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falloutjay · 3 years

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Wait, you are my hero? - Kenny x Reader

This is my first ever published x Reader fanfiction ever and I tried my best.

Just as a disclaimer, its not fully proofread, so I am already sorry for that and English also isn’t my first language so sorry again. I hope you guys do enjoy it tho.

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Kenny McCormick/Mysterion x Reader

You walked around South Parks nightlife district, the so called "SoDoSoPa" with your good friend Bebe, when you heard a loud sound from a few streets away. People were running and screaming, some were on their phone calling the police. Curiously, you ran towards the noise, like some others.

"YN, stay here! That's too dangerous!" Bebe called, while she sprinted after you. Coming closer to where fires were already rising, you saw him.

"It's me! Professor Chaos! Scream like the little ants you are!" Professor Chaos was a super villain that had been terrorizing the town for quite a while now. He and General Disarray were feared individuals that only cared about creating chaos and nothing more. But he was not the reason you and others remained here, while most people would leave. People like you stayed for the Professors sworn enemies. The superheroes that protected this town. There weren't many, especially good ones, but one in particular made your head spin, when you heard his name.

"YN please. Let us leave. It's dangerous!" Bebe pleaded looking around the street. Professor Chaos had blown up a construction side and the fires where ravaging among the building. He stood on top of it laughing like a maniac with Disarray be his side.

"We can't leave. I want to see him."

"You're insane!" Bebe said again and looked around, obviously distressed.

"Come on, where are you." You whispered and your hand clutched onto your phone.

You hope to finally snap a picture of him personally instead of always cutting out the imagines in the newspaper or magazines.

People were still screaming when a roaring sound broke through.

Your eyes grew wide and you pressed record on your phone, holding it in the direction of the sound. A purple motorbike came around the corner and the person on it looked just as amazing as you imagined. His purple cape moved beautifully behind him, when he pulled off a sick drift and stopped the bike.

Mysterion, the most badass and beloved hero arrived. You worshipped this man.

In your opinion he was simply amazing. He was strong, courageous, and not afraid to die. You were so busy drooling over this hero, that you didn't noticed Bebe shaking your arm and screaming about the fire. Then a second hero arrived.

The somewhat hated "Coon".

He stood there, somewhat out of breath while screaming at Mysterion. "Ah, Mysterion, my arch enemy." Professor Chaos laughed evilly and pointed at him from the top of the building.

"I'm here too Chaos!" The Coon screamed. Professor Chaos didn't even give him a glace and just waved his hand, while he laughed.

"Today, I will put an end to your hero career Mysterion." "Oh yeah? I'd love to see that." The purple clothed hero retorted cockily and laughed. “Stop ignoring me for fucks sake!” The Coon screamed angrily, stomping his foot on the ground.

"We will see who will be laughing at the end. Disarray!" Professor Chaos screamed and suddenly you felt yourself being pulled.

You screamed before a hand was put over your mouth. You managed to turn your head a little bit and catch a glimpse of the right-hand man of Professor Chaos, General Disarray. "I have someone, Professor!" He called out to the gigantic seeming blonde and he laughed evilly once more.

"I have a hostage, Mysterion. Now your chances are significantly smaller than ever!" He laughed again and thunder struck behind him.

"Mysterion?" He called out, after he noticed that the hero was nowhere to be seen. You felt yourself getting pushed around a lot and heard some fighting noises before strong hands grabbed you. You let out a quick scream, before you saw into deep blue eyes. You noticed immediately that Mysterion had saved you. You sadly had not seen much of the fight, like you wished you had. He must have looked amazing.

"Run. Now. Get out of here." He said in his extremely deep voice and you needed a second before you could process everything that had just happened, but you managed to nod hesitantly before you took off running. Running for your dear life. You kept a tight grip on your phone in your pocket and when you finally reached the street in which you lived, you took a short second to catch your breath. "What the..." You mumbled somewhat scared and giddy.

Hastily you took out your phone and looked through your gallery. Your heart started beating faster when you took a good look at the beautiful snapshot you took of Mysterion while he arrived on his motorcycle.

"That's so gonna be in my locker at work." You mumbled, smiling like an idiot and you probably were one. You barely managed to escape the sticky situation, but you felt like it was somewhat worth it.

For you it was worth it.

Your little obsession with Mysterion started back when you were in High School and he saved a little girl that was almost run over by a car. Back then he was not all that professional like he was today. He apparently received some funding by the government which allowed him to have that cool motorcycle and a little headquarters. No one knew who he was or where he stashed all of his belongings. But he was a hero. To the town and for you personally.

A little squeal escaped your lips, before you went to shower and then straight to bed. Mysterion was the only thing on your mind during all of this.

When your phone rang early in the morning, you were already up and going about your day. You had the picture you endangered yourself for yesterday already printed out and in your work bag.

You worked for a little company belonging to Eric Cartman. He founded it a few years back and it changed its focus ever so often.

Eric paid you well and that's what kept you in the job. When it was time to leave you simply got into your car and started driving to the outskirts of the town where Eric had his little company. You parked on your employee parking space and saw one of your close friends and also colleagues walk up.

Stan Marsh.

He was honestly better than this job, but he simply wanted to escape his father for some time, because he hated the weed farm he owned, and Eric promised him some good money.

"Morning Stan!" You called out and waved towards the raven haired. He waved back and quickly jogged up to you.

"Hey, YN. Did you hear about the whole thing yesterday with Professor Chaos?" He asked and you showed your phone.

"Already read all the articles aaaand..." You quickly pulled up the snapshot you managed to sneak yesterday. Stans eyes grew wide.

"Woah! You were there?" "Yeah! And the girl that almost got kidnapped by Disarray? That was me." You smiled and Stan shook his head. "weren't you with Bebe yesterday?"

"Yeah." You began, as the two of you sat down at your desks. "She's somewhat pissed about me standing around in danger but she's happy I wasn't hurt." Stan smiled warmly at you and you guys talked for some more until Cartman strolled into your shared office.

"Okay. Okay. So... I want a new article about Coon for my blog and I need you, Stan, to please sort out the client data and phone anyone who hasn't bought our new merch." Eric said and pointed at the "Who is the Coon?"-T-Shits and Hoodies that hang on the wall.

"But no one likes the Coon?" Stan questioned and Erics face grew a little red. "Everyone loves the Coon. Mysterion is just some asshat who plays dress up and tries to mingle with the professionalism of the Coon." Eric said through gritted teeth and Stan and you rolled your eyes.

"Sure thing." Stan mumbled and started typing. "YN, for today, please research me some new money-making ideas." You nodded and went searching.

Hours went by in which Stan and you would love to just bang your head against the tables. "Why is he so obsessed with the Coon? You could almost think he is the Coon." Stan mumbled. "Almost but... You never know. I mean, we probably will never know who Mysterion is." You answered and filled out the papers needed for a new money-making idea. Last time you guys tried NSFW-Patreon drawings; the problem was though that none of you could produce enough hentai to keep up with the demand. You guys did not notice that you had been working for a while until two beautiful blonde-haired boys poked their head in.

"You guys coming for lunch?" Butters asked. "Yeah, haven't noticed it's lunchtime yet." You said and peeked at your watch. "Hardworking as always." Butters smiled and just now you noticed he had a black eye.

"Butters, what happened there?" Stan asked and he looked scared for a second. "Just some guy who beat me up at the bar, nothing to worry about fellas." He smiled and honest to God, he was just a little sunshine all around. Unlike the blonde next to him.

Kenny was more of a player and very down to earth. He was super charismatic and confident despite his troubled upbringing.

You packed your bag and followed the guys.

Kenny didn't work for Cartman. He worked in a small car shop just a few buildings away. You didn't know why he refused to work with Cartman, but you could guess it was maybe due to Cartman being a little shit sometimes and him telling the blond always "You're pooooor Kiiinny."

Maybe Cartman’s terrible attitude really was the reason the blonde refused to work for him and only came here to have lunch with you all. "Where are we eating?"

You asked and watched Stan and Butters discuss on where to go. "How about Cafe Monet?" Stan proposed and you all agreed. Well, not really, Kenny didn't agree, he just tagged along. Once you all arrived and you were seated you guys searched through the Menu.

Kenny didn't and you knew he wasn't going to order since he was adamant about saving everything he had.

You know that since he once told you that he was saving everything he had for his sister.

You had met Karen a few times and she was a pure little angle, so you felt hard for the blond.

It melted your heart that he was trying so hard to better himself and help his siblings. Feeling generous you slid your Menu over to the blonde and smiled. "Pick something. It's on me." You whispered and he eyed you confused.

"I don't need some charity shit or something. I'm fine with eating my lunch later." He said, his blond bangs framing his face elegantly. "I know. Just see it as a friend treating a friend." You whispered back and he gifted you a half smile and went to look what he would like. Finally, you decided on a nice Fav/Dish and Kenny picked a bit of fish with potatoes and greens.

"Eating all healthy?" You questioned when the waiter out down the plate in front of him. "Yes. Staying fit is important." He said and winked confidently. You were so busy talking to the blond next to you, you did not notice the topic of your other two friends. "No no, YN was the girl." You turned your head to look at Stan pointing at you. "Huh, sorry, what was that?" You asked and Stan laughed.

"You were the girl who got almost caught up in professor Chaos evil plan weren't you?" Butters looked at you with wide eyes. He seemed trembling.

"Oh yeah, that was me. General Disarray was about to take me somewhere, but I was saved."

"Why were you there anyway?" Kenny asked with a full mouth. "Snapping pics of her crush." You eyed Stan angrily.

"He's not my crush."

"Tell that to your locker." You rolled your eyes.

"I managed to snap some good pics of Mysterion. I mean.... look!"

You digged out your phone from your pockets and showed the pictures around. "You should be a photographer or something I mean, damn. His ass Looks amazing in this one." Kenny said and inspected the pictures intensely.

"Don't encourage her to endanger herself anymore. And besides that, I don't think Mysterion would want to bang your boney ass." Stan commented snarky.

"Still more ass than you, flat cake." The blonde retorted and you and Butters simply watched the small verbal fight between them, before the two of you talked about some fashion things you knew about.

After lunch it was all back to work. It was getting tiresome around the last hour and it felt like a horrible drag. But eventually, you were finally done. You walked outside, together with Stan and you stood there.

"You need a ride home?" You asked him and he shook his head.

"Nah, I'm eating out with my family today. Just a small way to walk." You nodded and the two of you bid your goodbyes.

You got into your car and let out a deep breath. Work was tiring today, and you felt like just relaxing at home. It would be nice to maybe fill your bathtub with some loving hot water, some candles would also be nice. And cake. Yes. A cake would be needed.

So, you decided to make a small stop at the bakery before you would go home. You left your parking space and began driving through the night as you noticed a special someone sitting at a bench at the bus stop. You pulled the car up to the bench and rolled down you window.

"Kenny, what are you doing here?"

The blonde looked up from his phone and seemed surprised that you stood or rather parked there.

"Oh, I'm just waiting for the bus, the usual." He said and looked around. "But I feel like it's not coming."

He shrugged and you leaned over to open your car door.

"Hop in, I'll bring you home." You said and he reluctantly got it.

"Stop being nice, I feel like I am taking advantage." He mumbled and closed the door.

"What happened to your truck?" You asked, wondering what must have happened that Kenny had to take the bus.

"Some stupid racoons infested it and bit through some cables. I can swap them, but I had to order them online and it takes a while until they arrive." He crossed his arms, thinking about how much he wanted to strangle those stupid racoons.

"Honestly, I'm starting to see a pattern on why Coon is a raccoon."

Kenny laughed wholeheartedly with you. "That's the best thing I heard about him." Kenny bit his lip and wondered if it was okay for him to ask what he had on his mind for a while.

"Now that you already picked me up and all that..." You stole a quick glance at him before your eyes went straight back to the road. You nodded to signal him to continue.

"Would you mind hanging out for the evening?" He asked, charming as ever.

You thought about it for a moment.

"Sure, why not. I'll still get me some cake though." You said and pointed at the approaching bakery.

"Why?" He questioned curiously as you parked swiftly in front of the store.

"I feel like taking a nice long bath later and maybe I'll relax with some cake."

"You don't need cake to relax when you can have me."

Kenny's smile was incredibly devious and playfully. Normally girls would probably freak out or something about this comment, but between you and Kenny it had become somewhat normal.

"No thanks. The cake won't disappoint me after thirty seconds." You said and got out.

Kenny wanted to protest but you simply smiled devilishly and went straight into the store. Kenny used this time he was given to think of some witty comebacks.

He was not gonna let you have the last word about this. When you came back to the car, and got in, you were told: "You don't need to hide that you just wanna masturbate and think about Mysterion while touching yourself.

Kenny sat there with a smug expression and you rolled your eyes. You placed the package in the back and then gave him a light punch onto the arm.

"That one was good, I'll admit that. But you know, I'd rather think about Mysterion than be touched by you." You said and laughed.

Kenny needed to laugh too, mainly because the whole topic was simply in his favor, even when you were not aware of that.

"Ah, I love our banter." Kenny said and got comfortable in the passenger seat while he watched you drive.

"So do I. Oh, by the way, I got you and Karen some cake too. You'll treat me another time."

"Treat you with my dick? Or would you like my tongue?"

"If your name isn't Mysterion, no chance."

It was more banter to you than actually real. You were not that horny for Mysterion.

Everyone just loved to make this shitty joke at your expense ever so often, but you honestly didn't mind.

"Ah come on. And if I get a costume like his and change my voice a little?"

"Still no chance. Sorry Ken."

That still was a stupid lie. You sure were attracted to Kenny, I mean, who wouldn't. He was a tall, dirty blonde, blue-eyed hard-working man, with a soft spot for his family and great humor. You weren't surprised when you learned how many girls had little crushes on him. He was good looking and even when he wasn't the wealthiest, he was a kindhearted soul.

When you finally reach your apartment complex the two of you got out and Kenny followed you patiently to the fourth floor. Inside your apartment he went straight for the couch and relaxed. You let him be but reminded him of the no shoes rule. He begrudgingly took of his heavy and run-down boots and put them aside. He also, to your surprise, took of his orange trademark parka and tossed it into a corner.

"You'll pick it up later." You remarked from the kitchen when you saw him do that.

"Yeah, Yeah, I will."

You knew full when that he just said that so you wouldn't start a discussion with him. You knew that but still let it slide. For now, at least. You prepared a little sandwich for yourself before you plopped down onto the couch next to the blond.

"So, what are we doing?" You asked with your mouth full and he shrugged.

"How about you take that bath you were talking about and I watch you do so."

Did this shit eating grin ever leave his face?

"Nah, I'm good." You said and smiled back.

"Ah come on." He whined but laughed immediately after.

"Let's just watch some TV." You proposed and snagged the remote to put something on.

You guys were just lazily watching some random show while also being on your phones. All that was on your mind was that bath though. You loved Kenny to death but right now you were just craving some hot warm water all around you.

"Would you mind if I take that bath I was talking about? I really feel like I need that."

You said and the blonde smiled without taking his eyes off the phone. "I'd need you naked too."

You threw one of the couch pillows at him and pretended to laugh.

"Ha ha ha. You're sooo funny, it almost hurts me." You said, got up and walked into your bathroom to start the water.

In the next minutes you were setting up the candles and got your cake ready. When the water was almost ready, Kenny leaned in the doorway and watched you ignite the last candles.

"Jeez, you're going all out. Looks nice though." He said and gave you a low whistle.

"You wanna have me join you sweetheart?" He said and walked over to your kneeling figure. Kenny also got down to one knee and basically massaged your shoulders. You let out a deep sigh and rolled your eyes.

"Hey, Ken, listen, I really appreciate you and love our jokes and shit, but I don't think we should bang. It would be like... I don't know, super awkward if we had something and then just keep being friends and all that. And You're a great friend and I don't want to lose you, you know."

Kenny's smile faded and he frowned a little. "YN, I fucked so many girls and guys and I'm friendly with most of them and even their old or new partners. I'm sure it won't change a thing." He said charmingly and turned your head towards his.

You stared deeply into his eyes and you inspected the beautiful bright blue spots that highlighted it and the dark blue edges, while your heads came closer. You had never seen Kenny’s eyes up close.

And suddenly it struck you.

It felt like an ice cube slide down your spine and you trembled. You pulled your head back and basically fell onto your ass. Kenny eyed you confused and offered you a hand to get back up.

"No, I'm fine... I-I'll just take the bath if you don't mind." You laughed nervously and still confused Kenny nodded and held up his hands in defense.

"I get it, I get it. You won't resist me forever." He smiled and walked out. You were left there, breathing away the strange feeling of panic.

You quickly undressed yourself and went into the hot water. It calmed your racing thoughts down for a little bit and you managed to order them.

The blue, the highlights, the dark edges that formed a beautiful circle. The few freckles underneath the eyes. Why did Mysterion and Kenny have identical eyes? What, How, why, just... Argh!

You began stuffing yourself with cake and tried your best to make any sense of the situation. Was Kenny Mysterion, or did they just have similar eyes?

Or... You thought about it long and hard and eventually.... It kind of just... Clicked?

It made sense.

Kenny was living alone, he was young, in shape, the piecing blue eyes, the need to protect others, some jokes he made... It... It just fitted together like a puzzle.

You quickly finished up your bath and went outside after blowing out the candles.

"What a view." Kenny joked from the couch and you just went straight into your bedroom.

This perverted guy you were close friends with was really the pure and kindhearted Mysterion? In your head it barely made any sense but you kind of just felt like your theory was correct.

You got dressed quickly and just sat on your bed, trying to picture the blond in the purple costume without the hood.

It just fit.

The height, the figure.

Everything.

After a few minutes you heard a knock on your door and carefully Kenny came in.

"Good, you're dressed. Even if I don't mind you in less clothes."

You didn't respond or gave him any attention.

"YN, is everything, all right? You're suddenly so wei- You're Mysterion, aren't you?" You interrupted him and looked straight at him.

He seemed surprised, taken back, unsure.

Everything, Kenny was normally not.

"Me? Mysterion? Sweetheart, was the water too hot?" He laughed when he collected himself again.

"No. Not at all. When Mysterion saved me, he starred straight into my eyes. You guys have the same eyes, freckles, skin tone." You said and waved your hands around.

"I guess no point in denying then. I should have been more careful." He said and sat down next to you.

"Please keep it to yourself. I'm sure if someone knows who I am, they will target the people I'm trying to protect." He said and his hand went through his hair.

"Does anyone else know?" You questioned and he shook his head.

