#anyway just complaining about my fucked up brain on main

[actual-changeling]

gritting my teeth, smiling, swallowing my emotions so hard i'm making myself nauseous: yeah im coping great with my bpd haha

#alex yells at the void #my mood stabilizers catch the worst of it but oh my god #literally i cant believe this is how you're supposed to cope with it officially #just keep everything inside until you die dont you dare inconvenience other people #third degree burns analogy is more accurate than people think #never forget that bpd has a 10% suicide rate as in successful ones #that doesnt even count attempts #remission my ass 4/9 symptoms is still unbelievable suffering #just cause it's no longer 5 doesnt mean youre great #anyway just complaining about my fucked up brain on main

[theminecraftbee]

if you'll forgive the rare mention of shipping from me. okay. so my brain LOVES generating weird, slightly fucked-up aus. and so. okay. sometimes i think about the joke that jimmy is the oblivious protagonist to a harem anime or a dating game in most of his smps. which is obviously a fandom joke more than anything else but like, he DOES have a bunch of these ships. and then i ALSO think about the sometimes-valid, sometimes-invalid way people complain about shipping warping his and other people's characters. (for the record that's just how fandom works shipping or not shipping i take a neutral stance on this, it's just important for the au idea.)

so my brain came up with: the jimmy dating sim au. in which jimmy suddenly wakes up and his life is a dating sim. and at first he's... very very jimmy about it. he preens. he LOVES the fact the world suddenly seems to revolve around him. it's GREAT. he can see dialogue options and he still somehow sounds like an idiot when he talks to people but that's fine because he still chooses the BEST OPTIONS. he's doing GREAT. this is the BEST THING THAT'S EVER--

although. hm. it's... a little weird the world is revolving around him? grian and joel aren't being mean enough actually, which seems like a silly thing to complain about, but like, look, he likes it when people are mean. and tango is silly and sweet but he's--he's not normally that focused on jimmy. he's a project guy. and scott is--look, it's weird he's not flirting with anyone else, right? like, that's weird? and, and okay, he's... not sure how to name what's going on with fwhip but there's not enough animosity, and whatever martyn is doing is like, look, jimmy's used to being shot down more on this one, and--

and once jimmy starts seeing it he can't stop seeing it. the world's warped around him. he's the main character in a dating game. every time he picks an option that makes one of his friends (his friends!) like him more, it's like another little piece of their personality is chipped off of them. and as much as he loves being the center of attention, he misses being mocked. he misses people paying attention to other things. he misses the bits that are being sanded off. he doesn't want to be the one to break his friends. he misses the relationships they had, sharp edges and all, because goddammit, he likes that kind of relationship.

but he doesn't know how to stop it.

he doesn't know how long he can go down someone's route before the changes get irreversible.

and so jimmy sets out on a journey to figure out how to break the dating simulator he seems to have gotten stuck in and get his friends back to normal. before it's too late.

ANYWAY IF I HAD TIME AND/OR MORE EXPERIENCE WITH VISUAL NOVEL GAME ENGINES IMAGINE--

#empiresshipping #trafficshipping #<- for blacklist this isn't. really a shipping post. you know how it is. #jimmy solidarity #anyway periodically this pops up in my head again #and i'm like. man i don't know how exactly to write this. but i would love it if it existed #so i am breaking my usual silence on anything tangentially related to shipping to bring it to you all. in case you all also like it.

[seokgyuu]

→ PAIRING: Jihoon/Woozi x Reader.

→ GENRE: Smut MDNI!!

→ SYNOPSIS: When Jihoon video calls you from the gym in a very specific angle, there isn’t much else to do than drive to the gym take what you want.

→ WARNINGS: reader has female anatomy, gendered terms (good girl) basically public sex, blowjob, soft!dom jihoon, degradation (name calling: slut, whore, reader gets called pathetic) face-fucking, multiple orgasms, cum eating, mentions of cockwarming, masturbation (f), pussy slapping, unprotected sex (stay safe everyone!!!) mirror sex, creampie (if there is something I missed pls lmk!!)

→ WORDCOUNT: 2.4k

a/n: hii guys, i watched yesterday’s live and it altered my brain so pls take this and enjoy <3. credit for the header go to my beloved @playmetheclassics & a special shout-out goes to @angelwoozi for reading this through and giving me the best comments ever 🫶🏻

Your boyfriend wasn’t exactly someone with the biggest rizz. The fact you even got together had been entirely your effort in the beginning. Not because he hadn’t been interested but because he couldn’t exactly read the room properly. Your flirting was mistaken as friendliness. Your touches were mistaken as something you just did sometimes. You had to literally spell it out for him to understand and even then it had taken him two full days to muster up the courage to come to your apartment and claim you as his.

Now, a year into the relationship, he still didn’t have much rizz - or at least not on purpose. He also still didn’t know how to read the room. Perhaps it had gotten slightly better, but not to an extent you could actually describe as aware of his surroundings and situations.

That was why right now, as you just finished another day of work, your phone propped in the holder in you car, you stared at Jihoon with your mouth slightly dropped. He had called you from the gym, the phone positioned in a way you usually knew from being in between his legs, his cock buried down your throat. His fluffy hair was looking extra cute today, which was in stark contrast to the way he sat on the bench press, legs spread and arms on display. He was just telling you about his day, about how one of the kids he taught at the local middle school had told him he sounded like an old man and how he now felt like an old man.

You had started your car and began driving to his gym the second he had shown up on your screen and he had absolutely no idea. You held the conversation, your thighs pressing together at every stop sign, every red light. Your underwear was sticking to your core because, fuck, did he look hot and, fuck, did you need to be in the place of his phone right now, having him destroy your throat.

“Anyways. Will you come to my place later tonight?” He asked as you pulled into the parking lot of the gym which, for whatever reason, he did not register at all. You chuckled, looking for a spot.

“Sure, babe.” You finally parked, grabbing your phone and purse, Jihoon now talking to one of his friends, Hyungwon, which meant he wasn’t paying attention to his screen. Convenient.

Five minutes later you were inside the gym, your phone and keys in your purse, Jihoon and you hanging up a minute ago. You had just told him you’d call him back which was technically a lie, but what you had planned would make up for it. You saw him sitting on the spot he had called you in, Hyungwon nowhere to be seen - and so was no one else. You were surprised, considering it was only 8pm, but you weren’t going to complain. You stopped in your tracks, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you watched your boyfriend do some weight exercises, flexing his arms as he did them and, god, did you want to fuck him right now. Looking around, you saw that even the reception was empty, a sign saying “be right back!” and so you did the only thing that seemed valid right now. You walked through the milky glass door that was usually open at all times (you had watched Jihoon from still outside of the main gym room) and let it fall shut behind you, the loud bang making your boyfriend look up from where he was sitting.

The second he spotted you, his eyes widened in surprise, the weight he had lifted with his right hand falling onto the floor.

“Y/N? What-,” but he didn’t get any further than that because you reached him, your hands on his cheek, leaning down to kiss him feverishly. The surprise grew, but he wasn’t complaining about his girlfriend surprising him at the gym. He kissed you back, hands on the back of your thighs, a part he could reach comfortably as he sat on the bench. Instead of parting, you deepened the kiss and soon enough you found yourself straddling his hips, Jihoon shocked at the wetness he felt once you led his hand to your sopping core.

“Shit, why are you so wet, babe?” He groaned, his free hand in your hair.

“Are you kidding? Do you see yourself, Jihoon? You’re so fucking hot, needed you the second you called me. Propping the phone like that… don’t tell me you didn’t want me to come here and suck your cock.”

As if to underline your statement, your hand reached down, pressing down onto his growing erection. Jihoon’s cheeks turned red, but he couldn’t stop the moan when he felt you grind on him. He kissed you again, pressing you closer to his body, hips automatically meeting yours. While a part of him was worried someone might walk in, another part just really wanted you to go down on your knees and bring truth to what you had said.

“Fuck, babe, you’re driving me crazy,” he breathed against your lips and you giggled, letting your hand slip fully into his sweats, feeling his perfect big cock harden against your palm. Jihoon now bit down on your bottom lip, causing you to moan, his hand on your core moving to shove your panties to the side, fingers gliding through your wet folds. Your hips moved again, your hand fully wrapped around his cock now, jerking him off slowly.

“I need your cock in my mouth, Jihoonie, can I please suck your cock?” Your voice was dripping in want and Jihoon nodded, letting his fingers glide through your lips one more time before letting go of you, sucking his fingers into his mouth, drowning in your sweet taste.

“Get on your knees, baby. Show me what a good slut you are. How much you want my cock, common.”

His words shot straight to your pussy, clenching around nothing as you slipped down, hands setting his cock free from his sweats and briefs and without any teasing you let your mouth sink down on him. His moans and the hand on the back of your neck spurred you on even more, your free hand reaching between your legs, thumb on your clit as you got yourself off whilst sucking all of his length into your hungry mouth.

“Yeah, like that, I know you can take it all, baby,” he pushed your head down softly, helping you take all of him into your mouth and once your nose hit his abdomen he groaned, his head thrown back. Your mouth felt heavenly around him, always did. He could never get enough of it. He had you under the table while he worked, just warming his cock with your mouth. Had you in the car, you leaned over as he drove to the shop. You loved sucking his cock, loved letting him fuck your face, loved when he painted your cheeks white, when he had you keep his cum in his mouth to show him after. He was crazy about your hunger for his cock and he would never ever get tired of it.

Coughing around him, tears streaming down your face already, you dared to look up at him, his hooded eyes making you rub your clit even harder. Jihoon licked over his lips, positioning his hands on the sides of your head.

“Good girl, taking all of my cock down her perfect slutty throat. Ready for me to fuck it?” When you nodded, he immediately did his first thrust, a droplet of sweat already running down his forehead. He was deep down your throat, probably visible to an outsider. Thinking about someone walking in, seeing the way his cock looked inside of your used throat… it had you moaning around him. The vibrations made Jihoon thrust again, harder this time. And that was when he couldn’t hold back anymore. His pace became quicker, his cock showing you no mercy as he drilled it into your wet mouth, his chest heaving as he lost all sense of control.

Spit was dripping down your chin, your eyes almost crossed at this point, feeling like you were on cloud nine, your boyfriend using you to get off, always making you squirm. You kept on moaning around him, making him spiral, his orgasm so close and yet so far. He knew he needed to be quick, as much fun as this was, he would most probably get kicked out for fucking his girlfriend in the gym and whilst he loved the thrill, he did love this gym too.

“Such a horny slut, couldn’t even wait to get home, had to have my cock down her throat right away. Should probably punish you later for being so impatient, don’t you think?”

Your eyes rolled back and you nodded to the best of your ability with him still fucking down your throat. When you hollowed out your cheeks even more, the glide suddenly a bit easier, Jihoon couldn’t help the guttural moan of your name, his movements becoming sloppier. You could feel that he was close, your pussy clenching around nothing once more as you thought about his sweet cum shooting down your throat.

“F-fuck, yeah, such a good toy for me, such a whore, so, so good,” he stumbled over his words as he finally came, pushing your head all the way to his abdomen again, cum shooting down your throat in warm spurts as you tried to swallow it all, his cock twitching on your tongue over and over again. Yet, when he was finished, he was still rock solid. You felt your pussy flutter.

“Shit,” he mumbled, pulling you off his cock to instead shove up your skirt and rip the useless panties off of you, his eyes still full of hunger. He then turned around, sitting on the bench like he had during the phone call and only now did you register the huge mirror on the wall, right in front of the bench. Jihoon grabbed your waist and turned you around skilfully, placing you on his lap in reverse, his hard cock pressing against your ass as he looked at you through the mirror.

“Gotta be quick, baby,” he mumbled, and you nodded, lifting your ass and grabbing his cock to finally sink down on him. You were so extremely wet there was almost no resistance at all.

“God, so fucking wet, fuck,” Jihoon proceeded to kiss your shoulder, bottoming out a second later. His eyes stared into yours through the mirror, one hand on your hip, the other now on your thigh, moving towards your throbbing clit.

“Ngh, Jihoon- pl-please fuck me, touch me, anything,” you whined hips wiggling, feeling so full and yet so unsatisfied. Jihoon chuckled, thumb now harshly pressing down on your clit.

“Do you see yourself, baby? See what a fucking slut you are? So desperate for my cock, to get fucked in the middle of a public gym? Breaking probably a thousand rules?” As if to punish you, his hand shot up, only to fall back down, slapping your clit and making you jump. His cock slid out of you then and he groaned, grabbing your hips to position you back on his cock. And then he began to, again, show no signs of mercy. He began thrusting up, both hands on your hips now as you leaned back, your head on his shoulder.

“Look at yourself, watch how I fuck you pathetic little whore,” Jihoon groaned, his cock twitching inside of you as you clenched around him, your walls closing in on him more and more. He moaned your name, fingers digging so deep they were probably going to leave bruises for you to admire later.

