#before I make myself cry again

[fowlaroundtown]

He went out with a bang.

More detailed headcannons under the cut because I know this is confusing for literally everybody but me.

Sometime, late into the apocalypse, the base the resistance had been using gets completely over-run.

I’m talking half the Krang army over-run.

Retreat is called, and everybody’s evacuating and they really aren’t going to make it very long.

Even the people getting out are going to be run down and slaughtered if something doesn’t change quickly.

That’s when the great granddaddy of all ‘just in case’ scenarios comes in.

Through a series of slight overthinking spirals, Donnie has a plan for this and it’s about to be everybody else’s problem.

The entire base is rigged with explosives. The kill switch is in his lab.

Everybody’s evacuating. By the time he gets there, everybody (alive) on their side should be out, while a large portion of Krang monsters will still be inside.

He meets Casey Sr. halfway there (the only reason she’s evacuating is because she has Casey Jr. with her and she just can’t make herself put him at risk like that) and foots off some important items to her (mask, a few pieces of technology, etc.)

And then he tells her get the survivors together, and get them as far away as possible.

She really doesn’t want to listen to him (she knows what a goodbye looks like) but again. Casey Jr. And everybody’s going to die if she doesn’t get moving, so she does in the end.

Anyway that’s where the comic above starts.

Kill switch is activated, entire base blows up.

Donnie doesn’t make it out.

During ALL of this, Leo, Mikey, and April are on a scouting mission.

Everybody in the resistance has their own little distress signals, and all of them are flaring so these guys just KNOW something went really wrong.

They’re packing up to go home when… yeah.

With the central hub of all their devices being destroyed, all at once, every single distress call goes silent. Nobody can communicate either. It’s just radio silence.

As soon as the Tech Bō lands, Leo starts running.

The trip out took 3 days. They make it home in a day and a half.

They come back to a crater.

Luckily, about half of the resistance is still alive. And half of the Krang army is not.

So it’s technically a victory.

(Nobody feels like it’s a victory)

Anyway. After that, they never really have a full base again. It’s more of nomadic situation- they live where they can, when they can, and never for too long.

There’s some other stuff but this is getting long and I might make some more doodles.

But yeah those are my Donnie death headcannons

#not dead set on these future designs so they might change #everybody’s in their late 20s-early 30s here #I’m so sorry Dilf Leo simps I still can’t figure out how to draw him #this was originally going to be part of a series where I drew all of their death scenes but. #Raph’s made me cry to think about so I knew I couldn’t emotionally go through drawinf out how he died #just know he was at peace and surrounded by people he loved #he got to say goodbye. #anyway #before I make myself cry again #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #donnie rottmnt #future Donnie #future Leo #future Mikey #future April #my art #tw explosives #tw blood #tw death #tw major character death #tw bombs #I THINK that’s everything lemme know if I missed anything #oh yeah #bad future

[hwiyoungies]

welcome back kang younghyun 💕

#day6 #young k #youngk #ok so i thought about doing something more complicated but also i'm So burned out from this series LMAO #so i did my best for it to look some what cohesive and uuh man what's the word #smooth? yeah smooth #can't even say my proper feelings in the tags yet because i finished this 25 days before he's actually back LMAO #b.edits #missing yonk #day before but i need to add tags now because i don't trust myself tomorrow LMAO #but thank you SO much for accompanyingon this silly gif making journey #it was. honestly a bit exhausting and i'm never doing it again only 50 days or 30 LMAO #and thank you so so so so much to everyone that reblogged every single set #i was genuinely looking forward to your tags and reblogs and if you didn't i was worried like omg are they ok #but our boy is back!!! he's finally back and i can't wait to see what's in store for him #i just. appreciate him so so much and i'm just so grateful for him i know i've said this before #he just. means a lot to me and i'm so so happy he's finally back #yeah i'll stop or i'll cry for real LMAO

[tricoufamily]

once again thinking about how easy it would be for me to be in a relationship if i was cis

