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molsno · 2 months

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I feel like it's foolish of me to fantasize about getting this job that a recruiter brought to me today.

it feels too perfect. my passion project for the past 5 years has given me the exact skillset they're looking for, after all.

the pay is unbelievable, beyond anything I've ever dreamed about. literally double what I was getting paid before, at minimum. on top of that, it comes with full benefits and unlimited vacation time. sure, it would require me to stay in this area, but would that really be so bad? how could I not fantasize about a job like this?

but part of me knows that no matter how qualified I am for it, they'll still find a way to turn me down. I don't have the privilege to deserve a life like that. even if they checked out my passion project and realized just how talented I am, I have a feeling that my hopes will be dashed. one interview is all it takes for an employer to realize I'm not what they're looking for.

can they see it in my features, I wonder? do I look a little too clocky for their liking? can they hear it in my voice? I genuinely can't tell, but there has to be something. there's no other explanation I can think of for why every time I get an interview, even when I think it went really well, I get ghosted, or if I'm lucky, I receive an email weeks later telling me the position has already been filled. I know it's not my skills that are the issue.

it's funny. people seem to think that people like me have "male privilege". that I'm a "tech bro" whose "male socialization" puts me ahead of the rest of the community. I wonder what they would think if they knew that my last and only job was a predatory contracting firm that forced me to move across the country with less than a month's notice under threat of legal action, and that I knew exactly what I was getting into when I signed a contract with them because it was either that or nothing. the best I could get as a tranny was the absolute bottom of the barrel in the industry I decided to dedicate my life to.

sometimes I think about how much easier it all would have been if I was a man. my accomplishments would be taken seriously, my appearance wouldn't be judged, my personality would be viewed as "eccentric" instead of "incompetent". I could be making even more than what this job offers me. wouldn't that just be wonderful?

sometimes I think back to when I was first considered the possibility that I might be trans, the sleepless nights where I was paralyzed with terror over how I would be treated. I was always told I had a future, but there I was, considering ripping it all away. I couldn't imagine why on earth I would give up my "male privilege", and yet I wanted to anyway.

the more and more I thought about it, in fact, the more I came to realize that holding onto it was a guarantee that I would have no future. I had already decided that I would kill myself when I turned 30, for no particular reason at all. maybe I could regain some economic opportunities if I detransitioned, but there is no belief I'm more certain about than the fact that if I did, I would end my life sooner than I originally planned to.

in other words, to me, the only privilege that would come with being male is that I would no longer have to live under capitalism.

so, maybe it's unrealistic to believe I could still attain such success. but I'm a trans woman. that's all I've ever been, and that's all I ever will be. and because of that, I have to believe that I have a future. transitioning was not an act of destruction. it was, is, and will always be an act of creation, the synthesis of life itself.

even if it's foolish to dream, I'll do it anyway. because that's what it means to be alive.

#personal

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abugwritesstuff · 2 years

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Prince and Consort Dad/Family Headcanons Pt 1

i had so much fun thinking these up and honestly, several of them are just good material for fluffy little fics i think i'll write at some point. i'm gonna post these in a couple parts since there are a couple other bonus characters i'm writing up ideas for. :)

in this part: guy, lynt, roy, toa, fenn, and rio!

guy

i think they'd either A) wait a few years into being married to have kids, which i can picture being something that would perhaps buck tradition a bit, or B) get knocked up before they tie the knot and then just very rapidly do a big 'ol fancy wedding in avari

i can see him being maybe mildly shocked but then reacting like "yes of course" like it was inevitable that this would happen at some point.

guy on his "you're mine" bullshit as per usual amirite

anyways

he would be basically draconian while she's pregnant but in a way that is both nonsensically paranoid and masking that he's anxious about her wellbeing

like sentencing her to bedrest for literally no reason, making her eat specific foods, etc.

they'd fight about it and eventually he'd ease off somewhat

he would have jasper provide him dossiers of information about pregnancy and whatnot, but despite this...

he would 100% just assume all his kids would be boys and just be flabbergasted when they aren’t.