“Y-yes, I am s-so pathetic, couldn’t wait for you to fuck me!” You cried out, trying your best to keep your eyes open and moaning in pain and pleasure when he slapped down on your clit again once your eyes fell shut for a second.

“I told you to look at yourself, fuck,” He changed positions now, a yelp escaping you as you found yourself bent over, legs on either side of the bench, arms stretched to hold you up and Jihoon behind you, standing upright, his hips fucking into you at godsspeed. He looked at you through the mirror, watched how incredibly hot you looked, lips swollen and red from the way he had fucked your mouth earlier, drool and small bits of cum on your chin and, fuck, did he twitch at the realisation. He picked up his pace once more, not able to keep his eyes off of you as he felt you clench again, your tight perfect pussy vibrating around him as you came, your eyes rolling back at the feeling of your orgasm, his name like a mantra on your lips.

“Good girl, coming on my cock so prettily,” he slapped your ass once, squeezing the flesh after, only for his own orgasm to hit, cum shooting inside your spent cunt that was happily taking it all in. He fucked you through your orgasms, his cock finally softening and pulling out after, catching you in his arms. You both needed a second before you were able to breathe normally again, your chests heaving, hearts beating at triple it’s usual speed. You felt like he had fucked all the life out of you and you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

“You’re so cute,” he whispered into your ear then, kissing the spot underneath it. He had slipped back into his boxers and sweats and you were adjusting your skirt again.

You looked at him questioningly.

“What do you mean?” You asked then. He grinned, grabbing the disinfectant and some paper towels from the wall.

“You really think I didn’t know what position I placed my phone in? Silly baby. I might have started our relationship with zero rizz. But I would say, thanks to you, I am at a hundred percent rizz now.”

Speechless, you stared at him for a few seconds before laughing out loud.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Lee Jihoon.”

#svthub #woozi smut #jihoon smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #jihoon x reader #woozi x reader #seventeen fanfiction #svt fanfiction #woozi fanfiction #jihoon fanfiction

[yuri-is-online]

no cause the way you have filled my brain with sho brainrot,,,

baby acting like a mf guard dog for his favourite senpai, constantly wanting their attention 😭

LISTEN

I am so glad I waited to answer this for a teeny bit because I thought I was exaggerating at first because like. It was one voiceline right? WRONG. When you level him up he says "thank you senpai" and when I got his SR and slapped him onto my homescreen he does in fact try to get your attention and ask for help from his senpai. He's supposed to be this brash delinquent but he's shockingly respectful of one very specific senior even if he's just a bit sarcastic about it ugh.

Sho feels like he needs an excuse. He can't just ask to hang out with you because then it looks like you're friends, but if he's asking for a favor then you won't have a reason to say no. The Professors all want you to help out the ghouls so he can say just about anything and you'll jump at it, right? Yeah no that's not the real reason. He wants to have you to himself and if he words it like he needs help he can make excuses as to why you two need to be left alone.

Absolutely uses the fact that he can cook to his advantage. I think one of the main reasons Sho started liking the MC so much was because you supported his cooking. He seemed like he expected to be judged for it so when MC was just hungry and said his food was good? The only person he really seems to have cooked for up to this point is Leo (and Bonnie but she's special) so he wants that praise. And to hear you say he could charge money for it? Oh he was riding that high for ages. I feel like he already wanted to open some sort of cafe but really appreciated the support.

And it gives him the excuse to get you to stay around him longer when he asks for your help. Well he's going to cook anyway and you're hungry, so just stick around. He'll make something and pretend to complain about it but he likes feeding you. Well assuming you don't douse his food in hot sauce, though that won't stop him from making you stuff.

I really like the idea of him competing with the Frostheim ghouls idk why. I think MC should get to be good friends with Kaito and Luca and Sho should get to be a brat about it. Vagastrom and Frostheim already don't get along and he never got his fight with Lucas so yeah. He's super intense about how he's way better at protecting MC than they are, especially with Lucas. Part of it is because he feels guilty for going along with Leo's plan and almost getting you killed, he feels like he needs to prove that he's strong enough to not let that happen again.

Speaking of Leo... I sort of get the sense that Sho hides how much he hangs out with the MC from him. In book 3 Leo makes a bet that would see him getting Sho's food truck if he wins it so I sort of feel like if Leo knew Sho liked the MC he'd be insufferable about it. Honor Roll is stealing his best friend (¬､¬) how lame ugh. And he would try to sabotage it because he would find it funny, or even worse try to make Sho's friendship with you the cost of a bet. I could see Sho having nightmares about that.

Book 3. When Towa and MC go missing. I just know in my heart Sho was loosing his goddamn mind. Again I think he feels sort of guilty for almost getting you killed, and now that you aren't with his dorm you just go missing? Unacceptable where are you? How did Jabberwock fuck this up so badly holy shit. I wanna see him admit that he was worried about MC. I wanna know if he got into any arguments with the Frostheim ghouls while the professors forced them to stay behind.

... i kind of want him to argue with Jin. Like specifically Jin. For no reason other than it would be funny to me personally and like... Jin is the one who interrupted his fight with Luca so I just think it would be funny if they had beef.

I need to level his affinity more. I need to see more chats game please ;-; I love him shomuch.

#<3 asks #tokyo debunker #tdb #tokyo debunker x reader #tdb x reader #tdb leo #tdb leo x reader

[fortheloveofbuddie]

WIP Wednesday Thursday ✨

So I’ve not been doing great ™️ lately. I’ve been insanely busy and I haven’t been writing much because I’m indecisive as hell and didn’t know what to do. I’ve also really been doubting my own skills, so yeah it’s been… a ride.

ANYWAY, enough complaining! I’ve got a new wip going (shocking I know!), called the asthma fic in which a fight between Buck and Eddie leads Buck to have an asthma attack despite not having had one for years 🥴

A huge shoutout to @tizniz who helped me brain storm this fic 💕 and thank you to everyone who keeps tagging me, you’re much appreciated 💕

(Snippet and tags under cut)

Despite only sitting at an arm’s length, Buck feels like he’s a world away from Eddie. Normally the silence is comfortable, it’s safe and sometimes even wanted after a long shift. But right now, Buck is counting all of the many times that his parents did this to him. Didn’t want to deal with him and his feelings. He has to give up counting - there’s way too many times that he remembers and probably just as many that he’s forgotten all about. Expect his body hasn’t.

He traces the back of his hand, carefully picking at the skin as he swallows dryly, Eddie still not speaking. Eddie doesn’t say anything until they reach the main road. Buck doesn’t dare to be the one to break the silence, afraid of the consequences and the wrath that he without a doubt deserves.

“Buck, what the hell?” are the first words out of Eddie’s mouth. He doesn’t even turn his head to look at Buck but Buck is watching him carefully, his small mannerisms that indicates that this time Buck really fucked up.

Eddie’s jaw is locked tight, his nails are almost digging into the leather of the steering wheel and he’s shaking his head a little, shaking it in disapproval, Buck knows that much. “You can’t just…” Eddie takes a deep breath, wanting to get ahold of himself but all of the emotions and words inside his head are welling over, breaking the dam.

“You can’t just do shit like that, you know? You can’t just change plans without telling me about it. Especially not when it’s about Chris” He speaks.

Buck nods vaguely, not Eddie can see it anyway. He knows how much Christopher means to Eddie, that he will always be his first priority which is also totally reasonable. He just doesn't want this to be the thing that breaks them.

He can feel the tears brimming in his eyes, threatening to fall as the tightness in his chest increases and he coughs lightly, trying to shield Eddie from the fact that breathing is starting to become an ongoing struggle.

“I know, I’m sorry. I should have talked to you about it” Buck says and glances at Eddie who scoffs and pinches the bridge of his nose again. It reminds him a little too much of his father, ignoring him and walking away if he became too much to handle. They didn’t care. They were so busy mourning the son that they had lost that they forgot to nurture the one that was left. Maddie. Maddie was always there for him. She never gave up on him.

Tagged by @watchyourbuck @honestlydarkprincess @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @bucksbignaturals @theotherbuckley @cal-daisies-and-briars @dangerpronebuddie @diazsdimples 🩵 (consider this your tag for fuck it Friday)

Also tagging for fuck it Friday!! @disasterbuckdiaz @jeeyuns @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life @jesuisici33 @butraura @wikiangela @hippolotamus @steadfastsaturnsrings @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @monsterrae1 @evanbegins @vampbuckley @athenagranted @extasiswings @devirnis @eddiebabygirldiaz @elvensorceress @spotsandsocks @spagheddiediaz @buckbuckgoose @nmcggg @giddyupbuck @loserdiaz 🦋🩵

#buddie #buddie wip #fortheloveofbuddie writes #buddie fic #the asthma fic #fic: I’ll kill myself trying and I’m not scared of dying #<— oh look it has a name already #im as surprised as you are #im back on my bullshit #911 on abc

[regalbootie]

Trying Something New In the Bedroom Chapter 3

Chapter 3 NSFW 18+ NO MINORS PLEASE

Larissa Weems x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, overstimulation, spanking again cos I'm a whore, shapeshifter peen, Dom Mommy.

Notes: This was requested by the lovely @marilynthornhilllover and I had also received great help with this fanfic from many people i gotta say you guys are awesome. there will be a chapter 4! it just may not be rather smutty hehehe.

Requests are still open and I'm also taking suggestions for other characters to write about so if you craving something ill give it a shot! let me know what you all think of this anyways!

You pout as the cabin slowly goes out of sight, wishing you could stay there forever with your wife. It was bliss a week of rough fucking along with some tenderness of curling up in front of the fireplace together breathing in the calmness that the homey little cabin provided.

“Oh Darling, I promise we’ll come back soon” Larissa ran a hand over your leg, her fingers drawing soothing shapes that had no meaning. Resting your head against the window and burning the memory of the scenery into your brain when you notice the car rolling to a standstill.

“what’s wrong darling?” looking over at your wife you notice a fork in the road.

“I’m just trying to remember which way to go my love” Squinting hard like she was envisioning a big sign saying this way. “I think it's right” starting to turn the car to go right you place a hand on her thigh.

“I’m pretty sure its left darling”

“No I am sure it is right” Larissa starts the car again “and I am pretty sure it is left” you scowl and let out a huff. Larissa turns to stare at you with that look that says ‘don’t be a brat right now.'

“Ok go right just don’t complain to me when you realize you went the wrong way” now it's Larissa’s turn to scowl and she takes the right turn. Smirking when she reaches the main road and lifting a brow to say ‘I told you so’.

You stick your tongue out at her and she rolls her eyes at you. The rest of the drive was smooth sailing and it was dark once the car rolled up outside the school, a storm had arrived at the same time and thunder was booming in the distance.

Jumping at the strike of lightning the two of you grab your bags as fast as possible making your way through the dim and empty school to your shared quarters. None of the teachers were arriving till tomorrow so it would just be the two of you as the grounds keeper and cleaners would be home hours ago.

Unpacking you notice Larissa is nowhere to be seen, huffing you unpack the last of everything and go hunting for your wife. Noticing a glow of light coming from under the door to her office you knock lightly as the door swing slowly open to the most beautiful sight before you.

Slowly you come up behind her as she gazes into the fireplace the fire roaring before you. Wrapping your arms around her waist resting your tired head on her back, feeling the tension release from her you lay kisses along her shoulders.

Turning in your arms you couldn’t help but smile up at her beautiful face, she was like an angel sent from heaven the fire casting a halo-like effect over her, but little did you know she was going to be the devil.

“You were being very bratty earlier darling” she pulled away from your arms and moved to sit in the armchair beside the glowing embers. “I think you should be punished for how you acted towards your mistress”

Blinking slowly, you realized what feeling she was making run through your body. The wave of excitement traveled down your spine, leaving chills all over your back. Licking your lips, faking a look of innocence for your mistress.

Patting her thigh, you slowly moved to lay across her legs, “I’m sorry Mistress.” Your core was already starting to throb with need as you lay over her like a good little pet for her.

“Oh, I don’t think sorry is going to cut it right now baby” running her hands up over your legs digging her nails in leaving red marks in her wake making you shiver and arch into her more. Reaching your core, she continues dragging her nails and suddenly rips your panties off, making you jump in her lap and even more juices gather and begging for her to taste.

A low seductive chuckle rises from Larissa it almost sounded like a growl and, you knew you were in for a real punishment tonight. Lifting your skirt, she roughly clawed up them from your core, lifting her hands to land rough spanks.

Crying out and yelping “Mommy please” you beg with her after each spank until your ass was glowing bright red and the heat from the fire was not helping with the pain, but the pleasure mixed with it was all-consuming.

“Oh, you want to please mommy? Let me see how good you're being” running her fingers through your folds, her fingers instantly drenched with your juices. Feeling her long fingers run through you was so painstakingly good, you had to stop yourself from gutting your hips back and displeasing mistress.

