#brevity is not the soul of wit in this case

[hungiehipo]

Macdennis timeline

Macdennis

The 16 season long situationship filled to the brim with sociopathic tendencies, mutual abuse, and disorganized attachment between a man burdened by Catholic guilt who doesn't want love unless it hurts and a deeply dissociated man who can't be authentic unless he's immersed in a facade. And they were roommates.

What can be said that hasn't been said before? Probably nothing... still here's this.

S1-S4 PRE-MACDENNIS

This is before Mac and Dennis find themselves unwittingly thrust into a relationship neither is aware of. There is a homoerotic undertone, albeit usually as more of a joke than anything else. Neither has realized that their feelings for the other goes beyond friendship.

(Season 1 ep 1) Famous tequila scene.

(season 3 ep 4) Mac says I love you to Dennis.

(season 3 ep 15) gang dances their asses off macs dance pantomiming blowing Dennis.

(season 4 ep 1) Man hunters. Dennis puts his balls in Mac's mouth when he's sleeping, and mac shaves his pubes and glues them to Dennis' face.

(season 4 ep 4) Charlie asks Dennis if he still gets the feeling Mac wants to bang them, and that's why Mac makes project badass, Dennis agrees.

(season 4 ep 13) Nightman cometh. Mac gets a boner when Dennis' character pantomimes sex with him in the play. Dennis rips macs heart out (this comes back later)

S5-S7 MACDENNIS INTENTIONAL

Season 5 Macdennis hits like a truck. Dennis has feelings and they are BIG. We the audience witness a masterful display of homoerotic desire wrapped in a stunning amount of cognitive dissonance until "breakup" where Dennis is forced to confront the reality of his feelings. Following this crucial turning point, we are treated to a series of back and forth assertions of no-homo, feelings getting hurt, and lashing out. In order, we get Dennis introducing the dennis system, mac fighting gay marriage, Dennis getting married and kicking Mac out of the apartment, and finally Dennis getting a divorce.

Things are notably different between them post-divorce, marked by a mutual retreat from both Mac and Dennis. There's a shared reluctance to appear overly invested in each other romantically. This dynamic persists into Season 7, where Mac and Dennis noticeably maintain a considerable distance compared to previous seasons. In my honest opinion, this season exhibits the least Macdennis of any. Dennis being unhappy with Mac's weight gain likely contributes to this.

(Season 5 episode 1) Dennis suggests that they pretend to be gay married realtors. Some will say that being gay married was not essential to the scheme. Some would even say that to sell the being married thing Dennis did NOT have to be that touchy touchy. Source of baby boy nickname that has penetrated every corner of AO3 macden fanfiction.

(season 5 episode 8) PADDY'S THONG DUDE!!! PADDY'S THONG! I'm not wearing these because I'm comfortable I'm wearing them cause i wanna turn YOU on, you know what I'm saying??? you get it???

Mac jerks off a shotgun and blows its load in a kneeling dennis' gaping mouth.

(season 5 episode 9) They break up. In the podcast they say that this is a romcom. Dee points out that they act like an old married couple. Realization dawns on dennis's face and he proceeds to freak the hell out. Why? I mean... he knew it was true. We learn that they have a weekly movie night. Mac is jealous of video store clerk guy. We learn that they check in. Deleted scene at the end has Dennis blurting out that Mac has "beautiful lips" and again looking horrified.

(season 5 ep 10) Immediately after break up Dennis introduces his fool proof system for attracting WOMeN with big BIG BOOB for SEX.

(season 6 ep 1) Mac goes on a rampage against gay marriage after just last season being fake gay married to dennis. Dennis immediately gets married and kicks Mac out of the apartment. (Dennis also says he doesn't "have feelings", which Mac internalizes and it comes back in season 12)

(season 6 ep 2) dennis immediately divorces said woman and lets his boy toy (his words) come home.

radio silence all of season 7 except....

(season 7 ep 1) They go to the doctor, mac tries to carry dennis out bridal style. Dennis eats a chimichanga with Mac (romantic).

(season 7 ep 6) cold open, Dennis is holding Macs forearm while they watch the TV.

-season 7 we also learn that Mac slept with Dennis' prom date and it was very easy.

S8-S9 The kiss, the date, and the platonic naked wrestling shower scene

I believe this is the point where Mac starts to get the feeling something is off. (Again, Dennis realized in season 5). Mac has far more dissonance about it though, he like just wants to be best bros with Dennis for life, cause Dennis is like soooo cool. He is definitely not in love with Dennis he just loves Dennis like, as a blood brother. HE IS NOT GAY BECAUSE THAT IS A SIN. HE SERIOUSLY LOVES GOD A LOT.

In Season 8's Dines out Dennis delivers a speech wherein he admits that he thinks of Mac as a man who knows exactly who he is. Season 9's Mac day shows the total elimination of this belief after a full day filled with Macs self hating homophobia contrasting with his out and proud cousin "country mac".

(Season 8 ep 2) Whelp, God only knows how we ended up here after a drought like season 7, but 8 kicks off with a bang with an out of nowhere kissing attempt from Mac… right in front of Charlie too. By the look on Dennis' face I'm going to guess this has never happened before. I genuinely wonder what compelled him to do this…. like….is he just always thinking about it and forgot hes not supposed to do it for real? was it instinct?

(Season 8 ep 6) Dennis deals with emotional numbness, and nothing he tries makes him feel anything until the end of the episode where he feels too much after seeing his dead mother. This is not overtly macdennis but I think it demonstrates how he struggles with emotion and why Mac believes that Dennis does not have feelings.

(season 8 episode 9) Mac and Dennis are going on a fancy dinner date every single month. Monthly dinner and weekly movie nights.... anyway. Mac is upset that Dennis won't say something nice to him so Dennis does a speech to the whole restaurant. Yes he did kinda do it to dunk on frank and charlie. Yes he loved the attention. I think he meant what he said.

(season 8 episode 10) Dennis gets turned on by Mac totally intellectually dominating him while giving his anti science presentation. Also in the car at the end Mac was flirting.

(season 9 episode 3) Mac day. Praise God. Dennis is drowning in a sea of Macs delusion. Mac believes himself to be totally badass and not at all gay while repeatedly demonstrating the opposite. Country Mac shows Dennis what Mac could be if he was all the things he said he was and just embraced that he was gay. Dennis resents Mac.

