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#atm hes the most obvious example i can think of when it comes to. how differently characters can be percieved by different parts of a fandom
suffarustuffaru · 7 months
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I don’t speak Japanese so I’d LOVE to hear more about the differences between the English and Japanese Re:Zero fandoms
yeah sure its very interesting to me now that ive noticed it more lately :o !! though ok disclaimer - i dont speak japanese either hah so if anyone is seeing this and does speak japanese + is familiar with the japanese speaking side of this fandom please add info if youd like!! and of course ill be mainly speaking from the english side of things bc im more familiar with that yes (sorry anon again im not a japanese speaker T^TT so sorry if i tread on info you already know!!). but yeah im speaking from my own experiences given the Topic at hand. ive been in this fandom since... 2019?? which is so wild to me aljsdfljsd.
anyway so - i think the big difference is mainly that the english fandom and many english speaking people that engage with rezero are. to put it bluntly, misconception runs Rampant to a very Interesting degree. to the point where it seems like the english speaking side of the fandom is More. Aggressive. than the japanese fandom. not that the japanese speaking side of the fandom is perfect - also bc what fandom is ever perfect 100% of the time, tbh - but that the louder people in the english rezero fandom are. well its a Very low bar. Very low. and from what little ive seen and heard so far, the japanese fandom tends to understand rezero and its characters better than the english fandom. which ig makes sense bc you know, rezero is japanese media, and also im sure cultural differences come into play here as well (im not familiar enough on this to speak about it in depth but the cultural differences feel Pretty Clear even though i cant 100% put my finger on what they specifically are).
but also bc yeah. its not That hard to beat some of the english fandom when it comes to media comprehension. misreading rezero is unfortunately Extremely common, both in and out of the rezero community. its Everywhere - youtube, myanimelist, ao3, ff.net, reddit, twitter, various rezero discords - and from what ive experienced, rezero tumblr basically kind of feels like finding an oasis after crawling through the desert for days on end lajdslfjs. which is probs bc rezero tumblr is Smaller and also a lot of us seem to be lgbtq+ in some way or be allies, so you dodge a lot of the misogyny and homophobia that happens in other rezero english circles. its why you see a lot of openly queer rezero-related posts on here while its a bit more. barren. in other rezero english places yes. bc its more safe to post queer rezero things on rezero tumblr rather than rezero reddit for Sure.
im not sure how the japanese fandom is with that exactly but theres some interesting differences between whats popular in the english fandom vs the japanese fandom. i mean as an otto fan ive been noticing how hes more popular with the japanese fandom—and on top of that, ottosuba is Way More popular in the japanese fandom too. reinsuba and julisuba seem to usually be the most popular mlm subaru ships in both fandoms but ottosuba is like A Little Up There in the japanese fandom. not sure if its on the same level as a ship like reinsuba but ottosubas Definitely loved as a ship. from what little ive seen it also seems like ships like vichisha are more acknowledged by the japanese fandom? im not entirely sure on like—Complete differences regarding what the japanese fandom finds interesting that may differ from english fandom, so ill really have to look more into the japanese fandoms fanart and fanfic when i can bc im pretty curious too. in general though, it seems like the japanese fandom has a bit more variety…. you can find fanart on So Many characters in rezero (which already has a very Massive cast full of very fleshed out characters) there. not that you cant in the english fandom bc theres a Bit of variety too, but id more so contribute that a little more to the Big Cast and less to having actual variety in fancontent. and of course im not saying that the japanese fandom may be a bit barren in some areas of fancontent—bc inevitably when u have a big cast of characters, side character content is gonna be more sparse compared to the main characters, but to me it does feel like the english fandom lacks variety in comparison. (and also yeah. seems like the japanese fandom acknowledges gay ships more in general tbh.)
whats focused in fancontent makes it easy to tell what may be popular in a fandom in terms of how fans perceive the source material and what fandoms want to do with the source material, if that makes sense. and its very easy to tell that with the english fandom if you just hop on rezero ao3–or even better, rezero reddit given theres a fanfic ideas thread thats usually pinned right at the top of the site. again i havent looked at japanese fanfic for rezero yet (bc i dont know where to look oops ajdndn) but when it comes to the english fandom you can tell that theyre generally more focused on the female cast both in fanart and in fanfic bc. theyre women and many fans on say, reddit or various rezero discords, are cis straight men, so inevitably… well lets just say you can tell when a man makes content for this fandom o.o theres also the. very weird reaction fic trends and trends following popular fics in the fandom, the two biggest being the watching him die again and again react fic and re:forgotten, the former of which includes a harem plot with subaru and the main girls of rezero while the latter is one of those subaru gets tortured by his ooc friends and then he gets revenge on them fics. which i suppose says something about the english fandom too.
of course on ao3 its dominated mainly by english fics (of course not all fics on there for rezero are in english— big shoutout to all the non english fics on rezero ao3 ur doing great <3 — but the majority are in english). and while yeah ur occasionally gonna find stuff like queer content or side character content or rarepair content, its definitely not that big in amount and also comes with the risk of. Hate. if anyones reading this and remembers the lone star stuff. (if u dont know—lone star was a julius x emilia fic where they NTR subaru or some shit and then it got bombed with hate bc of the ship? yeah.) so yeah english fandom is very cis straight oriented, ironically with the nastiest people being the very people that rezero criticizes. though this is also my personal experience, i do know several people personally whove been in this fandom for a while or were here for a while and yeah english fandom isnt very welcoming at times???? and it seems like at the very least the japanese fandom is A Little Less Aggressive than the english fandom is.
otherwise. yeah im very very curious about more of the differences in popular content between the japanese vs english fandom. i mean the english fandom’s main focus on the female cast for. Interesting Reasons other than their actual character depth is… interesting. and the astreas being popular in general vs otto + ottosubas popularity fluctuating is also very interesting to me (but i have several guesses as to Why that is), among other things. yeah id love to know what else the japanese fandom likes about rezero and see more of their content. i also have to wonder if characters like emilia and subaru are hated less by the japanese fandom…. T^T well that and the english fandom and many english speaking people engaging in rezero have this interesting pattern of either hating subaru No Matter What, wanting subaru to Not Be Subaru (ie using him as a self insert almost or attempting to change him into virtually another character), or putting subaru on a pedestal and ignoring his flaws and mistakes and that he Can do wrong. like theres Really not a lot of nuance there. so i wonder if the japanese fandom is. A Little more chill when it comes to character opinions like this too.
#rezero#tldr: english fandom sets the bar so low (unless ur on rz tumblr) that the japanese fandom def seems a bit better by comparison#in terms of. Calmness levels.#every time i step into a rezero space that isnt tumblr i get a little worried my heads gonna get bitten off by someone HAH#recently someone tried arguing with me over how i interpret otto (this was on reddit) and then said stuff that showed they did Not#understand his character that well so that was awkward 😭😭😭#even just by looking at otto fanart from the japanese fandom it seems like more people understand his character there. in the english fandom#he is. either Not There or his flaws are just handwaved away or replaced with Different flaws#atm hes the most obvious example i can think of when it comes to. how differently characters can be percieved by different parts of a fandom#for rezero. like hes near invisible here but ottosuba being almost on the same level as REINSUBA in jp fanbase is crazy to me#kinda reminds me of the disney’s duffy and friends line and how it failed in the us but its SUPER popular in asia. really fascinating#and also yeah some of the english fandom seems. more loudly misogynistic and homophobic which is very unfortunate#also im sorry ill never forgive that random person on reddit i just said one (1) thing on otto and they came for my throat like fr 😭😭😭#ask#i do wonder why reinsuba is so popular but thats probs bc reinhards well loved too and also hes op. which is a bonus for the english fandom#bc theyre into all the power scaling stuff. and also reinhard gets the other bonus of being a guy and he isnt shafted by canon. hes treated#very sympathetically which is another bonus akdnsn#i say this as a reinhard fan btw but as an emilia fan im also crying bc theyre SO SIMILAR and yet why do people hate emilia….#but u know. reins a guy and we havent got his pov yet so there isnt much to hate.
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daz4i · 7 months
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please please please share dazai fear analysis 🤲
hehe well i'm not gonna get too in depth (mostly bc my brain isn't at 100% atm) but a short version bc i don't wanna leave you hanging,
i'm basing this on no longer human and yozo, like most of my dazai analysis hehe. in nlh he talks often about how painfully afraid he is of p much everything, because he doesn't understand people, and he doesn't want to get caught if he does anything wrong, too afraid to say no because he doesn't know how the other person will react, etc
i think. if you apply this reading to bsd dazai, a lot of his behavior makes sense, as well as adds depth to him and his more questionable actions
a p obvious example: the whole meursault arc, i think he is genuinely afraid to die, because he knows if he does then fyodor will come out on top and hurt his loved ones, destroy the whole world even. clearly, he is afraid of losing the people dear to him (but that's a very normal reaction lbr lol)
a general example: his constant acting like everything is fine to hide his real emotions - which, during his early mafia days, took form in looking blank and emotionless - can be a fear response of not knowing how other people will react to his true feelings, either due to past trauma where his emotions were dismissed or he got hurt for expressing them, or imo, more likely, due to a lack of understanding other people and not quite knowing what'll tick them off
(which might sound silly, bc he purposely ticks people off and looks to annoy people. but, this is a way to have control over the situation. that if the other person gets mad at him, he clearly knows why, he knows what he did to cause this, so this is like a precautionary measure to make sure he's not caught off guard. his fear isn't quite of their anger, or even getting hurt by their anger, but rather a lack of control or understanding of the situation)
a possibly controversial example: the way he acted with akutagawa during the dark era. i think, if you look at his actions as "basically a kid who is afraid to see this kid he found get hurt in combat, so he tries to make him stronger no matter what, and in the meantime is afraid to get attached in case the other kid does die so he tries to distance himself from him emotionally" it ofc doesn't excuse his actions, but imo, makes them. a bit more understandable, in a way. at least enough to somewhat empathize with him more
[this might be a slight side tangent but i have this hc i firmly believe in, that dazai caused ryuu's lung disease by injuring him somehow (given how he doesn't have it in the beast universe), and one of the reasons he's more gentle with atsushi is because he's afraid to hurt him too. not the main reason, but i do think it may add some depth here]
i do think he eased up after being in the ada for awhile - life became mostly predictable, nothing he couldn't handle - but. things changed, and now he's on edge again (turning you to story's lovely analysis that i keep referencing in a lot of my own dazai analysis bc it's so so good). fyodor coming back into his life certainly didn't help, either
now. since i can't not bring up his relationship with chuuya. i do think he has an easier time trusting chuuya because he knows he can handle himself. he doesn't feel the need to control him - always leaving him a choice in their plans - because he's not afraid of what could happen to him, he knows chuuya will be fine. also, their relationship started in such an awful way he doesn't need to hide his emotions around him :P this is why i think he has an easier time being with chuuya really, he's a momentary break from being in constant fear. this might also be why he's so obnoxious when chuuya's around lmao (idk how much of this is actual analysis rather than "if you read them this way it adds a nice depth" so feel free to take this part with a grain of salt, i will always be the first to admit i'm not the best at reading skk hehe)
and while i didn't finish sb yet he does seem to be. really afraid in a lot of the scenes he's in, from what i read so far askjdfg bc now chuuya is in real danger! in a way he can't predict! this hasn't happened yet! (but i could ofc bc very wrong abt that lol)
(also i gotta say. i think this is what odasaku was for him too - ofc in addition to other things - bc he knows odasaku wouldn't hurt him or react in a bad way even if he did anything outrageous. and that's in part what made his rejection in beast so devastating for him, bc it shakes up one of the only safe things in his life)
i'd say, dazai's fear isn't paralyzing, at least not for more than a second a time. it makes him active, makes him overthink, over-analyze, over-prepare. and at the same time, he does it mostly from behind the scenes, through nudging and subtle encouragements, because he may possibly fear that if he went at it with full force, the people he already got attached to will reject him (bc at his core, i think he doesn't want to be alone, but that's a topic for another time). but more importantly - that he will become like fyodor, or like mori, who see people as disposable if it helps them further their goals
^now this is more of his current self, at least. i'd argue mafia!dazai's fears were different, more of a direct fear from people and how they might hurt him, so it's best for him to go along with what they say. and, a fear of a lack of meaning. he does constantly look for a reason to live, and that may come from a fear that his existence is truly meaningless (and while for most people this fear may express itself as fearing death as well, in dazai's case it's his suicidal tendencies. kind of like proving his fear is real, the way a kid might look at the monster they think is scary to convince themselves it can't hurt them. he will die and prove his existence WAS meaningless, but that idea can't actually hurt him at the end of the day if he chooses it. idk if this analogy makes sense to anyone but me tho lmao sorry)
i. don't know how clear this is. i may have lost the plot there at some point. again let me clarify this is obviously not a "this is how dazai is and any other reading is wrong" but more like "if you apply this reading it changes the context of his characters and explains his behavior and how i personally see him". also a lot of projection 👍 ajsdfghj feel free to see it as just a thought experiment if it doesn't quite fit your perception of him :)!
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bcbdrums · 1 year
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Rewatching the show atm, I never really realized how shitty Kim can be to Ron sometimes. She locked him in a closet in "Crush" to go to a dance with Josh (even though it was Ron who gave her the courage to ask him out), lied and ditched him on Halloween for Josh again, signed him up to work at Bueno Nacho without asking him then got mad when he does better then her at the job(this seems to happen whenever he's better then her at anything, it's like she can't fathom him being good at things). I sometimes get the feeling she takes him for granted.
I'm not saying Ron is some saint, he's lied many times,stolen from her, ditched her when he got popular, etc but at the end of most of those episodes, he would learn a lesson or his behavior was called out, either by Kim or someone else, alot of Kims actions are never called out and she rarely learns from them. I've seen your HC for Post series(Kimron go to separate schools and they both grow individually), what exactly do you think they both need to improve on, and do my complaints about Kim factor into it or all?
