#anyways i should probably actually sleep now

[mobblespsycho100]

which one’s toshiro and whys he autistic?

[ID: full body colored illustration of toshiro from the dungeon meshi manga. /End ID]

THIS FREAKIN GUY!!!! anyway

[ID: anonymous tumblr ask: "would def love to hear ur autistic shuro thoughts". /End ID]

awesome. rant under the cut because it will be long

So before we understand why Toshiro is the way he is we must first understand two things abt him:

1. his household situation is a very traditional clan of warriors type situation. his father is very strict and he left his homeland to go to the Island and explore the dungeon to train and become a warrior to be someone suited as the family head

2. Eastern and Western cultures of respect/propriety are different, and Ryoko Kui highlights it well even in her fantasy world.

With that in mind, heres some bullet point rapid fire thoughts that consume my current state of dunmeshi brain:

Toshiro has an avoidant personality. He fears upsetting others due to his upbringing, and rarely tells others how he feels not because he thinks they would simply understand him but because he doesn't want to seem rude and imposing / cause offense to others especially since he's not in his own homeland / hes a foreigner that should respect the land's customs, not his own wishes.

Setting boundaries is hard for everyone, but especially autistic (and some other ND, like those with Avoidant Personality Disorder) people. Those with ASD, at least in my experience, don't want to be isolated from others. So they mask.

They mask what? their desires. their true selves. their opinions. their discomfort. all for the sake of pleasing others (who are often neurotypical)

With that in mind, suddenly, what Maizuru said abt him as a child makes sense. Due to his strict upbringing, Toshiro had to more or less hide his preferences and force himself to adapt to the rigid constraints of his culture and the pressure to be the next family head, this responsibility is his burden to bear and he cannot be someone who expresses his selfish desires instead of focusing on being a strong warrior and leader

"Why did he say he hate Laios and that it should've been obvious that he disliked/found Laios' treatment of him uncomfortable??" BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS. I'm not going to write off Laios' autism/autistic coding, but its baffling (note: definitely racism and bias for white autistic ppl) to me that a lot of ppl don't see Toshiro's perspective and straight up ignores it. This is a lack of wanting to be rude by speaking up that is based on culture difference on Toshiro's part, and straight up ignorant of his microagressions/racism and lack of self awareness on Laios' end. They were both right, they were both wrong too. This is a complicated conflict that cannot be boiled down to simple ableist/the NT vs ND divide. There's something called . intersectionality. Which brings me to the next point

Toshiro never actually hated Laios. He found him uncomfortable, yes. But he didn't /hate/ him, he was speaking out because he's had enough!!! he's done tolerating Laios' racist bullshit, and he's done following the arbitrary Eastern rules of respecting others and not being rude!!! He. Wants. Laios. To Understand. What. He. Was. Feeling. Because he just had enough!!!!! alright!!! he's at his limit hes at his breaking point, the one he loves is now probably beyond saving, and this is a good time as any to break the news to Laios that he thinks that Laios is impulsive and doesn't fully understand how his actions have consequences!!! Hes right abt this. His feelings on this is valid, just as valid as Laios'

General autistic traits I find from Toshiro: his admiration of Falin's indifference towards insects ("woah shes so brave and gentle!! just like me, fr!!!"), His lack of regard for his own needs and wants (needing to sleep and eat and drink) because he was super focused on saving Falin, His lack of like drastic expression changes, his discomfort with physical touch when it's initiated without consent (see: Laios hugging ppl extra bonus art by Ryoko Kui), his manner of like speaking short and concise, people pleasing tendencies, his like quick way of combat, rule upholder/routine following enjoyer, he seems distant from others even those he consider family not cuz of like any terrible reason but hes just. someone who enjoys his own time alone like. yeah

aannnnndd. thats abt it? i think.

Big part of this is definitely me relating to Shiro as an Asian (specifically chinese indonesian) person who is probably Autistic lmao. I hope this brings more insight on why Toshiro is actually one of the silliest and epiccest dunmeshi characters ever I love him

#asks #dungeon meshi #toshiro nakamoto #dunmeshi #L 👁️‍🗨️🌫️ ! #shuro dunmeshi #(help) #idk if he has tags. does he have fans here. pls say he does

[thr-333]

I just realized. I don't think I've seen anything about April in OaaHF. Where is she? What does she do in the resistence? How aware is she of Leon's situation?

Set while Leon is recovering from his first facial scar:

“No, no way!”

Leon groaned as the yell woke him, sound getting choked out by the bandages wrapped tight around his neck. Constricting his airway making it so he could never get a full breath, was always light headed. Although that could be the bloodloss.

