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#because nobody you care about got hurt except Vinnie
blackberry-jam · 11 months
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That post about cannibalism becoming too mainstream and destigmatized by certain sections of the internet and therefore losing its weight and horror and visceral nature just has me thinking about how HABIT ate a baby and everyone was like oh lmao he’s just an edgy cool guy!!!! He’s just like me fr!! Haha!!! Which. I think not enough people are freaked out by the fact that he forced Evan to eat his own child raw and possibly alive. He mentions “the bones” and implies that it took awhile. Like that wasn’t Hannibal-style Brioche With Baby Pâté and Shredded Zucchini in a Plum Vinaigrette, he just opened Evan’s mouth and bit down until the job was done, and I think that says a lot more about Habit than people want to examine. Idk it just. has me thinking. The number of times hurting children comes up in entries and supplementary materials about HABIT is kind of overwhelming, really. I’ve seen people talk about how they think he’d draw the line at hurting children, but the source material goes out of its way to state otherwise- just about every time he’s in contact with children they die. Or worse. He’s the summation of the worst of humanity, the combined aggregate of all of our flaws and crimes, and one of those crimes is cannibalism, so honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if he made a habit (ha) of it.
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"Oh eh gunpowder, nitroglycerin, NOTEPADS, fuses, wicks, GLUE, and uh paper clips, big ones, just eh office supplies.
You didn't just drink that did you? That's not good that's nitroglycerin. Don't move, don't breathe, don't do anything, except pray maybe.
Hey look I made a bridge! Only took me what... ten seconds, eleven tops
I could unroadblock that if I had about 200 of these. Problem is I've only got about ten. Plus five of my own, and a couple of cherry bombs, road flare, hey too bad we don't have some nitroglycerin eh Milo?
We've done a lot of things we're not proud of. Robbing graves, plundering tombs, double parking. But nobody got hurt. Well maybe somebody got hurt, but nobody we knew.
You know I'm going open up the flower shop. And I'm gonna think of you guys every single day. Monday through Friday, nine to five. Saturday til two. Sunday better take off Sunday probably." (Vincenzo Santorini, Atlantis; The Lost Empire.)
When I was in summer camp every summer that the camp was fun we would bust out Atlantis Lost Empire. During this period of time at camp we watched a lot of classic movies, some that I hated like The Sandlot, and others that became some of my favorite movies of all time like Atlantis and Goonies. Throughout all of these days of vacation the movie that I looked forward to watching the most with my best friend's was Atlantis. We had our own individual favorite characters because the side characters are all so diverse from each other. My best friend loves Moliere, but my favorite has always been Vinny ever since I can remember.
I didn't watch this movie when I was living in California. It wasn't even on my radar as a thing that existed until I was eight and started going to camp every summer. But I remember the first time that I ever saw it instantly loving Vinny. There was just something about that dry sarcastic sense of humor that just fit his personality. He might have come off as. nonchalant and uncaring of what happened but you knew deep down that he cared about Milo and his friends. One of my favorite moments of "soft VinnyTM" is when he pitches Milo's tent for him because he can't do it himself. I always love that little moment because while he could've just left for him to fend for himself he didn't and instead decided that he would rather do something for his friend that he was coming to care about.
I would describe Vinny as soft but with a harder outer shell. He prefers to make snarky comments because he has been through a lot with losing his original flower shop. Even if it gave him his love of demolitions and explosives, he still missed that part of his life. It was who he was for such a long time that losing it took it's toll. He's the kind of person who while he doesn't have many friends the ones that he does have he would do anything for. I love his friendship with Mole even if most of the time it's spent with him looking at him like he's insane it cracks me up every time.
Vinny's voice is actually really fascinating because his voice was done by a man by the name of Don Novello. Now Don here is an Italian improvisational comedian. What that means is for those of you who don't understand theater terminology improv is what you come up with on the fly to usually make people laugh. You have a set of jokes or an idea before you go on stage and perform it. Why this is important for Vinny is because Don never used a written line for him that wound up in the finished film. He would say a line once and then never use the same one again and would instead come up with his own thoughts about the character. It's very much something that only Don is capable of bringing to life. While I love the idea of RDJ playing him for a live action film it would only work if he was able to have the same freedom and liberties.
Vinny to me is day's in the Centerplace Summer Day Camp movie room also our theater room there. It's coming out from the heat and into the soft air conditioning sitting between my two best friends and waiting for our individual favorite characters to come up. I mentioned my best friend who loves Mole but my best guy friend at the time loved Sweets. Vinny is whispered matching lines of dialogue to match his, it's quoting him during field trips, it's sitting between my two best friend's waiting for his first scene. Vinny Santorini just reminds me of summers when I was a little kid. He'll always be my favorite Italian demolitions expert, tough but with a soft and caring heart.
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jeonsblackgf-writes · 3 years
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ONE PLUS ONE || 2 ||
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✨Summary: Trials and tribulations of Vinnie and his gf
✨pairing: Vinnie Hacker x black!OC
✨genre: agnst, just a little bit tho, but it’s fluff at the end
✨word count: 1.6k
I really like this so I may make it into a little mini series.