Great questions, Anon. I'll start by saying that all the examples you gave of Kim treating Ron poorly were from the first season of the show. Looking at it externally, we can say the writers were still figuring out the characters and their dynamic. Internally, I think to think that Kim was younger then and in that awkward stage where she wasn't quite sure how she thought of Ron... Still just best friend, or boyfriend material? And lashing out were ways an entitled teen girl displayed that at times.
As the series goes on, yes she's surprised by things he's good at at times, and sometimes it's justified (Naked Genius) but most of the time it seems to me that it's just...occasions where their interests diverge. Cooking as an example. Part of her surprise I think comes naturally from her having known Ron her entire life. And as he demonstrates new abilities she's unaware of, some of it just because...she may think she should know this already, or she knows it can't possibly be...she finds it hard to believe.  But we see in the show that they do indeed have other friends and other interests, and they don't know every single thing about each other. So Kim being surprised at a few of his abilities is justified in that way.  If you remove the world-saving, it’s actually a good picture of a healthy, stable best-friendship.
I find that the longer the show goes on, the better she treats him. It really was just sometimes in season one, and part of it comes from her entitled personality and overall a semi-conscious thinking that she's better than him. Not as a human, but just...better at stuff.  She’s used to him being not so good at stuff.  Like, you’d think either he or his parents would have thought to get him a belt long before Kim bought him one for their half-aversary...  Only other obvious instance of her treating him poorly would be Clean Slate where she won’t believe he’s her boyfriend.  And then her “I think I love you” was so...not her.  And that will relate to things I talk about later.
Moving on to the second part of your question, them going to separate schools and needing to improve individually so they can be their best selves for each other...  Well, Ron needs to man up.  In such a way that if Kim were permanently gone from his life, he’d still be okay.  I think that despite the health of their friendship there’s still a strong co-dependency there because they have never had to go it alone.  He needs to find that part of himself that can do life without Kim, plain and simple.  He has skills, interests, curiosities...  He just needs to let her go in order to best be there for her later, if that makes sense.  He can’t be his best self if he’s always the side-kick, and if he thinks it’s all for her in the end.  He needs to be Ron for Ron, and in that way he can be the best whatever for Kim in the future.  And I think he’ll be fine, actually.  He’s had to live a largely independent life already, with his parents being seemingly absent a lot and lacking relationship with him (”this is our way of telling you”).  He’s not used to having it all together.  He’s used to the side-kick role, and thus is more prepared to face life on his own.
With Kim it’s deeper, and no your complaints about her don’t really fit into it.  It’s two-fold, starting with the fact she’s always had everything handed to her.  And I don’t mean this in a...’down with wealthy people,’ sort of way.  But I do mean she’s never had to work her way up from the bottom, doesn’t know what it’s like to be there...  Even with saving the world, Wade has everything ready for her.  She doesn’t know what it’s like to lose, to come in second place...  Not in anything that actually matters, at least.  It would be great for her to go to a college where no one knows the name Kim Possible.  To just be one of the crowd.  To not stand out in the slightest, to have to work just as hard as everyone else with all the same expectations.  No ‘get out of school free card’ because she’s off saving the world from a comical villain.  Actually failing classes perhaps since she’s never in class.  Losing sleep.  Just being an average human.
And with that, there’s her whole identity thing, which I thought was a good thing about the live-action movie.  They honed in on the fact that without saving the world, who is she?  Well, in the cartoon...that’s all she is.  Cheerleader?  That fades.  Even if she cheers in college, it’s not gonna be her profession..  Babysitter?  Nope, not an identity nor profession she’d want.  What Ron has going for him is that he knows who he is even though too much of himself is rooted in co-dependency on Kim.  Kim...doesn’t have anything else.  The show teased the idea of her going to an overseas college, or in Job Unfair she was interested in international diplomacy.  But really...those were just things they tossed in to give her a direction, but is it who she really is?  It doesn’t come across that way when it’s just thrown in like that.  Do we think action-oriented, thinks-she-knows-everything Kim is going to sit at a desk in a suit doing what that sort of job actually entails for the rest of her life?  Um, no.  So she has to let go of the co-dependency on Ron and actually find out who she is when she isn’t saving the world.  She needs to be an average person.  The overlooked.  The side-kick.
It feels like with the way they had her character not really develop, she’s got two choices:  join Global Justice and get paid to do what she already does, but with severe limitations.  Or else she’s in for a very early mid-life crisis since she has rooted her entire childhood in the mantra of “I can do anything” which privilege and wealth, along with skill and intelligence, allowed her to do.
Is it great that her parents could offer her so many opportunities?  Yes.  But they never showed her any hardship.  She also never really had relational hardships.  Most popular girl in school, has a couple of besties, and the frenemies thing with Bonnie wasn’t that deep.  This is an instance where I think kicking the kid out the door at age eighteen would be good.  Give her a dose of the real world with no Wade or rich family to bail her out, and no Ron to be that anchor to a life without real responsibility.  She needs to stop saving the world for awhile, honestly.  She’s got to explore interests besides boys and shopping, and discover what it’s like to be a human.  Which is what makes me circle back to “I think I love you.”  Kim in her amnesia state?  Is still the ‘too cool to date nerds’ cheerleader personality.  When it comes down to it, part of “I can do anything” also means “I’m better than everyone” and I don’t think she even realizes this consciously.  That’s something else she’s gotta work past.
I know this post is now probably going to offend everyone who worships Kim.  Don’t get me wrong, I love her too.  I just recognize that she’s a kid with a lot of room for growth.  And I guess I don’t see that growth happening easily.  This is probably why I haven’t really been interested in writing fic for Kim?  While character growth piques my interest, it’s more work in her case than I’m interested in doing.  She was just too shallow of a character.  Ron, on the other hand...  I could see myself writing an epic or two about him.
Hope I articulated well enough, and hope this answers your questions!
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itlivesproject · 1 year
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Delusional theory at 5 am when I should be asleep let’s goooooo:
{Spoilers below: }
• Gunnor theory : I personally believe that Connor has been turning to whatever he was since the end of part 1 and now he’s facing the consequences. Also, like where did the cop get the idea that Connor was behind the disappearance huh ???? I wonder if it it was not-Annie or whoever pulling the strings
• Matthias is sus theory : I personally don’t trust Matthias, he has been sus. I feel like he’s telling the MC whatever they wanted. Like the cookie cutter “you’re not a monster speech”. I think he’s saying those things so he could manipulate the MC, whether it’s intentional or not. Like maybe the power is finally getting to him and corrupting him to do what it wants. Maybe by twisting it to a logic he can abide. Like that is IF he’s LJ but what if he’s not. What if he’s taking LJ’s form? What if he’s lying so it’s easier to get to his victims? What if Loha is the original LJ’s wife? (They could have fallen in love) and his brother murdered both him and Loha so he could get double the power? What if he is LJ’s brother ? But the more sinister theory is that what if LJ murdered his brother and Loha and pretending that his brother did it? By luring him somewhere where the power could corrupt his decisions. Like the letter in the lore doc proves that he was regretting the action just like the poor woman who killed her wife. Also, I feel like Matthias has something to do with Linc’s mom death. What if she’s supposed to be the anchor ? But something went wrong and MC became the anchor instead? Like we don’t know why she was murdered in the first place. Plus he lived for a long while he might not care about people too much after what he’s seen…….
• Rowan is still Rowan, yea I’m in denial shut up :
Rowan is still alive. I have this theory due to what happens to redfield MC/Noah. From what we’ve seen in this chapter there’s a lot of possibilities for this theory to be 20% correct. One is that whoever isn’t redfield atm commented how it feels like they’re a copy of themselves despite their souls fusing. And two, memory gaps / loss. From what I’ve seen MC has huge gaps in their memory (like forgetting Amalia’s strawberry allergies and lemon drops are just the most obvious example). And I think that MC is fused with the Power like how ilitw MC/Noah are revived. MC was caught in the anchor ceremony and *suprise* MC doesn’t want to die. The power, wants to be human. By fusing with each other it becomes a beneficial relationship in which MC gets to be alive while power MC gets to be human. Annie still referring to MC as their older sibling in the seance should be a big ass clue. And like, whatever redfield should be a big clue too. They’re both the power and MC. And Not-Annie is there to corrupt the MC to fuse with them. Like Who’s to say those disturbing dreams aren’t coming from ya know … not -Annie?
Anyways I need to sleep goodbye
Wake up guys, it’s theory time 😎
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binniesthighs · 3 years
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multifandom soulmate aus ✨
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soulmate (n): a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.
✨ a/n: hello hello!! today on, “Ro’s self indulgent fics” ehehe i’ve been thinking a lot about some of my favorite kpop besties and how i feel like sometimes in a group, there’s the members who just stick like glue and it’s kinda like they were destined to meet that way! anyway hehe this concept is so fkn cute to me so i wanted to make some poly r-ship headcannons with some of my favorites! 
➛ disclaimer: the pairings that i use are def not all inclusive of all “soulmate” pairings out there, just the ones i know of atm! also, i know some of these groups better than others, so some will be more specific, and others a little more general! 
✨ groups included: stray kids, ateez, the boyz, monsta x, seventeen, txt, bts 
✨ feedback is always appreciated! who’s your favorite?✨
➛maybe if we’re feelin’ spicy i can do a part 2 with the ones i haven’t done yet ;) 
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Pairing: idol x female reader x idol (see fandoms above!) 
Genre: fluff n’ smut
Tags: established r/ship au, poly r-ship, sexual content (the usual stuff also including unprotected sex-please stay safe!) comfort ahhh, mentions of food alcohol  
*all photocreds go to ops :) 
both sfw and nsfw under the snip snip! 
♡ chanlix ♡
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sfw
omg where the hell do i start with chanlix we love our cannon soulmates 
arguably the softest fkn pairing on this list; being soulmates with chanlix is like meeting your other halves (thirds?). there’s some serious destiny at work here!! 
the three of you understand each other on a spiritual level--almost to the point where you could likely read their minds if you wanted to try haha. there’s also a really, really strong type of emotional intimacy that you share with them that’s out of this world. 
this soulmate bond is so fkn strong, the three of you could go through any hardships and come out of it stronger than ever! 
the three of you have cute lil nicknames for eachother that you thought up yourselves! 
 your families are close as heck! it’s really pure how by the three of you so many people can get close ahhh 
i think that chanlix would be really into more outdoorsy dates? camping, swimming, hiking, sightseeing, stargazing, picnics etc! felix also loves taking you on food tours! 
bc chan is chan, he really takes on such a protective role over you and felix, he would quite literally do anything for you two: forgot your notebook or documents on the way to work/school? he’ll drop everything to bring them to you. sad? he’ll get you your favorite food, tons of blankets, his hoodie to wear and your favorite movie/tv show to watch with you! if anyone hurts your feelings too he will square tf up. 
felix is the world’s most adoring boyfriend in so, so many ways. not only is he such a cuddle bug, he shows you that he cares with tons of acts of service similar to chan! this comes in the form of his baking of course and other silly little gifts he sees that reminds you of him. he isn’t the best at words sometimes, but will soothe you by giving you a little massage or by playing with your hair! 
nsfw 
okay...😏 damn i’ve been wanting to write some poly chanlix so fkn bad ahhhh 
once again i really see chan taking the lead in more intimate situations. he really likes giving directions and seeing both you and felix carry them out! honestly he gets a bit of an ego boost seeing the both of you all whiny and fucked out ahhh 
here i come with my softsub!felix agenda oops hehe but this boy is frickin’ angelic for you and chan oml, he always asks for permission before he does things and eats praise up with a fkn spoon. praises alone really get him off: “does lixie like it when i play with his cute cock like this?” 
there’s something that gets the three of you ridiculously amped when you do all kinds of roleplay scenarios FRICK some favorites are pet play (you and lix being the kitties) teacher/student, roleplaying strangers, sex slaves, artist/muse, oh my god there was a halloween where you once did vampire roleplay you still think about it 🤤 
since the three of you are so comfortable with eachother, experimentation feels really safe! for example, the suggestion of shibari came up and now....let’s just say lix looks really pretty tied up ;) 
chan’s got a huuuuge (cock) and size kink!! he really likes topping both you and lix and seeing a bulge omg.... also when he can bulge your throats mmmhm! 
felix loves it especially when you ride his face, and he cold do it for hours! he looks so cute between your legs when he licks over and over your clit. he’ll ask you too if he’s doing good and you better say yes ;) 
favorite position would be all cuddled up and cozy with the two of them double penetrating you real nice and slow with tons of kisses and just touchin’ all over 
cockwarming cockwarming all day, every single time, without fail, it feels wrong if you finish without it! 
♡ woosan  ♡
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sfw 
idk why but the first thing that comes to my mind is that in certain settings, ya’ll are loud as fuck AHA i guess what i mean to say as that as a trio, you are all super, super unapologetic and confident when around each other! this might have lead to you getting kicked out of a couple bowling alleys and karaoke places before... 
there’s a type of unspoken understanding that the three of you have that makes your bond so special. while you love eachother so dearly, it isn’t something that you really feel needs to be said out loud, it kind of just is! 
woosan are already really clingy on their own and when you come along?? you all can’t keep your hands off each other!! ya know how in movies there’s the whole “hand in the back pocket of your jeans???” woosan!! 
their energy together is so fkn chaotic but that's why you love them! they never fail to make you laugh and this is also the best way that they know how to cheer you up! 
