#bc i know im gonna fail i just know it

[shevr]

workout mix

#this was fun to draw but hhghrghrgh again i spent too much on it im so bad at just making satisfying doodles fast #like i wanna draw stuff as warmup thats fun to do & also ideally looks kinda nice bc THEN i need to try to get other more serious work too #but at the moment i just spend too long on the warmup & then fail to move on to something else hhhhhh #i'll get better i'll get faster i'm not dead yet #anyway yeah she's listening to you're gonna go far kid. you know why. my little pony rainbow dash you're gonna go far kid [explicit]. #shevr #my lines #mlp

[cherrirui-official]

"You know... You didn't have to take that with you."

"But I promised him I'd take him out to see the ocean one day."

#for context uhmm how do i explain this #so around a few weeks after Jd arrives Bruce is like “Hey... where are the others?” #and Jd is like “ooooh 🤪🤪 he doesnt know...” #Since at this time JD believes that the entire tribe is dead. including his brothers and grandma #so Jd has to take Bruce to the now abandoned troll tree and give him the bad news #Bruce doesnt believe it at first. even if the tree is abandoned they cant be dead? right?? they cant be #so he rushes over to their grandma's pod. thinking that theyre just in hiding and waiting for them to return #and all Bruce is able to find in the empty pod is Branch's old stuffed toy Croco #which solidifies to Bruce that everyone is dead. their friends their family. everyone #Bruce is obviously devastated by the news. he doesnt show it a lot but he doesnt take it too well #he ends up bringing Croco with him back to Vacay Island and patches Croco up #since Croco is a bit worn out due to being left in the pod for years #and since then Bruce always keeps Croco hidden in his hair. both as a memoir of his baby brother #and also a reminder of how he failed as an older brother... ouch #ofc the others arent dead. its just that now both Jd AND Bruce believe that the rest of the trolls are dead #also King Trollex is there bc i wanted to put him there. I like Trollex :] #a knee ways more bb au art i promise the next bb au art will be lighthearted #tho now im gonna work on the next violet gijinka batch bc ive been starving my friendlocke audience for too long #sorry friendlocke fans ill feed u next dw #cherris canvas #trolls #trolls band together #trolls john dory #john dory trolls #trolls bruce #bruce trolls #king trollex #beach bros au #sorry for rambling in the tags i hope u dont mind ahaha

[mostlymaudlin]

was starting to hijack in the tags of that post i just reblogged but ohhhhh it is so juicy to me that the end of TKM is just part of the rising action of andrew's character arcs. and yet the way the novel leaves off, you can have so much hope in the ways its going to continue -- especially because neil proves to us on the last page that he's going to fight like hell to hold onto him whatever comes next.

it's just !!!! all andrew's deals are done. neil's big happy moment of relationship security comes from the fact that andrew didn't deny its existence lol. BUT neils correct to be happy about this, because he knows andrew is a black & white thinker, and he's entering unchartered territory! all his lil lies he uses to duct tape his sanity together are coming apart, and that break is going to be FASCINATING. i doubt it'll be explosive or anything -- andrew's more the "quietly self-destruct climax" type than the "defeat the mafia thru the power of sports climax" type -- but it'll sure be something interesting. and then once it all breaks, we know he'll have neil and kevin and his family and the foxes to help him heal -- and he'll have to believe it when they show they care about him, because he literally doesn't owe anyone anything

#i think thats why all my aus put andrew in his Self Destruct Era #because im just so positive that he well on his way to that at the end of tkm #actually im amending the tags a bit bc i think what i sometimes end up doing w him in aus is a product of the fact that my stories rarely #have extreme external plot elements #like andrew never thinks neil DIES lol #baltimore is so fucking integral to andrews development #he did not have time to do the full self destruct 'oh no can i live without him' era because #he literally got tested on that and he FAILED HAHAHA #so he def knows that he needs neil #the crux of the conflict still is -- can he accept this without hating himself? #because if THATS not addressed then eventually his logic is going to warp #and hes going to do stupid shit #and yeah :) i love when he does stupid shit and then ppl are like #NOPE. unfortuantely you have fucked up severely #and in order to get back what you cant live without #you must board the Self Love Express !!!! #its a journey lil man!!!!! #youre gonna hate it!!!!!!!! youre gonna go on it anyway!!!! #SCRMEEEEAMMMM i love andrew minyard