"Nope. Not even Karen. It is dangerous if someone knows who I am. So, I always kept it a secret. I guess my only mistake was trying to fuck you after you were that close to Mysterion but..." He grinned evilly, "You said no one could fuck you except Mysterion. So... Here I am." His hand moved from his head to his knees, presenting himself.

"I wish I was as confident as you." You mumbled.

"I can't believe the hero I always looked up to is... You?" You said, raising and eyebrow and inspecting the blonde once more.

"Disappointed?" He questioned and tilted his head.

"I don't know."

"You wanna know what's funny to me?"

You looked at him, waiting for his reply, but as soon as you saw that shit eating grin on his face, you knew it'd be bad.

"That ass you admired and took pictures of was mine. The guy in your locker is me. It is so funny. You obsessed over me, without knowing it was me. That's so fucking funny, I wish I could tell someone."

He laughed his ass off and fell onto your bed. He just kept saying how funny it is and you felt more and more like a fool.

"Can you shut up, this is embarrassing and confusing you asshat." He finally got back up and held his hands up in a defensive manner.

"Woah, woah, no need to be so hostile." He spoke. You simply rolled your eyes.

"I love that I now have more material to make fun of you. But also, I feel flattered that you love me, without having seen this beautiful face."

"Someday you'll choke on that humongous ego of yours."

"I'd rather choke you."

You had a small starring contest and you lost when you just busted out laughing.

"So, now that you know my secret, I'm sure you will not say anything about it..." He asked and took your hand.

"I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Good, otherwise I'd have to kill you." He said in his Mysterion voice and the grip on your hand got stronger. You felt scared for a second, before he smiled again.

"Just a joke." You just nodded.

"Ahh, come on Sweetheart..." You looked at him again and he had this smug expression once more.

"Don't you love this." And he switched the voice again.

Still somewhat embarrassed and also confused because the guy you had a small crush on turned out to be a friend of yours, your cheeks heat up and immediately Kenny picked up on it.

"I can tell you like it." He whispered into your ear.

"Dude, this feels like some weird roleplay or something." You giggled.

"We can make it that. I still have some of my older costumes."

You laughed once more and bit your lip, while Kenny pushed you slowly onto your bed and got on top of you.

"Oh, shut up Mysteribitch."

"Oh, I'll make you my bitch."

He laughed, before he slowly pressed his lips onto yours. His lips felt somewhat rough and at the same time smooth, kind of just like you imagined what it'd be like.

And also, just like you imagined, his tongue found its way into your mouth rather quickly.

You continued making out for quite a while and honestly, to you it felt like heaven. But eventually you carefully pressed your hands against his chest after they had wandered down from his soft hair and you pressed him away.

"What... Don't tell me you're thinking about this staying friends shit again." He said somewhat aggravated. You shook your head.

"No, I just wanted to ask if you could bring one of those old costumes next weekend. Maybe we can pick up on that roleplay idea." You whispered against his lips and he smiled into the now following kiss.

"Good. I was just gonna say that I don't wanna be friends. I kinda wanna be more. I like you a lot YN." He whispered in-between the kisses.

"I'm fine with that." You whispered back and the two of you just smiled into the many kisses you now shared. And pretty much, just like you expected, it didn't take long for Kenny’s hands to roam around your body and finally wandered underneath your shirt.

You did not just make out that night.

It led to much more and you loved every second of it. When your alarm woke you up in the morning, it felt strange to feel these strong arms around you. You carefully woke Kenny up and told him it was time to get up.

"I don't wanna. It's so nice here. The view it to die for." He said as you got up.

"Go shower. I'll drop you off at work."

"Fine." He mumbled and walked past you, naked.

"The pure confidence of this man."

You got dressed and ready for work, as did Kenny begrudgingly. While you also made him a bit of lunch, he stole some kisses ever so often. You honestly were surprised at this, you imagined this part differently, but of course you did not complain. When you were finally in your car and on your way to work, he proposed an idea.

"Okay, so of you wanna do that roleplay shit, I'll Go the extra mile. Just for you, I'll surprise you with the whole thing. Just leave your window open next weekend and you might be visited by the hero with the great ass." He winked.

You bit your lip, feeling aroused just thinking about it.

"I will do so. Hope Mysterions dick is as good as my boyfriends." You teased and Kenny laughed rather hard.

"Feels strange hearing you say that, but I can get used to it."

"Good." You answered and you two smiled like idiots, thinking all about your crazy plans, while you pulled into your parking space.

"You walk over to your work?" You questioned as you saw Stan approaching from the corner of your eye.

"Yeah. See you at lunch, Babe." He pressed a final kiss onto your lips and took off to his own work.

Stan whistled as you caught up to him.

"I thought you were crushing on Mysterion?" Stan questioned with a smile on his thin lips.

"I kinda got over it. Kenny's a pretty good catch anyway, I think he's the closest to Mysterion that there is." You smiled and Stan laughed at your comment.

"If You say so."

"Oh, you don't know the half of it." You smiled, knowing this secret between you and Kenny will spice thing up in your relationship.

#kenny mccormick #south park #kenny x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #oc #mysterion

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veinereastath · 4 years

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Far Cry: New Dawn was a disaster, and here’s why.

Okay, just to be clear - this is my personal opinion, not pure, cold facts that I’m trying to push down people’s throats. I just felt the sudden urge to break down piece by piece my utter hatred towards this game. So, let’s go. What exactly went wrong with it, and why Far Cry 5 was way better? I will try to present my ramblings and point of view by putting both of these games side by side. So, when reading every sentence in this... thing, add in your head a “it’s vei’s opinion” bit to avoid misunderstandings. Thanks in advance! First thing, to make everything clear - Far Cry 5 was not a perfect game. No, actually, it was far from so; there are many games much better plot-wise, with more entertaining gameplay, bigger world, more interesting side quests and so on. But, one thing for sure, this game has a spirit, an unique aura that makes many people want to come back to it and replay it over and over. The way Ubisoft portrayed Hope County is absolutely fantastic - the music, the landscapes, the characters. It was something new, something fresh, and despite quite a lot sceptical voices when the first trailers came out, it turned out really well, and in general, people really liked this game, or loved it even. Yeah, some people hate the endings, the fact that every single one of them is bad one way or the other and that you can’t basically win (I always thought this was fantastic, because, hey, you can’t be a perfect hero every time - even so, I love how this game, Seeds especially, mock the “hero attitude” that protagonist tries to have). But even so, Far Cry 5 was mostly a success, right? And the canon ending when the nukes get dropped seemed to leave a perfect opportunity for a sequel. So, what could go wrong? Well, about that...

1. How long is this game? New Dawn is short. It’s fucking short, because I installed it right after it became available (fun fact, this was the first and the last game I ever pre-ordered, so imagine how excited I must’ve been), and started playing it as soon as I could. In my case, it was around 2-3 am. I had a break then, woke up at 7 am and continued playing. I was playing it slowly - completing the side quests, because I wanted to know what has changed in Hope County, and, of course, I was looking for some easter eggs regarding the Seeds (surprised pikachu - there weren’t any, Old Compound, John’s bunker and Ranch are too obvious). Took me around 5 hours to move on and actually start playing the main story. I was pretty sure that it will take me at least 10-15 hours to complete it (why was I thinking so, don’t ask me, I guess I still have way too high expectations after what Witcher 3 expansions have shown me). Again, surprised pikachu! I finished the whole game in 16 hours. Sixteen. Including liberating all the outposts (1 star in each, didn’t bother to get 3) and finish all side-missions + driving around the County just to look around. The hell? And it wasn’t a DLC? Just for a little comparison, because, yes, FC5 can also be completed pretty damn fast if you rush it, but my 1st playthrough of it, with all the quests and admiring the landscapes took me 33 hours. Which leads us to the next point on this god forsaken list, and that is... 2. The map.

The next reason why I am shocked this game wasn’t a DLC - the heckitty hecck they did with the map in New Dawn. Radiation zones? Sign me the hell up, they make sense, are cool and stuff, but adding them just so you could bite off half of the original map is stupid, and extremely lazy thing to do. Okay, you can take off some parts, but if you’re doing so, add something new - some new paths, caves, mountain routes, something. And no, expeditions don’t count. To make it worse, the parts that were deleted were one of the best parts of the FC5 storyline. Faith’s Gate, Drubman’s Marina, Jacob’s Armory, Wolf’s Den, and the fucking Veteran’s Center. The opportunity to make this a haunted location with an entertaining quest in it was HUGE and it was absolutely wasted. It’s not like they couldn’t done it, we’ve got the mission in old Joseph’s statue, and the crocodile pikachu in Inquisitor’s Grave (which, by the way, shouldn’t actually exist - this bunker was blown up to pieces, but it seemed pretty decent in New Dawn, there are barely any sings of explosions, not to mention that “The Confession” room is untouched!). You bought this game with an intention to actually go back in time and find out about something that FC5 didn’t tell you? Kekus maximus, you don’t. Have some photographs instead (which are a nice addition, but seem lazy). To give this post even more personal hatred - I really don’t like the Henbane River region, so you could literally hear my heart breaking when I saw that we got 50% of the River, 80% of the Valley and 10% of the Whitetails, which were my absolute favorite. So fun!

3. The Villains. I must admit, in the trailers, back when the hype for this game was insane, Mickey and Lou seemed to be quite interesting. Even though back then it was obvious that Highwaymen won’t have that kind of depth that Eden’s Gate had, it was still something I was looking forward to, even though those vibes aren’t really my cup of tea; but most of my excitement was born from my love for Far Cry 5, so if course I had to try out the sequel. So yes, the trailers were quite nice (just not the live action one - that was a fucking disaster, and killed my hype for a few days afterwards).

Mickey and Lou were quite fun, but to little extent, sadly. I liked their sister-sister dynamics, they really seemed close, and it was nice that shey were so different from each other - Mickey was more calculating, while Lou was living for the action and brutality in itself. The Highwaymen as a faction in itself wasn’t really that great for me, because their only purpose was to cause mayhem, and I simply don’t like something like this. But the sisters were something different, right? No, they weren’t, and that’s the point. I felt like there was little to no depth in their actions - it was all for fun, and I find this just boring and pointless (pr maybe I’m the boring one). I know that this is often how the world works - people take and destroy simply because they can and because it’s considered cool. We suck as a species, that’s official and well known, but I expected something more entertaining from a videogame. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I did. And Mickey and Lou were literally Highwaymen members with a VIP crown above their heads and nothing more. They left their mother? Okay, that is something that could lead to other interesting things. They killed their father for power? Huh, alright, I can work with that. The point is, it didn’t give them that much depth, their main purpose was to plunder everything. Which would be all good and nice if they were some kind of a side-faction. But this was The Villains™, and I wanted to feel something more towards them. And to be honest? I didn’t even hate them. I felt absolutely nothing, they just existed and I didn’t care, because they didn’t make this game interesting. What I will say now may sound brutal, but I will say it: I don’t consider two young people (they were around 19/20) just wanting to blow everything up “for lulz” a good villains. I fucking don’t. It was a huge downfall after what FC5 has given to us. I was just so bored when fighting the Highwaymen, because they were shallow, and their personalities were only focused on one thing.

Of course, there is also Ethan. Yes, I hate him (he even has a very punchable face, what a coincidence!), but I admit he was somehow a nice touch in this game. Yes, he was a prideful, irritating kid, but while I was just utterly bored by the Twins, Ethan actually managed to make me hate him. The only thing that I’m quite bothered by is that I don’t believe that he’s actual, biological son of Joseph. To put it shortly, and say it louder for the people in the back - The Twins were just meh. Boring. How was the situation in FC5 better? Oh boy.

Putting their obvious... Attractive physical appearance aside, and focusing purely on their personalities, because that’s what I’m trying to explain - they were something else, and something new. Ubisoft took a risk with creating four villains for a single game, because it’s extremely hard to give each one of them the screentime they deserve, and make them interesting and unique. Did FC5 succeed? In a way, yes. I’m not saying that Seeds are absolutely perfect villains (they aren’t), but they can eat Twins for breakfast and still stay hungry. To show you what I mean, have some short descriptions: JOSEPH: Cult Leader, “The Father”, a person who claims to hear the voice of God himself. Someone from a broken family and difficult life, who was in prison (according to song dedicated to him), lost one job after another, lost his wife, killed his daughter, and then formed a religious cult. JACOB: military veteran suffering from PTSD, with a massive knowledge about history and psychology, someone who literally brainwashed nearly half, if not more of the County, and manages to combine religion (something he clearly isn’t really fond of) and personal, darwinistic look on life. JOHN: former lawyer, a person skilled in adapting to any environment, charismatic manipulator abused as a kid, forced to spend most of his life pretending to be someone he hated to be, battled with addictions, emotionally unstable and with sadistic outburts. FAITH: young woman devoid of purpose in life, also battling with addictions in the past, probably on the verge of suicide at some point, who was manipulated (and quite possibly drugged) in order to comply; a broken girl hiding her pain behind lovely smiles. Sounds pretty diverse, right? And I bet that at least one member of this family was somehow entertaining for everyone. Now, here’s what New Dawn has given to us: MICKEY: the more calculating sister; young girl who followed her father and chose brutal life, creating entertainment for herself by making others suffer. Shows some kind of regret when you defeat her by the end of the game. LOU: the more brutal sister; young girl who followed her father and chose brutal life, creating entertainment for herself by making others suffer. Doesn’t show any regrets towards her actions.

And honestly, that’s it. I really tried to write something more for the Twins, but I couldn’t put my finger on anything. That’s all we know. And yes, I know that there is a major difference between them and the Seeds, which is the age gap - FC5 villains are simply older and have more life experience, but honestly, this doesn’t make it better. Mickey and Lou could have much more depth and be far more interesting despite them being young. Age is not a problem in such a case. I suggest to compare Mickey and Lou’s descriptions with the Faith one, since she’s just few years older. There is a difference, isn’t it? And even when playing both of these games, the Seeds just seem to be better developed than the Twins. Ubisoft did something weird, because they managed to focus on four villains and make each one of them interesting in their own way, but made just two main villains flat, and nearly identical. 4. Radio calls. This is a continuation of the point above, because it’s also something I wanted to point out and is connected to the villains of both games. The things you can hear directly from The Twins can be mostly described as “hey rabbit, you’re pissing us off a bit”. Same with the things they say at outposts and direct them to the Highwaymen - it’s always about the same thing, and there isn’t a single line that I found interesting or worth remembering (okay, my bad, the fact that Mickey and Lou seemed to be dissapointed after Nana chose to stick with the Captain rather than them was a nice touch). Meanwhile, I can recite most of the dialogue lines from the Seeds from my memory, and it’s something I could do after 2 playthroughs. They seem to be on a whole different level - and yes, it is true that to some point, the “rabbits” thing is similar to “the weak” theme of Jacob, or “the sinners” in case of John, but it didn’t seem to be that much tiring to hear about. Faith’s radio calls were interesting, because with each one of them you could hear her demeanor towards the Deputy changing - in the beginning, she was friendly, but after you destroyed Joseph’s statue, she was scared, and at the final confrontation - maliciously hostile. Jacob started his radio calls history with a threat towards you, and kind off keeps that all the time, but the closer you get to the final meeting with him, the more... Okay, how the fuck do I describe it in a non-thot way amused (I guess we can call it this way?) he sounded. He was still far from friendly, you still didn’t have any doubts he’s your enemy, but there was something in those radio calls, something that suggested he actually sees the Deputy as something more than just enemy, as a tool he crafted all by himself and he was proud of it. John welcomes you with this cheesy ad at the beginning of the game, and as time goes on, he goes even more obsessed with making you atone and confess; not to mention his absolutely fantastic reactions to stealing his house and destroying his sign. His calls are something unpredictable, because once he’s all official and charismatic, but suddenly he switches to this ominous mode that actually makes you want stop for a bit and look around you, as if he was lurking somewhere. To sum it up, this game made you feel like if you were actually developing some kind of a relationship with each one of the family member. But the radio calls from the Twins seem to be always the same, it’s all about “rabbits” and “problem solving”. Yes, it might've been better if only one sister was all about it, and the other one had something else on her mind, but making them nearly identical was a lazy move. 5. Landscapes.

Far Cry 5 was amazing, because every region was different and had something else to offer. Henbane River was full of Bliss, which created weird hallucinations, Faith dancing around you was also pretty interesting addition, and The Pilgrimage was also a nice touch (I recommend going with it, it’s a really nice experience, actually). Holland Valley was the pure definition of Montana countryside, and it felt fantastic to walk around and see those little farms, cows, windmills and so on. Whitetail Mountains were also something unique, with less open spaces, a huge amount of wildlife, combining massive mountains with deep forests. And even though the colors of this game could be simply described as beige-green, I didn’t really feel bored when wandering around. New Dawn had a cool concept, actually - makind the post-apocalyptic world colorful, instead of making it a grey wasteland was something new and I was excited. And, honestly, I really liked how it all looked like during the first 2 hours of playthrough. After that... I was just so done. The pink colour in itself wasn’t bad, really, but the way they added it everywhere made me feel sick. Those flowers were nearly everywhere and they were always the same. And while I love screenshoting landscapes in games, New Dawn didn’t really felt like something I wanted to spend time on. I like to admire the views of FC5, but not in ND. Combining the small as hell map with nearly the same flowers on your every step was a bad solution. 6. Other. To mention other things - well, I guess we could mention the music, but I feel it isn’t fair, actually. Both games did this well in some way, FC5 songs are certainly something unforgettable, and I mean both the cult ones as well as the OST. New Dawn did what it could - gave Highwaymen music that fits them. The OST, however, isn’t that good. Maybe because it just doesn’t feel unique to me, while the different type of music in each region in FC5 is, for me, unforgettable in many ways. I won’t really talk about The Deputy >> The Judge metamorphosis, because everyone sees it in a different way. I personally don’t consider it as a bad thing, it’s quite a nice plot twist, and I like it (even though I went with a totally different path with my deputy OC).