Bc the three of you are a bit unbridled, it’s a bit hard to be serious at times when you go on dates/hang out with friends together so often you get some affectionate eye rolls haha 
wooyoung is someone that will try anything with you! hehe even if he knows that he mind not be that into it, he’ll still go with you! of course, he might say something snarky but he really does love just spending time with you! wooyoung also shares you with all his friends (changbin, yeonjun) so lowkey it feels like you’re one of the bros at times LOL 
san is a big fan of giving you gifts! oh also! words of affirmation too, san is someone who knows your insecurities well, so hypes you tf up all the time!! he especially loves buying things for you that he knows you’ll look pretty in just so he can compliment you ahhh 
at the end of the day however, there’s nothing more more that the three of you love than the tightest cuddles ever as you fall asleep! honestly, sometimes its a little too tight haha 
nsfw 
THESE BOYS FKN RAVISH YOU LIKE YOU’RE A FIVE COURSE MEAL 
and of course they expect the same from you as well! i mean....can you blame them??? these boys are sexy as hell and they frickin’ know it!! 
i have this super clear image of both of them stripping you down and rubbing massage oil all over your body and then giving you the turn to do it to them my lord...
sort of along this line, temperature play makes these boys feral. wax, ice, blowies with popsicles you name it 
both of them really just like being touched all over because they have the prettiest dancer’s bodies and just feeling hands on their muscles makes them loose it. 
wooyoung loves to mark the hell out the both of you in a really territorial way: all over your chests and necks even on your thighssss 
san, while he often does find himself in sub space, really easily can switch to dom you in the most beautiful way. everything with him is really intimate and raw: if this wasn’t already obvious haha he would like have a hand kink and loves seeing the way that his fingers look pumping in and out of your entrance and how your juices look as well. 
back too wooyoung, he’s the king of oral. whether it’s going down on you and sucking at your clit or deep throating with master level skill...foreplay is never boring with him! 
in my brain, i can see the both of them filling nearly position so this makes for an interesting dynamic to say the least AHA 
every once and a while, they’ll let you take complete control of the both of them while they just sit back and watch you with the most smug-ass grins that you’ll see in your life! 
AH another thought: woosan fkn love when you squirt on them, in any way this might look: when you’re nearly screaming in your overstimulation they want it all over them. 
favorite position would be 69 threesome style with all of your sloppy moans in-between <3 
♡  moonbae  ♡
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HEAR ME OUT the king of soulmates that know that they are soulmates but don’t take it seriously in the slightest istg this is my most favorite dynamic ahhhh 
there is not one dull day with these two boys, they’ll have you laughing in stiches until you can barely breathe like, the best kind of wheezy, silent laughter ya know what i’m talking about 
INSIDE JOKES literally so many inside jokes with the three of you 
Kevin is never scared to call your ass out, but that’s bc he knows you so well!! it’s all just jokes don’t ya worry ;) 
Along this line, your groupchat like has some random-ass name that’s also an inside joke
Jacob on the other hand is the biggest sweetheart when it comes to you, boy frickin’ melts. There is not a day that goes by when he hasn’t told you he loves ya morning and night. 
Also the best listener in the whole world, you can tell him anything and everything and he’s just sit and listen and give advice. 
Kevin loves you a ton a ton but just shows it differently! He remembers all the little things about you that you tell him to the point it’s scary how he does it so well 
Meme king Kevin would send you memes that remind him of you and Jacob
Lowkey i can see the both of them getting into the cutest petty arguments like which one of them you love more or think is more talented AHA again it’s all in good fun hehe 
it goes without saying but...it’s cuddle central up in here. 
THEY WOULD SERENADE TF OUT OF YOU oh my god it’s literally heavenly, Kevin would play piano and Jacob would play guitar FRICK 
You have oddly specific dates?? Like they would pick a movie to go see that the three of you would all hate just to meme the whole time. Jacob would still get invested accidentally tho. 
The way to both of these boy’s hearts is their stomachs so when you cook for them they would quite literally do anything for you 
nsfw 
ok ok so i’m a baby deobi so this is the gist of what i’m getting (i also did a little research LOL thank you @ deobi smutblr hehe) 
firstly i would like to say that i’m manifesting thigh riding with Jacob and i literally can’t think of anything else for some reason just p h e w and BOY does he love it too he thinks its so fkn cute to watch you! 
i get heavy, heavy switch vibes from Kevin with maybe some sub leanings??? either way, jacob def has soft dom vibes (oh god and occasional soft sub) to me but also has no problem with you taking control and doing what you like to him if that’s what you desire! 
kevin is impatient impatient and does not do well with your teasing. also...loud as hell, like, sometimes you have to tell him that he needs to calm tf down hehe (but of course you love it when he gets like that) 
separately, both of them are very different experiences i think: kevin is a fan of hard and fast, kitchen counter over the sofa type stuff sloppy toppy in risky places, and he loves to experiment too! 
jacob is also really different where he likes much, much more slow and intimate stuff like missionary, shower sex, real atmospheric stuff like candles and nice scents ahhh BIG fan of really fluffy pet names too like baby, princess, angel etc. super visual too omggg gets hard when you strip for him i think ;) 
together it’s a fkn whirlwind i’ll tell ya that. its like, honestly the most unique experience i can think of on this list because the two of them are so different. i will say that it can end up being really giggly and sweet tho! 
when it’s the three of you, kevin’s dom side comes out a little more so you’re left with these two lovely boys who want to give you all the attention! it’s lowkey a competition lol 
favorite position is when you’re sucking jacob off and kevin gets to do literally whatever the hell he wants with your pussy...i imagine that it might have to do a lot with edging if you ask me ;) 
♡ jookyun  ♡ 
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sfw
oddly, i find myself soft af for jookyun and idk how to describe it haha (considering that they can often be hard as hellll) 
the three of you are also really nonchalant, but this is really in the way that you just feel as if you’ve known eachother for a really long time! 
as we know, jookyun were a bit of an enimies to lovers arc (AHA) so with the time that they’ve spent building their bond, it’s strong asf! 
i like to think that jooheon and changkyun would really get a ton of artistic inspiration from you for their music. since both of them write and often reflect bc of this, you’re totally their muse! (they’ll write some nasty as hell lyrics thanks to you too LOL) 
while our lovely thicc mx boys have unbridled confidence at times, really, they are babie. and they are frickin weak for your pampering. 
because of this, the two of them would become flustered as all hell when you do lil things for them!! this could be making them some lunch or just giving them the off compliment that they look a lil extra handsome that day. 
your safe place is with them!! ahhh i would also like to add the number of slick ass grabs when you’re in public is a bit off the chain at times ahah 
the duality of this r/ship is really something to note LOL when you go out and about when the two of them you certainly get some stares bc they look a lil intimidating at times but when you and your boyfriends cuddle up on the subway you give all passerby's whiplash haahah
Kyun is someone who is insanely romantic. almost to the point that it is cheesy haha he’d treat the both of you to expensive ass dinners, beach vacations and maybe even matching couple’s jewelry like rings or bracelets! 
jooheon on the other hand is a little more toned down haha but has another side to him that fkn swells with pride knowing how breathtaking you both are...frankly, his ego skyrockets knowing that he’s got you both for arm candy if this make sense teehee 
the three of you call eachother “babe” interchangeably, so it can get a bit confusing when you’re all in the same place and someone says “hey babe?” you need a new nickname ooP 
nsfw 
hello and here i am to push the sub!changkyun agenda. first and foremost i would like to explain how this man is such a pillow princess with the most lovely bratty edge *sighs* all that kyun wants is for you to fkn use him and do literally whatever the hell you want!! this man daydreams about you riding him right then and there wherever the hell he is. 
also, kyun is the king of toys, both using them on you and on himself! need i also say breath play as well in the same giving and receiving form? more than anything he loves it when jooheon wraps his hand around his neck hooooly ahhh he prefers it when you tease his tip with a vibrator until he’s angrily red and begging for you to give him a break just for you to bend down and give a kiss to his pearly head which makes him jolt 
jooheon is often more of a soft to hard dom if you ask me and takes care of both you and kyun really well. also... he will manhandle the hell out of you if you feel up for it (cough cough your arm kink for him ) oh shit and his thighs....don't’ even get me started 
while the three of you often opt for the hard and fast (even in some more risque places--such as in the recoding studio) there are really some more intimate times that you share too! 
on one of changkyun’s vacations, in the middle of the night, when no one was in sight and the hot tub was free for use...it started out as a bit of making out but then turned into something else when you decided to straddle jooheon and he let his hands creep under the straps of your swimsuit...needless to say you were bouncing on both of their dicks while you were warmed by the crackling bubbles 
at times, jookyun can get a little needy and impatient without you, so this has lead to a couple situations where you walk in on them letting out their frustrations ;) of course, immediately then they’d love for you to join! 
kyun has an oral fixation too, sooo he may or may not love cockwarming with his mouth or sucking your fingers lightly when you go to suck his dick~ 
♡  junhao  ♡
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sfw
here me out with this one...but...there’s something really intimate about this relationship?? oh how to put this into words LOL junhao also have an insanely deep bond that really transcends if ya ask me haha 
while they both can be really goofy around eachother when comfortable the soulmate vibes are just...immaculate! this is all i can say? all three of you are just so connected in the way that you accept each other for all that you are and just kind of naturally gravitate towards each other even before you really knew that there were romantic feelings involved! 
first, i would like to say that out of all the pairings on this list, you three are classy as FUCK. seeing the three of you next to eachother is like seeing literally three models in the flesh. the way that you dress (sometimes even to match a little) is unbelievable bc you all just look so good? 
hand holdingggg wherever you go! holding hands across cafe tables, playing with each other’s hands absentmindedly hehe 
TRAVEL BUDDIES you would go anywhere with them and take tons of pics!! i mean the prettiest pics 
hao shows his love for you in the form of so many things, all of which he makes himself!! you inspire his physical art and drawings which he shares with you and he also loves to take clothes too and personalize them for you! 
jun on the other hand would take you to the studioooo and you could watch him danceee oh my gosh he’s literally so breathtaking and he would be dancing just for you with every curve of his body he’s so magical :’) then he’d ask you for feedback and you’d just be speachless...also loves to make you smile!! just being his goofy self he’s the best at it and thinks you’re so cute! 
there’s a ton of adoration in this relationship! tons of cute little displays of skinship that might look like a poke in the cheek or the fluffing of their hair ahh 
still, i feel like you would have kind of silly little nicknames for them that match their personalities and perhaps...you could have matching phone cases with these nicknames.... 
in this relationship there’s a ton of quiet moments that are really peaceful and indulgent such as watching sunsets, drinking wine together, just talking about life n stuff like that! 
nsfw 
hellz yeah we’re in for some more intimate-ass fuckin! but also....😏
this boys are kinky as shit but in like a really classy ass way lolll this is so hard to put into words. 
well, i’ll start with junhui catboy agenda so there’s that hehehe he would most def be into pet play: that could be like ears or pretty collars and of course calling you (or him) kitten. 
minghao is really versatile and doesn’t really like labels of dom and sub, he just does what he wants and what feels good to him! bc we’re talking about how intimate everything is, the kind of sex that you share with them is often never rushed but really purposeful and even planned sometimes! 
i also see there being TONS of sensory items that would come into play with junhao such as flowers, fragrances, aphrodisiacs, all kinds of fabrics for sensory deprovision such as velvet, silk, hemp rope, and so much more! 
BOTH OF THEM WOULD SOUND ANGELLIC i see hao as letting out really pretty soft moans that kind of trail on his tongue and jun sort of choking out gasps with a bit of a rasp to them when they cum or they feel turned on
oh god MIRROR SEX that's what i have to say about this 
it doesn’t happen often, but sometimes when any one of you would be feeling needy or pent up they can certainly do hard and fast with you between the two of them. especially when this happens, oh my god hao loves it when you moan really breathily into his mouth when you’re pressed against him ooooh shit 
and jun loves it when you bite into his shoulder too when he fucks you it just makes him feral 
actually, i could really see the three of you recording yourselves, or even taking pictures when you have more intimate moments to look at later, just for your own enjoyment or to get off when you’re without the others 
favorite position: hmmm mirror sex with you on top of minghao literally just kissing him and marking his body as jun eats you out until you’re dripping down to minghao’s cock which he jerks off too~ 
♡  yeonbin  ♡
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sfw 
DON’T TOUCH ME IM SOFT  
admittedly i don’t know too much about this pairing but i do know a lil so i wanted to add them!! i also did a lil research hehe 
FIRST i would like to say that the three of you would without a doubt have the cutest puppy together, if not one, then two!! they would be little dogs with perfect haircuts and likely have their own instagram account which the three of you would run! they’d be instragram famous of course 
LITERALLY EVERY DAY ITS A FIGHT OVER WHOS CUTEST i kid you not this is an ongoing battle you’re all just...so weak for the other ahaha 
being in a relationship with them is like being in a relationship with your bestfriends! 
dates with the two of them can really range all over the place bc you just like having fun together! movie dates, breakfast dates, ZOO OR AQUARIUM DATES, taking little trips to places you haven’t been before or stay at home dates like having a little indoor picnic! 
soobin is really low energy, and would often opt to hang out with you at home or at a cafe while the two of you do your thing together! he lovessss when you bake or cook for him, literally whatever it is he’ll eat it! 
his smile is instant serotonin and the reason why you fell in love with him! the two of them together all smiley is your lockscreen! 
yeonjunie prefers going out with you clothes shopping and would DEF enable you to dye your hair a color that you’ve always been dying to do! he also loves showing you new music and blushes like heck when you tell him that you like the songs that he picks! 
in their own playful ways too, they’d always call you out on your bs LOLL but they just wanna motivate you! they’re your biggest cheerleaders! 