“Oh, look how good you’re being” licking her fingers clean moaning at how divine you tasted on her tongue. God, you wished you could suck those fingers, your thoughts earning a whimper as you stop yourself from drooling.

“Up you get” Barely giving you an opportunity to get up from her lap you fall to the floor scrambling to your feet, whimpering at the fabric of your skirt brushing against your burning cheeks.

Grabbing and pouring a glass of wine Larissa rested back into her seat, “play with yourself darling I want to see my little plaything warm herself up for me”

 A warmth runs up your face with her request and you shuffle on your feet “don’t go shy on me now, you were a whimpering messy slut just now” sipping on her whine she takes you by the waist guiding you to staddle her. Your dripping core meeting her front making it throb even more at the friction.

“Come on be good for mommy” she takes your hand with her free hand guiding it down, rubbing them over your dripping cunt. Moaning you dropped your head to rest it on her shoulder “fuck mommy” bucking your hips the new stimulation sending shock waves straight through your entire body.

“Keep going I want to watch you” She starts to strip you as you pleasure yourself over her, your fingers gliding over your core and how that you were free from clothes you used your free hand to grab your breast. Palming it as you pinched your own nipples, getting lost in the pleasure you were building you closed your eyes as your head fell back your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

Larissa couldn’t help but watch you, the way your eyebrows knitted together and the way you bit down on your bottom lip it was like a goddess had come down to bless her with your mere presence. Sipping on more wine Larissa drank all of you in her eyes roaming every inch of you.

The pleasure in you had built too quickly you didn’t think you would have been so close to cumming but here you were writhing above her gasping for air. “cum for me darling I want to see you”

All it took was those words, her voice was raspy from the wine sending that last piece of pleasure breaking the dam, a shiver running up your back. “Yes mommy” you cried out for her letting her know that she was the last piece you needed. Your hands jolted as the lingering pleasure ripped through you, slowing down once the stimulation got too much.

“oh no baby keep going” she took your hand again making you apply more pressure and picking up the speed. “It’s too much mommy” your hand falters in her grip but she keeps going making you rub your clit as your body shakes from the overstimulation.

“Let mommy help you” setting her glass down on the table beside her Larissa runs her fingers through your folds, slowly inserting her fingers inside your pussy instantly clenching around her. Biting the inside of your mouth you tried to regain your focus, the pleasure of everything was drowning you. Your eyes flutter open to look at Larissa who was licking her lips, her eyes were burning with desire, and it looked animalistic.

“Keep going until I decide you can stop lovely” her free hand guided your hips to thrust down onto her fingers. You were fucking yourself on her fingers and nothing could be hotter, you were on fire your whole body was burning up and the only thing that could fix it was those long fingers that were reaching those deep spots inside you that make your toes curl.

“Fuck mommy it feels so good” her grip tightening on your hip was strong enough to leave marks. Her other hand was still holding your hand in place making you rub your clit, moving your hand to move faster over your swollen clit.

Your legs were shaking the overstimulation was immense and not having a break between your first orgasm had you gasping and panting as your next one was building too fast for you to keep up with. She kept hitting that perfect spot in you pulling sinful moans and cries from your lips.

“God you look like a sinful mess baby” leaning forward she laid a soft kiss behind your ear making your knees buckle ever so slightly making her fingers hit even deeper. A scream of pleasure was all you could make and she attacked your neck.

She was ruthless as she bit and suck leaving deep red marks along your neck, it was unbearable the pleasure that was consuming you “Pl..please please I'm going to cum” sobbing as she bit that sensitive spot, you went ridged as you gushed over her fingers.

Screaming curses you shook, feeling like you were being torn in half with the sparks flying through your body as you came all over her fingers. “yessss just like that for mommy, let it go, ride it out”

Forcing your hips to keep moving as you shook, Larissa grinned you were a masterpiece of a mess and she was the artist. Licking over your bruised neck she slowly withdrew her fingers and it finally felt like you could breathe again and your body slumped against her.

“oh baby I am not finished with you yet” hooking her arms under your legs she stood and you scrambled to grab onto her holding tight. Your pulse quickened realizing there was more to come, your pussy was throbbing and you didn’t know how much more you could take.

You could feel the cold wood on your back as she lay you down over her desk, taking a step back to gaze over your sweat slicken body. “fuck you are so beautiful like this” your eyes were closed as you tried to catch your breath still and you could hear the faint noise of a zipper over the blood thumbing in your ears.

Next was the still new but familiar sensation of Larissa’s new favorite toy and also your new favorite, she ran her cock through your folds making sure her tip rubbed up against your clit spending more shock waves through you, jumping on the table from the over stimulation.

“Is it still too much for you baby?” Your pussy was a mess it was throbbing and spasming still and Larissa had no intentions of slowing down. Moving her shaft to your entrance she slowly pushed just her tip in, as if mirroring each other both of you had your eyes rolling back.

“Yes, mommy but it's so good” whining your answer right back at her, Larissa’s knees almost buckled with how good you felt, your over-stimulated pussy clenching around her instantly and almost pulling her over the edge. Resting her head on your shoulder she worshipped your body leaving kisses across your skin.

“Good girl” She started her thrusts going slow so she could torcher you a little longer but also so she wouldn’t cum so quickly. You were a beautiful mess below her, and she wanted to worship you, she wanted to get down on her knees and pray to your dripping temple.

“You’re my good girl baby, you’ve done so well tonight” Biting down on your ear lobe you pulled your tired arms to wrap around her running your hands through her hair and pulling her closer to you so she can continue her prayers over your skin.

She couldn’t stop touching you all over one of her hands held one of your legs so they could stay wrapped around her while the other ran over your neck caressing down to reach your breast palming it in her hand “I love your body so much darling it’s a gift from the gods just so I can defile it with my lust”

Throwing your head back whimpering you clench harder around her shaft, you loved her fingers but having her inside you filling you fulling and stretching you deliciously as your pussy wrapped around her.

Picking up the pace Larissa started to gasp and whimper as she continued her travels along your body, swapping her hand on your breast for her mouth causing you to scream out more and your legs tighten pulling her deeper within earning a thrust to that special spot deep inside nearly making you black out.

The room was filled with the sounds of slapping skin as Larissa drove deeper continuing to hit that spot now that she found it. “I... I’m going to ahh” trying to talk was so hard your brain was mush at this point and stringing a sentence together was getting more and more difficult as your walls began to tighten but Larissa knew what you were going to say, she could feel it and she wanted it so badly.

“That good baby you cum for mommy, I’m so close too I want to fill you up while you milk me dry”

The next sound you make was a scream that ripped all the air out of your lungs, it was like you could see the stars and the heavens above but you were slammed back down to earth when you heard Larissa’s growl as she came to her climax.

It was animalistic the way she drove herself deeper making sure you took every inch of her, she was drowning in you her eyes her as dark as the night sky as the lust and feel of you drove her to fill you with every drop. She was ridged as she bit down hard on your shoulder, she was shaking as the pleasure coursed through her.

It took a moment for you both to grab your breaths but having her collapsed against your body helped ground you and you couldn’t be more thankful for that. It took Larissa a minute more to come back but you didn’t mind as you curled her loose strands of hair around your fingers while the other soothingly ran up and down her back.

“That was amazing darling” huffing out a breath as she changed her core back to its natural beauty, so she didn’t hurt you by having to slide out. "you weren't so bad yourself" giggling like a child at her.

“Let's get you cleaned up” On wobbly legs, she scooped you up in her arms to carry you back to bed. Laying you so gently onto the bed and gracing your face with feather-light kisses, Larissa was always a completely different person after sex she was so caring and attentive to you always making sure you were well taken care of.

Fetching a cool cloth she cleaned you up and wrapped you up in a blanket, “get some rest darling” moving to get off the bed you grab her wrist.

“Cuddles?” putting on your best doe-eyed look knowing she’ll never refuse you and cuddles. A big smile grew on your face as she pulled the blankets back to curl up beside you. “Always my love” wrapping her arms around you pulling you closer into her embrace.

The thunderstorm had started to fade away and the room was filled with the soft rumbling of distant thunder and soft breaths as you kissed her softly to sleep thinking to yourself how lucky you were to have this woman wrapped up in your arms.

…

It had been a month since your little getaway and the students had been back for a while, unfortunately a flu had been going around the school and no one could escape it. You had been one of those victims of the sickness that plagued you for 2 weeks now.

Here you were slumped over the toilet for the millionth time today, not even making it to the staff toilets you had to charge into the students to expel what little of breakfast you had left in your stomach.

The students inside were certainly startled and ran straight out as you heaved, resting your head over the cold stall wall you heard a familiar sound of heels travelling down the hall outside. “Love!?” Larissa called out for you, and you cursed the student that went running to the principle, you didn’t want to concern her and it had taken you a week just to convince her to let you return to work.

“I’m ok Larissa jus...” the stall door flew open the light shining in and Larissa gasped at the sight of you. Your hair was a mess and you were so pale it scared her, swooping you in her arms she stormed down the hall. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you go back to work”

Kicking the door open to your private quarters she gently lay you down on the sofa “we are going to the doctor” you begin to interject but she shushes you earning a scowl.

“you have had this flu for 2 weeks now and you just keep getting worse darling!” she was rushing around the flat grabbing her things together and your coat. “we cant go now Larissa I have classes!”

“I have already had Professor Yen fill in for you, they will cover for you until we get this sorted”

#larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #larissa x you #fanfiction #smut #principal weems #gwendoline christie #larissa weems smut #mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy?

[le-trash-prince]

Pit Babe Ep 13 Thoughts

Overall I enjoyed the episode and I’m okay with how it ended—ships aside, it met with where my expectations were, even though I was holding on by the skin of my teeth for at least SOMETHING more with the side characters (NOT EVEN NORTHSONIC??). But I think if I had watched without engaging with Change2561’s marketing, I wouldn’t be feeling this way. MOSTLY I’M JUST CONFUSED ABOUT WHY THEY MARKETED GHOST SHIPS LIKE DO THEY KNOW I’M JUST THAT SAD ENOUGH OF A SHIPPER I’LL EAT CRUMBS OFF THE GROUND???

I think there’s a lot more they could have done with the ending, but the main focus did need to come back to Babe’s story, and that’s what they focused on. I will hold out hope for something additional like a S2 or a special ep or spinoff, but we all know productions like this can fall apart even with the intention to make a second season 🤡

Personally, my biggest fear was Kenta dying, I swear to god I took psychic damage everyone someone said he was gonna die. Especially with how similar Garfield’s background is to Kenta’s, it wouldn’t have sat right with me if they had put an actor through that? ANYWAYS I WON IN THAT ASPECT, KENTA GOT HIS FUCKING KNIFE TIME and I’ll go into my (satisfied) feelings about his arc later (y’all already know I can’t shut up about the man)

With that said, I haven’t really processed that Way is actually dead, even tho the signs had been there, I kept hoping he would pull through?? BUT I GUESS NOT… This would prob be my one major disappointment but anyways I’m just gonna ignore that it happened

I was talking with my friend afterwards complaining about how Kenta stabbed Tony and then literally disappeared, like not even a “standing in the distance at Way’s funeral” shot like how much fic are we gonna have to write?

Me: god like I was still emotionally invested in what was happening but in every scene my brain is in the background like a dog going “where’s Kenta where’s Kenta where’s Kenta” friend: Yeah I could hear you Me: … was I saying that out loud? friend: Yeah like Way was literally dying on the ground and you’re like “where’s Kenta” me: oh my GODDDD WAY I’M SO SORRY I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA MAGICALLY PULL THROUGH!!! me: I’M SORRY WAY

Mostly I’m just glad they didn’t blow the ending in a way that the fandom wouldn’t survive. But things are open enough that there’s endless potential for fic and headcanons and such. I really do love this show and this fandom and the cast a lot and I wanna live here for a long time 🥺 I’m glad we’ve got the fanmeeting coming up soon (maybe they’ll even do some skits) along with the MVs!

#pit babe #pit babe the series #em post #pit babe spoilers #sorry to the way fans but like he’s still alive so

[fariesoiree]

minors mdni

hobie is always down to help you study.

it starts on a wednesday night. you’re both lazing around in your apartment. candles are the main source of light and the smell of lemon zest wafts through the walls. tyler the creator’s dogtooth is lulling through your kuromi speaker.

it’s hobie’s choice. you both knew you’d be too focused to fiddle around with the music. if given a choice, you will turn into a two hour doom scrolling session of funny videos and cute cats anyway.

you’re lying on your stomach, neck deep in your pink ipad. hobie lays behind your with your feet on his chest. he absentmindedly runs his fingers along your calves. occasionally, his fingers dig into the muscle and provide you with temporary relief.

he catches up on his usual forums, criticizing the government and the rich. it’s bit ironic, he knows, to be so deeply in love with you but hate where you come from. his morals go out the window with you, though. especially when you turn and look at him with a sad brown eyes and a grimace. all he wants to do is remove hardship from you life, forever.

unfortunately, he has to be realistic and there is only so much he can do. “what?” his hands rub over the balls of your feet, covered in frilly white socks.

you’re always complaining you’re cold, despite never actually getting up to change the temperature and wearing the thinnest layers of clothes. today is no different. you’re wearing a flowy white tank top with matching shorts. he tells you it reminds him of a paper bag. you tell him to shut up.

