#but theres NEW content? that i can watch while its AIRING??? im not going to shut the fuck up!

[thekaijudude]

Blazar isn't over yet but I feel that the plot here is one of the worst. Even Trigger had a more consistent plot

Agreed tbh

Tho the actual issue with Blazar that I have (and I can sense that we're on the same page here) is that this is basically following the early Heisei formula, which are episodic seasons where theres not much focus on an overall plot.

Personally, while I did grow up with the Showa and Heisei series, I always wanted the series to focus on the Ultra itself, in terms of treating it as an actual character with dialogue, actively contributing to plot development etc, rather than being basically a plot device. Which is why I prefer the New Gen series (And im literally just rewatching them while Blazar is airing cause its boring af)

So its not really the issue of Blazar having a bad overall plot, its just that the focus of the series from the get-go was it to be a episodic season. And I wouldnt really say that the plot is bad, but just too basic. Even Taguchi outright said this that Blazar has a simple plot.

But to us that are focused on continuity of how one episode leads to the next, yeah Blazar is really bad. Like compared with the other seasons where each week im actively looking forward to watching the next episode to see how the plot develops after new revelations have been made in the previous episodes, I literally actively procrastinate from watching Blazar episodes cause I know nothing substantial is gonna happen anyways.

Tho on the other hand, the second thing I look for in a series are the quality of the fight scenes. Which was definitely a disappointment because I honestly expected to see an improvement from Z. And while it too had a pretty simple plot, Z's fight scenes then was essentially the peak of the franchise. But Blazar fell short in this department. But then again, this could all be part of Taguchi's plan to make Blazar a more "realistic" series.

I dont vibe with that decision either based on what it turned out but hey, at least its finally ending lol

Of course not to say that its totally bad tho, because we do have highlights like Niji, Brood Gevalka, introduction of M421 (however little) etc

But overall, I'd give Blazar a 4/10. Completely unmotivated and uninterested to watch most of the episodes, might put it at 3/10 which would make it the same tier as RB which I actively hated how the plot turned out but I dont think Blazar, as boring as it is, is THAT bad (so maybe 3.5? Stay tuned for the final review after the last episode). But at least they did remove cringe content (only cringe I rmb might be the washing machine scene?) so at least thats an improvement?

Movie dosent seem interesting either since there's neither new forms nor crossover

All we can do is hope that Arc would return to the usual New Gen formula

#ultraman #ultraman blazar #asks

[foryouthegays]

hallo have a full enbyctechno timeline w/ some other stuff. taggin @cryptoidfuxer​ bc pog seems to like ect juuususttt a bit /s

also im sorry abt the weird capitalization i just do not care enough. also also it becomes kinda fic-y at the end instead of a full timeline but i do not care

and before anyone gets mad at me for this....the entire au is called enbyctechno because it is a nonbinary character technoblade au. i am in no way saying that the actual person (or canon character) are nonbinary, im just doin some good ol projection onto a comfort character

ill be usin xself pronouns for techno most of the time

ok so first, some things about language.

in standard piglish, there is no ‘he’ or ‘she’ pronoun, theres four pronouns: respectful singular they, standard singular they, plural they, and it. RST is mostly used for piglin brutes and other fighters, but anyone who’s undergone any hardship or has some power over the speaker can be called it. SST is for younger people and pretty much everyone else, PT is for multiple piglins, and it is for objects and theoretical concepts (ex, ‘i wish a hero would come and save us from these hoglins, im sure it could take its out easily!’ (and hoglins/other animals are referred to as it as well) (and when i say it, i mean in that language, ‘it’ doesnt directly sound like ‘it’)

‘overworld common’ is the most common language spoken by people, mobs, and villagers in the overworld. it’s a mix between english and galactic, but most of the english structure stays, including ‘he’ and ‘she’ pronouns. the writing is completely galactic. neopronouns are a bit more common in overworld common. not as common as singular they is in our english, but common enough so that most people have at least HEARD of them

so! techno is a piglin (not piglin brute) who lived in the nether until x was eight (human) years old (which is...about 10 in piglin years). when x was eight, xs parents were killed, and x was banished from the colony because x had challenged the brutes, as they hadn’t protected xs parents. x wandered until x found a nether portal.

x went through it and found xself in the coldest place x had ever been. it was freezing, and things were falling through the air, almost like a Basalt Delta. techno shivered, not used to the temperature, and started walking away from the portal.

techno walked, and walked, and walked, and eventually found a town. no one was outside, and x could see smoke billowing from the homes, probably to heat the home to a reasonable temperature. techno kept walking, and found a small barn. it was fully covered, and the creatures inside would keep x warm, so x decided to stay there until x could find a way to communicate with the people.

days came and went, and x slowly began to understand the overworld language. they greeted with a ‘hello,’ their food was called ‘bread,’ and they yelled ‘GET OUT’ whenever they saw techno in their yards. x started to recognize the villagers, including a kingly person who walked around with baskets and baskets of food, distributing it to the poorer people. techno was intrigued by this generosity. why would someone willingly give up their food, x thought? food is power, why give it up?

and so, x started getting in line for the persons food. at first, the person was hesitant, quickly throwing the food at x before moving away, but they started to warm up to techno, and eventually asked...someting.

---

“where do you live?”

phil stared at the little piglin. it had been asking him for food for a while, almost a month, and phil was getting concerned. he was sure that piglins shouldn’t eat bread, they had to be carnivorous or something, but it seemed happy with the small amounts of food phil was giving it.

the piglin was small, only coming up to around phils waist, and the clothes it was wearing were not suitable for the freezing antarctic storms he could feel forming. phil looked around, and finally decided to take the piglin home.

---

techno watched as the person, who had pointed to itself and said ‘phil,’ started to walk away from x. ‘phil’ turned around a few steps down the road and waved their hand wildly. techno slowly walked toward them, and phil bared their teeth. techno returned the threat, and the persons eyes widened in slight fear. techno nodded, satisfied, and followed ‘phil’ to their house.

it was warm inside. not as warm as the nether, of course, but warm enough that techno was able to start feeling xs hooves again, and the breath that came out of xs snout didnt cloud in front of x.

‘phil’ pointed to themself again and said the same word, ‘phil.’ they then pointed to techno, who responded with a soft snort, tech, a deeper grunt, no, and sharp intake of breath, blade.

seeing phils blank stare, techno pointed at their sword, and did the same intake of air.

‘sword?’

the same deeper grunt. no. x paused, and tried to remember the villagers body language. they...shook their head for no, right? techno tried it, and phil smiled

‘blade?’

x did the other head movement, a nod, and phil smiled again. techno could go by blade until x figured out how to speak in those strange words

techno slept as close to the fire as x could get, finally feeling close to home and safe again.

techno woke up to phil saying ‘hello.’ so it was a greeting, techno figured, and x responded with a soft headbutt to phils elbow. phil tenses, and techno steps back. was that not a thing in this world? x tries to imitate phils ‘hello,’ and gets...somewhat close. nowhere near the word, but phil could tell x was trying.

over the weeks, techno got closer and closer to sounding like overworld common. x couldn’t have full conversations, but techno was able to ask for basic things, like food, water, warmth, and, strangely, potatoes. there was a lot for techno to learn, but for now, x was content tending to phils farm, brushing the horse, and slowly learning the written language of Galactic. in time, x would be one of the most feared fighters, rule the world, and have wars over pronouns, but for now, x could rest, away from the nether and in a new home

#enbyctechno #it cuts off quick bc im tired a;lkdjfa #might do some more tommorow :) #no i didnt read it over im sorry alksdjf

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 8

A/N- Im sorry if this is bad! 😂

*Contains Defending Jacob spoilers*

When i finally got home later that day i ordered a pizza and decided to take a quick shower while i waited, knowing they usually take a good 45 minutes this time of night. Walking out of the bathroom 10 minutes later wrapped in a fluffy purple towel i passed the window in the hallway and spotted Andy sitting outside in his car. I walked to the bedroom and picked up my phone from the bedside cabinet and hit his number.

As it rang i walked over to the window and watched him staring at the phone in his hand for a few moments before answering.

"Hey" he finally answered.

"Hey, everything okay?"

"Yeah of course! Why wouldnt it be?"

"Well the fact your sitting outside my house....."

"Shit, sorry! I wasn't being weird i swear! Its just.....i should just go" he sighed shaking his head.

"You wanna come in for a minute?"

"I dont wanna interupt...."

"Your not its fine, let me just come down real quick and open the door....wait for me in the kitchen" i told him making my way downstairs.

"....okay" he finally agreed, I ended the call and quickly unlocked the door pulling it open just a crack before running back upstairs to get dressed.  I tossed my phone on the bed and grabbed my sleep shorts and an oversized t-shirt. After towel drying my hair real quick i tied it up out the way and made my way down to see Andy.

When i walked into the kitchen Andy looked up and smiled at me, he was sat at my small kitchen table, his coat and suit jacket discarded on the empty chair beside him.

"Im sorry to just show up like this Y/N" he said shaking his head.

"Its fine don't worry about it"

"I don't even know how i ended up here....."

"Another shitty day?"

"Yeah" he scoffed "the kids aint talking, none of them knew anything. Most of them where more interested in the fact that i was Jacob Barbers dad"

"So no leads?"

"No. But Duffy found out there's a guy who lives near the park, Leonard Patz. Done for Indecent AB on a minor"

"Why didnt you know about him before?"

"Duff said he only moved to Newton in the last year. Never registered. One of the ADA's in the child abuse unit flagged him"

"What exactly did Patz do to this kid?"

"Grabbed the kids package at the public library, got out on a personal"

"He groped a kid and got out on a personal?" I asked wide eyed at the idea of this man walking free around town.

"Apparently there was some question about the kids testimony. Duffy also said we gotta keep in mind the Rifkin kid had no signs of sexual assault"

"But its something for you to look into, right? If your getting nowhere with the kids at school it makes sense that Patz is the next point of call"

"I just, i have to be careful how i play this one.... i told Duffy i needed to sleep on it. My heads all over the place"

"You want a coffee? Or i have beer?"

"I'll take a beer please" he gave me a tired smile.

I grabbed a couple beers and we went to sit in the living room, he sat on the sofa and let his head fall back with a contented sigh as he closed his eyes.

"Thank you for this Y/N, i always feel like i can relax with you. Everyones always expecting things from me you know? But you.... you just let me be myself"

"And your not yourself at home?"

"Not at all, not for a long time anyway" he replied lifting his head to take a mouthful of his beer "Laurie and I were talking about divorce before all this happened"

"Oh...." i was genuinely surprised to hear that and didn't know how to react to this new information!

"Im okay about it though, is that bad?"

"No, people get divorced all the time Andy"

"I know. Its kinda scary though, i've been with Laurie since college.... i think we got too comfortable.... we lost that spark"

"And theres no getting it back?"

"Im pretty sure that boat has sailed" he chuckled to himself "i will aways love her don't get me wrong im just...."

"Not IN love with her?"

"Yeah" he nodded looking a little sad that his marriage hadn't worked out "You ever been in love?" Andy asked cocking his head to the side and watching me closely.

"Me?.... um, yeah once" i nodded as i picked at the label on my beer bottle "college boyfriend, he was everything to me.... kinda sad looking back at it"

"What happened?"

"I caught him in bed with my best friend"

"Shit"

"Yeah, i cut all contact with the both of them after that. You wanna know the kicker? ...their still together with their second kid on the way"

"Im sorry to hear that"

"It happens" i shrugged "i haven't been in a relationship since. Guess i have some trust issues"

"And you and Frank?...."

"Me and Frank, right" i shook my head getting up from the sofa "i need another beer before talking about Frank, you want another?"

"Sure".

I sat on the opposite end of the sofa facing Andy when i returned with fresh beers.

"So whats the deal with Frank?" He asked but averted his eyes while he mentioned the other man in my life.

"We spent some time together" i shrugged feeling like an idiot for thinking i could do the whole casual/non exclusive thing.

"And your not anymore?"

"At the moment i don't think so"

"What happened if you don't mind me asking?"

"I was supposed to be meeting his friends yesterday but i told him i had to reschedule. With everything going on i wasn't feeling it you know? This morning when i was getting coffee i saw him with some blonde....we want different things i guess. I mean you warned me what Frank was like right?.... i thought i could do the casual thing.... turns out i'm not a fan so much"

"The guys an idiot.....Im sorry" Andy said keeping his eyes down on his beer bottle casually raising his eyebrows.

"No your not" i laughed shaking my head at him, it was written all over his face that he was pleased to hear this news.

"Your right i'm not" he finally looked up at me "your too good for him".

"Andy..."

"Im serious. You're something else....." he took a deep breath putting his now empty beer bottle on the table then turned to face me "i have to tell you something.... its been eating away at me for a while now"

"What is it?" I asked him putting my beer down and giving him my full attention.

"I remember what happened in Vermont.... the things i said... the kiss"

I was not expecting that!

"Oh...."

"Im sorry, i just didn't want things to get weird between us. I didn't want to loose you"

"Andy.... i..."

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about that kiss in the elevator Y/N. I cant stop thinking about how much i still wanna kiss you every damn time i see you!"

"We can't...."

"We can! Its okay to want this" he reached across and took my hand rubbing circles on the back of my hand "tell me you don't want it too and i'll leave right now and we can forget this happened".

I sat there staring at him shaking my head "i cant tell you that...".

Before i knew it Andy was pulling me into his lap and kissing me breathless. His hands slipping under my t-shirt caressing my back. My heart was racing as we finally parted for air, i placed my hands on either side of his face, my thumbs stroking his cheeks that were flushed as we tried to catch our breath.

The moment was interrupted by knocking at the door.

"Leave it" he mumbled leaning forward and kissing me again. I pushed him back and laughed before climbing off his lap "thats my takeout! Im not just gonna leave it, i'll be back in two seconds".

I grabbed my purse from the table and headed to the front, i opened the door with a smile.... a smile that fell when i saw Frank standing there instead of the delivery man!

"Frank....."

"Hey sweetheart".

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13 @matsumama @ex-bloodjunkie @kaithezaftig @rainbowkisses31

#sebastian stan #chris evans #reader insert #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #steve rogers #bucky barnes x reader #steve x reader #eb!frank x reader #andy barber x reader #andy barber #endings beginnings #defending jacob #rose coloured glasses

[ccsthemovie2]

YUE!!!! yue yue yue

LETS SEE IF I CAN TRANSFER MY DRAFT TO ASK ON MOBILE W/O MESSING UP FORMATTING HORRIFICALLY WOOOOOO

YUEEEEE AN ASK AFTER MY OWN HEART <33 this is, again, super long AND YET NOT THE FULL EXTENT OF MY YUE THOUGHTS, PROBABLY??? this is a fave from a decade back or so this runs DEEP. Why I like them:

yue has just been a lifelong fave tbh. a beautiful and serious anime boy???? AND he’s the moon????? superficials aside, i am always really drawn to characters who struggle with being overly loyal to a sense of authority and deal with figuring out they’re allowed to have individual wants and needs. yue is incredibly ride or die and nearly everyone’s like....maybe don’t die actually!!! and yue says [there was a manga cap here of touya asking yue to take care of himself and yue going >:///.....alright]

it is also really funny how he immediately goes from I WILL KILL YOU to extremely protective i-am-your-angel-dad, both to watch, and to see new friends get into ccs and hear the hype about yue and go oh i cant wait to see your favori-AAAHHH HE PUNCHED TWO TEN YEAR OLDS WHATTT.