Deep down though, both of them are quite cheesy and would love to shower you with alll the stereotypical romance that you can take even if it makes all three of you cringe ahahah 
nsfw
NEEEEDY and literally so mf horny on the dl like it’s comical to how soft and shy they can be in real life situations 
oh my god this is a godly thought but i see both of them being both switchy as heck but not really bc they like how it feels to be in those different postions but literally....bc no matter what it is they are getting off lolll 
i see both of them having sub leanings but can get real bratty if they’re feeling it. 
yeonjun does have a dom side to him that just comes with his general confidence that he gets around you! when either of you beg from him he’s ready to let himself loose. 
im so sorry but they literally handed pet play to me on a silver platter with cat & dog and there is no going back for me. SO you’re in for puppy, kitty and bunny play (shhhh yeonjun’s got his fox ears too) 
WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT HOW ALL OF YOU WOULD LIKE THIGH HIGHS
both of them love being edged to high hell by you...no matter if it hurts...they kinda like it? 
at the same time, both of your boyfriends also love giving you all the attention at times too! i’m talking about one of them playing with your breasts while the other trails kisses down your body all the way down to your pussy aching for attention too
FUCK this might be just me but soobin eating you out>>>> a GODLY sight. 
i have this other fantasy of yeonjun with either lip piercings or nipple piercings or even a dick piercing someone plz tell me to calm down 
oh please...bubble bath with the two of them holy shit baby pink bubbles all around you while you take turns givin’ each other cute kisses ahhhh 
one more thing to the pile here would be hella mutual masturbation soo much of it. the three of you get off just simply watching eachother too and dirty talking how much you love the way the others look with hands rubbing themselves away with cute whiny moans~ 
♡ taekook ♡
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omg! this is my first time remotely talking about bts on my blog hehe this is so exciting!! i don’t really read too much bts ff so this is going off of my own perception! 
i just wanna say....there’s so much to unpack here LOL but like many of the soulmates on this list, these boys are ~whipped~ for you and eachother!! its so stinkin’ cute 
another thing about these expensive boyfriends is that they loooove to sing for you too! they’d sing you to sleep, when you’re sick, sad, or just had a hard day allllways hehe 
the three of you have sickeningly adorable nicknames for eachother, the kind that honestly make heads turn LOL 
jk would without a doubt get tattoos with you!! and wine drunk lollll he’s also a huge enabler so if there’s anything that you’re considering buying or doing he’d hype you up so bad you barely have to think twice heheh 
kinda like junhao they’d also make amazing travel buddies but less for the aesthetic, but for the luxury. you’d stay at amazing hotels and eat at Michelin star restaurants wearing luxury brands that they bought for you
i feel like this goes without saying, buuuut in this r/ship, its alll about the adoring glances from afar or even just right next to you bc they love you so much!! 
i also get a very protective vibe from them as well, you’re very special to them, and they never wanna see you in harms way or disrespected by anyone! this could even look like having their arm around you on the bus or on the small of your back in a crowd 
together, they’re the biggest jokesters and flirty as HELL they think that it’s so funny when they flirt out in public AGRESSIVELY just to make you a lil embarrassed hehe  
forehead kissessss and kisses on the back of your hand! 
nsfw 
luxurious in this area tooooo 
they would rent out the penthouse or presidential suite to make an evening for you and pull out all the stops: expensive champagne, lingerie selected just for you, a breathtaking view of the city ahhhh 
ya all know how much i love my soft and intimateeee body touching and there would be plenty of this! they take their time undressing you and eachother and would plant kisses into the nape of your neck and shoulders as you do so! 
i would like to contribute to this conversation sub!jk bc this is something that ahhhhh i really like to think about as well as soft dom tae bcccc why not heheh 
these boys are utterly gorgeous under soft lighting and prowling all over your body too tho ahhh 
BUT! imagine teasing the hell out of jk, barely letting him feel your mouth besides fleeting kisses while tae drives his hips into you from behindddd 
in fact, these boys actually don’t mind a little voyeurism with the wide windows in your suite, opting to leave them open so there's a bit of thrill in the way that they fuck you too~ 
tae has a bit of...dare i sayyyy a power kink, so when you call him names such as sir, daddy, master etc oh boy 
jk himself is bit into sensory dep specifically with blindfolds especially when its your hands travelling all around his body making him shiver. 
both of them just looove cuming all over you as well: face, ass, thighs, belly, literally anywhere, they just think that you look amazing like that! 
there are a couple times here and there when the three of you also do a bit of cam work together for other people to watch--although it isn’t often, you rake it in when you do so. the three of you are a perfect fantasy! 
sex also can happen in odd places with you three too since you can just start feeling it and don’t really care ;) strangest place....hmm i’d say when you joined the mile high club with them~ 
~🌹~
Bunch of (Ro)ses! 
@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz  @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @lmhmins @eunaeiekim
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angelsswirl · 3 years
Text
Been Through
Chapter 6: What have I become
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Notes: Sorry these last few posts have been ugly. I'm on mobile atm. But I'll be sure to fix them up on desktop sooner or later.
All that shame and all that danger. I'm hopin' that my love will keep you up tonight.
Things were different with Jennie than they were with Lisa. And sure, that makes sense. They're two different people.
But it went deeper than that.
With Jennie...you were in control, and you were never tricked into losing it. It was one of the reasons your relationship lasted so long in the first place. With Jennie...everything was easy. Palatable, if you will.
Take, right now, for example.
You were sitting in a restaurant with Jennie. She had asked you out the day she stalked you into that bar. Then she had to do it again the next day when you weren't nearly as drunk because you had promptly forgot she asked you anything at all.
You were mildly put off by the fanciness of the restaurant, but that wasn't cutting into the insurmountable control you had over everything that was happening.
You took a sip of your merlot and frowned. You weren't poor by any means of the word, but you definitely preferred boxed wine over the bottled stuff. You think it has less to do with flavor and more to do with practicality. There's just something satisfying about the novelty of having to use a spigot to access your wine, reminds you of using the water fountain in highschool. Or that water dispenser that was in the break room of your boring office job you had in korea right before you met the girls.
So, yes. With Jennie...things were simple and easy and calm and collected and controllable.
And then there was Lisa.
Lisa.
Lisa.
Lisa.
With Lisa...you experienced the very opposite of everything you experienced with Jennie. It replicated the start of your "relationship". A "relationship" that was born out of loneliness and drunken necessity and maybe even a tiny bit of manipulation. With Lisa...everything was hard. Unpalatable, if you will.
Take, four years ago, for example.
You were sitting in a crowded bar with Lisa, drinking soju like it was your lifeblood. She had brought you there after seeing how broken up you were over your and Jennie's break up. You're pretty sure she didn't have any intention of sleeping with you. She just didn't like seeing you sad.
You were extremely put off by your own whilrwind of conflicting emotions and drunkenness. And your control had crumbled like a sandcastle as soon as Lisa put her hand on your lower back to guide you into the bar.
You had slammed a shot of soju and grimaced. To you, that stuff tasted like how rubbing alcohol smelled. Lisa met you shot for shot. You're still astonished to this day how she never got recognized, or at least no one had voiced that they recognized her. You preferred straight up bourbon to soju. You're not sure why, but hey, too each their own. Something about your conflicting emotions and drinking half your body weight in alcohol had caused you to throw yourself into an early heat. It wasn't due for at least another month. And your ability to make good choices had been turned off hours prior. Lisa was right there and ready and willing and what were you supposed to do? Not let her fuck you into the mattress of some hotel? That simply wasn't an option at the time.
So, yes. With Lisa...things were complicated and hard and conflicting and out of hand and uncontrollable. And, oh God do you hate that.
But enough about Lisa. You're own a date with Jennie. So, enjoy your date with Jennie.
~~~
"You know, when my assistant said I had a meeting, I thought he meant with one of my bosses or clients." You said as she sat in your desk chair.
"I am a client." Chaeyoung pouted. Jisoo who was seated next to her nodded in agreement.
"No, you're a friend."
Chaeyoung's face grew mischievous. It was then that you noticed the notepads and ink pens, her and Jisoo were brandishing.
"Speaking of friends...how'd your date go with Jennie?" As if to emphasize what they were doing, the two clicked their pens in sinc.
"Oh no. I'm not talking about that with you too. This was supposed to be a meeting about the book."
"But this is about the book." Jisoo whined.
"How?!"
"We still need to write the happy ending! And this is apart of that."
"Why don't you write about one of your relationships instead of mine?"
"That's not nearly as entertaining." Chaeyoung said as if it was obvious.
"So, what if I told you that after the date she kissed me goodnight and it was so good I couldn't resist bringing her up to my room for some more fun. And then she slept over and we did it all over again in the morning."
Chaeyoung and Jisoo scribbled in their notes frantically.
"Yes! This is great, keep going."
"Oh. I can't."
"What?"
"I just made all that up. None of that happened."
"What the fuck, Y/N?"
"You wanted a story. So, I gave you one."
Jisoo glared at you while Chaeyoung pouted again.
"You're a liar." Jisoo exclaimed. You think she might snap her pen in half with how hard she's gripping it.
You rolled your eyes, "No. I'm not. I was just messing with you."
"You kind of are tho." Chaeyoung said almost as an afterthought.
"What are you talking about?"
"Okay, well maybe you're not a liar, but you do lie. You told me that you didn't know who Lily's other parent was, but I think you at least have an inkling. You want all of us to believe you don't love one of them over the other, but you most definitely do. I can hear it in the inflection in your voice when you talk about them. You want us to believe that this isn't about who you love, that this is about the "better fit", that this isn't about you, but it is. This is about who you're in love with. It's only one of them. You're kind of obvious. This has nothing to do with who's the better fit. You wouldn't have fallen in love with her if she wasn't. This is all about you, Y/N. Not your daughter, at least, not directly. You make decisions on autopilot when it comes to her because you're a mom. It's what moms do. This is about you and how over the last four years, you've convinced yourself that you're unlovable." Chaeyoung shrugged as she finished her monologue.
Jisoo seemed to be mulling over her member's words just as much as you were. You could practically see the conclusion jumping playing on her face.
"Oh my God! You're in love with-"
"Would you shut the flying fuck up?!" You shouted. You brushed your hands over your face harshly.
"So, maybe you're right. Maybe I do have an inkling. I'm her fucking mother of course I have an inkling. I fucking see her everyday. I know her personality. I know her likes and dislikes. And she might look like me, but you she sure as hell doesn't act like me. Yes, I want you to believe all those things. Because that's what makes all of this easier. I've never been more stressed out in my life. Not even while I was pregnant. Or that first year after Lily was born. And yes I feel unlovable. I feel yucky and gross. I feel like a whore. You don't get it. I would sit in my apartment, with my feet propped up on the table dreaming about how I wished I could rub them because they hurt so damn bad. But my giant whale of a stomach was in my way because I was growing a fucking person inside of me. You think I've been single these last four years on purpose? You think I don't want my daughter to have a normal fucking family? NO ONE WANTS TO DATE A SINGLE MOM!...Did they even try to contact me after I left?" You stood from your chair, a mistake because your legs felt like jello. But you remained standing even when you realized your makeup was melting from the warm tears you were pouring over it.
"You blocked their numbers-"
"But I didn't block yours."
Chaeyoung promptly closed her mouth.
"Or Jisoo's."
"Y/N-"
"Nope. Just let me yell at you, there's blood on your hands too," You took a deep shuddering breath before speaking again, "Not. One. Call. From any of you. No one even tried. No one called me, or my mom, or my sisters."
"And I know what you're thinking. I obviously didn't want to be found or contacted. But maybe, just maybe, I needed to be."
"After Lily was born, I got diagnosed with postpartum depression. I would look down at the beautiful baby girl in my arms and feel absolutely nothing. I would be confused as to what I was doing with a child. One day, I'm not sure how, we'll call it "mother's will", I snapped out of it. I went to a therapist and got my life back. It was just her and I agaisnt the world. And I didn't want it to be. It was unfair to Lily to only have to rely on me. I dated anyone I could. Alphas, beta, even other omegas. And nothing stuck. So, excuse me if I feel unlovable. But that's just because I am. And yeah, maybe I am head over ass in love with her, but it doesn't matter. She'll never love me back. You can write all of that in your precious little book." You sat down heavily in you desk chair.
"Y/N-"
"I'm going to get your case transferred to one of my colleagues. I probably shouldn't have taken it in the first place."
"Can we please talk about this?"
"We just did. All of that talking pushed me to another conclusion actually. Not only am I unlovable, I'm simply unobtainable. No one deserves me."
"Come on. That's not true. At least not the first part. You're extremely loveable. You'd know that if you just talk to her. And sure, maybe no one deserves you. But could you at least let her try?" Jisoo spoke with a severe intensity that made your shoulder's tense.
You swallowed a large lump in your throat, "Please, leave."
Chaeyoung rolled her eyes before practically stomping out the room. Jisoo stayed back for a few seconds longer. Only leaving with a shake of her head when she finally realized you really weren't going to listen to anything anyone had to say.
And you? You just cried.
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masteroftheblade · 3 years
Note
What are your favorite and least favorite animes? Why do you like/dislike them?
oh god here we go lmao 🤠👍 prepare for an entire novel as always lol
my favorite animes atm are Naruto, Dragon Ball, Attack on Titan, and Claymore. Overall, my favorite genre of anime is shonen (and in case you dont know what that is, its basically shows that are marketed to young boys. it'll have shit like superpowers and poorly written female characters). My least favorite genre is Shoujo (marketed at young girls). I honestly don't hate the entire genre, I just hate how much romance is in there since im pretty romance-repulsed. If there were more Shoujo series like Claymore, I'd probably be in love w/ it. I'll start talking about these shows individually, starting w/ Naruto.
1. Naruto.
Honestly, the only reason I started watching Naruto was because my friends peer pressured me into doing it, and it actually differed from what I expected it to be story-wise. The beginning of the show started off amazing; it had excellent world building, magic systems, interesting characters, and it attempted to address how messed up the whole shinobi system is. But then Naruto got on the front page of Shonen Jump, and everything went down from there. It started to focus more on cool fight scenes than the actual plot. I wont get too much into that, because you can literally find entire blogs dedicated to dissecting that, but Naruto killed itself w/ its own popularity. That said, I love the characters and world building and I can look past most of its flaws anyway.
