Waiting...
Sleepless nights were not uncommon. But usually the cause would be the fear of the future or the guilt of the past. This butterfly sensation Yasha hadnt felt in a very long time, however, was the culprit.
The moment the parchment had left her fingers, regret began to seep in. But hope always found a way to her mind. Especially when she was trying fruitlessly to fall asleep. The first night was the hardest. Not only because of the cold, but because Beau was right there in need of warmth. She watched closely, certain Cadeuces and Jester had noticed but stared nontheless. More times than she was proud of, she opened her mouth to offer sharing her warmth but decided agaisnt it. The second night in the tower wasn't much better. She couldn't see Beau now and thus had no idea whether or not she had read her letter. Yasha lied awake for hours just staring at the flowers in the room and on the wall. Wondering. Imagining. Hoping.
When the morning came, Yasha had to restrain herself from seeking out Beau immediately. Patience. The ball was now in her court, as she might say.
She walked closely beside Beau the whole day. Trying, and failing, to be casual about it. No doubt Jester knew what was going on by now. Still, she waited. Patiently. Stealing glances at Beau, "accidentally" bumping into her when she stepped in a soft patch of snow.
The third night was when doubt crept in.
Did Beau not like her back? Had she embarrassed herself by pouring her heart out onto paper? Had Beau even read the note or had she disregarded it as something unimportant?
She tossed and turned for hours before drifting off to fitful sleep.
She kept her distance that next day. Her mind swirled in a storm of emotion. Did she read it yet? What did she think? Why hadnt she said anything yet? Was she uncomfortable around Yasha now? The doubts pelted her heart and the butterflies turned into a heavy weight in her gut. She still stole glances, though they were looks of longing rather than expectant flirtation. Maybe, she thought. Maybe this just isnt the time for it.
The final night of their journey, Yasha could barely sit still. Somehow she found herself standing in front of Beau's door in the tower. Her hand raised as if to knock but it never made contact. Her heart pounded and she was afraid that even Beau could hear it through the door. If she was even awake at the moment.
Instead, she sulked to Jester's room. Maybe talking about this was what she really needed. Words were very hard but Jester always made it feel easier to be vulnerable. She had to knock a few times before the little blue teifling opened the door, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
"Yasha? What's wrong? Are you ok?"
What time was it? Yasha hadnt even considered that factor. She had been awake for a while and... well. Her mind was elsewhere.
"Um. Im sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Yasha barely managed before her voice began to break. Tears she hadnt known she had been holding back began to spill forth.
"Ohmigosh Yasha!" Jester pulled her through the door before shutting it behind them. Yasha realized quickly that Jester hadnt been asleep either. A candle was lit by her bedside and a book with a cat seemingly holding a top hat on the cover was open on the bedsheets. A little bit of guilt melted away.
"I gave her the poem. Well-um. It wasn't really a poem anymore. Not that the poem wasnt good I just...." her words faltered off and Jesters expression filled with excitement.
"Really? When? Has she read it yet? What did she say? What happened?" Questions shot out at a million miles per second.
Yasha stayed quiet and the excitement in Jesters face fell to concern.
"Yasha, what did she say?"
Yasha couldnt bring herself to look her friend in the eyes. "I gave it to her a few days ago. I dont know if she has read it. She hasnt said anything to me and I think... I think I messed up, Jester."
"Oh Yasha." Jester threw her arms around her. "No you didn't do anything wrong. Maybe she is just waiting for the right moment. Maybe she wants to make it special. Oh maybe-" she wiped a tear from Yasha's face. "Maybe shes writing you back."
Yasha hadnt thought of that. "Why would she do that?"
"Oh Yasha. Beau is... um well. Not very good with emotions." Jester admitted.
"Well I guess that goes for the both of us." She sighed.
"Exactly! So maybe. Just like you had to take your time and write things out, maybe that's what shes doing? I dont know or maybe shes waiting for more confirmation or..."
"I'm afraid I've offended her. What if she didnt like it or what if she thought it was stupid or dumb or she thinks I'm stupid or dumb-"
"Yasha!" Jester cut her off. "Beau would never think that. She-" a pause. "She thinks very highly of you, Yasha."
This recieved a bitter scoff in response.
"Yasha," she began slowly. "Why don't you try to talk to her tomorrow."
Yasha gave her a look of disbelief. "Why would I do that?"
Jester giggled a little bit. "Because, Yasha, she feels the same way you do but we both know Beau." She raised a brow. "She probably just needs some help in getting the conversation started."
Yasha thought about this for a moment in silence. Perhaps she could just casually check in with her, just like she had done for Yasha so many times before.
"If you dont talk to her, I will." That threat may have been empty. It may not have been. Regardless. Yasha sputtered a response.
"No no no dont do that I will talk to her." She sighed realizing too late the words that had come out of her mouth. "I will try." She added on in a much softer tone.
"Good." Jester smiled. "I beleive in you Yasha. I'm rooting for you!"
Yasha chuckled a bit at that. "Well. I will try to not let you down then."
Jester yawned but tried to hide it. Yasha smiled softly at her. "Thank you, Jester."
"You're welcome, Yasha." She gestured to the large room. "You can stay here for the night if you don't want to be alone."
Yasha appreciated the thought very much. But she had some thinking to do.
"Thank you. But umm... I think I'll go back to my room. I- you should get some sleep."
They muttered their good night's. Jester gave a few more statements of affirmations as Yasha left. A smile on her face, though faintly.
What in Exandria was she going to say to Beau tomorrow? As she slipped back into her own room and stared at the ceiling like she had done every night before, the storm in her mind began to calm. She would find the right thing to say. It was Beau, afterall. She would never judge her.
She knew she could count on that.
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I’m thinking about how for the 1st 90 episodes I watched of Campaign 2 I stayed off any sort of critical role fandom, to avoid spoilers.
But because of this I was utterly unaware of ships. Like I only shipped, YezaxNott, FjordxJester, BeauxYasha, and briefly BeauxKeg.
And then I finally saw some shipping super cut videos. And I was so shocked, like what? People ship Caleb and Jester??? Beau’s crush completely shocked me. People shipped Widobrave? What? Yasha and Jester?
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