Okay, I think it’s time to get to the main point. Why I consider New Dawn as a disaster? The Villains were devoid of any depth and felt exactly the same, the map was small as hell, the story was way too short (and these two things should be enough to make this game a DLC, not an actual installment of the franchise), the landscapes were repetitive, 90% of what was left from FC5 (locations, for example) didn’t get a chance to shine. Just imagine how much more entertaining this game could be if we would find some old recording of the Eden’s Gate songs somewhere. If there were mentions of some terryfingly huge wolves roaming around, if the members of Prosperity actually mentioned something about John Seed (which house they are living in!), if we could visit the remnants of the Faith’s Gate, hear the ominous “Only You” when approaching the Veteran’s Center and read some old notes about experiments that were happening in there, and so on. Basically, the main opportunity that got wasted was focusing on continuating FC5 legacy in a more respectful way. The things I mentioned above seem like small details, but they really could make the experience something else entirely. So, yeah. I hate New Dawn, in case someone didn’t notice. :)

#listen I wrote it between 12 pm and 2 am #I couldn't sleep because of this #and I bet I forgot about something important #but whatever #I just needed to get it out of my system #fcnd #far cry new dawn #far cry 5

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nomadnoah · 5 years

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What's the Rommel myth?

Ah,Erwin Rommel. The darling of the Nazi propaganda machine.

The Rommel myth is the persistent idea that WWII-era field marshalErwin Rommel was a ‘chivalrous, good guy’ and ‘not asbad as the other German commanders’ and ‘not a Nazi.’Particularly, people claim he wasn’t antisemitic-or as antisemitic- and wasn’t racist, especiallyfor his time. The ‘Rommel myth’ is a reference to commondepictions of Rommel as an apolitical, brilliant commander and avictim of Nazi Germany, since he was allegedly involved in an attempton Hitler’s life.

The bastard himself.

Rommel’s foundations were in WWI. He was a genuinely successfulcommander in the field, with many great successes under his belt, andgenerally few failures. Where there were failures, Rommel typicallysucceeded in avoiding catastrophic losses. His strategy has beencompared to ‘blitzkrieg without tanks,’ and revolved aroundalways keeping the opponent on the backfoot. This matters fuck-all;the only thing you should take away from this is the fact that Rommelleft WWI with the rank of captain.

Fast-forward to the Nazi rise to power. You see, Rommel was anunusually charismatic fellow that was pretty close to Hitler in termsof personal life, which already a BIG FUCKING RED FLAG. Anyways,while Rommel wasn’t officially a member of the Nazi party-explaining his placement in the Wehrmacht, instead of the SS- hewelcome the Nazi rise to power with open arms. He was sent to Poland,France, and then North Africa.

The ‘apolitical’ man, sharing a moment with a certain Nazi leader.

France first. Rommel was successful here, and historians tend towrite of him as treating prisoners of war with consideration, andRommel is often depicted as being against the execution of prisonersof war. Slight issue. Rommel’s unit was romping around where massexecutions of blackFrench prisoners of war took place- yeah, don’t forget, Africancolonial soldiers fought in WWII- and on at least one occasion Rommelexecuted an uncooperative officer. This is what the kids call a ‘warcrime,’ as the officer was unarmed. Rommel was also responsible forthe execution of Charles N'Tchoréré, a naturalized French citizenfrom Libreville. N'Tchoréré was a lieutenant that emerged fromretirement to fight in WWII, and when his battalion was defeated andhe surrendered, he refused to be treated poorly for being black. Hewas summarily shot for demanding he be treated in accordance with hisrank, like the rest of the French lieutenants. So yeah, Rommel.Chivalrous, allegedly. Also tremendously fucking racist. Withoutfurther ado, let’s jump to the next theater, Africa.

Charles N’ Tchoréré, a man left out of history for the sake of upholding Rommel.

It’s in North Africa that he allegedly pioneeredthe use of high-velocity anti-aircraft guns as anti-tank weapons.Small aside- no he fucking didn’t. Every single country was hip tothe fact that anti-aircraft guns worked well as anti-tank guns. Youneed fast, hard hitting projectiles to hit planes. Fast, hard-hittingprojectiles tend to mess tanks up. So yeah. If I catch yousaying “Rommel invented the modern anti-tank gun by turning aflak cannon sideways” I’m turning your ribcage inside-out.

You expect me to believe Rommel was the first person to say “Point this bad boy at a tank”?

Anyways. Rommel forbade his soldiers from buying anything from Jewishmerchants, for one. And as many Wehraboos will note, Rommel didn’tmassacre Jews wherever he found them. He used them as slave laborinstead. But Germany needed their darling, so propaganda reinforcedRommel as an honorable warrior. Some British general were charmed byhis outward charisma and kind treatment towards them (since they werewhite and high ranking), and their reflections on encounters withRommel were immediately picked up by the British and Germans alike.

So now let’s tackle whythe myth persists today. First of all, there were several deliberatepostwar attempts by Nazi sympathizers to save face for Germany-better understood as the clean Wehrmacht myth. Firstup is Rommel: The Desert Fox,a collection of interviews with several people close to Rommel,including his widow and one Hans Speidel. Speidel was a German WWIIgeneral, Supreme Commander of NATO Ground Forces in Central Europefrom ‘57 to ‘63 (which, by the way, what the fuck?), and an openpropagandist, admitting his plan from the very start was to turnRommel into an apolitical German hero. Rommel: The DesertFox was well-received inBritain, despite being nothing but villain worship framed as heroworship. The film based onthis biography, The Desert Fox: The Story of Rommel,continued this, painting Rommel as even more sympathetic. Again,Britons ate this drivel up, while protests erupted in territoriesthat had either been Nazi-aligned or captured during WWII. Indeed,the admitted goal of the film was reconciliation, which I’m goingto argue shouldn’t be attempted with fucking Nazis.The painting of Rommel as a hero-general of unrivaled intellect,however stem from The Rommel Papers, whichwere a more tactical pseudo-examination of Rommel.

This oh-so-unbiased book compared Rommel to Lawrence of Arabia, calling Rommel and Lawerence the “two masters of desert warfare.” Very unbiased.

Sobasically. Rommel was more or less a bog standard WWI general, whocozied up to Hitler to fly up the ranks. Once in position in Europeand North Africa, he contributed to the Nazi reign of terror, andupheld Nazi policies of racism, antisemitism, and mass violenceagainst ‘inferiors.’ Followinghis death, he was deliberately put on a pedestal by Nazis and Nazisympathizers alike, in an attempt to reconcile differences with NaziGermany for some absolutely insane reason.

So, if you demand a TL;DR: FuckRommel, fuck Nazi Germany, fuck Hans Speidel, and fuck the Britishhigh command with a nuclear device.

Feel free to message me anyquestions, about history at large or this specifically.

#mine #long post #wwii #rommel #wwi #history #military history #Anonymous

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suzu-kun22 · 5 years

Text

Killua Zoldyck: the all-time best boy

Since (hopefully) I’ll be posting this on Killua Zoldyck’s birthday (July 7th), this feels like as good a time as any to actually talk about why the white-haired little shit of an assassin is my favorite anime character of all time. Sure, I have plenty of characters that I’m obsessed with, tons and tons that I would die for, write fanfictions about, reblog fan art of, read fanfictions about, cry over, etc. But none of them come close to matching what I feel for a select few characters, my top 10 list, which has changed slightly over the years. However, the top 5 have yet to change. As much as the last five have shuffled over recent years, with a special shoutout going to Ray from The Promised Neverland, who managed to knock Reg from Made in Abyss out of the top 10 and climb all the way to number 6, the top 5 have remained exactly the same.

And Killua Zoldyck has remained squarely at number one ever since I watched Hunter x Hunter (2011) back at the end of 2015 and beginning of 2016. Back when I was the same age as him and lacked a lot of the same social skills and friends that Killua’s upbringing stole from him. Back when I saw a character who could deal with most any problem effortlessly and thought to myself, ‘I want to be like that.’

A long time ago, I wrote about Izuku Midoriya. I wrote about why I loved Izuku Midoriya after only two episodes of My Hero Academia, about how he was a character who I both related to and aspired to be like. And that is exactly how I felt about Killua at the very beginning of Hunter x Hunter. He was a character who was fun to be around, fun to watch, bounced off the other characters with so much charisma, charm, and grace that he was mesmerizing to behold. I wanted to be like him. To be able to see a person my age and simply say, ‘hey! Let’s be friends!’

But, as the show continued, we learned more about Killua’s life. His inability to maintain a relationship because it was simply something that wasn’t taught to him. His family’s disapproval of his kindness and compassion for other human beings. And Killua climbed down from his pedestal. He went from a bouncy, fun, terrifying little assassin child who could do no wrong to an actual,,, person. There really isn’t any other way to describe the way that Hunter x Hunter portrays its characters. Even those who are murderers, villains, literally human-eating ants, feel entirely, inarguably human. And Killua was the first to become so. And the way the show humanized him, portraying him as someone who we see as perfect, charismatic, charming, social, as someone who just wants a friend, just wants to be a normal kid and have fun adventures with someone who wants him around just resonated with me.

All of this is just in the first 26 episodes. Killua just continues getting better and better from here. His arc is about finally getting what he’s wanted all these years, a friend, fun adventures with said friend, and to, just a little bit, be normal. Okay, maybe not normal. But a little bit more normal than he was before he met Gon. And he loves every second of it. He’s just overjoyed to actually have a friend, to be going on fun adventures with his friend, even if they’re constantly in life-threatening situations and doing absolutely insane nonsense, Killua is having an absolute blast.

And then the ants come.

While the Chimera Ant Arc is not my personal favorite arc of the series (that honor going to the Yorknew City Arc), I have no words to describe the raw... emotion that most of the arc manages to invoke in those who watch it. From Meruem’s entire brilliant character arc to Gon’s all-encompassing mental breakdown, every character is given something to set them apart from the time they had before this brutal experience.

Killua learns that his brother was right.

He learns that, no matter how much you care about someone, how much time you’ve spent with them, how much you’ve been through together, how much you’ve done for them, people will still hurt you. Having friends still means that sometimes people will put themselves before you. They’ll leave, sometimes, and maybe they come back, like Gon did, but maybe they don’t. Killua learns that what his brother said about friends abandoning you is right, sometimes. He ends the show away from Kurapika, away from Leorio, and away from Gon.

But, of course, that isn’t all that he learns.

Killua learns that sometimes people are worth it. He learns that sometimes when you love someone enough, when you care about someone enough, getting hurt for them is okay. Getting hurt for their sake can be worth it. He learns that friendships aren’t meant to be conflict-free and perfect, and he learns to handle it. He learns that you can’t give up on people, you can’t leave them behind, and that you can’t simply run away.

Killua has been taught all his life to run away when you can’t win. But Gon doesn’t do that. Ever. He stands his ground and fights. And Killua learns to do that in his very own way. When Gon needs him, when his entire family stands in the way of what Killua wants for himself, for Gon, and for his baby sister, he doesn’t run away. He doesn’t give up, even though he knows that it’s more than likely that he won’t succeed. He stands strong, he doesn’t run away, and he takes what he needs to claim his victory.

He saves Gon. Because, despite the pain that Gon has put him through recently, despite how angry he is with him, despite everything, he knows that Gon would do the same for him.

Killua Zoldyck ends Hunter x Hunter (2011) a strong, compassionate, caring, and loving person. He sheds much of his more callous nature, though never sheds the sly humor and bouncy confidence he’s had since the beginning. He changes from a little kid who doesn’t know the first thing about having friends, to a real human being, fully grown and capable of caring for his little sister the same way he was never cared for.

Killua Zoldyck begins Hunter x Hunter (2011) as an inexperienced young kid with the world ahead of him. He ends Hunter x Hunter (2011) as a slightly older kid who has experienced more than most adults will in their entire lives, and Killua Zoldyck grows up. He grows up into a healthy, functional human being. He puts his abusive family behind him, saves his little sister from the same situation, and he moves on with his life while keeping the things that are most important to him.

And that is a very long-winded way of saying that Killua Zoldyck is one of the most lovable and relatable characters in all of anime. And that is why he has stayed at the very top of my list of favorite anime characters for as long as he has.

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years

Text

Fanon characterization of the Calypso twins between me and The Wild West Pyro:

We both have the strong sinking feeling that the twins are slowly going to lose it as the game goes on, so here’s our collaborated analysis of the two:

I’ll be in non-cool text, while The Wild West Pyro will be in italics, for easier distinction between us. [There will be slight edits and changes for cohesion]

“It would be pretty interesting if we found out the Calypsos/the cult started out with 'good intentions'.”

“Hell, you can see the populism kicking in there.What did the writers say? Ah. "Your poor bandits! You're kicked around and nobody likes you, but we can give you a purpose in life! We can make you feel appreciated and loved!" [This is a reference to the Danny Homan interview] Something of that line.”

“oh yeah! the twins are also providing them with food and weaponry. i mean i can see why a bandit desperate for something better would follow them.”

“I'm guessing how this goes: The Twins start off by winning people over by talking about how they want Pandora to be finally at peace after endless war and giving the bandits a new life where they're treated like actual people. Then once they've got enough people, they say that the Raiders have to go, the corporations have to go, with the Vaults seized the universe will see no more war. Actually, I'm predicting rn that they have a very, very cult-like end goal in terms of IRL parallels.What if they choose to "cleanse" the universe with whatever power Tyreen possesses? And once everything standing in their way is gone, they can create this ideal utopian peaceful universe where there's no corporations and no more fighting. Meanwhile the Eridians are panicking because they know it's a doomed plan and the Vaults do not work like that.”

“[this is very much a] large scale Opportunity situation. literally reverse uno card as to what jack was attempting”

“Yep. Paradise for the common man bandit. OTL parallels to what usually sparks communist revolutions or popular revolutions in general. So yeah, Tyreen could very easily justify herself in that she genuinely wants to bring peace to the universe, with all means necessary. Of course, internally, the Twins just want to be gods and play at being them and hold onto their power as absolute rulers presiding over an eternally-grateful populace.”

“definitely sounds like two teenage cult leaders to me ngl. i could see them not being too secure in themselves (behind the vvv confident personas they put on) and constantly second guessing themselves and reassuring that they're doing this for everyone's own good even as things just keep getting worse and worse. could [have] a tie-in to whatever tragic backstory they might have”

“Yep and yep. And there's this internal fear that they don't know what being a god entails, if they'll lose sense of who they are or not... but put that aside. All for the greater good! I'm actually thinking about this. People note that the Twins are basically streamer critiques, which is a yes. But if you want to take them to serious universe-spanning villain territory, I think that they'll absorb the knowledge from Elpis at one point. And they start to become more detached and more frightening, and a lot more eloquent as they really start becoming gods in the BL sense. While still being narcissistic attention whores who actually like killing people off with their powers but pretend to act benevolent. Essentially, you have the Greek Gods except there's two Zeuses, one is a girl and they've both got all of Zeus's worst traits cranked up to eleven.”

“oh god are they gonna dick everything that moves? oh no... cover ava's eyes! joking aside, that sounds accurate. especially given the borderlands universe loves to tie in its greek mythology. also also i am glad someone else agrees the twins are going to elpis. i refuse to believe they'd destroy it/blow it up before going there for the info. that shit is valuable! especially if you want to convince people you're gods?? accurately predicting the future is insanely good for doing that! plus all the other cool shit you can do by knowing exactly what's going to happen.”

“It also makes the Twins much more dangerous if they can see every outcome...unfortunately, Lilith is very good at playing 4D Chess by now.”

“lilith, putting on her sunglasses and cracking her knuckles: it's time to show them what a real military organization can do. ellie is her hype woman with the drink and a towel. also also lilith is probably kicking herself for not being fast enough this time to punch the vault symbol into tyreen's face.”

“Honestly, I'd love Lilith to turn out to be this really crafty, really charismatic guerrilla warfare commander. Like an Innie leader but they're hypercompetent, not a terrorist and also have Keyes's sheer talent for analyzing battles and tactics and adapting accordingly. Lilith sitting up in Sanc-III being BL!Keyes except a lady and specializing in ground warfare would be sick.”

“yes. fucking. please. gearbox please give lily all the character development, your girl deserves it. im glad because it does seem like she's getting there when you crash land on Promethea. and even the way she handles herself on the bridge is very smooth and confident.”

“tfw you can see the future and, yet, the lady you robbed of her siren powers is outsmarting you 24/7, 365 days a year despite you being able to see the future. also you're trying to fight fate and desperate to change reality so that you can't lose like the future said you would. joke's on you, you cannot fight it.”

“There is no changing it. bonus points if ty only saw the very end, so she is utterly clueless on how the middle bits play out. so lilith is kicking her ass across elpis and she's like ‘this is NOT how i saw this going’.”

“I'd seriously imagine that life in BL corporate society really is like life in Rapture or Columbia. The upper class profits immensely and reaps all the best goods, but they refuse to do the dirty work themselves so they rely on this huge workforce who they constantly cheat, lie and exploit. The few achieve huge power and stuff at the expense of the many. Looking at the Twins in the parallels of how revolutions go, they'll basically go from recruiting the bandits to recruiting the huge lower class of every planet. Looking at records from all the planets, we've got people being screwed over again and again, corruption and other nasties. The Twins claim that they want all corporations to go, to bring some form of unified government back to the galaxy. And it works- their army size quadruples overnight and goes from there. By the time we get to Promethea, the COV are already recruiting everyone dissatisfied with corporate life. If they successfully seize control of Maliwan like I predict, they'll be a force to be reckoned with. The Twins will use the masses to achieve some sort of theocratic revolution, [they] claim that it's all for everyone's good. But in reality, they want to be absolute rulers of the universe, gods worshipped and feared by all.”

“Oh yeah, the twins are definitely feeding (maybe literally) off the huge numbers of dissatisfied people across the universe- the mega corporations are evil, no doubt there are millions of people waiting for something better. tbh, if gaige wasn't booted from the main game, I could see a whole side story of her having started a revolution somewhere, and then joining up with the Crimson Raiders once her entire party just up and joined the CoV. And [I would] 100% bet the twins started a campaign against DAHL and Atlas and suddenly nearly every bandit on pandora joined up with them. (also Athena was sitting in a chair clutching at the armrests and janey was like "don't you fuckin dare, hon" and athena is like "but... Atlas...")”

[We talk more about Gaige’s anarchist revolution and trying to topple the mega corporations in a less cult-y fashion here]

“... Bonus points 2: The COV fire up the memories of Jack to rally everyone into opposing Hyperion and suddenly Athena is like "OK I'm not going, mobilize the army." And Janey is like ‘Here we go...’.”