[suffarustuffaru]

I don’t speak Japanese so I’d LOVE to hear more about the differences between the English and Japanese Re:Zero fandoms

yeah sure its very interesting to me now that ive noticed it more lately :o !! though ok disclaimer - i dont speak japanese either hah so if anyone is seeing this and does speak japanese + is familiar with the japanese speaking side of this fandom please add info if youd like!! and of course ill be mainly speaking from the english side of things bc im more familiar with that yes (sorry anon again im not a japanese speaker T^TT so sorry if i tread on info you already know!!). but yeah im speaking from my own experiences given the Topic at hand. ive been in this fandom since... 2019?? which is so wild to me aljsdfljsd.

anyway so - i think the big difference is mainly that the english fandom and many english speaking people that engage with rezero are. to put it bluntly, misconception runs Rampant to a very Interesting degree. to the point where it seems like the english speaking side of the fandom is More. Aggressive. than the japanese fandom. not that the japanese speaking side of the fandom is perfect - also bc what fandom is ever perfect 100% of the time, tbh - but that the louder people in the english rezero fandom are. well its a Very low bar. Very low. and from what little ive seen and heard so far, the japanese fandom tends to understand rezero and its characters better than the english fandom. which ig makes sense bc you know, rezero is japanese media, and also im sure cultural differences come into play here as well (im not familiar enough on this to speak about it in depth but the cultural differences feel Pretty Clear even though i cant 100% put my finger on what they specifically are).

but also bc yeah. its not That hard to beat some of the english fandom when it comes to media comprehension. misreading rezero is unfortunately Extremely common, both in and out of the rezero community. its Everywhere - youtube, myanimelist, ao3, ff.net, reddit, twitter, various rezero discords - and from what ive experienced, rezero tumblr basically kind of feels like finding an oasis after crawling through the desert for days on end lajdslfjs. which is probs bc rezero tumblr is Smaller and also a lot of us seem to be lgbtq+ in some way or be allies, so you dodge a lot of the misogyny and homophobia that happens in other rezero english circles. its why you see a lot of openly queer rezero-related posts on here while its a bit more. barren. in other rezero english places yes. bc its more safe to post queer rezero things on rezero tumblr rather than rezero reddit for Sure.

im not sure how the japanese fandom is with that exactly but theres some interesting differences between whats popular in the english fandom vs the japanese fandom. i mean as an otto fan ive been noticing how hes more popular with the japanese fandom—and on top of that, ottosuba is Way More popular in the japanese fandom too. reinsuba and julisuba seem to usually be the most popular mlm subaru ships in both fandoms but ottosuba is like A Little Up There in the japanese fandom. not sure if its on the same level as a ship like reinsuba but ottosubas Definitely loved as a ship. from what little ive seen it also seems like ships like vichisha are more acknowledged by the japanese fandom? im not entirely sure on like—Complete differences regarding what the japanese fandom finds interesting that may differ from english fandom, so ill really have to look more into the japanese fandoms fanart and fanfic when i can bc im pretty curious too. in general though, it seems like the japanese fandom has a bit more variety…. you can find fanart on So Many characters in rezero (which already has a very Massive cast full of very fleshed out characters) there. not that you cant in the english fandom bc theres a Bit of variety too, but id more so contribute that a little more to the Big Cast and less to having actual variety in fancontent. and of course im not saying that the japanese fandom may be a bit barren in some areas of fancontent—bc inevitably when u have a big cast of characters, side character content is gonna be more sparse compared to the main characters, but to me it does feel like the english fandom lacks variety in comparison. (and also yeah. seems like the japanese fandom acknowledges gay ships more in general tbh.)