Why I don’t:

gotta say it, his clear card hit-fakeout was kinda weird, good thing i have rewritten that scene and can just refer to my personal-writing-folder discord server when need be,

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

JUDGEMEEENNNTTTT AND ALSO THE STUCK IN BIG FORMS EP AAAAHHHHH . episodes ive watched a billion times. when i was a kid i liked judgement bc i was like HES SO COOOL AND MEEEAN YESSS DEFEAT SAKURA WITH HER OWN MAGIC GO GO and now im like HE IS CARRYING OUT A USELESS CEREMONY AND FIGHTING A FIGHT HE CANNOT WIN TO MAKE EVERYONE FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE A CHOICE WHEN SAKURA’S BEEN CHOSEN FROM THE START WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. and to top it ALL off sakura telling him she wants to be his friend and him not taking her offered hand? OUCHH... ;w; big forms ep is HILLARIOUS bc its soooooo AWKWARD. the awkwardness of being at someone else’s house... trying to talk to your host when the ONLY topics you have in common are “i know a few things about your dead crush” and “my other self is YOUR crush”. sakura telling him that her dad insists love can last through reincarnation and eriol specifically being like “give up on clow because he’s dead” later, and he’s spying on this whole ep so he must be rolling around laughing right then. the fact that neither of these couples is healthy whatsoever but everyone’s working with what they have to try and lessen the awkward, and oh no its worse now. kero picking up on the clowtime pattern of “i have to do all the work around here” but honestly its just that it’s kero’s house and yue’s awkwardly hovering and sakura really really doesnt wanna make her intimidating guest do stuff. WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE BC ITS SUPER AWKWARD. yue then cleaning the entire kitchen while sakura is cleaning off kero. 10/10 episode.

Favorite season/movie:

sakura card arc!

Favorite line:

when he shows up at sakura’s house and and sakura’s like :0 and hes like get used to it.

Favorite outfit:

the one from that pic i have in my about where he has this light blue hair wrap aaahhhh

OTP:

YUEKITOUYAAAAAAAAAAAA. yukito and touya dating happily and then yue a few years later like OH. I ALSO LOVE HIM. yukito being super supportive and happy of it. yue and touya both feeling like “whats an amazing guy like him doing with someone like me...”. yue going in thinking oh i know what love is and touya raising the bar constantly. its good!!

Brotp:

him and yukito!! two people waking up in their situation scared and upset and stuck together, making the most of it as only they can. i think a lot of them both being like “noooo i want YOU to be happy and comfortable” and trying to do little things for the other when each is taking their turn being active. yue making yukito tea and getting him out of bed when he neeeds to wake up but just feels sluggish, yukito buying little moon decorations for the house he thinks yue would like....aaahhh yukito getting glow in the dark star stickers omg...realizing that there’s no one they’d rather share a life with like that. i think yukito’s the sort of person who doesn’t like to appear uncertain and takes his time being sure before communicating, and theres a sense of pride on yue’s part that he’s the only person, often not even touya, who gets to hear yukito put his thoughts together and be that sort of sounding board. yukito “growing up” in a big “often”-empty house i think leads to him talking to the air a lot, and now that’s yue!!

him and sakura, too!! slowly taking her up on her offer of friendship!! there’s an amazing bit soon after judgement where just her asking frantically if he’s okay??? if he’s SURE he’s okay???? after getting hurt protecting her makes him stop and stare....the switch flipped he is her dad now. i want him to feel like he can talk to her, especially about the Before Times, weigh the things he thinks are too heavy for a child against the things he wants to be heard, maybe see her face and be like oh boy i got it wrong sometimes. and also the knowledge that this is a friendship they chose for themselves!! that they were Predicted to mean different things to each other, but it would be something inappropriate and draining and a cruelty to carry out. this is an unpaved road!! if i keep going on and on i will go on all day but HIM AND KERO!!! HIM AND THE CARDS!!!! HIM AND LI, AND TOMOYO, AND oh just let him be surrounded by friends!!!!

Head Canon:

extremely touchy. like the first thing he did when he showed up for judgement was grab sakura’s face and i think thats just how he is. i think nobody in the clowsehold had any awareness of personal space and yue got so steeped in it that he is just like that now. big on affectionate hair ruffles esp with the kids and putting-an-arm-around-people that he’s barely aware of. it makes yukito a little sad to know that he and yue can never really connect like that but if he hugs himself yue will feel it so it works out!!

Unpopular opinion:

(gets up on stage) clowyue!! (half the crowd boos half the crowd cheers) was HORRIBLE (the cheering/booing crowd halves switch confusedly) essentially i really like to think about the wreckage and then healing from the sort of toxic imbalanced ambiguously requited never-labeled faux-relationship feelings-yoyo i imagine it to have been. but that means i need to acknowledge it happened. unfortunately most people who make ship content do so because they like it, and most people who dont make ship content do so because they dislike it. can you believe it?

A wish:

go to therapy please

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

DO NOT SEPARATE THEM

5 words to best describe them:

ok he looks very polite

My nickname for them:

moonboy...

#ask #why didnt u just publish ur draft? uhm. because.

[genius11rare]

Figured id try this. AH  Chit chat livestream notes / QnA  7-10-20

because i'm weird i like “documenting” videos and (in this case) Live Streams. figured why keep this to myself so here. maybe one day ill just post a google docs link for a viewing copy but idk. So heres what i got for today seeing as the chitchat part will likely be cut off for the “real” video i may as well memorialize it. not perfect and may be kinda nonsensical but its what i could come up with.

Matt has a window…. With a balcony blocking above , pointless window. Red Web (trevors podcast)  “where he gets in over his head on the internet” “think if i just show them the episode of Technical Difficulties where i made garden lights into solar chargers i can get that tax kickback?” , Jacks neighbor with the tesla solar roof , having to train people to know how to install it . Ryan: “what are the odds he cant look outside at any given hour of the day and see atleast one human with a big piece of paper scratching their head” Elon Musk Starlink satellites for internet worldwide, Ryan “not saying that's _clearly_  a supervillain plot but if it was it wouldnt surprise me” , Ubisoft Far Cry teaser… oh its live action movie teaser clip- oh shit that's rendered!!! , teaser pick of a young Vaas with scars…. Ryan “Did he get them in the womb!?!?!?  Wanna know how i got these scars? Born with them don't know…”  “What is your fave type of cake?” Ryan: Chocolate (Lava)… don't put a sprinkle on it OR ILL SLAY YOU Jack: I mean is birthday a type of cake… Funfettis great Jeremy: both are stereotypical , Boston Creme cakes and Rum Cakes. Matt: Yellow cake with fudge frosting. “Pets and significant others are safe , what item do you grab in a house fire” Jack: Animation cel of the Dino DNA scene in Jurrassic Park (think i got it) Ryan: i mean my life looks alot like this corner , if i could burn this shit down to start with a new empty house i might even be happy. (chat Ryan your insurance is listening)  Jeremy: don't have much i really care about , just “well that sucks it burnt up” . Matt: first ever smash trophy i won , only one i still have. Chat answers “Photo albums , Ryans DeadPool Suit” “what games hope to be announced on microsoft stream?” Matt :  Fable 4 (Ryan ”surprised theyd try to bring it back past the press that is peter molyneu” Matt ” well now nothing holding them back , not those trees!”) Jack: not so much games but LockHeart the mini streaming Xbox. (Ryan: all those types of things have failed idk why they think - well they also made mixer and that went tits up so sure why not) Jeremy: microsoft doesnt really blow me away , arent really anything that im like “i HOPE they announce a sequel” Matt: know this isnt the right crowd but Banjo Kazzoie? Just added in smash , Crash Bandicoots got a new game it makes sense nows the time… i mean the time was already before this but fuck it do it anyway. Steffie says we are at almost 10 mil views on Achievement Knievel (9.95 mil)  Ryan “which one was that” (Jack and Jeremy) “that's Im Still In The Air” Ryan “oooohhh… now i know why i blocked it out… thought we titled it like “the greatest stunt ever” or atleast that's what we called it while making it” “rather fight 100 duck sized ChilledChaos (yey my boy chilled!) or 1 ChilledChaos sized duck?” Ryan “feel like the duck cuz atleast it still doesnt have thumbs” - Jeremy “or teeth , what is it gonna do it can bill and flipper you” Matt “i mean a bunch of tiny Chilleds can work together to kill you” Jeremy “right they will figure something out” Ryan “tiny chilled more dangerous he can infiltrate spaces i wouldnt expect to find him” “tv show / movie you could watch again for the first time what would it be?” Jack: Breaking bad and Endgame … but only if its with a crowd who is ALSO seeing it for the first time. Matt : The Office Ryan: Full Metal Alchemist (oh anime time) , everyone talks about Brotherhood but i really liked the original. Matt:  Brotherhoods a bit better but original is still good on its own (paraphrased). Ryan : had that twist at the end of “dafuq did this show just go?” made a movie based off it… skippable though. Jeremy: Futurama , *or erase all my knowledge of Whose Line* “Fave piece of Merch put out?” Jeremy: Geoff tanktop with the tribal skull. Ryan: *puts on classic gray achievement hunter hat* Jack: Extralife Posters if those count , like the Xmen AH one behind Ryan that Jon (Risinger i assume) and Pat (IDFK) made. Matt: Tiki Mugs. Jeremy “do you use those , make pina coladas?” Matt “often! When i get caught in the rain (GDI Matt) “ Chat alot saying FrontBack ,  one said Jacks Varsity Jacket. “Trapped in quarantine with a fictional character , who?” Jack: Macgyver maybe idk (Ryan: How about Dr Manhattan he could just fix it)  yeah like Q from star trek. Matt: GlaDOS but in potato form. Jeremy “theres a lot of anime girls id be ok being stuck with but idk their name” (i love jeremy)  a Matt: you want Lust from Full Metal Alchemist - Jeremy: That sounds great , (Ryan *Nods*) i can picture that i like it or if we keeping the Futurama train then Bender… think wed have A LOT of fun , and he wouldnt get me the virus! Ryan: no he would , hed deliberately try to get you  sick. Jeremy: hed bring people in “what occupation / person where you most surprised to find out was an AH fan?” Jack: Fun story im looking to learn how to Sauder , someone messaged me saying they're a fan if you need help , *hes the guy welding StarShip* Matt: well… anyone smart really… Jack (and Ryan) : the Dr Who Set/Prop designer (Ben) hes done some stuff us (think he snuck in a name plate on a show of Jack and Ryan name or something , saw a tweet about that before) Ryan: not really any that's surprising… there was the time Macauly Culkin wore our shirt (press my awesome button) “our” being RT  Jeremy: Cool meeting Xavier Woods but like we know hes a gaming fan and watches a lot of content like ours… still on Whose Line Johnathon Mangum is a AH fan , even messaging me at one point. Trevor in chat “what if president trump rode up in a Salad Chalice shirt” , Jack: one guy who bought it , like “im hip with the kids” Ryan: can you imagine someone less likely to be seen near a salad? Matt: I mean ryan he thinks he has to drink them so…. Jeremy: also been having a lot of solicitors recently for some reason… really annoying and during a pandemic. Ordered a sign thats basically “fuckoff im not answering the door LEAVE” , have a ring doorbell (some kind of doorbell app where you can talk to people at the door i guess?)  but when im recording cant be like “hang on a second - FUCKOFF” Ryan: i DO feel like you have the kind of job you could do that , if anything youd put them in the video like “hey you're live right now what you need” … Jack managed to crash 7D2D on my local system already that's a good sign (brief technical difficulties music playing as it cut to ryans screen in the game) 

#AH #Chit chat #livestream #Ryan Haywood #Jeremy Dooley #july 2020 #text #text post #backed up #for later #me #achievement hunter #long post #QnA #chat

[imaginetonyandbucky]

On their first official date, Tony has a cold and ends up taking the wrong kind of cold medicine which makes him loopy but Steve kinda crashes the date trying to tell Tony he loves him before he ends up losing him to Bucky. Even doused Tony kindly but funnily rejects him but offers to buy him dinner. Bucky gives him a friendly threat saying he loves Steve, he's his bff and brother so they'll be cool but that he can't ever go after Tony.

Doped Up Date

Bucky’s heart pounded in his chest as if he were battling a levithan—not on a date with Tony Stark.

Honestly, fighting a levithan would be easier; he’d just need to grab his largest gun and shoot at the damn thing until it was dead.

How did one combat the humor and charm of Tony Stark—resist the beautiful, brown bambi eyes?

How could he win and not wave his white flag in defeat when the  red, stuffy nose on Tony’s face endeared Bucky to him?

Tony chuckled. He rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder. “You’re amazing.”

Bucky squeezed Tony’s hand. He pulled Tony close to his side. The chill off the evening seeped into his coat. If he could feel the cold then Tony could as well; he needed to keep Tony warm. It was bad enough that he had taken Tony outside when he was sick. Tony should be resting somewhere with a heater. Bucky hadn’t been able help himself when Tony had asked him out though.

He had been pouring himself a glass of milk when Tony had stumbled into the kitchen with a loopy grin on his face.

“There’s my gorgeous man.” Tony had clumsily sashayed up to Bucky. “Let’s go on a date.”

Bucky forced himself to swallow instead of spitting out the milk like it had gone sour. “Are you high?”

Tony had waved off Bucky’s question. “I took some cold medicine. Nothing strong. Date me.”

Like the weak person that he was, Bucky caved. He’d wanted to date Tony for so long, but had been too afraid to make a move due to their history. He couldn’t give up his chance at a date with Tony just because the circumstances weren’t perfect.

He also trusted that, despite a few out of character moments, Tony was telling him the truth when he said he was not high off his gourd.

(More after the break!)

“Bucky, you’re ignoring me.” Tony nuzzled Bucky’s shoulder as he whined.

“Sorry. I’m just really happy.”

Tony hummed. “That’s good.”

A violent sneeze bowed Tony’s body.

Bucky patted Tony on the back. “We should get you home.”

Tony rubbed his nose with the back of his wrist. “But we only had dinner. What kind of a date is only dinner?”

“A filling one.” Bucky slung his arm around Tony’s neck. “We’re walking under the stars.”

“On a dirty, busy sidewalk in New York.” Tony pressed closer to Bucky to avoid the two kids and their guardian rushing past.

“We could call Happy to pick us up.”

“Are you trying to kill the romance?”

“We could make out in backseat of the car.”

Tony scrunched his face. There was just something so childish and silly about the pout Tony directed at Bucky; it caused fondness and humor to course through Bucky. He kissed Tony’s temple. “A movie. You, me, and a comfy couch at home. We’ll dim the lights, grab a couple of blankets, and keep each other warm. How is that for romance?”

“Sounds better than it should be,” Tony grumbled. “It’s our first date; it should be more romantic. Flowers, sweeping music, and all that Hallmark stuff. Fireworks.”

“Watching fireworks or kissing being like fireworks?”

“Both.” Tony closed his eyes as he lolled his head back.

Bucky chuckled as he planted another kiss on Tony’s head. “Yeah, sounds like it is time to take you home.”

“I could buy fireworks, you know. I have bought fireworks.”

Bucky nodded his head and mumbled agreements. He had no doubt that Tony had purchased fireworks before.