[we joke around a little bit more about Athena and Janey here]

“I can imagine Rhys's internal conflict, knowing that he has to make the galaxy a better place but at the same time, maintain his corporate power and control because without it, he's doomed. Then again, Rhys is no stranger to doing shady stuff. I think a lot of the Twins's evil will be in how they treat their followers.There's all the smooth-talking and promises of the future. And then when you actually get there, you're brainwashed into being another unthinking, 100% loyal attack dog for them. And you follow everything they ask you to do for 100%, even if they use you for power experiments or cannon fodder. And the game will remind us that these people weren't all bandits - over the course of the story, the COV includes people like former corporate execs, entire families, people who were just trying to get by day to day. And now we as Vault Hunters have to kill all these ordinary people to save the universe. Tough choices, eh?“

“Oh geez, you know that's a really fair point. i know borderlands likes to push the 'morally gray' aspect of things, but holy shit that's dark. (not saying i don't love it though, i totally do lol) You’re probably 100% right that rhys is struggling internally. especially after being so closely tied up with hyperion and even fiona and sasha, seeing exactly what hyperion did to people not just on helios but the people trying to live their daily lives and survive on pandora. im sure he has a similar reasoning to himself as the twins: im doing this for the better of the people. i can help so many more people with this money and power. somewhat similar to handsome jack, but hopefully lorelei (if she's not evil) helps ground him and keep him from jumping into the middle-to-deep end.”

“I'm still betting that Rhys will remain on the good side, if a teensy bit unscrupulous. I mean, the whole thing about the Twins is that they're social commentary of livestreamers and influencers and the incredibly toxic influence they can have. There are countless aspects of that to explore. If streamers can mobilize their entire loyal fanbases to bully the crap outta some poor chump or buy things or let their fans believe that they know the streamer 100% as a person and not a persona, the Twins can convince people to go to war.”

“Oooh yeah, it's not hard to imagine they probably don't even need the brainwashing for a majority of their cult, just the select few who are either on the fence or against it, but are [still] 'available'. irl streamers can be seriously fuckin scary, man, im not surprised this is the route gearbox is going for. now, it would be severely fucked up if there was a scene where tyreen demands someone kill themselves on the spot and they do without hesitation. if you watch the moze gameplay there seems to be a hint of something like that going on over the radio/TVs, she mentions something about their sacrifice or something, then you hear a dude screaming/gurgling.”

“Everyone's thinking that Tyreen will be this laughable, entertaining villain. But I'm constantly seeing hints and estimating that she is going to be far, far more scarier than we give her credit for. For one, Jack was a presence largely relegated to audio. We only physically saw him in BL2 twice. The Twins run a cult, which itself is frightening already. And it looks like we'll be seeing them in person very often.”

“Oh yes, tyreen is fucking terrifying. i mean even that she can steal siren powers is already a huge "whoa what the fuck" in my book. that one line at the end of the HBC where she's like "you're my most loyal follower vault thief, you just don't know it yet"? fucking scary, how her voice drops and gets all serious for a split second and then the hologram just cuts out. i was like "wh- wait hang on-???" i definitely think she is putting up a persona and as the game goes on we're slowly going to watch her lose it. troy will probably grow a bit distant from her as well if he doesn't lose it, too. definitely think ty is going to try and kill him once he's of no use to her, because he's just been a pain in her side because she had to keep him alive as the brains of the operation. but once the operation is done... whoops. sorry pal. don't need you anymore. they're the main villains, i can't see her holding the bonds of family in high regard at all. she could totally write off his death as like ‘he sacrificed himself for the Great Vault, now we pray to him every day and sacrifice ourselves in his name’ or smth”

“She puts up this fun-loving persona as a streamer, but she then decides the Vault Hunters get to see her true self. It is not pretty. It makes Jack look like a kitten-cuddling fluffball, that's how bad the real Tyreen is. It makes Piston and Vasquez sound like friendly guys you'd take out for lunch after work. It makes Hector's goals look very reasonable and sane. Also, perhaps she kills him and we never see how she did it, which ups the scare factor. It's like Troy disappeared and we have no idea how she killed him and how long it took for him to die. We just find a lot of irreconcilable proof that Troy is dead now and we don't know how. That is the amount of horror I'm estimating.”

“Oh man I love this. That's so horrible (in a good way), I can 100% see it happening. Jack swore revenge for us killing the person he 'loved'. Tyreen herself kills the person she 'loved' and we start to realize holy shit this is the real deal. She can't even pretend to care like Jack pretended to care (he didn't actually care about Angel as a person, but he did say things to try and make Angel think he did, just putting that out there cuz I don't wanna sound like I support him lol). There's just a complete contrast between her and Jack during the final levels of the game. Jack stops joking around "you feel that, child killer?", he's dead serious and ready to kill vs Tyreen laughing or just being off the rails bubbly for her 'streamer persona' while looking utterly unhinged”

so yeah, the convo teetered off after this a bit, but the general gist is that Tyreen is going to go absolutely off-the-wall by the end of the main story. this is somewhat supported by the Danny Homan interview that states the twins are going to have their relationship warp and twist.Tyreen is going to start going crazy with all the powers she absorbs and realize once the plan is over she won’t need Troy’s expertise anymore, and Troy is going to get sick of being relegated to the side when he’s the one with the master plan. We both have the deep feelings the twins aren’t going to stay as charismatic as they are in the little bit of promo material we’ve gotten of them. which i get, because in a lot of the official trailers, Troy looks pissed. Tyreen is always super smug no matter what shot she’s in, but Troy... he looks very angry in some shots we get. even when Ty is holding his forearm in that one shot, he rips his arm out of her grip. For example: “How many IRL streamer "friends" get into ridiculous drama and feuds with each other? Answer: a lot. Could be mirroring that with the twins. A lot of people are saying that the new villains will never match up to Jack. This is our take, and we're proud of it, and very confident in Gearbox's new writing team. ”

EDIT: some edits made by The Wild West Pyro

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #the calypso twins

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neriad13 · 4 years

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Best of the Best Media Consumed 2019!

This year I had a whole lot of focus on nonfiction, film and comics. Resolution for next year: read more fiction. Seriously, I read over three times more nonfiction than fiction this year. I read a little over one novel a month. But I really do love picking up a book on something I know nothing about and coming away knowing more than something. X-P

Anyway! The list!

Books - Fiction

Out of the 17 works of fiction I read this year, the best of the best is...

The Snow Queen, by Joan Vinge

The Snow Queen was one of my absolute favorite fairy tales as a child. The 2002 film adaptation of it was one of the things I watched endlessly.

It was SO MUCH FUN picking apart this sci-fi retelling and discovering which characters are meant to represent the ones from the original story (of particular interest: the character representing the reindeer is human in this...and he has a one night stand with the character representing Gerta. Yes, I’m still cracking up about this. Yes, it actually was a pretty well written scene).

But the absolute best part of it was the masterful characterization. Every single character has ulterior motives and often heartbreaking reasons for why they are the way they are - especially including the Snow Queen herself, whose final scene is horrifying, tragic and beautiful.

I always like me some solid villain characterization.

Runner Up:

Fairy Tales: Traditional Stories Retold for Gay Men

I am not a gay man...but this very much spoke to me. It was at turns heartwarming and hilarious and the turns these fairy tales took felt so natural, like they’d been told that way all along.

There are also many allusions to AIDS in the stories - sometimes as something a character is directly dealing with whether in himself, or a loved one and sometimes under the guise of a metaphor for inevitability. These ones were my favorites (aside from The Frog Prince, which was turned into a metaphor for accepting the process of aging with grace).

Books - Nonfiction

Oh boy. There’s...definitely going to be more than one here. Of the 65 works of nonfiction I read this year, my favorites were...

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes & Other Lessons From the Crematory

A memoir about the author’s time spent working as a crematory operator and her entry into the funeral business. This book was absolutely hilarious (it contains a story about the author getting absolutely soaked with corpse fat that wouldn’t stop flowing straight out of the incinerator), tragic (a 12 year old girl is cremated and her ashes are mailed back to her parents as part of a cremation mail-in program) and extremely poignant (the author talks openly about the time she was contemplating suicide).

I love Caitlin’s youtube channel and I loved this book even more.

My Age of Anxiety

Partially the memoir of a man who has battled his extreme anxiety his entire life, a historical study of famous figures who have also endured it and a scientific look into why it exists at all.

Ultimately, it offers no answers. As of the writing of the book, the author has found no treatment that helps him for longer than a few months. But what he has found over the course of his research is that he is not alone - that anxiety has historically been a factor in scientific breakthroughs and artistic accomplishments. And that perhaps most importantly, that anxiety has been a key part of human evolution from the start, which served a vital role in the survival of the species.

Mental illness or evolutionary adaptation? Is there even a line between them?

Cassell’s Encyclopedia of Queer Myth, Symbol and Spirit

This is the only book, period, devoted to queer mythology, that I have ever been able to find. But the good news is that it’s fairly extensive (though the authors themselves admit that they had trouble finding as much information about non-western mythology as they did for western mythology), is chock full of references and is extremely thorough in the information it presents.

I’ll admit that it was a slog to get through at times, but what it’s provided has been invaluable to my conception of history and my own place in it.

Also, I can now say beyond a shadow of a doubt that almost every culture on earth has at some point in their history had a tradition of transgender shamans.

Hope After Faith

This is the memoir of a charismatic Pentecostal pastor turned atheist. It follows him from teenagerhood and the beginnings of his dream to be a preacher to a little bit after his deconversion decades later.

The eventual crumbling of his faith was something that spoke to me on a deep level. The scene that I still think about months later is the one in which he finally gives up his belief in the afterlife and accepts the finality of death by saying goodbye to everyone he ever loved who has died with the words “I love you, but I’m never going to see you again.”

I was not a huge fan of the writing style at first, but this one won me over totally and completely. It touched me immensely at the time when I needed it most.

Comics - Fiction

I read 52 fictional comics this year and 46 nonfiction. I absolutely raided my library’s graphic novel section for months. It was a good time.

Beautiful Darkness

A French graphic novel wherein tiny people survive and feud over the corpse of the child they came from. It’s...hard to explain. Kind of a fairy tale Lord of the Flies, but more subtly horrifying. It’s a story about decay and collapse - of society, of the physical form, of the dreams of a child. It has no single interpretation and different people may take something very different from it. The most inventive horror story I read this year.

My Brother’s Husband

A story about microaggressions and how their buildup over time can drive a wedge between people without them even noticing. I cried. Go read it.

Mis(h)adra

A semi autobiographical account of a college student learning how to live with his epilepsy. I also cried over this one.

The art is stunning, the metaphors are amazing (the main character’s epilepsy is visually portrayed as a set of ghostly knives that follow him around) and the ending is extremely affecting if you’ve ever dealt with any kind of chronic illness.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba

The absolute most fun I had reading a comic this year. Gets extremely dark and incredibly sad but never feels overwhelmingly heavy, thanks to its great sense of humor.

Edward Scissorhands: Parts Unknown + Whole Again

A series of adventures set decades after the movie, after Kim’s death, in a time when her granddaughter begins wondering if the stories about the castle on the hill are true.

It deals with such issues as the difficulties Kim had with her daughter growing up, when all she would do is tell stories about Edward rather than give her the emotional support she needed, whether removing the thing that both makes you unique and brings pain is worth it and how to stop angry villagers from burning down your house (again).

Also, seeing Edward be surrounded by a group of friends who care about him was extremely healing.

Comics - Nonfiction

My Solo Exchange Diary vol 1-2

A series of updates about the author’s continuing battle with mental illness and about how recovery is anything but a straight line.

Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?

Finally, some light reading!

It’s a memoir about the decline and death of the author’s aging parents.

I found it...extremely comforting. Extreme old age, whether in one’s self or in one’s loved ones, is a scary and often obscured prospect, despite being a near-universal human experience. This book took the mystery out of aging and the fear out of taking care of aging parents. I’ve seen it done now. I’m more ready to do it myself.

The Best We Could Do

A memoir of the author’s family’s flight from Vietnam and their immigration to America, through the lens of the birth of the author’s first child. About how being a refugee changes a person in small, often unexpected ways, how trauma leaves its mark on families - and how, knowing all this, one can still keep living and raising the next generation.

Film - Fiction

I caught up on a lot of classics I’d not seen before and really got into Jidaigeki this year. Me putting only four of them on the list is a show of restraint. Of the 64 films I watched this year...

The Fall of the House of Usher

Impeccable costume and psychedelic set design. The unanswered question that bounces throughout the entire movie: is it the curse or is it the fault of human belief in the curse?

Patch your walls, dude.

A Monster With a Thousand Heads

A Mexican thriller about a woman whose husband is denied cancer treatment for seemingly no reason. The doctor gives her the runaround. No one can answer her questions. No one listens to her.

So, naturally, she and her teenage son spend a night kidnapping and holding at gunpoint every person she needs to get her husband’s cancer treatment approved. Wild and intense and timely.

Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

I watched a couple of Kubrick movies I hadn’t seen before and of them...I died laughing at this one. The tight plotting! The inevitable buildup to disaster over something so insanely stupid!

I did not live during the Cold War, but damn do I feel for the inherent ridiculousness of it now.

Seven Samurai

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAFGFTRTRNHUKIJUHNJNHHHHHHHHHHHHYHYHYHYHYHYHYHYHYXCVVGGERDSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

...this movie is insanely good. I watched Citizen Kane this year. This movie’s better.

It has a plot which can be described in its totality, in a single sentence - a group of samurai are hired to defend a village from bandits - but what they do with that premise is so much more than that.

This movie is three hours long. It did not lag once.

Hara Kiri

As the Tokugawas secure their grip on all of Japan, war ceases. Great houses are dissolved and their retainers, cast into the streets. The relevance of the samurai is ending and the cities are awash in starving ronin.

Once, one of these starving ronin approached a great house, asking if he might be able to end his life honorably, in front of witnesses there. So impressed was the lord with this ronin’s resolve, that he instead hired him on as one of his retainers.

Hearing this story, other ronin, having no intention of actually offing themselves, tried the same trick in the hopes of securing a job, or at the very least, a little something to eat.

It became a common scam which, in the end, fooled no one. Most houses gave the ronin a handful of cash and sent them on their way.

But one house, seeking to preserve their warlike spirit in these peaceful times, chooses to treat one beggar ronin very differently.

This is the story of vengeance taken for that death.

Yojimbo

A ronin enters a town that is being torn apart by gang warfare and decides to play both sides in order to end the conflict. It contains such comedic gems as:

- the ronin suddenly deciding not to take part in a street battle, leaving both sides evenly matched and extremely nervous about fighting each other, while he watches it all from the top of a watchtower, laughing his ass off

- the ronin is critically injured and being smuggled out of town in a coffin. A fight breaks out while this is happening and scares away one of the people carrying the coffin. A less intelligent goon of the gang he just escaped from is cheerfully recruited to carry the coffin the rest of the way

- standing up in the coffin, declaring that he’s fine and immediately fainting

Also, you should totally bring a knife to a gun fight.

Ran

A jidaigeki reimagining of King Lear.

A visually astounding, sweeping epic with amazing acting and a complex interplay of conflicting passions which might just be more bleak than the original play.

The scene in which the main character goes mad and is cast out into the wilderness is especially haunting.

Jojo Rabbit

I don’t think I’ve EVER experienced such violent mood whiplash in a movie before. One moment you’re crying-laughing from a joke that hit with absolute perfection and the next you’re...actually crying. In the same scene. Within thirty seconds. Multiple times. It is the oddest feeling to be so elated by the best joke in the entire movie while every character we’ve come to know across the course of the movie is in the process of dying violently. It’s not a feeling everyone’s going to like, but for me it was completely new and fantastic.

The best part of the movie is the main character’s relationship with Imaginary Friend Hitler. He’s wildly funny and relentlessly charming. I got excited every time he appeared in a scene and was, oddest of all, actually comforted by his presence.

He was all of these things until, in the most terrifying scene in the movie, he was not.

This movie shows you the mechanisms through which fascism becomes an appealing idea for a lonely child by putting the audience through a version of the same process. It’s so clever, so funny and so sad.

What do you do when your world is destroyed by absurdity and there is nothing left for you to return to?

You dance in the streets.

TV Series

Good Omens

Wildly hilarious comedy, fantastic costume design, multiple androgynous characters for which NO ONE bats an eye and honestly?? the best queer love story I’ve ever seen in television or film.

The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance

I am not sure if I have ever seen a production with so much love poured into it. The dozens of painstakingly crafted sets and characters, the sheer level of artistry on display - the next thing I saw was always more amazing than the thing I’d seen before it and the amazingness just kept coming with no end in sight throughout the entirety of the show.

And the story itself! The way it deepened and played with the lore of the original movie in the most perfect and unexpected ways! It felt like I was watching the most fantastic and labor intensive piece of fanfiction ever conceived, that was written by a person with a deep passion for and knowledge of the source material.

Speaking of fantastic throwbacks...

Dororo

I’ve said a lot about this one already. While it ultimately fell kind of flat, what it did get right was phenomenal. The motherfucking FIGHT SCENES! The love between bros! The fascinating reconception of Hyakkimaru’s powers and its emphasis on a disabled character actually being portrayed as disabled! The journey of good characters going down the path of evil with good intentions!

Mwah!

Primal eps 1-5

Genndy Tartakovsky’s next big project after the completion of Samurai Jack!

It is gory. Like, extremely gory. Do you know how much gore a thing has to have before I consider it ‘extremely gory?’ It’s a lot. Like...really a lot. There’s a thirty second (or possibly longer. time lost all meaning as I watched it) sequence in which the main character punches the intestines out of a horde of hominids in loving, exacting detail. It’s like Genndy’s letting out all the pent-up gore he was forced to keep in check during the years when he was working on Samurai Jack.

But it isn’t just gore. It’s a journey about the main character’s grief over the sudden, horrific, unexpected death of his entire family. A story which is also mirrored by that of the dinosaur he joins forces with. There were parts during it in which I literally felt my heart being torn in two over the travails of these two, as well as wildly funny and completely adorable parts.

The settings, creature design and fight choreography are insanely creative, as is the decision to do it with no dialogue whatsoever.

And that cliffhanger, DAMN!! They’d better get the next five episodes out soon!

Honorable Mention:

Rick and Morty S4 eps 1-5

This one doesn’t entirely make the list proper because the latter two episodes...were rather subpar. But I can’t entirely keep it off the list because the quality of the first three episodes was off the charts. A particular shoutout to ‘The Old Man and the Seat’ and ‘One Crew Over the Crewcoo’s Morty’ - the former, which somehow managed to use toilet humor, of all things, to reach a crushingly tragic conclusion and the latter, which has a twist better than that of some of my favorite horror movies.

