#because…

[jessieren]

Wait what’s a picture of the boiler suit of lust doing encroaching on Tux Tuesday.. ??

… Said no one ever

Always reposting the boiler suit of lust

You’re welcome

#shaun evans #itv endeavour #endeavour morse #tux tuesdays #but with the boiler suit of lust #because… #c’mon it’s the boiler suit #it needs to be on my feed regularly #the boiler suit of lust #ahh season 7 outfits were the best #hot damn evans

[motelofmermaids]

made a dating profile for attention… from men… i have reached a new level of low 😟

#kel’s talk show 📺 #because… #what is wrong with me #screaming into a pillow #girlblogger moment

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

there’s a part of me that has wanted to get an Icon ever since reading Brothers Karamazov the first time back in 2012

I won’t do it, not in the least because I am not Orthodox, and I think I respect my sibling faiths enough not to cop things from them with insufficient reason, but there is something about it

#I don’t complain about orthodox much but I have in the past vented considerable ire at catholicism #but #you know #at the end of the day #I feel like #it’s hard to explain #I am a Protestant #but I am not so Protestant that I have nothing but contempt for the others #I think Catholics for example are too weird about Mary #but I will not say anything against Mary herself #because… #because #(not on purpose at least—I have reservations about her perpetual virginity which is itself a slander I suppose) #I do not believe in icons #and yet #in some way #precisely because I do not believe #I will not acquire one #because it would be glorified art #but still art #and I feel that would be disrespectful

[teecupangel]

This is gonna be long, honey soooo… buckle up.

We have Desmond linked to the God of Wine, Dionysus / Bacchus with this fic (show some love and kudos this please, I adore this concept).

However, what if Desmond by chance ( Isu bullshit)  that he absorbed when he touched the Eye as he time travels back In the Renaissance before the Auditore family execution event, it manifested in him having demi-god traits but with two Gods I have in mind.

1. Aphrodite or Venus, goddess of love, beauty, pleasure and procreation. Accidentally becoming a matchmaker for people like Des incidentally shoved a man by mistake who the man then bumped into a woman, BOOM! the two madly fell in love at first sight and married with children or his charm increases, making people fall in love with Desmond. This adds angst if Desmond discovered this power,  He has low self-esteem and is severely traumatized (fuck you William for that). He would believe they really don’t love him especially the assassins and it’s just a illusion they do. Actually they do, the power only boosted his charisma but Desmond doesn’t know this shhhhh.

2. Eros or Cupid, god of carnal love. 16 year old Desmond with his newfound freedom after running away from the Farm. It’s no surprise he could be a sexually liberated man especially he’s a hot bartender to hook up in the back alley of Bad Weather. He might dabbled in BDSM, he’s a switch, but preferably doms. He also got a vasectomy to avoid impregnating a woman no Elijah in thishe believes that he shouldn’t have children, after having narcissistic father and possibly an emotionally neglectful mother can do that. An ability to sense lust or desires of a person in eagle vision could be possible.

With that being explained, regardless of which God, these abilities have pros & cons. Desmond when he is in the Renaissance, he’ll be low-key but he can’t stand out and without the currency to have a peaceful life, we needs a job. By some gift of the universe or it hates him. He ended up as a bodyguard of Rosa in Fiore by saving some courtesans from aggressive drunken men while in his clothes devolved in rags by the heat of the Eye when arrived, making him look like a beggar, good thing it was night time so his face wasn’t seen by the girls.

Its been weeks doing this job, Desmond have saved plenty coins but not enough to buy land far away and live his life maybe as a farmer or open a tavern. Lately, he been feeling unwell, no matter he drank to quench his thirst, his throat is dry as if he been in dessert with no water survive and started having hot flashes. It could just because of the clothes he donned, not a single silver lining of his skin is shown except the upper part of his face and hair but he was assumed it was if it were the fact he started having wet dreams, from memory of his many hook ups in New York or some constructed with people with no faces. He gets aroused, yes, but he has self-restraint but he also frustrated and losing his rationale.