With a gentle arm wrapped around Tony’s shoulders—or a hand tucked into Tony’s back pocket when Tony took to gesticulating—Bucky guided his sickly love home. Cuddled together, they entered the common area of the Avengers compound and took over the living room. Tony sprawled across one of the sofas and picked out the movie, as Bucky hunted down soft, fleece blankets to cocoon them in. He also fetched Tony’s medicine, much to Tony’s chagrin.

“I’m fine.” Snot dribbled out from Tony’s nose. He grimaced.

Bucky shook his head. He pulled a travel packet of tissues from his pocket then passed a tissue to Tony. “I’m sure. It’s for later when you don’t feel fine.”

Tony took the tissue. He blew his nose. “Hand sanitizer.”

“I’ll grab some while I get the popcorn.”

“My sweet prince, I would kiss you like a porn star if I weren’t carrying the plague.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Bucky grinned as he went to the kitchen. In a flash, he had a bag of popcorn popping in the microwave and was on the move to fetch a bottle of hand sanitizer for Tony as promised. Just as quick as he was to get the popcorn started, he scurried to the bathroom where, after riffling through a couple of drawers, he found the hand sanitizer.

There was a bounce to his step as Bucky returned to the living room. The soft hum of the microwave coming from the kitchen told him the popcorn was still cooking, even as the salty and buttery aroma of the light as air treat teased his senses.

A square, blond head attached to a pair of broad shoulders peeked out from behind the couch. A corded arm pillowed Tony’s head. Laughter lit up Tony’s face as he looked at Steve: the encroacher.

Insecurity opened its maw and threatened to swallow Bucky whole.

Vague memories of a time when he used to be the dashing charmer who had all the girls fawning over him flooded back to him. Bitterness assaulted his tongue as shame coiled through his being; his jealousy was so strong that he was embarrassed.

He was happy that Steve knew how to flirt and charm.

He just wasn’t happy that the person who Steve was interested in was Tony.

Be a good friend, Bucky. Be a good friend. Tony asked you out. He likes you. Don’t go caveman.

Steve cocked his head then looked Bucky’s way. “Bucky, there you are. Tony was just telling me that you two are about to have a movie night. Hope you don’t mind a third wheel.”

“And here I thought you were tired of being a third wheel.” Bucky spoke with a smile that belied his backhanded words.

“Not when I am with two of my favorite people.”

Tony snorted tersely.

Steve gave Tony a look that communicated that he had heard Tony, knew exactly what Tony was saying without uttering a word, and that despite his disapproval, he was amused by Tony’s antics.

The microwave beeped its completion.

Bucky ignored it. “You’re giving me cavities, Steve. Tony and I planned for this movie night to be just the two of us. So…” Bucky swung his arms toward the exit.

A befuddled frown crossed Steve’s features. He looked to Tony for understanding.

Tony wrapped the blankets tighter around himself. “No need to fight over me boys.” He sniffled. “I know-” Tony blinked. “…and my head is spinning. Hello, vertigo, my old friend. Oh! Friday, movie change. Get ready to play Vertigo.”

Bucky marched over to Tony. He tucked the bottle of hand sanitizer into the space where sofa cushion met armrest. Bucky splayed his flesh hand across Tony’s forehead. “You’re not burning up.”

Tony nuzzled Bucky’s hand. “It’s just the mucus forming crystals in my head.”

“Are you sure?” Steve leaned into Tony’s space.  His brows knitted together. “Maybe we should cancel movie night tonight. You need your rest, Tony. I’ll take you out to the movies some other night. What do you say? We can make it a date.”

A part of Bucky applauded Steve for his new and improved pick up skills. Another part of Bucky screamed in horror. With just a few sentences, Steve had brought an end to Bucky’s date while simultaneously asking Tony out.

Steve was devastating him.

Tony huffed. He put his hand on Steve’s cheek and pushed him away. “I know thanks to that serum you are immune to the common cold but please stay out of my face.”

Steve frowned but kept his distance. “I’m worried about you, Tony.”

“Bah.” Tony tossed a corner of the blanket over his head. The fleece covered half his face. “Everyone is such a worrywart!” Tony twisted. He flung his arms open at Bucky. “Come to me, beautiful. Sick people need warmth.”

“Yeah, you were right about not needing more medicine.” Bucky went around the couch. He plopped himself on the other side of Tony. Tony embraced Bucky like he was Tony’s long lost teddy bear. Happiness curled in Bucky’s stomach like a contented cat. It was nice to be wanted. It was wonderful to be wanted by Tony.

Steve touched Tony’s shoulder. Genuine concern contorted his face. “Tony, I’m really worried. I love you; I don’t want to see you hospitalized because we didn’t take care of you.”

“That’s a sweet love confession, Steve, but my weak, barely functional heart belongs to this darling raccoon over here.” Tony pecked Bucky on the lips. “I really hope you are immune to the common cold, otherwise that was a lot more disgusting than I thought it would be in my head.” Tony sniffled.

Red-nosed, watery-eyed, and a voice that was slowly but surely becoming raspy, and Tony was still the person Bucky most wanted to kiss on the planet. He was a smitten man; he did not mind.

“Tony, I’m serious,” Steve’s tone hardened.

“So am I.” Tony lightly kicked Steve’s knee. “Shoo, shoo. Go pine for me in another room, or make another super boy band to fight against mine, whatever it is you do to cope.”

Steve shook his head. “You’re delirious.”

Tony closed his eyes and groaned. When he opened his eyes again, a shade of the sharp wit that he usually carried shimmered in his eyes. He turned on Steve. “Steve, if I am hospitalized it will be from blue balls, because right now, I am trying to get in your best friend’s pants, and you are cockblocking me.”

Steve’s head jerked back as if struck. He blinked rapidly like a cartoon character then stared at Tony and Bucky.

“You two are dating? Really dating? This isn’t a joke?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “We are trying to.”

“Yeah, third wheel and the love confessions are making it a little hard,” Bucky said.

Steve stiffened. Red tinged the tips of his ears. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Love confession? Really?”

“You said, ‘I love you,’” Bucky argued. He wasn’t going to let Steve off the hook for intruding on his date with Tony.

Tony nodded.

“I say ‘I love you’ to both of you all the time.” The red traveled down Steve’s eartips to his neck. Steve’s jaw set stubbornly.

“No, you don’t,” Bucky said.

“Yes, I do.”

“Friday,” Tony chimed in. “Has Steve ever said ‘I love you’ to Bucky or me before now?”

“I have no record of Steve Rogers saying ‘I love you’ to either of you; however, my records do not account for times that he was outside of my hearing range.”

Tony smirked at Steve. “Don’t try to say that every time you’ve said it you’ve just happened to not be around Friday.”

“I was wrong.” Steve stood up. “You’re not sick enough to go to the hospital. You have too much energy.”

“Love you too, Steve,” Tony said.

Steve’s face turned tomato red.

Tony tilted his head so he could kiss Bucky’s cheek. “Love you more.”

Bucky’s grin cut his face in half.

“I’m going to leave you two alone.” Steve hurried for the exit, like a child who had just walked in on his parents kissing.

“Don’t go after my fella again,” Bucky hollered at Steve’s retreating back. He spoke the words playfully with an undercurrent of seriousness that he knew Steve would pick up on. Steve was his family and best friend–he loved Steve–but Tony was special. He wasn’t okay with Steve hitting on Tony.

“I wasn’t!” Steve shouted as he made himself scarce.

“Sure,” Bucky said, sarcasm dripped off the word.

Tony flopped against Bucky. “Finally! Alone at last.”

#winteriron #tony x bucky #tony stark #bucky barnes #sick fic #jealousy #steve rogers #prompts #akira of the twilight

[angrylizardjacket]

like flying [1] {Brian May}

A/N: Stardust AU!!! Mainly a set-up chapter. they/them, fallen star!reader, please please please let me know what you think!!

When one spends their life with their eyes trained on the sky, they tend to miss what’s right in front of them. 

Freddie says that a lot, usually when he’s up by the helm of the ship, and has just witnessed Brian, who is running across the deck trying to get the best vantage point of the sky through the clouds, run straight into John, who in fairness, is equally distracted by the impending storm.

“Could you at least warn us next time?” Brian calls over a crack of thunder.

“Being your guide dog isn’t my job.” Freddie’s glaring into the storm, a white-knuckled grip on the wheel as he prepared to whether it. John doesn’t seem too bothered by it, just picks up his scattered tools, straightens his googles, and heads towards the bow of the ship.

“What about you, ya jackal?” Brian levels a glare at where their resident Warlock had taken up residence on the banister of the quarterdeck, laughing as he watches the events unfold from his vantage point by the Captain. Roger sits with his ankles crossed, balancing with an unnatural ease, and for good reason; his favourite thing was using his magic to make it look like himself appear just that little bit better than the humans around him, irritating git. 

“You should watch where you’re going.” Is all he offers, eyes shining as he watches a crack of lightning streak across the sky.

“I’m trying to watch where we’re all going.” Brian huffs, rolling up his map and putting it in it’s holder for safekeeping. “Anyways, the storms dead ahead, you don’t need me to guide you. I’ll be down by the barrels until this is all over.” And with that he descends further into the ship to keep an eye on, and switch out the lightning barrels as they’re being filled.

From his vantage point on the gun deck, which had initially been for show, and had now been converted into the main collection point that all the lightning funnelled into, Brian could catch glimpses of the storm raging outside, and feel as it knocked the ship about. He had absolute faith in Deaky’s designs, they’d been through far worse and come out singing before, and for now he just contented himself with making sure that none of the lightning barrels overflowed, and occasionally catching a glimpse of stars through the clouds. 

There was no denying he was rather enamoured with them, at least as a concept; spending thousands of years bringing light to the world in it’s darkest hours, holding their constellations for hundred, even thousands of years, watching silently as the universe passes them by, all without complaint. There was something beautiful, artistic about the way they arranged themselves, something that made Brian feel so unbelievably small, and occasionally futile, in comparison. But their constant nature was often the only things that kept him sane aboard this ship, and so he wouldn’t begrudge the stars their shining constance, he’d just be thankful they shone at all, and kept him in a job, and ironically, kept him grounded. 

Roger joins him almost immediately after the storm passes. Brian’s carefully distilling a little of the freshest lightning into a little sample size if the buyer’s unconvinced of it’s quality, which is a tricky process involving heat-proof mittens and a weird metal hose, and Roger pulls off the lid of the barrel without a second thought. By now, Brian doesn’t even flinch; Roger’s adept at keeping the lightning contained with his magic and a flick of his wrist, and looks into the crackling metal barrel without any hesitation.

“Seems like we’ve got a good batch on our hands.” Roger tries to sound like he knows what he’s talking about, like he doesn’t say that every time because he’s a little in awe at the sight of what’s essentially bottled lightning. Brian doesn’t comment. “Well I appreciate your candor, I did do an excellent job.” Roger fills in the blanks with exactly what he wants to hear, and he steps back, stretching out his hand, and there’s a panic that rises in Brian’s chest as what appears to be an electrified serpent rises from the barrel.

“Do you have to show off like that?” Brian asks, deadpan, trying his hardest to hide the fear that the loud, electric snaps bring out in him. After a moment, he caps the sample and shuts off the little vent that he distills the lightning from before taking away the piping, while Roger rolls his eyes but obligingly shoves the lightning back into the barrel. 

As he’s capping it, his hold on the lightning slips for just a moment, and there’s a sudden burst as the not yet secured cap is torn through from his grip, rocketing faster than the eye can see up through the roof of the deck, and into the sky. Electricity bursts forth, fire blooming where the lighting hits the walls and floor in an instant, the very power of it sending both Roger and Brian to opposite ends of the room; it’s deafening, overwhelming, and it takes all of Roger’s focus to wrangle the electricity back under control.

“Spare lid!” He shouts, which Brian parrots back mockingly, looking around.

“We’ve never needed a spare lid why would we have one?!” He cries, and can hear, in the now still night air outside, Freddie cursing up a blue streak as he and Deaky come over to the newly formed hole in the floor of the deck to investigate. 

“Because it’s better to be safe than sorry!” Roger retorts, and suddenly there’s a pair of goggles looking down at them, Deaky, alongside their incredibly annoyed Captain.

“What the blood hell has happened?”

“Roger-” Brian tried to explain as he was putting out fires across the room, but he was cut off.

“We need a spare lid for this batch, okay? I’ll explain after.” Roger insisted, much to both Freddie and Brian’s chagrin.

“We don’t have a spare lid.” Deaky responded, and his face disappeared from the hole where they had been looking in. Freddie’s gaze turns skyward, as if trying to see if the lid was falling back to Earth, though he seemed transfixed.

“Ha! I told you!” Brian cried, and Roger rolled his eyes, as Deaky showed up at the door a few moments later, pulling various items from his tool belt as he set about making a make-shift lid.

“It won’t hold forever.” Deaky explained, “and we can’t sell this batch, I’ve basically just welded a metal plate to the top, and added some insulator. We need to get a new lid.” Roger relaxed, the sudden exertion and overuse of his powers hitting him all at once, though they all jumped when he let go of his hold of the electricity and it crashed threateningly at the new lid.

“How long do we have?” Roger asks, arms crossed as he puts out an on-fire chair with a wave of his hand before collapsing into it. Brian wants to make a snarky remark, but he’s too busy putting out fires of his own, and even at a glance Roger looks like he’s death standing, or sitting as the case may be; either way he’s at his limit. 

“A few days, maybe? I did the best I could given,” and he waves his hand around the ashy room and scattered supplies, “but those lids are specially designed.” And after stamping out a fire by the door, he takes off his goggles. “Worst comes to worst, I can crack the lid and we can chuck it overboard; it’ll come loose in the air and won’t be our problem.” 

“And waste a perfectly good barrel? I don’t think so, dear; we’re going to get our lid.” Freddie sounds so confident that it’s a little unnerving, and he’s still looking at the sky. Brian peers up through the hole and tries to follow his gaze.

“How do you even know where it is?” He asked, and Freddie turned with a bright smile, pointing at light in the sky growing steadily brighter at an alarming rate.

“Because it hit a star, and we can watch where it falls.”

The thing about you is that you adored humanity, you just never understood them. You’d always been so caught up in their day-to-day intricacies that you’d never been bored watching empires come and go, or see history repeat itself over and over again. Each little era brought something new, something to shake up the routine, and everyone’s personal lives, and sometimes you were even able to catch a glimpse of love. That was your favourite thing to watch, the way people would fall in love time and time again, and there’s little patterns, people drawn to one another, sometimes you feel as if you’re watching the same souls come back to each other over and over again. If you liked to fantasize about being one of those souls, you would never say anything to the others who shine beside you, bored with the ebb and flow with time that seemed to change little with each passing eon. 

You knew, objectively, that there were people who looked up at you, who even perhaps loved you, but it wasn’t the same, you couldn’t tell them you loved them in the same way, and after all, you liked it where you were, free from the fear of having your heart eaten like you’d seen happen to your brothers and sisters before, free from the fear of rejection; humans tend to like humans, and you knew if given half a chance you’d want to act out your little fantasy. But it wouldn’t come true; even people who looked up at the stars learned to love something on the ground, you’d seen it happen too many times. 

You were secure where you were, one of the brightest shining stars in the sky, glowing as you delighted in the antics of the people below you, and you never thought that would have to change. 