“i don’t wanna do this anymore.” your cheek drops to your bed amid your complaining. your brain is fried with all the unnecessary reading you’re being forced to do. what you thought was supposed to be a quick little study session turned into hours of you curating a study guide for this unit.

hobie stopped by a while ago, bringing takeout with him. he originally came when you both thought you’d be finished soon but seeing how you weren’t, he stays by your side to keep you company.

“then don’t.” he shrugs. he’s not being helpful, he’s aware, but he never went to college and he doesn’t plan on it. like he will ever spend years at a government institution and follow their rules just to get a piece of paper. “ ‘s all a scam, anyway. meant to keep the average person down and pump ‘em right out to capitalism.” he looks up from his screen, his apologetic smile all mocking and sarcastic. “not that you would know anythin’ ‘bout that. basically invented it yourself.”

you narrow your gaze and huff when you turn away. “you’re so annoying.” if he didn’t have a hold of your leg, you definitely would have kicked him in his jaw. “not everyone got bit by a radioactive spider and is in a band.” you grumble into the palm of your hand.

at this, hobie is scoffing. he sits up, pushing your legs onto his lap. you can feel his finger between your shoulders and can only guess he’s pointing at you. “be serious, love. when’s the last time you spent your own money?”

“that’s not what we’re talking about!” you whine, both to evade his question and display the distress currently ruining your day. “i’m tired of this. just wanna download it into my brain.”

the screen of your ipad goes dim, as if on purpose. it’s reminding you of the control is has on you when you tap it to pull it out of sleep mode. you much rather would like to chuck it across the room but then you’d have to buy a new one. not only does that entail spending money you didn’t want to spend but also an earful from your boyfriend about how wasteful you are. about how you’re fueling the fucked up ethics surrounding consumers and producers.

you didn’t want to experience either.

“okay, okay.” hobie’s pointing finger is eventually replaced by his hands. they engulf your shoulders but press and roll them till you’re no longer as tense. “tell me how i can help.” he peers over your side to get insight on your progress. all he sees in a bunch of words, having no concept of what you’re studying. he’s willing to help, though, how ever you’ll have him.

you shake your head with a drawn out sigh. at this point, you need a break. maybe it would be better to come back with a fresh mind and clean slate. “you can’t. i’m just not gonna finish ever.” you snap the apple pencil back in its case and flip the cover over the top.

you officially give up, pushing the tablet away from you. your body flops on top of your mattress and your eyes flutter closed. what else are you to do than take a nap and hope your study guide studies itself. “jus’ won’t do it.”

hobie rolls you over by your waist. you didn’t protest and he likes that. it’s so easy for you to snowball and begin to complain about everything. he lets you, knowing you’re just expressing your frustrations but he can’t deny that he still likes to prevent it when he can.

“you been buggin’ me all week about how you need to pass this test. you’re not going to not do it.”

you feel the mattress dip from his weight when he leans to pluck your ipad up from above you. you gripe and grouse loud enough for him to hear you only to be met with it plopped down right in your chest.

you just barely open one of your eye to see if he’s serious about his opposing stance. when you see him looking right back at you, you know he is and that only further annoys you. “but i’m not doing it, not right now. i can’t.”

he pulls you until you’re seated, despite your purposefully limp body making it difficult. “you don’t really have a choice, sweets.” if you don’t do it now when he’s here to hold you accountable, you won’t do it at all. “i’ll help you. come on.”

“you can’t.” your exasperated by his insistence. he’s always like this, always forcing you to do things you don’t want to. in hindsight, you’re grateful because it’s usually something you really should do. “you don’t even know what i’m talking about.”

“i don’t have to know what you’re talking about to help you. you’re one studying, not me.”

you have no idea how much has passed since that conversation. truthfully, you have no idea if time is passing at all.

how your study session escalated like this, you have no idea. hobie and his infinite horniness is really the reason behind this, as he is with almost everything.

“read the next line.” he speaks from above you. he’s still seated, however you’re lying on your stomach again. you’re back, focusing the best you can due to the conditions of this time being. your bonnet is hanging halfway off your head from all the sliding you’ve done.

hobie is gripping one of your ankles, the other free to move behind his back. unlike other times you take too long to follow directions, he states his piece again. “i know you heard me, babydoll.”

it originally started out pretty enjoyable. you’d read out your little facts, tell him what it meant, show him you understand. in return, he’d praise you with soft words and grind the baby blue vibrator against your clit.

the first few times, you found the waves of your orgasms to be pleasant. it served as the perfect incentive to motivate you to study. however, now is an entirely different story. instead if a reward, it operates as a punishment. you’ve been pushed far past the point of overstimulation and lost count of the number of times hobie had you creaming all over yourself.

your lips tremble and you do your best to ignore the soft buzzing between your legs. much to your dismay, it’s still on and on the lowest setting. how long is stays like that is up to you. “in – infants first experience trust versus mistrust.” your hand flies behind you when he presses just right. the usually enjoyable feeling is underlined with pain and has you wanting to snap your legs close.

“move it before i do,” hobie says after giving you opportune time to correct your decision. he doesn’t like being mean with you, would much rather spoil you and never see you lift a finger. sometimes he does have to put his foot down, though he never really revels in it.

you hesitate, blubbering about how rude and unhelpful he is. you’re only lifting one finger at a time off his wrist. he wouldn’t care if you weren’t simultaneously attempting to pull away from him.

“gonna tell you again one more time, angel.”

your hand is gone before he finishes his sentence.

you don’t see hobie smile your obedience but you hear it, hear how lighthearted his voice is when he speaks again. “so trust and whatever. what about it?”

he’s still so gentle with you even like this. he only holds tight enough to keep you still and sometimes he takes pity on you. like this time when he turns the vibrator off. just enough to let you think.

you can’t think, though. you’re blank and growing more restless the longer nothing forms in your head. it’s such a simple topic until there’s three different people who theorize the meaning behind it. “something with nature and nurture, i think.”

“something? you think?”

hobie can’t believe what he’s hearing. you knew your fate when you said it, yet you continue to speak it. to your defense, you weren’t all that confident in your response. if it didn’t align with what you said before, he’d catch it and somehow you would end up back in this situation again. either blamed for not expanding earlier or for being incorrect now.

“it’s not a direct response,” you immediately defend yourself. you look over your shoulder, hoping to plead and response. “psychology is like a big written response test. everyone’s brain isn’t the same.”

he cocks his head, tenderly stroking your calf. by now, he’s used to your excuses and isn’t interested in negotiating the answers with you. “yeah? is your test written response?”

you suck your teeth and face the decorative pictures on the wall in front of you. what does he want you to do? break into the classroom and take the answer sheet? “you’re so mean to me. you hate me.”

hobie only rolls his eyes at your dramatics. while he did expect it at some point, your constant protests still has the same effect on him. “you’re such a crybaby. not gonna be sayin’ that when you pass.”

he turns the vibrator back on and reinstates his grip on your leg. he doesn’t have to, not with the way you collapse. your face is in your hands, muffling your garbles. if it was any other day, he’d feel betrayed. how dare you keep him from hearing what sounds he’s causing. today though, he’s more lenient.

you’re trembling when he circles it between your folds. you reach, seizing a hold of your cinnamroll build-a-bear. you feel a bit of guilt for your poor bear having to witness such lewd acts but the feel disappears the moment he turns it on the highest setting.

it’s so sudden, both the settings change and how quickly a weak watery stream comes out of your pulsating hole. you shriek through the rhythmic clenching until you’re whimpering.

your pussy is aching, tightening around nothing and begging to be filled. your clit may be sensitive but your need is not yet satisfied. “oh my god ‘bie. can you please just fuck me. i’ll study and be quiet and do whatever you want. please.”

hobie only laughs. it’s genuine though, soft and sweet when he pats your lower back. “can’t baby. that’s not what we’re doing here. if you do well next week, maybe.”

you feel like crying. how much longer did he intend on doing this? how much longer are you going to be tortured? is this how you die? you know your complaints would be ineffective in receiving the results you want so you sniff, sucking it up. you’ll just agree for now and get what you want later.

surely enough, on next tuesday you’re excited to show him your high marks. thanks to his unconventional methods, you make a ninety-four. and just as he’s suggested, you’re rewarded with an amazing night full of no sleep.

#ִ ࣪✮🕷✮⋆˙ #astv hobie #hobie brown #hobie smut #hobie x black!reader #hobie x reader #hobie x y/n #x black fem reader #x black reader #x reader

[fuck-customers]

I would like examine the brains of (well...most customers to find out wtf is wrong with them, but this one customer specifically) this one regular.

I do not know why this miserable old bat keeps shopping here. To make our day worse? Probably.

There's this one regular that I call Butthole Face, because she's always pissed off and her mouth is always scowling and scrunched and it formed lines around her mouth making it look like a bootyhole, so...Butthole Face is her name in my head.

(Her real name is actually Karen, which is...so fitting)

ANYWAY, Butthole Face has been shopping at my work/my particular location for at least 5 years, probably more. I know this because I had coworkers who worked here longer than me who told me she had been coming in since THEY started. She complains about anything and everything. Every. Single. Time she comes in the store.

Her main "complaint" 99% of the time used to be that "the bathrooms were FILTHY!!" but it was her who was full of shit, because every time she bitched and moaned, we (a lot of times I, personally) would actually go and check it to see if we needed to clean or close them. And every single time, the "huge, FILTHY mess" was...a single piece of (CLEAN) toilet paper on the ground. Or a (CLEAN) paper towel on the ground that someone missed throwing in the garbage can. Thank fuck the bathrooms are closed now.

Butthole Face would also complain that the store itself was "filthy" or that a specific area/aisle was "filthy" when 90% of the time, there was one item out of place.

Her other stunt was never "understanding" the sale signs and always bringing up items that were not on sale and insisting the were when really they were just NEXT to the sale items. The first time, that's an honest mistake. The 100th? We don't buy it, bitch. (And to be clear, it was always stuff that was not even a little bit similar to the sale sign. The sale sign would say the yarn was bogo and she would bring up a thread and blame us when it wasn't on sale) Every time, Butthole Face would demand a manager to "prove" to the manager that she was right and every time, the manager or another coworker would bring up the paper sale sign, prove to the bitch that those items were not part of the sale, then she'd claim that we were breaking the law for "false advertising" which....is not how that works. lmao You misunderstanding a sale sign isn't false advertising. And even if we were actually false advertising...so? You really think anyone is gonna bother prosecuting me, personally, a lowly employee for it? Get real.

I'm not sure if she's just a heinous bitch with no life or hobbies and has nothing better to do or if she's trying very, very badly to scam the store. Which, if she is....give up? You've fucked up by making yourself so noticeable and unbearable that every employee recognizes you on sight because they've had an unpleasant experience with you in the past and you're an known attempted scammer/complainer so we keep an eye on you. (I, personally warn the new hires about her, so even new people who haven't had an interaction with her yet know of Butthole Face)

Posted by admin Rodney.

[sylverstorms]

Daniela x Maiden ---- Hunted Ch.8 (NSFW)

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7

They say if you can master yourself, you can master everything. 

You have years of hunting and self-taught combat to aid you in that department. Sharp senses, rapid reactions, great hand-eye coordination to work alongside your sturdy body. All of these traits have preserved your wellbeing on multiple occasions and are undeniably your greatest strengths. 

So it is ironic that, in a mere moment, they can also become your greatest weakness. 

One minute you are lounging in your bed, reading an old Romanian folklore book that piqued your interest from the main library. You are absorbed in the light stories and drawings there, of wish-granting fairies and trees with wills of their own, so much that your eyes begin to droop. 

And then a strong gust of wind comes from outside. Whatever miniscule gap exists in the locking mechanism of your window allows the air to move the flimsy curtain covering it ever-so-slightly. At the same time, the very corner of your eye registers movement. A shadow; a bat, a monster, a trick of the light –it doesn’t matter. 

It sets you off like a fire alarm. 

Suddenly, you are leaping high into the air, eyes wide, frantic, you are bursting out of your room and you cannot breathe. That’s all it takes. Literally all it takes for you to fall apart; one stray little stimulus caught by your hunter senses and misinterpreted by your mind.

You’d smack straight into the opposite side of the corridor, if it wasn’t for the warm body you crash into, instead. The person unfortunate enough to be tackled into the wall manages to conceal the collision with a soft grunt. Their knees do not hit the ground when yours do. You’d apologize, if only you could find your voice. If your brain wasn’t closing in on you with thoughts of impending doom. If the roof wasn’t coming down to crush you– 

“Hey, hey. Seren, take it easy.” A familiar, smoky voice calls your name. Firm digits press at your shoulder. 