whats focused in fancontent makes it easy to tell what may be popular in a fandom in terms of how fans perceive the source material and what fandoms want to do with the source material, if that makes sense. and its very easy to tell that with the english fandom if you just hop on rezero ao3–or even better, rezero reddit given theres a fanfic ideas thread thats usually pinned right at the top of the site. again i havent looked at japanese fanfic for rezero yet (bc i dont know where to look oops ajdndn) but when it comes to the english fandom you can tell that theyre generally more focused on the female cast both in fanart and in fanfic bc. theyre women and many fans on say, reddit or various rezero discords, are cis straight men, so inevitably… well lets just say you can tell when a man makes content for this fandom o.o theres also the. very weird reaction fic trends and trends following popular fics in the fandom, the two biggest being the watching him die again and again react fic and re:forgotten, the former of which includes a harem plot with subaru and the main girls of rezero while the latter is one of those subaru gets tortured by his ooc friends and then he gets revenge on them fics. which i suppose says something about the english fandom too.

of course on ao3 its dominated mainly by english fics (of course not all fics on there for rezero are in english— big shoutout to all the non english fics on rezero ao3 ur doing great <3 — but the majority are in english). and while yeah ur occasionally gonna find stuff like queer content or side character content or rarepair content, its definitely not that big in amount and also comes with the risk of. Hate. if anyones reading this and remembers the lone star stuff. (if u dont know—lone star was a julius x emilia fic where they NTR subaru or some shit and then it got bombed with hate bc of the ship? yeah.) so yeah english fandom is very cis straight oriented, ironically with the nastiest people being the very people that rezero criticizes. though this is also my personal experience, i do know several people personally whove been in this fandom for a while or were here for a while and yeah english fandom isnt very welcoming at times???? and it seems like at the very least the japanese fandom is A Little Less Aggressive than the english fandom is.

otherwise. yeah im very very curious about more of the differences in popular content between the japanese vs english fandom. i mean the english fandom’s main focus on the female cast for. Interesting Reasons other than their actual character depth is… interesting. and the astreas being popular in general vs otto + ottosubas popularity fluctuating is also very interesting to me (but i have several guesses as to Why that is), among other things. yeah id love to know what else the japanese fandom likes about rezero and see more of their content. i also have to wonder if characters like emilia and subaru are hated less by the japanese fandom…. T^T well that and the english fandom and many english speaking people engaging in rezero have this interesting pattern of either hating subaru No Matter What, wanting subaru to Not Be Subaru (ie using him as a self insert almost or attempting to change him into virtually another character), or putting subaru on a pedestal and ignoring his flaws and mistakes and that he Can do wrong. like theres Really not a lot of nuance there. so i wonder if the japanese fandom is. A Little more chill when it comes to character opinions like this too.

#rezero #tldr: english fandom sets the bar so low (unless ur on rz tumblr) that the japanese fandom def seems a bit better by comparison #in terms of. Calmness levels. #every time i step into a rezero space that isnt tumblr i get a little worried my heads gonna get bitten off by someone HAH #recently someone tried arguing with me over how i interpret otto (this was on reddit) and then said stuff that showed they did Not #understand his character that well so that was awkward 😭😭😭 #even just by looking at otto fanart from the japanese fandom it seems like more people understand his character there. in the english fandom #he is. either Not There or his flaws are just handwaved away or replaced with Different flaws #atm hes the most obvious example i can think of when it comes to. how differently characters can be percieved by different parts of a fandom #for rezero. like hes near invisible here but ottosuba being almost on the same level as REINSUBA in jp fanbase is crazy to me #kinda reminds me of the disney’s duffy and friends line and how it failed in the us but its SUPER popular in asia. really fascinating #and also yeah some of the english fandom seems. more loudly misogynistic and homophobic which is very unfortunate #also im sorry ill never forgive that random person on reddit i just said one (1) thing on otto and they came for my throat like fr 😭😭😭 #ask #i do wonder why reinsuba is so popular but thats probs bc reinhards well loved too and also hes op. which is a bonus for the english fandom #bc theyre into all the power scaling stuff. and also reinhard gets the other bonus of being a guy and he isnt shafted by canon. hes treated #very sympathetically which is another bonus akdnsn #i say this as a reinhard fan btw but as an emilia fan im also crying bc theyre SO SIMILAR and yet why do people hate emilia…. #but u know. reins a guy and we havent got his pov yet so there isnt much to hate.