“We need his portals, its not a-”

“I don’t care if it’s a transport mission, I don’t care if he’s at the very back line, you are not getting him out of that bed,”

Leon scrunched up his face so he wouldn’t have to deal with the light of day. Or the light of med bay. He wanted to go back to sleep and it wasn’t even the yelling that was stopping him. Pain flared along his face and shoulder in tandem with his heartbeat. Bandages pulled meticulously tight making every throb worse.

“It’s not an active mission, I’ve mapped out the points all Kraang will be avoided-”

“Then you do it!”

That voice, Leon knew it even past the haze pain. Probably helped that there were no painkillers available to keep him floaty. He sighed his big sisters voice was always soothing, well when she wasn’t yelling at him. Although he supposed she technically was.

“Ape’s I’m needed here,” Leo reasoned, his voice was deep and raspy. Huh Leon wondered if his voice sounded closer to it now, “I can’t up and leave the resistance without aleader for a minor mission,”

“So you admit it’s a minor mission!” April accused, Leon tried to open his eyes. The best he could make out was a couple of blurry figures until the light forced him to shut them.

“Minor but needed, lives are at stake here April,”

“His life is at stake!” Leon opened his mouth, but his throat was raw and the skin of his cheek pulled weirdly threatening to make him throw up if he tried. He tried anyway, why should be matter? “If he moves that wound, the wound you gave him is going to tear right open, he won’t survive that a second time,”

“April it was an accident, my hand slipped,” 

His future self was right of course. After all he had been the one to sacrifice his scarf to keep as much blood inside Leon’s body as possible. He had literally held Leon’s life in his hands. You didn’t do that for a person you were actually trying to kill… no matter how much it looked lik you wanted to seconds before.

That was fine. It was an accident. Leon shouldn’t have baited him.

“Bullshit, also I don’t give a crap, he’s not ready for field work!”

“The doctor cleared him,”

“Which you know they shouldn’t have!” April screeched, ugh Leon wished she wouldn’t, “Come on Leo you're a medic, just look at him!”

There was silence. Leon held still pretending to be asleep. Which was easy as he was teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. Only the jabs of pain and his sister keeping him present.

“It’s between him and them,”

“Him, everytime, my little brother should come first everytime,” Leon’s heart didn’t know if it should skip a beat or clench. It was the answer he wanted to hear- but one he was completely undeserving of.

“I can’t play favorites,”

“Plaaeesseee,” The pure amount of sarcasm poured into the tone would have shot three men dead, “Is that why Mikey’s locked up in the underground bunker within an underground bunker, deep fried and finished with magic?”

“April-”

“Or how about Donnie’s lab, which is enforced with thirty percent of our titanium stores?” Leo would have rolled his eyes if they wouldn't just keep rolling back into his head. Obviously it wasn’t a matter of favoritism, his brothers were simply more important than him, “And how me and Cassie keep getting shortlisted missions? Junior hasn’t left your side in months and you haven't left this safehold in a year? Yet guess who’s going on missions every other week?”

“It’s all a matter of circumstance,” Leo’s voice took on a cold and harsh tone, “I’m trying to keep everyone alive for the sak-”

“Everyone but Leon,” 

She called him Leon… when had he become Leon? When has he started solely thinking of himself as Leon? Why was his futureself exclusively Leo? The thoughts were to hard to capture, slipping through his hands like sand. He wasn’t sure he wanted to dwell on them anyway.

“Well sucks for you but I care about keeping him alive, even if you don’t,” 

That wasn’t fair, he cared about Leon he did, as much as he could. Leon didn’t make it easy, after… after everything he caused. He couldn’t blame his future self for being a bit weird. He cared where it counted. Leon would’ve been dead three times over now if he didn’t.

“This mission is needed-”

“I’ll go then,”

No, April

“April, No,”

“If it’s so important you need to drag him out of bed and risk reopening the slice you put in his neck then it’s important enough for I, commander O’Neil to take over,”

“You’re not who you are in the future, you’re not Commander O’Neil,”

“And I never will be if you keep coddling,” April spat, “Besides I don’t care about being a commander right now, I care about being a sister, so it’s either I take the mission or you cancel it,”

The silence stretched on. Leon grasped onto his threads of consciousness. Purposely twitching his shoulder to get the fiery pain to keep him awake. It was amazing how something could fill him with so much dread yet he still selfishly felt hope that they would go through with it. Because he was selfish, rather stay hidden away in bed in a back room of the stronghold while his big sister fronted all the danger.

“Fine,” Relief and dread, unfortunately not in equal measure, “You come back alive understand?”