That… breaks you out of your panic mode a little. At least your body stops shaking. Surely, it’s a start. You suck deep breaths into your lungs, until you can finally look up to confirm who it is. Fine dark hair. Hazel eyes. Attractive jawline. Alexia crouches beside you so you don’t have to crane your neck up to meet her gaze. 

“Are you alright? What happened?” she asks and her calmness is infectious. 

“I–I almost fell asleep and then… I thought something outside my window moved.” God, you hate how breathless you sound. “I fucking –lost it.” 

She doesn’t say anything at first, merely lets you count inhales and exhales while her eyes scan your room. “Can’t be a Samce; they don’t normally fly this low or approach the warmer parts of the castle.” she muses, more to herself than you. “Probably just a bat.”

You nod when your heartbeat stops pounding raw pain across your chest. “Yeah. This a thing that… happens.” Not often, but it does. Not that you could ever get used to this kind of impact.

“Sorry to hear that.” Alexia's lips press together. You take her offered hand to stand on your feet again. “Do you want to join me for a while?” 

“Ah… wouldn’t want to keep you up.” you hesitate. 

“Don’t worry about that. I think I’ll wait for Cassandra to return from her hunt, anyway.” she shrugs. 

The two of you take slow, unhurried steps towards the human staff’s common room. You make sure to keep your voices down, not to disturb any of the other women sleeping as you pass by the locked doors of their chambers. Nobody wants to deal with complaining and death-glares come morning. 

At your destination, Alexia pours you both some whiskey, hands you your glass and takes a seat beside you on the couch. Unlike most people, she doesn’t feel the need to fill the silence with smalltalk. You appreciate the time she gives you to completely cool down. 

“It’s not like you, to freak out like that.” comes the comment, eventually. 

“It is, though.” It's a bitter reply, complete by taking a healthy gulp of alcohol that leaves a much-needed burn down your throat. “I’m not fearless like you.”

“I’m… what, now?” A thin eyebrow raises. “I think you’ve got the wrong person there.”

“No.” You shake your head. “The other maids talk of what you did. You were the first ever to escape. As well as the spark that improved living conditions here for the staff.” What guts that takes is beyond your comprehension. 

“I improved living conditions for myself.” Alexia corrects. “Rhiannon advocated for the rest, not me. I’m not that selfless or that good.” So she says, but you are inclined to disagree. 

“Well, anyway. You’re dating Cassandra.” There. Point made. If that doesn’t scream ‘fearless’, nothing does.  

The edge of Alexia’s mouth quirks up. “Not for lack of fear.” 

That answer, you were not expecting. It makes you shift your body towards her, the question evident in your expression. “...Really?”

“Of course. Do you know how long it took for my blood not to turn to ice, at that feral look she got in her eyes when hungry?” You never could have imagined she felt the same as you. Cassandra and she always look so comfortable together. “Before I ever spoke to her, she was the Dimitrescu I feared the most.”

“And how did you overcome that?” you animatedly ask. 

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” The words come out perfectly even. “Once I realized that, I could set it aside more and more. At first, it was for benefit. Then, it was for love. Until it disappeared entirely.” 

Well, that is… enlightening. 

“Everyone has phobias and traumas, Seren, whether they are aware of them or not. Trust me, the Dimitrescus are no different than us in that regard.” Indeed, you’re starting to see that. “And maybe that’s the root of the problem. Healthy relationships are hard to build between wounded people.”

Wounded...

“Whatever is haunting you, you should talk about it. In time.” And with that, she finishes her drink. “Rhiannon is best suited to these kinds of things but… you also know where to find me.”

You smile. Raise your glass to that. 

–

–

The daughters return in the ungodly hours of the morning. You hear the exact moment the heavy gates groan open from the top of the staircase, the hushed giggles that follow. Three dark, buzzing blurs make a beeline for the lit fireplace, where their figures solidify. 

Cassandra is the first to push back her hood, head turning towards her girlfriend in the same swift motion. The dim firelight brings out the inhuman gold in her eyes that much more, gleaming like a cat’s. Rich blood coats the lower half of her lips and neck, glistens like a morbid jewel on her too-pale skin. Her smile is that of a wolf’s. 

Your blood pressure rises from it, but Alexia regards her coolly, almost fondly. She’s prepared for the predator flashing in front of her face, as opposed to you, pushing backwards in pure, unrestrained reflex. But the wolf seems more and more domesticated the longer she stays there, locked in a staring competition with a human. 

What surprises you is the fact she’s not looking down on a lesser, weaker species than herself. She sees her equal. 

“Don’t you dare–” Alexia begins, but Cassandra has already pressed a bloody glove to her chin and made a point of dragging it down her neck. 

“Now you need a bath, too.” A wink. “Don’t worry if it doesn’t come right off. I’ll just have to lick hard–”

“Too much information.” Bela knocks her shoulder into her sister’s on her way up the final step in a way that's no accident. 

The low, answering growl would send most people running for the hills. Instead, the blonde ignores it, brings her hand up in a bored little wave as she passes you by. And then… the third shadow joins you, the smears on her lower face as red as her hair.  

“Hey. I thought you’d be sleeping at this hour.” Daniela says, the quiet softness of her voice dizzyingly out of place against her bloodied image. “Miss me that much?” Subtly heterochrome eyes crinkle underneath her hood.

“Let’s go with that.” You reply. 

“Well, since you’re up…” she drags the word out. “Mind drawing me a bath?” Puppy eyes. You get puppy eyes from the baby wolf of the family. 

And of course… you’re not immune to them. 

Which is why, five minutes down the line, you find yourself standing in the bathroom connected to her bedchambers, pointedly staring at the door as Daniela undresses –surely, she could do it faster?– and slips into the water behind you. You keep your mind on the decor, your back to her despite how it unnerves you, until the water has drained twice and she assures you you can look. 

Slowly, you peek with one eye over your shoulder. True to her word, the steaming bathtub is now filled with salts and bubbles, the metallic scent and hue of blood gone. Daniela is laying back amidst the foam like a princess waiting to be painted, long crimson hair sticking to the marble surface that is almost as pale as her skin. 

If you didn’t know what kind of monster she is, seeing her all relaxed here and looking up at you underneath those long lashes of hers, you’d think her a siren. Maybe she is one after all, because you approach, as if under a spell, the moment she motions you closer with a slight tilt of her chin. 

No wonder she smells so good, if this is what she bathes in every day. You wave the stray thought as soon as it forms in your head. You also make a point to keep your eyes above her collar.  

“I thought you don’t like having others around when you bathe.” you speak up, needing to steer your mind in a less intimate direction. This is the first thing you come up with, one of the first key pieces of information the older maids gave you about her. 

“Normally… no.” she admits as if also saying ‘you, I don’t mind’. “But then again I usually keep my head submerged.”

“Oh. I do that, too. The calming effect only works with cold water, though.” You’d know. You have sought out its icy embrace to numb your racing heart, your pain, your fears. Everything.

“Does it.” There’s doubt in her voice. A distant look in her eyes that makes her appear… older, for a moment. The kind that hints she’s tried this for the same reasons you have. Perhaps in a different life. 

You grimace. “The isolation part works, at least.” This is a road down loaded subjects you’re taking and it is too early –too draining– for that. You decide to steer your path in a lighter angle; “Anyway. Here I thought it was a modesty thing.” 

Daniela’s gaze shifts to yours, turning more mischievous by the millisecond and it feels oddly good that she’s back to being the little shit you know. “Modesty is not a thing~” She pushes herself forward as she says it, chest puffed out, bubbles pulled along rosy, pebbled nipples–

Until your hand shoots out and presses her back down by the shoulder. “I can see that, I believe you!” The water is scorching, but you don’t care. Your face burns more. 

Daniela giggles. 

–

–

You wait in her room while she dresses and dries her hair. Busy yourself by looking around, taking in details you missed the first time you were here. Like the blood-red rose preserved in crystalline resin she has at the corner of her desk, the scented candle on the opposite, an array of lipsticks and glosses and other girly things laid out before the vanity that bears her family crest. 

The click and soft hiss of the bathroom door make you pivot. It’s a good thing you did not take the rose into your hands to examine like you wanted, because you surely would have dropped it. 

When you brought her that black, folded nightgown, you never pictured it would hug her frame so sensually. Or that its design would purposely draw attention to her chest, or that she wouldn’t be bothered to tie it properly around her waist. 

The worst part is, none of it seems intentional, this time. Daniela is just lazily running a hand through her long hair, more focused on the pillows stacked at the head of her bed than you. She’s not even trying to be seductive and your stomach has been reduced to bits. 

Bad, bad, need to get out of here–

“Seren.” There goes your escape. “Come lay with me for a while?” Sitting up against the pillows with the covers at her middle, she pats the ample space next to her. “The bed is cold.” She’s not lying; her back is rigid, hands pressed to her biceps.

“You know, it’s really late and I do need to sleep…” you try.

“Kniiiiiight…” 

“Okay, okay, but only ten minutes!” As if the finger you hold up sets some kind of boundary in stone. 

Her bed didn’t seem so intimidatingly large last time. You pull back the covers on your corner as if they’ll bite you, then kick off your shoes and settle –with all the unbreathing fluidity of a log– half-reclining on your side, your temple resting against your fist. Daniela removes her two monster teddies from getting squished between you, sets them on her bedside table with a pat on each of their heads. 

And then… you feel her icy hands creep up your elbows. A slow sigh escapes her lips; her eyes flutter shut, head rolling closer to your shoulder.

You’re a heater for eight more minutes, that’s all you’re here for, you remind yourself over and over. But time begins to blur the closer she slides her body. Quarter… then half on top of you. 

It’s –almost– fine for as long as she’s cold. It keeps you on your toes, doesn’t allow you to sink into the royal comfort of her bed or into her. Yet… she doesn’t stay cold for long. 

Then her fingers roam up your deltoid, curl at your shoulder and her lips turn to find yours. Soft, too soft and plush, more parts lingering than kissing. Your mistake is getting greedy with what you’re given. 

You of all people know not to play with fire, but you do not stop your hand from caressing the bare skin of her stomach where her gown has pulled open. Not even when you feel the hitch in her breathing. Instead, you let your tongue take the invitation of her open mouth to tangle with hers. You miss the first alarm bell when she shifts her weight fully on the leg between hers, presses into you a bit harder, effectively pinning you down.

You don’t miss the second, when her mouth trails from the corner of yours to latch onto your pulse and too-sharp teeth graze your skin. Once. Only once. Once is enough to startle you out of your heady dream and into the danger of reality. You push at her, but she doesn’t register the force. 

“Daniela!” 

The sound of her name makes her snap back, lift herself off of you on her hands and knees. At least she does it immediately, which doesn’t necessarily set you at ease, but…

But you see how her chest is heaving and her arms are straining on either side of your head. She’s reigning her instincts back as promised, expression torn between guilty and painfully turned on. Scared that you’ll push her and run off. Scared you’ll be scared to come close again. 

And you should be. 

“I–I’m sorry.” she huffs. “I wasn’t going to bite. Just– a little mark?” she explains. “It’s the first time I feel so–” Whatever she was about to say, she doesn’t. Then she whispers, softly, “Please don’t leave me like this.”

The thing is... you don’t want to leave her like this, either.

Your own feelings shock you, yet you want to finish what you started, despite how the idea of that ‘little mark’ causes your chest to tighten. 

“Can you be good?” you whisper. 

Her eyes darken further in response. She nods. 

When you press at her shoulder and roll you both around, she puts up no resistance. And there is a startling appeal to be the one to pin her down like this, for her to allow it. To further reinforce your control, her hand carefully takes yours and guides it to her throat. 

She is being good. And she must be rewarded for it. Which is why your fingers slowly trail down her smooth skin, from her chest to her navel, then hooking into the waistband of her lacy underwear. It sticks so mesmerizingly to her legs as you slowly pull it down… 

A whimper escapes her lips the moment you touch her there. You swallow the next with your own when you press a bit further into velvet heat, establishing a rhythm between push, pull and the roll of your thumb. Daniela’s hands fly to the pillow beneath her head, gripping hard.

It’s less than two minutes later you feel how tense she is, her gasps and moans no longer muted. “Seren, Seren, I’m–”

You know she is. Her body breaks into a quaking shiver, her back arches and neck cranes. She’s beautiful and if all that is torn for you to witness this sight is a mere pillow, there won’t be enough reasons to stop you from seeking it out again in the future. 

You slowly guide her down her high, until the predatory golden glow in her eyes gives way to much gentler yellowish blue. She smiles like you’ve just discovered a new star and named it after her. Then she releases the death grip she has on whatever is left of her pillow and trails her hand down your middle. Asking for permission. For direction, too. 

After everything you’ve done, it takes only seconds for you to come apart on her fingers.