#cis woman cis man either way #dude in the neighborhood has a crush on me telling me i'm beautiful like 'thanks! i will go home and cry now' #i fucking hate being trans i wish i wasn't lol #and sometimes i feel like i can't talk about this anywhere bc in a lot of trans spaces it's like. taboo? to express anything but positivity #as if me being honest about how i feel about myself is somehow how i feel about every single trans person jesus christ but whatever whateve #like listen peace and love but i need you to do me a favor and promise me you will not come at me with any 'transness should be about joy' #i know you mean well i know you're right. but transness for me /is/ pain and sorrow. that's all it's ever caused me my entire life #you have to remember that i'm from rural appalachian tennessee with a transphobic family #some of the most deeply rooted self hating repression for years just for. more honest self hatred #i've never admitted this before but i've considered detransitioning and repressing because of transphobia many times #i'm not brave i'm not strong i'm not trying to make some grand statement or be the voice of a generation. i just want to Be. you know #i just got really really unlucky #but i can't repress. i know that would be even more miserable so i'm just. trapped. forever #who i want to be forever out of reach like tantalus or something i don't know #i want to be loved #or maybe i should just watch the batman again

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sorry im thinking abt death again #because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died #that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from #time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed #i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she #died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way #my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today #for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days #and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt #future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her #last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that #and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving. #sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless #others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club #i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her #stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i #dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my #family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters #probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno. #i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity. #again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a #full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length #unrelated

[a-loving-ghost]

Moving from that post but maybe he didn't go to school for a few days. Maybe he didn't dare to move, to wake up from the dream he so desperately wanted to stay in where everything was alright. Maybe the landlord showed up to kick them out only to find a dead body and her grieving monstrous son. Maybe he doesn't know where his mother was buried because they never had the money for a headstone. Maybe—

god when i get you /silly

#jokes aside i think this is exactly how it went #the house would’ve been entirely depleted of everything #andrew never gets to go to her grave because she doesnt. have one #he wouldn’t be allowed to stay in the house anyways #god im gonna make myself cry again……. #usually his mother is up before he is. usually she’s doing the household chores or just finishing her own prayers #he would go to wake her up i think before realizing her body is cold and ouh #god i don’t think he’d even begin to recover from that until after a few weeks

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

everytime i take a tiny triangle out of the cake i made my brother comes in and cuts off a trapezium, making the cut a single clean line. it would be vaguely funny but like i made the thing and like could he not eat it all without leaving some for me

#rant #i guess #it really fucking annoys me how i have to cut off my share in everything that comes in this house ever #like always stay on alert for your food and stash away your share or its gonna be gone by morning #i dont even know why its making me frustrated enough to cry #its just. nice good food has always been a treat and motivator for me and my brother has a habit of always grabbing my share too #it sounds so silly out of context but like. ive had a lifetime of going through a bad tiring day with nothing to look forward to but #a nap and something i like to eat. and always opening the fridge to an empty container #or worse the box is there but then i get in bed with a book and open the damn thing to find half a spoonful inside. #it would be annoying once or twice but its just. all the fucking time. #i hate this survivalistic shit #its not long before i move out thank god but still #he always did it when i was young and my mom hardly ever said anything #like now if i want i can get myself some treats but when i was younger i didnt have much choice. #i havent had the time to bake in two years and prep plus baking the layer cake took two days. i put so much work in it. #and he ate half of it by the time i came back from fucking peeing. i cant even say anything because he gets fucking angry and aggressive #at the drop of a hat so im. crying in my room about it. look my feelings are not as drownable and consuming now. i generally dont #let things like that affect me too much. but i feel so young again and like the entire world is so unfair. i don't know #writing my feelings out on a tumblr blog is so much better than journalling they should recommend this shit in therapy

[sanchoyo]

haven’t been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth we’ve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked up…we have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help it’s like an hour drive there, so that’s been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but he’s been sick for a week and having concerning symptoms…) if I’m not on a ton or slow to replying to messages it’s bc I’m working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi 😞