“Oh darn, there go my plans,” April tossed back, a shade closer to her usual teasing tone but still tense.

Leo didn’t answer. Because he was Leo, even in Leon’s own mind. But the older turtle huffed. Leon listened to his footsteps fade as Aprils got closer. The dip in his bed bit him to open his eyes.

“Heya blue, you awake?” April’s hand gently brushed his forehead, Leon cringed as he opened his eyes, “How’re you doing?”

He couldn’t answer, not really. So he leaned into her palm. Flinching as the small movement pulled on his wound from neck to cheek. He hissed through the pain. Tight bandages around his throat feeling suffocating as he would have struggled to breath even without them.

“Sorry, sorry, just wanted to check in,” The details of Aprils face were hard to make out pain blurring them out, “I’m going away for a mission,”

“Do… t,” Leon tried to sound out, it didn’t come anywhere close, but hey look at that: His voice was raspy.

“Don’t worry about me, it’s my job to worry about you,” She pat his cheek, thumb rubbing soft circles under his eye, “Seriously, please, it’s ok to care about yourself, you should, once in a whil- actually all the time,”

Leon shook his head imperceptibly. She was wrong. He had done that, over and over again. Each time they lost so much. He couldn’t, not anymore. Why couldn’t she understand that? 

Leo understood that. He knew what it was like to sit with that guilt, that self hate. He knew how to work for others to ease that feeling even a little bit. As losses stacked everyday and crushed him under their weight.

“I bet your thinking something stupid right now,” April pinched his opposite cheek, the unscarred one that showed off his brilliant red stripe, “I wish you were better so I could beat my love into your skull, but we’ll have to save that for when I get back,”

Leon plucked up the strength to use his right arm. Greaspoing Aprils loosely. He needed to get his point across, even without words, he had to.

“I will be alright, you rest up,” April moved from his grasp to instead thread their fingers together, “I’m your big sister, I’m always going to look out for you, even if I have to do that by not being here,”

No, no that wasn’t what he meant. Leo jerked to grab her again. White hot flares shot through his shoulder. Fuck, wrong arm. Darkness clawed at the edge of his vision, plusing in time with the pain searing through him.

“You’re so………. Don’t let anyone convince you…..” April's voice faded in and out, “ We have always…….. None of this………… alright Leon?”

Leon, that was the last word he caught before his world faded to black. The last thing he heard his sister say. 

When he woke up.

She was gone.

#One and a Half Futures #oaahf #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #future leo #rise #tmnt

[crystalitecloudie]

CRUD I LOOKED AT TUMBLR FOR TOO LONG IT CLOSED OUT MY POKEMON SLEEP SESSION

#dipplinshipping #was totally not looking at dipplinshipping #anyways i should probably actually sleep now #its almost 7 am for me

[amelia-yap]

AUEGH

#ruby rose #rwby #obligatory tiny distressed ruby #my art #HELLO I HAVE OFFICALLY FINISHED YET AGAIN ANOTHER ONE OF MY SEMESTERS #and holy shit it was the most awful by far #i felt like absolute shit the entire sem and was behind in literally all of my classes #it was so shit that i actually skipped a class because of the stress of being behind on work. which i had never done before. #i am a criminal now lmao i feel so bad #also a little mad at myself because i know i could've done better. i've been doing the bare minimum and cutting corners #which was very noticeable lol #im gonna actually split my upcoming semester this time my ass and health cannot do this anymore #BUT ANYWAY I FINISHED MY SEMESTER RAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #COUGHS OUT BLOOD AND SINKS BACK INTO EARTH'S CORE AND EVAPORATES #IM DONE!!! #also my eyes are really red now for some reason #probably from the lack of sleep or the long hours staring at my bloody laptop idk #probably both #yeah i should go sleep now lol bye #ranting in the tags because i don't know how to talk like a normal person lmao #sorry if you read all this nonsense jkdhkfsdhfkhd #but i should be more active around here again!

[crepusculum-rattus]

i was feeling normal messing w blinkies 2nite

#oh yeag made w blinkies.cafe #i put c!philza after bc i was like ‘maybe i should clarify’ #all of them are accurate abt me yes #but i like to torment all of phil’s characters #so….. lollllll #anyway i should probably sleep now #gn dashboard o7 #say gn back >:( if u read this far for soem reason #i won’t main tag these actually. i’ll be good or whatever #uhhhhhhhhhh tell me if these need to be tagged for flashing or anything it’s nearly 3am so i am so sleepy and out of it #🐀

[frecklystars]

Thinking abt how Driver misses me when I’m visiting another dimension. He’s happy for me when I’m visiting Ken or Six or whatever, he gets it. but he’s lonely too.