And then you get unbearably embarrassed, refusing to lift your head off her ruined pillow. She doesn’t seem bothered either way, sleepily playing with the spiky ends of your hair. Rolling, tugging. 

Way to turn a mess into an already bigger mess, you think. It’s kind of like your superpower, at this point. As if this whole situation –your whole situation– wasn’t bad enough before feelings made it to the mix. 

You are her first… and you’re about to become her first heartbreak.

Your mind begins to stress and race, until you hear her voice by your ear; “Oh, no. No, no.”

“Um…?” you lift your head cautiously. It will be easier if she regrets this. You brace yourself for it. Your heart. You can take pain and it is for the best, for everyone involved.

But Daniela is not looking at you. She’s looking at her stuffed monstrosities. 

“Babiesssss.” she tells them, then carefully slides a hand out of the covers to turn them around, so they’re facing the door. “I’m so sorry, I scarred you for life. Ugh, I’m terrible…”

You squint. Stare. 

“Seren.” She pats your nape. “You have to remind me to shield their eyes and ears next time.”

Wait.

Next time…?

#daniela dimitrescu x reader #daniela dimitrescu x oc #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #resident evil village #re8 #fanfiction #creative writing #SylverStorms #in which Daniela scars her monster babies for life

[sorcerous-caress]

You're right and I know you are but I actually got so upset that I am now violently sick. I am literally only sharing this because I am fairly certain you're also autistic and BPD but I hate so much that like the one time in mainstream media we are given a bi/pan man who is effeminate and prefers men but isn't a derogatory stereotype but every post about him is like He’s The Most Masculine, Actually and actually the reason we don't see him express attraction to women is because he's so shy actually ignore that he can hookup with Laezel who would not stand for that and is main character trait is confident (and I don't think I've started fights so at least there's that)

I used to not understand the problem with the Astarion fandom but then I came to painful realization he has straight fans who actually seem to hate his canon character

Anyway sorry for all the Bobstarion… gay bpd bitches are gay bpd bitching. You're the best for reading this tho 😭💀💚

I know this feeling very well anon.

You've completely summed it up, he is finally a non-derogatory representation of an effeminate queer man and straight fans burnt his canon to the ground so they can make their dream masculine babyboy shy twink.

God it fucking stings doesn't it? It literally hurts just to think about how much Larian risked by even putting Astarion in the game. A western game at that too where forum after forum are full of incels complaining about women not being inflatable sex objects in their game.

Baldur's gate 2 and 1 never was this inclusive, it was strictly hetro except for the remastered npcs. Astarion by himself probably made them lose half their "old-school" homophonic demographic.

And the fandom takes all of that and makes him another fucking joke of a character? All the people who have never played the game would search up the Astarion tag and get a completely wrong impression of him.

Not once did a character before him made me leave a game because I was disgusted with myself. His storyline and writing is phenomenal because I too objectified him at the start then the game called me out for it in act 3 and it changed my world view so much.

God did you know early access had Gale and Wyll be awkward if a male Tav hits on them? That only Astarion was the always accepting person regardless of gender?

Even now he is still the only male character between the two who openly expresses his interest in men! Who embraces being flamboyant and doesn't try to fit into a narrative.

I completely understand anon, and I know how much bpd and autism highlights these feelings and make them dig like nails at your brain. Yes I have them too. And I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to share your thoughts with me.

It must be more frustrating for you tho, for liking Astarion and being lumped in with the rest of his weird fans without your consent. You can't even filter their posts out because they treat their takes as "normal" and how it's not them belittling a queer character no! They're just being "wholesome"

Fuck the batstarion shit still gets on my nerves. I saw one with a baby bottle feeding him??? It just feels so infantilising because he isn't some cute animal he is a fully grown and matured person. If it's just a kink then sure idc but please tag it at least.

Then they make him "shy" around women. You know why that god awful take was probably born? Because most of his straight fans picked women and went into his romance. So they think that his clumsy personality in act 2 is because they're a woman and he is so used to men.

It's fucking disgusting, Astarion would treat both men and women with the same clumsy romance, all my Tavs were nonbinary and he never treated them differently.

You have every right to feel this way, you have every right to be furious at this. Especially with a character you care about so much.

But people will take advantage of that, people who want to start fights for the sake of fights or drama blogs who are itching to make a callout post. People don't like others poking holes in their logic no matter how good your intentions are.

Homophobia exists, racism too, look at how ignored Wyll is by these supposed fans. Look at how popular Gale x Astarion is than x Wyll because both of them are white.

It's okay to vent and it's okay to feel frustrated and stuck. God knows during some bpd episodes I come very close to deleting this blog bc of the smallest of reasons, so Imagine actually having a valid reason to be mad like you.

Take a step back, fuck those people honestly. Fuck anyone who ever did this shit just for their own self indulgence, who left all the media that panders to straight people and came and took Astarion too just to strip him of all of his traits and put him in the hetro box.

So leave them be, they suck, they're shitty and never willing to listen. Don't waste your frustration on them, it's better to yell at a wall, at least, unlike them, it might reply back with something productive one of those days.

Again, I hope you feel better soon. I genuinely do, these feelings suck beyond words can describe. Do something you like or revisit your favourite works that stay true to Asterion's character. Ground yourself with anything that might help.

Don't feed them or reply to their arguments, please. hopefully, they leave the fandom once the new manufactured tumblr sexyman is released and the Asterion tag.

#♡bob #♡bob Slander

[alicedrawslesmis]

I hope my presence here hasn't been just me complaining, cause I haven't dedicated myself to art in a while lol I am Burned Out... I don't like being a negative presence

in the Positivistic sense not in the new age sense? you know? not pretending to be happy when things are bad, I want my presence to be pulsating with life even if I'm sad or angry or numb. I try not to fall into negation. Most millennial humor I grew up with is this kinda ironic 'haha I'm so depressed 🤪' thing I just don't vibe with at all. I like feeling all my feelings. If I'm depressed and numb to it all then good, lets explore that. If I'm lost and aimless then good, let's be aimless and see where this can lead me to. I want to feel the full breadth of human experience and not live life negating it. I want to reflect on what I'm doing I want to create new things! Work with the world and not despite it

but unfortunately cause I'm totally lost at sea rn this means my posts are lacking and so the internet "persona" ends up being only someone who complains. That's not where I'm at. I don't even know if this makes sense to other people who can't see my brain, am I even making sense. Anyway

I am experimenting with a lot of things art-wise to get my groove on. I've bean reading a bunch. I've been lifting weights which is turns out is super fun and I should've started ages ago. Like I didn't believe the gym could be fun, I thought people were just faking it but it turns out like. It's just self expression like any other activity. And I love to see number go up. And I love making that face you do when you're lifting heavy weights you know the one? And grunting. It's very freeing to just be able to do that. Like all my life I've been bogged down by thinking the gym is for assholes and that I should try to do the Normal Sports that I honestly fucking hate. I hate ball sports. I don't understand swimming as a sport you're trapped doing laps in that freaking pool it's the most boring sport of all time. Sure I liked thinking about nothing and swimming but laps in a pool?? Devil invention. Running is kinda the same although you can run interesting places and aren't trapped in a blue rectangle. Just do the sport you actually want to do. Go to a fight club idk. Learn to kickbox. Punch some stuff. Do push ups, I love doing push ups.

What else? I've been walking my dog for 2hours every day late in the afternoon and getting to hang with his friends at the dog park. He isn't very friendly but he's also not aggressive so it's mostly chill. He's made a friend named Draco Malfoy (she made sure to tell me it was her kid daughter's idea) and everyone calls my dog Sirius Black cause he's got black fur and is, and this is the technical term, giant. Kind of annoying that Harry Potter is still the main thing people go to to describe him. Except for one security guard who I thought was gonna say he looks like Sirius but then said he looks like Sam from Twilight. This was an awesome day

I've been trying to sew and mend my clothes. I replaced the buckle in my bag cause it was broken and I feel kind of amazing about it.

I've been writing some stuff. All unfinished yet. I want to see if I can finish the short story I've been trying to work on besides the Les Mis scripts. I have trouble finishing things I write, which is a problem that, if AO3 is any indication, is probably the world's most common roadblock in writing.

Went to the satanic themed goth club on good friday, that was so fun. We had a blast. Place was PACKED. All goths have the same sense of humor.

I guess that's it for life stuff. I do feel kinda bad that I can't get myself to make fanart right now. I'm just having thoughts on the nature of art and of fanart and the impact of it on the world as a whole. And particularly thoughts on social media and the internet and what it even *is*. What is it for? We really need to work that out.

#personal #it's just a long post not a sad post. just little life updates

[understandableparadox]

Bottom of the barrel Isekai review

Today we are looking at the following, "The white cat's revenge as plotted from the dragon kings lap."

christ thats a long as title.

anyways, do you have a friend? no? yes? maybe? how nice, how do you treat them? how do you speak with them? how do you interact with them? while you are filling out this survey, could you be as kind as to fill out those silly little digits on that odd plastic card in your mothers purse for moi~?

no? well fuck you to.

the flowers, the painfully average looking protag, the specific notation about the eye color? we are about to dive into the live of a special young lady and her mystical adventures through whimsy and wonder.

anyways the story is that ruri, are main charecter lives a rather average life with her super importent dad and her super model mom, as the image stats, how could her life ever be distrupted in any form or fashion?

if you guess that a random girl made friends with her and followed her for most of her life until they both got sucked into a fantasy world and the kingdom decided the friend would be the priestess, then you would be correct~!

"But dox!" you say crawling out of my airvent "thats huge gap in time, what happened in between?"

well asashi and ruri had a rather odd relationship. you see, everyone fucking loves asashi, they are all in on ensureing that this random girls life is as easy as possible but at the expense of asashi. they will all work togather to do make sure asashi is happy while also bullying ruri.

do you feel that? thats the worm in my brain slowly getting into yours as more and more questions about this specific dynamic arise. some of them will be answered, but they will only be answered in a way that makes sure the worm Burrows Deeper.

first question: its clear ruri fucking hates asashi, why do i say shes her friend?

second question: Why are they friends? why hasent ruri made her leave her alone if she doesnt like her?

well to answer those questions...

as asashi is appointed the new priestiess ruri attempt to discover things about this kingdom, she learns from a priest that there is no way back home that they know of, nor are their any stories of a person summoned being Un summoned.

anyways we cant get any plot done here! we need to roundaboutly kick shit off while also makeing this asashis fault somehow!

so she ends up getting kicked from the castle, forced to wander the woods for the rest of her natural life, her mulchcore attitude persaudeing her to lay down and become one with it all...

ok no thats not what happens, she walks around a little bit, learns she is the greatest mage alive

, wanders presumably without food and water for five days, yes im screaming at the overpowered mc cliche once again just ignore it, where in she meets a old lady in the woods

who of course unlocks her

Special eyes of destiny

which allows her to see the collection of fucking creepy fairies that constently surround and are touching her at any given moment of the day.

I am lead to belive due to the daisies drawn in the back ground that this is supposed to be a moment of whimsy and joy, this image fills me with a special dread as it fullfills almost every single one of my autistic fears imagineable. night mare night mare nightmare.

anyways magic is discussed for a vary long time but oh fuck, we havent complained about asashi in five seconds, time to make a horrifying point about her!

this conclusion seems to be that no one can truly love asashi as all the love she will ever feel is artifically grown because of her magic. this also means that if you have a strong heart and a good soul you cannot love asashi because you would naturally and rightfully find her as annoying as ruri would. this is because ruri is the only one that can see her objectivly.

if you hare undergoing a string of panic that comes from the fundamental question that comes from the doubt of love from the sources in your life, dont worry, Ruri says she is annoying and bad and the story belives her to be objectivly correct so everyone belives that if they are good. you are a good person right?

growing dread aside, more plot, the fairys bend to the whim of ruri, all faries, meaning that unless you are a motherfucking wizard, the one source of universal and public magic has been cut off. all villagers that relied on water and fire magic have been cut off. farmers that need earth magic are cut off.

of course this is not her fault because again she is an objectivly good person with a good heart so she tut tuts the fairies for depriving villagers of clean drinking water and easy acess to heat and light for a week and the story moves on.

she learns more magic, she summons the fairy of time and they platoniclly flirt because ruri is a completely heterosexual girl.

the fairy of time is a simp and donates to her only dimensional space. one item of which is a bracelet that turns her into a cat, fulfilling one item on the title.

she goes to the market, her special chosen one powers make her super duper populer and people naturally want her advice and to give her money

wait a second, what time is it?

OH FUCK, WE HAVENT COMPLAINED ABOUR ASASHI IN A BIT!