_________________________________________🖊
Rhey's heart dropped as she started at Vinnie with wide eyes. He only sighed and ran his hand through this curly hair. Those words that came out of his mouth put her in a bad position, and she didn't know how to react to it. She was scared.
Vinnie was her entire life and the thought of him leaving made her feel some type of way. Anytime she left the country or state to tour, he was always with her. He never missed one tour. It's hard to be away from your significant other for a certain amount of time if you were always around them before. It's like a fish without having water, she couldn't survive. With her being a huge star like Billie and Ariana Grande, it was hard to find a steady foundation in her life when Vinnie wasn't around her.
".....Are you gonna accept it?" She asked quietly after a moment of silence, fiddling with her fingers, something she did when she got sad or anxious. Vinnie shrugged his shoulders.
"If I accept the offer...I have to move. I'm gonna accept it. This is huge for me,"
Rhey's heart stopped, "Are you fucking kidding me Vincent? You weren't gonna take it up with me first?"
"Why would I? I can make decisions like this on my own!"
"Vinnie, I don't want to sound selfish, but your life is here, you can't just leave. I mean what does that mean for us if you end up leaving?" She asked, getting right to the point.
Vinnie knew she was right but it still hurt that she made it seem like she wasn't going to support him during his decision making.
"What do you mean I can't leave? Your my girlfriend not my mom, I expect you to at least be happy for me, but you can't even do that! I made sacrifices for you, do the same for me for once!" He argued, raising his voice in the process. 
"What sacrifices have you made for me other than the fact that you moved away from you and your friends old house which is 30 minutes away, to this fucking villa that WE BOTH picked out together! Please let me the fuck know!"
"All those times I've went on tour with you and I had everyone here with the United fucking States! That's one sacrifice! When you were sick so I had to cancel doing a video with James! That's two!"
"NOBODY TOLD YOU TO FUCKING COME WITH ME! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ASKED! AND LETS NOT FORGET THAT I TOLD YOU NOT TO CANCEL AND YOU DID ANYWAY! THOSE WERE SACRIFICES YOU TOOK!" She screaming, pointing her acryliced index finger at him. He huffed and ran a hand through his hair.
"What's the point of us being together if you aren't gonna compromise. Addison sacrifices for Bryce all the time." He tried explaining, but all it did was make her even more confused.
"Please do not bring up that racist bitch in my household. I'm fine with all of your friends girlfriends EXCEPT her and Dixie and besides, she has the brain capacity of a fucking roach of course she's gonna compromise with him! You joined the Hype House and your mouth been getting real fucking reckless Vincent."
"Well...what are we gonna do then?" He asked quietly. He knew that if he left then it'd be over for him and his girlfriend and that's the last thing he wants but this was a huge thing for him.
Rhey closed her eyes as she tried to calm herself down. Everyone on her team knew how much she hated yelling, voice raising, or anything of that nature. It was in a rare occasion where she yelled or raised her voice angrily.
"I just want you to think about what you're doing. I don't have a home in Paris. Only LA, ATL, and NY. So how do you expect me to always come see you when my career still rapidly on go? How do you possibly expect this to work if you're gonna be living in Paris for the rest of your life—"
"Its not the rest of my life! God Rhey, even if it is the least you can do is be supportive!"
"Then HOW long is it? Do you know how Vogue deals work? Once you sign with the region, you can't permanently leave unless you visiting somewhere else. They need you at all times!"
Vinnie sighed, not knowing what to do. He loved Rhey immensely. She was the love of his life. They've been together for 8 years, and he didn't want all that to gown down the drain. No ever, but he was put between a rock and a hard place where he had to choose between his gf and being an actual model.
"I'm not trying to pry, I swear I'm not but I just want you to think about this. It seems like you really want to do it and if you do then that's fine. I will support you, if you don't then I will continue to support you. Doesn't matter to me, I just don't want you signing your entire life away halfway across the world away from your girlfriend and friends, but do what's best for you. Do whatever you want." She sighed, trying not to get emotional.
Before he could respond to what she said, she grabbed her phone and keys, and left the house in a hurry. He followed her outside and watched as she sped out of the driveway and down the street. Vinnie looked on life360 and saw that she was heading in the direction of the skate park that always went to when they wanted to talk and skate for hours.
He gets that relationships are never easy, and that it'll always be something that may or may not cause a break up. This situation just might make them or break them. He knew that being with your high school sweetheart after high school changes everything, but no one ever told him it was going to be this hard to the point where his heart aches and drops every time someone mentions them breaking up or even taking a break. There's a lot he can take, but to potentially not be with Rhey anymore was a sickening thought that he could erase from his brain.
"Ugh, Rhey why did you have to leave?" He mumbled to himself as he slipped on his shoes and grabbed his car keys. He got in the car and rode to the skate park, seeing her sitting under a tree. He was very surprised to see no paparazzi standing by taking photos and bombarding her.
Getting out the car, he grabbed two blunts and walked over to his girlfriend to sit down beside her. He gave her a blunt and lit it, then lit one for himself. She inhaled the smoke and blew it right back out after sucking it through her nose, dried tears on her face. Despite her high social status, he had never seen her so messed up over something like this.
