#augh. why cant i TALK

[cicadas-epiphany]

I wanna make more friends with similar interests on here, but like. To make friends... you have to be active. And I am a very non-verbal person so I dont have anything to say or post. So no one is interested because why should they be? I've not said anything to grab their attention. So its frustrating

#pip rambles #augh. why cant i TALK #i want FRIENDS but what do i SAY to make people wanna be friends?? #fucku

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

woohoo !!!!!1!1!1!1!!1!1!1!1

#blurrggfhffhddfhgh i hate drawing and art and aajhdkdhfkdjdd dies #mostly just drawinf men actually #hashtag lesbian moment /j #art #homestuck #alpha kids #jane crocker #roxy lalonde #jake english #dirk strider #janeroxy #cotton candy #dirkjake #i keep drawing the alpha kids. why. im not even a bit fan of like. half of them. and i cant draw them well. augh #why do i do this to myself #/hj #also this is with no refs because i had no wifi so it looks like shit #ok im done talking now

[autism-corner]

augh look at my wife Y-Y

#some officials from twitter (i think) #PLEASE. #PLEASE.... #im on my knees begging ....... #theres NO food on ao3 sadly and :((( #augh you would NOT understand. #please. #piercings................. #from madness with love #please why is no one in this tag anymore i need people to talk to :( #sillyposting #I LOVE HIM SM OML. #you ever look at a man and just giggle because of how pretty he is??? <3 #AUGH. #you dont understand the emotional damage he specifically is doing to me :( #i need to print some pictures of him to put up in my room i wanna look at him 24/7 #augh if only i had a good bit of cardboard hed be such a good cutout... #WAIT maybe i do o.o... ooh.... #hed fit so well next to my seiko cutout theyre basically the same person.... #but unforts theres already a big poster i cant move so somewhere else'll have to do.... #WAIT. yes. i found the perfect spot. YAYYAYYAYAYYA #AUGH. AUGHAGUHAGUH. #insufferable pain bc my husband is too pretty.

[genderfluid-and-confuzled]

my father has friends over and they're in the kitchen and i wish they'd leave so i could make dinner. i hate them. i hope they die. i don't really.

#the problem is i so rarely have dinner motivation! why must they be in the kitchen! AUGH! #and i need a bandaid for my toe (fucked up) #and i hate that i can hear thema nd i cant focus and #saturn talks

[blue-rick24]

I hate it here I love it here I hate it here I love it here I-

#😭😭😭 #vent #venty #AUGH I CANT JUST BE NORMAL #WHY IS SOCIAL MEDIA HARD AGAIN WHY DO I FEEL BURNT OUT ON EVEN THE MOST TRIVIAL THINGS? #yell #rant #scream #pain #txt #ooc #I just want to have a good time here with you all but I feel SO motherfucking drained when I even think about..’talking’? IDK (it barely is #I am known for the energy I bring to my tags on here & I love to do so n go crazy #But now even the thought of reblogging the stuff I want to makes my brain roll the fuck over #God dammit why😭 Why can’t I have joy lmao

[lilowoof]

I'm so fucking excited to get all this outstanding work done, and for tax season to fuck off. I cannot wait to have more time to play games with pals, go out with friends whom I haven't seen in a few months....go to some random meetups to meet new ppl and create new connections (and perhaps snag me a new person wink wonk LMAO).

And just...have more time to live. To stop feeling as lonely as I am feeling rn. CAUSE HOO BOY, it's been hitting me hard. And I can't do too much about it CAUSE of the deadlines I need to meet!

#I have learned my lesson: no more zines. or rather. no more modding zines #as much as I love you grizz zine. the amount of work you have placed on my shoulders is too much. heck. the other mods have it worse #I dont enjoy doing overtime and coming home to work on the art for the zine that I really should have had help with :') #27 spots...thats way too much for me at least. my hands are struggling and I am getting flare ups again. and I am not including the notes #I legit havent drawn anything for me in months because of this and I just wanna draw abby n pilos cuddling!!!!!! LMAO #and I so badly want to reach out to ppl to play games with and I cant cause Im either WORKING or WORKING #I really want to stream games again too.....I REALLY want to play 999 with someone :'))))))))))) would be a fun game to share...... #and the cube escape game too #AUGH I HATE BEING SO BUSY AND ALONE SOMETIMES LMAO. IDM being single but this is an instance where a partner would be nice to have to blab #but ye I am so excited for may. most things will be done and work will still be rough but more manageable! #so ye. IM so sorry if you read all this I just like talking. and I dont really have anyone to talk to rn except myself XD #(ye ye I could reach out to ppl but hm. well I am tbh LOL. but ya know. busy. haha) #also typing has been really painful lately. the only reason why these tags are ending is cause my hands are numb from typing. :'))))))))))) #ok goodnight

[everydaygremlin]

weird fucked up creature (me) was forced to do a Social Activity while tired (oh no)

family forced weird fucked up creature to do it anyways. even though weird fucked up creature was obviously very distressed.