“Dezmund~” Bianca, a courtesan who been attempting to lure him to bed. The other courtesans entertaining the patrons who had too much wine, too busy to notice the two, giving them a sense of privacy. “Bianca” he nodded with one brow raised at her. Bianca practically started to entice him with her usual flirting to him. You know what, fuck it, he thought, he proceeded to ———————

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Yeeeaaaahhhh…i won’t be too detailed so it won’t be overbearing. So giving you the mental picture is that Desmond used his knowledge of BDSM, blindfoled and tied Bianca and used her mouth to empty his frustration while he is still completely clothed. He gave her sweet aftercare and realizing his symptoms are gone and his mind is clear and —- oh fuccccckkkkkk he unintentionally created a chain reaction after this event involving himself more to the Brotherhood, the Auditore family and Leonardo

Anyway, thanks for reading this till the end, mwah <3

======================================

Additions by teecup:

… that sounds like Desmond has the curse of an Incubus, needing to ‘unload’ his pent up energy to another person.

And you know who would be fascinated by it?

Leonardo Da Vinci.

Perhaps it was during one of the times that Leonardo went to a brothel to find ‘inspiration’. Maybe it was because he had been nursing a crush on Desmond who was unattainable to his eyes, a simple bodyguard meant to keep everyone safe.

He would see the complicated expression on his face. The frustration in his eyes.

And the flushed cheeks.

Oh, Leonardo would be smitten but he’d try to act like a friend, as any attraction he might have pales in comparison to his worries concerning Desmond’s wellbeing.

Desmond sees him and finds himself being unable to lie to Leonardo.

He needed to tell someone about his problems and he trusted Leonardo.

So Leonardo listens and…

Things start to snowball from there.

At first, it was simply Leonardo trying to help Desmond while studying his ‘affliction’.

Then it became more for the thrill and pleasure they would receive from one another.

Desmond becomes Leonardo’s muse and sometimes his model…

Maria Auditore saw Leonardo’s potential and started commissioning him…

Federico comes in to get one of the finished commissions and… finds Leonardo and Desmond in a very compromising situation.

Instead of leaving… Federico decided to join in.

And Desmond knew that Federico was hiding something but it would be a while before he realized that during this time, two years before the fated day that the Auditores would be executed, Federico was already on his way to becoming a member of the Brotherhood…

…

Also… maybe Leonardo and Desmond have an open relationship which will give us more option for Desmond to ‘partner’ up with (like maybe… La Volpe??? XD)

#desmond needs to have sex #for his health #lol #it would be funny if #all the persons desmond has sex with #find their true love afterwards #only leonardo doesn’t #because… #it’s actually desmond #they don’t realize it though #ask and answer #leodes #mentions of #desmond miles x oc #desmond miles x original character #desmond miles x original female character #assassin's creed #desmond miles

[faecaptainofdreams]

Does Wander frequently have accidents? I’d been going through the headcanons you had with him and was curious about the drawing with him in black pants. Not judging or anything since you disabled comments on that piece, but was just curious is all :) /gen

Oh! I appreciate the respect and am okay with the question! Yeah DeviantART is just sort of a cesspool about comments 😅 hence why i disable with touchier topics because I’ve gotten burned a lot.

As for Wander, accidents are actually not frequent. As nervous as i am to share this, i will admit Ash and I HC that bodily functions like passing waste aren’t a constant need like real life, but can be induced by a multitude of things, like say, having too much to drink or eating something bad, illness, medication, etc.

Throughout the course of his life, Wander has had a couple of unfortunate mishaps due to, in one case, politely allowing dozens of people in a busy line go ahead of him even when he was at the end of his rope. He learned not to do that again.

In other instances, it was usually due to being drunk on the rare occasion he would do so, and if he put down enough liquor then he would, by morning, wake up “swimming” 😂 there’s probably been other instances as well, i mean stuff happens. He was always a little defeated about it, certainly embarrassed, but never so severely reactionary.