#it makes me a lil mad his meds were kinda pricy and they literally are making things worse. like sure he isn’t have seizures but he can #barely walk and keeps running into things and keeps having diarrhea so like. 🙃 and the meds are making him sooo hungry and thirsty #I’m seeing the vet AGAIN FRIDAY I know she’s so sick of me but man my little guy. if she can’t figure out a combo that doesn’t have such #bad side effects I’m literally going to scream and cry #he’s the most sensitive boy in the world and my mental health hangs on his and my cats well being. please. 😭 #sanchoyorambles #I’ve also called them like twice to find out if I should stop or what they want me to do and keep getting ‘oh they’ll call u back’ WHEN #GIRL MY PUBBY #if I don’t hear back before his next dose I’m just gonna make an executive decision myself to stop them for now #he’s literally on the smallest possible dose too bc he’s so little. so. they can’t go down in dosage they’ll need to put him on smth else 😑 #which means paying for ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION A WEEK AFTER ALREASY GETTING ONE THAT WAS $30 ON TOP OF HIS STUPID VET BILL #screaming. #and like if I have the money it’s fine. and it’s not like the vet could’ve known he’d have bad side effects #im just frustrated it’s no one’s fault #I could go to a closer vet. the thing is I LIKE the one further away #they have the only groomer I’ve found that can trim him without sedating him! they send me reminders abt his shots! I like the vibes!!! #they seem caring!! but they are always SOOO BUSY it takes forever to make appointments or to hear back from them 😭 #remember how I said one of my goals was to buy a vechicle this year lmao the vet bills are draining any savings I’ve managed to build up 🤧 #my pets are priority 1 tho like even before all the medical stuff /I/ need like lol… that’s my baby #it’s just really bad timing. not that there’s good timing for medical issues but. u know

[criscura]

I wish I wasn't so exhausted and I could make more art.... I even planned out a whole prompt-a-day month for Saigenos/Genosai, TWICE, but the first time no one seemed like they could participate when I asked about it, and the second time I friggin lost the damned plan. I could remake it a third time, but I just....I don't know.

I've been really struggling to get along for a while, and I think if it didn't hit it off--or even if I just got really productive and it seemed like I was reaching crickets--I'd be so incredibly discouraged that it would bring me down even further. It usually takes my stuff a few months to a year to get reach, and that really doesn't do anything for me when I need the support immediately.

It's not that I don't have a billion ideas for so many different things, but my battery has been taking longer and longer to charge up and it's been running out faster and faster, and it's been like this for....a year?? Ish?? Maybe longer, I don't know.

I wish I could just stop needing so much fucking time to bounce back.....

#written from my bed as I'm almost crying from exhaustion and hopelessness #I'm PMSing and I had a really tiring day so i know this feels worse than normal #but when you've been struggling to fall asleep for months because waking up means being disappointed in yourself #for everything you failed to do the day before and everything you know you're going to fail to do again today #it's really hard not to feel like shit about yourself #trying to be constantly hopeful but never living up to your expectations #and then the few times that you do you completely crash for days #and then the only way to not crash is to have your big accomplishment be 'i went to the gym' 'i took a shower' 'i answered a message' #and just. again #to have the be the way you're living for months and months and months #it's so embarrassing to admit how little i can do and it makes me so ashamed knowing how much I've done and see what everyone else around me #is constantly doing #and then when i do share things it just kind of dies off because I've been too exhausted to maintain most relationships #which ALSO makes me feel like absolute fucking shit because i think people think i just don't care about them #when it's really that it takes me hours to get out of bed and I'm lucky if i remember to eat before 4 #and I hate so much of myself and see it as such a huge waste of time that it uses up almost all the energy i have to take care of myself #but if i don't do it I'll just hate myself even more #i know i keep on complaining about this but I'm. I'm trying to fix it #i have BEEN trying to fix it actively for so fucking long #but it's.....i think I've stopped believing anything i do has significant worth and it makes it hard to keep trying #and i know people will read this and say take something for it but when you're only interactions with medications and drugs #are one experience that scarred you so bad you didn't go to the doctors for ten years and one experience so bad #that you couldn't even explain it at first without HARDCORE disassociating #it's hard to convince yourself that anything will ever be any better and that it won't make everything intensely worse for years

[mustangs-flames]

i tried making a little denim jacket made out of paper for my Mark Heathcliff plush to make him HTB!Mark i don't have the right colors things have backfired he's now sans Undertale

htb Mark would be the worst sans undertale ever, he can't even smile without going into a panic attack and keeling over /j

#hail true body au #mustang answers! #htb mark #he'd cry part way through telling a joke bc he got nervous and forgot the punchline #lmaoooo #(i actually still need to make one of the mark plushies into htb mark myself too haha) #(maybe once i've moved house? as a fun christmas project before work starts again in january)

[seventh-district]

.