[artiemartietartie]

it’s very interesting how nearly all ekurei haters are just dimple haters. they just hate dimple and hate the idea of him being loved for some reason 😭 sorry if that’s a wild conclusion but from what i’ve seen that’s the shit i’ve gathered

i know at this point im just screaming at a wall but dear lord can people just sit down for at least 5 minutes and think about how dimple has grown as a person since season 1 and how his looks shouldn’t destroy all that development and personality he has?

If you can’t understand the complexity of his character I am absolutely BEGGING to the moon and back please censor dimple’s name it’s very. disheartening trying to look for dimple content and come face-to-face with people hating on him and belittling people who like him

anyways dear dimple and ekurei truthers reading this i totally believe that dimple is so much more than what most people take him for and that he’s just as much of a person like anyone else in the show and he totally deserves to be loved. he’s worthy of it and me personally I think both dimple and reigen are so inexperienced when it comes to love and don’t like themselves too much but slowly and surely they learn how to love themselves together. like the love the other.. if they’re loved by someone so amazing, then maybe they deserve it..? GRAGRGAGRBHF I WANT THEM TO LEARN HOW TO LOVE THEMSELVES EVEN WHEN THEYRE NOT WITH THE OTHER‼️ ITS ABOUT HELPING EACH OTHER GROW AS PEOPLE AND HAVING THE GREATEST AMOUNT OF RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER‼️‼️‼️‼️ GRAFBRBSHHRHFJF I LOVE THINKING ABOUT REIGEN AND DIMPLE SLOWLY TAKING THEIR TIME TO OPEN UP MORE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND THINGS LIKE PHYSICAL AFFECTION AND SAYING “ILY” ARE DONE IN THE SAFETY OF THEIR OWN PRIVACY BECAUSE THEY TRUST AND LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

#yes this is bc of the poll #yes im mad about it #yes im just thinking about ekurei more to spite them #im gonna say it ekurei haters are so annoying #they have the same excuse for why they dislike the ship it’s getting old #they always. ALWAYS. FUCKING ALWAYS SAY WITHOUT FAIL #‘he’s a fart😭’ #k thanks for letting me know i cant trust any judgements you have #what happened to ‘looks aren’t everything’ #so bc he looks ‘ugly’ he cant be loved?? is that what ur telling me???? #stupid ass take #im not Even sorry for it #the poll itself is rlly stupid tbh #just hating on random ass ships #anyways dimple likers and ekurei truthers follow me please 💙 #mob psycho #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #mp100 dimple #mp100 ekubo #ekurei

[astranauticus]

really not beating the brainrot allegations but genuinely this line has been haunting my brain for ages

#rolling with difficulty #vrla rwd #mrsn rwd #well not technically but close enough #asto stop drawing the same two goddamn characters challenge (difficulty: impossible) #technically the original line was 'i see mr-sn' but this way .. works better? flows better? its 4am words are failing me #also took some artistic liberties with the hypnagoug design bc i think austin's intention was that only its face changes #to match your nightmares #but everyone started describing stuff thats much more elaborate and he didnt stop them so #specifically he says the clawed arms and 'a large gaping mouth' stay constant but i am just gonna Choose Not To See that part #look theres no way for me to fit that into the design and make it work. its just not happening #i mean thank god for mr-sn's cape or else id have to figure out the logistics of attaching bony clawed arm to robot torso #(also why i strategically placed the rips on the cape so you cant see the arm underneath LMAO) #yeah after a certain point i was just like. ok how can i make the mr-sn hypnogoug as nasty and unpleasant to look at as possible #so please let me know if this made you upset/lh bc im the one who drew it and *i* was very upset when drawing this #in hindsight hypnagoug mr-sn has lowkey nightmare animatronic from fnaf energy and i've been fully over my fnaf phase for like 6 years so #not sure how to feel about that #art I made

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan #i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch #shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else #even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress #but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside #academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project #i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send #myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it #but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or #maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something #just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there #it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so #tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing #ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position #and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle #sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux #i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices #even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany. #and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it #unrelated