(season 9 episode 6) saves the day. Macs fantasy involves Dennis wailing over his corpse, proclaiming his love. Dennis' fantasy is interesting, revealing his fear that Mac would abandon him the moment his sexual appeal fades. He envisions the possibility of being loved for more than his sexual abilities, yet his declaration of love precludes Jackie being hit by a car, leading to the loss of her breasts, and Dennis choosing to leave her. Lot to unpack here.

(season 9 episode 8) Mac and Dennis are trying to catch a rat. Mac tries to bash the rat, but Dennis says that its not about brute force, its about seduction. He turns on some romantic music and they both sway back and forth, looking into each others eyes, Mac takes a step forward, but Dee enters the room and the second dennis sees her he spins around and walks away.

I also feel the need to point out that Mac and Dennis went to high school together, and Macs nickname in high school was....well... Ronnie the rat.

(season 9 episode 9) Mac writes into the script of lethal weapon a scene where he and Dennis, I kid you not, wrestle naked in a shower. If you can call it wrestling... though it's more accurately described as an opportunity for an intense, naked embrace.

(season 9 episode 10) Cute food fight scene. Their apartment burns down.

s10-11 Out of their natural environment

Following the incineration of their shared home, macdennis moves in with Dee and all three of them hate it so so much.

(season 10 episode 1) Dennis looks at Mac like he wants to eat him (4 min 24 seconds) Mac says wait Dennis don't go and Dennis turns like he's expecting.... I don't know.

(season 10 episode 5) Mac and Dennis take turns watching and jacking off to creampie videos. Some will say they could just find their own porn, however I think this is one of the numerous creative ways they've found to have a sex life with each other.

(season 10 ep 3) Dennis is diagnosed with BPD.

(season 10 ep 6) The gang embarks on a journey of independence, only to discover that their lives are intricately woven together. For better or worse they will never escape each other, and will likely live this way until they die.

(season 10 episode 10) Dennis creates an entire fake cult to get Mac to do things he wants him to do. Says Macs been looking so good so sexy lately *manipulative*

(season 11 episode 4) Mac turns off the video Dee made about Dennis being raped by the librarian.

(season 11 episode 5) Macdennis play house. Mac asks Dennis if he can hear the beep too, Dennis gaslights him and says no, meanwhile getting increasingly agitated by the pool filter. It's already been explained more better by others but basically this is a metaphor for Mac wanting Dennis to acknowledge what has been happening between them, while Dennis adamantly avoids doing so. Instead, he channels his frustrations into unrelated problems.

Dennis hates going to work alone all day and Mac hates staying home, which could easily be fixed by having Mac come to work with him. Instead, Dennis' solution is a "honey-do list" (a list of chores a man would give his wife) and a dog, which Mac names DENNIS JR. (parallel to Dennis' real kid who is named Brian Jr. ) This kind of relationship paralleling is a recurring theme; for example in gets romantic, double life, and celebrity booze).

In the beginning of the episode Dennis wants to listen to Bryan Adams in the car. At the end of the episode Mac confronts him by saying "everything I do I do it for you, and everything you do you do it for yourself". (referencing the title of a very romantic Bryan Adams song)

dennis says he hates him

(season 11 ep 6) Mac asks Frank if he thinks Dennis hates him, because he just wants him to think he's cool and he puts so much work into this relationship and *unintelligible* (seriously if anyone know what Mac is saying when Frank spaces out please message me)

(season 11 ep 8) Dennis also knows about the gay bar

(Season 11 ep 10) 🎵 Amazing Grace how sweet the sauce 🎵

Mac comes out. When they play fake dinner Mac talks about him and Dennis' future home where they will have dinner parties and touches Dennis' hand. Confused, Dennis questions the idea of it being "their" home, seemingly operating under the misconception that he and Mac might eventually part ways and not continue living together.

Mac prays to god that they be saved and after being rescued he goes back into the closet.

s12 Mac claims to be gay and Dennis leaves the state of Pennsylvania

Season 12 is my favorite season!

Mac comes out, has a gay dream, gives Dennis a present, tries to insert himself as 2nd father of Dennis' child, and is swiftly abandoned.

Things start to get a little too real for Dennis, and hes just a little too vulnerable. Perfectly it turns out he has an opportunity to live the typical nuclear family lifestyle he's envisioned for himself and escape all his troubles.

(season 12 episode 6) Gay Mac rules! rich gay Mac!

The watershed moment wherein Mac comes out as gay for real this time. Dennis is beyond shocked.

(season 12 episode 7) Mac fully grasps that his feelings for Dennis are romantic after having a dream where Dennis kisses him. Upon waking he goes to find Dennis. Again Dennis dances towards him and leans in, Macs eyes light up thinking that his dream is coming true but Dennis slams the door in his face.

(season 12 ep 8) Dennis wants to completely ignore Valentines day because he doesn't think he has anybody who really cares about/loves him. Everyone in the gang openly states that they don't think he has feelings.

At the end of the ep. Mac has Dennis open a crate, which turns out to be an RPG (something that Dennis thinks is awesome and talks about all the time), and he tears up, he's incredibly touched. When Mac says there is no rocket (rendering the gift effectively useless) Dennis says he doesn't care, he loves it. Mac figured out the one thing he wanted more than anything else in the world and got it for him. This is likely not referring to the RPG but instead to the fact that he wanted someone to show him that they love him/care about him.

(season 12 ep 10) Dennis is revealed to have a son with Mandy, a woman who he had sex with on his layover from the wade boggs episode. To get him out of this jam Mac suggests they pretend to be in a relationship. Dennis, reluctantly going along with the plan, tells Mandy he sleeps with women but he is emotionally invested with Mac. When she is fine with it and says she wouldn't mind Brian Jr. having two dads, Mac enthusiastically agrees to parent Dennis' kid with him. When Dennis asks Mac why he would agree to that, since they are not a couple, Mac replies that he thought they could just keep pretending.

Mac wins a bet and gets to refurnish the apartment. He surprises Dennis by recreating their old apartment down to the last detail, save his own bedroom, which he leaves empty. He only buys Dennis a bed because he is hoping Dennis will go along with continuing to share a bed like they did at Dee's.