Until what seems to be a metal plate smacks you in the chest, winding you and knocking you from your perch in the sky. You weren’t even able to cry for help as you crash through the atmosphere. Fear has a stranglehold on your whole body, all you can do is clutch the metal to your chest as the ground approaches, and part of you, in hindsight, will be glad that you passed out before you hit the ground.

deadly viper assassination squad: @strangeandwonderfulconcepts @thatgeekspeak @some-back-ground-noise @ma-ntequilla @d-r-e-a-m-catchme @legendsaresooftenwarnings​ @phantom-fangirl-stuff @obsessedwithrogertaylor​ @cosmicsskies​ @sam-writes​ @queen-mischief-fanfiction​

(i just tagged everyone who expressed interest; tag list is always open, feel free to message me or comment on the fic and i’ll add you xx)

#brian may #brian may imagine #brian may x reader #freddie mercury #roger taylor #john deacon #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #stardust #au #queen #queen imagine #the angry lizard writes

[things-we-used-tc-share]

I hope you stay

“And I know it makes you nervous But I promise you, it's worth it To show 'em everything you kept inside Don't hide, don't hide Too shy to say, but I hope you stay Don't hide away Come out and play,”

Warnings: Kissing, sleeping together-nonsexually

Ship: Logince

Plot: Logan and Roman have been friends for a long time, longer than most people keep friends for. Logan sometimes feels he can’t keep up with the other man, but in reality, it’s Roman who can’t keep up with Logan. 

It’s a clear night and when it’s a clear night Roman knows exactly where he’ll find Logan. The wind blows his hair from his eyes, stray strands riding along the air as he looks up at the stars in the sky. It’s comforting to know the other is likely to be staring at the same stars in the sky (Nothing quite a comfortable as the stars Roman sees in his friend’s eyes). 

He approaches the base of the hill in the quiet night and begins his ascent, he can see Logan at the top, cross-legged on the bench, drawing. The term “Stairway to Heaven,” had never felt so literal as his pace picks up. “Logan?” He says a little breathlessly as he gets to the top, a smile on his lips. Logan’s studious face looks up from the piece of paper and pencil in his hands before he smiles too. 

“Decided to join me today?” He hums, moving up so his friend can take a seat, sliding his bag to the grass, where it rests. Roman nods and peeks at the notebook, the quiet settles between them as Logan draws and Roman watches with a warmth that makes the cold feel like a breeze. “It’s been a while since you’ve accompanied me,” His blue eyes blink with consideration and Roman has never quite felt so at home. He’d almost forgotten, in his recent endeavors to avoid the other man, how happy just seeing him makes him feel. 

“I’ve been...” He trails off, unable to find his excuse that he’d already prepared because now Logan’s looking at him, and it’s like he’s looking so far into his soul that he can see how his heart beats. “Busy,” He finally manages and regrets it almost immediately because he’s never really too busy for Logan. And the other man knows this, which is why he gives a little ‘hmph’ with a smile. 

“I know Roman,” Roman’s heartbeat stills for a moment until he realizes that he’s simply referring to his statement, not his affections. It’s not that he enjoys lying to the one man who can always tell when he's lying, it’s that he and Logan were not the sorts of people who got their happily ever after, not together anyway. Logan was...too far ahead of Roman. His words are endless and he has a name for every star in the sky; it was something that he’d fallen in love with, unbeknownst to himself at the time. He was too clever for Roman, he deserved someone who could think at the same pace as him, whose love was neither too much nor not enough. 

But to Logan, it was Roman who was too fast. To him, Roman fell in love so often that his heart must be made of steel from all the heartbreak. Logan could never love as much as Roman does, he could barely love himself a fraction of what Roman gave to those he loved. To him, he was the one undeserving. 

If you asked any of their friends, they’d sigh and say they’re perfect for each other. The boy who’d known them both the longest would tell you since they were kids they were inseparable. They’d fight sometimes, but it was never a fight that couldn’t be solved with hugs and, as Logan got older and distanced himself from everyone, at least an apology. 

Their eyes meet in the quiet. Roman notices the other’s cerulean eyes and how in the night they still seem as bright as when the sun is reflecting into them. Or his dark curls and how he seemed to have had a fight with them this morning, given up and shoved hairpins in them to keep them out of his face. His glasses, slipping gently down his nose from staring down at his pad with intent. His hands had blue and white paint staining them. More importantly, Logan gives him a smile, Logan’s smile only comes when he’s truly content and that’s enough for Roman, knowing he’s happy. 

“Did you have an audition today?” Logan speaks gently, his words not quiet, but soft. The younger nods, running a hand through his brown hair until it catches the hair tie that's been holding it up. He’d almost forgotten he was all dressed up for the occasion if the glitter on his eyes had been anything to go off. The hair unravels with difficulty and he can finally let the wind do as it wished with his hair. “You look...good,” That smile was going to be the death of him. 

“Thanks, Lo,” 

The quiet settles and Roman battles between staring at the sky or his friend (They were both beautiful, it’s a hard choice to make). Logan leans a little and rests his head on the younger’s shoulder as he continues to draw the landscape before him. 

So why now had Roman decided to avoid Logan until now? For the past four weeks, he’d been avoiding the bullet although he’s quite sure Logan knows. They’d attended the yearly party thrown by their friend Virgil, a quiet man and so a quiet party, friends only sort of gig. It made it easier to drink knowing they were in good company. Too easy to drink. 

Roman woke up with his friend next to him and panicked. It hadn’t been anything other than just that-sleeping, but intimacy had still managed to panic him, trying to compute the sight of his best friend, a few buttons missing off his shirt and curls making a stark contrast against the white pillows. He’d ran. 

That was the issue with him most of the time, despite his reputation he really quite feared falling in love. The issue was, he is in love, he’d been in love for so long now he barely remembered how old he’d been when he realized. He’s nervous. Now, weeks of dodging the issue, he knows as he feels Logan leaning on his shoulder that for better or worse he really does have to tell him. 

“Logan,” The artist hums and moves and he seems closer than he was, eyes full of diamonds and curiosity wrote into every edge of his face. This man just had to be made of stardust, there’s no way anyone can look so...soft, tired and gorgeous. “I...” His words catch in his throat and his chest feels like it’s made of paper as his heart rams into it. How do you articulate to your friend since childhood that you’d give them the Universe and your heart?

“Roman, I know,” This time, there’s a playful tug to his lips and his eyes are blinking back a little mischief, a very new look on his face but it makes Roman’s heart feel softer. “I’ve known for a few weeks, I mean, it took me a while to figure it out, and then I confided in...someone and it appears it’s something I’ve been missing for a few years,” The younger goes through several shades of red before burying his face in his hands and nodding. “It’s okay,” The artist places the sketch pad down and reaches out to squeeze Roman’s arm comfortingly “I must admit it came as a bit of a shock to me, but it felt...almost natural once I wrapped my head around it,”

Roman hugs him and buries his face in the other’s shoulder, he feels like the Universe is smiling at him now, the warmth of the other’s presence a blessing from whatever good karma he deserved. “I love you,” He finally says, and his tongue stops feeling like lead and his throat stops feeling as if it’s been closed for years. 

“I love you too,”

And they do love each other. Roman’s in love with Logan and the way he can turn a blank piece of paper into dreams, or the way he looks at Roman the same way he looks at the stars-full of wonder, content, happiness (and occasionally, existential dread). Logan loves that Roman is the only man he’s ever met that can mix up two completely different words in one sentence, or that occasionally he just trips over his own feet and other days he can walk and dance like he’s made from the air itself. It had taken longer than it should to realize it, a constant in his life that he hadn’t quite realized until waking up in a bed that had contained his best friend and then didn’t. He’d felt lonely, like seeing the other’s face first thing in the morning would’ve been all he’d needed. 

He’d hoped he would stay, not hide away. 

Not that it matters now, as their hands dance into each other and Roman’s laugh fills the quiet with his happiness. It doesn’t matter when they walk into their house and sink into the warmth simultaneously. It doesn’t matter when the dark brown eyes drift to his lips and his hands (Rough fingertips, from playing guitar, Logan notes) come up to his face. It had seemed to never matter when their lips press together and their bodies keep each other warm in the silence of the living room. He’d never really imagined what kissing Roman would feel like, until his heart feels like it’s on fire and he realizes he probably could never have imagined it anyway. 

He wakes up next to Roman this time, the younger’s arm around his waist and his face resting against the other’s back. 

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[thelifetimechannel]

The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.

In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.  

DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.

#bonus content

[lilytcyip]

December 31st, 2018.

1.10 didn’t make it into the pit, drank in aleung’s dorm

1.15 started bullet journaling

1.22 cambridge pkp admittance

1.29 very scenic drive on the way home from school - sun shining on tree branches after rain

2.2 first post on thesoftlyspoken

2.21 cactus catch up with fsyal, aleung, tlim

2.22 peoples day - little moments of fam having dindin together

3.21 succulents diy with ewong; parked car in garage alone for the first time 

4.6 lost house key on bus the bus; supportive fam but also wanted help & someone to be there

4.22 sun run; hongdae pocha & soju with ewong

4.28 extreme air park with sis & cousin

5.1 a quiet place w/ fsyal

5.2 brunch w/ cwong, slim, acottle at twisted fork

5.2 baking chocolate cup cakes w/ rjin & painting; watched before i fall

5.3 psyc scaling; nice bed bath & beynd staff

5.16 main street & trafiq w/ ewong

5.16 tap & barrel w/ acao

5.17 meetup with nwu

5.17 bowling w/ fysal & aleung

5.18 neverland w/ rjin

5.20 avery tea w/ the fam

5.21 mott 32 with the fam ; flying away from sis for 3 months

6.7-6.11 kagoshima

6.9 sandbathing at hotel

6.20-7.7 europe trip

6.20 got upgraded to business flying to amsterdam

7.7-8.18 cambridge pkp

7.13 kuda clubbing & shots; littlearlgreys reached 1k

7.21 london w/ beth & bernice; met up with winnie; fortnum & mason tea, regent street shopping

7.28-7.29 liverpool with sherry, beth & bernice

8.4 brighton with the girls, sever sisters cliffs, pride parade, crowded train ride back to london 

8.12 london with ber & beth, buckingham palace & f&m afternoon tea

8.17 talks with kristin, naoko & berber over drinks

8.18 berber dropped me off at coach stop & i teared up

8.19 had lady M at the airport alone

8.24 meet on main vegan food & bookstore w/ ewong

8.24 thierry & pc w/ efeng

8.25 aleung’s bday party @ suika & bowling

8.29 class 5 road test; efeng’s bday party & karaoke at forage 

10.19 red velvet cupcakes baking w/ cwong, slim, acottle; held jaspter & petted him

10.26 ramen & chapters w/ slim, acottle & cwong

10.28 shopping w/ sis, new uniqlo coat & sweaters, beret

11.11 rose girls night w/ fsyal, nwu, claw, aleung

11.15 walked around & chilled (indian resident schools on campus) w/ acottle - these little moments

11.16 so hyang w/ acao; be careful with driving - almost missed motorist while shoulder checking, very close call

11.20 stepping on crisp fall leaves on my way to psyc 363 in the morning

12.19 girls movie night w/ aleung, fsyal, claw, tlim at fifis house

12.20 aurora w/ rjin & setting up profile on apps

12.21 sushi dinner, chocolate toffee cookies & lemon ricotta pancakes w/ acottle, slim & cwong at cottles house (: also petted dion

12.24 christmas eve dinner with the fam at pan pacific

12.25 seattle enchant & din tai fung with fam (nobody went on their phone during the meal and it made me feel very grateful)

12.25 workout to get fit question; lots of self-love & im very grateful ; had enough self respect to not let any toxicity into my life despite the attention

12.16 boxing day - over the knee steve madden boots

12.27 apple lesson & eggspectation brunch w/ mom (no phone, lots of talking), nail labo after

12.28 worked out w/ ewong

12.28 lunch at home, decor by sis & pics and prettiest cake at home and dindin @ sea harbour

12.29 matcha lava cake baking w/ ewong, boju, princess switch

12.31 eggspectation brunch & rc w/ aleung, lucas, fsyal 

12.31 cocoru, snowy village & facetime countdown w/ cyu & efeng

looking back, there were so many opportunities and firsts in 2018 and for me personally, it was one of the years where i grew the most. i did spend my time more wisely in 2018! i did set up schedules by setting up productivity trackers, taking more effective notes, putting more effort into studying. did end up tracking the cups of water i drank but not with the plant tracker anymore ahaha also took on new workout challenges with arms & thighs and overall, in 2018, i focused on improving myself. the most impt milestone this year is definitely starting bullet journalling! its been something that i wanted to do for years and im so glad i discovered amandarachlee’s channel bc her videos are literally what gave me that little push into bullet journalling! bubz inspired me to challenge myself AGAIN ; i was never creative / good with doodling but i always thought learning how to draw titles was kinda stupid when i was younger bc teachers never appreciated the title, only the content - which was very understandable. my creativity / doodling were never validated but little did i know it all happened for a reason and these titles are now helping to me to incorporate the skills i learned into my journal! i always knew writing nicely would be of use one day, i just didn’t know it was meant to be used for bullet journaling and thesoftlyspoken. this also applied to school: as each day passes, my goal is getting more and more clear (: psyc 370 resparked my interest in psyc and everytime im so grateful that i could be there to learn more about our experiences on a neurological level. i know i belong in this program i thought i wouldnt enjoy psyc 300 but it was one of my favourite classes! talking to silvain about dealing with negativity from patients and attending a therapy session for the first time were definitely eye-opening. im more and more sure that therapy is what i want to do and i want to help that are struggling to see the beauty in life and that if we can feel and LIVE more if we just tweak the way we think a little bit. talking to silvain lifted a huge weight off my shoulders bc after a while, you do get used to it and that you learn that people are strong and resilient. you learn that people are strong and that they are capable of being happy and i just want to be a part of the journey for people that need a little more help. starting a bullet journalling also allowed me to realize that art can take on many forms and that i don’t have to be good at doodling to express myself creatively. i cant wait for all the themes /doodles im going to create in 2019! these last couple of days in dec, i was caught up on multiple apps on my phone that i didn’t get to read / be productive as much as i had hoped for. but its okay, i still had a good break and im still so so thankful that i got to spend quality time with family and friends. being on these apps were another good experience; im glad i had enough self-respect to not any toxicity into my life despite the amount of attention i got. i didnt know i had so much self-love in me and im so so thankful <3 i was also surprised and that a lot of my friends offered to be there for the bbt meetup and it just made me feel very loved bc i thought it was too much of a hassle. sister setting up the balloons / cake for my birthday was a beautiful surprise and i felt very very loved.

another big thing was definitely the exchange experience at pkp. those 6 weeks at cambridge, i made lifelong memories and met people that i would never forget. i bonded with hk people for the first time and it really felt like home. when youre alone and you go on solo trips and live independently, you learn so much about yourself. but getting to meet other people from other countries and seeing how our cultural differences influenced our ways of thinking was the most rewarding experience. i really needed to realize that and that we are all biased in our own ways. i was disappointed in myself on the brighton train trip but what i learned from that was that while it may seems like there’s nothing much you can do and that there will be moments when you feel weak and helpless, theres always SOMETHING that you could do for at least 1 person. more importantly, i needed to recognize the power imbalance issue does exist in first-world countries like the UK and that we could all be doing a little more

2018 was a year of discovering how much self-love i had, how much other people loved and cherished me, going on adventures, and that being thankful for all of you have before you ask for more. things you hoped for in 2018 did come true: the exchange / major both turned out okay and there’s no use in worrying about them bc they will all come together, one step at a time. 

in 2019, continue to be grateful, patient, present, and dont forget to listen more. heres another year of memories, self-discovery and fun adventures on this journey called life (: 

#personal #thoughts #2018 #diary #last post of 2018

[clown-bait]

29 Neibolt St (Monster Roommate AU) CH16

Fluff incoming! So two new characters are showing up in this short little chapter! And Pennywise finally takes his first bath in decades. Wow what an accomplishment! 