[pupcuck]

have been ill since i was a kid it is not going to get better or pass likeeee sick of people telling me otherwise

#🏩.diary #I’ve always been this way #like there is no fixing it it’s not even like #idk my mental illness isn’t even something i can use as an excuse it’s just me now like idk #my friends are insufferable they don’t get it that #it’s not the fucking same like im so upset why do they always make things ab themselves #im the one that has no other friends no job no love life im failing uni with no social life like no you don’t get it #and they’re always like oh i wish I wasn’t known on campus like you talking to people is so draining I hate it #I hate it so bad i need to kill myself #I’ve been suicidal since I was 11 like that’s it’s not gonna change #and then they wonder why I don’t wanna talk like sorry im too suicidal to hear ab you having multiple jobs and boyfriends and driving sorry #like im too bitter #why don’t you just do this I CANT!!! im ugly and repulsive and can’t go outside #I’ve been made fun of for my weight and face by family n school friends like why would k want to go outside when it’s not even. me that #thinks I’m repulsive but everyone around me too #my parents don’t ever call me pretty unless I have makeup on they’re repulsed by me I know they love me bc they have to love me but im such #a loser there’s nothing to be Proud of #I don’t know what to do at all it’s like I’ve fucked it over so badly I can’t fix a single thing #it’s like I have everything wrong w me and it’s humiliating #tw vent #sorry im worked up godddd #I hate when people talk me like it’s my first time feeling this way and that it’s easy to get over #just try getting ur license or doing this I psychically cannot bc I’m crippled by anxiety and facial and body dysmoprhia like fuck off #whatever whatever im too pussy to kill myself so I’ll just live in this fucking cycle forever and ever like bc im literally a fucking . #pussy what’s wrong w me #in other news my sisters separation anxiety is back and she won’t let go of me I can’t go to the bathroom without her coming she’s sleeping #in my bed again #she’s so clingy I love her but I can’t do anything

[hella1975]

what does it mean to average 2:1 or 2:2? I don’t think we do that in America

okay so the uni grading system here is done based on percentages. the pass mark is 40%, which americans ALWAYS hit me with 'only 40???? easy!!!' so id like to clarify the content/exams are very difficult and the marking is very mean and generally it's really frustrating when people respond this way, like why tf would we have such a low pass grade otherwise it's a dumb assumption to make but anyway. you do about 6 modules a semester (on average, some courses have more/less), and each module will give you a final grade, and then the average of all your modules from both semesters will give you your final year grade. they're all marked by the same system, which is:

grade of less than 40% = fail

grade of 40%-50% = third class honours (called a third)

grade of 50%-60% = lower second class honours (a 2:2, literally said aloud as 'i got a two-two in my exam')

grade of 60%-70% = upper second class honours (a 2:1, said as 'i got a two-one'). this is what im PRAYING for.

grade of 70%+ = first class honours (just called a first). this is the highest you can get, so even if you get 90% you'll have the same grade as someone who got 72%. this is also what i mean by the exam system being really tough here, bc most people are just grateful to get a first.

#so last year i got averages of just over 60 in a lot of my modules but also some that i BARELY scraped a pass #bc id resat them and when you resit an exam (bc you failed the first time. lol. lmao) then even if you get 100% on the resit #they will cap you at 40%. so naturally it shafts your average #but i STILL SOMEHOW MANAGED TO AVERAGE WITH A 2:1 LAST YEAR WHICH IS WHY IN THAT POST I MADE BACK THEN I WAS FREAKINGGG OUT #bc that's genuinely such a good grade like that's an UPPER SECOND CLASS HONOURS and i never considered i could do that #bc of how much this degree has pumelled me into the mud. so yeah now that i know it's actually potentially feasible #im really really hoping to keep it up and end with a 2:1 #bc traditionally (and im not saying this is a correct way to think. you're not gonna see me of all people yapping about good grades #have you SEEN the state of my academics) a first or a 2:1 are considered the best outcomes with a degree #while a 2:2 is shrug not bad not great and anything lower is considered 'embarrassing' #and i literally MADE PEACE with the fact id be getting a piss poor grade out of econ so to find out all my hard work and struggling #MIGHT ACTUALLY PAY OFF ON PAPER??? WHEN IT LITERALLY NEVER HAS BEFORE???? POPPING MY PUSSY #ask #hella goes to uni