"Do you wanna break up?" She asked, kind of catching him off guard. Vincent gave her a confused look
"What? God no! Baby you're the love of my life. I can't live without you! " He assured, pulling his girlfriend into his arms as he continued to smoke. It was almost 12 and it was completely dark outside.
"I can get you a deal out here. I've just gotta talk to the director and I can get you a 5 year contract. P-please don't leave me." She stated, her voice cracking at the end.
Vincent sighed, finishing off his blunt and throwing it away. He grabbed his girlfriend by both her cheeks with one hand to make her stare into his eyes.
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Do you understand?"
She nodded her head, making him show a small smile before smashing his lips into hers.
Once they pulled away, Rhey pulled out her phone to show Vinnie something. His eyes squinted at the screen and then widened once he saw what it was.
"You didn't..." He trailed off, his eyes clouded with tears. Rhey smiled through the tears running down her face and nodded her head.
Vinnie was looking at a photo on him on his skateboard, a photo she took of him. She used a picture of him as her album cover and he didn't know whether to cry or fuck her silly. He might end up doing both.
"That's what I wanted to show you when so got home. I finished the album, this may be my most personal album yet because each and every song is about you and our relationship. Guess what my last song is called." She laughed, waiting for him to respond. When he didn't have an answer, she showed him her track list and let him scroll all the way down. When she heard a small gasp, that's when she knew he had found it.
"Vinnie....the name of the song is vinnie."
Rhey smiled, but it didn't last long because Vinnie pushed her onto the ground with kisses, invading her personal space. He put more passion into the kiss as he rubbed her sides in a soothing way before reaching under her shirt to grab both her boobs, making her gasp, letting him indulge deeper into her mouth. He finally pulled away, giving her air to breathe, only to trail kisses down her neck and collar bone, sucking and kicking every crevice that she was sensitive to, not caring that anyone could come behind the large tree and see them.
He attempted to pull one of her boobs out but she quickly stopped him, not wanting to live life on the edge TOO MUCH.
"How about we finish this at home yeah?"
"Fuck yes! Let's go!"
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heloflor · 3 years
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About MML season 2
So after rambling about one season 2 episode, I now want to rant a bit. So here’s a list of reasons why I find season 2 weaker than season 1. Obviously, this post is mostly me complaining about some stuff so, if you don’t want to hear about it, don’t read.
Note that this is a personal opinion and you have every right to disagree with it. Also, the points given aren’t sorted in any particular order of importance.
For those who don’t want to read the post (because you don’t have time/aren’t really interested/ can’t stay focused for too long etc) or if you only want to see certain points, here’s a list of what I will discuss here :
- Murphy’s Law seems weakened
- Dakota and Cavendish are like looney toons characters and more time is spent on them getting hurt rather than on their interactions with each other, which makes their plot boring
- Compared to most Dwampyverse couples, Zack and Melissa have no development
- Doofenshmirtz is annoying but does have his few moments
- A few jokes take too much time; in particular, “Cavendish Unleashed” makes me straight-up angry because of that
- They wanted to make a plot for Zack but it goes nowhere
- other smaller things like the lack of time spent on the school characters
Now, onto the longer version (very long post ahead) :
1. Less Murphy’s law
So in season 1, Murphy’s law was a main focus for the story, in the sense that it was pretty strong. Most episodes had stuff blowing up or getting destroyed. And often, you end up thinking that people got hurt by such mess. Take episodes like “Worked Day”, “Family Vacation”, “Murphy’s Lard”, “The Little Engine that Couldn’t” or “Milo's Halloween Scream-a-Torium”, to cite some of the most extreme cases. And yes, not every episode is like that, and some are even pretty chill when it comes to Murphy’s law like “The Race” or “The Substitute”.  Also, Murphy’s law was conveniently turned off except when convenient for the story in major episodes like “Missing Milo” and “Fungus Among Us”. But overall, you really had that impression that Milo’s life was chaotic and explosive and hard to live by.
In season 2, there definitely were episodes in which Murphy’s law was strong, like for example “Freefall”, the ending of “Teacher’s Feature” and any episode with the aliens, in particular the last three episodes of the season. But for the most part, Murphy’s law mostly felt like an inconvenience rather than an actual problem. For example, you have “Walker, Runner, Screamer” in which like one problem happens or “Disco Do-Over” in which Milo very easily solves his parents’ problem. It also doesn’t help that both episodes have at least one character make a big deal out of Murphy’s law.
But aside from that, there are also episodes in which Murphy’s law doesn’t even seem to really happen. Like in “Lady Krillers”, “Spy Little Sister” (I’d argue that the lightbulb accident would have happened regardless of Milo’s presence) or even “Cake ‘splosion” in which Murphy’s law is there but overall it feels more like Milo overcoming the show’s obstacles.
So yeah, Murphy’s law is still present but at the same time it doesn’t feel as strong as the first season. And while it does give more time for Milo and co to have some character development I guess, overall it just feels kind of off. And now that I think about it, this lack of a mess in the A plot in a show that’s meant to be chaotic might be the root for my next complain.