Games

Shogun 2

I didn’t do a whole lot of gaming at all this year. But what I did do is have a fantastic time getting into the Total War franchise. Shogun 2 was my entry point and a FANTASTIC game. The ninja animations! The tiny, exacting animations of every single person running around on a sinking ship! The way Realm Divide changes the game into something much more dangerous and the way I learned to dance on the edge of it until I was good and ready!

Plays

Love’s Labours Lost

One of two Shakespeare plays I saw this year, the other being The Tempest - which was also excellent (especially the part where it legit started raining when Ariel summoned the storm in the first scene and then that showing had to be cancelled. The second time was the charm).

Love’s Labours Lost had some excellent comedy and the usual absurd web of misunderstandings you’d expect to find in your standard Shakespeare romcom. But the thing which pushed it over the edge for me was that...it had a sad ending. It goes against the definition of comedy and has a sad ending. Because it was so unexpected, it hit unexpectedly hard and made it that much more memorable.

#jojo rabbit #akira kurosawa #rick and morty #the dark crystal: age of resistance #good omens #primal #a thought #long post

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jabamaca · 5 years

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An Idea Regarding the Disney Princesses Line-up (LONG)

When my brother and I watched the new Frozen II Teaser, we felt a JRPG vibe towards it. With you know, the going on an adventure into new lands and meeting new characters (gathering up party members) shit.

I just had a great idea: How about an RPG (preferably turn-based), with the Princesses (and some other characters) as playable characters?

Okay, let’s get a run-down through ALL the Disney Princess films (and some films that I think that can approriately be considered as such, i.e. Frozen, Moana) and conceptualize if notable characters are Playable, NPCs, and Villains (and anything in between).

Unmentioned characters (most of the sidekicks) are assumed to portray any other element of the Gaem. Anyways...

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Snow White (Playable) - She is playable, yes; but how? She'll be a Bard(-like?), she will sing to get a debug or to call upon her animal (and non-animal) friends. But later on the story, she will wield a Hand Mirror and use little of the Queen Grimhilde’s power. The story-line is inspired by “A Little Crooked Tale” by forgotten-ladies on DeviantArt. (too lazy to explain the whole idea). Making her a little bit of a Witch late game. She be reluctant about this. I will use the “because plot” phrase quite a bit on this post.

Prince Ferdinand [Is that his real name?] (NPC) - Their setting is set a year or 2 after the film. He and Snow are married and ruling. He will just watch over the Kingdom when Snow joins the party.

Queen Grimhilde (Villain) - N.E.R. (No Explanation Required)

The Huntsman (Anti-Hero / Playable) - He will be an Assassin. He will be like the combination of the appearance/encounter instances of Gilgamesh (FFV) and the very-neutral / conflicted-nature / will-eventually-join-the-party aspect of Shadow (FFVI). A little characterization to him, will do wonders to the story.

Cinderella

Cinderella (Playable) - I imagine, given that she has the Fairy Godmother, she decided to get under her influence.She will be a Conjurer (Mage-Like). I treat the magic involved in the film with the likeness between Alteration and Conjuration school of magic in The Elder Scroll series. Imagine conjuring a Glass Sword amidst the battle, golem magic, cantrip magic. The plot might need to have something really bad happen to Fairy Godmother to justify her taking the role (make her dutiful on this game).

Prince Charming [Let’s make Charming his actual name] (NPC) - Same case as Prince Ferdinand.

Sleeping Beauty

Aurora (Playable) - Nature Wizard, similar with Cinderella but a little more nature-y (plant, animal, weather) given the specialty of her 3 Fairy Godmothers (Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather). The setup for this is also similar with Cinderella’s, but with a touch of Maleficent corruption (’member the needle).

Prince Phillip (Playable) - He will be a... Glorious, noble, badass, motherflippin’, dragon-killin’ Knight!!! I want his character to be more justified, unlike in the “Maleficent” film. That story didn’t happen in this story (opinion and idea influenced by Shadiversity). His father is still alive, so someone will take care of the kingdom once he joins the party.

Maleficent (Villain) - N.E.R. (minus the “characterization” in the Maleficent film, add more mysterious-menacing-villainy)

The Little Mermaid

Ariel (Playable) - I imagine her needing to wield her father’s Trident, due to plot and necessity for her RPG adventures. She will need to go back to being a mermaid for the longevity of the Gaem (because plot). Having wielding the Trident she will have tremendous power, but has little idea on how to use it (game-design-balance shit and plot). With said power she is able to have her own personal sea to “hover” on. Plus, Trident... 3-pointed spear thingy... You can do things with that. Retiarius/Sea-God Mage(?), I don’t know, she has Triton Powers. She be reluctant about this.

Prince Eric (NPC) - He will have to take care of little Melody. (And the kingdom, of course)

Melody (NPC) - She will have her cute moments on the Gaem.

King Triton (NPC) - Something bad will have to happen to him for plot. But will have to have been resolved before leaving the story arc of the “Little Marmaid” area. Yadda-yadda, Triton gives Trident to Ariel, Ariel joins the party, Ariel says goodbye to her family, Ursula continues to be a threat beyond her kingdom/s, end of story-arc. The good shit.

Ursula (Villain) - N.E.R.

Beauty and the Beast

Belle (Playable) - Given that her father (Maurice) is an insane (complimentary) machinist and her obsession with knowledge. I recon that she will take after her father with the Machinist business. She will be equipped with / riding on the contraptions she and her father made in their workshop in the castle (setting is maybe a few years after the film).

Prince Adam (Playable) - Due to plot reasons, he will have to be Beast-form throughout the game (or at least transform to be it when in battle or adventuring). His servants are capable of governing the castle and its kingdom. He be reluctant about this.

Gaston (Villain) - Not really a world-threatening villain. Just an area story-arc villain.

Aladdin

Jasmine (Playable) - Jasmise will be a Dancer in this game. She can have dances that inflict status-effects/buffs on enemies/allies. Imagine the Dancer job on “Final Fantasy Tactics”. She is able to do this because fantasy-magicry, plot, her booty-shaking-capabilities, and game-design.

Aladdin (NPC) - He will not be playable because plot, something REALLY bad happens to him (doesn’t mean die) regarding the Genie and the Lamp. He and the Genie are M.I.A. throughout the game. I made him non-playable to make the Jasmine story-line interesting. I mean: I like Aladdin as a character, but he (and the Genie) being M.I.A. will be the perfect driving-force for Jasmine to be joining the party.

Genie (NPC) - Similar case with Aladdin.

Jaffar (Villain) - All-powerful Genie-Jaffar, baby!!! He be world-threatenning. N.E.R.

Cassim (Playable) - Aladdin’s father. Cassim’s driving-force to joing the party is the same as Jasmine’s. He will be a Thief with magical artifacts in his disposal. He will have a major role on The Hunstman’s character arc.

Pocahontas

Pocahontas (Playable) - She will be a Shaman training under Keketa, and under the mystical influences of the Grandmother Willow Tree. She will be tasked to investigate what is currently wrong amidst the magic of the world. Imagine her controlling nature, like bending the winds to her will.

John Smith (NPC) - He will just be a Trading Ship Captain that always visits Pocahontas given the opportunity. They are still lovers despite the long-distance.

Kocoum (Playable) - Pocahontas’ father (Chief Powhatan) will assign this Survivalist to protect Pocahontas along her journey.

Mulan

Mulan (Playable) - She will be a badass Warrior Princess that can wield any sort of non-magical weapons. She’s that badass (this description may or may not be biased). She joins the party to find out what is wrong with Mushu being on a very weak state on this Gaem.

General Li Shang (NPC) - He still needs to watch-over the kingdom’s army when Mulan joins the party, especially when his co-general/wife is gone.

The Princess and the Frog

Tiana (Playable) - Her story in this game is that a few years after the movie, plot happens which causes Mama Odie to die. Mama Odie, being a magical and spiritual voodoo priestess, goes to Tiana and transfers her essence (spirituality and voodoo powers) to her, making her a Voodoo Priestess; tasking her to confront the world-plot. She be reluctant about this.

Prince Naveen (NPC) - He will just be a supporting character giving emotional/moral support for Tiana.

Lottie (NPC) - Same case with Prince Naveen.

Dr. Facilier (Shadow Man) (Villain) - He be back with a vengeance bigger and badder. N.E.R.

Tangled

[subjected to change, due to Tangled the Series]

Rapunzel (Playable) - She will be the Healer of the party. Her magical hair will grow back because of plot, and part of the plot is the mysterious Moon magic that was present in Tangled: the Series.

Eugene (Playable) - The Trickster of the group. He has the ability to steal like Cassim; but also has some Charismatic (think the Orator skill-set in Final Fantasy Tactics) and Acrobatic skill-sets. He is one of the characters who are sworn to protect Rapunzel.

Cass (Playable) - The Rouge of the group. She can wield her badass-ery on battle. She is other characters who are sworn to protect Rapunzel.

Varian (Anti-Hero) - Now that’s an anti-hero when I see one. Watch Varian’s character in Tangled: the Series, he’s has a very good setup to being an Anti-Hero.

Brave

Merida (Playable) - She will be a Ranger, complete with a personal pet Bear and Eagle, ready for combat. The plot will be set a few years after the movie and she would have already had a few hunting trip from which she acquired her pets.

The Witch (NPC) - The Witch will be the NPC to summon Merida to go on a quest to investigate the plot and join the party.

Frozen

[subjected to change, due to Frozen II]

Anna (NPC) - She will need to watch over Arendelle with the Queen joining the party.

Elsa (Playable) - The party’s Cryomancer, practically N.E.R.

Kristoff (Playable) - He will be the Brawler of the party, much like a beefy tank who uses blunt forces in combat. He is tasked by Anna to be Elsa’s bodyguard.

Hans (Anti-Hero) - His motives will be politics and vengeance. During the plot he would have already gathered a rebel army from the Southern Isles. Not really a world threat, but a recurring threatening hindrance for the party.

Moana

Moana (Playable) - During the plot she will have to gain full-control of her ocean powers, that’s why she will be the Hydromancer of the party.

Maui (Summon) - Given the plot. He will have to be initially be M.I.A. and then found at the end of the Moana area story-arc; making him able to be summoned by Moana in combat.

So that’s most of the idea I got. Took a lot of effort to put this in text form. So, yeah, all of these are just because of one teaser of an upcoming movie. Be aware that this will have NO relation with the Kingdom Hearts series. This “Gaem” has its own story.

[TL:DR - a traditional RPG with the Disney Princesses as the main centerpiece would be awesome]

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riderofthewind · 5 years

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So I just finished reading Mortal Engines

And I needed to rant a bit about differences between the book and movie and why they were poor choices. I’m going to try and avoid generic ‘It’s different so it’s bad’ arguments because those suck, good movie adaptations of books that don’t massively diverge from the book itself are rare, it’s an essential part of making something great in most cases but in this case...oh god maybe they should have just done a shot for shot copy of the book.

This is gonna be a long one, but please join me on this nitpicky angry journey (and let me know the shit you liked/hated about the movie.)

OH GOD THIS MOVIE WAS SO TERRIBLE BUT THIS BOOK IS RATHER GOOD.

Warning: This will be nitpicky but I just...need to.

I'm a firm believer that a movie adaptation does not need to be faithful to the book it is based on to be a great movie. I love The Shining (I actually like the movie a lot more than the book but that's a rant for another day) however Mortal Engines manages to fail both at being a good movie and a good adaptation.

THE BEGINNING

The first like 30 minutes of the movie are almost shot for shot from the intro of the book and it's genuinely very good in both instances. London eats a small town, Hester boards, she tries to stab Valentine (in the movie she succeeds but he's fine. It's a change that I don't really understand because it doesn't actually change anything) and is chased off of London by Tom who is booted off by Valentine to cover his tracks. Tom and Hester group up because Hester is injured, they get picked up by another town who pretend to be nice and then are going to be sold as slaves.

I'm not going to go shot for shot through the changes the movie makes from the book because that'd be pointless. But I specifically wanted to recap this intro section because it's so close to the book and because where it diverges is mostly meaningless (and awful product placement.) However the part where it splits from the book is not just signposted, the script writer literally wrote into the script criticism of the book at this point in the movie. In the book, Hester and Tom remove a floor plating from their room and jump out, escaping before being sold as slaves. In the movie, they attempt this but Hester is too injured to make the jump out of the room and instead they are rescued by Anna Fang moments later. This makes sense and is a change that on the face of it I kinda like because yeah, it makes sense. Hester could barely walk at that point how did she make that jump? But the script in the film is so fucking bad that Hester may as well at this point go "I can't make the jump, i'm too injured" then turn to the camera and wink.

After this point the movie diverges in a lot of ways from the book, although it still follows mostly the same plot it just cuts out a bunch of stuff and ruins every single character then turns into Star Wars at the end because reasons.

WHY THE MOVIE SUCKS

Okay, i'm going to get really nitpicky about specific changes that were for the worse that helped ruin this movie but to start with let me just summary and say. The movie sucks primarily because it's written terribly. Almost every character is reduced to shitty one liners after the intro, worst of all being Anna Fang, Valentine is reduced into generic villain, but even the characters who are similar to their book versions are just written so poorly that what worked in the book doesn't work on screen. Also Shrike's name sound so much like "Shrek" when being said out loud that it's hilarious. But overall it does stay surprisingly close to the book in plot up until the end, redacting a lot of stuff but rarely adding additional fluff. The way I'd break it down would be First act: Most similar to the book, overall very good. If the whole movie as this good it'd be a great movie.

Second act: Starts to diverge from the book to shorten it down for the length of a film. The writing is generally very very bad here, primarily because this section focusses on Shrike and Anna Fang. The former of which is reduced to saying "Kill Hester" over and over and the latter of whom is reduced to saying shitty one liners.

Third act: It's Star Wars but bad and has almost nothing to do with the book other than the location.

Also, I'm going to focus on story and characters here but keep in your mind that after the first act the cinematography gets terrible. Like genuinely it feels like a different movie also in terms of how poorly shot and edited the whole movie was after Act 1.

THADDEUS VALENTINE

Portrayed by Hugo Weaving in the film (doing his best Sean Bean impression) and uh yeah, the changes to him are central to the changes to the whole plot and basically what makes the movie so bad.

To begin with, Valentine is somewhat mysterious to start with. We know he's the Mayor's right hand man, he boots Tom off London after he hears Hester claim Valentine killed her parents but otherwise is charismatic and generally comes off as a very affable and likeable person. He is outspoken about the class divides in London having risen up from being a scavenger to the upper echelons of society himself. Both the movie and the book do this, it's great, he's a great character.

Valentine murdered Hester Shaw's parents long before the start of the book to take a piece of a weapon called MEDUSA back to London, which is used to rebuild the weapon which they intend to use to murder lots of people and basically make London an unstoppable monster. The big change the movie makes to Valentine's character is that this is his plan. Valentine does this in secret somehow, murders the mayor, stages a coup and takes London off course towards Asia to start firing off Medusa willy nilly and kill everyone and "save London" because they'll have so much to consume.

In the book this is the Mayor's plan and Valentine is being blackmailed into doing it because he wants his daughter to grow up in high society and have a better life. This is much better for a variety of reasons but the main one being that book doesn't reveal this until much later (in fact Valentine isn't even in most of the book) and it is foreshadowed by an earlier encounter with a bunch of pirates which didn't make it into the movie (which is fine because it's rather superfluous other than this foreshadowing.)

These changes aren't inherently bad but the way they are handled in the movie it basically just results in Valentine being an incredibly charismatic but evil villain the whole way through with absolutely no depth to his character outside of that. In the book what he did to get where he is puts strain on him and his daughter's relationship in a way that builds and results in his eventual suicide by refusing to escape with Hester and Tom, despite Hester's somewhat forgiveness of him seeing how hard he is trying to save his innocent daughter.

LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER

It's heavily implied in the book that Valentine is Hester's father and not her mother's husband. But this only comes up like once in a conversation between Valentine and his daughter, Hester never learns about it and it's kind of a non-thing. It's only really there to show that Valentine was willing to kill someone who might be his daughter in order to build this life for his definite daughter.

In the movie, this revelation is made during the climactic battle between Hester and Valentine on the back of a ship during a fucking dogfight and oh god everything about it is the worst. He literally picks her up and dangles her over the edge of the ship and almost line for line repeats the Darth Vader father revelation from Star Wars. It's insane and goddamn I hate it.

SPEAKING OF STAR WARS

The movie changes the whole final sequence so that instead of it being a struggle for survival for each of the characters and the big climactic defeat of the villain being caused by the fact he was literally meddling with powers he didn't understand (in this case, old tech than they haphazardly rebuilt and didn't know how to fix when it broke) to being a generic big budget action sequence that copies more and more stuff from Star Wars. There's literally a sequence where a bunch of fighters are taking out guns so that someone can do a trench run. The action cumulates in Tom flying into the heart of London and blowing up the engines. It's just bad and generic and literally just Star Wars. It's boring as hell. As mentioned earlier, it's also just not shot well at all and it's a mess. They do these weird awful zoom ins every time a scene takes place inside MEDUSA and it's hideous and I have no idea why it's the way it is.

Other stuff:

ANNA FANG

I've mentioned a few times in this rant that Anna Fang only speaks in one liners in the movie but I can't get across exactly how shitty it is. She's damn cool in the book and the way they translated that to the movie was basically "she has a snarky one liner for every situation."

She does look cool though.

VALENTINE'S DAUGHTER

Katherine I think is her name? I literally just finished this book an hour ago and I don't remember. One of my complaints about the movie at the time was that she is a nothing character who does basically nothing. In the book she is a nothing character who does basically nothing but she also has a pet wolf. She exists solely to give Valentine a reason for being blackmailed, which in the movie isn't even a thing so she may as well have been cut out of it entirely. She sucks in both though so whatever.

HESTER SHAW

She is constantly described as ugly and deformed after what Valentine did to her. In the movie she has a kinda cute scar but that's it. This sucks but again, whatever. It's a movie, that's how this shit rolls unfortunately. It's hard to market your movie when the protagonist looks like Two Face in TDK.

All in all, I'm glad I went on this journey of reading the book after seeing and hating the movie. It was fun in its own weird way. I definitely enjoyed it more than being excited for an adaptation of a book I liked only for it to suck at least. That movie was bad but it led me to reading a good book so it did something of worth.

#Mortal Engines #spoilers #books #ranting

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dcarevu · 5 years

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Christmas With The Joker

“It’s not relentlessly cheerful, is it?”