#it is 5 hrs past my bedtime and i am awake listening to Two Hearts by Dermot Kennedy on loop and crying over Rotating Shifts. again. #i couldn’t resist the urge to read the latest chapter any longer but i knew when i did i’d get like this #so Why did i wait for my period to roll around. i have made. a silly decision lmaooo #i’ve complained abt it before but i’m conflicted about how much more sensitive it makes me #my nightmares usually don’t make me cry but oh i was a Wreck this morning #so why i picked tonight to read the fic that always makes me cry is beyond me #i have never met a fic before that had me in such an intense emotional grip #and it’s fucking hilarious bc it’s not that intense of a story!! like yeah there’s been devastating parts but i’m out here having to- #-take a break every single chapter bc i’ll read one line that hits my inner child like a truck and i have to take a minute to recover #but the whiplash this fic gives me is so fucking funny and the range in the storytelling from comedy to tragedy is just.. *scream-cries* #it has my favorite characterization of Sun and Moon that i have ever seen #this chapter wasn’t even that sad i’m just Making myself sad about it #but on another level it also makes me sad in the sense that i don’t think i’ll ever be able to write something that good.. #all that i want out of my writing endeavors is to make one (1) person feel as strongly and as much as RS makes me feel #and i don’t know if i can do that. i don’t know if my writing has what it takes bc i can’t even describe exactly what it is #i don’t think it’s a science that can be replicated. things either connect with someone or they don’t #the way Sun goes from worryingly innocent ‘wdym we can’t invite strangers to live with us?’ ‘wdym we can’t adopt an adult that needs help?’ #to fucking. tearing an animatronic in half in a fit of protective rage and blocking access to all dating apps to prevent you from- #-finding anyone else bc he’s your Special Friend and he can’t have his Daydream falling for anyone else!! no no!! #it’s not a new concept but i eat it tf up when Sun is actually the one you should fear the most #like no i don’t think he’d hurt Reader but i dread to think of the things he would do For them #the back and forth between childlike innocence and terrifying intelligence possessiveness and physical capability is just mmmmm 100/10 #and don’t even get me started on Moon. or i Will start crying again #he’s ​like yeah dumbass of course i’m gonna save you every time some POS man tries to **** you. of course i will you fucking crater-head #but i will complain at you about it the Entire way home and then i will steal your fucking toilet paper and pack you a raw egg for lunch #because i hate you 🖤 but Sun loves you and we would both kill for you 🖤 also i drank all of your chocolate milk 🖤 also i hate you :) #anyways i am paraphrasing obviously and dear god i hope no one who actually reads RS sees this bc i do not want my 2am ramblings taken as- #-any kind of Official Thoughtful Analysis of the story ok pls pls pls let me be insane abt my favorite fic without having to be articulate #i just have so many fucking FEELINGS about them. i am unwell. #i’m not even tagging this i’m just hitting post and going to sleep goodnight

[hella1975]

choked up in my room rn bc i was sat in the car with my mum completely lost in thought and she out of nowhere went 'are you okay?' and i was like 'yeah? why?' bc i was totally fine i was literally just thinking and she let it go and then five entire minutes later she goes 'are you sure? have i done something?' and she sounded so genuinely anxious and i could tell she'd been thinking about it the entire 5 minutes while id been completely oblivious and i spent so many years as a child letting everything bottle up until it all burst out in a messy and ugly breakdown that took her down with me and despite that she never hated me she only ever blamed herself for not seeing the signs and she's never been able to see my signs because i keep everything to myself and it terrifies her that she might miss something and she handles things poorly when she's scared and she gets too angry but fundamentally she's trying her absolute hardest to be a good mother and it wasn't always enough and i know i have to hold her at least partially accountable but also she's my mum and im her daughter and she always just wants to know if im okay and most of the time im not and somehow that feels like ive betrayed her