2. Dakota and Cavendish are too cartoony
 So in season 1, the B plot was my absolute favorite thing in the show. I couldn’t and still can’t get enough of these two idiots and how they play off of each other. But in season 2…let’s just say that I barely watch their plot during the first half of the season, and the reason is simple : Cavendish and Dakota are a joke in this first half. Their plot is all about them trying to get something and stupidly get hurt by it, and it just feels boring.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not against these two getting hurt. After all, they failed basically all their missions in season 1 and looked dumb while doing so. But the thing is : 1. In season 1, it was mostly because of Murphy’s law so it wasn’t always their fault and 2. The main thing about them in season 1 was their interactions. The most interesting thing about them has always been how they act with each other, at least in my opinion. Heck, my favorite B plot (not episode but B plot) is from “Abducting Murphy’s Law”, an episode in which all Dakota and Cavendish do is talk to each other in different places. It’s just two guys talking, and yet I absolutely love this plot.
So yeah, you don’t need to make Dakota and Cavendish be incompetent idiots for them to be great, you just need to make them interact with each other. That’s also why, out of all their “collecting trash” plots, my favorite is in “Lady Krillers”, because I love the first half with Cavendish complaining while Dakota is being baby while listening to music + their dumb argument over moving the bag and then Cavendish getting scared and Dakota immediately getting protective. This is fun ! This is cute ! This is very dumb and I like every second of it !
On the same note, I can’t stand the B plot of “Disco Do-Over”. The idea isn’t bad and the old lady is a great one-of character, but overall the plot is just urgh for me. The only thing I like is when Cavendish says that Drusselstein sounds made up (I guess Professor Time never wrote an autobiography) and Dakota starts listing made-up words, only to end up smiling at Cav while saying his name slowly in a borderline flirty way, as if he enjoyed every syllable of it. But thing is, I consider that, when shipping is the only thing I care about in an episode/plot, it means that it’s bad. And “Walker, Runner, Screamer” is in the same vein. I can’t stand the plot.
There are actually two things about these plots that I thing really pisses me off (the fact that these plots don’t have much of the duo playing off of each other doesn’t really pisses me of, it just makes the plot boring) :
First of, it makes Dakota seems completely incompetent. Yes I know he wasn’t a first-class agent and even in season 1 he wasn’t that athletic or anything but there was still the feeling that he knew what he was doing. He always managed to steal from Brick and Savannah or know where the duo was, he was able to save Cavendish hundreds of times and finally who knows what the Mississippi purchase was. So while he wasn’t the best, there was some competence. But in season 2, it’s more or less gone.
And for my second pet peeve : Cavendish’s mortality. In season 1, it was established that Cav had a hard time staying alive and could die from tons of different ways, including falling from great heights or getting sent through a wall by a horse. And while we do see him survive a giant rolling rock in “Murphy’s Lard”, Dakota still makes a comment asking if Cav is alive.
But is season 2, it seems like they completely forgot about this part of his character. The worse has to be in “Loot at This Ship” in which he somehow survives when messing with the ship. But earlier in the season, there’s also “Lady Krillers” in which he survives a bull attack three times ! Though, what really pisses me off with that isn’t just the fact that he survives for the sake of comedy; it’s Dakota. In this episode, Dakota has no problem just running away and letting Cavendish get attacked by the bull ! And it’s the same thing in “Disco Do-Over”. When Cav tries to sneak into the garden and gets attacked, Dakota just panics and runs away ! I swear the first time I saw this I was like “Excuse me ?!”. Because you’re telling me that Vinnie “sacrificing himself over and over again with no regrets for Cavendish” Dakota is now ditching Cav in situations he finds dangerous in order to save himself ???
I’m sorry but it pisses me off. It might just be me overreacting but seeing two characters whose main strength in the story was their banter now interacting less and getting hurt more, with one of them going against everything he did in the first season; this just angers me. And so when I watch season 2, I tend to skip most parts of the B plot (which makes me watch like 1 min of episode for “Lady Krillers” because the A plot is very meh. “Disco Do-Over” has an adorable A plot tho).
And last note about these plots, I didn’t mention “Field of Screams” and “Managing Murphy’s law” because I tend to forget about the first one that I find pretty meh (the entire episode, not just the B plot) and the second one has a B plot based on cringy humor and I’m not really into it, though I do really like hearing Jeremy getting more and more tired of Dakota and the hug at the end is such a cute and underrated Dakavendish moment. Also Dakota makes a dad joke near the beginning and I absolutely adore that.
I also didn’t mention “Freefall” because it’s fine. Dakota is being Dakota (and I adore this dork), we start to see Cav get genuinely angry about his job which sets the root for the second half of the season, there’s one scene in which the two are clearly very bored and for some reason it makes me laugh, and the action scene is fine (also damn Cavendish knows how to fly a plane !). But I find “Freefall” to be a good episode in general so yeah.
3. Zack and Melissa
 First thing first : I have nothing against the ship itself. I’m not a big shipper when it comes to child/teens characters but I completely understand why people ship them, and I agree that they have personalities that mix well together. And honestly, this point is probably my most minor complain.