I always wear his jacket when we go to restaurants. But when he goes to restaurants alone now he’s a little... bitter. He just puts his jacket on the back of his chair bc he's already in the habit of taking it off and putting it on me. It feels lonelier wearing it in a restaurant if I'm not there. Feels heavier on his shoulders.

He doesn’t know when I’m coming back, but he orders apple pie at our favorite diner that we normally go to every few nights, because hey, what if I’m coming home tonight? We usually split an apple pie and ice cream. But since I’m not there, he takes it home instead and writes my name on the little to-go styrofoam box, draws a little doodle of a heart or a star next to my name. “she’s definitely coming home today” he thinks as he shoves the box into the fridge with the five or six others; he's been repeating that phrase for a couple of weeks now. That's okay. He's patient.

He gets in his car and he habitually goes to put his right hand on my thigh but he’s just grasping at air — oh, right. He feels an ache in his chest that’s not unfamiliar to him but certainly still unwelcome. He takes a deep breath, and when he returns his hand to grip the steering wheel, he hits the wheel a little harder than he means to. It's fine. It's all fine. He turns on the radio and switches to a station that plays the kind of music I’d like.

He’s a little resentful. What dimension do I like so much right now that’s keeping me away from Driver for days and days? What’s so special about Ken? He makes me laugh? Driver can make me laugh if he tries hard enough. What’s so special about Sebastian? He plays jazz on the piano? I want jazz, Driver can just play jazz on the radio. Six, Officer K, they’re protective, sure, but Driver is plenty protective and he's proven that more than once. Luke has a motorcycle? Driver built his own fucking Malibu, Luke's got nothing on Driver. Jacob has a lot of money? Whatever, Driver can get his hands on a lot of money. What? Driver isn't jealous. Driver isn't upset. Driver doesn't care. Who the hell is Colt Seavers? No, no, Driver doesn't wanna know. He grips the steering wheel a little too tight and clenches his jaw a little too hard. He's. Fine.

Driver doesn’t eat. Driver doesn’t sleep. Driver does nothing but think of his girl.

He keeps looking up at the stars. Where is she. Where is she. She’s gonna fall from the heavens and that fallen star is gonna land right in the palm of his hands and he’s gonna hold her so damn tight. His girl. His sweetheart. She’s coming home tonight. He knows it. He knows it. His chest aches. The sky is empty and god damn it he misses his girl.

#love the idea of him being a smidge obsessed #I’m yearning and y’know what it means my F/Os are yearning for me too god bless amen in Jesus name heads shoulders knees and toes 🙏 #love notes #💕♬♪ ♡ I do nothing but think of you - ̗̀💙🔨 ̖́- #it's 8am and i should sleep. keyword should. will i actually? haha... probably not #turns out *i* dont eat *i* dont sleep *i* do nothing but think of Driver TOO #thinking about how he WANTS and YEARNS and ACHES #living every day like it's his last but hE ISN'T LIVING!!!!! #i need to make a whole essay on Six/Driver/Joe because my GOD the SIMILARITIES of how they approach their limited lifespan. HOO!!!! #anyway i miss driver so much i cried about it and now im augh. weepy. sniffly and STUPID FOR HIM

[rillette]

I colored it and added internal dialogue o7 

#hal jordan #green lantern sleepers #basketball #hal's internal dialogue is adapted bc there isn't like actual internal dialogue going on #anyways ive been listening to the new muse album on loop for the past. checks watch #at least three hours probably #its good. #ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh completely satsified with all of this but like. eh. i like the background so who give a shit #its me i give a shit but also i dont care i want to go to sleep its almost three am in the morning #i SHOULD have given him a bloody nose if i wanted to be CANON ACCURATE but i forgor </3 #ok im going to stop talking in tags and post this now byeeeeeeeeeee

[silenthillbunni]