like he has, like, two daughters and then his son

he’d just go around like “when our son is born” and the mc is like “…uh?”

anyway he is STUNNED for awhile after the birth of their first girl, tho he does warm up to it all

guy the girl dad is so funny to me

very defensive of anyone who doubts the abilities of his girls (because you KNOW avari is sexist as fuck) and he is just completely inordinately proud of his children even if what they’ve done is just average

chronically incapable of hearing anything negative about his kids from anyone

some noble getting glared at by guy because he said something less than entirely flattering about his baby girl

no she’s perfect shut up 😤

guy probably *should* reflect on his own childhood and consider the expectations that were placed on him, but in all honesty i don’t think he’s that self aware so i don’t think he really parents his kids with any particular thoughtfulness or strategy

he’s also a bit harsher on his son that on his daughters

i feel that he’d be the type to wanna do that vonn-trapp whistle shit but the mc would be like “absolutely not you weirdo”

guy is not as bad at being a dad and his own dad because his dad is like, some kind of fucking weird pirate villain, but he’s still not amazing

i don’t like guy that much lmao

sorry

lynt

i feel that lynt would start trying to knock up the mc literally immediately after they get married

just like “well this is what happens next, no?” and just go for it

i don’t think they’d actually have kids especially quickly, i think it’d take a few years of trying, which would be emotionally upsetting for the both of them. but they do eventually get pregnant

i think he'd try to be helpful during pregnancy and birth but i'm not confident he'd be super successful. think he'd be at a bit of a loss for what to do aside from maybe being a pillow

bony ass pillow though

i think growing up as an only child makes lynt want to have at least more than one, so he’s very very pleased when they have their first babies: twin boys

a lot of lynt napping with the babies in the courtyard, sneaking away from prince duties to spend time with them

family cuddle puddle

both those boys have rather more serious and less sleepy temperaments than lynt as they grow up, taking a bit more after their mother

this makes lynt a bit sad but then, when they boys are about seven: they have their third child, a girl

lynt is wrapped around her finger, she’s the absolute apple of his eye

she takes after him in personality and is with him like a little sidekick most of the time

lynt shows up to events and she’s in his arms or holding his hand the whole time

at balls they’ll disappear and be found napping in the hallway on a settee

anyways yeah. so fucking cute

i do feel like lynt would be a tad oblivious to more serious things happening with his kids and might struggle to know how to provide support beyond a hug

he would absolutely have a protective side, though, if needed

would burn bridges and start all kinds of shit if his kids were threatened

no more conflict-averse lynt if it’s about his babies lol

i also feel like he’d both unintentionally and intentionally cockblock his own kids when they’re older lmao

just showing up at the completely wrong times, constantly

i want a lynt and family sitcom

roy

he’s one of the princes i can see having a pretty large family, i feel like that suits him

they have like five or six kids in total, i think more boys that girls

they'd have kids maybe like a year or two after marrying. i think they'd plan that shit out meticulously. they don't give me the vibe that they'd be surprised by it, at least not for a first one

that picture-perfect prince thing does get carried into this arena as well, i think in order to soothe any anxiety or worry roy would kinda immerse himself into trying to be the most perfect supportive partner ever and would maybe go a bit overboard initially

but all that said i think roy would be a pretty great dad since by all i’ve seen his dad was pretty great too so he had a good example

but he does make sure to shelter them from expectations of being perfect, or of having to save/advance the nation, definitely encourages them to be kids

i feel like they’d do family camping trips and things like that

he’d teach them how to ride horses also

they have enough children that when they attend events outside of the country, roy and the mc can be seen counting everyone to make sure no one has wandered off somewhere

roy walking around with two children under his arms lmao

carrying on some kind of completely perfect diplomatic princely conversation while wrangling a squirming toddler

lmao i love it

i think he’d be great with advice and guidance but that his kids would be like “🙄 ugh dad” because he would get a bit preachy with it