That being said, I do believe that their relationship has basically no development. Or at least, if you compare them to other couples in the Dwampyverse. Because thing is, Dwampy tend to have pretty high standards when it comes to couples. I mean, if we look at every canon couple + a few fanon (aka “here’s my need to infodump about random stuff nobody cares about”. This part will be in italics so, if you want to skip it, you can see where it ends) :
- Phineas and Isabella : since the first episode, we see that Isabella is attracted to Phineas. And throughout the entire show, these two are always willing to help the other, with Isabella always wishing to help in any way she can with the project of the day and Phineas always wanting to make the best projects when it comes to Isabella (just look at how he gets upset in her birthday episode when the finale doesn’t go according to plan). So yeah, they’re two kids in love with a very sweet friendship that you know will evolve into a relationship once they get older and understand relationships better.
- Ferb and Vanessa : Ignoring “Act your Age”, this is the usual trope of a young kid falling in love with an older person. And just like with Phina/bella, it’s made clear that Ferb likes Vanessa and is willing to do anything for her.
- Candace and Jeremy : Same kind of relationships. Candace is clearly head-over-heels for him, Jeremy often gives her presents since the beginning of the show and overall is always patient and understanding to her. It’s very sweet and it’s satisfying to see them get together and know that they will stay that way.
- Linda and Lawrence : While we don’t see much of them, it’s made clear when they’re together that they genuinely love each other. Same for their respective parents.
- Vanessa and Monty : A very organic relationship. It’s two teens who find each other attractive and, after randomly finding each other in the same place, decide to talk and learn more about each other, eventually deciding to start dating. It’s pretty sweet.
- Sara and Neal : These two are just fucking adorable ! They’re two awkward nerds in love and the episode when they get together really plays onto this and it’s the most adorable thing. And while we don’t see much of them, at the beginning of “Love Toboggan”, it’s made clear that the two have seen each other enough for their respective families to know that they like each other.
- Amanda and Milo : Another duo of cuties. The idea of a relationship between them is hinted very early, in “Smooth Opera-tor” in which we see that Milo likes her. And throughout the show, we see them getting closer as Amanda learns to accept Murphy’s law and becomes a genuine friend to Milo. We also see that Milo really likes her and is always willing to help her in any way he can.
- Brigette and Martin : Probably the most underrated characters of the show. I simply adore these two ! They’re just really wholesome people, especially Brigette. She knew full well what she was getting into when she decided to marry into the Murphy family and it’s clear that she doesn’t have a single regret. Like the Flynn-Fletcher parents, they aren’t around that much but when they do you can tell they love each other.
And for some fanon ships :
- Buford and Baljeet : Basically an enemy to friends to lover trope. They start off as bully and nerd but, the more time they spend with Phineas and co, the more Buford shows off his sensitive side and learns more to respect Baljeet’s boundaries while Baljeet learns to stand up for himself. And by the end of the show, the two are genuinely close. Heck, even in “Act Your Age”, despite the canon ships, there’s one scene in which the guys tell Phineas that “guys don’t talk about their feelings”. After they say that, there’s an awkward silence and at the end of it you can see Buford and Baljeet look at each other before looking away with a sad expression, as if they did have feelings for each other but never talked about it because of the “boys don’t talk feelings” thing (which, in real life, is complete bullshit. Let men be emotive, dammit !). But yeah, these two have a friendship that grows over the show and is sometimes teased as if something else was going on there.
- Heinz and Perry : Fun fact : when I became an adult and started getting back into the show, I couldn’t help but laugh as I started to ship it because this is such a crackship on paper ! Also, everything related to Peter the Panda, especially “Time Out” and “Lost in Danville” is fucking hilarious because of how ridiculous it is. I love the Dwampyverse ! (and I just realized that I didn’t talk about the humans/objects canon couples but given that only one person can evolve in these relationships…yeah)
But looking at the show and the books, yeah, these two are like two people thrown into an arranged marriage and having to figure everything out. Even if they start off as enemies, they eventually get accustomed to each other, to the point of being each other’s most important person. We really feel it in season 4. In a lot of ways, these two are a lot like Buford and Baljeet (which a lot of people had already pointed out).
- Candace and Vanessa : This one is mostly based on how much Candace admires Vanessa in “Night of the Living Pharmacist” and honestly, it’s pretty alright. I can definitely see why people ship it as there’s definitely some material there and there with Candace trying to impress Vanessa and look cool in front of her.
- Cavendish and Dakota : Act like an old married couple 24/7 ; often have physical contact and never react to it, showing that it’s normal to them and that they’re very comfortable with each other, almost to the point of having no notion of personal space when it comes to each other ; call each other “partners” most of the time ; have known each other for at least 10 years given Cavendish’s change in appearance from “First Impressions” to ‘now’ ; have to share a room most of the time due to their work ; are compared to Perry and Heinz, aka Dan’s favorite fan ship (or at least it seems to be) ; would die for each other and are willing to do anything to keep their relationship going, including stopping a “break up” (Dakota’s words). What else is there to say ?
  So looking at all these relationships, including the fanon ones, it’s pretty clear that Dan and Swampy like to give out tons of shipping material. But Zack and Melissa ? They act like friends for most of the show. In season 1, the only episode that’s really shippy is “The Math Book” with how they play off of each other.