[bunnihearted]

🧸🧃⛈️

#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset #bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard #nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc #nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time #in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders.... #it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me #(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them) #the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply #also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T #i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!! #my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol #i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot #why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days #many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk #but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie #yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it #hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours #then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do

[3amsnek]

new icon time bc the moment we hit double digits on the halloween countdown my brain genuinely straight up forgot it was still summer

#*changes my icon and immediately forgets so I get jumpscared every time I use hold to rb on mobile* #oh yeah and here’s this funky guy. haven’t posted him before #he exists bc my hand shook in the wrong direction when messing around with a completely different Weird Cat concept and I went o shit that’s #better actually #my art? #my oc art #character art #original character #oc art #furry #character design #ignore that this draft is almost three weeks old just don’t even worry abt it #life is. hahahaahaha. so much rn my summer has been Dog and Constant Stress and art is just. not able to be a priority rn #so ofc I have many ideas :’) someday im gonna be able to do things just bc i feel like it for more than five minutes again. someday #i do have like 4? i think? finished pcs of Bear Art from the past few months that i might post for fbw let me know if you want that perhaps #but that’s not for another month or two I think? i should know that im sorry brooks falls bearcam i have failed :( #there’s some stuff in the drafts i forgot I didn’t post too actually #maybe I’ll get around to that with my. very minimal free time the next couple of days (<- probably won’t) #on that note #if you commissioned something from me and I haven’t posted it pls don’t be sad i am simply attempting to survive the summer #my brain is not good in hot weather under the best of circumstances and this has not been those #I Do plan to post them they just take more brain than like. this quick silly doodle for myself to draft out #i know ppl probably are not worried i am simply. afraid. #anyways. look a creature

[southern--downpour]

pros of new hyperfixation: dopamine :) 

cons of new hyperfixation: i cannot focus on school work all i want to do is read trigun nothing else is interesting rn

#i have so much classwork i need to do but all my brain can do is go 'hehehehehe vash :)' and i cant do Shit abt it #I HAVE *THINGS* TO DO #last time i fixated this bad was dsmp and i literally failed a math class bc of that #and like. logically i know i should be doing stuff. i know this is probably gonna make me crash and fail. however. #entire rest of my brain is in fact still going 'hehehehehe vash :)' and i Cannot Do Anything About This Other Than Read More Trimax #shut up virgil #anyways. hehehehehhehehehheheheh vash :))))) #i started reading trimax ofc and i am fucking in love w/ the black/blonde hair he looks so cute dude #i really liked seeing nightows artsyle improve so far too #love the early art still ofc but its a little inconsistent in quality? + the text placement was SUPER confusing at times #like. it was just hard to figure out who was talking #that was like the main problem ive had reading it so far #but like thats been gettin progressively better and the art has gotten INSANE and im barely into maximum #also. that one page. where wolfwood tells vash to shoot him. yk the one. #that is all. #trigun :)))))) #actually no that is not all that entire interaction has been rotating in my brain nonstop #holy shit its such a good scene #i really love wolfwood man #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this series is going to fucking kill me #/pos #this motherfucking hyperfix is here to stay apparently esp w/ stampede and the influx of new fans #like if this happened when i first watched og trigun i wouldve just been digging through old content and fan content #and probably wouldve drained it of dopamine pretty quick #but theres NEW content? that i can watch while its AIRING??? im not going to shut the fuck up!

[loverboybreakdowns]

& now im crying. great.