weird fucked up creature (me) had to go hide under a table with headphones on and curled into a ball for ages afterwards.

nobody learnt anything here

#sound in general right now is AUGH #makes me want to shout #and not to mention thos fucking FATIGUE #SO TIRED #I WAS TIRED BEFORE BUT NOW #I CANT EVEN TALK PROPERLY #WHY

[lazyblogposter]

Please please tell me I'm not the only one who ships Fyr and Neloth please I can't be the only one

#idk why they should be together but they should #im just a freak for rivals #enemies to lovers is my kryptonite #max talks #divayth fyr #neloth #Telvanni #Morrowind #also just a completely different note #i spent a hour straight last night just listening to Neloth voice lines #quite the enlightening experience #i love his voice actor so much but i cant remember his name AUHH #i know he played in Chowder. i loved that show as a kid #but i just cant unhear the chowder guy whenever i listen to Neloth #and vise versa #please listen to Neloth voice lines its hilarious #I MEANT TO POST THIS ON MY OTHER SIDEBLOG AUGH

[potatobugz]

opening untitled google doc #7592 so I can attempt to write something again but ultimately never finish it

#rambles #but ill keep doing it bc. if i dont write i will never learn #i had another homestuck scenario i wanted to write but you see i only have an idea for one specific part #and i have 0 writing experience so i cant write it that well if i dont have a good udea 4 what i want to happen #anyways the premise is that feferi ascends to god tier (more like cod tier) after eridan kills her #& she revives nepeta and equius. the rest of the trolls r like hesitant to revive eridan right away #but feferi goes ahead and revives him anyway bc she has very conflicting feelings & shes like 'i just wanna talk 2 him 38(' #ofc this backfires #eridan waking up & immediately assuming the worst; freaks out and runs away from her cuz he thinks shes gonna [krill] him again #(fish pun bc i saw the opportunity and couldn't resist) #then he runs into kanaya and freaks out EVEN MORE and then attempts to run down stairs & trips on his dumb scarf (affectionate) #and falls down a flight of stairs #ive had that specific scenario in my mind for like a few days now!!! and ive been dying to put it down somewhere!! augh #other cincepts i havent fleshed out include: eridan hiding from everyone on the meteor. eridan and gamzee alliance maybe. #some exploration on how kanaya feels abt this bc i feel like kanaya is always portrayed as angry at eridan but ppl forget WHY shes angry!!! #shes *greiving*. the matriorb was like the hope for their entire race & she was tasked 2 protect it and it got destroyed #its very sad to me. murderstuck as a whole is tragic 2 me because theyre all children and i dont think any of them shoulda died #idk i hope that makes sense #um also eridan putting themself in a cycle of 'not evil anymore i want to be loved now. evil again' cuz #characters who destroy their relationships w others over and over again mean everything to me. self destructive characters my beloved #and also everyone who was revived makes it to the alpha session so eridan and roxy friendship can thrive <3 (i am ill) #and also eridan transgender arc is mandatory sorry #wow i am sorry 4 talking so much down here ive been DYING 2 get this idea out but like #i cant ramble normally in posts i have to do it in the tags or i get self conscious otherwise agh #feel free to add onto this if youd like i think #homestuck #oh also maybe nonbinary roxy too maybe bc i really like nb roxy headcanon and also t4t pale eriroxy so wonderful

[takitori67]

Facebook reminded me that on December 24th I finally got to kiss Junao right on the mouth

#marry proposal speedrun on Christmas #this was on 2021 🥺 i cant wait to smooch juna too augh idk why but it used to feel so easy back then with only part 1 and 1.5 #okay delulu time is over. go back to revising time #rambling and talking

[elegyofthemoon]

there's a piece i want to write eventually. when my brainrot comes back and kicks me, but I think it works better visually (like if you look at the text altogether than looking at the words)

the idea was having a constant statement that serves as the "grounding" statement for the character - something the character comes back to as the following paragraphs get longer and longer - messier and messier - replicating both panic and mess that the character feels

until it resets with the statement.

and then it rebuilds and rebuilds again

then i thought also about like. at some point the character wont have that "grounding" technique anymore so the paragraphs get longer and longer and there's just no stop. run on sentences and garbled mess until it just ends abruptly

but idk i cant execute that lmao it's prettier in my head as a concept and i don't want to disappoint the character

#i say this as though the characters alive #asdkjfalkh sorry #but its just.. #idk #i have so many writing projects in my head all the time #if im not writing then it just sits and haunts me for eternity until i finally work on them #i worked on octavia's writing yesterday and now i feel Dead mentally #and yet i still want to write and make further progress bUT IM SO TIRED but #this is like the only time i could writeproperly #im just mad that my break got wasted on being sick #i had all these plans to go out and adventure around and i cant do that bc i fell ill :/ its annoying #so its just projects after projects #and if i cant finish the projects then im just annoyed at myself #this was about a piece i wanted to write for uhhhh #risutaiosu i believe #for the sunchildren #for risutaiosu #you can take a guess how i wouldve written it #sorry to talk about writing here asldkjfah i guess ive been pretty talkative lately who knows why #but augh #i want to return to writing suns of helios sooooo so bad #but i feel like i made the project bigger in my head #and then i got defeated by it and then i switched to different projects instead but ehh #anyways mostly noting to myself as an idea to do #they stressed so much about how the kid focused so much on his art as a way to ground himself in times of anxiety #so thats how i wanted to write this piece #but that also means having to dig and try to understand enkanomiya politics and lore again #WHICH WAS CLEARER IN MY HEAD WHEN I WAS FIXATED ON THE PROJECT #not so much anymore because ive drifted but #yeah