The saddest part with this relationship for the shippers is that in the PnF crossover, we start to get hints that they might be a couple, only for them to keep the exact same dynamic as season one up until the very last episode of season 2 in which suddenly they act like a couple most of the time. And before you point out “Escape”, it’s probably just me but the way Melissa tells Milo to hurry because “It starts to seem like a date”, followed by Zack saying “You wish” in such a neutral tone gives off the impression that they don’t want it to be a date. So yeah, by the end of the day, it feels like they only got together because 1. Disney likes straight people and 2. They’re the hero’s best friends.
Seriously, on youtube, there’s a video that’s a Zalis//sa compilation, and not only is the video only 6 minutes long, but most of these moments could come off as two friends acting like two friends. And for the video length : reminder that there’s a Milan//da video from the same person that’s 17 minutes long, Amanda being a character that appears like ten times less than Zack and Melissa; and there are also two Daka//vendish videos, both 10 minutes long each, and they barely cover like 1/3 of the episodes the duo show up in. Seriously, a fanon ship has a hundred more shipping material than a canon ship ! Honestly, Zalis//sa shippers were robbed.
I think the only other ship that has that little development (and by that I mean way less development) among major characters is the one between Baljeet and Ginger. Honestly for this ship : Ginger shows that she’s interested and it’s taken as a joke in season 1; in the bees episode, Ginger listens to Baljeet and, while Baljeet is happy that she’s listening, he’s mostly happy that someone is listening, regardless of who it is. Then we see them dance a few times in the background, including in a Halloween episode in which Buford and Baljeet were sharing a costume and, as Baljeet and Ginger start to dance, we have a shot of Buford not looking happy about this. And yet somehow they became a canon couple.
With this forced ship, I tend to accuse Disney being homophobic and refusing Buford and Baljeet to be both single at the end of the show (seriously Disney seems to be so homophobic that they allowed couples between humans and objects but refused any gay couple. At least they seem to have started to be more accepting with recent shows from what I’ve seen).
4. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
So I know it’s been talked about but it’s still a major point in this season so I have to talk about it. So : in Phineas and Ferb, Heinz is a motivated inventor who was able to make inators that worked, though his poor planning and some of his ideas often got the best of him. But overall, he was just a nice guy with a certain genius and who was trying to cope with his childhood trauma in the only ways he knew. He’s also one of the best fathers in all of animation, especially given how much baggage he has, but that’s not the topic here.
Then, when Dwampy made “The O.W.C.A. Files”, they decided to change Heinz’s personality. Suddenly, he was a complete klutz who’s can’t do anything right and just pisses people off. And when they made MML, they kept this personality trait. It also doesn’t help that quite a lot of focus is put on him, which renders him even more annoying. I won’t develop much on his flaws because, again, others already did before. Instead, since so many people already talked about what was wrong with Doof in this show, I actually want to talk about the good moments that Heinz has in MML.
So, to cite a few : First off, the PnF crossover. Yes he does mess up his time machine with orange juice but that’s like his only mistake. Overall, he’s seen to be a great inventor who quickly understands the Pistachions’ weakness after spilling juice on a plant and immediately creates a plan around it. And speaking of which, I also really like how, when he meets the group at the beginning and is told to be a hero, he asks “What do you base your assumption on ?” (not a direct quote), which really shows that yes, he’s a scientist who thinks like one.
The moments where he butts head with Cavendish are also pretty good, especially with how what he says is only the truth : he’s not Professor Time, he’s just some random inventor, and Cavendish feeling so much deception is his own fault for idolizing someone. Thinking about it, it might actually be the only moments in the show in which he’s seen as more mature than another major character.
And overall, he’s just his PnF self in this episode. Like, there’s also how he talks to Diogee and, later, when Milo puts some pressure on him by reminding him of the stakes, he goes “I’m going to go back to talk to the dog”.
As for some other good appearances : “Spy Little Sister” has Heinz show up for a very little and it really works with making him a lot like how he was in PnF (honestly the lightbulb accident seems like something he’ll do in PnF. Heck, in the first part of the episode, he reminds me of how he is in “Doof 101”, episode in which the problems are caused by the annoying bugs and not him).
“Disco Do-Over” does a clever use of the “I am a superstar” video, though Heinz is a bit obnoxious in this episode.
The season 2 finale has Heinz once again act like a scientist when he asks the Octalian about shape-shifting.
Finally, I really like the friendship between him and Dakota. The two are definitely bad for each other and that’s what makes their interactions interesting. Though, I would have loved to see some time spent on pointing out the fact that Dakota grew up seeing Heinz as a hero. And on that same note, I would have loved to see a bit more of Cavendish interacting with Heinz, especially after Heinz and Dakota became “friends” (the last episodes give off the feeling that now that they made up with their respective partner, they aren’t going to hang out with each other).
So yeah, Heinz does have his moments in which he works pretty well. But most of these moments are in episodes in which he’s a minor character. When the show starts to focus more on him, he’s just annoying and immature, which is really sad given how great he was in PnF.
5. The humor
 Now it’s time to get the claws out. Seriously, this part was meant to be short but I can tell from what my brain has in mind that I’m going to give a long rant. To be honest this wasn’t even really supposed to be a big thing to point out, like I could’ve put this at the end with the other “minor complains”. But one thing pisses me off so it’s now its own part.