SHE HAS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE OF ASASHI GIVING UP HER DREAM LIFE IN A FANTASY WORLD TO BE WITH HER, THIS IS CONSIDERED A BAD THING, IN ANY OTHER MANGA THIS WOULD BE CONSIDERED A ROMANCE TO END ALL ROMANCES

she decides to leave and go to the city of dragons because fuck it, thats a thing to do, she has to tell them she is the special chosen one with the blue eyes and blonde hair.

we cut for a second our lead.

as you can see the prince through his actions is a completely heterosexual man, one that loves Boobs And Vagina. as one can clearly Tell.

anyways the prince is creepy, he walks through town in disgues, happens upon ruri and without a second thought proceeds to do this:

gross.

anyways, the prince tells his homophobic advisors that he met a girl and they immeditly start a witch hunt for her while ruri enters the room as a cat to establish that again, she is the special chosen one of destiny.

anyways she meets the prince and nothing happens. the fairies threaten to kill everyone with the knowladge that ruri has apocalyptic plot armor.

now, to explain what a special chosen one is:

"hey dox, pre-emptivly asking a question, why would their ever be a chosen one? it seems their sole existance is to get a small scratch and make everyone die about it."

GREAT QUESTION, I DONT FUCKING KNOW, THEY APPERENTLY CAUSE PROSPARITY BUT I HAVE YET TO SEE IT, NOT EVEN A GOD DAMN DECENT 401K

anyways the prince gets Really attached to the Cat

Really Close.

this is explained through the fact that they have simalier wavelengths or similier magic types, meaning that they feel lonely without each other nearby.

the manga is astouindingly quick to stifle any comparison to asashi because remeber, asashi is Objectivly Bad and Unloveable.

Remember, Wanting to be friends with someone and not immeditly knowing if they like you or not makes you an objectivly Bad and Annoying person.

cut forward a bit, more werid cat flirting and she gets a job outside the palace... anyways she hears knews that the kingdom she was exiled from is wageing a war against the nation of dragons. this is handwaved as being something they just do when they find some cool magic shit.

but notably, the reason for the war has changed, as rumors have emerged that the priestess of the kingdom is supporting the war to save ruri who they belive to be kidnapped.

she gets sad about this and goes to the grandma to whine about it.

so we can see here a few things.

we are supposed to belive that its completely unreasonable for asashi to make the assumption that her best friend has been kidnapped.

that it is her fault for allowing a war to happen when we know that regardless of her support they would wage it regardless

ruri only considers asashi a friend when it is deemed attractive to her moral charecter.

yes this is the first time ruri has every said that asashi is anything resembling a friend to her.

she slips into the castle after some poverty porn about how evil and bad this kingdom is, we get a brief scene showing the king is planning on makeing sure both asashi and the prince die because he finds him annoying (I guess he has a strong and objectivly good soul)

"Man, isnt asashi awful, worrying about her friend like that? wanting people to help her find her? isnt she just the fucking Worse ever?"

im going insane, the worm has won, they have consumed any rational part of my brain and replaced it with the vast rot of whatever fucking bizarro verse this manga demands me to be within.

the two friends finally reunite after being seperated for so long.

we get a sob story about a time she broke her watch because again, asashis charm powers make people jealous of how close she is to asashi, so they bullied her and since asashi has literally never seen anyone ever act anything like that because again, everyone s magically forced to love her unconditionally, she doesnt belive her.

and of course she dosent belive her either but instead of just blindly saying no to ruri, she says she'll talk to them about it, when its clear ruri fucking hates that idea, and gets ready to leave with a little cryptic warning, she asks to flee with her

which again is displayed as a creepy and werid thing because she accidently uses her charm magic that we have established she has no control over. again, in any other manga the idea that while you may not belive what you hear, you are willing to give up any comfort to be with your friend, would be considered the most profound act of love. please feel free to contrast this to captian hair sniffer and Cat spooner.

I cannot add any more images so lets speed run this. asashi is shaken up so she goes to the king to ask him whats going on, he says "Mind control" which lets be perfectly clear, is an established and perfectly reasonable thing to belive can happen in a magical fucking world, asashi is shown to be dumb for belive this.

war happens and nothing happens, dragons win by a land slide and asashi gets captured.

she dosent belive the dragon princes words and all of her allies that got captured with her are placed in an anti magic zone and now hate her completely because again, without magic, asashi is completely and utterly unloveable.

ruri makes friends with another god and they learn that asashi convinced a guard to let her go because i guess that charm magic works whenever. but shes stuck in a dungeon and she may run into the soldiers who i guess the charm magic wont work on which leaves us with this haunting scene:

we are told that asashi legitamitly does not understand what the fuck is going on, she does not understand why they hate her, she just thought she was going to save her fucking friend.

Behold Your Antagonist.

it ends with that.

here are the questions.

"Is the underlying story, barring any other concept, good?" 

Kinda. its vary bland and vary generic. its a romance that does not know how to present itself a romance. it is a romance that spends more time complaining about someone then being in love.

"on a sliding scale of min to max, how much is the author using this to explore fetish" 

none, the few saveing graces.

"How many story crutches does the author use to explore the story" 

an absurd amount, from the plot contrivances to the power cliches, to the physical attributes denoting specialness to ensure we and the charecters know to treat her in a special way.

 "Is the author attempting to use the story as a way to explain why he is not weird."

yeah, if you have any fucking trouble with social interactions or cant read people, then you are an objectively bad person, and if you are somehow populer, no one actully loves you, and they are being forced to love you.

#bottom of the barral #isekai #shitty isekai #manga review #read on your own time #its better as a hate read #I almost miss reading omegaverse romance isekais #at least there they pretend to be in a relationship of some kind

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

Field Trip

| PAIRING(s): all creations from the Puddles and Toxic universe have the possibility of making an appearance | RATING: explicit material | 18+ | WORD COUNT: 2.5k | SYNOPSIS: I take up @toxicanonymity's invitation to the @toxicbrothel

Meet The Cast

Whistle | Whistle in the Dark collection Grump | Endless Night Feral | Feral Woman Juice | Jizz Fingers universe Shoulders | A Weight Off Your Shoulders collection Sub | A Savage Place collection LG + Tommy | Liquid Gold

“Be on your best behavior, please. We only just got the official invite, and I don’t want anybody embarrassing me,” I hiss at the group.

“Nobody’s gonna embarrass ya, honey,” Feral assures me.

“Dunno why we even give a shit about impressin’ them anyway,” Grump mumbles theatrically. I shoot him an exasperated sigh and he just shrugs and looks off.

“How many of ‘em are in there anyway? What’s our numbers look like against ‘em?” Whistle pipes up, sounding excited at the idea of fucking somebody up.

“Okay, Whistle, we are not doing this. We are not going to size them up like we’re gonna brawl or something,” I huff as I turn around and plant my hands firmly on my hips.

Whistle rolls his eyes and pouts. “I haven’t even had a chance to make anybody cry in, like, MONTHS!” he complains.

“It hasn’t been that long,” I argue, although I pray that none of them feel brave enough to call me out on my Time Blindness. Something snaps at my ankle. “OUCH! What the fu–BRAIN GOBLIN. STOP IT!”

Brain Goblin dances around like a little court jester and laughs. “Suck my dick!” he squeals. I kinda laugh because he’s a menace but also very silly and fun.

“Okay, everyone,” I announce, trying to get the group to focus again, “let’s do this.”

We walk up to the front door and note the beautiful layout of the compound.

“How come we don’t got one of these,” Grump says under his breath.

Feral rubs soothing passes on my back as I ring the doorbell. Toxic greets me in one of those beautiful sheer robes with the fuzzy hems and sleeves. Like the ones that look like you murdered your husband in before pretending to faint in shock when the police inform you of his demise. It’s blush pink.

“Wow! You look beautiful! Thank you so much for having us over!” I greet enthusiastically. I throw my arms around Toxic and give her the best hug I can even though I’m not very good at them.

“Welcome to the Brothel. Do you want to meet the Joelkemons? Some of them are kinda nervous. They know you’ve done a lot of PR for them with the cards and edits and stuff,” she says.

“Aw, they don’t need to be nervous,” I laugh and wave her off.

She holds my gaze for a moment like she’s thinking of whether or not to say something. “Look, if, um, if Raider asks about–”

“It’s fine,” I interject in a rush. “There won’t be any problems today. It’s all good.”

Feral tenses by my side. Grump stands up taller. Juice is spinning Brain Goblin in the air like a floating ballerina while he cackles joyfully.

“Hey, watch his head on the door when you float him inside,” I tell Juice.

“I assure you the mental gremlin is safe in my possession,” Juice tells me telepathically.

We all walk into the main living area and are greeted by a few of the guys. 

“Hey, Puddles,” Stepdad greets warmly. My pussy bottoms out. 

“Oh my. H-Hey,” I stutter. I thank my lucky stars that he isn’t in his Fair Isle sweater otherwise my ham wallet would be crazy soppy. He grins knowingly and flexes his arms a bit in his tight fitting tshirt, making like he’s just casually putting his hands in his pockets.

Toxic is barely paying any attention to the interaction as she watches Juice with lustful eyes. She shifts side to side, and I’m pretty sure her basement is flooded. I get it, though. It’s the idea of endless possibilities, a supernatural spaceboi who is willing to change everything about himself and study your interests, just to make sure you’re pleased. It’s like roleplaying but on a very meta level. Toxic is so smart. It’s no wonder she loves Juice. I smile to myself and wonder if she’s even noticed LG and Tommy loitering towards the back of the group.

“Care for some apple juice?” Lincoln barges into the conversation and places himself directly in between me and Stepdad. I flinch a little at his surprise introduction. He holds out a Mason jar of light brown liquid. “Uummm, I’m actually good for right now,” I say, eyeing the glass suspiciously. His eyes tighten for a moment before he gets a hold of himself. 

“Jus’ tryna take care of ya is all. Thought that’s what ya wanted. Thought that’s what made us special,” he says with a stern look in his eyes. I wonder if I was wearing a Red Sox baseball cap if something would snap in him and he’d fuck me over the table in front of everybody.

Stepdad rolls his eyes. Lincoln tries to play it off like he’s not in a panic about his spot on my leaderboard. I lean over so I can see all the other Joelkemons that Lincoln is trying to block with his body. Toxic sighs and puts a palm over her eyes and forehead like she specifically talked to Lincoln about not being weird about the leaderboard thing and that he has plenty of the Church of Toxic congregation that still have no plans of moving him down a spot.

Lincoln mumbles something about loyalty and safety before shuffling off.

“Hey, Night Walks,” I chirp. His eyes are wide and nervous watching Brain Goblin spin and cackle in midair. I realize he might not understand that it’s real and he hasn’t just got a batch of something that was laced. I explain as much to him, and he seems a bit calmer.

“Hey, Trouble,” I wave meekly. Trouble doesn’t reply. He’s got an eye on LG and Tommy who haven’t said a single word the entire time.

Sub comes over to me to let me know that Shoulders and Thighs have immediately hit it off and are vibing heavy in the kitchen over margaritas. I expected as much and am relieved that there’s been a genuine successful interaction.

I notice Raider still seated on the couch with an obnoxiously wide manspread that can’t actually be comfortable, refusing to look in my direction. I swallow hard and glance around nonchalantly. Toxic walks over to Raider and tries to have a quiet discussion about something. I catch bits and pieces of the conversation.

“—could at least get your shit together enough to say hello to her!” “—rejected my fuckin' flowers. You know what the guys would say if they knew about that?!” “—will not hesitate to photoshop you in a gimp suit with Sweet Pea holding the leash to your collar.”

Raider’s eyes snap over to mine, and I look away quickly, hoping he hadn’t seen me obviously eavesdropping. I see his jaw clench from the corner of my eye. He shoves a toothpick in his mouth and stalks out the room angrily. 

Toxic seems a little flustered but offers to show me around the compound while we leave the guys to mingle. She apologizes for “some of the Joelkemons” not being very friendly.

“It’s okay. Everybody’s not for everybody,” I offer with a shrug.

“Yeah… I guess,” she agrees.

We make it back to the living room, and my heart stutters when I see Vamp sitting in the corner in a dark shadow. Toxic notices my breath catch and raises a brow. 

“You gonna redeem your period cramps coupon today?” she wonders.

“No, just finished with it. Hafta wait another month,” I mumble absentmindedly as I stare at Vamp. He catches my eye and gives a shy, apologetic smile. I grin and wave at him. “Hi, Vamp. I like your gondola out back,” I flirt terribly. He would blush if he had enough blood in him, but it’s a pitiful patch of pink on his cheeks instead. I don’t know why that makes me feel bad, like I want to offer him some of my blood.

“Sorry, so you just let her stick stuff up your butt?” Trouble balks at Sub.

“It ain’t like that, you fuckin’ moron. It’s about givin’ up control and lettin’ your mind just go for a little bit,” Sub volleys back at him. Trouble looks curious but not convinced.

“Where’s Shoulders?” I ask. They both smirk and point to a closed door down the hall. Toxic and I follow their direction and push the door open without knocking.

“Shoulders! Seriously?!” I huff. He’s jerking off next to Thighs at some BBW porn. Thighs grins and shifts so I can see his dick better. I lick my lips and pretend I don’t care.