So, only one episode in, and they do a Christmas special. One episode into this series that they wanted to be dark, serious, and adult…and they do a Christmas special. A Batman. Christmas. Special. Huh. Well, it is becoming that time of year. So let’s sleigh right into: Christmas With The Joker

SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT

Villain: The Joker Robin: Yes Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky Director: Kent Butterworth Animator: Akom Airdate: November 13, 1992 Episode Grade: B This episode holds the distinction of being the very first episode of Batman The Animated Series I ever saw. I had seen Mask Of The Phantasm prior (which was a glorious place to start), and eventually Warner Brothers started releasing these Batman TAS VHS tapes each featuring a particular villain. My mom bought me one featuring the Joker, which included this episode, along with The Laughing Fish. I picked it out specifically because of the screenshot of the Joker wrapped up in his straightjacket shown on the back, and I assumed this was from his origin episode. I didn’t get an origin episode, but I did get a Christmas special that I now watch every single year. I absolutely love it.

I’ve always been someone that enjoys the darker side of Christmas. Carol Of the Bells. A Christmas Carol. That one Twilight Zone episode featuring a drunk Santa Claus that ends up making Christmas magical for everyone. It’s funny, because despite this, I very much enjoy the more innocent side of Halloween (think of cute Beistle die cuts or Scooby Doo). This episode fits right into this archetype, and maybe that is why I love it so much. Of course, this isn’t the only reason. We also get the first appearance of the Joker, voiced by Mark Hamill (yes, that Mark Hamill), and overall a very entertaining episode, Christmas concept aside.

So it’s Christmas Eve, and Dick Grayson (Robin) is home for the holidays. All he wants to do is spend the night relaxing to Christmas dinner and It’s a Wonderful Life, but Bruce isn’t about to let up his night watch just because of the following day. He just knows that something will happen, and right as he finally gives in to Robin’s movie request, we see that the Joker has somehow interrupted pretty much every channel broadcast, and is airing a Christmas special all his own. Featuring a kidnapped Commissioner Gordon, Detective Bullock, and Summer Gleeson, a news reporter (I had no idea it was her before reading it on the DCAU wiki. Kinda cool that it’s not simply some unnamed character!). Batman, aware of the Joker’s love of destructive games sets out with Robin to find his broadcast, and put an end to the Christmas Eve havoc. Throughout the episode he gets sidetracked by an exploding train track (done by the Joker of course), a barrage of cannonballs being fired straight into the city (done by, again, the Joker), and a barrage of Christmas-themed dangers at an abandoned toy factory. At the end of the episode, with the Joker found, and the kidnapped three dangling above a vat of acid, the Joker has Batman open up a special present addressed specifically for him (complete with bat wrapping paper). “Don’t do it, Batman!” shouts Robin, but Batman knows that it’s the only way to save the three and Gotham City as a whole. What’s inside? A pie in the face, what else? Immediately afterward, although Joker tries to run, he slips on a roller skate and nearly falls into the acid himself…but is caught by Batman on the way down. Everyone is saved, and the two heroes even get to finally watch their Christmas special in peace.

Let’s talk about the two big things with this episode: Robin and the Joker. The idea of using an older Robin was obviously a way to bring some realism to the character, and to not ruin the tone that they were going for. Robin is historically kind of a goofy character, and was meant to be a role model for the kiddies. Wanting to avoid specifically kid elements in their show, they used a college-aged Robin. I think it works sometimes, and not so much at other times. It is a little weird seeing such an old character wearing the Robin outfit, but they also made an effort to tone down the silliness of it a little bit. Thank god we didn’t get those little elf shoes and those freshly-waxed legs. While Robin’s usefulness varies throughout the show, I think in this episode they work pretty well together, and for an episode like this, it gives Batman someone to talk to, and introduces some comic relief. Hearing Batman referred to as a Scrooge and seeing him bag on Robin’s choice of movies is pretty funny, and I feel like these two have similar exchanges about Christmas as a lot of us do in real life. The action scenes with Robin were also pretty good, and I never really felt like either of them had nothing to do/were a damsel in distress. That’s the one thing about Robin that bugs me sometimes, and it wasn’t until much later when they got consistently good at having more than one superhero on screen at once, balancing everything out. I will admit, some of it did get a little too corny for my liking…particularly the way Batman would bark things like, “Easy, Robin!” But it also reminded me a little bit of the Adam West show in a charming way that I accept much more with a Christmas episode. So take these comments how you take them.

And the Joker? Fantastic debut. He’s funny. He’s menacing. He’s batshit insane. He’s charismatic. He’s everything a classic, definitive Joker should be. I love Heath as much as anyone else, but being a great Joker vs being a definitive Joker are two different things. I wouldn’t get rid of either of them, and I think they both perfectly represent the type of character they are meant to be. I think the Joker changed a lot throughout this show. He giggles unlike later in the series here, and he’s clearly mentally unstable in a different, albeit very fun way. But then there are moments like where he laughs in someone’s face because he knows that her mother is on a train that is headed straight for a blown up bridge. He’s that character that you love to hate, and as much as you want Batman to sock each and every one of those yellow teeth out of his mouth, you also can’t help but root for him to keep getting away just so that you get more of him. It is kinda weird for me picturing this episode’s version of the Joker with Harley, and Harley Quinn may be the main reason why the Joker’s personality changed a little bit and got a hair more serious. In this episode he’s like, well, a cartoon character. More than usual. He has a stylized personality as much as he has a stylized look.

When I mentioned earlier that this episode fits alongside a lot of the darker aspects of Christmas, to clarify a little bit more, it’s not just because you have a psychotic killing clown and a scary guy dressed as a bat. It also has the vintage aspect to it. You have the “dark deco” 30′s aesthetic already in place. Then you add the vintage-looking wintery landscape...the Nutcracker music...and even the dark, snowy city that almost makes me think of Victorian England. I think all of this creates the old-timey Christmas feel without shoving religious morals, or Santa Claus, or greedy marketing down our throats. It succeeds in being a Christmas special almost exclusively through vibes, and mention of it being the holiday. Okay, and Robin’s green and red pajamas are pretty festive as well. The DCAU would do a couple more Christmas episodes later, another one of them being Batman, and while this one is also great, it communicates Christmas in a vastly different way than this one, a way which is much more modern. Both can be great, but this is the Batman Christmas special I will come back to year after year.

As far as my girlfriend Char’s impressions, she really liked this episode too. As someone who has never seen a single episode of the DCAU before this blog, she said that she expected and was hoping for Harley Quinn, but wasn’t necessarily disappointed that she didn’t show up. Picturing a world of Batman TAS before Harley’s existence is something that I feel like we all sorta gloss over since it’s almost like she’s always existed. And while the show got better with her first appearance, I’m glad that they could do a solid Joker beforehand. Char loved the Joker’s representation, and was surprisingly very much in line with what she expected from the character. She said that he was very creepy, but in a very entertaining way. She also noted his design, particularly his color pallet (wait till she sees TNBA). Some more comments about Harley Quinn were made, and she’s scared for Harley after seeing what a maniac the Joker is. She ships Harley and Poison Ivy, something that I see a lot. I don’t necessarily disagree 100%, but, well, we’ll save a lot of that conversation for later.

An older Robin was something that Char was really into, and I got the impression that she never really cared for the super young Robin, as, well, yeah, it is kinda strange. Back when the character was introduced, maybe not so much, nut nowadays? Yeah. What the hell, Batman. Also, Loren Lester provides a voice that she always sorta pictures with the character, and again, she noted how definitive everything seemed.

Some other stray observations she made: She agreed with me on some of Batman’s lines being corny, but she also found them a little bit creepy.It was a unique Christmas special. Batman and Robin sorta feel like father and son, but only sorta. This is something the show will get into much more as we go on. She thought the Joker would make a hilarious game show host if he weren’t, well, evil. She noted how shitty the star on the tree at the very beginning was. Apparently Arkham Asylum needs a better interior decorator. And lastly, she loved the ending. As do I. It’s so unsettling, yet so perfect. Better than what I expected when I saw the screenshot on the back of the VHS as a kid. Char’s grade: B

Major Firsts: The Joker, Robin, Summer Gleeson, Arkham Asylum, Xmas episode, we see the Batmobile has a TV, a musical number (The Joker sings) Next time: Nothing To Fear

#dcau #dc animated universe #batman #batman tas #batman the animated series #the joker #christmas #xmas #christmas with the joker #robin

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tgunn64 · 7 years

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Favorite Villains - Makoto Shishio (Rurouni Kenshin)

Rurouni Kenshin is a classic anime--it’s tone shifting from relaxed and serene to intense and dark at the drop of a hat, it’s easily one of Shonen Jump’s best. It has a huge strength in leaving feelings of anticipation--the first opening shows transparent images of every villain before and after the current point of the show over Kenshin--the last among them this mysterious looking fellow covered in bandages like a mummy. What was he? A masked rival to Kenshin? Some kind of magical, living mummy? We would have to wait until season 2 to meet his true identity; Makoto Shishio. Character design is so much for than anything superficial; it’s one of the most important foundations for setting expectations for a character, and that alone is massively important for how someone is characterized. Shishio, from the moment I got the glimpse at him, peaked my interest with his look--it may be one of the strongest designs ever for how thought provoking it can be. It raises so many questions, he looked sickly but also terrifying--he looked human but also nothing short of otherwordly. Just about everyone who watched Kenshin recalls the same story of waiting to see what the deal with this bandage clad monster man was.

When Shishio finally does leave his mark, he is FAST to leave an impression. His planning results in the death of one of the highest ranking officials of the Meiji government--resulting in the entirey of the then-peaceful nation of Japan to be shook up. This might be of poor taste, but y’know those videos of civilians reacting to the 9/11 attacks in New York? It felt like that, the same fear and anxiety when your nation is spat upon and attacked, by someone you barely even know, and Kenshin is instantly motivated to save the day. All of this is achieved while Shishio is still only spoken of in whispers. Before he officially walks on screen in person, he achieved much, much more than any other villain on the show. When we finally meet Shishio, the rumors Kenshin has heard of him come full circle with his own side of the story. Shishio was Kenshin’s successor as the government Manslayer, killing scores of people until the Meiji government decided he knew too much. To that end, they ambushed him, coating him in oil and lighting him on fire. Miraculously, Shishio survived the encounter, using the experience to fuel his new mentality; the strong live, and the weak die. If he’s strong enough to survive an experience that like, then surely he is fittest to rule Japan. To boot, this makes him a perfect archenemy for Kenshin, who defends the weak, and is constantly fighting his past mistakes as the Manslayer himself, which have practically come to life as Shishio, the grey ghost of his sins.

Shishio is immensely intelligent and even a bit philosophical. He’s an extreme combination of anarchist and social darwinist, and yet, he never once comes off as insane. He’s seen a LOT and his words have great weight. He so earnestly believes every word he says, it’s no wonder so many people follow him. He’s also much younger than many villains; i know this is an odd point to mention, but at the tender age of just 27 years old, he isn’t as jaded or nihilistic as a lot of villains are despite his past; he isn’t above enjoying the simple things and the perks of being a conqueror, such as appropriating a torn down village’s hot springs or enjoying some sake with his main squeeze, Yumei. Speaking of which, I often say that one of the strongest aspects of a villain is their relationships with their entourage, and that is truer no where than with Shishio. He has a massive faction called the ‘Ten Swords’, and for such a huge collective, he has at least an inkling with all of them. Yuemi is only really there to be his arm candy, but they truly love one another. He passionately kisses her before battle and makes sure she’s protected. That said, when this ‘dog eat dog’ world forces him to, Shishio plunges his sword through Yumei to get in a cheap shot on Kenshin. But Yumei understands why this needed to be done, dying in Shishio’s arms with no regrets. It’s a twisted love but one where there’s no misunderstanding.

Hoji, Shishio’s top advisor, is another interesting aspect--Shishio’s charisma and teachings have made Hoji a fanatic of his, so much so that he believes he cannot lose. And Soujiro, Shishio’s champion, has a heartbreaking arc where he’s torn between the ideals that saved him taught by Shishio, and Kenshin’s more kind hearted way. Shishio teaches his followers that this world is hell itself, so there’s no point in protecting those who cannot protect themselves. It’s survival of the fittest, and the weak will feed the strong in this life of carnage. Steve Blum is the voice of Shishio, and he does a stellar job selling him at his most casual and furious. I cannot imagine him with any other voice, no matter what adaptions and such may go by. Speaking of which, Shishio was also playable in J-Stars Victory Vs, a fighting game crossing over various characters of Jump manga. While Shishio is no doubt the most famous villain from Rurouni Kenshin, he hadn’t been in the public eye for some time, and seeing him in a video game almost two decades after his story in the manga ended is super uplifting. His role in the game’s story isn’t big, but he gets a fun alliance with One Piece’s Akainu, both trying to make their flaming ideals a reality among the many characters.

And needless to say, Shishio is a brilliant planner and deadly fighter. His strikes on Japan are never anything less than devastating, even if he is foiled at the end of the day, and he has a dozen tricks up his sleeves. His sword is coated in the fats and oils of all he has killed, meaning he can ignite those oils and wield fire--which not only raises the stakes far beyond anyone Kenshin has faced before, but speaks to the mentality that he grows stronger with every weaker foe he ‘devours’. Unfortunately, all that Shishio is built upon culminates in his demise. Because of the burns he endured, all of his sweat pores are inactive, meaning he cannot regulate his own body heat, and fighting for more than a half hour causes him to catch fire and die. This is ultimately what does him in, and the real kicker is that his followers are all so ingrained that their master is unstoppable, they don’t bother to help him. Shishio was too charismatic for his own good, and in the end, the man who believed that the strongest survive was killed but what he couldn’t control. Kenshin, Sano, Saito, and Aoshi all attempted to kill Shishio, but in the end, they didn’t defeat him, they survived him. As if that send off wasn’t enough--we get treated to one last scene after Shishio’s death. He, along with Yumei, awaken in Hell, where they proclaim to set out to conquer it as they did Japan. Shishio is my favorite in the slew of wonderful anime villains, and in my opinion, he’s what they should all strive to be.

#tommy's favorite villains #makoto shishio #rurouni kenshin

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serpenscapes · 7 years

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Reasons to love One Piece (and why you should consider giving it a chance):

- Ridiculously large and colourful cast of characters (currently at 866 named characters) each of whom have incredibly unique designs and stories

- There is a reason for everything – a character who is a gold-digger has a reason for it, a character with a pinwheel in his hat has a reason for it, a CHARACTER WHO LITERALLY DRESSES LIKE A BABY ALSO HAS A REASON.

- Oda (the mangaka) has included his own interpretations of many mythical creatures (giants, mermaids, dwarves, Amazons) in the series as well as inventing many of his own species and tribes, so the breadth of races and species in One Piece is boundless.

- Insanely well-done foreshadowing. Things that happen 200 chapters ago come back and slap you in the face, or you’ll rewatch it and go “OH MY GOD THAT’S WHAT HE MEANT?” Something that happens in the FIRST EPISODE you don’t realise the true meaning or power of until approximately four hundred episodes later, and then you rewatch episode one and your whole world implodes from sheer BRILLIANCE.

- The moral of the entire series is to follow your ambitions and pursue them no matter the cost, even if it means sailing a whole fucking ocean, and it’s beautifully portrayed and remarkably moving.

- THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT - a character who insists he will kill someone if they get in the way of his ambition is later willing to sacrifice himself and his own goals for that same person. A woman is certain that she is a burden to her friends and says they should leave her to die, but later when potentially under threat she says she doesn’t mind, as she knows her friends will protect her.

- Male-female relationships aren’t fraught with sexuality or romance as they often are in other series—they’re FRIENDS. JUST FRIENDS. There’s a lot of skinship and hugging and spending time together and it’s all perfectly acceptable, with none of the unnecessary *doki doki* or blushing.

- Oda invents a lot of unique technologies within the universe e.g. instead of regular telephones there are “transponder snails”, as well as cyborgs powered by cola, cards which can track the movement and location of a specific person, coatings that allow a ship to travel underwater and many other things.

- You will ENVY the amount of confidence and conviction the main characters have – not only in themselves, but in one another.

- Speaking of envy, the friendship and bonds between the main characters will make you cry your heart out. The genuine and unwavering loyalty they have to one another is unlike anything I have ever seen in any other series, EVER.

- No, really, there’s a scene where the main characters DECLARE WAR ON THE WORLD GOVERNMENT in order to get back one of their friends. THEY LITERALLY SET A FLAG ON FIRE AND DECLARE WAR ON THE WHOLE WORLD JUST TO GET THEIR FRIEND BACK.

- Multiple strong, well-developed female characters who suffer incredible hardships and have backstories that do not revolve around males or romantic relationships

- Passes the Bechdel test

- No unnecessary romance, and any romance that is present is used entirely for comic effect

- Emphasis is placed on bonds between family/friends/platonic love

- Due to the foreshadowing and the great number of iconic scenes as well as the hilarity of some parts, the series has great rewatchability value.

- DEVIL FRUITS – Magical fruits that give you special powers if you eat them at the cost of you not being able to swim. The powers vary from things as badass as being able to turn into fire or cause earthquakes to shit as dumb as turning into a giraffe or making clothes appear on people.

- Best-selling manga in history, 4th best-selling of any comic globally ever (behind only Superman, Batman and The Beano).

- The protagonist (Luffy) is straightforward and driven and doesn’t carry around the heavy emotional burdens and questioning narratives that so many other shounen protagonists do—he does whatever he wants and doesn’t care what others will think of him for it. Luffy is incredibly cheerful, happy-go-lucky and charismatic and this is noted by one of the other characters – he has the ability to make anyone around him into his ally. Despite coming off as an idiot (which he often is) he’s also incredibly intuitive and intelligent in combat and all of this together makes him by far one of the most uniquely appealing protagonists in any shounen manga. It is impossible to dislike him.

- Clever portrayal of characters—Oda intentionally uses very little kanji when writing Luffy’s dialogue in order to portray how simplistic he is. Similarly, he gives Luffy almost no thought-bubbles because Luffy just says everything he thinks.

- Luffy has the power of the gomu-gomu fruit which means his whole body is rubber and it works very well because: a) His power isn’t ridiculously strong b) He can get very creative with it which leads to a lot of very fun fight scenes and great chances to take advantage of perspective shots, as well as mess around with proportions and this overall adds a lot to the style of the series

- Every single character is a certified BADASS. Even the characters who you don’t want to like.

- Variety of well-written and incredibly unique antagonists, each with their own motivations, powers and backgrounds.

- When a reader asked Oda if there would be any romance for or between the crew members in One Piece he responded that ‘their only love is adventure’ and I find that completely adorable (and also thank God no romance.)

