppl stalk his instagram to find more proof
after that he starts to stir drama but more consciously
hmm what else - idk he's just chilling, getting called out for being dumb and watching his friends do dumb stuff
oh wait when he makes that short about the hair a bunch of commentary channels post about it and he takes it like a badge of honor
cameron
instagram name: cam.studies
pinterest name: cam.studies
one of those aesthetic studying accounts on insta and pinterest - takes nice shots of his homework and his pen collections and his study desk
except its only for the pics his handwriting is atrocious - he has like one page or paragraph of pretty handwriting to post and the rest is scribbled chaos - his pens are never organized by color, theyre just thrown in a box, and his desk is filled with papers and books and never looks clean but its fine he's just here for clout
he ends up sponsoring and reviewing businesses that make those cute study supplies so now he has a hoard - or at least he did until his friends started taking them
he groaned about the cam.studies x {random ass ppl} fics todd wrote but he thinks theyre funny and has them bookmarked
he went on charlie's podcast and the two argued for half of it and then explained how as two alphas they would settle their differences by kissing
his friends help him angle his aesthetic shots at cafes and shit
he got exposed eventually as a fake becuz ppl (cough) posted his real notes which were messy and disorganized
but he played it off as a commentary about how the internet is fake and got more sponsorships
he judges todd and neil but is eating popcorn at the front seat of the drama
meeks
podcast name: chameleon hotel
youtube channel name: idkman
meeks makes a podcast for very stupid intricate crimes. he has a cult following of bisexuals
its stuff like drama over a tree being taken down
"the locals even called their beloved tree 'ole alvin'"
charlie: todd write a meeks x ole alvin fic
he has standards, so he does
he went on charlie's podcast and convinced ppl that being with other men allowed u to suck in their alpha-ness and become the ultimate alpha
but generally he just makes his little silly videos and makes cryptic posts about the neil todd drama
has a joint channel w/ pitts
is up to date with the neil thing and is the one to send neil updates
he tries to convince neil to act out his podcasts (with a lot of success lmao)
he tries to convince todd to write fics based on his podcasts (also with a lot of success)
as payback for the ole alvin x meeks fic he convinces todd (very easily) to write a bunch of dumb charlie fics and todd agrees becuz he has standards
no one actually knows that the poets know each other
they eventually post a group photo
"we need to cancel neil perry for being friends with an alpha podcast guy" "nah thats just charlie"
"yall know hes bi, right?"
"he literally has a podcast about how sucking dick as a man makes u the ultimate alpha male"
it does explain why charlie's alpha podcast go from tiktok actor, tumblr fanfic writer, instagram study blog, fellow podcaster, hw help tiktoker in between his satire of normal alpha tiktokers
half of these things are like copy and pasted from our conversation btw so dont blame me for them
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padfoot0216 · 5 months
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Todd - I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Neil - You’re like 17
Todd - You don’t know I might die at 34!
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aegondluvrs · 1 year
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anderperry real and in my brain
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soyourethatanderson · 10 months
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Todd: Can I be frank with you guys?
Charlie: Cool. Then you can call me Nuwanda.
Neil: Oh, I wanna be Puck!
Todd: Guys...
Knox: ...Can I still be Knox?
Charlie: Shh, let Frank speak.
Todd: Guys, come on...
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poetsconstellation · 6 months
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Incorrect dps quotes
Charlie: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?
Neil: *raises hand*
Todd: *puts his hand down*
Cameron: You need a hobby.
Neil: I have a hobby!
Cameron: Fawning over Todd isn’t a hobby.
*Charlie dies in a game with ships*
Knox: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us.
Knox: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury.
Neil : Legend has it that Charlie still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks.
Charlie: Of course I do.
Pitts : WHO ATE MY BREAD?!
Pitts : I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-
Meeks: I did?
Pitts : Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Meeks.
Pitts : *walks away*
Meeks:
Meeks: They're gone Knox.
Knox, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in his mouth: Twankh uh!
*In the chip aisle at Walmart, doing a late-night grocery run.*
Todd: *Minding their own business, looking for tortilla chips.*
Todd: *Finds tortilla chips.*
Cameron , to Charlie: See, they know what they're here for. They know what they're doing. Be more like them. Make a decision, Charlie!