With him being heavily a Southerner in terms of his VA and the inspiration, we also HC he has a weakness for sweet tea and sometimes gets carried away with it. Usually he finds a bathroom, and Sylvia manages his intake when they’re out together because the boy has so little self preservation 😆 but ultimately, whatever happens, Wander is almost always fine. So you’re probably wondering, what about that comic? Well…

I recently published “The Arc of Doctor Screwball Jones,” which detailed the pinnacle of Wander’s trauma with him involving extreme torture that resulted in an accident in front of hundreds of laughing people. The accident alone might not have done him in so badly if the trauma from everything else hadn’t already heavily broken him. It was more like the nail in the coffin. Because of the tremendous stress he suffered at that time, his PTSD related to that event can flare up if he finds himself needing the restroom, but cannot find one. The idea of not making it makes his nervous system react, and like any PTSD episode, he can’t help but to relive fear and terror. By the time an accident ensues, he’s a complete wreck.

In the comic, Sylvia finds him and as you know, helps him wash and calm down, but she does this while not knowing why he reacts like this to such a phenomenon. She has always known though, that Wander is terribly modest (as even suggesting him performing a bodily function left him mortified in the show), and assumed that this was a result of his long and painful life full of terrible experiences. He later will tell her and his friends that Screwball is the reason why.

—-

Long response is long, I apologize! But it’s shockingly detailed, I’m just shy about sharing it ;///; what’s simple for others is squeamish and nerve wracking for me, but I’ve already sort of explained why. I hope this was helpful!

#wander over yonder #woy #aagghhh #if anyone wants to see the comic… #lmk #because… #I’m so fuckin shy #I actually posted it here once #and then deleted it instantly #but if enough people are curious…

[tinned-beef]

hey guys if i posted something on ao3 would you read it

#just out of curiosity #because… #i may or may not have something written #and it may or may not be some five angst #if this gets one (1) note i’ll seriously consider it #the umbrella academy #tua #my rambles

[childoftheriver]

Happy Hump Day

#greg lake #a few gratuitous pics of shirtless Greg #because… #duh #elp #emerson lake and palmer #emerson lake & palmer #emerson lake palmer #a greg a day (or two or more)

[aithusarosekiller]

Pete: sooo…this is James, my boyfriend :D

Petes mother: James! Hello!

James: hello, it’s lovely to finally meet you!

Petes parents: ……………….

James: …………

Pete: ………erm

Petes father: is that an English accent?

Pete: I can explain-

Petes mother: Peter Elijah Pettigrew, did you bring a Fucking English boy into our home?

Pete: 😳

#obviously not in the canon time #because then it would have been much worse #because… #yeah #anyway #prongstail #prongtail #Irish Peter #my beloved

[placetneplacet]

Maybe it’s because I haven’t had the best working environments and bosses from time to time, but the biggest hurdle for me with this show, is the idea that Jeng is a terrible boss..

I’m sorry folks, I just don’t see it. Maybe I’d he actually decides to have sex with his employee, but at this point the dude I don’t see it.

#step by step #like I get that that’s he’s brusque #but have these people just never had a bad boss before? #because…

[altairring]

that character bingo, in celebration of Hideyoshi's bday, HIDEYOSHI! IkeSen & SLBP? Or just IkeSen, whichever you prefer~

bonus: preferred IkePri boy-o

HEEEY KAEEEEE~

This will be LONG because I'm gonna post both the bingo and my explanations about them since I have So Many Thoughts atm.

Oh, hah, since we’re here can I request Nobuyuki (SLBP), Saizo, and Clavis from you? 👀✨

So here’s my bingo:

For my ikepri boyos and I cant choose one...sadly. So, I did three!

Here goes my ramblings:

Hideyoshi Toyotomi (SLBP) 🌻

He’s my first route in SLBP and I honestly don’t remember anything from it. All I know is that he used to be my best boi and if he has a route in story events I always do it (which is, unfortunately—very rare). I do know he will always have a place in my heart.

His design is so…plain. But I think everyone is in SLBP. Well, at least his armor is decent unlike whatever the fuck Inuchiyo wears skskdjwjcjs

Hideyoshi Toyotomi (IkeSen) 🌻

To be honest, all the “you’re my little sister” schtick in his route is…*punches him* but gosh once you guys are together and that trope has already passed then he’s perfect. Ugh, maybe I should’ve shaded the squeak the squeak square. The feeling of getting spoiled is foreign for me but I melt whenever he shows affection. I will squish him.

Also he’s very handsome. I love his outfit so much. The perfect blend of green and red. So beautiful. And sunflower as a part of his motif too? Call me the basic bitch idc I really like sunflowers lmaoo 🌻.