At the end of the episode Dennis announces he is leaving to go raise his son in North Dakota with Mandy. Nobody tries to stop him.

S13-14 DENNIS IS COMING BACK HOT

Dennis' 2 most angry/upset seasons.

In the season 13 promos Dennis is like a ghost, watching the gang laughing and talking without him. At some points they seem to notice that he's there, but just don't care. He is the only one spooked by the weird things happening around the bar.

In season 13 Dennis' returns and feels as though he is not important or needed by his friends. Mac has a journey of self-discovery, coming to terms with his sexuality and finding his identity as a gay man. Mac relies on Dennis to tell him what to do, desperate to please him, but Dennis wants Mac to take control and take care of him. Dennis only wants the illusion of control.

(Season 13 episode 1) Mac orders a sex doll of Dennis and swears he isn't blowing his loads into it. Dennis comes back.

(Season 13 episode 2) Mac finds a heart shaped lock clue whilst doing an escape room. Dennis says they should keep it between themselves.

(season 13 episode 4) Dennis holds a seminar where he publicly declares his own heterosexuality and lack of interest in Mac.

just gonna leave these quotes-

dennis- "some of you just haven't been careful enough, so youre asking yourself what can I do to save myself now. You gotta clean up your act otherwise you're going down, and you're gonna take me down with you and I ain't going down. You understand? I've been telling you this for years but you refused to listen"

----

mac- "and we should probably stop harassing them"

dennis, replying to Mac- " uh well you know, one step at a time we don't want the whole system to collapse" (but Macs only crime was being too open with his feelings for Dennis)

(season 13 ep 5) Dennis opens the floor for questions about his absence. He totally gets that everyone was giving him some space and respecting his privacy, and he's ready to talk about it now but...they just don't actually care....at all... (including Mac)

(season 13 episode 7) Its my personal interpretation that all of clip show happens in Dennis' mind in an episode of dissociation. He imagines that Mac decided to come with him to north Carolina. He imagines being confronted about why he would want to live with Mac if he "hates" him so much.

(season 13 episode 10) Mac comes out to his father in a beautiful interpretive dance and is rejected.

(season 14 episode 1) Mac tries to get into Dennis' good graces again by staging a scheme to get Dennis laid just like old times. Interestingly, Dennis isn't all that interested in banging. When its not working out with the woman, Dennis decides that it's because the leads are actually Mac and the husband. They can't seem to figure out that the leads are really each other.

Mac and Dennis are paralleled by the married couple while Charlie and Frank are mirrored by the father son duo..

"If you'd just give us a chance, we could tell a love story for the ages, a gay GAY ass love story". WE ARE READY AND SO WILLING

(season 14 episode 5) "Bathrooms at zoos are, like, big Grindr spots for closeted dads." (also refer to Macs super long pining text messages)

(season 14 ep 6) "all that for a whistle, I wonder what you'd do for a biscuit" I really don't understand how but apparently this episode really did happen and it wasn't in someones dream or anything like that??

(season 14 episode 10) Dennis says to Mac it's time to end the game. This could be interpreted as being about their 14 season song and dance, and would be backed up by the fact that the next season shows Mac completely backing off.

s15-s16 Acceptance and regret

mac tries to move on, Dennis misses his baby boy

(season 15 episode 1) We get some cute broke back mountain Macdennis. They play guitar and sing a love song they wrote together, looking into each other's eyes.

(season 15 ep 4) There's a subtle moment that's easy to miss. Dennis pats Mac's hand when they are talking to Charlie and Mac looks down at it, taking a deep breath.

(season 15 ep 5) Dennis has COVID and Mac isn't concerned, in fact he is irritated that Dennis wont admit he's sick. This is a big change from the last couple of seasons where Mac is desperate to take care of Dennis.

(season 16 episode 1) Mac and Dennis throw away all of their furniture including their beds. They now share an inflatable bed/couch and sleep together in it (just a couple seasons ago Dennis was absolutely refusing to sleep in the same bed as Mac). They are touching so much in the bed. Dennis is concerned for Mac because he has been continuously consuming nuts that he is allergic to (there's a metaphor here) and is heavily wheezing. Dennis gently places two fingers on Macs neck to check his pulse.

If Dennis did not want to sleep in the bed with Mac he would have gone and bought another inflatable bed. He would have made Mac sleep on the ground. He would have gone to sleep at Dees house. He wanted to be in that bed with Mac.

(season 16 episode 4) Dennis creates a fake dating profile under the alias of "Johnny". He buys Mac extra large anal beads to put inside of him at all times, and turns them on to signal to Mac to meet him at a hotel. He says he did it to....get him out of the house? and to get Mac to....buy him crab?

Dennis looks so devastated when Mac says he's in love with Johnny. I kinda wonder if it's the idea that Mac could love someone else that upsets him... or if he's reacting to Mac telling him he is in love with him to his face?

This is also the episode where we learn that Dennis has a fool proof method for attracting men. When Mac and Dee ask why he has this system he just shushes them.

(season 16 episode 5) The relationship between Malcom and his dad is a parallel of Mac and Dennis's relationship. The speech at the end to me seems like its hinting that Mac knows more/ has more control and power than is let on.

NEW INFORMATION JUST DROPPED I have just been made aware of the actual parallel between Malcom and the dad possibly being Dennis and Frank.

(season 16 episode 8) Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare!

Dennis takes a mental health day. Some people really hated this episode but I really liked it. Mac is putting coal in a pressure cooker to make diamonds. Dennis rips the CEO's (who is wearing a Hawaiian shirt like we've seen Mac wear) heart out, and squeezes it so hard it turns into a diamond and he eats it. This is a direct parallel to the nightman cometh where he also rips Macs heart out.

*edit to add* The director of this episode (who did not write the ep but still was involved in its creation obviously) Heath Cullens, in a reddit QA when asked if this was a nod to dayman replied "Nope. I think pretty much a coincidence." which I think is a total missed opportunity tbh.

This was all in Dennis' mind, and it seems to me that the Mac "situation" has left him with a sense of powerlessness. He feels isolated, trapped in an endless nightmare of his own creation, and he has nobody he can count on to help him, there's nobody he can rely on, he can only trust himself. Compressing the coal into a diamond represents Dennis molding everything to be exactly as he wishes, and by swallowing it he reclaims absolute control.