#like my mum is such a loud powerful force of a woman that these little moments of vulnerability where she's just HONEST with me #and she shows me that she's worried or scared or unsure instead of just constantly putting up a strong front #always always bowl me over #like ive literally said to her time and time again that i'd find it easier to communicate with her if she wasn't so strong all the time #like of course i hate crying and being emotional in front of you when youve made it v clear my whole life that you hate doing that #when it's you that's the one being emotional like that's not fair #but also being strong all the time is literally a survival thing she had no choice but to implement bc her own life was so hard #so how can i just ask her to lower those walls for me? even if keeping them up is to both our detriment? #and like ive talked on here before how she's openly admitted to me that she finds my temper harder to handle than my sister's #even tho mine is quieter and significantly less messy. but she's also said to me that in general she finds my sister easier to deal with #bc my sister's so open and if she's angry she yells if she's sad she cries if she's happy she talks ur ear off etc etc #i just insist on handling everything myself and the worse i feel the more i deal on my own and it TERRIFIES my mum #BECAUSE it's led to mistakes in the past but also just bc i have never ever doubted that she has so much love for me in her heart #like even when our relationship was at its worst it was never ever a lack of love and she just does genuinely care and worry about me #it's just if she's scared she just gets ANGRY and her angry means her hurting my feelings and my feelings being hurt means i shut down MORE #and it's literally the worst combo but we love each other so much that we're both clawing through it anyway it makes me want to cry #and because she's always so strong i FORGET that there's just a scared vulnerable person behind those walls #that has no idea what she's doing bc her own mum never taught her anything good #and my mum blames herself so completely for every bad thing like she says things like 'i feel like ive failed' and idk how to tell her #that she IS messy and incredibly flawed and she HAS done things that have hurt me beyond comprehension #and there are bad parts of my personality that exist because of her and her alone #but ive also done terrible things to her too like not even considering the fact our responses arent compatible and that hurts her #i also did some DUMB shit when i first started tackling ye olde mental illness that had a HUGELY negative impact on everyone around me #but she is still my favourite person in the world and my best friend and i love her and i know she loves me and i just want to hold her #girls when their mum isnt an all powerful being but instead a flawed human trying their best: SKJDGHKDJSHGJKSDHGJKSH #hella goes home

[evansbby]

wow okay, i just…

#I just completed writing the most emotionally harrowing scene of poyt that I have ever written ever #I kept putting off writing it bc I wanted it to be perfect #and I’ve finally done it #and idk if I’ve ever done this before but I cried THREE TIMES as I was writing it #idk how you guys will react to this #but it really made me cry #which is weird bc it’s my own writing #then again my depressing daydreams make me cry #anyways #I’m kinda proud of myself that I was able to finish it #there’s still a few difficult scenes left to write #but this one was like… the MAIN sad scene #ughhhh this chapter has so many ups and down I hope the sad and happy scenes balance out!!! #my thoughts 💭

[tamagotchikgs]

i try my best not to think of it and i havent in years but the fact the only people who were ever supposed to be my friends irl would always dump their love on me and then to leave me & say they dont like me over and over and over again only so they could watch my reaction n make fun of me together maybe did affect me huh

#i am normal i am not affected ii do not see ◡_◡ #[distant sounds of me crying & screaming && gasping for air &&& ripping myself to shreds like a bear] #i was always an autistic lil freak who didnt speak so i guess i shouldnt be surprised #but like. i always just wanted them to like me #i always just wanted the chance to like them back and let be allowed. always just wanted someone to be pals with. someone i could trust to #have my back for once vs everything else #i remember such a specific moment right #and we were going on a roadtrip w her and one i already had #and they ended up talking before we left #the worst part is i had to keep seeing them. i had to just keep reliving the humiliation over n over again n it got so deep in me #& the og one had a plan that we would sit together in the back n n we had like. tons of stuff brought we could do n snacks n all this #n then at the very last second literally as i had just sat down she was like . actually. i dont want you back here. i want her she's way be #better #and i remember so specifically she was like. LOL look at ur face.......... #and so i had to sit up front alone w nothing to do the entire ride but listen to them make fun of me for it #i feel like it would be better if they had left it at that but then they always came back n treated me so sweetly so i was like . ok i have #a chance #maybe they do like me #like the same girl went on to share cookies she had bought w me and we sat on the lawn for hours hanging out n eating them #and then she did it again #and again #but i was so alone in the world otherwise that i stayed #for years n years #my therapist always talks about how because of how long ive had anxiety means itll take either equally as long or longer to recover #and all i can think ab is how i lived with everything horrible at home #always just wanting to escape #to living through bad things outside of it too #just piling on top #from 6-16 #and i kept going back

[b4bychist]

i hate being mad bc i don’t feel just mad, i feel bloodthirsty RAGE

#get me to the nearest rage room before i ‘remodel’ my house #BPD shows her ugly face again #sigh #it drains me feeling this way. but i do it so well #liiiiiike don’t argue w me cos i’ll make you cry #your mother cry #and your uncle’s cousin’s nephew #it takes so much for me to get to this point and every time i find myself here i am #so disappointed in myself #bc all that hard work!!!! we are better than this!!!