*inhales deeply*

Now, for my ikepri boyos…I have three favorites. I can’t choose between the three of them so I did all of them.

Rio Ortiz 🐶

Okay…I might be lying when I said I can’t choose between the three—because I will choose Rio in a heartbeat.

Maybe I just have a thing for characters that appears first in-game because I am that easy to get attached.

Realistically, I want him to be my partner in life. As a demiromantic, he fits my criteria lmao (no wonder I love the friends-to-lovers trope so much). Sure, he has flaws like him being pushy or overwhelming buuuut the thing is—I can tolerate it. Or rather I know he would stop once he knows my boundaries.

Anyway, he’s the love of my life. Exactly my type. I daydream about him so much. Head empty, only him. If he was real, I would marry him without hesitation. I want whatever kind of love he can offer to Emma/me.

He may be the love of my life but, goodness, the only thing that saved him from the typical blonde with blue eyes character is his ear cuff—which I desperately want to wear but my earlobes hurt. Seriously, how can he wear that every single day.

he is hot in his white shirt tho homleefuck

Clavis Lelouch 🐆

From his name to his appearance he is so fucking handsome.

Peak Gender Envy. Not gonna lie, I wasn't fond of him at first but my god he is so my fucking type. Clavis may be a red flag but I'm willing to Risk It. He's actually pretty nice right after you get with him, though.

I have two moods and it's me being soff or me wanting to slam to a wall so hard it cracks. He makes me pull my hair because he is that lovely bastard. Clavis has many layers and I volunteer to unveil them all. Once you get to know more about him (especially his angst) you will inevitably fall for him. I will say more about him but he literally makes me speechless. Clavis Lelouch is that amazing. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone dislike him especially after reading his route. However, like I said, he’s a red flag if placed in real life, so pretty privilege is applied to him (I love him so much tho LMAO).

Gilbert von Obsidian 🐯🖤

Eye as red as the flag that he represents. I have never once liked villains. Only morally grey characters. But for him I will flip my whole world for him.

Not much can be said from him other than the fact he caught me hook, line, and sinker. I am so invested with him no matter how manipulative he gets (he’s like an open-book Nobuyuki). Since he bullies Emma, I will bully him back :>. Equivalent exchange, methinks.

Regardless, I really like him and occupies my brain like 50% of the time since I got to know more about him lmao. I got so obsessed with him that I’m willing to drop money (responsibly) just to get content about Gilbert.

Lastly, ikepri en devs was so right to call him The Cruel Beauty. I really do find him beautiful and scary. I find it annoying that he knows he is pretty (joking).

Lastly, ikepri en devs was so right to call him The Cruel Beauty. I really do find him beautiful and scary. I find it annoying that he knows he is pretty (joking).

#feel free to ignore the ramblings my brain opens up like a dam whenever someone asks anything abt #…about my hyperfixations? #because… #SHIT DID I MAKE SENSE AT ALL #alt asks #KAEE TY FOR THE ASKKKK #i cant wait to see ur stance on nobuyuki 👀 #OHMYGOD IT'S SO HARD TO TUMBLR I HAD TO FORMAT BOTH IN BOTH PC AND IPAD LMAO

[midder-nachtvlinder]

Me watching the good omens finale:

Jesus Christ?!

#because… #because of… #you get it #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #it’s an emotion #but it’s also a fact

[dumdumsun]

If I’m being honest, guys, I’m gonna need some help understanding those last two episodes if I’m gonna write for season 3 😭

#because… #what the fuck was that #I have genuine good ideas #but they won’t work unless I got this shit understood #the umbrella academy #tua #tua3 spoilers #tua s3 spoilers #tua3 #tua fanfic #of starlight #and dusk

[teecupangel]

here im once again, tbh i feel the comic is startying to feel like te AC movie. Also interested on the "Who is the fhater?" thing going on. And yeah we have another one on the bingo "family problems"

My thoughts on Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5

Official English translation (the free chapters anyway) here

Kenway Daddy Issues plays a major part in this one, that's for sure.

My main takeaway is…

Ah. I’ve been unnecessarily torturing Desmond because I've desynced soooo many times due to fall damage… Sorry, Desmond.