So to make things clear first : when I talk about the humor, I’m talking about one kind of joke that the show has done since season 1 but that feels off in season 2. I’m talking about the jokes that go on for a while, sometimes too long; especially too long in season 2.
I think a good example of a long joke made right is in “Party of Peril”, when we have to watch Elliot get attacked by a duck for like 50 seconds. It’s a joke that probably goes on for too long but let’s be honest it’s hilarious, along with creating the recurring joke of ducks hating Elliot.
In season 2, they kept trying to make these kinds of jokes there and there; but for some reason it doesn’t really work. I have two examples : the first one is in “Teacher’s Feature” in which we spend 20 seconds on Scott dancing in a cringy way while the kids comment on it. And I swear as I’m writing that I’m considering checking the length because it feels like 40 seconds, not 20, and that’s the problem. Watching the scene, they could have easily cut out 5 seconds of him dancing with music to go directly to the part where there’s no music but he keeps going. Seriously. They definitely could have made this joke shorter.
But the worst to me, the absolute worst, is in “Cavendish Unleashed”. OOOH BOY the fucking waste they did there.
So in this episode, there’s a joke that plays out 3 times, two times the same way and a third time with a slight difference. The joke is about people wanting to sign a paper to destroy then protect the forest, only to get crushed by the alien and being unable to use their hand. To put it simply, this joke is boring. It doesn’t even feel like a joke ! It’s just 15 then another 15 and then a whole 20 seconds (more or less) wasted on this shit. And I swear I also want to go check the length because I remember that when I first saw the episode, the third joke felt like it went on for two minutes. It’s not fun, it’s just boring.
But what’s the problem with that ? Simple : the ending of the episode. At the end of the episode, Cavendish talks with the main trio, learns that Milo was the abductee and then tells the teens to leave. And they just leave, asking no questions whatsoever. Like hello ???? Cavendish has been missing for days, maybe weeks ??? Dakota is desperate to find him ??? Haven’t Dakota told the kids that Cavendish was missing ??? Hadn’t they noticed during “Cast Party” and even before or after that Dakota wasn’t with Cavendish anymore ??? WHY IS NOBODY ASKING QUESTIONS ???? Why didn’t the kids go like “Oh yeah, we saw Cavendish today” to Dakota ??? Why waiting DAYS before telling him ??? Hell, in “Escape”, he talks about finding Cavendish like the kids knew ! So what the hell was that all about ?!
Seriously. Would it have been too hard to remove that dumb recurring joke and instead have an angsty scene in which Milo points out that Cavendish is considered missing, only for Cav to feel bad about it, making us feel for him, and then tell the kids that he’s doing what he believes is for the best and then ask them to keep it a secret from Dakota ? How come the only time we see Cav feel bad about leaving is in a fan animation ?
This seriously pisses me off. The whole arc about Cavendish going rogue could have been one of my favorites. We could’ve seen him struggle to live, think about what he’s doing and why, feel homesick or missing Dakota and the others. Hell, he’s been stuck alone and conscious in an ice cube for who knows how long, so why did he never take the time to reflect during that time ? And yes he was conscious. When he gets trapped, his eyes move and when he’s saved, he’s able to protect his face the very moment the ice break, showing that he was well-aware of Dakota breaking the cube.
But no. Instead, this arc spends like 30% of its screen time on Cavendish doing a Candace-like joke about trying to show the ship and 70% of the screen-time on Dakota sulking. And in the last episode, there’s a scene in which Cav complains about Octalia, only to be remembered that he can save the planet; and then he goes on a rant about how he’s going to be the hero of Octalia, showing that he didn’t learn a fucking thing from his arc.
This pisses me off. This really pisses me off. No wonder I wrote like 5 oneshots around that arc. I need to get that “Cavendish is struggling” angst juice one way or another.
And speaking of bad arcs…
6. Zack’s plot
 So in the first episode of the season (not counting the crossover), the characters talk about how Zack is a coward who tries to get over his fears. Ok so first question : since when is Zack considered a coward ? I mean, he’s very cautious when it comes to Murphy’s law, yes, but being cautious is not the same as being a coward. Besides, Murphy’s law is dangerous. And for most of the episodes, his reactions are the same as Melissa and Milo, when Milo gets scared. As for his fear of fish, anyone can have these kinds of irrational fears. Also there’s the Halloween episode in which it’s made clear that he doesn’t have much fears aside from the fear of dying from the unpredictable, hence his usual resentment with Murphy’s law.
It’s also worth mentioning that MML follows the trope of having a group with two guys and one girl; with one guy being the main character, the girl being the smart one and the second guy being the coward or the forgettable one in certain shows. I think this might be one of the reasons why there’s this idea that Zack is a coward.
But aside from the fact that, in my personal opinion, this plot comes out of nowhere, there’s also the problem that we barely see it at all. I mean, in “Snow Way out”, it’s put into the story. Then they completely forget about it and Zack goes back to act chill and cautious until “Freefall” whose entire plot revolves around Zack being fearful (again, rightfully fearful given the situation). Then it’s dropped again until “The Mid-Afternoon Snack Club” with the idea that Zack feels overshadowed by Milo (which, honestly, sounds like a more interesting arc than the whole fear thing). And finally, it’s dropped yet again until the very last episode in which they keep insisting that he has no fear anymore.