CHAPTER 16

Uncle Ashley 

“Look its a long story I just want to take care of my stab wounds first.” Leech was still in Penny’s arms clutching his silk costume

“Why are you nearly naked?” Freddy asked raising his eyebrows.

“Shut up Kruger.” Penny growled.

“Hey Fred you gonna introduce me to the bald babe and the uh… circus freak?” came a strangers voice it was gruff and cocky.

“Ah shit of course you'd have someone here when I'm half nude and bleeding out.” Leech lolled her head back.

“It's not a bad look doll face!” the stranger came into the room now he was roguishly handsome with a large chin and a missing hand.

Pennywise growled at the stranger. “Back off human”

“What are ya gonna do Bozo, throw a pie in my face?”

Pennywise stepped forward to stare down the human. “Now now boys. Im flattered really but Pen are you forgetting that my leg is currently leaking all over the floor.” Penny grumbled and moved to set her down on the couch the movement causing her to feel light headed.

“So what exactly happened?” Chucky asked

“Um well Leech finally killed a guy…. which was beautiful… attacked me and the servant….and……”

“And then what?” the gang looked on in anticipation.

“I…we…” the clown blushed a bit

“Wow and here I thought I was depraved. Really putting the freak in circus freak ey Bozo?”the human cringed.

“That’s Pennywise to you human. ANYWAY we got into an argument Leech did something stupid”

“You accidentally told her you loved her didn't you” Freddy sneered.

“I- NO “

“He totally did” Leech said weakly from the couch.

“LEECH”

“I still cant see why you wont say it. Everyone knows at this point.” Chucky rolled his eyes

“I am a eldritch creature from the macroverse I don't love”

“Don't make the same mistake I did kid”

“Why is everyone calling me kid I'm older than humanity its self.”

“Because you’re being a bitch” came Leech’s weak voice from the couch.

“You're lucky you're injured darling.”

Leech tried to laugh but ended up wincing and coughing in pain. “I don't have sympathy for you” Pennywise glared down at her.

“Bring me some juice Pen” she reached out a shaky hand still coughing.

“Do I look like your care taker?”

“If you love me you'll bring me some” she looked at him weakly while pouting

The clown sighed and walked into the kitchen. “You're the best!” she called after him blowing a kiss which he caught and proceeded to throw into the blender.

“So wait he did this to you?” the human asked.

“Nah this was from those kandarian guys.” Leech was struggling to talk wheezing more and more.

“Ah our mutual friends fan fucking tacstic.”

“Fred who is this guy?”

“Names Ash, S-Mart employee by day demon killer by night.” he took Leech’s hand and kissed it. “heard you had a problem with a book, my book, came to get it back.”

Pennywise returned and handed her a pitcher flashing his fangs and growling protectively at the human. Leech drained the container violently making inhuman growls and moans the whole time.

“I uh take it she's not….”

“No. She is one of mine.” Dracula spoke up from the door as he and Jim entered the room.

“JIMBO! GET OVER HERE” leech shouted relieved to see her servant in one piece.

“Master you're injured can you not make things worse” she was crushing him in a headlock before finally letting him go. Jim looked up at Penny and nodded.

“Jim.”

“Clown.”

They caught everyone up on the story, Pennywise leaving out the part as to why Leech was mad at him in the first place. “So what are our options here?” asked Chucky

“We need the book. Who ever has it is probably responsible for this.”

“Didn't you lose it? Doesn't that make you responsible?”

“I didn't lose it ok it was stolen.”

“When did you realize that?”

“Three hours ago.”

“Ash this shits been going on for days.”

They discussed their options. Finally deciding to split up in the morning to ask around town if anyone else was having trouble with deadites. Leech was forced to stay back due to her still healing despite her protests. She could barely walk but she hated feeling useless like this. When all was said and done everyone began to leave to go about their business.

“So I'm going to die now aren't I.” the younger vampire turned to her mentor.

“It is the final step child.”

“You guys will… be there when I… you know, kick it right? We may be dysfunctional as fuck but I consider you guys family. Most of you. *cough* Freddy…”

“My dear you're the deadbeat daughter I never had I will be there” Dracula smiled.

“Don't worry sweetie well stick around wont we?” Tiffany said from the stairs.

The other monsters smiled and nodded it was the least they could do for her, after all they were family now.

“Penny?” Leech turned to the clown who had yet to say something.

“Uh…sure.. I guess…”

“That’s your response?” Dracula glared at Pennywise.

“Get off my back old man.”

“You're older than me.”

“SO YOU ADMIT IT!” Pennywise shot up excitedly.

“Wow hey dying here, dealing with some deep existential crisis shit” Leech waved her arms around.

“Stop being so needy.” Penny pushed her hand away.

“Says the guy who knocked an entire stack of books off my shelf so I’d pay attention to him.”

“It worked though.” he gave her a teasing smile.

“So you’re going to stay then?”

“Don't have much of a choice.” he grabbed her hand squeezing it and giving her a quick grin before anyone else could see.

“So, when are we going to do this?” Leech asked.

“We could do it now…” Freddy suggested.

“Not a good idea”

“Explain Williams.” the younger vampire demanded.

“You leave an empty vessel for those things to take and well have to put you down permanently.”

“So what you're saying is I'm stuck.”

“Basically.”

Leech put her head in her hand and pulled it down her face “shit.”

————-

Leech awoke in her bed, every inch of her body ached and stung. It also didn't help that Church the cat had decided to sleep on top of her. Its like the undead feline knew her ribs were still healing and he did it just to spite her.

“Church you evil asshole! You never let me pet you then you pull this shit? No wonder you and Penny get along so well.” the cat began kneeding her chest for extra insult to injury. Just as she reached out to FINALLY pet the undead feline Penny came in with a glass of blood for her. Church woke up hissed and trotted over to him. “REALLY? I was just about to finally win him over”

Pennywise chuckled walking over to her, Church rubbing against his legs purring. “Here drink, don't say I never do anything nice for you.”

She sighed and took the glass struggling to hoist herself up. “Did everyone leave?” she asked taking a sip. “Some of us are still here. Keeping watch.” He replied.

“Come sit with me?”

“I have things to do.”

“Please Pen? I need it.”

“Will this make you heal faster?” he sighed.

“No. I just like annoying you.”

“You do a great job of it” he grumbled and flopped on the other side of the bed arms folded.

She finished her glass and leaned against him nuzzling his bells so they jingled against her nose. “Stop that.” He glared and shrunk down lower onto the bed. She responded by playing with his hair wrapping a finger behind his ear and massaging it.

“Cut it out” he growled while leaning into the touch

“Uh huh, sure Pen.” the vampire kept going ignoring the clowns empty protest, moving her hand to the back of his head. She made her fingers into claws and used them like a wire head massager. Pennywise tilted his head back.

“The door is open someone will see.” he was groaning and purring loudly drooling more than usual

“What? You embarrassed someone will hear you actually enjoy yourself?”

The clown was melting into the touches.

“You're injured and yet you still find ways to torture me.”

“I know you poor thing having to endure relaxing head massages”

“I suffer so much” he smiled in delight still purring.

Dracula eventually floated into the room followed by Jim who was carrying fresh bandages for Leech’s leg wound. They both stopped when they heard the content sounds rumbling from Pennywise who was now leaning his head against Leech as she ran her claws through his hair.

“Ah apprentice! You are finally awa-……Clown? Are you purring?”

“N-NO!” Penny jumped off the bed.

“Do you uh want us to come back later?” Jim asked amused.

“IM NOT PURRING IT WAS THE CAT”

“The cat just ran down the stairs.” Dracula gave him a smug grin.

“IM NOT PURRING”

“We shall return later don't get carried away now love birds!”they backed out of the room. Penny crashed onto the bed face first groaning. After a couple seconds he picked up Leech’s hand and placed it back on the back of his head, she snorted and continued the massage hearing the soft purr begin again.

———————

Leech had been texting Tiffany frustrated that she couldn't be out looking for whoever had the book. She had been sitting alone all day and the guilt was consuming her. She wished Penny was still here, as annoying as he was. He had gone out to stock up his pantry more knowing that he'd need the nourishment when they eventually have to clear the sewer.

The young vampire decided to at least try to take a bath since the feel of the hot water would be soothing on her bruises and she was freezing in the cold fall air. She attempted to stand her injuries protesting shooting pain through her system. Leech managed to make it off the bed and onto the floor. “guess theres no turning back now.” She mumbled. Crawling to the bathroom was exhausting the poor vampire had left scratches in the floor boards as she went, she was being incredibly stubborn and probably making everything worse but she was going to get clean dammit.

When she finally collapsed against the bathroom door she attempted to remove her shirt wincing as she raised her arms above her head. Her shorts came next and then the bandages. Everything hurt, tears stung her face as she growled in pain and frustration. “Why me? Why am I the one to take the brunt of this abuse?” she felt small and so alone in the bathroom. All she wanted was a new start, every time something good happened to her, every time she felt a little bit of happiness in her life something else went wrong. Leech attempted to stand and look in the mirror. She cried out in frustration over not being able to see how bad of shape she was in. “Thats right I forgot I'm a fucking monster now.” she sobbed and sunk against the wall she was frustrated and defeated beyond belief.

Pennywise had come up to check in, he was bored out of his mind not being able to prowl his sewer and whenever he wasn't feeding himself he always tried to bother Leech. When he saw she wasn't in her room her grumbled following the trail of claw marks in his flooring. The clown was about to scold her when he heard a sob he pressed his ear to the door. “What the hell am I becoming? I never asked for this.” the clown cracked the door open to find his favorite vampire was on the floor head resting on knees.

“What are you doing?” Penny grumbled, annoyed.

“Go away Pen, I'm feeling sorry for myself. You probably don't want to deal with me anyway”

“You're right I don’t. Stop being sad.”

“Not like I can just turn it off.”

“Looks like I have to deal with you then.” he walked over to her his figure towered over the vampire making her feel even smaller. “Why are you upset?”

“I hate what I am and what I’ve done.”

“Explain.”

“I ran away from my problems I let myself become… this and now everyone is paying for it because I cant even get being a undead right. I should have just given up.” Tears ran down her eyes and she grabbed her long ears folding them forward like one would pull their own hair.

Penny glared down at her in anger. Great now he's mad at me too. Leech thought. He moved down quickly pinning her against the wall. She sobbed harder in fear and sadness.

“Never be ashamed of what you are little hunter.” he spat. “I didn't choose just anyone to be my mate Leech. The way you kill… My dear you weren't meant to be human, you were meant to float above them.”

“But the D-Deadites… If I-I wasn't weak….” she stammered out through the tears.

He scoffed and grabbed her face forcing her to stare at him. “Weak she says. Hunters are not weak little Leech. You worry too much about dying, that is something humans do. You are not human, oh no you're much better. That is why you're mine.” he leaned in closer to her narrowing his eyes when he didn't immediately see her cheer up. Pennywise growled and closed the gap between their mouths letting out a rumble before he broke the kiss abruptly and pushed her face back. He got up to leave but was stopped when Leech shot up grabbing his ruffled collar she had a newly lit fire in her eyes. The vampire pulled him back to her mouth kissing him hard growling back at him “Theres my little monster” he snarled against her mouth. She bit his bottom lip before breaking the kiss, breathing heavy and staring at him.

“Feeling better?” the clown smirked proud of his little pep talk.

“I need to clean my wounds.” was all she said not wanting him to see the ghost of a smile finally forming on her tear stained face.

“Are you asking for my help?” he picked up a clean washcloth following her over to the extra large bathtub as she tested the water.

“Get in the tub jackass.” the clown’s lips curled into a smile.

————-

“I still cant believe I got you to take off the costume.” Leech pressed her own naked flesh against the clowns pasty white skin on her back.

“Just this once.” Pennywise was lightly tracing his fingers over the marks he had left on her from previous encounters. She took notice of this and turned to him a worried look in her eye.

“How beat up do I look?”

“You look fine Leech.”

“But like is it noticeable?”

“If you really must know here…..” he stood up leaving the tub. Penny shifted into a reflection of his vampire secretly making sure that his version looked just as pretty as he thought she was. “See? Still beautiful.”

“flatterer.” she sank back into the water cheeks darkening a bit.

The clown smiled and turned back sporting a silk pink nightgown.

“Penny, what the hell is that?”

“What? You and Tiffany were wearing them last week and they looked comfy. I just took a bath for the first time in decades, I'm getting comfy.”

“Help me get dressed you dork.”

Leech pulled the shirt over her head wincing a bit while using Penny as support. He scooped her up to carry her back to her room Leech wrapped her arms around his neck resting her head on his collar.

“Hey Pen?”

“hm?”

“Thanks.”

“Don't let it get around. I have a reputation to uphold…”

The clown grumbled trying not to look at her, those feelings and smells threatening to overtake him again. She reached her hand up and pulled his face back to hers before smiling and whispering “I love you” against his soft lips. Pennywise's eyes flew open wide, face the color of his bathrobe. The feelings got to him anyway and the terrifying monster kissed his little hunter. He growled against her mouth in pure adoration. Stupid feelings.

A knock came at the bathroom door Penny nearly dropped Leech as they jumped back.

“Occupied!” they said in unison.

“Junior?! Well, well, well! That a chick I hear in there with you?”

“Oh you've got to be kidding me.” Pennywise groaned.

“Open up its Uncle Penny we need to have a chat.”

Leech gave Pennywise a look. Shit. The clown mentally cursed. The intruder barged into the bathroom. Leech was wide eyed and confused to see a second evil clown who apparently was also called Pennywise. The new clown looked at his nephew in disbelief.

“Um I can explain.”

-----------------

PAPPA’S HERE! Also I’m hype we finally have Ash too he’s one of my all time favorite horror characters!

#pennywise #pennywise fanfiction #pennywise the dancing clown #it fanfiction #pennywise x oc #monster roommate au

[yeoldontknow]

Did You See?

Author’s Note: lord i am so glad someone requested Jongin fluff so i could make up for the torture that is Mourning Air. this is a gift for @kpopandlock and i hope hope hope i have done this justice. romance comes very hard for me unless theres chapters of tension and build up, so i hope this makes every Nini stan swoon just a tiny bit <3 enjoy loves!

Pairing: Kai x Reader

Summary: every day, you fall a little bit more in love with your best friend, Jongin. everyday, you ache for him. everyday, you miss all the signs of something he’s been trying to tell you.

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3,068

Nini[2:06 AM]: you up?

Y/N[2:08 AM]: yeah why

Nini[2:08 AM]: are you hungry?

Y/N[2:10 AM]: !!! diner run? :)

Nini[2:11 AM]: i have a better idea ;)

Y/N[2:12 AM]: better than 2AM waffles?? D:

Nini[2:13 AM]: promise to keep an open mind

Y/N[2:14 AM]: nini it’s too early...or late idk to be open minded~~

Nini[2:15 AM]: ok then be spontaneous

Y/N[2:16 AM]: what are you suggesting

Nini[2:18 AM]: cheesesteaks

Y/N[2:18 AM]: im not fucking cooking at 2 in the morning, are you high

Nini[2:20 AM]: nooo let’s go GET them i know an amazing food truck in philly

Y/N[2:21 AM]: are you driving?