#came home she got out pork chops says i have to cook & eat them bc i need protein #dont want hot food rn & even if i did i dont have the energy to cook dont even have the energy to get a glass of water #but like i was handling it was gonna lay down a while then make pork chops feed them to the cat if i couldnt make myself eat & thats fine. #but then she said i was being a little shit bc of like i guess my tone of voice ir something? #idk man im tired & im frustrated & im in pain & im trying so hard to be polite & say the right things #but like. no matter how hard i try i cant get it right my voice always comes off wrong #& it always has & it will continue to the rest of my life #i try SO HARD she knows i struggle with tone & i still cant get it right & shes mad at me for it #i cant fucking do this i cant be a person im not GOOD AT IT. #im like failing at humanness and i always have been #& idk its a stupid thing to get so upset over & i know logically im being dramatic #but im just so tired #& i havent eaten since 7 so i probs have low blood sugar or something idk #and i’ve had a headache for 3 days that wont fucking go away #& i just cant make myself be rational rn #rambling

[spacedlexi]

me collecting every vague line about minnie to piece together what kind of person she really was pre-delta

#when marlons about to kill clem and he tries to sway vi by asking her what minnie would do #1) so fucked of him #but 2) what WOULD she want her to do in that situation?? shoot clem??? #like did pre delta minnie already have some questionable ideas about the best way to keep the peace? #like she Does end up killing her sister and tries to get the rest of them kidnapped bc she sees submitting to the delta as the safer option #i know shes Fucked Up post delta but like howd we get here... whats the root of this. to be willing to murder your twin sister... #so like what is he insinuating here?? and it almost makes vi step down?? #and clems the one who has to fully convince her to save her #vi convinced by clem to stand up for what she believes is right :) and to not just stand down and let shit happen #vi feeling like she failed the twins by not asking questions about what happened to them and is not gonna let it happen to clem and aj #leading to vi taking on a leadership role bc SOMEONE has to be a voice of reason around here #minnies reaction to hearing violets in charge is SO telling. she doesnt believe it and shes BITING about it too #the tension the resentment the insult the quick turn from 'im so glad youre alive' to 'fuck you too' was their relationship always likethis #violet doesnt even fight back just hunches into herself and takes it #what does it mean what does it all mean #this is why i go silly mode when i think about minnie and esp her relationship w violet like there are so many pieces to this puzzle #minnie killed the version of herself ericsons recognized when she killed sophie and there was no coming back from that #but how much of what we see in minnie post delta was always in there somewhere? to keep them safe by any means necessary? #or keep herself safe? like marlon. who DID want to keep them all safe but feared for his own safety above all else? protection his excuse #'if you just do what they say you can live.be rewarded. just like i am' those are the words of a girl who killed her sister to save herself #and like when its Too Late for her she wants to take tenn down with her too so like....theres a lot of selfishness in her actions #the fact you dont hear that line in the louis route is craaazy to me its says SO MUCH ABOUT HER CHARACTER #i need to stop thinking so hard about this but i Cant every time i think about minnie i go down this rabbit hole #twdg #it speaks #im supposed to be working on hw...........

[trashbaget]

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with #but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this #i can’t just. talk to the guy #if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that #i can barely even say hello to him #don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like #ah fuck there he is #okay you can do it just say hi #just say what’s up #and then he’s already gone #also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin #ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍 #but like. ​i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction #or like. an actual conversation. #which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or #i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what) #anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴 #i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at #least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.) #anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault #too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair #but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side #where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20 #mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡 #but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number #who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21 #his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦 #cheers to being fools universe

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

i havent felt pressured to shave part of my body in like. 6 years idk what the fuck it is about prom thats making me feel like this but goddamn do i hate it

#i love my dress i love my hair and i love the way my body looks #i love my body hair but i just. i feel like its acceptable at school when im dressed more casually but people are gonna judge when im there #In A Dress like. like theyre gonna think im *trying* to be a girl and ny pit hair is gonna be proof to them that im failing #and like. obviously thats total bullshit for sooo many reasons and its not like i want to be percoved as a girl anyways #like im wearing this dress in a gnc almost drag type of way #and obviously body hair does not make someone more or less feminine #but i just. i feel like im gonna be judged and i dont know why i care so much in this circumstance because i literally have never once cared #about any one of my classmates opinions on me but yeah #it fucking sucks i feel like im back in middle school freaking out over forgetting to shave bc i have gym class in the morning #and hating my arms bc of hiw hairy they are #but like my body hair is one of my biggest sources of gender euphoria now!!! i hate feeling like i should want it gone i hate feeling like i #should shave to make other ppl comfortable #fuck