100% that dad that turns a joke into a (well-intentioned) lecture

roy’s kids like “do not try to show dad a meme he’ll ask you to explain it and ask how you know those people”

literally like this

altogether a very wholesome family

toa

toa may be my actual favorite so this is a longer one

he does not have an especially big family which is almost a shame because i can imagine that he has some BEAUTIFUL children

girl and a boy, in that order

i do see them having their first very soon after getting married but unintentionally, they got caught up and forgot their birth control potion or spell or whatever it is people do

i feel that it’s a pretty stressful time given that mc is perceived as avarian, i feel that idina would have it out for her and that the pregnancy would have to be semi-secret for awhile due to various dangers

toa has an anxious personality so he would be very on edge and protective

get that boy some lexapro STAT

i feel like toa would be at kind of a loss on how to be a father since his own sucks so bad

like he’d know what he didn’t want to do but wouldn’t know what to do so i think he’d worry a lot and try to make up for it by doting on the mc, very mother hen toa

i also think that when his kids are born and as they’re growing up, he’d have a lot of moments where he’d be processing his own childhood trauma

like holding his son as a toddler and being like “i could never let anyone do to him what they did to me”

like the experience would make him actually start to despise his father rather than just being intimidated

so much hurt/comfort fic possibility with daddy toa lmao

anyways

toa’s pretty gentle with his kids, very calm, has high expectations for them academically but doesn’t really punish the kids for things very often given what he was subjected to, which could cause some issues but mc probably handles discipline so it turns out okay

his daughter takes after him in personality and is extremely magically adept- my suspicion is that since the mc also has ancient magic, any kids she has with a prince will all have ancient magic of some kind, but i think this is a *bit* more of an issue in qelsum than it would be maybe in the other countries

like mc is so out of place as a supposed avarian and toa is so frightened of her ancient magic being manipulated by gilbert that it’s kept very under wraps

so their daughter comes along and is so magically proficient that it’s kind of shocking

their son is also extremely magically adept, but not as serious or academic in personality as his sister, but since he’s a boy and expected to have ancient magic he receives more training on it openly when in qelsum

which is frustrating for their daughter

she has a bit of a complex about it and so toa tries to tutor her privately when he’s able to

they understand each other well- he sees a lot of himself in her so he can read her fairly easily

i could go on about these dynamics for awhile, i feel like qelsum and toa and whatever family he’d have would be very complicated not necessarily because of his parenting

i don’t think he’d be the snuggliest warmest kind of dad (i mean more than his own dad but that’s not saying much) but i do think he’d be the kind of dad that just brings them fruit

was gonna be candy but mc was like “you’re giving them a sugar high all the time please don’t”

so he just send them plates of cut up fruit when they’re studying or whatever

buys like a ton of whatever his kids say that they like

i think he shows his love for his kids by doting on them and worrying about them

interrogates his kids on whether or not they’ve been sleeping or eating enough or if they feel sick or if they’ve gotten outside lately and do they need any help with their homework and-

very worrywart toa

i think he’d get his feelings hurt if kids like ever purposefully kept secrets or snuck around

he wants them to feel like they can come to him with anything and i think sometimes struggles to express those feelings

anyways 🥺

fenn

like roy he’d also have a larger family but by luxure standards i guess it’d be small lmao

they’d wanna wait a good couple years before having their kids

no birth control mishaps with them, fenn is too experienced with that shit lmao

however i do think there’d be a possibility that their first kid would be motivated by trying to get kieran to back off

like we know how he acted in some of fenn’s event routes, i think it’s entirely likely that he’d be trying to figure out how to get rid of MC before she can produce a next heir, yknow? he's a lil smarmy bitch and it feels in character to me

so i think that could be a cause for conflict but inevitably he would give up

my hypothesis: they have maybe like four, five kids?

i see fenn as being like, prone to showing off the mc while pregnant

like “i did this 😏😌” lmao

he’d be a fucking anxious wreck anytime the mc is in labor, i don’t think he handles her being in pain well

just sitting outside the room with violet telling him to get his act together and stop freaking out

i think most of the princes get teary when their kids are born but i think fenn does in particular and it surprises him

i also don’t think he’d be entirely certain how to be a parent other than just showing up and being around them a lot, which is what he didn’t have as a kid

similarly to toa, fenn would have some childhood trauma/neglect to process while his kids grew up

like watching his kids reach the age he was when the eva thing happened and being like