Nini[2:21 AM]: as long as you DJ

Y/N[2:22 AM]: come pick me up~~ <3

Nini[2:23 AM]: that’s my girl! be there in 10

True to his word, Jongin arrives ten minutes later looking too put together for what you think is just a night drive. He stands in your doorway, bright smile making you feel like you’re ascending dawn, grey hoodie and running pants matching with a casual, attractive air of non-effort. You want to comment on this, tell him he's overdressed and making you tumble into a state of longing, but before you can speak, he leans over to kiss your cheek and whisper in your ear. 

‘We’re taking the scenic route.’

This is nothing new for him. He's said these same words to you hundreds of times on different occasions, sometimes even in metaphor, but tonight it feels different. Tonight, his breath hovers over your ear a little too long and it takes all your willpower not to press your cheek to his. You know you're alone in this sentiment, know that these feelings are one sided and must remain this way for the benefit of your friendship. But still, tonight, these words make you want him more. 

The highway is empty as you drive, chasing the moon and stars with your headlights. You watch him, studying the way he seems to glow in the night, and think he never really looks as relaxed or as serene as when he's driving. With one hand on the wheel and the other out the window, fingers dancing in the cool night air, his face is placid and happy, eyes bright and filled with hidden laughter as he drives. This is when you really see him, truly see all the vulnerable parts of him, when he's pensive and assumes no one is looking; when he's alone with you. 

Mirroring his position, you stick your arm out the window and find yourself falling into the moment, collapsing into it. You've never felt closer to him than right now, driving on the interstate for a spontaneous cheesesteak run. You've never felt more alive than in this moment, as the state Pennsylvania sign passes you by. Beside you trees and trees and trees pass along the river bank, and you're glad he chose this route. You're glad he wanted the extra time with you and no one else, not even other strangers on this secluded road. You're glad that he wants you, even if it's only like this.

Eventually, you fall asleep - not a truly deep sleep, just dozing softly, hand still catching the wind as your head lulls to the side with parted lips.

You are asleep and so you don't see it. You don't see the way he turns to look at you, your skin shimmering as the first glimmers of the sun start to pour over your face. You don't see the way he smiles, admiration of you beginning to eat away at and melt through him. You don't see him reach for your hand as it rests on your thigh with loose fingers, and the way he pauses just over the palm. He ghosts over it, molding his hand above it as though he were miming the hold, before pulling it back to the gear shift. You don't see him clutch at it, holding it and pretending it is your skin.

You don't see him tumbling with you.

Nini[1:33 PM]: you going to jongdae’s thing tonight?

Y/N[1:35 PM]: idk maybe. i have to see if i feel up for it

Nini[1:37 PM]: pllssss!! youre never really up for these things and i need you with me tonight

Y/N[1:40 PM]: why tonight of all nights? lmao youve gone to so many parties without me

Nini[1:41 PM]: because tonight i just don’t want to be without you :)

Y/N[1:42 PM]: this is not a reason

Nini[1:43 PM]: excuse me, it’s the only reason that matters

Y/N[1:44 PM]: you know i get shy at parties

Nini[1:46 PM]: jongdae and i will be there

Y/N[1:48 PM]: and if it were just you two it would be ok - it wouldnt even be a party~~ it's other people nini :/

Nini[1:50 PM]: i’ll be with you the whole night i promise :))

Y/N[1:52 PM]: youre not going to take no for answer are you :c

Nini[1:52 PM]: nope :D

Y/N[1:56 PM]: fine. ill meet you there ugh

Nini[1:58 PM]: thank you duchess! i'll make it up to you! <3

Y/N[1:58 PM]: you better

Jongin finds you the minute you enter the crowded house, his hand seeking yours and threading your fingers together as you push through the door. You know he’s already drunk, though you don’t know how long he’s been here. Like usual, his body is craving contact after only a few drinks of alcohol. Typically, he keeps you close by so he can touch your skin and soothe his bleary ache for affection, never allowing you to wander too far out of reach. Always this is born out of trust, you think. He knows and trusts you enough to take these things from you, expects them to be freely given because the language of your relationship dictates it. 

Always, he does this and doesn't see the way hope brims over and leaks from your pores. Always, he doesn't see you swoon.

‘I'm glad you came!’ Jongdae shouts over the music as he hands you a drink. ‘You literally never come to my parties. This is such a nice surprise.’

‘This one persuaded me,’ you concede, tilting your head in Jongin’s direction. He’s distracted, eyes scanning the room with a wide smile offered to everyone but you. Seeing this makes your heart sink a little, knowing that, at some point, even if he doesn't mean to, his promise to you will be broken. 

It only takes an hour.

After leading you around the room, squeezing your hand as you talk through your shyness with others and whispering that he's proud of you, he leaves your side at the first notes of his favourite song. For a few minutes, you watch him dance and sing, jumping and moving with an ease that makes you envious. When he laughs, his mouth becomes a glorious circle, head cocking back as though he can't contain the force of his joy. When he sings along, his eyes close in sheer delight at being young and being alive. 

You find this all too beautiful and too heartbreaking to look at. It only makes you want him more.

So you turn and go out to the yard, hoisting yourself into the fence rungs to sit and drink, taking small sips of whatever is in your cup so you don’t get drunk. It's quiet here, perfect for thinking and longing and wishing on all the stars you can count.

Your back is to the door, so you don't see it. You don't see the way Jongin searches for you the moment the song ends, biting his lips and furrowing his brow in worry. You don't see the way he smiles, awed and moved by the way you hum to yourself as you stargaze. You don't see him lean against the door, eyes turning up to the same star and filled with hopeful wonder. 

You don't see him wish that you were his.

Y/N[6:33 PM]: come over

Nini[6:35 PM]: mmmmm why? movie night?

Y/N[6:36 PM]: if you want. im making your fave tho, so i thought id ask

Nini[6:37 PM]: CHICKEN????

Y/N[6:40 PM]: lmao yes and if youre a good boy ill even let you help me cook

Nini[6:41 PM]: excuse you i am always a good boy

Y/N[6:43 PM]: you abandoned me at the party last weekend. that was very naughty ;(

Nini[6:45 PM]: i told you i was sorry :( and i didnt really abandon you. dont say that :(((

Y/N[6:46 PM]: THAT WAS HOW IT FELT NINIKINS

Nini[6:48 PM]: im so confused like youre upset with me but youre using my nickname and i ?????

Y/N[6:49 PM]: i was upset but im not anymore its ok bb. are you coming?

Nini[6:50 PM]: yeah be there in 15?

Y/N[6:52 PM]: ok. bring wine please

Nini{6:52 PM]: you got it duchess <3

You leave the door unlocked for him, an open invitation to your home, your heart, your life. When he arrives, he’s carrying your favourite red wine and a small chocolate cake he acquired from a bakery along the way.

‘I want to feel like I’m contributing,’ he murmurs with a bashful smile. 

‘Aww,’ you coo, taking the cake from him and tapping his cheek. ‘I would have let you cut some broccoli but this is much better.’ 

He lingers behind you for a while, watching the way you cut and stir and manage time in your kitchen. It bewilders him, a little bit, the science of cooking becoming something of an art beyond his comprehension. This is the one thing you can hold above him, the one skill you have that he doesn’t, and you are too proud to admit that you sometimes use this to be close to him. Tonight is an example, how you decided to make chicken only because he said he would come over. How you decided to even consider it because he would be here and near you and doing exactly this: pressing himself behind you to watch and share your air.

After several minutes he moves away from you, pulling out his phone and scrolling through it with a content, placid expression.

‘Where’s that speaker I got you for your birthday?’

‘In the bathroom by the sink.’

He disappears and comes back seconds later, holding the black rectangle in his hand as he syncs it with his phone.

‘We’re going to listen to some music and you’re going to relax.’

You scoff, flipping chicken in the skillet. ‘I don’t need relaxing.’ 

‘Yes, you do,’ he says firmly. ‘Even the way you said that was tense.’

Setting the spatula on the counter, you turn to face him with a cocked eyebrow. ‘Now who’s the tense one?’

He doesn’t bother to respond to this. Instead, he hits play and soft soul music starts to play from the speaker. Sighing, you turn back to the stove and attempt to make yourself look busy. This was done on purpose. He knows that soul music feels like it belongs to you in some way, like you’ve claimed it as the sound of your blood.

What he doesn’t know is that the sight of him dancing to Otis Redding will hurt you, hurt you in a way that would make your heart feel as though it were bleeding. He doesn’t know that the sight of his hips swaying to the rhythm would make your breath catch, pausing at the sight to admire and memorize it before continuing with a quickened pace. He doesn’t and cannot know these things, so you keep your back to him in order to protect yourself. Because now, you think, you cannot possibly want him more.

Your back is to him, so you don’t see it. You don’t see the way he approaches you, eyes hungry and arms outstretched to hold you in the them. You don’t see the way he reaches for you, hands coming to rest atop your hips like he’s claiming you the way you’ve claimed the music. When he starts dancing with you, moving your body with his as he presses himself tightly against you, you don’t see the way his lips part to exhale against your hair. You don’t see the way his mouth hovers above your ear for too long, tongue desperate to lick against the lobe. You don’t see the way his eyes roll back in his head as you push against him, lightly, teasingly, and the way his fingers twitch to run themselves beneath the band of your shorts. The way they yearn to sneak beneath the band of your underwear to press, and touch, and stroke.

You don’t see the way he finally, truly, believes he is losing control. 

Nini[1:40 AM]: are you up?

Y/N[1:43 AM]: yeah why - MORE CHEESESTEAKS?

Nini[1:44 AM]: can i come over?

Y/N[1:44 AM]: are you ok?

Nini[1:45 AM]: i need to see you

Y/N sent a photo

Y/N[1:46 AM]: see! it’s me!

Nini[1:46 AM]: no. i need you see you. please.

Y/N[1:47 AM]: jongin youre scaring me. whats going on?

Nini[1:48 AM]: please say yes. just say i can see you. i just need you.

Y/N[1:49 AM]: yes babe yes the door is unlocked

Nini[1:50 AM]: on my way 

Five years. You’ve known Jongin for five years. 

Four years. You’ve loved Jongin for four years.

Never have you seen him look like this. For years you’ve watched him stumble into and out of love with anguish, grace, and pride, and still he’s never looked like this. 

He’s in your doorway and he looks like he’s gasping, swallowing whole mouthfuls of the air to catch his breath and to catch your scent. Hair has fallen into his eyes, his wide eyes that look at you as though they’ve reached their limit or found something - they’re fixed on you so completely you’re starting to feel naked beneath the gaze. There’s suffering happening beneath his skin. He’s fraught and fighting with something and you’re scared, you’re scared because you feel he brought the air of change with him and it’s making you vulnerable and uncomfortable.

He rushes into your house but doesn’t sit. His feet carry him in nondescript patterns around your living room, pacing in an almost frantic way.

‘Jongin,’ you whisper loudly, trying not to startle him out of his panic. ‘Jongin, what is going on?’ 

‘I reach for you,’ he blurts out, turning to look at you as though he’s had an epiphany. ‘I reach for you all the time and you never see it.’

Your brain muddles over these words, toys with them and breaks them apart to try to understand them but comes up empty and confused. 

‘You reach for me?’ you ask, breathless though you don’t know why. Something is happening, and your body is in on it first, making you lose faith and trust in the air and yourself. 

‘I reach for you,’ he repeats. ‘Something happens in my day, and I reach for my phone to tell you. I crave food at two in the morning, and I reach for you to come with me. I watch you cook, and I want to touch you, so I reach for you but you don’t see me. I am always reaching for you, and I need you to see me.’ 

The words rush out of his mouth like they’ve been waiting to be released for years, like he’s practiced them hundreds of times and now that he’s finally saying them he can’t wait to get them out. 

You’re facing him, and now you see it. You see the way his hands reach out to you as he approaches you, coming to cup your face gently and cradle it as though it were treasure. You see the way his eyes bore into yours, filled with love and lust and longing. You see the way he is breaking, shattering beneath his desire and how his breath is coming too quickly to really keep him alive. You see the way the world is spinning but you both are still in this moment, learning to reach for one another.

‘Do you see?’ he asks, softly with a trembling lip. ‘Do you see why I needed to be here? To hold you?’

You close your eyes and nod.

‘Don’t do that,’ he whispers.

You open your eyes and make to speak, but his thumb softly swipes over your bottom lip and tugs it gently down to luxuriate in its plumpness.

‘Don’t close your eyes,’ he clarifies. ‘ I want you to see.’ 

Eyes open wide, you watch as he lifts your chin upwards and presses his forehead against yours, taking the moment to breathe together. You watch as he slides just out of view and presses your lips together, your body suddenly warm with the contact and wetness pooling between your thighs. Keeping your eyes open, you let him kiss you, gently and full of purpose with a warm mouth and a soft tongue. Your eyes roll back just slightly as your hands fist in his hair, tongue pressing against his in time with your hips. His hands slide down your back to fist in the hem of your shirt, pulling it up as he moans, loudly and without shame, as his fingers touch your hot skin, and you see.

You see how you both took the scenic route to get here, to this moment. You see how having him in your arms makes the world brighter. You see how kissing him like this makes the world move slower.

You see how badly you need him. You finally see how deeply he loves you. 

#kai x reader #kim jongin x reader #kai fluff #kpoptrashtag #kai scenario #exo ff #exo scenarios #exo #exo fanfiction #kim jongin #exo au #kim jongin fanfic #kim jongin fluff #exo fluff

[toyfrog]

Spader' Portguese Interview: Planting a Massive Oak Tree and Breaking Away!

Oh, yes he is.

Without a Doubt: Spader isn’t happy. And it seems his own fanbase are out of touch with his true feelings on the subject of fame, and why he just wants a simple work schedule like he had in Season 1?

Is that too much to ask? Apparently so. And because he’s been forced to work all the time, it’s taking him away from his private life.

HES NOT HAPPY.

But those who follow me *know* this already.

James Spader stars in “The Blacklist” since 2013. It’s more of a dark character in his career, the ones he’s drawn to.

[I’VE MENTIONED THIS: WHENEVER A LEAD ACTOR BECOMES FRUSTRATED WITH STORY, OR IN SPADER’S CASE, ADD THE SHOOTING SCHEDULE, THEYRE GOING TO VENT. NOT IN THE STATES BECAUSE THEY ARE PROTESTING IN THEIR OWN WAY THEIR DISTRESS OVER THE CURRENT STORY DIRECTION. ILL EVEN ADD ON THAT THE INTERVIEWEES ARE HAND PICKED BY THE SAME SOFTBALL CREW WHO WILL WRITE JUST ABOUT ANYTHING TO HYPE A BAD SHOW OR INTERVIEW THE SAME ACTOR OVER AND OVER THE ACTOR WHO LOVES TO HEAR HIMSELF TALK, LIVES THE SPOTLIGHT, NILS IS A TERRIBLE DISEASE FOR ROOKIE ACTORS. THEY START BELIEVING THEIR OWN PRESS UNTILL THOSE RATINGS CRASH THEIR Q SCORE]

[SO WHILE AMIR ARISON, AND RE TWEET THEIR ‘LOYALTY’ BECAUSE THEY ARE GETTING THE MOTHERLODE OF AIRTIME AND STORY, OTHER ACTORS REMAIN SILENT AND FOR GOOD REASON. THE SHOW IS ALARMINGLY IMBALANCED.]