Seriously, am I the only one seeing this ? Or am I just bad at noticing the character growth ?
7. Smaller pet peeves
 So that last point is a list of small things that bother me in this season but that I don’t see myself write 10 paragraphs about :
- Most of the supporting cast needed more screentime. Seriously, characters like Neal and Veronica basically don’t exist this season, Sara also has a much more minor role, Bradley desperately needs some kind of character arc, most of the school characters and staff are also pretty absent (we miss you Drako !), Brick and Savannah only appear twice, once being a cameo in front of a pistachio cart,  and I’m sure there’s more that I forgot.
- A very personal opinion so it’s not really a pet peeve but time travel was much more interesting than aliens, though the plots were pretty similar with the people involved trying to get to Milo, only for Murphy’s law to occur and ruin their plan. Also, while I really like the captain/leader, the two guys sent to capture Milo are your usual comedic duo, like the two small devils in Disney’s Hercules (I don’t know their name in English, I only know that they’re named “Peur” and “Panique” in French).
And fun fact, “Spy Little Sister” is probably my favorite episode of the season, and while watching it, I really had a feeling of “god I missed that” when time-travel occurred. Though, I’ll admit, the aliens plot does a much better job using Murphy’s law, not only with the aliens failing constantly because of it but also especially in the finale with each character having their own backpack to “fight against it”.
- Bob Block. There was some potential with that character (*cough* villain *cough*). Though, I won’t develop here because I already did at the beginning of another post.
- The episode “Game Night” is weird to me. Like, it’s not a bad episode, on the contrary it’s a great one, but at the same time I find myself not liking it. I think the main problem is that it should’ve been a season 1 episode due to the whole thing with the deadly vortex and how Cavendish and Dakota somehow knew what it was. Also I feel like there’s a waste of characters. I mean, we get the Murphy parents, Neal and Cav and Dakota and yet it feels like the episode is mostly focused on the main trio + Sara. Also Veronica was robbed. They could have easily removed the whole vortex thing, hence removing Cavendish and Dakota from the story, and have Veronica with the group instead. Look I love the two time-travelling idiots but other characters deserve some spotlight too.
Besides, thinking about it, it’s a bit sad that Cavendish and Dakota don’t really interact with the others when they’re on screen. There’s like 5 people in the room and yet we either see them talk to each other or to the group in general (though to be honest this disconnect between characters even when they’re in the same room is also in the crossover and the season 2 finale).
So yeah, this episode is weird. It has tons of elements that should make me love it (the Murphy parents; Neal; Melissa being Melissa; Dakota being Dakota; some Daka//vendish, including a 3 seconds argument that has some of the biggest “old married couple” energy we’ve seen in this show; Milo and Sara being overly dramatic babies; the Veronica cameo). And yet, I somehow can’t find myself really liking it. It’s weird.
  So, overall, it was still a pretty good and solid season. Most episodes were pretty fun and enjoyable. But they were still a lot of small issues that, in my opinion, makes season 1 much better; and when I decide to watch random moments of the show or watch full episodes, I tend to mostly pick in that first season.
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blvescarf · 5 years
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MEET THE MUSE ( repost, don’t reblog )
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► NAME? Vinny Yukino! ► ARE YOU SINGLE? MY DARLING, YOU’RE DEAD!! ...Yeah. Sorry, had a headache. ► ARE YOU HAPPY? I mean, I’m happy ghosts exist, but I’m about to die. I guess I can laugh at being killed by a sentient plant. Guess the hedge trimmed me back! ► ARE YOU ANGRY? At the plant? Yes. In general? No. ► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? Happily!
LOVE LIFE
► ARE YOU IN LOVE? Yeah! LOUISE, PLEASE OPEN YOUR EYES!! ► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? Yup! ► WHO/WHAT ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? YOU CAN’T BE DEAD! DON’T LEAVE ME!! ...I don’t remember. ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ...There was that one ghost lady’s locket thingy. It dropped on the ground when I got pulled away. It was shaped like a heart, does that count? ► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? I fear nothing. ► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? I doubt it.
CHOICES
► LOVE OR LUST? Love! ► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA? Iced tea. ► CATS OR DOGS? Dogs!! ► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS? A few best friends. Well, one in my case. ► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN? Is the wild night out at a haunted house? Because I don’t like parties. ► DAY OR NIGHT? Night time!
HAVE YOU EVER’S
► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT? Never! I might as well be a ninja. ► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS? ...How do you fall up the stairs? ► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT?? I want to REMEMBER find ghosts. ► WANTED TO DISAPPEAR? I mean, when I’m hiding.
PREFERENCES
► THEIR SMILE OR THEIR EYES? Both. ► FAT OR SKINNY? I don’t care. ► SHORTER OR TALLER? ...Everyone is taller than me. ► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION? If you can talk about cryptids for two uninterrupted hours with me, I will give you head. ► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP? Relationships.
FRIENDS
► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS? I only have the one, except for my dog. And nope! ► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS? Heck yeah I do! ► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Artie and Mystery! ► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU? Probably Artie. And my Grandpa.
tagged by: @ghxstgal tagging: nobody, too lazy.
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