Cameron: Todd, gather the others. We need to have another Charlie-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-them-before-they-hurt-someone convention.
Meeks, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Todd: Grey.
Knox: Grey.
Meeks, turning to Charlie: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Charlie: Dark white.
Meeks: I have a question.
Cameron: Shoot.
Meeks: Is the S or C in scent silent?
Neil: Fuck you, I’m going to be thinking about this all day.
Cameron: Okay well, cent is pronounced the same way as scent so I’m gonna say the S is silent.
Meeks: Okay, but sent is also spelled the same way.
Neil: Google says that the C was added in the late seventeenth century, so I guess the S is silent.
Charlie: Plot twist, both the S and the C are silent and the E actually makes the sss sound.
Neil: Charlie is not allowed to talk anymore.
Knox: You know you can die from that, right?
Todd: *smoking a cigarette* That’s the point.
Neil: *drinking alcohol* We’re trying to speed this up.
Pitts: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding*
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DPS As Quotes From My Friend Group
Neil:
- Me with my gay rights
- Why is it a beige flag? When you mix red and green you don’t get beige, you get brown
- To get Beige, you’d have to mix a white flag in there and I’m not surrendering
- I can’t see my face
Todd:
- I had one but also two actually
- Every corner is a nap corner… if you believe
- You fish for dilfs?
- I can fake cry but it’s probably not fake so I’m just crying
Charlie: (honestly I could use all of these quotes for him)
- I’ll shoot your balls
- Did you have sex with a beaver or something?
- I’ll show up uninvited, with a gun
- He deserves to get shot in the penis
- Blood, sweat and tears, with a bit of semen
- When I die, I wanna crawl up his arsehole
Meeks:
- He looks like Brendan Frasier if he got stung by a bunch of bees
- *Recites the whole beginning of the Bee Movie*
- I get my news from a talking fish
- Your crush on him was so big… you had a fat crush, better yet, your crush was obese
- I need a lobotomy
- I’m gonna cut your leg off and shove it up your arse
Knox:
- His long luscious beard I want him to choke me with it
- I wish Neil would stop sending me gay people
- What about a woman who has saggy tits… like a grandma
- No one look at me while I deepthroat this
- He (Mr Keating) could be the onceler if he really tried
Pitts:
- You only think I’m funny because I say dumb shit all the time
- We’re like the transformers of old people… Geriatrics roll out!
- I’m as tall as a traffic light
- I love this music! Is that water by dripping toilet?
- Why do you like Barbie if you hate women?
Cameron:
- I do not deserve to get shot in the penis
- Please don’t shoot my balls
- Readings for weenies and girls, and I’m a strong heterosexual male
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dpsse · 7 months
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Todd: I love you Neil
Neil: I love you too Todd
*beat*
Neil: We both love you as well, Charlie
Charlie: Thanks, I was feeling left out
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rrcenic · 6 months
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more dps as shit my friends have said
most of this is from musical rehearsals
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charlie: *about cameron* oh my goodness!! the full arch of his character improvement is coming to pass!!
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neil: i’ll just listen to this darling angel
todd: *blushes*
charlie, meeks, pitts, knox: aww
cameron: *gagging noises*
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todd: *quietly* i love it when it’s raining
charlie: yeah i love men too
todd: …what?!
charlie: huh?
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neil: do they give you better food in the adult psych wards bc the teens one SUCKED
mr keating: nope. all psych ward food sucks
knox: glad you’re bonding but also very concerned
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cameron: all the improv leads to scenarios about being gay! i’m sick of it! no more basing the entire skit on being gay!
keating: hey you’re a student. im the only one who gets to limit things
neil: of course it’s gay this is a drama class what did you expect??
cameron: fine, but can we at least limit the incest?
keating: alright! incest is off the table from now on!
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charlie: bro i’ve got a picture of john cena dunkin a basket over jesus
keating: that’s fake jesus would NEVER get beat by john cena
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keating: remember this, dear students: do not fear murder. in fact, be open to the concept. death is not the enemy, mister cameron here is
cameron: gee thanks
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charlie: my bisexual whimsy is simply too much for some
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charlie: to the buff jock with the facial hair and the soft feminine demeanor: i adore you
knox: thank you??
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