- It’s really quite difficult to HATE any of the characters. There are over 800 characters and I can only say I genuinely HATE two of them. Many characters are difficult to hate once you learn their backstories and motivations, or simply because as characters they’re so compelling and charismatic.

- Ever-expanding and HUGELY creative universe: there’s an island in the sky, an island in the prehistoric ages, an island made of candy, an island on the back of a giant elephant, an island on the ocean floor and many more. The scale is quite literally insane when you realise that Oda has invented an entire WORLD from scratch and is making the characters traverse the whole thing.

- Raises immensely important questions regarding morality, good and evil, politics and the governmental system, monarchy, revolution and rebellion, class, gender, race, corruption etc.

- The government and marines in One Piece present themselves as a force of justice, but then there are marines known for being corrupt, but then there also some marines who are good?!?!? MORAL DILEMMA?!?!

- The pirates in the world of One Piece are viewed by the government as scumbags, but then some pirates are good?!?! But then some pirates are complete assholes?!?!?! FURTHER MORAL DILEMMA?!?!?

- You want to hate a character for doing something but then are they just doing their job?!?! But is their job motivated by the right things?!?! But are they allowed to question this?!?! SO MANY MORAL DILEMMAS?!?!

- Seriously all the moral ambiguity adds so much to the depth of One Piece.

- Even Luffy specifically says he is not a hero, doesn’t want to be a hero, and while he admires heroes he himself is not a hero because he’s too selfish.

- CONSPIRACY THEORIES - The government have destroyed all knowledge of a century in history which is referred to as “The Void Century” and part of the intrigue of One Piece is to find out WHAT HAPPENED AND WHY DID THE GOVERNMENT WANT TO DESTROY ALL TRACES AND WHAT ARE THEY HIDING?!?!

- There are so many crossing over storylines which then come back later i.e. a character from early in the series is waiting for a group of people, approximately 300 episodes later we MEET WHO THEY ARE WAITING FOR.

- Cartoonish art style allows for HUGELY expressive characters, dynamic action scenes and a massive variety of (often insane) character designs.

- It’s hilarious – the guy who is (arguably) the most badass in the series has such a shit sense of direction he gets lost on a straight path. There’s a reindeer on the crew who gets referred to by another member as “emergency food supply.” Another crew member constantly assumes that the other members have died or been eaten. One guy constantly gets “I-can’t-go-on-this-island” disease. When Luffy meets a new species the first thing he asks is “Do you poop?”

- It will make you cry over: a whale, a ship, a hat, a dog, a bento. No, seriously.

- You will cry over a lot of other things too

- (If you watch the anime) it has the most breath-taking soundtrack and the seiyuu all do an incredible job of voicing their characters. All of the opening songs are also TRULY karaoke-worthy.

- (If you read the manga) Oda uses the chapter covers to tell side-stories about other minor characters or villains, as well as taking drawing requests from readers. The double-page colourspreads and the volume covers are also gorgeous. His Q&As at the end of each chapter are also hilarious because he is a sarcastic fuck.

- Oda confirmed in said Q&A that Luffy’s dick stretches. Later in the story there’s a scene where a group of women who’ve never seen a man before are pulling at Luffy’s dick (while he’s unconscious) thinking it’s a mushroom that’s grown on him and saying “why is this stretching.” I’m not kidding. I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING.

- Despite the individual “arcs” and their unique storylines there is a single overarching goal throughout the series—to find One Piece, a narrative that has lasted over 20 years and is still going strong. Said single narrative allows for an attachment to the series because you REALLY want to see the end goal when they finally reach it; a lot of other series lack this level of scope.

- Each of the main characters have their own ambitions and goals and are driven to achieve these throughout the series, often by a heart-wrenching and tear-inducing backstory (all of which are depicted extremely well.)

- The arcs vary so wildly in their storylines and settings that the intrigue and fun never stops; you’re guaranteed to find one you like – examples: there’s an arc where they have to stop a civil war, an arc based on overthrowing a fake God, a prison-break arc, multiple arcs where they aim to rescue a friend/family member, a huge war and an actual HALLOWEEN ARC WITH ZOMBIES AND SHADOW MONSTERS AND A HAUNTED HOUSE (so good.)

- There are SO MANY QUESTIONS AND SO MANY THINGS WE STILL NEED TO KNOW and the fact that Oda has run the series for 20 years and still managed to keep up such a high level of intrigue and creativity is genuinely amazing

- There’s an undead skeleton with an afro who wears a top-hat, plays the violin (+ other instruments) and has a cane-sword, was also temporarily a rock star and makes terrible skeleton-based puns/jokes. There’s also a tiny reindeer who can transform because he ate the human-human devil fruit. Also he’s a doctor and gets embarrassed and swears at people when they complement him. Both of these characters are amazing and have back stories that will make you cry your eyes out. And they’re just TWO of the characters.

- The series is my go-to when I need cheering up because the characters are so well-developed that they are easy to sympathise with/develop an attachment towards, the adventures they go on are a good mixture of fun, painful/well-constructed, the determination they have to achieve their goals is incredibly motivational and above all, the dedication the characters have to each other is heartbreakingly genuine.

- In conclusion: One Piece is completely stunning

#One Piece #pls love one piece pls I don't write a 2000 word document for just anything #OP #onepiece #ワンピース

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seriouslyhooked · 7 years

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When Love Reigns (A CS AU) Part 20/?

A Princess Diaries/What A Girl Wants inspired, CS fic where Emma is a senior in college who discovers her father is not just a random stranger her mom never really knew, but the King of a country called Genovia. Yet when it rains, it pours and as Emma comes to terms with what it means to be a princess, she also must face what it means to fall in love with her father’s trusted aid, Killian Jones. This story is filled with fluff and rated M.

Ch. 1 Here, Ch. 2 Here, Ch. 3 Here, Ch. 4 Here, Ch. 5 Here, Ch. 6 Here, Ch. 7 Here , Ch. 8 Here, Ch. 9 Here, Ch. 10 Here, Ch. 11 Here, Ch. 12 Here, Ch. 13 Here, Ch. 14 Here, Ch. 15 Here, Ch. 16 Here, Ch. 17 Here, Ch. 18 Here, Ch. 19 Here : Also on FanFiction here.

A/N: So as promised, this chapter is going to bring an answer for our heroes on that they can do next. Along the way though I am bringing a sweet moment between Emma and David, help from an unexpected source, and as always CS fluff. Hope you guys enjoy!

Dear Diary,

If the last few weeks have taught me anything it’s that the people you love and the people who love you can get you through anything.

…………

“And now the question on everyone’s mind is what will Princess Emma do?”

Over the past two weeks Emma had faced countless variations of this question. The speculation in the news about her right to the crown was constant and try as she might Emma couldn’t avoid all of it. Unless she wanted to remain trapped in a bubble and hide away from the world she had to keep pushing through and to try and stay cool while she did, not just for her own reputation but her family’s as well.

That was easier said then done, especially on mornings like this one when she’d merely attempted to visit the city for some time away from the castle and was confronted by reporters and news crews just outside the palace gates all screaming out for a comment.

“Princess, how are you holding up?”

“Princess, is the King planning a counterattack against his opponents in Parliament?”

“Princess, are you about to flip us the bird and tell us to leave you the hell alone?”

Okay so maybe the last one never happened, but Emma had to find the humor in all of this craziness even if she knew at the end of the day that it wasn’t really their fault. The people of Genovia were rightly curious about everything going on. As soon as word had gotten out about the obstacle in Emma’s way to inheriting (thanks to one insanely annoying and petty Viscount who lived for the attention) they let their concern be known. Many people were on her side, arguing against the sexism and the outdated law, but there were some (too many in Emma’s opinion) who gave the law leeway, citing tradition and the customs of Genovia as being the most important thing.

Emma only wished that there could have been a way around airing it out like this, at least until they had a definitive answer one way or another on whether she could someday be queen. She hated to think that the country was divided because of her. This was a beautiful place, a nation built on love of each other and respect amongst neighbors. The last thing Emma wanted was to undo that in any way, even if all of this was out of her control. But unfortunately, at the end of the day, Emma didn’t have the luxury of fixing this. This was a political battle she didn’t understand and she was nothing but a pawn in the game of a delusional old man trying to improve his status.

“The Princess Emma is a lovely girl. Smart, charismatic, a beauty to be sure, but she does not know this country. She does not know our customs and our ways, our people and our legacy. What the people of Genovia need is a leader who is one of us, or at the very least who chooses one of us to build their life with. We deserve a sign of good faith that the Princess’ love of country runs as deep as the monarch we deserve.”

The sound bite infuriated Emma in every way and part of her regretted that she’d heard it at all, yet she had to know what she was up against even if it was the ravings of a maniacal villain with an air of self-importance that made her want to scream. Emma knew the truth of who she was and how much she’d grown to care for Genovia but still the claims held this power over her, an ability to make her angry in a way she wasn’t used to and because she was a princess she couldn’t cave to her want to throw her hands up in the air and yell. So instead she was out riding, letting herself and her horse get the workout they both needed.

The pace Emma set was frantic, built to test the endurance of both horse and rider but it was exactly what Emma wanted. With this level speed there was no time for critics, no space for the hostile words of her opponents. It was the best way to clear her mind and rid herself of all the tension. By the time she was back at the stables an hour later, her mind had cleared and she no longer felt beholden to anyone else’s opinions on who she was or what she could do.

“Thank you girl. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” Emma affectionately petted her horse’s side and laughed when she nuzzled into her slightly. It felt good to laugh, and it was much needed after two weeks of almost everyone tip toeing around her on eggshells and talking around the problem at hand.

“It sure is good to see that smile again.”

Emma turned from the stall to find her father sending a smile of his own her way. She was surprised to see him though, mostly because he and Killian had been working almost non-stop to try and find a way around the antiquated law.

“I haven’t been that bad.” Her father shook his head, smiling thoughtfully.

“No. You’ve been the picture of strength, Emma. In a terrible situation you’ve done nothing but make me proud.”

“Did Mom tell you about the orphanage?”

Her father nodded and Emma tried to hold back her wince. If he heard that they went to the orphanage then he probably also heard about the innumerable hoops they had to jump through to evade the press.

“She was very sorry I missed my chance to come. Something about us having the most miraculous young woman as a daughter.” Emma rolled her eyes even though she appreciated his not bringing up the bad parts of her trip and her father laughed. “What? You don’t believe me? That’s what she said.”

“Oh I believe that’s what she said. I just think it’s a little much.”

“If you were us you wouldn’t think so.” Emma smiled again, giving way to her father’s unwavering confidence in her.

“So let me guess. Mabrey dropped the whole thing and you’re home early to give me the good news?” Her father paled at her joke and Emma immediately wished she could take it back. She didn’t want to put him through any unnecessary pain.

“No, Emma, I’m -,” She had to cut her father off before he continued on.

“You’re sorry, I know. But you don’t have to be Dad. This isn’t your fault, and honestly the whole world doesn’t hinge on this. I’ll be fine whatever happens.”

“I hate to break it to you, honey, but to me the whole world does hinge on whether you and your mother are happy to me.”

“I’m a big girl, Dad. I can handle this.”

Her father surprised her by bringing her in for a hug that Emma gladly accepted. He could see through her denials to the fact that everything wasn’t actually fine. This still hurt and Emma was hoping for a better resolution then things ending this way even if she knew she’d be strong enough to face the worst-case situation.

“There is no doubt in my mind that you can, Emma. But I thought it might be worth it to give you this.”

Emma watched her father pull back and grab a parcel he must have brought when she wasn’t paying attention. He handed it to her and on the cover she could see that it was the book she’d been given months ago back at the Little Readers League gala. There on the front cover was a title ‘Why We Love Emma’ and a picture of almost all of the kids and Emma together with Belle and the other volunteers from a day last winter.

Her fingers traced the flowing script along the cover and it was impossible not to smile. Emma had looked at this book a thousand times, taking comfort just from the fact that it existed, but she’d never read through it fully. For her father to realize that now was the perfect time to change that only proved how close they were despite the many years they’d never known each other.

“I thought it would be a good reminder of who you are and what kind of power you have, crown or not.” Emma tried to smile but she felt too overwhelmed to be sure if she did.

“I don’t know what to say.” King David smiled.

“Then don’t say anything. Reading is more fun anyway.”

Emma laughed lightly at the wise words and felt her father press a kiss to her forehead before turning back around and heading out of the stables. Emma debated staying here in the comfort of this place to read these stories, but there were too many people around for her to find the privacy she wanted. Instead Emma headed out in the opposite direction of her father to the gardens. She found a seat on one of the beautiful benches, surrounded by flowers on all sides and she dug in, hoping to find more answers inside this book.

As expected, the stories were ranging in their complexity and thoughtfulness. Since she’d worked with kids of all ages, there was a diversity in ability and skill. The little kids drew abstract pictures or at best stick figures, but they all made Emma smile, as did their signatures with backwards letters or rickety looking lines. Even the youngest among them though had moving stories, one of which was written in Belle’s handwriting but came from a little boy named Elijah.

‘My favorite teacher is Miss Emma. My Mom says she isn’t my teacher, but I know she’s wrong. She helps me read and that’s important. Sometimes I don’t like to be in my house. It gets noisy and too loud but Miss Emma always makes it quiet. My favorite place to go is the library. It’s like magic. Miss Emma says we all have magic when we have a book but I think Miss Emma has more than most people.’

Emma felt tears form at the beautiful sentiment and she smiled at the rudimentary drawing of her and Elijah. It looked like he’d tried to draw actual magic around them too, and she loved it, just as she loved all the stories from kids saying reading had become a safe place for them and one where anything was possible. There were no limits, no restrictions, and that was a freeing and amazing thing that she’d managed to impart on kids just like she’d hoped to when she started volunteering years ago.

Suddenly it dawned on Emma that there was still so much she could do in her own life. She was hardly helpless in her story despite the circumstances, and though the clock was ticking on finding an answer to being queen, Emma realized that all of this worrying was robbing her of her present and a more immediate future. Being queen was something she wanted, yes, but not for a long time. She had so much left in her life she wanted to do and see before taking on that kind of responsibility and that was years worth of living and adventure before all of this inheritance stuff would even come into play.

That thought sent Emma into motion, moving through the gardens and into the palace. She needed paper and a pen and she wanted to chart a course for everything she could do if all of this never panned out. Some might call it a plan-B but Emma wouldn’t. That would give the impression that somehow she was settling, but all of what she wanted could be had even if she never sat on the Genovian throne, and once she wrote it out Emma decided she’d let it be, living in the here and now instead of stressing about things coming years and years down the line.

“Emma, honey, is that you?” Emma turned when her mother called out to her and she saw the curious look on her mothers face. “What’s happened? You look like you got some good news.”

“In a way I kind of made my own. I was thinking and what is it exactly that Dad does as a king?” Mary Margaret considered before replying.

“He keeps an eye out on parliament to make sure that they’re governing in a way that protects the rights and liberties of the Genovian people. He works with other nations as a representative for Genovia, and he helps people whenever he possibly can.”

“Right exactly, and I can do almost all of that without being an actual queen. Pressure on Parliament comes from all sorts of places, not just Dad but those citizen action groups, journalists, and the people as a whole. I’ll still be in the same circles of people who have power even if I’m just a princess, and just like Dad and his Dad before him I can choose a cause that matters to me. I can have a legacy that matters even if I never wear that crown, but it doesn’t have to start now. I don’t have to rush anywhere, not when things are good the way they are.”

Her mother’s sniffling cut into Emma’s happy musings and she noticed that her mother had started crying. It probably wasn’t very nice of Emma to laugh, but she couldn’t help it. Mary Margaret was always a happy crier, but Emma assumed that this pregnancy was only going to make that trait more apparent. So instead of fighting it, Emma moved to give her mom a hug, hoping it would help ease those tears away.

“I am so proud of you Emma. You have never been normal.”

“Thanks Mom.” Emma rolled her eyes even as she smiled.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant you have always seen the world differently and you always follow your instinct to do good when so many other people wouldn’t think to. It’s a remarkable thing, Emma, not something people see every day, and you’re right, you’ll either be a wonderful queen or a princess who changes the world like no one has before. But you’ve got a whole lot of life to live in the meantime. Saving the world can wait. For now just enjoy being young. Break the rules, travel around, but do me a favor and try not to join a biker gang or something. I don’t think your father could handle it.”

“And you could?” Emma asked with a laugh. Her mother shrugged.

“If anyone could convince me of their merits it would be you.” Emma smiled.

“Well you know I could use some help on brainstorming. New dreams are kind of complex, lot’s of planning -,” Her mother took Emma’s hand and held on tight.

“Say no more. There’s nothing I would rather do today than dream with you, honey.”

And with that they headed upstairs to brainstorm what kind of paths Emma might choose to find her own sense of happy fulfillment, knowing that whenever and however she got there Emma would be just as happy with the journey as she was with the destination.

………….

Killian could name a million places he would rather be than the Parliamentary Archives. The place was old, musty, and lacked the same brightness of any library Killian had ever seen before but it mattered not. Even if he was in this dungeon-like basement collection, surrounded only by fearful lawyers and the caretaker (who happened to be as old as time itself), Killian was determined to stay and find something – anything – that might help Emma.

Adding to the general despair that clung to this place was the fact that after all this time Killian was still empty handed. With every passing day he felt like the answer was getting further and further away, and he swore if he read even one more legalese-filled binder he’d lose his mind, but that didn’t matter. He would stay here at his post until the final moment if that was what it took.

The only time he wasn’t here looking was when he was back at the palace with Emma. It was a delicate balance, feeling like he was giving all he could to finding a loophole and yet helping keep Emma’s worries at bay. He wanted to be there for her however he could, but then there was the problem of trust. He and David both couldn’t trust that the lawyers were competent enough to handle this.

In all honesty, Killian had little faith in anyone outside of this immediate circle and he was starting to lose faith in himself too. The only person he did believe in fully was Emma. He closed his eyes for a moment, his fingers seeking to ease the tension by his temples as he thought back to being with her the night before.

“Whatever happens, Killian, it’s never going to change that I love you. You know that right?” Her fingertips traced over his heart, gliding across his bare chest leaving trails of contentment in their wake. It was impossible for Killian not to think of how she owned him body and soul, how every part of him was in love with her and always would be. His heart was hers and he could think of no one more worthy than his Emma to entrust with it.