Would I recommend reading/watching it? Yes, but only to say you did it for bragging rights. Don't go into watching Naruto if you want deep looks into imperialism and militarized governments, because you will get the complete opposite of that :P Also the best way to watch it is to watch it with friends.
2. Dragon Ball.
I only started watching DB about a month ago, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I think its a garbage series. The fight scenes have little to no weight to them, because no matter what, the protagonist of that episode will always succeed in some way. For example, when Goku (a 12 y/o boy) was fighting Giran (a 10ft tall godzilla man) and was getting his ass beat until Goku just... randomly grows back his tail that was cut off earlier and wins. We are never told why he grew back his tail, and i think he only gets it back so he can have a cool fight scene in a later episode. Goku can literally be battling genocidal gods and he will still always win. The show also goes out of its way to sexualize/show a female character being harrassed. Every. Fucking. Episode.
That said, it is a fun show, and I really enjoy watching it. Like Naruto, I really love the characters and the world they are in, I just hate the way it was handled, and its painfully obvious that DB was made by a bunch of old men in the 80s. Unlike Naruto, however, I really appreciate how simple it is. It doesn't force a narrative about space genocide or whatever being bad, and I'm very thankful because that kind of narrative would be absolutely botched in this kind of series. It's also nice to have a show that doesn't take itself too seriously. Shows like AOT are amazing and important, but those shows can be overwhelming with their heavy subject matter. I would only recommend watching DB if you want to see some really good art/character design. Don't take the show seriously, and you'll have a good time.
3.Attack On Titan.
This anime was actually the first I've ever seen! I saw the very first episode when it aired in 2014, so I'm definetely biased in that regard, but I still try to look at this show in the most objective way I can. This show does almost everything right. The pacing, the characters, the art, the plot, you name it. It takes a concept that looks silly on paper and turns it into this grueling story about war, politics, and the trauma of being a soldier. It never treats it's characters like they're only one-dimensional, or like they are there just for one purpose only. These characters feel human in a way Naruto and Dragon Ball could never be. But there is one thing that has me concerned about this show, and its about the weirdly anti-Semitic undertones it has.
You probably heard the controversy already, but it really effected the way people on the outside of the fandom view the series. The show is heavily inspired by European culture, specifically that of Germany, and there are an ethnic group of people called The Eldians in the show that are pretty anti-Semitic in this kind of setting. The Eldian people have the capability of turning into Titans, and the Titans are what divided the world and killed millions. As a result, another group of people started doing the shit the Nazis did to Jewish people, basically making the Eldians into this weird allegory for the holocaust??? Which was kind of a shock to me when I first realized that was the angle they were going for. I genuinely did not expect that considering what the series started off as. The foreshadowing is there and all, I just didn't think they'd use real-world events as inspiration.
Now, this actually has the complete opposite problem Naruto and DB had. Naruto and DB had amazing ideas and concepts that went to shit, AOT's whole holocaust narrative was trash from the beginning.
The show could have easily had a different kind of social/political commentary without even going near the holocaust narrative. It comes off as kind of a half assed idea that people put way too much effort in, so it's kind of in this weird grey-area between "modern anime masterpiece" and "what the fuck were they trying to get across with this show?". If you asked me what the moral of the show was, I wouldn't be able to tell you.
Now, because of the fact that the Eldians can literally turn into man-eating beasts, this makes the comparison of Jewish people and Eldians very racist, and it doesn't help that Japan is still full of legitimate Nazis, making the whole situation look even worse. Since I am not Jewish, I wont speak for other Jewish people. There is a very heated debate on whether the show is racist, and frankly I don't think it's within my right to say if it is or isn't. What I will say, is that I really loved the show and appreciated the social commentary it provided, and I think a lot of people would benefit from watching it, but I think it's also important to listen to Jewish people's views on the show. For this reason, I specifically avoid reblogging AOT stuff, but I do love that show and I wont hate on people who do reblog stuff from it. It's definitely not a light watch, but it does provide a lot of thinking material.
4. Claymore.
This. Show. Was. Amazing. But. Underrated.
First off, this is a shonen show that is led by a majority female cast and a female protagonist, and all of those women are badass swordwielding lesbians and I love it. Second, the art style is beautiful. Third, the story is really interesting from so many angles, so much so I am not even going to mention what its about because you dont need to know, you just need to watch it and see what happens. The first season was an absoloute ride of a show, and if you love shows like AOT or Berserk, you'll love Claymore. Honestly, this show was what AOT should have tried to be. It also has its fair share of militarized imperialist commentary, but this is the only show on this list that actually fucking critiques imperialist ideals and has a main character that actively refuses to participate in that kind of oppressive system, choosing to fight it all together.
But the show got fucking cancelled right before the first arc even finished. You can thank shows like Naruto for that 🙃🙃🙃
10/10 Would reccomend, but just be prepared to be left on a major cliffhanger. You can try reading the manga, but it's kind of hard to follow since all of the warrior girls look the same.
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cheseyre · 4 years
Text
good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:
*deep inhale*
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Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-
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Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:
I don't ship Prinxiety.
Like, at all. 
I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?
Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).
Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!
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I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅
However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god
alsoooo 
pURPLE EYESHADOW
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PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?
alsoooo 
hAPPY ROMAN
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YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL
ITS  BEEN SO  LONG
AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-
IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA
THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY
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Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.
👀
And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP.  I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨
we sTAN TRASHMAS
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Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?
hmmm
👀 👀 
Okay, okay. 
With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~
He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle. 
Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!
*evil snek laugh*
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Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-
Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂
God, first Patton in a skirt and now this. 
Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?
What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-
And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.
👀
Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man. 
Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls
...and fries.
Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh
Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.
Just...
Crying Stall Guy
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Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious
Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon. 
There is no in between 
sorry I don't make the rules
Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂
Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico
Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo
😅
And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!
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Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh
*clears throat*
Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house
Like
He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy
and YESS, he's a WRITER
And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??
my hEART
*cries*
The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter
*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-
*clears throat*
On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I
Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"
God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan
Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.
Wait.
Oh god.
Oh god.
This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?
Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.
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That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-
Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK
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I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking  destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-
Okay. 
Okay. 
New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video. 
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Like
Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader. 
The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals 
despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves
No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT
*inhales*
noww 
guys, gals, and nonbinary pals
it’s time forr
the most wonderful time of the yearrr
WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE
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Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN
Who will win? Who will lose? 
here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-
Place your bets, folks! ✨
Haha im not readyyy~
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tl;dr
this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.
psst hey @quarantinevibes2020​ you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine
Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤
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ingu · 4 years
Note
hi there! loving your "Buck is Eddie's love interest" gif series with the tropes. Wondering if you might also have an "Eddie as Buck's love interest" set planned? I think you have a great eye for finding and exemplifying the tropes at work in the narrative. thanks!
Thank you so much! I do have something in the works atm, though I still need to go back through Season 1 to get a better grasp on Buck and Abby moments that would best illustrate the points I hope to make. Buck is a bit of a harder one to map for the main reason that his arc isn’t nearly as clearly mapped out and resolved as Eddie’s (arguably) is. It doesn’t help that we don’t have a Buck Begins or much of anything on his past. But I think there’s definitely enough scenes and moments to work with. I just have to find the time to put it together. :)
Some thoughts under the cut because I love these boys and may as well ramble a bit at the opportunity?
-
I think the most obvious thing pointing to Eddie being Buck’s love interest is the way their arcs complement each other. In the series, one of Buck’s most well established fears is his fear of abandonment. It's hinted at from the first episode but especially driven home in season 3 (in 3x16, for example). And it’s really remarkable considering that Eddie was introduced as a character who is known for abandoning those who needed him. Eddie’s entire life and marriage collapsed because he kept running away, and he’s shown as someone who is deeply aware of the damage he did, and trying to make up for his past and to move on and grow as a person. And even at the first level, these two arcs match perfectly, as for Eddie to develop and mature, he has to learn to demonstrate  courage and commitment to those important to him. And in turn, for Buck to grow, he has to learn to recognise his own value and worth to others, and he needs to see that others are willing to stand beside him when things get tough.
It’s what it made it so significant when the show chose for Eddie to be the one to drag Buck out of his post-injury slump. Because at this point Buck is at his most vulnerable, and it is the moment that would justify any other characters drifting apart. But Eddie is shown to consciously make that effort. A character who used to run away the moment things got too hard was the one who went and showed Buck that he still stood beside him, that Buck still had a friend in Eddie (and Christopher), and that he wasn’t being left behind. And it’s such a beautiful progression for both of their arcs.
-
Another more obvious sign of course is the fact that Buck thinks he has nothing in his life aside from his job. It’s in part what drives his character angst for the entirety of season 3, all the while he is slotted into every possible scene with Eddie to show the viewer that he’s actually already part of Eddie’s family whether he believes it or not. And again, this so perfectly echoes Eddie’s own search for a co-parent and his desire to complete his family again. From the start of season 2, it’s Eddie’s aunt who remarks to Buck how Eddie struggles being alone, and in that same episode, Buck shows himself as the answer to that loneliness. 
For the two seasons, the writers have only built up this family unit more and more. It’s why so many fans found it ridiculous that Buck didn’t say yes when Eddie invited him to Christopher’s sleepover. Buck has more than his job, he isn’t alone, he has Eddie and Christopher. The show has set it all up perfectly, and all that’s left is for Buck to realise that fact for himself.
-
911 has a habit of using failed love interests to reflect the fears and flaws of the male heroes. The thing that strikes me about Shannon and Eddie, and the way that relationship developed and resolved, was that Eddie wasn’t ever going to escape the mistakes he made as Eddie 1.0. With Shannon, he would always have been a husband who ran away from his struggling wife and young child when they needed them most. And in turn, Shannon also ran away, and wallowed in guilt for years. The trust they had between them was so mangled and broken, they may never have been able to truly move on, with the shadow of their past decisions hanging over them. And at the end of it all, Eddie was left feeling inadequate, not good enough, suffering still from the consequences of Eddie 1.0
Buck and Abby, in turn, echoes this to a certain extent that was really only established/acknowledged in 3x18. With Abby, Buck entered into the relationship as Buck 1.0. And no matter how happy they are, how much Buck grows, he will always be haunted by the man he used to be. And this is in turn what Abby hints at and reflects when she properly broke things off with Buck in the s3 finale. With Buck, Abby will always be afraid of falling back into the person she used to be, the person she was not proud of being. And by extension, Buck carried that same stigma with him, the fear and danger of falling back into Buck 1.0, or worse, of not fully maturing into his properly-realised self, because of how eager he is to not fall back and do the wrong thing again. Abby knew him first as who he used to be, and unless they leave each other behind, that history can always come back to haunt them again.
And Eddie, being introduced when he was, only ever knew Buck 2.0 - someone who was devoted, loving, endlessly caring for others. And in turn, Buck has only ever known Eddie 2.0 - a responsible and loving father who fought for the people he loved no matter what. It’s telling, in a sense, that they put Eddie’s mistakes in his past, instead of letting it unfold in real time. He could just as easily have been a character who abandoned his wife and child in El Paso and moved to LA to ‘pay the bills’. But he isn’t Eddie 1.0, he’s Eddie 2.0. Buck and Eddie are set up to meet each other right at the cusp of each other’s fresh starts. 
And that’s what the lawsuit conflict really drives home in terms of development, is that it’s the first time Eddie and Buck truly glimpsed each others flaws, and the echoes of their 1.0 selves, in a way that hurt each other. Eddie saw a Buck who acted (out of pain, but still) selfishly without regard for how his actions affected and hurt others. And in turn, Buck saw Eddie who turned to avoidance to an extent that it hurt another (and toward violence, but that’s a whole other thing to unpack).
Then, they reconciled. They saw those ugly parts of each other, they saw those flaws, those imperfections, and they told each other - hey, I forgive you. I care about you. I believe in you.
-
And all of these things... that’s where this pairing comes from. They have grown as people, and you see them both toward the end of that growth, seeing how far they’ve both come. You have Buck who is desperate for family, for connection, for someone to love. And in turn, Eddie is someone who is desperate to be loved, to have someone see him as who he is beyond the mistakes he’s made, and to be enough.
And, well, they complete each other. 