Always sunny book- : the 7 secrets of awakening the highly effective four-hour giant, today

"Mac for instance is also a 3 in ugly, so even if this exercise we're going to try fails, you'll have some company at your ugly parties. For the record, on the ugly scale charlie is a five, frank is a six, and Dee is a nine." - Dennis

#Macdennis #Mac iasip #Dennis iasip #Mac and dennis #It's always sunny in philadelphia #iasip #brevity is not the soul of wit in this case #my magnum opus for my magnum dong #I'm sure this is missing plenty #feel free to tell me what I'm missing #in fact I insist that you do #Dennis reynolds #Mac macdonald #ronnie the rat #this is a living document

[tempestgnostic]

The Werewolf: Archetype and Identity

Someday I’ll make a list of my alterhuman and otherhearted identities, but I’m not sure when that will be. For now, I’ll just talk about the the most prominent one: The Werewolf. I capitalize the name for both its significance and the fact that it’s an archetypal identity, so to speak. (I also use he/him throughout this essay, simply because I’m speaking of The Werewolf in relation to myself, and as myself.) I’m not a specific werewolf in any sense, and I’m not drawn from just one piece of folklore, or even one broad interpretation. It’s much bigger than that. Of course, explaining all the finer details would require an essay, and time is at a premium nowadays. Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit, and tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes, I will be brief. Pay no attention to the appropriately-timed readmore.

Let’s look at an example of what I mean: the eponymous baron in Bisclavret is a specific werewolf, but he’s also one of many depictions of The Werewolf as a somewhat noble being who is wronged by others—in this case, his wife—as a consequence of his true nature. This “noble beast” interpretation can be contrasted with folk tales of feral werewolves who threaten villagers and fear neither torch nor blade. Werewolves aren’t solely monsters meant to inspire empathy or fear, however. They can also serve specific literary functions, often as symbols of broader concepts and experiences. The werewolf story can be used as a metaphor for a young person coming-of-age, a challenging tale of tangling with the darker aspects of human nature, or even as an exploration of queer identity and the liminal spaces we occupy. These are certainly not unique to werewolves, and the latter is especially common among other creatures embraced by the horror genre.

Each broad interpretation of The Werewolf feels to me like a part of my identity on some level. I’m the werewolf who feels guilty for the harm he’s done, who tries to resist his feral urges, but I’m also the one who embraces that side and indulges in it. I’m the werewolf who was born this way, the one who was blessed (or cursed) by some spirit or deity, but also the one who was bitten or scratched—forever changed out of cruelty, indifference, or even a dark perversion of love. The only bits of werewolf folklore I won’t engage with on some level are those from practices and cultures that are closed for me. They’re not mine to claim on any level—certainly not in any way that would be respectful.

Like so many in our community, my connection to The Werewolf is intricately intertwined with almost all other aspects of my identity. I’m genderqueer, yet I strictly use he/him pronouns. I have a beard—a thick one, at that—and a flat chest, yet I also identify myself as butch and sapphic. It’s been uniquely gender-affirming for me to have partners who identify as lesbians—to be fully seen and understood as butch. It would feel incredibly uncomfortable and even dysphoric for me to be with a straight woman. Even within queer spaces, at times I feel either gravely misunderstood or utterly invisible. I am, on some level, expected to conform, and my refusal to do so marks me at best as ‘confused,’ and at worst as a threat.

I embrace the androgyny in my voice and mannerisms, and I easily—often unintentionally—slip into different social presentations depending on who’s around me. (I’m also autistic, to no one’s surprise.) Code-switching comes naturally to me, likely as a result of having to cobble together adequate social skills over the course of a decade, but also as a matter of safety as a queer person who’s only ever lived in red states. The Werewolf is a liminal creature, existing in several different worlds at once and moving through them with varying levels of ability. I am no different—charming and quick to make friends when I know the social landscape, and terribly awkward and clumsy when I don’t.

In the interest of keeping this even remotely readable in one sitting, I’ll wrap this up here. The Werewolf can be a charismatic yet dangerous lover, a pitiful and wretched thing, a creature just beyond the veil of understanding, or even a kindred spirit. I am and have been all of these things, both in my external life and my mind’s inner world. I experience phantom and mental shifts, and I see myself in so many depictions of werewolves in media. This part of my identity plays a vital role for me in kink—though I’ll save the details for a properly 18+ post—in my relationship dynamics, in my pagan spirituality, and many other parts of my life. It fits neatly over my gender expression like a second skin and provides a backdrop for my social presence. I am The Werewolf As Archetype: a being representing liminality, transformation, and embracing authenticity—at any cost. It is a vital part of me, without which I would cease to be.

#alterhuman #alterhumanity #folcintera #otherkin #werewolfkin #alterhuman community #alterhuman essays

[redlettermediathings]

A wise man once said, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” Well, if that’s the case, judging by the length of this video these are four of the most witless clown-fools on the internet today. Mike, Jay, Jack and Rich Evans are perhaps the dumbest humans that have ever krebbed in my shorts. Hi I’m retired underground illegal casino pit boss Krebs Gorlon, and today I write to you from my home in war-torn Haiti to tell you about this newest episode of Best of the Worst. I'm farting as I type this due to the bacteria ravaging my colon, but I will try to make sense. Boy, it sure has been a long time since we’ve seen the boys watch three feature films, eh? But alas, today they are spinning the Wheel of the Worst™ again... There’s something about old, undiscovered tapes that makes my taint tingle with the titillating excitement of that first time I killed a man. Rich and Jack display a palpable level of non-excitement at this prospect in our video’s opening. Trust me, I get it. Sometimes these tapes can be a nightmare. Sometimes they can be a lot of fun though. It’s about as exciting as being forced to play a game of Russian Roulette with your precious time and sanity. Mike (the ugly fat one) appears to be the most unhinged of them all in this episode. You see Jay (the hippie clown) had haplessly purchased a case of “Hazy IPAs”. Silly little man that he is, he purchased solely on the style of the packaging. A lovely hazy as it is though. Voodoo Ranger’s Tropical Force. A product made by New Belgium brewing. Note: They are a NON-Sponsor. In fact, we’ll probably get sued showing what vile filth comes out of Mike’s mouth after drinking a dozen of these. So essentially what was cut from the video was Mike berating Jay on his foolish purchase. You see, the supply in the RLM booze fridge with thin at best. Jay bought beer cause he liked the green/yellow package design and was thrilled at the sight of a skeleton aviator on the can. What he didn’t check was the ABV, which is at a very healthy 9.5%. Mike’s been around the block a few times more than Jay so that’s the very first thing Mike checks. After our Half in the Bag “What are these super bottles?!” incident when Mike accidentally drank 9 beers that were 12%, he knows to check. ABV stands for alcohol by volume. It also stands for how soon Mike becomes a slurring monster who can’t say the word “apartment” and passes out into a bonfire suffering 2nd degree burns on his wang and dumplings – rendering all his man-parts useless. However, Mike faced a difficult choice: Deal with the unbearable state of sobriety or drink the beers that are 9.5% and hope for the best. He chose the latter. Krebs does not approve. The results will be apparent as the night goes on. In the end though, what we have here is another classic Wheel of the Worst. So settle in for the next 90 minutes with your favorite beverage and snack and prepare to laugh, cry, and soil yourself with laughter that will give you nightmares for the rest of your sad lives.