James Spader’s debut in the art of representation took place in the cinema in the early 1980s, but in the nearly four decades of his career, the actor stood out as a TV character in “gray” or completely dark. That was the unethical Alan Shore of Fair Cause and Boston Legal or the puzzling Robert California of The Office. But also from Raymond “Red” Reddington from The Blacklist, NBC series issued in Portugal by SIC. Dressing the skin to these villains is not an imposition, but Spader admits in an interview that DN had access that feels “a certain attraction” by them.

“I’ve always found anti-heroes very attractive and of course playing a villain who mixes his evil with humor and irreverence can be a lot of fun,” he explains. [HERES THE DISCONNECT: RED IS A VILLAIN-HIS FANS REFUSE TO SEE THAT. INSTEAD THEY FEEL RED IS THE LONG SUFFERING HERO HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH LIZ. YEA. THATS *NOT* WHATS GOING ON HERE AT ALL. IN THE END, “HE MUST PAY.” READ THE FARMER PARABLE AND YOU’LL KNOW THE ENDING. It DOES NOT MATTER WHAT GOOD RED DOES IN THE FIVE YEARS….IN THE END, “HE KNOWS IN HIS HEART THAT HE MUST PAY.”]

In fiction, he believes, tyranny represents “in many respects the extremes of society” and is a “kind of morbid curiosity” in knowing these extremes that impels it.

[DO WE SEE HOW SPADER AND KLATTENHOFF APPROACH THEIR INTERVIEWS? ALL ABOUT THE CRAFT NOT THE STORYLINE. NEVER ABOUT THE STORYLINE BECAUSE PROFESSIONALS LEAVE IT TO THE WRITERS. BUT IF RATINGS SINK BECAUSE OF THOSE CHOICES, THE ACTORS THROW SHADE IN A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE WAY AND SPADER BROUGHT HIS OAK TREE]

The success of his “Red”, the man most wanted by the FBI - who gave himself on the condition of being released and in turn helping to catch criminals on a blacklist - is also due to “luck” On television had come “at a time when anti-heroes were not plentiful.” “Now there’s probably more, though I do not have time to watch TV. I’m too busy doing it,” stresses the interpreter. [HE DOESNT WATCH TV HE DOESNT WATCH BLACKLIST ITS WHY HES NOT ON TWITTER HE GOES SHOOTS HIS SCENES AND GOES HOME. HE DOES NOT HANG OUT WITH ACTORS OR STAFF HE IS LIKE MANY ACTORS WHO PREFER TO AVOID THE SPOTLIGHT EXCEPT WHEN THE DIRECTOR SHOUTS, “ACTION”]

In his house, he says, “there is not a single television yet.” “I’ll move in soon, who knows if there will not be?” Jokes Spader, 57. “I do not know if this is not a paradox … I spend so much time, so many hours, [NOTICE HE KEEPS BRINGING UP HIS SHOOTING SCHEDULE? TRY MEMORIZING HIS DIALOGUE THE WINTER FINALE SHOWCASED SPADER FOR 21 MINUTES. THATS EXCESSIVE. He’d prefer ten maybe 8. 21 MINUTES LEAVES NO ROOM FOR ANYONE ELSE. FANS MAY BE FINE WITH THAT BUT SPADER ISNT. THATS OVERTIME] so many days, weeks and months to live within the television fiction and within the television drama … [SPADER IS TIRED. SPADER WANTS WHAT HE WAS PROMISED IN SEASON 1.I dedicate so much of my life to television as when I do not I’m working, I do not want to waste time with her, "he explains. [Her AS IN HIS GF? I would assume?]

Incidentally, probably not watching the fiction on the small screen is that James Spader does not have a formed and "objective” opinion on the evolution of the industry. “I do not know if I understand the business, I know it’s changing, it’s getting more involved and growing, it’s expanding in a dizzying way, [AND HERE COMES THE OAK TREE TO PROVIDE ENOUGH SHADE TO REACH LOS ANGELES] but it’s very complicated to be aware of what happens if we spend a lot of time working, [WORKING SHOOTING, NO TIME WITH HIS GF OR FAMILY NO TVS IN THE HOUSE DOESNT WATCH THE SHOW NOT ABSORBED IN RED ITS NOT HIM AND HES TIRED OF THE CHAOS-MY BELIEF, THE BAD WRITING. USING HIM TO FIX THE WRITING. USING HIS CHARACTER TO CARRY THE SHOW AND THE IMBALANCE TO THE SHOW] Which is my case, "he explains.

Compared to other NBC hit series such as This Is Us, Chicago Fire, Chicago Justice, or Timeless, [ALL THESE SHOWS HAVE BETTER RATINGS THAN THE BLACKLIST. THATS HOW BAD THE SHOW IS. WHEN ACTOR DOESNT USE THE EXCUSES OH, THERES MORE SHOWS ON TV, WE HAVE A BAD TIME SLOT, THE LIve 7 PPL WATCH-YEAH NO HE MAKES ZERO EXCUSES BECAUSE HE KNOWS.

ITS THE STORY TIER. HE WANTS IT TO GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS WHERE HE HAD LESS OF A SHOOTING SCHEDULE. SO FOR THOSE THAT SCREAM MORE RED AND LIZ AH THATS NOT WHAT SPADER WANTS. HE WANTS LESS.] The Blacklist ranks 13th among the 18 issued by the North American station. But it was once one of the biggest audiences. [BUT IT WAS ONCE ONE OF THE BIGGEST AUDIENCES. RECALL SALKE SAYING THE BLACKLIST IS POPULAR OVERSEAS? RECALL ME SAYING WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE BAD WRITING SHOWS UP? When PRESS DO INTERVIEWS THEY GET TO VIEW THE SEASON EPISODES. THATS WHY THIS INTERVIEW HAS BLACKLIST ON ITS DEATHBED] The fourth season, currently on display in the US, debuted in September last year with 6397 million viewers. The most recent episodes were below five million. [A BLOW INDEED ALL BECAUSE OF TOM PIMPING, ARAM PIMPING, ELISE PIMPING ALEXANDER KIRK PIMPING, SARAM PIMPING KEEN2 PIMPING AND FINALLY PLOT DRIVEN STORY WITHOUT PIMPING THE THREE MAIN LEADS AS THE SMASH CREDITS INDICATE FOR A REASON: RED/LIZ/RESSLER. NO INTERACTION WITH THE MAIN LEADS REFLECTS THE RATINGS-THE WRITERS KNOW WHAT THEY DID THATS WHY THEY ARE SILENT AND SO DO THE ACTORS. CURRENT STORY DIRECTION SINCE 3B KILLED THE SHOW] A blow that has left the doubt in the air: will NBC cancel or renew the story? [TWO MILLION VIEWERS LOST AND COUNTING. EUROPE SENDING THE SIGNAL TO NBC AND THE SHOW:FIX IT]

Spader remains optimistic, and believes that what has so far kept this story on air "is a strange mix of things,” [HERE COMES THAT MASSIVE OAK TREE AGAIN JUST PLANT IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WRITERS ROOM OR ON TOP OF EISENDRATH'S DESK] including the fact that screenwriters are in Los Angeles [OMG WRITERS YOU ARE OUT OF TOUCH WITH THE MECHANICS OF NEW YORK AND OF COURSE BY THE TIME NY GETS THE SCRIPTS EDITS HAPPEN ADJUSTMENTS HAPPEN REGULARLY] and recordings take place in New York. “We do not even live our lives at the same time … [HE HATES HIS SHOOTING SCHEDULE DID I MENTION THAT? IF LA IS WRITING AT FOUR PM SPADER AND GANG ARE FILMING AT 7 PM OR 9 pm, OR TEN PM OR SIX AM OR 8 AM TO ACCOMODATE LOS ANGELES AND TO ACCOMODATE A SPIN OFF] The series is strange, sometimes surprising [SOMETIMES SURPRISING IOW HELL GET A GOOD SCRIPT LIKE CAPE MAY OR IN S3 IN MARVIN GERARD BUT MOST OF THE TIME ITS STAGNANT, PREDICTABLE AND PLOT DRIVEN] and intense, sometimes irreverent, [OAK TREE] sometimes passive [PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE] and still volatile.” [IOW IF THEY DO A 180 STORY FLIP BACK TO ITS As DIEGO SAID REGARDING S3 A MAGICAL FORMULA, NOT PLOT DRIVEN BS THE SHOW CAN LAST. BUT HE DOESNT WAX POETIC NOR DOES HE SUGARCOAT THE HYPE AND HE BRINGS UP IRREVERENT SOMETIMES? Yeah look it up. HES NOT HAPPY. ]

On the direction he would like to see the plot follow, [MAN I LOVE THIS YES JAMES WHAT PLOTLINE DO YOU WISH FOR BOKENKAMP AND EISENDRATH TO FOLLOW IM GOING TO GUESS ITS NOT KEEN 2 ITS NOT THE BABY, ITS NOT THIS ISOLATION OF THE LEADS AND HE NEVER MENTIONS RED AND LIZ NOTICE THAT?] the actor only says that “the most satisfying is when there is an abrupt change.” [ABRUPT CHANGE OR AS WE SAY IN THE INDUSTRY A 180 STORY FLIP. End KEEN2, SHAKE THINGS UP GO BACK TO RED/LIZ/RESSLER ENOUGH OF ARAM HES HAD THREE STORYLINES IN ONE YEAR AND TOM HAS HAD THE MOST EXPOSURE THAN ANY ACTOR COMBINED AND WHAT DID THEY GET? LOSS OF ADVERTISING 0.7! KEEP IN MIND IF TBL DEBUTS AT 0.8 ITS TOAST. It needs 1.0 TO STAY IN CONTENTION] “I think we’ve already been successful in that aspect and it was precisely these heights I most liked The Blacklist.”

[OY SPADER IS NOT HAPPY. FANS ARE NOT HAPPY ADVERTISERS AND NETWORK ARE NOT HAPPY AND NOW WRITERS ARE SILENT. FOR SPADER, ITS JUST A PAYCHECK NOW. BETTING ON RE WAS STUPID. GO BACK TO ORIGINAL STORY DIRECTION LIKE I SAID-A 180 STORY FLIP…SEEMS THATS EXACTLY WHAT SPADER WANTS: ABRUPT CHANGE AND IF THEY DONT DO IT AND LEAVE IT LIKE IT IS I DONT THINK HE WILL RENEW HIS CONTRACT BUT CONTINUE TO PLANT THAT MASSIVE OAK TREE .]

#theblacklist #jamesspader #Interview #Breakdown #TheWritersAdvocate #raymond reddington

[apsbicepstraining]

Is Pokemon Go the answer to America’s obesity problem? | Dave Schilling

People may be gazing through their smartphones at digital reputations in inappropriate places, but at the least they are moving

I am currently writing this under a great deal of stress. The Pokmon Go servers are down. Frankly, if the Pokmon Go servers were up, I wouldnt be writing at all.

Id play around Pokmon Go, because thats all I do now, and Im surely not the only one in such situations. America nay, the world is exhausted with this totally irrelevant neutered reality mobile tournament in which human beings accumulate grotesque caricature beings obscuring throughout the planet.

There are some haters out there who claim Pokmon Go which disconcerts people from their everyday lives, be promoted to accumulate said monsters wherever they may be, whether in a ballpark or at the Holocaust Museum is poised to spoils our already tenuous culture. But I prophesy the opposite is correct, because Pokmon Go actually fosters stepping. The activity might even solve Americas obesity trouble forever.

Living in Los Angeles, I hoof it as little as humanly possible. First of all, its oppressively hot right now. Second, everything from my local grocery store to the juicery where I get my light-greens is miles away. Theres even a song about how no one in LA feet anywhere. I waste the majority of members of my epoches either in my air-conditioned residence or in my air-conditioned auto, watching life pass before my seeings with no interest in its contents. Pokmon Go exasperates this tenfold with its seam of digitized imagination, but at least Im putting one paw in front of the other while I do it.

Most video games are played from a accommodated rank. Summon of Duty, Halo, Uncharted and the like are best knowledge with your behind securely planted on a deluxe couch. I have watched people play video games while at a holding table, but those people uniformly “re being ridiculous”, like theyre just about to run out of the chamber because the fire alarm get pulled. Those Wii Sports tournaments, where people swaying a remote control in front of a Tv while pretending to play golf, was all the rage a decade ago. But now no one plays them unless theyre wino after a dinner party or their parents dont give them watch movies rated PG-1 3.

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Is Pokmon Go good for your health ?

Obsolete gaming tendencies aside, amusement in its own country is becoming more and more sedentary. When is the last time experience you heard about person playing racquetball, a sport that was all the rage for health nuts in the 70 s, for merriment? Parties play racquetball now just because theyre alarmed they are likely succumb if they dont.

Pokmon Go be the first time that mass amusement in years to require a person to leave the house to play it. Yes, its obnoxious to construe person in a movie theatre, a Starbucks line or at a funeral trying to snuff out the very near Charizard or Squirtle instead of paying attention to whats happening immediately in front of them. But its marginally better than Snapchat, which is a massive succes for our culture.

Pokmon Go helps the average ADD-ravaged millennial to explore their encloses , not only stay where you are and put silly filters on it. Again, I recognize that their smothers in this instance imply slipshod graphics and human reputations that garment like examples from the Hot Topic website, but this is a victory for living nonetheless.

Imagine the pasty wastoids on XBox Live rising from their self-imposed graves to find sunshine and fresh air. Representation these mobs of Mountain Dew-addled minors realizing that something exists beyond their front door. Humans have to usage to stand healthy. Its a physical obligation, but a brisk path are likely to be the least stimulant part of the average persons daylight unless you enjoy the phones of car horns or birds chirping, which merely age-old people like.( I realize that citizens of places like New York, San Francisco and Chicago do spate of ambling during the day both travelling and of the aimless smorgasbord. They dont require the additional promotion. Its the children Im thinking of .)

This is also going to invigorate the decomposition plazas and public spaces of this society, as aspiring Level 12 Pokmon trainers descend on our ignored infrastructure. I do worry what will happen when a child decides to go catch a Pikachu he or she found on a road on-ramp, but we can deal with that when it happens. At least that child will be in tip-top condition.

We might not be able to make fast food healthier or depress the gluttony our culture reveres, but we can reach treading less distasteful. You might not ever be interested in real fowls chirping, but at the least maybe you can find the pleasure in the siren song of a wild Togepi or Fearow. Just try not to get run down by a bus while youre at it.

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Hands on with the world’s first 4K TV with built-in Alexa voice controls

Image: ramyond wong/mashable

It used to be that you bought a cheap TV from budget brands and got pure garbage for what you paid for, but that’s not so anymore.

Case in point: Westinghouse and Elements new 4K Amazon Fire Edition TVs, the first smart TVs to include Alexa voice control. They start at $449 for a 43-inch and climb up to $889 for a 65-inch 4K set, but man are they anything but junk.

SEE ALSO: Thanks to Amazon, it’s time to kill your landline

I was extremely reluctant to take a look at Westinghouse and Elements Amazon Fire Edition 4K TVs primarily because I didnt even know these two budget tech brands still existed.