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rickybowxn · 4 years
Note
hey!! ok so i just need someone else’s opinion bc i haven’t seen anyone talking about this and i literally can’t wrap my head around it lol ok so ricky and nini dated for a YEAR and never once said i love you? and if ricky isn’t ready to say it was he going to wait till 2 years? 3? 4? or was he never going to say it? i also don’t understand why he doesn’t understand that he broke her heart :( i love him but he essentially broke up with her after she told him she loved him on their anniversary 😭
hiya! this is such a great line of discussion and so there’s a lot to break down, bear with me this is gonna be a long one :)
let’s start with the thought that ricky doesn’t understand that he broke nini’s heart. i agree and disagree with you on this. i think that as a 16 year old boy, in the heat of the moment after he saw the instagram post and was clearly overwhelmed by it, he definitely didn’t know that he deeply hurt nini when he decided to not say it back and break up with her. he was as impulsive and sudden in action in response to a post/declaration that in his perspective, was impulsive and sudden by nini. he definitely underestimated the consequences and the weight of him not saying it back in respect to nini’s emotions, and thought that there was space to come back from not saying it back (and i’ll get to why he assumed that in a bit). now, fast forward to junior year, i think he’s definitely understood just how much he broke nini’s heart. i think kourtney’s resentment toward ricky in respect to how nini was treated and more importantly, nini’s general irritation/stand offishness and just distaste towards him throughout the first three episodes allowed ricky to understand how hurt she was by it.
now let’s get when ricky was supposed to/will say ‘i love you’. i don’t know about you but i personally believe that every relationship has a pace, and that pace is different for everybody. saying ‘i love you’ simply doesn’t have a timer on it, it could happen in weeks, or months, or years. how fast or how long it takes to say those words neither validates nor weakens the relationship, and that’s what i believe. personally, i’d argue that throwing around ‘i love you’s’ at 14/15/16 is more unusual/immature than a healthy/mature response (and i’ll elaborate on that in a bit as well) in a relationship. with respect to rini/rickini/ricky and nini, it’s more about each character’s motivation and circumstance with respect to their relationship, as well as their relationship as a whole. tackling that first bit, ricky is in a really rough spot in his perception of love atm, it’s been skewed into negativity since his parents’ marriage started falling apart, i’ve mentioned it in another post of mine when i was analysing ep4 - ‘the only concept of love that he grew up with, his parents - he witnessed them be in, and slowly fall out of love. his only understanding of love is that it is temporary and painful’. now parallel that with nini’s perception of love, beautifully explicated by the subtext of kourtney’s (kinda) monologue in ep5 “i don’t get it, what happened to the seventh grade nini who used to belt this song… ever since you discovered boys, you’ve spent way too much time trying to see yourself through their eyes”, we know that they are worlds apart in how they perceive and pace the idea of love, as well as a relationship itself. nini, from what kourtney said, can be deduced to loving the idea of love - having a boyfriend, getting attention and affection etc. she’s a 14/15 year old girl who started a relationship with the first boy she met and seriously had feelings for. it’s even safe to assume that she jumped into saying ‘i love you’ because she thought ricky was ‘the one’ and she must have watched about 3737328473 romcoms and musicals that pushed the agenda and romanticised relationships and being in love (which no doubt influenced her version and understanding, which is still completely valid and integral, of love). it’s really important for us to understand that just like ricky’s understanding of love is twisted, so is nini’s, neither of them have really gotten to knowing the depth of how good and not so good love can be, and how big of a commitment it is, and that’s because of what i talk about next!
the bombshell that has created the entire arc of the ricky and nini relationship is immaturity. immaturity! ricky and nini are teenagers who are still developing skills such as communication, their independent values and beliefs, as well as self-image. these are all fundamental aspects that encourage and foster a healthy environment for a romantic relationship to grow. getting into a relationship so young, at 14/15 and committing to a person is so difficult simply because you don’t have a developed skillset of these things yet, and ricky and nini are a poster example. remember how i said i’d get back to why ricky thought that he could come back from not saying ‘i love you back’ to nini? well we’re here now, it was immaturity. ricky didn’t have the empathy or emotional maturity to understand how it would effect nini, and nini didn’t communicate, (and actually still hasn’t communicated), why not saying ‘i love you’ back hurt her, she’s just been lashing out so far. now the mature thing to have done is to have sat down with ricky and talked through it, asked him and understood his train of thought. she didn’t do that and ricky just walked away without explaining himself. that, is called a lack of communication. and that skill, comes from learning and ageing. yes it was obvious to us as an audience what he’d done was so wrong, but seriously, as a 16 year old coming from a broken home and never having experienced/seen a healthy relationship, i doubt you any of us would be able to fully grasp it if it was happening to us. and that’s why i’d argue that taking a relationship slow, feeling it out and getting into it as older and more mature individuals is more thought-out. your feelings at any age toward another person are valid, especially in the case that they are reciprocated, but that doesn’t mean you will have a functioning relationship. that’s because relationships. are. work. and kids can’t handle the work because they don’t have the skills that match the job description. ‘i love you’ encapsulates that promise - exercising communication, empathy and support, it’s more than just an emotion i think. in this case, i actually think that ricky understands that better than nini does, because as i said in my other post, one of the motivating reasons he didn’t say it back is because his parents didn’t keep their promise - they fell out of developing their skillset and supporting each other. 
now the most important side-note: none of us will ever perfect these skills that make a relationship work, its constant practice in empathy, in communication, in understanding, in esteem and confidence, and in support. i just think that nini and ricky never got to experience even developing those skills independently and that’s why their relationship fell apart in the way it did. this break has already matured them, ep5 showed nini gaining genuine confidence in herself and ep4 showed ricking communicating to nini how he felt about everything going on at home. them independently going about their lives and growing is already inevitably readying them for being in a relationship and committing to them the right way, when they’re ready for it! i’m so excited to see it
finally, as for when ricky will say/was planning to say ‘i love you’ - i think the writers are taking us on that journey right now! the break ricky and nini have been going through is perfectly setting them up for that mutual and satisfying understanding of the love they have for one and other. i personally think that ricky has loved nini from the get-go, his fear of externalising those emotions is that he’ll have the same outcome as his parents, his insecurities right now don’t allow him to believe that he can have, or even deserves, more than his parents’ fate. hopefully gets out of his rut with talking about how he genuinely feels about nini and how he’s ready for that relationship soon. nini is already getting better at being more sure of herself and what she wants, i think she’ll soon realise how ricky is different to her, and how that doesn’t take away from his legitimate and very strong feelings that are ever-present for her.
what ricky did sucked and he was undoubtably a douche. but that was the exposition to his, and ricky and nini’s story, it only gets better from here! it already has xx
(i’m so so sorry it’s this long, you just really got my analysis flowing lmao, hopefully this wasn’t just a mumble and was kind of an insight. i have so much to say but my brain feels like ramen rn)
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shirokodomo · 4 years
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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.
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THE MUSE - Hakudoshi (Inuyasha)
THE MUN - Eleanor / Ellie / El
Fill out & repost! This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.
My muse is: Canon / OC / AU / Canon-divergent / Fandomless.
It's a mix of these three, the character itself is canon but I have a bunch of AUs and Canon Divergents verses although I also write him within his Canon Verse
Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.
Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO.
Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO.
I am not sure how the fandom views him in this regard, while he is one of the strongest incarnations, he isn't even on the level of either Inuyasha or Sesshomaru. So, kinda I guess?
Are they underrated? YES / NO.
Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.
To the story as a whole no, but he was relevant during a few arcs because of his connection to Naraku and the works he was sent to do.
Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.
How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.
How strictly do you follow canon?
Depends on the characters he is interacting with. With the main group (Inu & Co.) and with the other incarnations with whom he has interacted in canon material (Kanna, Kagura, The Infant) I pretty much stick it to canon as much as I can, though I have my own interpretation of his character in certain stuff.
But there are characters he never met or barely interacted with in canon (Koga, Kikyo, Sesshomaru, etc) so in these I go overboard and mostly "ignore" canon, and let my own imagination interpret how their interactions would go, while trying to keep him as the villain he is but without making the interactions short or boring.
Then I have a bunch of AUs and Canon Divergent verses which I love to dive in and allows me to stray away from canon for the most part (i.e: he doesn't die, he doesn't betray Naraku, etc). Two of my favorite Canon Divergent threads are those where he ends up traveling with Sesshomaru after escaping from Naraku or the one where a mother-son bond slowly forms between him and Kikyo.
SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.
He is a child and a child can still change his personality a lot even if they started out as a villain.
He is very intelligent, knows how to take precautions if/when things go wrong. In my opinion that makes him a good ally as much as it makes him a dangerous antagonist.
Canon didn't explore many sides of him and I'm more than willing to do that so plotting with me can become fun, even if some ideas might sound weird.
Although he was initially one of Naraku's most loyal incarnations and followed his orders, he can be self-serving (and in my eyes that's a good and bad thing) and can choose to take a different path from the initial plan even if that goes against his creator's goal and ends up benefiting the "good guys"
Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)
He is a villain and villains can be a little hard to handle and to create long threads with, without making it sound repetitive.
He can be quite creepy and perhaps a little annoying.
He has no qualms in his actions, doesn't possess empathy, doesn't care how many people were hurt or killed by his actions.
He is manipulative, although not as much as his creator, and more than capable of betrayal. Trusting him can be quite difficult especially after everything he did.
What inspired you to RP your muse?
Hakudoshi was always my favorite in the entire series, don't ask why, he just was, for some reason I was always drawn to him everytime he was on screen. His personality though sometimes difficult to portray can be interesting to explore, especially when aside from the fact that he is evil, there weren't any other sides of him shown which leaves a bunch of open doors for interpretation.
What keeps your inspiration going?
Dreams, random ideas and of course the other roleplayers I have interacted with so far.
Some more personal questions for the mun.
Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.
While I am aware that I have choose to portray a villain, I enjoy to try and step a bit out of the typical "I hate you and you hate me" troop when it comes to interactions with the "good guys", not saying that we shouldn't portray that, we definitely SHOULD because he has hurt many people and I don't expect other Muses to suddenly get along with mine but all I want is to try and step a bit more out of it so that we can create an interesting and enjoyable thread together.
An example I like to use for this, within the canon verse, is two threads I currently have with two different Inuyasha muses, in which we created an interesting set up for Inuyasha and Hakudoshi to interact, one that keeps the threads on-going smoothly, while keeping the obvious fact neither can stand the other because that's how their relationship is.
Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.
Depends on my mood and depends on the thread. There are many times I wonder if I'm making him "evil enough" or if I'm making him OOC.
Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.
Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. But I am thinking of doing a prompt thing once a month for that! To help me with my writing skills.
Do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO.
Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO. 
There are times I doubt it, other times I'm good with it.
Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO.
Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.
Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?
I'm open to constructive criticism all the time. 
Being plain rude however it's a no for me.
Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?
I LOVE getting asks, they help me not just build my portrayal of the Muse but also provides me with many headcanon ideas.
If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?
As I wrote above there are times I doubt my portrayal and also I am open to constructive criticism, so if someone disagrees with my portrayal I am more than open to receive tips on how I could get better.
Disagreeing with my portrayal just to be plain rude though, I'll pass. I don't want drama and I've created this RP blog to have fun and to escape a little from the problems in real life.
If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?
Eh I'm fine with it? Hakudoshi is a villain and a secondary character, I won't expect everyone to like him and I respect that. I just ask others to equally respect my liking for this character.
Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?
Yes I am, again I'm full open to constructive criticism. While I feel quite comfortable with my English, it's not my first language so errors are bound to happen.
Do you think you are easy going as a mun?
I am very shy and not exactly a big social butterfly, however I do like to talk to others that love the series/characters/etc as much as I do so DMs and Discord are open for that stuff too, not just plotting!
Tagged by: No one, found this on a random blog in the search
Tagging: @silverhanyou @windcarnation @konosesshomaru and anyone else who feels like doing this.
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datastate · 3 years
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☆♥️♦️☠️ for monomon!
this got long BWGMDJ sorry!! but ty for asking :]
☆ - happy headcanon
☆ : SHE HAPPY STIMS BY SINGING,,, or humming. she usually defaults to tunes she heard when she was younger or even sometimes a few she’s come up w but usually “never finds the time” to try to properly write out. like sure of course she could build a whole fucking telescope for lurien after hegemol’s gathered the materials she needed but switching over to do this for herself?? she already has like 80 other projects to work on for herself.
♥ - family headcanon
♥ : HMM ok. tbh i feel like she (loosely) considers most of the uomas n oomas her family, but if we were to go into specific Related Family, tbh i never really thought Much of it? all i really know monomon really began as no one special, and the only reason she’s got a mask is because she put herself forth with ideas and unn was like well, if you’re interested in helping rebuild your people on my land i (tentatively) trust you. she somewhat took on what role their own god left behind after receiving her mask, doing her best to preserve her people and the history of the areas around. (specifically hallownest bc people there r the main ones who offer to stay at the archive n help her out)
as for found family i really do think she considers quirrel, ze’mer, lurien n maybe unn(? if she’s willing? unn kind of becomes a mentor for her) as her closest friends!!! probably eventually herrah n hornet too, tho that’s cut off too soon by the dreamer project :[
♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon
♦ : for some reason the first thing i thought of when looking at this prompt is that she’d love dramatically retelling the bug equivalent of shakespeare, filling all the roles herself. this is not the only answer i’ll give but i feel as if it’s a thought i should share.
wrt hobbies, monomon really enjoys just... reading. or listening to someone else recount stories. she gets caught up in it, she’s like. the embodiment of that one post “time to absorb stimuli in a neurotypical way today / step one failed” BGHDSJ,, she just loves absorbing information, going thru new stories (fictional or not, tho she prefers nonfiction), and finding new viewpoints and ideas and it’s just all really interesting to her, getting to hear all of these different interpretations of the life they share (especially if she’s familiar with who the person is and what they dealt with in the past, how that influenced their view of the world)
☠ - angry/violent headcanon
☠ : i think she only gets angry when people dismiss her w/o even offering Any evidence for why they take a contrary stance to her. she’s completely fine having differing opinions and takes on things! she likes learning as much as most others in the archive, enjoys friendlier debates on things, and is fine w changing her views if she’s missed or misread info! it’s good so long as the other isn’t, you know, being a shitty person.
i’m gonna use tpk as an example bc he’s the most obvious one that i can think of atm: once he reveals the full scale of his plan, she will propose the "hollow” vessel that he ‘built’ isn’t actually hollow on the basis it clearly has a consciousness. he will deny this and once more iterate his vessel plan, you know, the one that Can Not Fail. she will try to bend for him because she respects him enough, saying, yes, i understand this is the only plan we’ve got that has a plausible solution, however i want to change it and find an actually hollow vessel so we aren’t forcing a person into this and we aren’t dooming our kingdom! he pretends to acknowledge her, only to dismiss her criticism and reiterate what ‘life’ she sees in it is simply the void’s mindless, longing effect, that it adapts out of his order and manipulation alone. she dares him to tell her what proof he has that the void itself isn’t alive. he loops his explanations again, refusing to acknowledge what facts she brings. she realizes it’s a hopeless endeavor, and chooses something more cutting, something she gathered from her time examining him (his desperation for this plan to work, if he’s so certain in flat out denying what she proposes) and the “vessel”: affirmation that she knows this vessel, whatever it is he’s taken and twisted, because it’s definitely not “just a construct” as he’s tried to excuse, has suffered enough.
she accepts the other’s stubbornness and outright refusal to even consider her point n she’s like hey well i’m good at figuring people out well enough to say fuck you, listen to me, i know what i’m talking about and if i’ve somehow missed something then you should tell me instead of acting like i’ve got the entire picture wrong.
if this is with someone that isn’t, you know, the literal god-king, and is just someone at the archive or whatever, she’ll probably just be like “well good luck finding another place because we won’t tolerate you / these types of views here.”