#youtube #redlettermedia #red letter media #rich evans #jay bauman #gorilla interrupted #half in the bag #mike stoklasa #best of the worst #jack packard

[jagged--dust-jacket-analysis]

So in my English class, we had to create a speech to give on a controversial or polarizing topic of our choosing. And because I am a writer and interact with fandom culture on the daily, I naturally chose Art censorship. I wanted other people on here to see it, because I think it might be one of the greatest (and most important) things I've written.

So, here it is. Feel free to critique and comment on it however you like:

Art is defined as, “the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination.” This includes not only paintings, drawings, and sculptures. But also music, books, movies. It has always been a part of our lives, an unconscious expression of society and culture. Art is a part of the world. After all, Demetri Martin once said, “The Earth without Art is just ‘Eh.’” I don’t know about you, but I do not want to live on a planet called Eh. Unfortunately, censorship threatens to destroy the ability to freely create. There has been a rise in social awareness and social justice movements, with it talk of censorship. And most times, this stems from a good place. Wanting to protect people from the triggering ideas contained in art. And while I can understand this desire, I believe this is also dangerous. To censor art—especially “heavy” art—is to stifle an artist's creativity, is to dampen the social benefits art offers, is to squander the rights awarded to us as a free society. Censorship of art is simply wrong.

In school, we grow up being taught a wide variety of skills. Math, reading, history. All of these are important, don’t get me wrong. But I think the most important thing we’re taught is the ability to create. Creation is a very cathartic activity, with several benefits specifically for teens. The Polaris Teen Center’s article titled, “Five Therapeutic Benefits of Art Programs for Teenagers” they state that, “By stimulating the mind through artistic engagement, teens can create something that they can tangibly call their own. This helps regain the sense of self-determination necessary in order to overcome other problems in their life.” Creation, art, is taking all the emotions inside of you and putting them to positive use. Censorship, though, threatens to take away this powerful form of expression. By censoring what topics an artist can and cannot cover, we are taking away the ability to be express freely. They now have to color inside the lines. So instead of focusing on the art itself, the emotional reflection that comes with it? They’ll be focused on following guidelines. Focused on making sure their creations do not offend or fall outside of the set rule society has shoved down their throats. They will loose the therapeutic effect of art to an ideology that seeks to corrupt it. 

Art, and symbols, have long been used to promote progress. To move our society forward. It has been an especially big part in activism movements. We all remember the iconic raised fist used by the Black Lives Matter movement from twenty-twenty. There’s also Picasso's famous painting, the “Guernica.” SmartHistory, a site dedicated to art and its history had this to say about Picassos painting: “Picasso expressed his outrage against war with Guernica, his enormous mural-sized painting displayed to millions of visitors at the Paris World’s Fair.” It was his outlet for his frustrations, a way to show people the horrors that had occurred. A form of protest in it’s own right. As William Shakespeare once said, “brevity is the soul of wit.” You can get your message across with few words and in this case, none at all. While art is another way to protest, censorship is a way to shut down said protests. It has long been a tactic used to quiet the shouts and screams of the powerless to the powerful. By striking speeches from records, by deleting posts detailing injustices. By shutting down protests that where by all means actually peaceful. That is censorship, and that is how censorship fights progress, fights protest. Censorship of art is censorship of anger. And this hinders our progress. 

Now, let me pose a question. Who decides? Who decides what should or shouldn’t be allowed? Who decides what is offensive? You may think it’s simple, just follow the direction the currents of society flow. And I’m sure we all have things we want banned, symbols that are offensive, art that is hurtful. But once we cross that line, there’s no going back. Someday it could be your favorite singer. Headlines: Cardi B Music Banned for explicit language, Taylor Swift Removed for ‘romanticizing toxic relationships.’ Ridiculous, right? But that’s where censorship eventually leads. Once you cross that line, you can’t go back. All art in America is protected under the First Amendment. Under free speech. Author of the article, “Artistic Repression in America” writes, “If we are disturbed by images of violence or sex--or anything else--we can change the channel, turn off the TV, or decline to go to certain movies or museum exhibits. We can also exercise our own free speech rights by voicing our objections to forms of expression we don't like.” I have a right to create it, and you have a right to hate it. And higher authorities are not allowed to meddle. 

And so, Roger Scruton once said, “Art and music shine a light of meaning on ordinary life, and through them we are able to confront the things that trouble us and to find consolation and peace in their presence.” A lot of the time, art is going to make you uncomfortable. But it is that discomfort that will spark conversation. Art is going to even make you angry sometimes. Good. That is the job of an artist, to illicit strong emotional responses from their audience. You cannot hide everything that makes you uncomfortable. You cannot tear down every painting that depicts gore and violence, cancel every show or movie that touches on something you believe should be untouchable. You cannot torch every disagreeable book or smash every controversial statue. You cannot censor all art that makes you feel, because then what is left? In the words of Demetri Martin, “Just Eh.”

#art #censorship #anti censorship #media criticism #media stuff #art censorship #JDJ-Miscellaneous

[greatprotector-if]

i was lookin back in my docs and i found one of the earliest drafts of tgp chapter 1

Your first kidnapping scare is only two days after your official appointment as the crown’s knight.