🏥🦷

#damn my teeth on my left side reallyyyyy fkn hurt #last night it started hurting so bad i couldnt fall asleep #i took some regular over the counter pain pills nd they brought down the pain a bit #so it at least didnt hurt as bad as it did first #but now after sleeping a few hours it still hurts :// #idk what to do... bc i've googled but it is like impossible for me to know what this is. could be anything rlly #nd w physical health stuff im not as terrified bc i can just go to the ER. when i was there it only cost $15 lol #but dental care is so fkn expensive i dont even have that in my account #anyway. i could get an 'urgent appointment' which i get financial aid for... probably. thats the thing. it's not 100% certain #idk what i should do bc like i could wait it out nd see if it'll pass nd then wait on my appt the 6th may #or maybe i should call my dentists nd ask them what they think nd if they can give me an urgent appt.. #i hate calling tho. i know that sounds ridiculous esp when im dealing w pain but my avpd makes it so so hard for me. i'd almost rather not #if i was smart nd normal thats what i would do. just call them nd see what they decide for me. maybe i'll wait nd see nd call tmrw.... #nd idk abt the pain. like it rlly hurts but it isnt extreme i think.. but when i press one tooth it hurts a lot nd makes me worried it's #dying 💀 nd like u can actually die from teeth pain nd complications... nd infections nd stuff. it's scary af 😭 #idk if my tooth is dying nd i need to contact a dentist rn or if its smth that can wait for a bit #i mean if i had a job nd a salary i'd book an appt for tmrw nd get it checked but i have to discuss w myself bc i cant afford lol #ugh this is the reason im terrified of dental problems. the pain is awful nd theres nothing u can do if you're poor #my head keeps spinning idk what i should do abt this 😭 i csnt make up my mind. just want it to go away on its own but i know it wont #nd it hurts so that i can barely sleep or eat or concentrate. so i rlly dont know..... #oh if only things were easy

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1-2, Chapter #09

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I’m doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc.

The volume numbers will be mismatched for most of the remainder of Trigun, since the Japanese first edition is 3 volumes while all later versions are 2 volumes.

As always, here are the non-analysis panels:

And the rest is under the cut.

[link for if the images aren’t in horizontal rows]

To start off, we have Meryl talking about buying designer handbags. This part was very confusing in Japanese because even though I could recognize Prada, the two other brands she named were completely bogus to me. What the hell are エピピ(Epipi) and NCM!?

So I asked my mom about it last night (she knows a decent amount about brands popular in the 90's, since she was still living in Japan back then). She was also stumped for a bit, but after a while she asked to see the way "Prada" looked. She noticed that it was written like プラーダ(purāda) rather than the correct プラダ(purada). I didn't notice because I don't know shit about fashion... but she suggested that maybe all of these were slight variations on real-life brands. She said that NCM is probably based on MCM Worldwide.

Epipi probably took a solid 20 minutes to figure out.... We were naming every brand on earth searching for anything that could even vaguely sound like "epipi." Right when we nearly ran out of ideas, she thought of googling just part of the name, like "epi brand," and voila, apparently there's a line of Louis Vuitton leather called Epi.

Epipi (and brain soup) is an inside joke between us now btw.

The chapter cover!! Everyone here is so damn cute... also I'm sitting almost exactly how Vash is right now.

This is the second appearance of Vash's shades. I can't see the details, but the design looks the same as the one before.

I'd completely forgotten how tiny Kaito is??? Literally half of Vash's height.

Vash's response to Kaito's insult(?) is「お前そりゃないだろ…」and is something more like "C'mon, man..." or "Seriously?"

big eyes vash big eyes vash i want to scoop him up and put him in a jar with holes in the lid

It's so cool how Vash immediately understands exactly what's going on through what he's overhearing, thanks to his childhood on the spaceship and his time at Home. How can this man not drive

I think the engineer is talking about the Plant here, so it should be "The shock could kill it." (although the Plant dying would also kill everyone else. ykwim)

Didn't know that guy was called a helmsman.... In Japanese, the word for helmsman, 操舵手 (the scan is super blurry and looked like 士 but the correct word is 手) was written as ライツ(raitsu) with 操舵手 written in the ruby. Maybe raitsu was the name of the helmsman? Or it might be something else boat-related that I don't know about.

Vash's silent reaction to Kaito's words say a lot. This behavior is nearly identical to Vash's (again, more so in Maximum, after Vash remembers the events of July and gets even more depressed). He understands Kaito's pain and guilt, and worries for him, but he also can't help but see himself in the boy... however he feels about that. This gets a bit more into theory territory, but I think Vash doesn't want Kaito to turn out like himself. Of course, he wants everyone to strive for peace; he wants people to be like that part of himself, in that regard. However, he doesn't want people to act self-destructive like he is. One obvious reason is that Vash genuinely doesn't want Kaito to be hurt, especially when he believes that people always deserve to start over and live a happy life.... But another underlying reason could be that he doesn't like percieving parts of himself in others, out of self-hatred.

One of my favorite lines ever!!!!! (has 50 favorites)(its not my fault trigun/trimax is so constantly banger) While humans views the Plant as a tool and an incomprehensible being, Vash simply views them as just a girl that needs calming down—"people" just like him and everyone else. He has a familial relationship with every Plant, which I absolutely adore. And!!! I will expand on this bit in the next(I think) arc and beyond, or maybe even make a separate post!!! I have so many thoughts surrounding this and it's a core theme to Trigun as a whole.