“oh, i was taken advantage of and preyed on”

similar thing where his relationship with his father sours even more

i think he’d be very protective of his kids, probably would steer them away from louis at every opportunity as a response

anyways

i think they’d have a pretty tight knit family as a result of fenn trying his best to like, actually be present and know things about his kids

i feel like he'd maybe write some stories for them since he's a writer

anyways yeah it’s cute

mc is the one that puts the cut off at whatever number they end up having, genuinely think fenn would be like “wanna make another? 👀” lmao

also no matter who mc ends up with i have a headcanon that toa’s daughter and fenn’s daughter become bffs because that would be funny

rio

oh you know he was MADE for this shit

they have a bajillion kids because of course they do

most out of all the princes

they have like eight or nine, just an absolute army, a stampede of kids, voleri children just popping up out of nowhere all the time

rio attends an meeting between the princes and pulls an expected stowaway child out of his coat

all the princes looking at him like 😐🙄🤔 and he’s like 😄

he’s a super fun engaging kind of dad, their home is full of pillow forts and games and a lot of giggling

i think they probably start having kids within about a year and people start asking them about kids, like, six months before the wedding even happens

just the kind of place voleri is 🤷🏻‍♀️ i remember aidan being like “ah, your future wife!!” in an event when rio brought mc to the palace so that’s just what they’re like lmao

rio is fucking SO excited during the mc’s pregnancies but especially the first

just telling EVERYONE that they’re having a baby!!! 😄 isn’t that great!!! a baby!!!

he'd dote on mc so bad, you just know it

feeds the HELL outta her, rubs her back and her feet, makes her teas, tucks her into bed

a frantic mess at first when she's giving birth

have you ever played the sims? y'know the animation that the dads have when the moms go into labor where they're freaking out? that rio's energy at first. but he gets it in check and then is fairly helpful, just being sweet and encouraging

after it’s born rio is just like

sneaking out of royal duties all the time just to go look at his kid 🥰

papa rio is just very cute so nobody can really get all that mad at him for his antics, though aidan probably does have to kind of steer his attention back to work

rio keeps a thick book of wallet size pictures of his kids in his pocket at all times and shows them to people, it doesn’t matter if you don’t care or have already seen them, he’s showing you

anyways the palace is big enough that all these kids could have their own rooms but they share a few rooms instead, lots of bunk beds and whatnot

rio and the mc making the rounds through the rooms to tuck everyone in

very wholesome, 10/10

i think rio would probably still be his oblivious self so more complicated issues might be handled by mc, but rio would be great at comforting his kids

rio hugging a daughter through her first heartbreak and then bringing her a giant dessert tray lmao

rio is a dad that cries at weddings

can you imagine the adorable ass family photos they'd have? i die

that's all i have for this post, but i've got lance, dia, and the valets all done so i'll post those soon as well :)

#court of darkness #voltage inc #voltage games #rio voleri #fenn luxure #toa qelsum #roy invidia #lynt akedia #guy avari

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hologramcowboy · 1 year

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List of things I am, gathered from my haters:

Condesceding - I get this one often, you've been warned. Nevemind how atrociously condesceding the ask I was responding to was, nevermind that I may be responding to a death threat or simply being assertive towards someone rude, I am always, always, always condesceding. Because, after all, how dare I reply to an ask I got sent? I mean who the hell do I think I am?

Hypocritical - Because I run a gossip blog I guess? You do the math on that one cause I'll confess my head hurts, anyway, consider yourself officially warned and nevermind the three very legal disclaimers on this site. lol

Ugly - Especially in Jensen's eyes! They can read minds, hearts and bodies and they know what Jensen likes! Oh my! ;) ;) I am extra amused by this one though for the love of Thor I can never share why.

Arrogant - This is true, I study a whole damn lot which mean yes, at times I am arrogant but I think in this case they mean God like level arrogant so please play my ego up, K? 🤣 Think female version of Thor meets Old Hollywood Diva. Let's accept nothing less than that.