The maid runs up to you pale as a sheet, blabbering something about “The crown—the crown isn’t in their room—the window is open!”

This is not how you thought your morning would begin. “What?”

She doesn’t dignify you with any elaboration before whirling around and hurrying down the hallway back to the crown’s room.

Oh, gods.

When you reach the room in question, the window is, as she said, wide open.

“Please,” she begs, rushing past you to open all the remaining windows. “I’m sorry to spring this on you, but I’m in a rush, myself—you have to find them before the Queen returns from breakfast. I’ve given you two hours at the most.”

Your gaze flits from her to the window, then back to her. Your brain is lagging quite severely behind. “You’ve—I’m sorry?”

“They do this all the time,” she explains, hastily stripping the bed of its sheets and gathering them up in her arms. “Disappears at any hour of the day, for as long as they want. But the Queen will be expecting them soon, and she can’t know they’ve been out of the castle without her permission.”

Oh. You’d immediately assumed that they’d been kidnapped. Good thing that’s apparently not the case?

“They leave behind a letter every time.” She tucks all the pillowcases in her basket, pointing her chin at the desk beside the window. A lone piece of paper sits atop it, and the corner flutters gently in the breeze. “When you find them, please tell them they’ve been in the bath.”

You can’t imagine how anyone could spend two hours in the bath, but regardless of your personal feelings, you suppose you have a job to do.

You make your way over to the desk and pick up the letter they’ve left behind. The paper is smooth and thick beneath your fingertips.

‘To whomever it may concern,

I’ll be back soon!

Yours,

Kallias'

They say that brevity is the soul of wit and all that, but as the person tasked with finding them within the next two hours, you can’t find it in yourself to laugh.

#this entire idea was scrapped but #it's kind of funny to me that even though the story has changed quite a bit since the beginning #kallias has not changed at all #they are equally annoying in every time ❤️

[artemis-entreri]

[[ This post contains Part 3 of my review/analysis of the Forgotten Realms/Drizzt novel, Glacier’s Edge, by R. A. Salvatore. As such, the entirety of this post’s content is OOC. ]]

Genre: Fantasy

Series: The Way of the Drow: Book 2 | Legend of Drizzt #38 (#35 if not counting The Sellswords)

Publisher: Harper Collins (August 09, 2022)

My Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Additional Information: Artwork for the cover of Glacier’s Edge and used above is originally done by David Palumbo. This post CONTAINS SPOILERS. Furthermore, this discussion concerns topics that I am very passionate about, and as such, at times I do use strong language. Read and expand the cut at your own discretion.

As of this point, I am still finishing this document. I will be posting the subsequent sections. The table of contents will be updated when it is complete.

Contents:

Introduction

I. Positives I.1 Sublime Similes and Marvelous Metaphors I.2 Other Effective Imagery I.3 Consistent Lore and Decent Worldbuilding I.4 Respectable and Respectful Characterization

II. Neutrals

III. Negatives (Technical Writing) [you are here] III.1 Punctuation Problems III.2 Shameful Similes and Maladroit Metaphors III.3 Other Imagery Issues

IV. Negatives (Characterization)

V. World Breaks

VI. Religious Commentary

VII. Ego Stroking

VIII. Problematic Themes

IX. What’s Next

Negatives (Technical Writing)

While not valued by some, correct technical writing, such as spelling, punctuation and grammar, go a long way towards a book’s fundamental readability. Although I consider Salvatore’s errors in the technical department minor compared to the crimes he commits against, for instance, characterization, I will point out the errors in Glacier’s Edge both for the sake of being thorough, but also because it’s pretty embarrassing for an author that touts his status as a multi-time New York TImes Bestseller to have so many issues occur in his technical writing. Some of these instances appear to be typos that were also overlooked by his editor, but some appear to be, appallingly, conscious choices that Salvatore made.

Punctuation Problems

The first example of bad technical writing occurs in the very first sentence of the prologue:

This is one of those shockingly bad conscious choices. “And the cold.” is not a proper sentence, as it lacks both a subject and a predicate. I believe Salvatore was trying to achieve a sense of isolation, with emphasis on the dark, quiet and the cold, but this is a really clumsy and not at all evocative way of going about it. While it’s true that brevity is the soul of wit, it does not mean that one should abandon basic writing rules, especially when doing so doesn’t gain anything at all to convey one’s point. The above construction would work better if it, for instance, told us more about either of the three qualities of dark, quiet, and cold, and then drew a comparison of the other two qualities to the one that’s being specified. As it is, with just those two sentences, dark can be anything from sunset to the lightless areas of the Underdark, quiet could be anything from a classroom during an exam to a soundproofed room, and both a Floridian in New York during November and a Swede in the second month that the sun hasn’t risen would both be cold. Adjectives just flung out there do leave more space for the imagination, but that lack of specificity also fails to convey the qualities of the setting.

The next error is a basic one:

The absence of the comma feels strangely like seeing a car painted a really ugly shade like baby shart green. It’s not a big deal if it’s some old, run down vehicle from an age long past, no one’s going to look at it twice anyway and if they do, the paintjob isn’t what they’d worry about. However, in this case with Mr. Mutli-NYT Bestseller, who believes that his work is more akin to a Ferrari, looking at that painfully basic error is like looking at a freaking Ferrari painted baby shart green complete with textured details in shades of brown and yellow.

The baby shart green car phenomenon reappears with:

I’ll leave it off here rather than coming up with another overly detailed and gross analogy for this technical and very basic error.

Another example of a technical and very basic mistake is the following:

Everyone makes typos, but not everyone throws their weight around boasting about how they’re multi-time NYT Bestsellers and how they “created the drow of the Forgotten Realms” (by the way, he didn’t. Dude didn't even create Lolth or her cult, let alone other drow deities, faiths, cultures, and cities). This kind of thing is just embarrassing for someone with decades of writing experience and access to the editors of one of the world’s top publishing companies.

Shameful Similes and Maladroit Metaphors

While Salvatore has pulled off some successful similes in Glacier’s Edge, the following is not an example of one:

The sad thing about this fail is that it seems that Salvatore had the right idea, but instead of actually describing a delicious, flavor-filled scent from a far-off land, he just leaves it feeling like notes to an editor or ghostwriter to do the actual work. It is understandable that specificity might prove to be a turn-off to some readers, as people’s tastes vary vastly. However, it’s still better to use something specific and evocative, and there are a lot of things that are pretty much safe bets across countless cultures, for instance the smell of bread freshly out of the oven.