“Okay, I better check on the rest of the guys to make sure nobody else is embarrassing me,” I huff, looking pointedly at Shoulders. He just laughs to himself and smiles. He knows I’m not gonna do a damn thing about him acting up and that I like how he’s my little rapscallion of the group.

All my worst fears have come to life when I see Raider and Whistle staring each other down with their chests puffed out. The rest of the guys have gathered around to watch. No one is brave enough to intervene.

“Say it again, you piece of shit,” Whistle spits. “Give me a fuckin’ reason to break every bone in your body.”

“I said I don’t fuckin’ like WISHY WASHY people. She can’t just go back and forth cherry picking when and what kind of dark!Joel is acceptable,” Raider seethes.

“You ever think that it ain’t that and maybe it’s just you?” Whistle snaps.

“That’s enough!” I say, putting myself in between them. Raider is huge and radiates heat like a sexual furnace. I look up at  him, craning my neck to meet his eye.

“Gotta be somethin’ about a shortstack like you if you got all these guys listenin’ to your every command,” he says with what I think is a hint of admiration.

“I’m not that shor–”

“She’s 5’6” when she wears her platform Crocs!” Sub supplies encouragingly.

I sigh and close my eyes. Raider is never gonna let that one go. I open my eyes and see him smirking at me.

“Shutup,” I mumble. “C’mon,” I say to Whistle as I tug him away.

“Guys, I think we should probably just get going,” I announce with a shaky voice.

“What’s wrong?” Feral probes. He appeared at my side out of nowhere and holds me gently, cupping my face and tilting my chin to look at him.

Lincoln starts hovering obnoxiously in some fresh pressed khakis. He looks like he just showered, although I can’t imagine why he would need to shower in the middle of my visit to the compound. My eyes wander down to his crotch, and my coochie meow meow starts salivating at the thought of him and Aches fucking me at the same time.

“Hey,” Feral whispers softly to me. “You okay?”

“I’m fine!” I insist. “I’m not a baby!”

I look around for Toxic to bid her farewell and thank her for the invitation. I hope she is willing to have us over again, even with all the turmoil between me and her emotional support Joelkemon. I wander around the house but can’t find her. Trouble looms around the corner and suggests I head to the Writer’s Room.

I make my way halfway up the stairs when I hear pornographic moans. I have a very good idea of what I’m about to walk into.

LG and Tommy and DP’ing Toxic while Juice in the form of Mr. Ben makes a Fan Cam of the action. Toxic is having an amazing time and is so stuffed with dicks that she doesn’t even notice I’m there. Juice checks in on me telepathically, and I tell him I’m not gonna spoil Toxic’s fun. I ask him to just send everybody downstairs once they’re finished double rawdogging and creampie-ing her.

Vamp meets me at the bottom of the stairs. He offers to set a movie up for everyone in the living room with Night Walks acting as host. I agree. I settle into the couch and snuggle up between Feral and Whistle. Grump sits off in a La-Z-Boy by himself but shoots me a wink. Vamp and Lincoln look annoyed that both seats on either side of me are already taken.

Just as the movie’s about to start, Raider stalks up to me and points at the ground. “Anybody sittin’ there?” he asks in an impatient gruff.

“No, Raider, nobody’s sitting on the fucking ground,” I mumble in exasperation.

He settles himself onto the floor in front of me and acts like he’s whittling something with his knife.

The lights dim as Nosferatu starts to play. I glance over at Vamp with a smirk, and he smiles back shyly.

Raider situates himself flush to the couch and adjusts one of my legs without asking. He turns around and says something about how I feel cold and do I need something warm. I look at Feral and shrug before asking him to scoot over a little bit.

Raider plops down next to me and shoves an arm around the back of me. He’s huge. I feel like a tater tot in a bowl of queso. He yanks the blanket away from Lincoln who looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm. He shoves it over my lap and does a very bad job at actually covering my smoothly with it. Whistle sighs and straights it over my lap before looking back to the movie.

Raider leans in closer to me to talk. “I just don’t fuckin’ get you,” he says quietly so no one else can hear. “What’s your fuckin’ problem?”

I tremble a bit at his forceful questioning but don’t move. He’s so warm and big and feels kinda good. He seems to pick up on this. “What if I’m nice to ya, Shortstack? Ya won’t tell anybody? Be our little secret?”

His hand slides up my thigh, and I bite back a moan. His palm takes up the entire thing. “Fuck,” I whisper to myself.

Raider wraps an arm around me while Whistle keeps glancing over to make sure he doesn’t need to intervene. He slowly pulls me onto his lap, and I’m completely soaked. “Just sit there and don’t move,” he orders in a low voice.

He puts two fingers into me and starts getting me off. I lean back into his chest and try not to squirm too much. “Swe-SweetPea wouldn’t like this. She might fight me if she finds out,” I whimper into his ear. He makes a grunting sound, obviously not opposed to the idea of taking me and Sweet Pea at the same time.

Raider fingers me until I’m blasting coochie juice everywhere. I settle down quietly and fall asleep on his chest. He holds me close but refuses to debase himself by kissing me gently on the temple. It’s a truce of sorts for now, I guess.

Toxic makes her way downstairs, looking completely wrecked. She pauses when she sees me willfully wrapped up in Raider. She smiles tearfully at the beautiful sight. Today was a good day.

#crackfic #crossover #meta fic #joelkemons #toxic brothel

[gabessquishytum]

Gabe my friend, I was just rereading your more domestic Dreamling fics, and I was just struck by how much of a malewife Hob is. This isn't anything new, I think everyone can agree Hob would totally be the kind of wife that cooks and cleans for you, never complaining about how much you work. Soooo, naturally, my mind immediately went to horny mode with this 🤣🤣

This could totally work with the sugar baby au btw or a separate au. But the main catalyst is maybe Hob saw a show or anime once and saw the wife trope, you know the one, "Welcome home dear, would you like a bath, or dinner, or.... me?" And thought, "OMG that's totally me with Dream, let me kick it up a notch."

So one night, Dream goes to Hob's place, goes through the front door for once, and Hob is there wearing only an apron, being sweet and asking him about his day, how was work etc etc. Hob is taking off his coat, ushering him to sit down, serving him drinks.

Hshdehsjshbs I'm getting excited by my own prompt 🤣🤣

Dream is astounded in the best way, and he is so freaking hard, looking at Hob with only an apron, flitting about the apartment, acting like his wife. This is totally unprecedented, and Dream is considering punishing Hob for being so freaking sexy. And then Hob delivers the finishing blow, the line from before. I can't decide if I want him straddling Dream's lap, grinding on the raging hard on or he's bending over and showing off the ruby plug while he's saying it. Either way, Dream ends up throwing his drink aside. After that, well, let's just say Hob had to call off work for a week due to leg issues.

I'm not sure if I've said this before, but all are welcome to write fics based on my prompts. I'm working on multiple fics rn, the more slut Hob fics the better, I say.

-Love Yan Anon <3

My beloved Yan Anon, once again you've knocked it out of the park!!!! I looove this. Malewife/house husband Hob is a VIBE.

Like, obviously Dream doesn't have an "office" but he does usually come to Hob’s flat around the same each day. And sometimes Hob is waiting for him, either dressed up in some demure little wifey outfit that Dream got for him (like a pretty sheer blouse and a velvet skirt, or some skinny low waisted jeans and a cropped t-shirt) OR just the apron. Either way he practically throws himself at Dream when he comes through the door, asking about his day and pouring a nice glass of wine. Hob will rub his shoulders and scold him for being so tense, offering to run a bath and get out the massage oil... but he knows the whole time Dream just wants to fuck him over the kitchen table. Hob just loves teasing him, drawing the evening out and telling him all about the errands he ran and the new dessert he wants Dream to try. Until Dream snaps, grabs him by his waist and pins him up against a kitchen counter. The thing is, Dream never knows if he's coming home to a normal Hob (who is very sexy but also very... normal. He generally waits at least until after dinner to seduce Dream) OR wifey Hob, who absolutely melts Dream’s brain every single time with his sweet smiles and that fucking apron.

Anyway, they almost always end up fucking in the kitchen when Hob is being Dream’s little wife. Dream can't stop himself. He's had to replace to apron at least three times already because he usually ends up tearing it right off Hob’s body <3 he just loves his Hobwife too much hehe.

#yan anon #the sandman #dreamling #nsft #i am also loving the hobwife agenda tbh

[skullfacedog]

I accidentally stumbled upon a text document of my old journal thread from a therian forum from when I was a teen and now I'm going thru it bc I'm really curious of the signs I had headmates or repressed memories back then

-so far, I've described myself as "being able to switch personalities easily" and wondering if I was half demon or had a demon headmate all along that I didn't know about because I had multiple sides of me that felt very contradictory. I am hellhoundkin but I feel like a lot of the demonic feels I had as a teen have worn off a lot, especially since my mental health has gotten better.

it's crazy reading these old posts bc I'm like a totally different person now lmao. I rlly said "I have violent urges and it's hard to hold back from hurting ppl just to hear them scream" YOU COULDN'T EVEN HURT A FLY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUTTTT

-another thing that's kinda weird is that I was really obsessed with outer space at some point and mentioned that in my journal and mentioned questioning being stardragonkin but now it's like ?? I mean space is cool but it's nowhere near one of my main interests. I'm more of a fantasy person than a scifi person. naturey shit is wayyyy cooler than stars sorry.

-post about feeling sick for no reason like not having a cold or anything and being unable to eat but I thought it was species dysphoria??

-post complaining that I "don't feel like myself lately". depression or headmate??

-previously talked about feeling hellhound shifts that feel different from normal and kind of having a weird change in mindset. then in this post I mention I have a hellhound headmate named xarashi. that's them!!! that's the hellhound I "shifted" into!! also happy bc I fully forgot their name and it's been killing me that I didn't remember their name and just referred to them as "the hellhound headmate I had as a teenager". I wonder if they're still around but I feel like if I ask I would get an answer just bc I asked, does that make sense?? like I'm afraid my brain is making shit up but also, they were 100% a headmate at one point so it's not crazy to think they could still be there somewhere.

-also mentioned eshari who was a little demon girl headmate I had for a short time who was weirdly malicious. I distinctly remember like having a fight or something triggering me really badly with my internet friend and I just started feeling entirely emotionless and dissociatey and responded to my friend in ways I would not normally. and later I realized that was a headmate and tried talking to her. I genuinely thought she was an evil demon or something but I'm pretty sure she was a persecutor?? girl I'm so sorry I was so fucking dumb. anyway the lore goes that xarashi chased off eshari and kind of replaced her.

-not related to the general post idea here ig I'm just giving a live reaction at this point but I got to the point where I posted about meeting my ex abuser irl when we were dating and I said "I've never been that nervous in my life" "he kept hugging and petting me, it made me a bit uncomfortable bc I'm not used to him, but I liked it!" BITCH YOU ARE LYING TO YOURSELF BECAUSE HE LOVEBOMBED YOU AND YOU SO DESPERATELY WANT TO BE LOVED AND FEEL USEFUL YOU WILL CONVINCE YOURSELF YOU'RE OKAY WITH UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS!!! STOP!!!!!!

literally the next post I made was the announcement of our breakup LMAO

also I still wonder if he reminded me of my CSA abuser bc I was literally IMMEDIATELY wildly uncomfortable when I saw him for the first time irl and I've always kinda been uncomfortable around men with his body type, like kinda big and masculine and with facial hair. I could not date someone who looks like that and I swear it has nothing to do with attractiveness like I'm demiro I do not give a fuck if someone isn't the standard of attraction but I can't date someone too big and masculine bc they scare me?? I'm so thankful my partner is the same height as me and skinny and always shaves. I mean he's cute with facial hair at least, not like overly masculine.

-mentioned always having been closed off to my parents, not telling them that I wished I was a dog (in an otherkin way before I found the community online) or that I "didn't want to go to heaven". why was I such a weird ass kid lmao I remember I wanted to go to hell purely so that I could fight the devil myself and bc "heaven seems boring" ?? why did 7 year old me have like a self sacrifice complex or smth idk like I was OBSESSED with the idea of me going thru pain for other ppl even as a very young child. I have nooo clue if that could be SA related but it is certainly Odd

-mentioned being able to do a really good impression of karkat from homestuck (according to my friends) and wanting to cosplay him. I sorta wondered at the time if I had a karkat headmate bc I could like Become him really easily it was weird. and he has like the complete opposite personality of me.

-mentioned dissociation like. many times throughout the entire journal

that's all but I may do similar posts with some other stuff I can find online from my past bc I need to psychoanalyze myself and search for every little sign that something was Wrong that I didn't notice at the time. the internet being forever is a good thing for me rn because I threw out every single physical journal I had which makes me so sad bc I would've lovedddd to read my old cringey journals, not just to search for trauma signs but also for entertainment purposes </3