[bare1ythere]

Having lots of thoughts about how sensitive I am to others' opinions on my hyperfixation

#shut up me #UGH. I really just cant stomach seeing people disliking the characters/stories that I love or are important to me #not in the sense that it annoys me or makes me mad or anything like that #It just makes me feel like shit! #and I think a big reason why is that im scared to be ''wrong'' #im worried that liking the things I like (even when harmless) makes me a horrible person #and that anyone who disagrees with me automatically hates me or thinks less of me #even when I don't? feel this way about people who disagree with me??? #Its why I dont talk about things or characters I dislike in dr (other than the obvious egregious shit) on my sideblog #I dont want anyone who Likes those things to see it feel the way I feel ALL THE TIME. #Like okay I know v3's ending and mastermind reveal was contentious ive known this FOREVER and I know and can understand why #but it just makes me feel! so bad! when people dislike it #theyre so so allowed to I just dont know what to dooo #to a certain extent I just want to drown myself in fun and positivity because im just so tired of constantly feeling guilty and anxious #but i think its doing more harm to me in the long run #because I cant handle any negativity even when its warranted #but again. im just so tired of feeling anxious and guilty all the time for no reason at all #idk how to handle this im just. augh #Polls on my dash that are all in good fun but are stressing me out because I cant handle this stuff like a normal person )b #maybe delete later

[cosmic--static]

//

#(not so)happy first time since my grandpas passing in july that I've realized how much i miss him #i was talking to an older man at the art store today about his art and he told me that he and his wife were civil war reenactors #and i thought it was so cool and i had a thought of 'oh man i should tell grandpa about this' #and just got stuck on. I cant #and it was a moment of oh man. theres a lot of wild things my color theory professor talks about that i would have LOVED to tell my grandpa #because he always questioned and wanted to know why someone did something #god it got annoying sometimes but im literally never going to find someone that im going to have that type of conversation with again #something something passage of time #it sucks. im never going to have someone to play chess with like i did with him again #no more music #OH MAN THERE WAS SOMEONE PLAYING A HARMONICA AT THE MARKET TODAY AND I ALMOST LOST IT #i have homework to do but augh crying #cosmo talks

[fleshdyke]

☹️

#not a great first day. augh. #as we are all aware a bunch of my closest friends stopped talking to me and wouldnt tell me why. so seeing them again and especially seeing #them all talk to each other and have fun stung a bit. and then my phone died and i couldnt remember what room my math class was in so i got #there late. and when i walked in when i tell you that everyone started laughing im so fucking serious. #and i just grabbed a random seat and the girls who were sitting there were i shit you not the most stereotypical high school mean girls you #have ever fucking met. like they were laughing at me when i sat down and kept looking at their friends and were texting each other and #laughing in that way you can Tell theyre bullying you. like when you’ve been bullied your entire life you can tell. but its not like i have #any proof of them doing this so i cant really do anything. and this group of boys were just openly making fun of me like 🧍‍♂️ #and whenever i ticced which was a lot bc this was fucking stressful these girls i was sitting with would stare at me and then giggle to each #other like STOP. i quite literally didnt do anything but sit there and they were bullying me for fucking existing #and then the entirety of my old friend group was in my art class and its so nerve wracking being around them bc i still dont know what i did #like i want to kind of spite them by being happy without them but i also kinda wish i could just drop dead so they could know how much #that effected me. idk man. it sucks #and then theres the whole thing with getting on the wrong bus and walking home and im in so much pain rn. just. not a great start. #rambles #vent

[volatilechemicalz]

I've made a playlist for yetd donnie's villain arc that I've decided they're having now if you excuse me I have to go be mentally I about this and draw

#noodle talks #not art #yetd #yellow eyes in a turtle disguise #rottmnt au #rottmnt donnie #i have. so many thoughts #my own creation is killing me #this is also probably really bad spoilers #but fuck it we ball #and bawl #because AUGH #im #ough #i cant even put into words what kind of villain they are #its so tragic as to why they get like this #but its not justified and theyre still in the wrong #and this doesnt help them #but damn that turgle is self desructive #anyway i need to shush now #before i lore drop everything #Spotify

[lightnersdream]

want to do things witb my friends but by i have time i amtired:(

#physically and mentally augh #im always tired... #dib noise #its really frustrating me bdcause i cant figure out why . im doing everything right #i feel like it makes me unfun to talk to or play games with