Still, I gave them the benefit of the doubt. If they were able to tap Amazon to essentially integrate the excellent Fire TV set-top box into their 4K TVs, there must be more than meets the eye. And there is. I own an original Amazon Fire TV (not the 4K version) and Ive often booted it up and wondered why nobody has turned it into a TV interface.

With the most recent Fire TV update, Amazon gave the UI a reboot to put content front and center. Westinghouse and Elements Fire TV Editions take the new UI and build on top of it, creating a smart TV interface that just makes sense.

Features like the ability to rename inputs to PlayStation, or Xbox, or Blu-ray instead of trying to remember what HDMI 1, or HDMI 2, or HDMI 3 are will leave you in awe. Sure, most smart TVs let you rename the inputs, but Ive never seen anyone do it. The only reason mine have names is only because I accidentally stumbled upon the setting, which was buried within layers of menu systems. Moreover, inputs arent displayed as elegantly as on the Fire TV interface.

Alexa, the commander

I cant say much for the picture quality of the 4K TVs themselves (they look fine), but I can tell you having Alexa voice controls with the ability to play and discover live over-the-air (OTA) TV channels in addition to the content available on Fire TV feels like a game-changer, and could be the first real step toward an Amazon TV.

Sandeep Gupta, Amazons vice president of smart TV and Fire TV, told me during a demo that Amazon and Westinghouse/Element set about reinventing how TV is watched.

Instead of focusing on channel numbers or programming guides, the TVs let the content shine.

OTA channels are neatly organized in the “On Now” row with your most-watched channels at the front. You can also see how far along the program is with the red bar.

Image: raymond wong/mashable

When you plug in an antenna into the TVs to suck down all the free OTA channels its crazy how most people forget theres still lots of free broadcast TV including the major channels like CBS, NBC, ABC, CW, and more they smartly reorganize the content alphabetically into the On Now row. The channels you watch most frequently appear at the front of the row so you dont need to keep clicking through to find them.

Its simple, organized, and intelligent. The de-emphasis on channel numbers is not too dissimilar to what YouTubes doing with YouTube TV.

Alexa works as youd expect her to with the included Voice Remote, which resembles a longer Fire TV Voice Remote, but with volume buttons and three buttons for Amazon Prime Video, Netflix, and Amazon Music.

Say Alexa, go to CBS and shell pull up the channel. Say Alexa, switch to PlayStation and shell switch you from whatever input youre watching to the game console.

Alexas not limited to basic channel switching. It actually looks at the meta information from the OTA channels, so you can find live OTA content with voice commands. For example, if you want to see Rachael Ray just say Alexa, play Rachael Ray.

As on Fire TV, you also get all of the Alexa features including smart home control and access to its knowledge database. If for whatever reason mid-way through a Modern Family you want to check the weather, order pizza, or look up a fact, you need only ask Alexa.

Glimpse of the future

While I didnt get to try the TVs day in and out at home, I noticed no lag while zipping through the interface or using Alexa. Sung Choi, vice president of marketing at Element Electronics, says the company didnt skimp on the hardware to power the software.

Youre not getting wimpy just-good-enough Fire TV Stick hardware; the TVs come with a quad-core processor, 3GB of RAM, 16GB of internal storage (expandable via USB port and SD card), and Wi-Fi antennas that are strategically placed in the bezel for the best signal.

This is baby steps towards a real Amazon-branded 4K TV powered by Alexa.

Words dont really do the TVs Fire TV and Alexa integration justice. After looking at the TVs, Im reminded of how skeptical people were of the Fire TV and the Echo. People didnt understand why theyd ever want those devices until they realized it made things more convenient, and now they cant ever go back.

Make no mistake; while Amazons logo isnt on these TVs, its not hard to imagine one day when it will be. There might not even be a need for a Voice Remote if Amazon can build the Echo’s far-field technology that activates Alexa directly into the TV set.

Better yet, if Amazon can figure how to get an Alexa-controlled TV to work with cable content, then itd be the holy TV grail weve all been waiting for.

WATCH: Amazon just made its first legit delivery via drone

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[angrylizardjacket]

ask your destiny to dance [11] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

The second worst part is that Kristin is so nice. She’s bright, and sweet, and she ‘loves  that shirt where did you get it from? You made it, oh that’s so cool! I could never do something like that you’re so talented!’ She’s so earnest, barely nineteen, and she clings a little, to Roger when he’s around, to Ash and Mary, because they answer her questions; she’s starry-eyed when she stands and watches the band through the glass of the sound studio window. She doesn’t know a lot about music, but she knows enough to appreciate the work they’re putting in. 

The worst part is that she takes a liking to Ash.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to talk so much, I’m just nervous, you know?” And Kristin’s smiling a little distractedly as she watches Roger play. “I mean, I only met him a few weeks ago-” and she keeps talking but Ash’s brain short circuits; she’s not just a girl he picked up at the bar, she’s a girl he invited to the bar to watch him play.

“Could I talk to you for a second?” Ash asks, standing abruptly, holding out her hand to Kristin. The other woman takes it, and Mary shoots the ginger a supportive smile.

Ash wants to tell Kristin to run as far as she can, wants to warn this kind-faced girl about what Roger was capable of, wants to tell her that he basically admitted that he still wants to hook up with Ash not forty minutes ago, but as soon as the door swings closed, Kristin starts.

“I know you’re friends with Roger,” she starts, a little sheepish, and Ash’s eyes go wide, “and you’re protective of him or something like that, but-”

“No, not at all!” Ash blurts out, realising she’s still holding Kristin’s hand. “It’s you I’m worried about, darlin’.” It’s takes a long moment for Kristin to process Ash’s words, wide-eyed. “Roger can be,” Ash takes a moment in the silence to choose her words carefully, humming as she turned each over in her mind before settling on; “fickle.” Run fast, run far, he mind yells, but Ash is already feeling selfish for thinking it; she’s told him she’s going to try and keep it platonic from now on, she shouldn’t try and scare off someone he’s a little serious about. 

She’s not jealous. 

If she keeps telling herself that, maybe she’ll believe it, maybe she’ll stop feeling like her emotions are betraying her.

“Fickle?” Kristin’s brow furrows, and her expression turns soft. “You’re worried about me? Oh, Ash- can I call you Ash?” She asks nervously, not at all patronising, and Ash lets herself grin.

“It is my name.” 

“I promise I can take care of myself.” Kristin assures her, but the horrible thought flashes through Ash’s mind, that August would adore her, Ash knows immediately that she has to keep Roger from hurting her while they’re together.

“I’m sure you can.” Ash gives her a kind smile, forcing herself to relax. “I just wanted to say my peace.” She said, and Kristin gives her fond smile, squeezing her hand as a reassurance, before they head back into the recording studio.

“You two... seem to be getting along.” Roger doesn’t sound like he likes that, eyes zeroing in on where the girls hands are clasped, and Ash gives him a sunny smile. He narrows his eyes further, plopping himself onto the other end of the sofa from Mary. Kristin lets go of Ash and immediately makes her way over to him, sitting in his lap, and something in Ash’s chest tightens painfully, smile dropping as he wraps an arm around her.

“She’s just being kind.” Kristin assures him, and Ash is pretty sure she sees a sarcastic response pass through Roger’s mind, but he bites it back.

“She’s good at that when she wants to be.” He says instead, quiet, apologetic smile on his face when he makes eye contact with Ash, and the girl in question just gives a jerky nod, turning to watch John begin playing.

“Yes, our Ash can be a sweetheart.” Freddie says from his seat beside the sound engineer, and Ash gives him a grateful smile, and he gives her a nod of acknowledgement, smile reassuring.

“A downright sap, sometimes.” Mary calls from the sofa, despite the fact that they both knew she’d never seen Ash as anything less than a dry-humoured bartender, though Ash still feels her cheeks heat up, embarrassed.

“Okay, okay, thanks I think she gets it.” And when Ash turns back, Kristin and Roger are quiet, her head on his shoulder, both looking up; she’s looking at Deaky, looking relaxed and content, and Roger is looking at Ash, a little confused.

“I don’t want to get into another argument.” Roger says it around a cigarette when Ash joins him outside for a smoke. He’s restless, both from the tension he can feel crackling from Ash, and the fact that they’ve yet to strike gold in the recording studio.

“I just don’t know how you could say all that to me while you knew she was in the next room; you’re dating her, aren’t you?” She doesn’t light up her own cigarette, just shoves her hands into her jean pockets. Her voice is hollow.

“I’m sorry.” It’s the most sincere he’s sounded so far, and the silence that follows feels like eons. “I’m sorry I said what I said; about the standards comment and everything else, okay? After what happened with August, we were good, weren’t we? Not back to... to whatever we were before, but we were good. I miss that.” I miss you, he thinks, but he can’t say it. “What happened?”

Ash can’t open her mouth because she knows if she does, she’ll say exactly what she’s thinking, that they were good, but she watched him pick up Kristin at her bar and she was hit with how much his words had hurt her, and how much it hurt to have proof of him spending the night with someone else.

“I guess I’ve just been bottling up being mad about that comment you made.” She lied easily, shrugging, not meeting his gaze. “You are dating her, aren’t you; you’ve been together for a few weeks now.” And Ash isn’t sure which answer will hurt more.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He seems a little uncertain, and he’s reached the end of his cigarette.

“She’s good.” Ash says, quiet enough that Roger almost doesn’t catch it, and when he goes to comment, she looks up, smiling a little too brightly. “We’re good, for real.” He thinks for a moment that she’s correcting her earlier statement, but he’s not quite sure, and she reaches out to rest a hand on his shoulder, and he’s frowning, confused. There’s a sincerity in her eyes that he can’t help but believe, and as soon as she can see he believes her, she’s turned and headed back inside.

“Don’t you think I sound like shit?” Ash walks in as Freddie is pacing, listening to a playback of himself. As if working off muscle memory alone, he moves in to give Ash a distracted side hug, before letting her go. Ash herself is a little distracted, and she makes her way over to where John’s sitting by the sound engineer, deep in thought. She rests her chin on his shoulder, uncertain of what else to do, and he pets her face comfortingly as a form of acknowledgement. 

They’re so close to gold it’s almost painful, and she watches Freddie, restless, step back into the recording booth. Stepping back, Ash listens as he sings, hears the door open and close but doesn’t turn, just gives her best friend her full attention, and seeing her there, less troubled than earlier, bright and focused on him, Freddie’s own focus intensifies.

“What if we bounce it left and right for the ‘ah-ah-ah’s?” He suggested on the next playback, resting an arm on Ash’s shoulder, frowning at the soundboard. They listened, Freddie’s voice sliding from the speaks on the left to the right, a little hypnotically.

“And then centre for the last one!” Brian says, eyes bright, filled with a new energy, coming up and leaning on Ash’s other shoulder, to which she couldn’t help but grin, feeling the electricity crackle through the air as they listened back to the recording as they experimented on it.

“And blast it!” Roger cries; and there it is, coming together, gold.

Freddie picks Ash up, spinning her around, ecstatic, before he’s turning and reaching for Mary. They’re bottling lightning from the moment they step back into the studio, experimenting with their sound, and it’s like a weight has dropped from everyone’s shoulders, tension leaving only to be replaced with elation and excitement. Ash throws herself back onto the sofa between Kristin and Mary, positively beaming, and Mary wraps her arms around Ash, pulling her in for a tight hug, while Kristin tapped Ash’s leg with excitement. 

Everyone’s up, down, and all over the place; at one point, Ash is on Brian’s shoulders with a tambourine, and then she was pulling the change from her wallet, pouring it onto the drums, along with the others, and she and Kristin were botching the cha-cha to a playback of Modern Times Rock ‘N Roll as Freddie and Mary were stepping through a surprisingly good jive, and the other three were bopping along; Roger grinned as he watched Ash dance. Actually, she realises, he’s probably watching Kristin; she doesn’t dwell on it.

The night was growing later, and they were still working as Kristin called it a night, and Ash had her head in Mary’s lap as the boys were in the recording studio, trying to record with a bucket over the microphone, and Mary was nodding off against the back of the lounge but Ash felt electric. Men in suits come in asking for a demo, but she’s too wrapped up in the music being made to even really register them. They leave with a demo of the recording before she’s even fully realised they were there.

“Where’s Kristin gone?” Roger asks, eyes bright as he moves to the sofa. Ash pulls her legs back, making room for him, before she puts her legs in his lap without thinking, neither of them really register it, it feels like it always has, and they’re smiling at each other.

“I think she went home.” Ash told him, and Roger’s gaze slides to Mary, something fondly amused about his expression. His hand is on Ash’s thigh and something inside her feels sated.

“I think Mary’s about ready to call it quits too.” He mused, voice getting a little quieter as to not disturb her, before he looks back at Ash. “I appreciate you being cool about Kristin.” He said, and Ash rolled her eyes.

“Well I wasn’t going to flip out, that’s a pretty dead giveaway that something did happen between us.” Ash’s voice was light, she seemed more exasperated than anything else. Mary makes a noise in her sleep, and for a moment, there’s fear in Ash’s eyes that she had heard what Ash had said. Roger is quiet for a long moment, his expression nervous as he looks at Mary, and his hand begins to move in a comforting rhythm against Ash’s thigh. She doesn’t seem inclined to move or to ask him to stop.

“You guys sound so fucking good.” Ash finally breaks the silence, tension dropping as she beams at him.

“Well we’re glad to have you with us; our unofficial mascot.” He muses, and Ash smacks his arm, snorting out a laugh. “Fine, not a mascot, our... what do you do for us?” He asked, which only made Ash laugh harder. Mary made another noise, and Ash pressed her lips together, stifling a guilty laugh as she sat up, moving her legs from beside Roger to sit next to him, legs tucked up onto the sofa. He kept his hand on her thigh.

“I serve you drinks and lend Freds my clothes,” she clarified, and Roger nodded as seriously as he could, the two of them looking through the window to see Freddie and John waving about card board tubes as Brian was fiddling with the amp.

“So you’re our costumer?” He asked, and Ash made a thoughtful noise, smiling at the notion.

“Only if I can dress all of you-” and as she said it, Roger’s hand slowed, coming to rest at the top of her thigh. Ash’s smile became a little tight. “Of course I was going to be cool about Kristin.” It’s so fucking pointed it hurts both of them a little, and he folds his hands in his lap.

“Of course you can dress us, I’d look great in sequins.” He mused, tone still bright and amused, and Ash snorted, rolling her eyes.

“You give yourself too much credit, Rog.” But there’s still a tension there, and Roger turns to her, eyebrows raised, and his answer is so automatic that he doesn’t register it until the words are out of his mouth.

“Ash, look at me, look at my face; I look good in everything, I even look good in nothing.” 

Ash can feel in this instance that she’s at a crossroads; her mouth goes dry, and she has to look away, something in her chest tightening.

“You’re really doing this? You really decided that that was what you needed to say right now? God, you’re an idiot.” She gives a humourless laugh, standing. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He tries, but she just shrugs helplessly.

“You are who you are, Rog, I get it.” And she started collecting her things. “Just try not to act on your instincts, for Kristin, okay? She’s good. I’m going home, it’s late.” And she gives him a tired smile. “Tell the others I said goodbye; I am really proud of you guys.” 

Roger nods, giving her a weak smile, and watches her leave.

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#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x oc #borhap #bohemian rhapsody #bo rhap #borhap imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #queen #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #mary austin #ask your destiny to dance fic #the angry lizard writes