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chaoticspacefam · 4 years
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I stayed up way too late to answer these, it was worth it
Questions by @pauletta-00​ *dances* here we gooo, some cautions before reading the answers: 1) will contain spoilers for much much later in the fic so don’t read the answers if ya don’t want dem spoilers. I’m gonna try and keep ‘em vague enough that they don’t give everything away, cause I gotta make ya go read it, don’t I now? 😉 2) While I follow KOTFE/ET as a loose guideline it is just that. A guideline, in a lot of places we veer waaaaayyy off the established canon because *singing to the tune of a popular song* ✨it’s my fanfic and I do what I want to ✨ so don’t any of y’all yell at me because my headcanons are different pls? ok good :D
With that out of the way, the questionsss
1. Starting with basics. Who is your Outlander (which class, what their aligment)? How did they end up being frozen in carbonite for 5 years? Why did you make them the Outlander?
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(my own art because losing an eye is not a scar option in-game and it’s one of her most defining features)
Vano Saal-Shenly - Canon Sith Warrior (alignment: Light IV in game, I class her as Neutral Good) and Empire’s Wrath. She got made the Outlander because it just made the most sense, also there are some parallels between her fate/whereabouts (including the amount of time they were “missing” to each other) in KOTFE/ET and that of her wife in earlier parts of the (class) story that I very very much did on purpose 😉 She was also the Wrath, so it made the most sense for her to end up on Marr’s ship when it went boom and led into KOTFE. Pretty much follows the canon there, Vano cuts her ship loose, tells her crew + wife to gtfo of there, she and Marr are taken prisoner and she gets frozen in carbonite after the dust up in the throne room. Becomes the Alliance Commander
2. Now, to the rest of classes. What happens to them during KotFE/ET? Did they know the Outlander? Were they allies, enemies, family? Do they join the Alliance or have something else to do? Do they play a major or a minor role in the story? Spare no detail (if you wish, of course).
Aria Saal-Shenly: Human, Major role. Vano’s wife, semi-canon Jedi Consular (alignment: Grey/Dark I, Chaotic Neutral) (follows the Consular story arc grey-Dark aligned, is in fact a Sith Inquisitor playing sleeper agent). Alias “The Wrath’s Shadow” (for obvious reasons) Joined back up officially with Vano during the SoR arc, they marry sometime in the interim between Rishii and killing Revan; on the other flagship with Lana, Theron and the others when Vano’s crew returns to give them the news. Inconsolable after her wife’s disappearance and refuses to accept that she’s dead (they share a Force Bond, so Aria knows and becomes increasingly frustrated when nobody will “listen to her telling them damn it!!”), drives Lana and the others crazy by continuing to try and look for her wife and putting herself in danger in doing so. Sticks with the Alliance, of course, her wife’s the Commander XD helps Vano to manage Odessen-side things of the Alliance, specialising in helping Ni’kasi and Sana-Rae at the Force Enclave of course.
Saarai Ahaszaai: Sith Pureblood, Major role. Niece to Vowrawn and twin sister to Ni’kasi (SI). Alt Sith Warrior in-game. Light I/II, Chaotic Good, but hiding out on Rishii to escape being convicted of a serious crime and exposing her family to Vitiate/Valkorion (who would absolutely kill them if he knew) picked up by Aria and Vano during their search for Lana and Theron during that part of the storyline. Joins up with the Alliance because she and her family have a personal vendetta (tm) against Vitiate/Valkorion and she wants to stab that dude too. Eventually becomes Empress alongside Vano who  remains as the Commander (I still need to work out the details but basically it’s like...coalition government style thing and Saarai and Vano are the joint “final decision” voice mm’kay? hopefully that makes sense), with Lana, Theron and Aria to watch as Marr’s ship go boom. Has to restrain Aria when she loses her shit when they try to tell her Vano’s dead, helps Lana and the others to track Vano down and formulate the rescue plan. Stays with Aria to make sure she stays put like she was told while Lana gets Vano out of carbonite.
Ni’kasi Ahaszaai: Sith Pureblood, semi-Major role. Niece to Vowrawn and twin sister to Saarai (alt SW). Semi-canon Sith Inquisitor/Darth Occulus (follows the canon Inquisitor storyline, but is not related to Kallig, instead related to Vowrawn and lurking in hiding under Vitiate’s nose. Ends up as a “slave” when she takes the fall for her twin’s “crime” in order to protect her.), Light I/Grey, Lawful Neutral. With Saarai and the others on the ship when the big bad happens, sticks with the Alliance (and her twin) to try and track down Vano. Tries to contact Vowrawn and the other Dark Councillors etc., but can’t reach them obviously.
Merak Shenly: Mirialan, Minor role. Younger brother to Vano and friend to Aria as they briefly worked together before Aria returned to being a plant in the Jedi Order, Smuggler, Grey/True Neutral (mostly non-canon as of yet, I need to fully play through the Smuggler story and see how much of it I can graft into the fic-verse if it works or not), takes Aria’s side and works tirelessly to help them track down his sister, is likely the one to find the lead that takes them to Zakuul. Joins the Alliance and works alongside Hylo to run ammo/supplies etc. to the Alliance as they need it.
I haven’t yet played the Bounty Hunter or Trooper storylines, and my only current Imperial Agent is Aria’s mother (Light V/Lawful Good); she runs semi-canon in that she defects to the Republic, but is instead found out by the DC and Aria is sent to kill her as part of her Sith trials, so she’s dead long before KOTFE/ET happens.
I have a Jedi Knight too, but I honestly couldn’t figure out how to put him into the plot so I just left him out for now, I guess he was recruited and is probably in the background somewhere idk sjhsdyuidg
3. What about companions? Do you follow their in-game story or have headcanons for them? Did they stay with your non-Outlander characters or not? Why?
Mainly managed to plan out for the Warrior/Consular companions, haven’t thought deep enough into the Inquisitor companions yet, though I imagine at least Andronikos, Khem Val, Talos and Xalek will likely return to join the Alliance or at least ally with them somehow, because I love them ;-;
Qyzen: Stung by Aria’s betrayal and “leaves” for a while, re-recruited to the Alliance as canon/in-game and the two eventually patch up their relationship (as best they can, but are not as close as before). Tharan/Holiday, Felix, Nadia and Zenith do not return in my fic-verse. They cut ties with Aria after they find out her true loyalties are to the Empire and not the Republic.
Vette: Stays with Aria, Saarai, Ni’kasi etc. initially, eventually goes missing during their searches for Vano and loses contact with the rest of them, ends up teaming up with Gault and returning canonically/as in-game.
Quinn: is court-martialled and thrown in prison after the Quinncident. Released sometime during the five-year carbonite shebang, becomes an officer/aide to Darth Vowrawn, later joins the Alliance along with Vowrawn on Iokath. He and Vano reconcile of sorts, though she no longer considers him a friend and simply a “tactical advisor”. Quinn knows he fucked up so he doesn’t dare complain about it, or Aria will absolutely E N D him.
Jaesa: stays with Aria and co,
4. If applicable: how your characters react if the Alliance joins the opposite faction on Iokath and after that? For example: how do Sith characters feel about joining the Republic? Will they stay or leave (if it’s too spoiler-ish, then feel free to skip this)?
Aria was never truly on the Republic’s side, so she very much supports joining the Empire. Saarai and Ni’kasi originally came from the Empire so of course they’re enthusiastic. Merak is skeptical, but trusts his sister (and sister-in-law) so doesn’t protest even though the Sith do scare him, a lot.
5. If applicable: if your Commander decides to be a saboteur, would they tell anyone (PC or companions)? Why/why not?
Haven’t got this far yet to be able to plan this out, lemme get back to you when I do lol
6. How would your characters react if one of their companions is exiled or dead because of Outlander’s choices? For example: sith warrior’s reaction if Commander doesn’t save Vette?
Aria pretty much only cared about Qyzen out of her companions, he comes back fine in the end so she’s a-okay. Other than that the only person she would be deeply affected by losing again is Vano herself. She will fucking kill as many someones as she can get to before Saarai stops her if they let her wife go bye bye again.
don’t have a bounty hunter to be upset about Torian. I don’t hate him, he’s a great guy and I really enjoyed his character, but I cannot bring myself to not save Vette ;-; Vette and Vano have a sisterly-like relationship and her lock-picking etc. skills are very important to the Alliance. That Twi’lek ain’t dying on nobody’s watch hahahaha
haven’t yet had a chance to plan out anybody else’s, don’t think there are any choices in game (or that I’ve planned out in the slightly-altered fic timeline) that would affect this. May change as I get that far ahead and add or change things to fit!
7. If you have something written about anything from the above (bc I know some people do), share the links to your works (again, if you feel like it)!
The only thing I have published out on the web atm is Aria’s part of the class story, “Creeping Shadows”, which is on AO3, go give it a read if you want (rated M for mature themes like mentions of drugs & alcohol and frequent swearing etc.):
Creeping Shadows on AO3
I have pretty much all of the rest planned out, I’m just a big dummy who likes to write chronologically and as of yet cannot manage to write multiple fics at once, I will get through every part of this fic if it kills me or takes me 20 years so help me god. If you wanna hear more about my dumb children you can also DM me I could literally yell stuff about them for hours on end 😆😆
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egg-emperor · 4 years
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Do you have any headcanons for your self insert and Eggman
OHO you bet I do, especially since I have a bunch of fics of my s/i and Eggman that I’m literally never gonna post sdhkjdfhbkgbs //^w^//
I really appreciate your interest in my s/i because I don’t talk about him often thinking that people just might not really like to know. So it means a lot thank you :’D
Julian previously lived with a self-formed pack that mostly consisted of wolves and a few dogs. The point of them was to combat against Eggman’s Forces and basically serve to protect the place they resided. Of course having this connection meant that Julian heard about Eggman and all the terrible things he did all the time, being told about the latest news and past stories by the pack very early on in his life.
Despite being very well aware of how dangerous a man he is, Julian was always more intrigued than afraid. Having no idea when what he could possibly do next with how unpredictable he is was the exciting thing happening Julian’s life. He was very good at hiding it from the others though.
Julian was never a physical fighter so his position was to be the lookout, the one that warns the others of oncoming danger.
He didn’t do his job properly on purpose though lmao. Out of his fascination with all of Eggman’s creations from the biggest of mechs to the smallest of robots, he wouldn’t warn the others about seeing badniks because he didn’t want to contribute to them being destroyed. Despite them being programmed to be hostile, Julian would try to get as close to the odd motobug he saw just to get a better look at them.
He had absolutely no regard for his own safety and that only reached higher extremities when he’d sneak not far behind the pack to get even the slightest glimpse of Eggman in person. He still remembers and treasures the first time he got the closest he been yet. Which compared to now, was still very far away as he was up on top of a building lol. But he managed to see him there in his egg mobile just before he left and that was special to him!
I have multiple stories for how they first met personally but I’m still deciding on which one is the ‘canon’ version to my main story of them. Because I’ve settled on combining all my favorite parts into one, I’ll share what I’ve decided on for certain atm.
Eggman visited to see if there was any useful terrain for a base or more healthy animals to use for his pawns. This time he had his forces seize some of the most important members of the pack on the scene. Julian just happened to be one of the random extras they grabbed since he was lurking there. While that was everyone else’s horror, it was his luckiest day!
Eggman had a lot of ideas for what punishment he wanted to give the significant members that he had targeted. But first, he wanted to make sure he could break them down and control them to the point that they feel miserable and defeated, acknowledging his power and greatness for being the winner of the annoying ongoing battle between them. Before dealing with them immediately though, he had them temporarily work for him so he could mock and toy with them some more.
Since Julian was not a trained and skilled fighter like the others, he wasn’t closely involved until the third meeting. That’s when he was unexpectedly brought in and the former leader explained his position of being the lookout. As long as he could be useful to Eggman in the meantime, he could also serve some type of purpose rather than just sit in a cell until he decides it’s time to rid of them all. So he gave Julian a role in his current main base’s security room.
Eggman quickly noticed how visibly focused on him he was the entire time he was talking. Of course, when he can feel the attention on him it further boosts his confidence to the point where everyone can tell that he’s deliberately showing off. But Julian is just like me and recognizes him as a total asshole and finds that attractive about him along with everything else. Eggman announced to the others that he was an example of how attentive the others should be.
During the short time the pack had to follow Eggman’s orders, they were often scared into submission by his threats so much that hardly anyone dared to act up. They knew that their sentence would only become even shorter if they made their unwillingness too clear to him. Julian didn’t have to be told twice to do anything and served him the most willingly the entire time. The second he saw someone even consider an attempt to escape, he’d make sure Eggman knew about it.
It really didn’t take Eggman long to notice how much Julian was into him. He was already getting ideas the first meeting he attended but there was so much besides that which really made it obvious to him. The way Julian’s tail would wag like crazy when he entered the room. How happy he looked whenever Eggman was jolly, especially when he’d laugh. How he failed to hide his reaction towards even the slightest bit of physical contact between them. Even indirect contact like using something after he had, like drinking from the same glass as he did was something that he seemed oddly delighted about.
Most importantly he had many assets that Eggman found useful, such as his enthusiasm to hear him talk about himself and his work, how quickly he’d jump at the chance to serve him. Everything he did wasn’t even in an attempt to impress him or make him notice that he liked him, he did it all simply because he couldn’t help it. He just enjoyed stroking his ego and his satisfaction came from seeing Eggman happy and proud. The way he didn’t expect him to give him anything in return was also helpful in getting Eggman to realize that he had some worth lol
After he’d rid of all the other pack members he’d captured, Julian didn’t even seem to care what happened to happen to them. Instead, he was instead thrilled that he was kept alive for some reason because he still didn’t know why yet. That almost convinced Eggman that his desire to stay on his side was genuine. He was considering keeping him in management of his security and that’s why he was spared.