Crazy - Nevermind how I go to therapy frequently despite excelling in my life because I take care of my well being, no, I disagree with Jensen so I must, in fact, be crazy. In fact, based solely on the fact that I'm a woman stating a controversial opinion I am, by default, crazy. You' ve been warned.

Bitter Jared Stan - Jared is at the moment more successful than Jensen on every level but apparently I'm "bitter"? Cause that word so matches my personality. 🤣 Anyway, this one is a huge compliment. I consider Jared an Ambassador of Humanity which is what a real Artist is, I deeply admire him so I'll be your Bitter Jared Stan, baby! ;)

AA - That's right, not only am I am bitter Jared Stan, I am also an Ackles Army member, even though I never joined nor subscribed to this particular sect and even though I am the patron saint of roasting AAs. I guess it's one of those Bitter by night Star by Day type of things?

Jensen Hater - Left the best one for last for logical reasons, look at the one above, yeah, make it make sense.

To summarize, I'm like the female version of Soldier Boy but hotter, with Thor hair and old hollywood glam vibes or as some poor AA once tweeted "why do they write like a James Bond villain". 🤣

Now, all kidding aside, just wanted you all to know that sometimes, in some moments of life, I am all of those things: sometimes I snap at people and am rude it I haven't slept in days or am in a high tension situation with jerks ,etc, sometimes I am arrogant because I focus too much on my strengths and ignore my weaknesses just like other times I am scarily humble because I do the opposite, sometimes I am crazy because I run with unrealistic expectations and forget to balance my perceptions, sometimes I'm ugly because I have a bad day where I look bad, pick a horrible outfit or I'm in a terrible mood so I lack charisma, sometimes I'm a Jensen hater because he honestly does some pretty mean, short sighted, inconsiderate things sometimes and in those moments I hate him, sometimes I'm at the same level as an AA with the infatuation I generate towards him, I'm always a Jared fan just like I'm always a Jensen fan. My point is, depending on context, situational awareness, dynamics, I absolutely can be these things, I am human, after all.

There is no human that is always kind, always light, always good( that would truly indicate insanity because it would indicate unbalanced perceptions and mania), we all have moments and moments, it's how we handle them that matters. Hypocrisy is stating otherwise.

I know I started off funny and ended on a serious not but I just felt like saying that I'm far from perfect but this blog doesn't pretend to be anything it's not, I'm very transparent so if you disagree with anything on here please unfollow. There is never any reason to expose yourself to content that doesn't resonate with you.

Sending everyone lots of Love and I hope that, while we have fun on this blog, you also focus on your own personal legend rather than getting caught up completely in the stars you admire because you also have a contribution to bring and it is unique, please always remember that. I know fandom can get pretty toxic, please stay in touch with your core. 🤍🤍🤍

#i rant therefore i am #hologramcowboy #haters gonna hate

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koreandragon · 1 year

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what do you think about the new one dollar lawyer ep plotwise? considering how much there's left to deal with do u think they'll set it up for a s2? it would make sense since they probably wanna milk the success. i feel like it wasn't really necessary to have jihun leaving for an entire year to reflect and everyone grieving it just for him to come back and everything's fine again lol. i'm scared the ending will be rushed. the fact that ep 9 was sorta filler and the whole series being cut short doesn't help :/ two things i will never get with this show is why the flashback had to be that long and then then deciding for less episodes right after that

but then again this ep did give us so many good mari/jihun moments like omg the way she hit him with the flowers like a lover who got ghosted skwidjs i also missed them getting into each other's personal space so much 😭 AND THE HUG??? i cannot believe that their chemistry is so good that this show has all of us wearing full clown attire every week even after his literal dead ex-fiancee who he's barely over got introduced 🙉

i really loved this episode actually. and if you guys know me you know i'm generally very against kdramas getting a second season because most of the time it's unnecessary but i think this show would benefit from a season 2. it has a format that is suitable for more seasons, kind of like a sitcom? i wouldn't be surprised if they went for that considering the little stove league jab in one of the episodes lol

tell you what, people usually hate time jumps, i eat them up. why? because i love reuinion scenes. love being like "ohh how are they going to meet again, what's the other person gonna say when they see them" that stuff is very fun to me. i just think it was funny how he was like "i'll be back soon" then they didn't see him again for a year lmao?? i also like that it gives the characters time to think about what the other person means to them, how their abscence or them leaving them behind makes them feel like how mari was incredibly hurt over it. and you see i don't think she forgave him that easily, she gave him a run for his money first.