But see, that’s my problem with this setup though.

This seems… too dramatic?

Because let’s remember that at this point, we already have the Animus that is being used by Abstergo Entertainment AND it's a mainly a headset. (Let's remember this is the Animus that they used to check Edward's memories back in Black Flag as well so it works with Edward's memories so this isn't a case of "oh those Animus can't watch memories like the big ones" because these headset Animi were the main Animus that Black Flag, Rogue, Unity and Syndicate used)

But Noa’s Animus as seen above looks more like Abstergo’s Animus from AC1 with its overhead transparent screen-like thing and the fact that it keeps the subject flat.

It's even look more similar to the one Desmond was forced to use than the Animus Layla stole in Origin:

(We're not comparing it to the Odyssey and Valhalla Animus because those have been modified by Layla and her team.)

So this mean, in terms of looks, Noa's Animus is most similar to an older Animus version.

This is weird because why is the Templars or Abstergo using a variation (and deadlier version) of an old model?

My theory is that they’re a rogue team and this entire thing has not been approved by Abstergo at all because there is one important plot point that they have yet to tackle:

“Why do they need Noa Kim’s genetic memories in the first place?”

The memory they’re looking for is from 1725

AND Noa’s DNA states specifically that he has Iroquois DNA

Then that means he came from the Edward-Haytham-Ratonhnhaké:ton line because that’s more believable than “Oh, Edward had a one-night stand/affair with someone before/while he’s married to Tessa AND just so happened to have an Iroquois ancestor LIKE Ratonhnhaké:ton”

This means that Haytham was probably born prematurely for this entire thing to work since we do know Edward was still in Macau on February 1725 and Haytham was born in December 1725.

Aaaannndd we’re back to the Desmond is Noa’s biological dad theory OR the William Miles is Noa’s biological dad theory BUT here’s the thing though.

If he is Ratonhnhaké:ton’s descendant then that means any and all genetic memory that Noa might have of Edward Kenway is in Desmond’s genetic memories EVEN IF they are not ‘closely’ related (I call bullshit if they’re not AND I don’t even like the theory that Desmond is Noa’s biological father, ELIJAH IS SEVERELY HORRIBLY NEGLECTED BY UBISOFT ALREADY!!!) because if Ratonhnhaké:ton is both Noa and Desmond’s ancestors, even if they had different ancestors after Ratonhnhaké:ton, their genetic memories of Edward stops at the same place: the conception of Haytham Kenway.

This means that there’s no need for Abstergo to take Noa because they still have Sample 17.

The same thing they used to watch Edward’s memories in Black Flag in the first place.

Abstergo would have a better time getting some poor intern(s) checking Edward Kenway’s later memories (Noob style) than

Kidnapping Noa Kim

Hiding him somewhere

Making sure no one would look for him

Forcing him into the Animus

And doing all this manipulation and threatening bullshit

In conclusion, I propose the following theory:

The people who kidnapped Noa are a rogue team affiliated with the Templars and/or Abstergo and are doing this on their own without the Inner Sanctum’s approval.

(Oh, and ‘Shimazu’ is acting like a bitch version of Sofia Rikkin and this does have AC Movie vibes to it and, I’m saying this as someone who rewatches the AC movie whenever I’m stressed to relax, that is not a comparison this webtoon would probably want to have right now)

#every time this webtoon tries to do something with the animus #i get a headache #because… #if you read my fics #you know how much i love to play around with the animus and the bleeding effect #but this whole desyncing thing hurting the subject #is too dramatic for me #assassin's creed #teecup analyze more than necessary #noa kim #edward kenway #teecup analyze and reacts to acft webtoon

[mayhemchicken-artblog]

in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through

#art #i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more #do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original #or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them #or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave #you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.

[theredtours]

why yes I AM making boop gifs from screen recording

#they're transparent and i'll post them when I am finished. #I won't even tag them because everyone should have them #boop #text

[faeriekit]

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

#the ethics are whack but more importantly you didn't even want to write it?? who is it even for?? not you? not me? #you didn't even have enough interest in the premise to take a crack at it?? then who cares? #please don't populate in my search results I'm looking for things that people wrote because they liked something #ao3