But he wasn’t going to reveal that to him just yet because he was soon thinking back to the times where people working under him would try to betray him or get something out of him, even after seeming to be pretty devoted to serving him. Even though Julian seemed to have the deepest passion for him beyond working, he wouldn’t overlook the possibility of him being a good actor and spy of some sort.
So he decided that he’d confront him about it and test his willingness. That way he could attempt to understand his true intentions. It’s not like he’d stand a chance against him if he did try anything against him in those moments, so he went for it. He ended up having Julian pinned up against the wall, demanding that he prove to him that it’s all real.
He said that there were no security cameras around, so he can do whatever he wanted and nobody would ever find out. He expected Julian to understand that if he had some plan to attack or betray him, now was his chance. But that’s not what he thought of with those words. And oh boy, did he know how to prove how he really felt. It was after that where Eggman knew for certain that it was real and things escalated between them from there when he took full advantage of his desire for him.
When Julian was staying with him at the base everything went well. Eggman liked how much the wolf made it clear that he would never ask so much out of him, never interfere with his work or speak against his orders because he understood and supported him in a way that no other person had done before.
Julian especially cheered on all his biggest dreams for Eggmanland, any latest plans and projects that he revealed to him and he loved to hear of all the stories of the evilest and cruelest chaos he’d brought upon people, lands and the entire planet. Hearing of it all from his perspective had been his dream ever since he’d been told about him.
The surviving (hint hint) members that had never been captured by Eggman attempted to come and ‘rescue’ Julian, but it was never a group effort. His former partners would take it upon themselves to go alone to find retrieve him, believing that he was being held there against his will. Most of them never figured out why he was so calm about being there and even after they reminded him of how dangerous Eggman is.
They were furious and appalled when they finally realized his betrayal of them for Eggman and how he completely supported the man’s actions. But it didn’t matter because none of them ever left the base unscathed to tell anyone else of their discovery. Eggman would threaten them and take action upon them himself so they’d never be able to even dare to try to come back again. Julian didn’t care what he did to them as long as it got them off their backs.
So yeahhh, Julian doesn’t have the power to be labeled a true villain like Eggman but he definitely isn’t a good guy huh XD He knows how to look and appear innocent and hide his much darker side. Eggman definitely helps bring it out of him and is a very bad influence without even really trying though heheh. They also have a lot of very deep and dark secrets that nobody else will ever know or hear of, if they do then they won’t live to tell the tale anyway. Eggman especially has always made sure of that. 👀
As time went on he realized that despite hardly being able to contain his immense amount of love for him, Julian was still very good at keeping the secrets they had together too. That’s why he eventually decided to also give him the role as a type of spy that could act and blend in well with their enemies.
He’d later go on to fool the Resistance as his spy by joining them and reporting back to his beloved with any necessary information he’d gathered. Despite a lot of close calls, Julian’s biggest accomplishment is that he managed to play the part right up to the moment where Eggman was about to drop the sun down on everyone. Then he finally got to join his side again and despite not expecting anything, he got quite the reward for that effort ;D
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dominicvail · 4 years
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Hey! Random question for you: How do you decide if/how you're gonna crop the gifs you make when putting together a set? I struggle so bad with the aesthetic elements of building a set it ends up discouraging me from finishing them most of the time.
I get the feeling anon, i struggle a lot with certain types of sets Still, which affects what i end up making A Lot. And i’ve only been making gifs for lol, 6 years, yikes? I tend to stick to what i Have learnt these days. But, anyway. 
I mostly think that the aesthetics of what you’re giffing depend heavily on how you should decide to crop it to fit on here.
I don’t know what kind of sets you make? Because I make like, gifs of scenes  very differently to something i make just for the sake of it being pretty.  
I personally have preferences for what dimensions i think look best for certain types of gif sets on tumblr, i do not Usually ( i make exceptions) stray from these, and the dimensions have an effect on your cropping.
Say like, [This] set, the dimensions i used were 268x180 which is my preferred choice for either 6 gif set or an 8 gif set formatted like this and if i don’t use those dimensions, it’s because i had a good reason not to.
Typically, face close ups in sets like this look Far better than like, a shot in the first gif of that set with half of granger’s body in the shot. This isn’t because head shots look better in gifs, it’s because head shots remove a Lot of the background which is what, 9 times out of 10, is what is messing up the aesthetic of a gifset. Also, an aside, try not to have dialogue cover anybody’s face, sometimes with already close up shots it’s impossible to avoid, but if your text is obscuring somebody’s face, you’ve cropped too much off. 
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Backgrounds are often messy, busy, and eye drawing. If you’re making edits just for the sake of being pretty, negative space is your best friend, i really can’t emphasis that enough. I think people think it’s what’s In your gif that will make an aesthetic set look pretty, but i personally think it’s in how you use what it Not there. 
'what is not there’ also applies to shadows on negative space backgrounds, you Really need it to look as plain as possible, imo, take this gif for example;
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Without edits, the plain wall behind the height chart was heavily shadowed, i used brightening techniques to remove the harshest shadows and also cropped it so the gif was thinner b/c the shadows were darkest at the far corners of the gif. It’s not a major edit, but the effect it had on the set it was in was Massive. It went from ruining the look of what was a ten gif set to fitting in perfectly and it was such a small, simple thing to edit. 
Also, for examples of how different a seemingly plain background shot can look with and without editing, This;
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and
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(the over exaggerated white was for Aesthetic reasons, i wanted it to look weirdly coloured, the bg was empty anyway) but this same shot looks totally different when i remove the small lines from the elevator he’s in that i left there in the top gif. His malevolence levels shoot through the roof. Just simple things like that can entirely alter the look of something. 
I don’t have an example of this next technique with that specific G shot, But with some scenes like the above it would be possible to crop it in as close as the second gif has been, then increase the canvas size again and just paint on the same bg colour as the bg behind him and you’d have a panoramic gif with an entirely negative space bg without it even looking like you’ve even edited it.
i did that here, kinda:
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I cropped the bottom of the gif off because originally there was a Lot more mountain on it, and added to the canvas at the top of the gif, and just coloured the blank canvas the same colour as the rest of the sky and presto! i have a Ton of more negative space and it took me like a minute. You can use the same technique for width as well as height, this was just the first gif i’d found. 
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anyway i went on a tangent, but dimensions;
for 2 gifs in a set, if they’re face close ups i’ll for them side by side and like, rectangle, you can do them square but i just think it looks better if they’re higher than they are wide, i don’t always use the same dimensions for the height of these types of sets, just what i think looks best for the scene.
if it’s more of a view than a close up for 2 gifs, i’ll do one gif on top of the other, Usually if i do it like this it’s specifically to showcase a view, so i probably won’t crop the scene at all for this type, and just resize for tumblr, but if i do it will be to crop out a network logo but i’ll leave the gifs as large as i can do so while taking it off. If possible i will paint over a logo, so if the logo is over a bit of screen that’s just one plain colour it’s easy to obscure, but otherwise its a crop. If i ever leave a logo on, it’s b/c i had no choice because i Hate leaving logos on. 
for sets of 4, like, dialogue scene gifs e.g. this one [here] the traditional square 268x286 is best, tbh. However, for that set there, not sure if this counts as cropping but it is aesthetic, in the show the shots were eric, nell, nell, eric. Because, in that format, doing it that way would have had them looking Away from each other in the bottom two gifs, i switched them around in the set and it looked So much better. When possible, always have people physically speaking to each other  in gifs actively face each other. Sometimes this involves flipping the whole gif which i Try not to do because our brains are trained to look at these people through a backward lens, so when you flip it over we think it looks weird because very few people Actually have perfectly symmetrical faces so like, they look Wrong to us. But looking a little wrong normally looks less weird than having people insets face the totally wrong direction. 
for 10 gifs, displayed 2 by 2, i will not make them as high, 10 gifs of 268x180 is too long, it looks weird, and even shaving 10px off each gif makes it look more aesthetically pleasing. 
for gifs displayed one on top of the other with text over, where you have a lot of them, they look better thin, i usually use somewhere between 230-245px for each gif’s height. Like this one. 
if you’re making Huge gifs like... 540x440px for Aesthetic reasons, that Can work really well but is Exceptionally difficult imo and i really can’t offer any advice or tricks because i am hopeless at it. 
On of my other tricks of the trade is, when i see a scene i think will make great gifs in the caps i’ve taken for something, i will save the caps. Like, that G moment of him looking into the camera, i took caps of the scene for a specific reason, deleted the rest of them when done, but saved those ones away. Scenes with minimal background that Also contain a look into the camera are Rare, exceptionally good looking on edits, and u will never remember where they are in the show if u delete them lol. So if you find shots you love, keep the caps! reuse them! to this day, i’m the one one to ever call myself out over excessive reuse of the same shots over and over. 
Also, zig zags and diagonals are more attractive visually. like, this is from my main but i can’t fine one off this blog atm, but [this] You see how i’ve made this so your eyes flow in a seamless diagonal downwards? You eyes don’t flit back and forth in 3 different directions, it has a flow to it. The first shot on that set isn’t actually like that in the show, her face was on the right side of the screen, i cropped off everything on the left, added to the canvas on the right and used the wall she was standing next to to make it less obvious i cropped it so dramatically to achieve that. You can only really tell if you’re looking for it in that one. But like, if you can crop something so the gifset has a decent flow to it, so your eyes slide over it rather than attempt to look in 6 directions in jerky moments, it helps a lot. I did the same thing with this one, [here] every gif on that is cropped into a different angle as it was on the show. 
This works specially well when you have a lot of gifs in your sets, which is where the zig zag thing comes into it, like, those 2 i linked two didn’t last long enough to zig back, but if i’d done another 2 gifs on there, i’d have put it back so your eyes slid back to the left side again. Can’t find an example rn, it’s Hard to do the more gifs you have, but pull it off and it looks really good. 
however, if you Can make each gif centered perfectly it looks Really cool but it’s really hard to do b/c show content just.. isn’t great sometimes. But it looks so cool. 
tldr: Negative space is Super Important!!! backgrounds can be super eye grabbing and you don’t want that, choose your dimensions well, make sure you make peoples eyes flow across your work rather than dart. 
idk, i hope this made sense, but making things look aesthetically pleasing is Really hard and takes a lot of work, it just looks like it should be easy, it’s not you finding something hard that other people seem to find super easy, it’s not easy, it involves a lot of tricks and editing that you Have to obscure because if it’s too obvious it doesn’t look attractive. A lot of work goes in, if i had my way i’d make mostly aesthetically pleasing edits but it’s too hard and i don’t have that kind of time. I hope this helped in some way? 
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lumilasi · 5 years
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I really wanna get into fanfic writing. So I wanna ask on how do you get the chapters to be so long? So fulfilling to keep us readers reading them? Also, how do you keep with the plot? And keep the fic alive till its fully finished?
Magic. Sometimes I dunno myself tbh.  
I suppose I could explain a little of my writing process, maybe that’ll give you some tips or something, IDK;
usually when I write, I pretty much decide the ending beforehand so I know what I’m working towards. It might change somewhat depending on how the story progresses, but generally speaking the core of the ending usually stays the same. (Soul Duality became a mess because I hadn’t established proper ending for it heh)
I also plan a lot of the plot beforehand, and this is admittedly where my very individual trait comes into play a lot; I happen to be a person who can think up stuff VERY quickly, connect dots really fast so to say; it helps with the process quite a bit. I also physically type extremely fast so the actual writing action itself tends to not take long.
This is probably something very personal to me and I dunno if it’s something you could learn. 
Another thing I’ve tried to do is try and not write “filler” so much, as in, stuff that I find boring to type out, and would find boring to read personally. (this was a tip I saw from another writer in another fandom, and it helped a lot) It keeps the plot flowing and fun to type out. 
When it comes to the character portrayals, I tend to try and take notes from canonical portrayals as much as I can, and apply them into the AU I’m working on, trying to think how the particular trait would manifest in this situation, given the different history behind the character in the said AU is going to have an effect on it. 
It’s easy with complex characters like Tomura, and pretty damn hard with currently development-lacking ones like Dabi (hence I tend to rely on his fandom portrayal a lot as canon has next to nothing to offer for me to build on ATM) 
It’s not really a strict requirement, but from my experience people tend to appreciate it if you manage to keep your portrayal closer to canon, hence that researching the character bit can be important. (granted nobody can really get it 100% correct except the character’s owner, given everyone sees them a little differently, so don’t stress this too much)
The chapter length was pretty much a random chance; it just happened to become the length it averagely is. 
As for keeping up with the plot? Well, again, it’s a personal quirk of mine; I don’t keep notes or anything. I just tend to remember most of it easily, and if I forget something, I go and check from the fic heh.
Keeping stories fulfilling to readers? 
I think that depends on the reader and not me, what they find enjoyable to read. 
I suppose though, foreshadowing stuff is always a good technique; hint towards stuff and thus give people something to look forward to. Sometimes people might not realize you’ve been foreshadowing the stuff tho and only realize after you’ve gotten to the point that oh yeah, the writer was hinting towards it. I personally tend to put a looot of details like this in my fics, and some are less obvious than others. 
Example: Tomura complaining about not having a healing quirk in Crossroads was foreshadowing to him taking a copy from Eri. It wasn’t very obvious one, but the reason why I made him complain about it so much was not only to establish his care towards certain people indirectly, but also to build up towards this scene where he grabs a copy.
Keeping the fic alive? Basically, writing multiple stories at once that are different from one another. That way writing stuff doesn’t grow stale to me because I can switch into something different if a particular story bores me at that moment. 
I can’t really think of anything else RN, hope any of that helps. I’m not the best with giving advice I’m afraid. 
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