Noting some SFX since some non-Japanese readers may not have noticed - the plant is making a high-pitched scream from here on. Also, Kaito says that it's a "voice," not a "sound."

More Plant object-person dichotomy!! This unfortunately gets lost in translation, but it's a very neat storytelling trick. In Japanese, This is written in an interesting way:「プラント――　それは『造りだす』もの」 with もの(mono) having dots above them (in this context acting like italicization for emphasis in English). Usually, this もの would be more specific. There's 物(mono) which means "object" or "thing," and there's 者(mono) which means "person" or sometimes "being." The narrator intentionally leaves the identity of the Plant vague. Again, in humans' eyes, Plants are machines of production. In Vash's eyes, Plants are full-fledged people.

I would write that line closer to the original format, with quotes around "creates" and leaving it at that.

A longer translation correction—just going to transcribe it here:

水 紫外線 酸素 そして微電力を与える事によって物理法則を超えた『生産』活動を行う生体システムである They are organic systems that, when fed water, ultraviolet light, oxygen, and a bit of electricity, can "produce" things in a process that surpasses all physical law.

The sound effect here is loud footsteps on metal. I think it's neat that Nightow showed Vash running up the stairs with just onomatopoea and a shot of the stairs.

In Japanese, Vash says that he's counting on/leaving the rest up to the engineers/the others on the ship, after telling them to deal with it.

Again, Vash considers the Plant his family, a sister. He is talking directly to them and treating them with respect. The word used here is actually 兄弟(kyoudai), which means "brother(s)"/olderbrother-youngerbrother, where in this situation with a brother and sister of unspecified age/order it would usually just be きょうだい(kyoudai, spelled out)... it may be that back then, people didn't really specify or mix-and-match sibling gender (姉弟 兄妹 etc) in writing as much as we do now.

The first appearance of feathers on Vash!! During my first read, I was absolutely mesmerized by this page. Mannnnnnn the angel imagery....

Also bonus reaction from my dear friend from my Instagram liveposting back in April (yeah. my first read was only a bit over 2 months ago). booty CRACK

This is the "beeeeeeep" sound of a flatlining heart monitor. Until now I thought it was more of an imaginary thing to show that their hearts have stopped, but I just realized that it may also be a real sound of the Plant's vital monitors. Could be either, to be honest.

Apparently "yards" are normal? In Japanese it's written as ヤーズ(yādzu, yards) instead of what would regularly be just ヤード(yādo, yard), so that may be the subtle miles-iles change?

This line would be "The pipes are stuck! They won't even budge!"

And the SFX here is a distant chattering and cheering crowd.

And here is the last scene, with Kaito humming Rem's favorite song. Idk, this just gives me a raw emotional reaction... I can't really analyze it lol. Rejoicing that you've survived through hardship. That while things still aren't perfect, this imminent danger has passed. That you still get to enjoy being alive. The same song of humanity still sang. Something something....

Anyways that’s it for Chapter #09! As always, the Japanese annotations are in the reblogs.

#mother comes to the rescue once again #'how can this man not drive' i say...not having a drivers license #actually yknow its the passenger princess swag. chauffeur for me boy #also finally installed a browser extension to store my em dashes and macrons 💪 <-was googling it every time until now #ik alt codes exist but they dont work on my puter. probably bc its bootcamp (windows on a mac) #we should probably use the macos side more buttttttt all our files and games are on windows :/ #trigunbookclub #trigun annotation #trigun #trigun manga #hopeposting...(clenches fist) #ok time to cry myself to sleep now goodnight yall i hope the best for each and every one of yougjhfkhbm....(sobbing) #like actually im tearing up typign this at 1:30am #anyways anyways nighty night

[miallurk]

In these days i realized i like art and writing and creating and shopping and taking walks and talking to people and cleaning and helping and studying and doing things but i'm just. too stressed, tired and burned out to do them. How great!