Salvatore demonstrates in Glacier’s Edge that he understands how to use similes, even understands how to use them well, but then passages like the following call that knowledge into question:

This is frustrating for two reasons: first, based on how we see that window of ice function, it is literally a trap by D&D standards. If we move away from D&D though, and consider this from the perspective of someone who’s never heard of D&D before, the comparison doesn’t really elucidate anything. This simile, if it can even be called that, is just confounding all around. The sad thing is, this sentence has an immensely easy and straightforward fix: remove everything after the comma and replace the comma with a period. If he’s really married to mentioning the trap comparison, simply remove the “like”, and bam, it’s better.

A successful simile not only employs an evocative image, the comparison should also possess the appropriate mood. The following is a decent comparison, however conveys entirely the wrong mood:

A frantic crab evokes chaos, incoordination, and most of all, retreat, as the only time that most people witness frantic crabs is when they’re trying to eat them and the crab is attempting to flee for its life. It doesn’t even evoke speed, as even a crab in full retreat is not the speediest of creatures. While this could be somewhat mitigated if one were to substitute “demonic” for “frantic” that still doesn't make it truly appropriate. After all, the Hunter, the name given to Drizzt’s primal battle alter ego that puts him in a higher state of instincts and enhances his combat prowess, is supposed to be more akin to an apex predator. Silent, precise and deadly as a great horned owl diving for its prey is more the vibe of the Hunter, not some unintelligent crustacean that’s pretty far down multiple food chains.

Another misuse of simile can be found in the following:

All it takes to fix this one is to change the simile to an explanation. As a simile, the passage fails like the earlier one about a trap reset. Rewritten as, for instance, “a hand reaching up from the floor as though some gigantic creature dwelled below the icy surface”, fewer words are employed, and becomes more evocative.

A good simile loses its effectiveness if used repeatedly. This is the case with the following:

The instance of likening Minolin Fey to a displacer beast is effective, but removing the tentacles and a pair of legs from the feline does not a new simile make. Much like how the first instance of something is unique but the second is a copycat and a poser, this low budget simile falls flat. That isn’t to say repeated and similar similes can’t be effective, for instance if the author wants to convey that a certain character has feline qualities, repeating variations of the comparison can solidify the impression. However, these are two totally different characters. By comparing them to similar things, it only serves to muddle the distinctiveness of their respective personalities.

I’ll take this opportunity to refresh what constitutes a simile: a simile is a figure of speech involving the comparison of one thing with another thing of a different kind, used to make a description more emphatic or vivid. Similes, alongside metaphors, all fall under the analogies category. Although it wouldn’t be totally inaccurate to describe the above passage as an analogy, in general analogies are more extensive and elaborate than a simile. Furthermore, analogies are a type of argument where there is a clear comparison and a relation between two different concepts or objects and similes are a literary device that makes a direct comparison between two different things. For this reason, the comparison being made in an analogy can be used to make an explanatory point, whereas a simile cannot be used in the same fashion.

An example of a bad simile is the one found at the end of this passage:

While the imagery of a terrified washerwoman stomping rats isn’t a bad one insofar as being evocative, the mood in the comparison is totally wrong. As a dragon, Tazmikella is among the apex predators of her world, which is true even considering that copper dragons are not the most powerful among dragons. The opponents that she is treading underfoot are certainly to her as at most rats are to a human woman, far less than rats if one is being honest, as the average rat wouldn't likely be eliminated due a a generic stomping, even if the stomper was terrified. Further, the mood of the situation Tazmikella is in compared to the washerwoman is severely off. The passage leading up to the last part projects confidence, ferociousness, and the coordination of a majestic creature dominating her enemies. A terrified washerwoman in contrast likely stomps more floor than rat, and while there might be an argument made for ferociousness, she is anything but coordinated, majestic, or confident in her endeavors. I suppose bonus points should be given to Salvatore for attempting to make an in universe comparison (in the sense that the Realms, as a fantasy world loosely based on medieval times has washerwomen like all such fantasy worlds do), however in this case that is not sufficient to save it from failing. The sad thing is, this simile could be greatly improved by a simple modification: the removal of the word “terrified”, or perhaps replacing it with something to the effect of “frenzied”. With either change, the lack of confidence and coordination can be effectively removed by the reader’s interpretation. The no longer specifically terrified washerwoman becomes one who is accustomed to dealing with rats as one of the aspects of city life, and is going about her routine of chasing them away from her work space. In such a scenario, both confidence and coordination comes from her familiarity with the situation. Better similes can be found for the situation, but the existing one is salvageable.

The final simile fail, which really takes the cake, is the following: 

What the serious heck is this analogy even supposed to mean? Taking it apart doesn’t help in making any more sense of it, starting with how the children sent to war part is supposed to be a positive, but even in Lolthite drow culture that is definitely not a positive practice. What exactly is Gromph feeling here? One would presume pride or perhaps determination, given the impressive scope of his attack and the formidability of his opponent. I think Salvatore might be trying for that Gromph is putting out meteors in a great quantity like some large birthing monster puts out offspring, but even taken in that context, it’s difficult to make sense of this comparison. Is Salvatore saying that Gromph has sent many of his children to war? That Gromph enjoys seeing his children burn? It’s honestly difficult to tell. This is most likely one of those things that he wrote thinking that it sounds cool, and of course those among his fans who believe that the most redeeming quality of women are their looks will be all like, “omg that’s so cool” without actually stopping and considering that it means less than nothing.