they said they wanted to preserve the quality by cutting the episodes so i hope they're gonna do that and it won't be rushed.... i am pretty annoyed now that the flashback was so long like i've never seen a whole flashback last EPISODES. especially if you're gonna cut the show short.

it wasn't just me who noticed the the crackling electricity this episode like the pent up tension from him leaving and mari being mad at him but also being worried about him and wanting to forgive him was just *chef's kiss*. so much personal space invasion and casual touching and just...idk...longing?? call me insane like call me absolutely off my rockers but i'm still gonna be sitting in the front row of this circus. especially when they parallel mari with juyeong or juyeong in a flashback says something that can be applied to mari and his relationship like i just wanna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways i'm normal. let's see how they wrap this up.

#hoping for a s2 ngl #ask #anonymous #one dollar lawyer

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theangryjikooker · 11 months

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It's funny how your last update is about taking a step away from the fandom a little while for me, I'm taking my first step into this fandom space in three years. I became a fan in the DNA era and stopped keeping up in the persona era due to the pandemic, college being rough and my personal taste in music diverging from what they were putting out at the time. It's wild how I remember them last as versus how they've grown and changed since then, with Jin doing military service, and all of them doing their own solo stuff, which is probably the most distance they've had for the first time in years. Of course, they still work in the same company, but now they don't have to go everywhere together as a group to do promotions anymore for the foreseeable future. It's all just incredible honestly, how much I feel like I missed, despite me only really being a dedicated fan for a year and a half. Maybe that makes me less of a fan, but I think it's unhealthy to put too much of yourself in other people, especially people who you do not know personally, especially with how fervent some of these shippers get. It's even funnier when coming back, so many relatively big jikook tumblr accounts I used to follow back in 2019 for content have deactivated.

While away, I really did stop viewing jikook or any bts member in any particular "shipping" light, I basically went full disconnect mode. I do still remember how it was I got into bts and jikook at separate times, and how I felt when I stopped and just saw them as a successful kpop group I once was pretty invested jn. Coming back, I'm re-experiencing my adoration of these men and the fun memories they gave me, but I'm also fully aware once I get busy with life again, I will disconnect with them again. In a very similar way, I always viewed shipping as a personal interpretation of a one dimensional pov. We see maybe 1/10 of their lives at most, and it will inevitably grow smaller as they grow outward to their own destinies. Still, jikook is special to me, whether they're "together" or not, and I consider my shipping of them to be a fun past time more than anything. The shipping community online has always been quite contentious and toxic, even in fictional fandoms, I can only imagine how much worse that toxicity is when projected onto real people who have to see that shit. I wish that it weren't the case, but seems to be an inevitable fact of fandom, especially ones as passionate as bts's. Regardless, while I'm still here and watching what they do, I'll support them in my heart.

Anyways, not sure what exactly I was going with this, hope you do well in your irl endeavors! Your blog certainly is very thoughtful and in line with how I feel about bts and jikook in general :)

Well, welcome back! Although it's a bit odd for me to say, as I gather you may be more of a veteran than I am.

If it makes you feel any better, I've barely been gone that long, and already I feel like I've missed out on so much and that a lot of things have been happening.

I wasn't much of an ardent shipper before I left, and I would argue that I'm even less so than before. It'd certainly affect how I view some things going forward (unless I let myself be consumed by the same content and rhetoric over and over). As you mentioned, disconnecting from shipping and from this fandom overall can reset your perceptions (for the average person), and I wholly recommend it to anyone able to do so. Fandom has a way of turning people obsessive, which I don't find particularly healthy or inviting.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and just thank you in general for the kind words.