#i am losing my sanity day by day #drowning myself in the nearby lake seems better and better every day #why am i even writing this i have literally no mutuals or even people who'd care about #don't mind me crying myself to sleep haha #ooooh look at this pathetic baby. sitting in their little bed crying stupid tears. i should at least get tissues now while my crying isn't #fuck history fuck school and fuck me i quess #am i gonna start treating this as an actual blog and make a sideblog for reblogs? who knows! certainly not me; stay tuned for the story! #i'm gonna go and just let it all out into a pillow #vent ig #my mom is blasting holiday music in the other room lol #nice to have a whatever the fuck im having while “jingle bells” plays #at least i'm not hearing mariah carey ig #anyway i've probably hadn't been taking care of myself lately it has been worse despite me promoting it to everyone who needs #when i vented last time and it wasn't taken seriously so woop #anyway imma go try to calm myself and back to my notes i go #please gods what did i do to deserve thi s shit. fuck you #i hate it here i really do. i hate when these people talk to me i hate them. i at least can be sorta accquaitances with one but they just. #all stare and laugh? i actually can't. like i'm some fucking clown and laughing stock. just kill me at this point. i have been enduring this #for YEARS and suddenly i'm being a little bitch about it?? what the fuck. why am i so mushy all of a sudden. being shown an ounce of respect #and care made me expect it more? fuck #i'm just setting myself up for failure. i am just a giant loser and failure of a person. #everything seems so fucking hard. and pointless. i am tearing my rotten little heart apart with this. i am once again grieving things #long ago and things i never had. my everything has to be pleasing to an outsider #my value is my suffering. am i breaking enough? is this beautiful to look at #at my self destruction? i hate myself. i treat others so cruelly. i am a horrible fucking person. #my problems are not their burden - i forced it on them. wept like a baby because she left me. and what happened in the end? my paranoia got #to me. i left them. i fucking. i fid the thing i was afraid of being done to me. #this is showing so many issues. #so many things wrong with me. i shouldn't even be alive by this point - i wasn't supposed to survive past 12 #i am being forced to do this every day. someone please just end my fu king suffering

[morningmask27]

One thing I fucking hate about my sleep is that I'm exhausted the entire day, but as soon as the lights are off and I'm in bed I become restless, literally.

I am thinking too hard about things, rotating like crazy to find a semi comfortable position to sleep in, thinking too hard about my past again (tell me it's shit, please, I need people to heckle at it with. I am being a hater alone and that's not fun), having to physically not move for twenty minutes in the hopes of falling asleep, my entire body goes numb because IT does, but not my brain. Then it's not good, so I have to move and thus undo the last twenty minutes of trying to fall asleep to find another position and try again.

All that and I go to bed at midnight and only fall asleep at two in the morning, my sleep is absolute shit and truly I want a refund

#morningtalks #And this is without the other facts that I wake up a few times a night for seemingly no reason. Multiple times a night. Truly. #If I fall asleep around midnight I can guarantee you I'll wake at 3 am. 5-6 am 9 am 10 am 11 am and then at 12. #Every fucking night is the same #And I'm fucking exhausted when I wake up since my sleep is not good in de either #I don't remember last time I actually woke up well rested. And since I'm chronically sleep deprived I let myself sleep a bit more til 12. #But I'm not well rested and energized for the day when I wake up #Part of it is probably also because I'm NOT a morning person (despite what my name suggests) but still. It takes me a good while to functio #Fucking shit sleep I'm complaining about at three am when I should be sleeping actually but I'm mad about it Right Now #Anyways wish me luck on my next attempt at falling asleep without pain or exhaustion or anger

[axemetaphor]

loving the most annoying man you know aint easy but its honest work

#um. i have many of these now #this is just going to be a doodle blog for now ig KJHGFDS #am i manic? actually i dont know. but i do know ive been nonstop drawing runnin around doin stuff etc etc #i have about 5? projects ongoing right now #guess ill be posting about those more soon. most are OC projects tho. theyll go on my other blog #jdate #john dies at the end #cheesewong #johndave #my art #doodles #anyway. happy midnight! i should go sleep. .....i probably will not lkjhgfd

[milkweedman]

Accidentally made coffee with about 8-10 times the ideal amount of grounds (its technically drinkable but only with an absurd amount of 1/2 & 1/2 and even then it still tastes very bad) but ! I did at least manage to weigh down my warp for the last little bit. Only one side of the connectors snapped so it was all lopsided, and once i hit the tape i either had to detatch the apron bar and do this or tie it back down but with the exact matching length with a warp still attached, and this seemed a lot easier. Downside is that i have to pull the loom forward so i can fit back there and remove all the weights every time i need to advance the warp, but still. Theres only the smallest bit left.