[alex-just-vibing]

grah my head feels like it might explode

#this essay prompt makes 0 fucking sense #love this teacher. fucking hate how she teaches tho #we're supposed to have a rough draft by the end of class tomorrow #okay not too horrible #IF MOT FOR THE FACT SHE KEEOS CHAINGING THE ALREADY FUCKIBG CONFUSING ASS PROMPT #i can write essays about whatever stupid fucking novel you need me to #but myself?? #a significant memory i have??? that i learned a stupid fucking lesson from????? #i have like 0 significant memories from before the age of like. 10. and still not all that many after thay <3 #should i talk ab how my dad fucking died? would you like that you asshole????????? #what fucking lesson would I have learned from that? dont become a fucjibg alvoholic? #shit i feel like im gonna fucking cry again i cant do this shit #i have the general vibe for each paragraph listed out ill work on it more in homeroom tomorrow #we wont even have the full fucking class for this tomorrow cuz she's a fucking asshole who gives us like five fucking seconds in class per #assignment #fucking hell dude #especially since half the class said they hadnt even started writing by like halfway through our (shortened!) class yesterday #im gonna fucking explode #my stuff #alex is not vibing. #also pjysicially too my dumbass forgot to eat dinner cuz hehe haha omg i can sing and suddenly uts 10 and i havent showered yet and my mom #will be getting home soon so i need to shower then rush my gay ass to bed #which i am in currently. #so im also feeling the forgor to eat feeling too <3

[startsbeatboxing]

having ashe thoughts but I can't find my phone to post them on instagram so you get them instead

she's just a kid! like it still explodes my mind a little bit that she was 16 during s1, like hey that's a child and like obviously it's there a little bit with the rest of the pd but with ashe it's just so much different for some reason and like

he liked video games and loud music and as far as we know no one is going to even notice that he's gone, since he really only knew mark and the pd and they both know so much about what happened but aside from them and like the whole reason they were on the roadtrip for s2 was for ashe and like, yes, we have gotten a little sidetracked, but they only knew him for like two weeks but he was cared for! ashe was loved! and now he's sixteen, probably seventeen now, not in control of his own body because he loved his friends back and I just!

AND MARK i need to talk about mark he just wanted to protect her and through that protection it led to her end and i think not enough people talk about that part, how because mark kept ashe home and didn't let her have other friends she of course got attached to the first kids her age she'd seen in almost a decade, attached to their heroism as well because if she'd just been a little braver or better maybe her mom would still be around, and mark is trying to protect her but he's out of the house all the time and well, sometimes when he looks at her all he can see is his wife dying, and she knows that so she goes against him and goes to fight with her friends, and what does he know anyway, he was never there for her. and maybe if mark had let her use the book more, she would have been able to control the trickster but there's no use for that now because ashe is gone and mark can't do anything about it because after everything, he's placed back in prison

and "where are you going?" well, we don't know who said that! was it the trickster just fucking with the pd, was it ashe breaking the possession for a second? WE DON'T KNOW, and can ashe see what the trickster is doing with his body, seeing the harm it's causing, do you think it reminds him of what happened to his mother?

what did you think he wanted to do when he grew up? do you think, if he's ever free, that mark will go back to his over-protectiveness or finally let ashe be his own person? was his favorite color always purple? will ashe ever be able to look at his friends or interact with the world without remembering everything the trickster did? do you think he will be able to look at everything the pd did to get him back, everything mark did to try to protect him, no matter how counteractive, and understand that he is loved?

does ashe winters understand how much she means to the world?

#spoilers galore under the cut btw #ok i need to go to sleep now before I make myself cry again holy fuck it is too late #jrwi prime defenders #sorry ashe thoughts you know how it is #ashe on the brain tonight boys #<-- i have used both of those tags before thats so funny i need to shut up about her at some point #ashe winters #zia.og #zia.txt #bye bye i am sleepy and this took everything out of me