#TAJ asks #anon submission #bts shipping #jikook #kookmin

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lunebinnie · 5 years

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(1/11)Oh my gosh yesss I'm glad that you like long messages too because I talk way too much 😂 (And yeah about my friend and just hanging out w/ her more that's exactly what I was thinking 😂) It's actually kind of funny bc just yesterday I was hanging out at her house and her younger brother needed to go to Walmart and I was like 'I've been meaning to go to Walmart, I'll take you' and ofc since I have a bluetooth radio adapter the whole drive I had my Spotify going with some quality k-bops, lol

2)And as we were driving I noticed him kind of jamming and I was like 'Oh my god Mickey do you actually like this???' And he was Like 'yeah, these are some good bops 👍' I was shooketh. I had to go home before I had the chance to show him any music videos but he says he's open to watching some with me next time I see him. One way or another I'm going to turn someone in my social circle into a kpop fan you mark my words ☝ and then maybe we can team up and try to work on his sister some more 😂

3)I only started first getting into kpop last June so I'm still very new, but it's definitely super frustrating how so many ppl act like it's an inherently bad or cringey genre of music just bc it's kpop! The stigma is ridiculous! I also started out with BTS (lol) and since they're pretty popular in the US at least I was able to be like 'See, this isn't just a niche thing, lots of people know abt and like this group' but of course my dad still says 'Just cause it's popular doesn't make it good'

4)And I'm like? You're a band teacher, you of all people should understand that music doesn't have to be in your native language (or even have lyrics) in order for you to enjoy it, but go off I guess... It's the same with one of my college friends. They make fun of me for liking kpop but this is coming from some who still treats March 22nd (the day My Chemical Romance broke up) as a day of mourning. Like, no tea no shade no pink lemonade, MCR was a good band nothing wrong with liking them.

5)But like if you're 22 and you still haven't grown out of your emo phase do you really have room to pick on other people for their music taste? 🤷 Anyway that's the person who follows my main that I didn't want to know I had a kpop sb. I think I made it around July. Tbh it was pretty dead for most of 2018. But like I said I've started using it way more since I recently revealed that it exists, lol. Especially since that good good Astro cb 👏💗😩 But honestly Astro is such a blessing

6)Idk how I lived so long w/o them. When I first got into kpop I was planning on just sticking to BTS since the reaction to me being into kpop was so volatile. I was like 'I'm only into one group, ppl already are negative about me liking kpop so I'm just gonna stick to this and not become a full on multifandom fan' and then in Nov I accidentally let myself fall in love with Monsta X and that plan was foiled. And realizing I wasn't gonna be able to stick to just one anymore opened the floodgates

7)And I was like okay in that case, let's just start getting into *all groups* Lol. My story of getting into Astro was actually bc of my best friend's roommate (can you tell I have like one friend and my whole social circle kinda revolves around her? Lol) so this roommate when she heard me being sad about having no kpop friends was like 'oh hey, I'm kinda into kpop' and it turns out she didn't like very many groups and was one of the ppl who blah blah BTS is overrated, which ya know isn't ideal8)But I was just really desperate to have someone to talk about kpop with. And Astro was her favorite so I was like, okay I'll get into them so that I have something to talk about with her! So I started watching some videos and I fell in love with them pretty much instantly! And I was real excited bc #1 now I can talk about kpop with someone! And #2 this group is actually amazing? Bonus! ... And then they got in a big fight about their living conditions and the roommate ended up moving out RIP

9)So that didn't work out, lol (Your story about finding them during that internship sounds amazing though! Haha) But yeah, so this is my first cb too! And although I love them w/ my whole heart and would have loved to have them in my life even sooner what an amazing cb to be your first! The concept was wonderful, the album was excellent, the visuals were to *die* for. They worked so hard and I'm so proud of them and I'm so happy we got to see their work come to fruition and get them a win 🤧🤧