“Aye, love. I know.” She smiled despite the tension of the situation. Even now she found the strength to smile but it broke his heart a little bit to see her learning to live with less than what she’d originally dreamed of.

“But you’ll never stop fighting. Not until the last possible moment.”

“Never, Emma. Not when it’s about your happiness.” She moved up to him, her lips brushing against his and -

“Sir?”

Killian’s head popped up, shaking away the memory as he was confronted with the lawyer in charge. His name was Pilner or something of the like but Killian referred to him internally by a host of less dignified nicknames. It was hard not to find the man to be inherently lacking when the Viscount managed to undermine everything on his watch.

“Yes?”

“The book you requested.” Killian didn’t thank him despite the fact that common decency would demand such politeness. He merely grunted and dismissed the man by opening the aged binding. Pilner realized he was no longer needed and scurried away as Killian set down to work again.

At the beginning of this search for a loophole Killian was in many ways aimless. He didn’t have a thorough understanding of Genovian laws but he’d since learned that each monarch set a different legal tone. King David’s great-great grandfather was a total pushover, allowing parliament to set the agenda fully and make ridiculous subsequent requests in the footnotes of agreements, but not everyone lacked common sense.

Killian found that more than anyone it was the former King who had made the most strides in things that could help. David’s father had been a real servant of the people, hoping to equalize in a time when he didn’t need to but some of the laws during his time went missing after years of shoddy record keeping. It was taking longer than usual to locate some amendments from his years in power but Killian had this feeling like it was the right place to search.

He’d been waiting on this book in particular a few days now, and all it took was thirty minutes with it to find that his original hunch was correct. At first Killian doubted the words that he read. The past few weeks had taught him that getting his hopes up in these four walls was often a waste of time. Killian found himself rereading the page half a dozen times before he convinced himself it wasn’t a figment of his imagination. Then he sprung up, tracking towards the table of lawyers and startling them all by slamming the book on the page.

“Tell me what this means.” Pilner swallowed harshly and then read over it. Killian could see the shift from discomfort to actual interest in Pilner’s face as he broke down what it all meant.

“This says that any royal family member can submit before the people a referendum in the interest of the common people to secure their shot to self-determine the trajectory of the country.”

“And they can do this by bypassing parliament?”

“Well that’s where it gets tricky. The King was clearly knowledgeable of the old laws and this says that each family of old must still be consulted.”

“But does it stipulate who? The head? The parliamentary representative?”

“The language is vague. It’s open to interpretation and it could be battled in court -,”

“But is it viable? Could it work? Would it hold up on appeal?”

“Yes. Legally it supersedes any older laws. But three days to bring together a national vote? This says any referendum needs more than half of all Genovian citizens to be in favor. Not half of the people who show up, half of all legal -,” Killian wasn’t interested in listening to rest of Pilner’s yammering. He closed the book and jumped up from the desk heading out with it in hand.

“Hey! Those are to stay in the archives!” The caretaker called out, sounding affronted after doing nothing but sit on his ass for two weeks while the rest of them struggled.

“If you’ve got a problem, Horace, take it up with King David.” Killian heard some mumbling from the man but he ignored it as he made his way upstairs and outside.

It didn’t take too long to get back to the palace, but every second that past felt like a wasted moment when they could be putting this plan in place and granting themselves a real chance to help Emma. By the time he found King David and Queen Ruth in one of the palace sitting rooms, he was out of breath but eager to tell them his news.

“Killian? Are you all right, my dear?” Ruth’s words were worried as David immediately stood.

“Did you find something?” Killian nodded.

“You or Emma can file a referendum for a special vote. Technically Parliament can be bypassed if she wins a majority of the electorate. She’d only have three days from the time we file to the vote itself but-,”

“But it’s something! Fantastic, Killian, I knew you would find a way.” David slapped a shoulder on Killian’s shoulder before taking the book and seeing the labeled spine. “This was one of my father’s laws?”

Killian nodded and he noticed the thoughtful smile that came to both David and Ruth’s faces when he did.

“All these years later and he’s still watching out for us.”

Killian could hear the pride and the bit of heartache that came from mentioning her late husband. Queen Ruth didn’t speak of him in public very often, but Killian knew they had a real love between them and that she’d never considered remarrying all these years later. Killian could understand love like that. He personally knew what it meant to meet his soul mate and know beyond the shadow of a doubt that nothing would ever compare.

“There’s only one thing. To get the referendum cleared for the public Emma needs a representative from each old house. We can circumvent Mabrey, but the only other eligible person from his house is his nephew.”

“On a scale from one to his uncle, how vindictive is this boy?” Ruth asked Killian and he shrugged.

“Hard to say. He has his moments.” Killian heard a chuckle from the doorway and saw Liam there shaking his head.

“Killian has a problem with Nicholas more for the his attempt to dance with Emma at the ball than anything else. He might not be my favorite person, but there’s a decent man underneath that bluster. He’s been under his uncle’s thumb a long time but you could sway him with reason.”

“Like telling him about the baby?” David asked and Liam nodded.

“If there’s no room for him to marry royalty Nicholas wont pursue this, unlike his uncle who would see it through to the end merely from misplaced pride at this point. He’s been parading around everywhere to pressure Emma into this. He can’t turn back now.”

“So what are we waiting around here for? Let’s go and get this done.”

“And the new Queen?” Killian asked, but David shook his head.

“Mary Margaret needs her rest. She hasn’t been sleeping well since all of this happened and she’s finally trying to do so after her afternoon with Emma. Let’s bring them both home some good news.”

Killian respected the idea. In his mind this wasn’t keeping something from Emma, but seeing the truth of the matter through before imparting this much needed ray of hope. They all left directly then and on the way David and Ruth outlined how every other house would yield easily. It was Mabrey and Mabrey alone who was out there on the ledge and as soon as they had Nicholas’ authority every other necessary signer would fall into place. It all just hinged on him, much as Killian loathed to admit that.

“You’re not going to do anything crazy like hit him if he doesn’t comply are you?” David asked as they all stepped out of the car, having arrived at the estate.

Killian shook his head as Queen Ruth let out a laugh. Both Killian and David turned to see what had caused it but she waved them away with some mutterings about the ball and before Killian could clarify Nicholas was outside to greet them all. He paid all due deference to David and to Queen Ruth and spared a nod to Killian before declaring he was surprised to see them here.

“Are you? Even with the current state of things?” Nicholas had the good sense to look uncomfortable at King David’s words as they walked into a sitting room.

“If this is about my uncle I can send for him immediately. He’s away for the afternoon but -,”

“That won’t be necessary,” Killian countered and Nicholas almost flinched at the tone but he held his ground. When King David resumed speaking he was far kinder even if his words were firm.

“I won’t waste your time with niceties, Nicholas. We’re here because my daughter should be the next Queen of Genovia, and not through marrying an aristocrat, but based on her own merit and her claim by blood as my rightful heir. You and I both know that your uncle is playing a dangerous game and -,”

“Forgive me, Your Highness, but there is no reason to say anymore. If you’re asking me to assist the princess then I will. However possible.”

It took a substantial amount of effort for Killian to avoid the instinctive jaw drop that came at the proclamation. Could it really be that easy? There was no way it could be and yet the man seemed sincere. There was no clear deception in his manner or tone. Killian discretely caught King David’s eye across the room and the King seemed just as taken aback.

“You will?” Queen Ruth asked skeptically.

“Yes.” King David smiled.

“Well that’s great news, Nicholas. Thank you, we appreciate your willingness to help.”

“Why?” All eyes in the room turned to Killian but his stayed with Nicholas. “Why now? Why go against Mabrey this late in the game?”

“I was in the city today when I noticed someone who looked an awful lot like the princess coming out of the orphanage. I was intrigued and I went inside. No one there would tell me about it except for a small girl who insisted Princess Emma is there every week. She then told me, and this was a direct quote, that my uncle and every other person who didn’t love Princess Emma was ‘a dusty old fart who doesn’t care about this country at all.’ She was right, at least in part. This idea of my uncle’s is a selfish one meant only to help him and in his estimation, to help me as well.”

Killian finally began to believe that Nicholas could be telling the truth. It was easy to imagine that seeing the face of kindness made real in Emma would change a man’s heart. She had a magical ability to do that and the wonder of it all was that she didn’t have to compromise herself to make that change in people. It was a genuine, natural byproduct of the person she was in her heart.

“My daughter has wanted to keep those visits private.”

“Clearly or they’d be all over the news and there would be even more people on her side then currently stand there. It’s for that reason I know she’ll be a good Queen. Nothing would silence the opposition faster than a princess helping orphans but a secret it’s remained. She doesn’t play the politics, she just wants to do right by people who need it.”

“Will you keep the secret then?” Nicholas nodded at Killian’s question and Killian felt himself breathe easy.

“I think my family has inflicted enough pain on Princess Emma. I have no intention of continuing that. So as I said before, if I can help in any way I will.”

King David took this as his queue to outline to Nicholas what was needed and the royal notary needed for Nicholas to endorse the referendum was called. He signed away, enabling Emma her chance and in a mere matter of minutes they departed to gather the rest of the signatures needed.

They all agreed when the last name was procured that from this point they would have to move quickly. The last thing they wanted was Mabrey to find a way to stall and tonight they’d all tell Emma and give her this chance that she deserved to choose her own path. And whatever it was she wanted, whichever kind of life his Swan’s heart was set on, Killian would follow her into knowing that as long as he had Emma’s love he would have everything.

……………

“So you actually did it? You found a way?”

Emma could hardly process what she’d just heard. Rationally she understood there was a law passed by her grandfather years ago that gave her the ability to file for a public vote. That vote, if it went her way, would grant Emma a reprieve from the restrictions that had been tormenting her for weeks. She would have time to live a life before the duties of being queen came calling and the freedom to choose love over her family legacy. The thought was liberating and entirely welcome.

Yet the power of this moment came from a different place entirely. The fact that her father, her grandmother, the man she loved more than anything, and dozens of other people had worked so hard to give her this was unimaginable. That kind of devotion was really moving, and most of Emma’s relief came from the fact that all their hard work wasn’t for nothing. They did it and Emma was humbled by that in every way.

“We found a way, Emma.” Emma launched herself at her father for a hug, thanking him profusely for this but he shook his head.

“There’s no need to thank us, Emma. We wanted to do this.” Emma smiled and moved to her grandmother who was smiling widely.

“I know but it must have taken so much effort. You’ve all been working so hard I don’t know what to say except I love you.” Queen Ruth took Emma’s face in her hands and looked right at her, imploring her to do away with those worries.

“It’s nothing less then you deserve, my dear. I only wish it could have been easier for Killian’s sake. He spent an awful lot of time in that musty old cellar to find this.” Emma looked over to Killian and moved to take his hand as her father spoke.

“That’s a very good point. How would you feel about a knighthood, son? Lesser men have been awarded it in the past.”

Killian winced at the thought of such a title as Emma laughed, luxuriating in the feel of his fingers intertwining with hers. He’d been here these past few weeks but there had been a kind of distance since this was on both of their minds. Now Emma felt they’d turned a corner and they could go back to the way things were before, or into a direction that was even better.

“That particular honor would insinuate that Emma needed rescuing when she’s always had the means to do that herself.”

Emma blushed at the words and listened as her father agreed with Killian. He explained how Nicholas’ turning on the Viscount came about because of her trips to the orphanage, and after they all assured her that there wouldn’t be any leaks to the press that could put pressure and stress on the children, Emma felt a sense of satisfaction she didn’t have before. It turned out she wasn’t the damsel at all. She’d sealed her fate and made it possible for Killian’s plan to work. In a way they had done it together. They were partners and Emma couldn’t think of anyone she’d rather have on her team.

“Now, I think at the very least we have all earned ourselves a bit of reprieve. I for one am going to find some mindless diversion with no stakes at all to fill the hour before dinner. A queen needs more balance. Perhaps a trip is in order. I could use an ocean vista.”

Emma laughed at her grandmother’s words and hugged the older woman, telling her that she loved her again. It was decided by her parents too that some rest would be best and she said her goodbyes to them as well, but while her mother held her close she whispered a suggestion to Emma.

“You should show Killian your list, Emma. I think he might like to know a little more about what the future holds.”

Emma grinned and said that she would as her parents left. Emma debated running upstairs quickly and bringing her blueprints back to the garden house, but there wasn’t enough time before dinner to make it worth it. Instead Emma pulled Killian in the direction of her rooms here, hoping to share with him what she’d spent her day coming up with. Before that though she needed something different, something more.

The second that the doors closed behind them, Emma pulled Killian into a searing kiss, finding that he was just as eager for the connection. It was raw and unbridled but Emma could feel the swirl of relief and passion and victory. He might not want to admit that he was her white knight, but Emma thought of Killian as a protector, a defender of her heart and of her happiness. She couldn’t imagine what her life would be like if she’d never met him and when all of this was over the best part of her life would still be him and his choosing her despite everything.

“Much as I might like to explore that further right now, love, your mother said something about a list.” Emma’s jaw dropped.

“You heard that? It was barely a whisper.” Killian scratched behind his ear with one hand as the other held her close, not wanting to break the link between them.

“Call it a byproduct of all that time in the archives. Plus by the end the lawyers weren’t in any shape to talk to me. If they made sound at all I had to consider it a success.”

Emma laughed, knowing about Killian’s less than amicable relationship with them. She could just picture him demanding answers from them, fierce and determined and uninterested in failure. He wasn’t like that often, but there was a part of Killian that couldn’t stand for incompetence. At least not when it came to her. She was almost remiss at having missed it though. She could only imagine what him barking orders and exerting some authority would do to her already near constant desire for him.

“You really want to see it?” Emma asked, already knowing the answer.

“I want to know every part of you, Emma, if you’ll only let me in.”

There was no question as to whether she would and she pulled Killian forward to the other side of the room. Hung up on a bare portion of the wall was a huge sheet of white paper that she’d brainstormed on with her mother. At first they’d tried to organize it, but in the end it became this big huge web of wishes, a bucket list of sorts splashed across a page with no real rhyme or reason. The only thread linking everything was that Emma wanted to see or experience it and she was hoping Killian would be there with her when she did.

Killian stepped forward, his hand still holding hers and she tracked his eyes as they scanned over the dozens of ideas. He laughed at some and smiled at others. He seemed intrigued and it was clear to Emma that he found nothing lacking but he stayed quiet just a tad too long for her liking.

“So… what do you think?”

“I think it’s brilliant, Emma, and I’ll do anything I can to see you find your way to all of this.”

Emma couldn’t help the flutter of her heart at the affirmation. It was hardly out of the ordinary for Killian to insist on seeing her happy, but it still took her breath away all the same. He was impossibly good and she loved him for all that kindness and devotion. He made her stronger, building her up in the good times and the bad and it was testament to how right this thing between them was.

“And what if me getting what I want requires you to be there with me through all of it?” Killian grinned and it colored those blue eyes of his to an even more striking shade as his hands came to run across her body.

“I’d say I’m following you, Swan, to the ends of the earth if need be.”

Emma laughed and turned to show him some particular ideas. She wanted his opinions on places to see and experiences to try. She had some thoughts that she’d stumbled upon at different intervals in her life (like watching a sunset from the top of the Eiffel Tower, ordering a pizza on a promenade in Florence, or seeing the winter light festival right here in Genovia) but Killian knew more than she did in some regards, and he had some ideas she wanted to include. Emma wrote them down and then stood back up and smiled, liking that the list had things for both of them now. Still it was impossible to deny that there weren’t missing elements on this paper, ones that arguably would matter most of all.

“There’s more dreams than that, you know. Ones that were a little less appropriate to outline with my mother in the room.” Killian wrapped his arms around her from behind and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

“Are there now?” Emma hummed out a sound of agreement.

“Well there are all the other ones for you and me.” He held her slightly tighter at the insinuation, which made Emma laugh as she turned around to look at him. “I mean you did tell me that someday you were going to ask me a question about forever right? So if you do -,”

“When I do, Swan.” Emma smiled at his interruption and ran her hand across his cheek.

“Okay when you do, there will be all sorts of next steps. You’re a big proponent of having everything, I assume you’ve considered that.”

Killian’s eyes practically scorched through her. The intensity was dizzying but Emma never wanted to look away. He managed to pack all the love he felt in a simple look and it filled Emma with certainty that happily ever after was real and possible.

“Honestly I think of little else, Emma. All I could ever want is a life spent with you and all that that means.” She ran her hand down his chest and the flat planes of his abdomen undoing each button of his shirt with deft fingers. He wasn’t standing in her way, but his muscles were tight as if holding back from temptation himself.

“So you’ve thought about how someday it won’t just be me and you then?” Killian growled out a sound in response that shot straight to her core.

“Aye, love. But I think we’d both prefer to save that day for a while yet. Think of all the things we could do with just a little bit of privacy.”

Emma gulped at his whispered words and she felt him turning the tables on her. Though she absolutely agreed that such a conversation would come a ways down the line (and she’d mostly brought them up just to see a response like this), she couldn’t help the flare of wanting that came as he ran his hands across her body with her back against the wall. Thinking about a whole life together with Killian fueled something in her and suddenly all she could think was that they should spend a lot of time practicing for when the time was right.

“As always you’re bloody brilliant, Swan.” Emma’s brow furrowed because she didn’t think she’d said anything out loud, but then he grinned, pushing all thoughts out of her mind as a whole. “You’re an open book, love, and luckily we are very much on the same page.”

“Even if we only have an hour?” She asked as he led her into her bedroom and locked the door shut.

“Well you know I love a challenge.”

Oh yes she did, and Emma loved every second of his attentions and all the pleasure they brought forth. And when Killian promised yet again after everything that they really had forever, and that time would never stop how much he loved her, Emma knew that he was right and that is was exactly the same for her. True love never went away, no matter what the circumstance, and Emma knew it would always be her constant and the thing that kept her strongest forever more.

Post-Note: So now we have a way around the law but it’s up to Emma to determine her own fate. The next chapter will bring her plea to the people and the results of the election (I am sure many of you can imagine given my track record how that will end up). As I’ve said before, the next chapter will shift us into the last couple of installments for this story and will in many ways have us sailing into the happily ever after. I’m not sure how long it will take for the next update, but know that it is coming and so is the fluff. Anyway thanks so much for reading and I hope you all have a great start to your new year!

#captain swan #captain swan au #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #cs fic #cs ff #cs au #cs fluff #cs smuff #emma swan #killian jones #mary margaret blanchard #david nolan #queen ruth #liam jones #ouat au #when love reigns #when love reigns au #when love reigns 20

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