#did not get a moment of sleep #did lay down for several hours if only to stop the number of sleep deprivation induced fuckups from reaching critical mass #bc its hard to fuck up all that rapidly when laying in bed #but i am very unhappy. and very tired. and more than a little bit insane. #99% sure the overwhelming majority of my insanity is just the compounding effects of having had chronic insomnia my entire life #altho it didnt actually bother me very much until i hit my twenties #and now i desperately need sleep and want to sleep so bad all the time and. dont. and cant. and it blows. #anyway. pretty sure this coffee will not be better when lukewarm so i should probably start chugging it #weaving

[welcometogrouchland]

"what if Luz sacrifices herself at the end of the show 🥺😭" then maybe in the afterlife she'll FINALLY be able to talk to all these bitches haunting the narrative!!!

#ramblings of a lunatic #toh #luz noceda #YES that includes Caleb and Evelyn but more importantly MANNY!!!! HER DAD!!!!!!!!!!!! #if luz does a big hero sacrifice she should do the ''meeting your loved ones at the bridge between life and death- #-and they encourage you to keep on living'' #because no Luz is not going to actually die. i don't actually believe the ''sacrifices herself'' theory that much either #but at worst she'll pull an anne amphibia. she is not staying dead this is the Disney channel you guys #oh wait tbh. yknow who it'd be cool for her to talk to in the afterlife in this scenario I've cooled up?? #the titan. king's dad #he just like. holds her up with his ghost palm and is like. thanks for taking care of my boy. please go be alive again #and luz is like aight. and then she does #aw wait that'd be cute #anyway I'll shut up abt the owl show now I was just listening to the thanks to them ost and getting feelings abt it jdbdkgjt #i should go sleep probably i have. a lot of travel to do tomorrow

[stereax]

woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way

but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D

anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎

#sterechats :) #09:58 pm - this is a bad idea but scheduling it anyway #what's the worst that can happen really? everyone leaves again? nobody talks to me again? #probably gonna delete this in the morning so. meh. not like it matters not like I matter :D #10:29 pm - wow it feels like my head is on fire #like my brain is actually burning and I can't do a damn thing about it #I should be happy right now! the devils are winning! my favorite guys are scoring! #but no! I'm barely keeping it together around my family and praying I don't wake up tomorrow <3 #11:00 pm - I need to get out of here #I need to get out of here out of here out of here I can't stay here any more this is killing me #everyone hates me and I need to chew my arms open maybe then everything will make sense #why am I even writing these tags what does it matter #I was so much more in control of myself when I was sh-ing #maybe I should get back to that maybe it'll help I don't know anymore #I just want my friends back but they hate me hahahaha #11:24 pm - wonder how many people are gonna block me after this one #how many people will finally be fed up and leave for good #everyone leaves and I should be used to this by now #here's a truck stop instead of saint peter's (yeah yeah yeah yeah) #11:41 pm - it's friday afternoon/there goes antigone to be buried alive #in the next world I want to be something useful/like a staple gun/or in love #I would fall off a cliff for you/a thousand times and call it a good day #maybe I'm just incapable of being human! maybe that's it! #maybe I'm not even human at all... but something worse instead... #1:22 am - moving the posting of this back from 3 to 6 am #not that that matters and not that I matter but I don't think I'll sleep #and I don't want this to post when I'm awake #I know I'm just going to get unfollowed and blocked and left behind as always #because happiness and good things and friendships just aren't things I get to have really #I just wish people would stop lying and telling me they're different and they'll stay when they're not different and won't stay

[mattodore]

VERY early stages of creation!!!!!!! but this is what i've been doing for the last few hours. i wish i could make his eyes look more hollow and deep-set but alas... the limitations of the sims' sliders...

#river dipping #kavi sunder #look at me........ actually in cas making new sims that's so crazy who would've thought #he's probably going to look completely different by the time i finish with him lmao #the fc i'm using for him was actually the fc i was going to use for jackson but then i was like. should this man's name really be JACKSON? #and i'm too emotionally attached to jackson's full name so i couldn't part with it #sfdkjnhdjfngh so now i'm adding another guy to echthroi bc i just really wanted him in there somehow... like the fc is too good to pass up #i'm thinking he's one of theo's classmates like he's not in theo's party/friend group........ but he's on the outskirts trying to get in #again theo is like i'm so unlovable no one likes me and then you look to the left and there's a line of ppl wanting to get to know him #so funny how long this is taking me to finish. like. there's only one skin detail on him rn and all i've done is finish #going thru the makeup categories... 100% true that i take decades on ocs but townies or w/e are like. only thirty minutes to an hour #i was making him while my best friend was sleeping over but now that she's gone i'll try getting some sleep too #i'll get back to it once i wake up bc i've just rlly been in the mood to make sims lately... might have to be a little chef again soon #anyway goodnight friends <3 absolutely forgot to answer those messages from the other day i'm sorry dfjhfhjbb i WILL get to it tho i swear!