10)The dance practices though? You're so right omg 💗 Me and my Rocky bias *fully* understand 😂 All of them are such good dancers?? I never fail to be impressed. Of course you know who I always end up watching tho 👀 lol (̶i̶f̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶l̶f̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶R̶o̶c̶k̶y̶'̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶o̶t̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶.̶.̶.̶)̶ ̶ I also love how at the end they always pause all dramatic for a minute and then start screaming 😂

11)It's like? Amazing talent *and* dorky personalities? What more could you ask for? Lol. In regard to your last question though Unfortunately I also won't be able to see them 😔 I live in the smack middle of the US and since they're only going to coasts all of the venues are way too far away to get to. Esp since it's the school year and I can't skip class to drive cross country for a concert much as I'd like to (Holy lord I talked over twice as much?? Why am I like this?) Talk again soon! -ASA

Okay SO I’m very sorry I haven’t had the time to answer everything until now bc I’ve been busy studying for midterms and also I was a lil trashy today since my uni closed bc of freezing rain so I slept in but I’m glad that FINALLY everything got sent like damn tumblr you really don’t want us making friends huh.

Yessssss I love the feeling of seeing someone else also get into the same interests! I’ve been pretty lucky in the sense that I grew up around mostly other asian americans, so kpop was never something that was considered super “weird,” like some people were into it and some weren’t but even if you weren’t you still would’ve been familiar with the more popular groups from when you were younger. Even now, I have a bunch of friends also into kpop (one of them is even my roommate) so tbh I was definitely the one in my friend group late to the party aha. Even my university hosts kpop nights at our bar and I’m pretty sure we have a kpop dance team as well? So tbh if I met someone new there’s probably like a 50% chance they’re into kpop or at least listen casually.

Tbh I used to be a little bit judgy too but moreso because of the obscene amount of money I’ve seen some of my friends spend (no joke one of my friends has spent probably like $500+ on Loona stuff in the past month and a half and another friend bought like 5 copies of the same album for herself like damn idk how do you have that much money).

I also really don’t like it when people bash other people’s music tastes, since I feel like it’s something so personal? Idk but for a long time I used to be really self conscious about sharing my music with other people and even now I feel like that sometimes. For me after getting into BTS I kind of expected to get really into other groups since I was in Korea anyway and I was already listening to a lot of other artists casually. For me it started with NU’EST (fell for them immediately at the same concert that I saw Astro at) and then after was Astro, and then I just started slowly getting into other groups after that (even though I haven’t totally been able to get into Got7′s music they’re SO funny and I just kinda fell for their personalities you know).

I honestly think that they did such a wonderful job with this comeback too! I like seeing their concept evolve and mature but they’re not straying too far from their original cute concept so I feel like it’s a nice middle ground that’s very unique to them, you feel? Also I feel like the visuals especially and the execution of the whole plant concept was just done so well?? Even my friend who’s not in kpop was like “k idk who they are but that was the prettiest music video I’ve ever seen”. What are your favourite eras and songs? For me I’d have to say either the Spring Up or Baby era BUT right now my favourite song is probably Again/Should’ve Held On though tbh my mood and my tastes change like every few weeks loool.

I have no idea why I tend to be most attracted to the dances rather than vocals or rap (maybe has to do with the fact that it’s something I’ve always wished I could do but have always been bad at lmao). But Astro’s stood out to me for the exact same reason! I just thought it was so funny seeing them all break character at the end because you really get to see how hard their choreos are and you get a glimpse of their personalities like damn, how can you not stan these dummies?

That’s really unfortunate that you won’t get to see them either :/ They’re also coming to the closest city to me but it’s on a Tuesday, but I *hypothetically* looked up flight prices and tried to see if I could get away with just missing a day of classes if I flew back in the middle of the night since I have some friends who did the same thing and drove down to Buffalo but I seem to have underestimated the size of New York State LMAO. But apparently my university’s too far from the airport so it’s “not realistic” (and also I’m hella broke from travelling to Taiwan and Japan while I was in Korea but that’s a minor issue ig). I hope we do both get a chance to see them live though! Who knows, after the success of this comeback I’m expecting a lot more cbs and world tours out of them ;)

#asa #Anonymous

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