Other Imagery Issues

One of the most prominent and obnoxious Salvatorisms has been the “back on his/her/their heels” phrase. In the past, Salvatore used this phrase so much that someone was being forced back on their heels in almost every tense encounter, combat or otherwise. He has gotten better from abusing it so much, hopefully from the realization that people do not actually go back onto their heels when surprised, especially not expert masters of combat. In Glacier’s Edge, this usage appears only four times. One of those times actually has me wondering if Salvatore has indeed progressed enough beyond this old and awful trope to poke fun at himself for it:

As commendable as it would be if he were intentionally making fun of himself, unfortunately this passage is unsuccessful overall. While it is a decent example of using context to define the uncommon word “hallux”, unfortunately the understanding of the word is incomplete. The hallux is indeed on the back side of a bird’s foot, but it’s one of the digits of the foot rather than the actual heel. The hallux of a bird is more like our thumb or big toe, and a creature with bird feet would not want to go back on its hallux anymore than we’d want to put weight on our fingers or toes in the opposite direction that they naturally bend. What would more realistically happen, in the unrealistic scenario of going back on one’s heels, is that the vrock would go back to the part of its feet that’s most similar to our thenars, which are the rounded fleshy parts of the hand at the base of the thumb, or in other words, the “heel” of our palms. Please note that I’m not saying that the above passage would be improved with the incorporation of accurate technical terms. It would not be, and the best way to fix it is to drop this Salvatorism altogether.

Astonishingly, sometimes Salvatore seems to actually forget what a simile is, and/or how to use one:

The above is an utter failure of a writing device masquerading as a simile. The context of the situation is that Galathae and Allefaero are being pursued by polar worms as they desperately try to make their way to the ropes leading out of the worms’ lair. The entity whose side is blackened and smoking is one of the polar worms, who had been struck by one of Allefaero’s lightning attacks. The polar worm had literally been seared by lighting. There is no “as if” about it. The way that this is written is the same type of fail as, “the lamp sat there like an inanimate light-emitting object”, “the ice was as cold as frozen water”, “the fire was hot like burning”, you get the idea. Even if the argument were made that this passage is written the way it is because it’s being told from Galathae’s perspective and that she was really in the zone, that she didn’t know what Allefaero had been up to, it would make even less sense. Galathae and Allefaero had gone down as a two man rescue team, in a highly dangerous situation one doesn’t need to be a seasoned combatant to know to prioritize having each other’s backs. Furthermore, Galathae had seen Allefaero use devastating lightning attacks against the polar worms, and her witnessing his prowess had caused a conscious shift of her perspective of him. Finally, in that same scene, we’re told how sacred Galathae considered her duty of trying to save Allefaero and how she owed it to her god to do so. Given all of these, Galathae would either have to be not very bright at all or have less of a memory than a goldfish to see the polar worm’s injury and think, “Oh gee, that looks like lightning damage, I wonder where it came from?” rather than immediately making the connection between it and Allefaero. It would be easily fixed by dropping the “as if”, or just removing everything after the comma altogether.

Repetition is definitely not the soul of wit, but Salvatore sure enjoys engaging in it. Spamming the words, “magnificent” and “fine”, has long been one of the Salvatorisms, but thankfully with the recent books he seems to have been weaned off of the habit of using those two words. In my analyses of previous books, I noted that unfortunately he has replaced those two favorites with new words to spam. In Glacier’s Edge, he adds “strange creature” to his arsenal:

While in general, three times can hardly be called spamming, Salvatore only uses “strange creature” four times in the book, and three of those refer to Yvonnel 2.0. Moreover, each of those three instances of referring to Yvonnel 2.0 are done by different characters: the first by Sos’Umptu Baenre, the second by Kyrnill Melarn, and the third by Mez’Barris Armgo. Less of imparting to the reader that the Lolthites view Yvonnel 2.0 in a dehumanizing (de-drow-izing?) manner, the repetition of “strange creature” feels more like a memo had been passed around among the Lolthites denoting that this is how Yvonnel 2.0 should be described. Its almost as if Menzoberranzan's Facebook had Yvonnel change her status to “Strange Creature”. It would’ve been more effective for each of the matron mother listed above to have her own way of describing Yvonnel 2.0, but all to the same effect. However, Salvatore does not do this, perhaps out of laziness, or perhaps it was too difficult for him to come up with two variations of the concept of “strange creature”. Here are some alternatives that could’ve worked: bizarre entity, aberration, odd beast, incomprehensible personage. I didn’t use a thesaurus for those, but perhaps Salvatore could benefit from using one. However, a thesaurus is just a tool, and like any tool, its effectiveness depends on the abilities of its wielder. Knowing Salvatore, sadly, the most likely outcome of the employment of a thesaurus would be phrases that range from weird to cringey in nature. 

One of the ways to distinguish between a good author and a bad one is through gauging the amount of showing versus telling that they employ in their writing. Showing is using descriptions that appeal to the reader’s senses to convey an idea, concept, image and/or conclusion to them, whereas telling is directly informing the reader of the aforementioned things. Writing via showing is superior to writing via telling not only because it’s more poignant, but also it’s more difficult to pull off effectively. Salvatore’s writing unfortunately consists of a great deal of telling rather than showing, and just like there are varying degrees of success when it comes to showing, there are varying degrees of failure when it comes to telling. The following passage in Glacier’s Edge is an example of telling instead of showing, and a particularly incompetent case of it as well:

The failure that I’m specifically referring to is “distinctive-looking”, an adjective that conveys nothing at all in terms of characterization. Distinctive can mean being different from others, or having an uncommon quality. If we take the first meaning, it’s really a ‘well, duh” moment, because everyone looks different from everyone else. The second meaning doesn’t make the descriptor any more effective, for the traits that Salvatore elaborates upon, namely her thick copper hair and bigger than average blue eyes, are not qualities that are all that out of the ordinary. It would be far more effective to take out the waste of the two words and replace them with descriptions of other aspects of her features. For instance, how high and pronounced are her cheekbones? Do her ears have a slight point to them because of her true nature? What is the size of her nose, the height of its bridge, the flare of the nostrils, the shape of its tip? Since this is Ilnezhara, mayhaps she’d incorporate some subtle draconic features in her human appearance, for instance, do her pupils have a slight vertical elongation that only the most observant might note? Are her teeth just slightly too sharp for a human’s, only visible when she grins fiercely? Is her hair straight, curly, or any number of textures, and does it shine with a metallic gleam under sunlight? All of these are just some of the many many examples of how we could be shown about Ilnezhara, instead of being told she’s “distinctive-looking”. As it is however, Salvatore might as well be describing the protagonist of the live action Alita: Battle Angel movie, a film most remember by the realistic anime-proportioned character:

Change the hair and eye color, and we’d have the “distinctive-looking” woman described above. That’s truly a face that’ll stick in your mind because it’s so much unlike anything else you’ve seen before, hence distinctive. Sorry, not sorry.

Salvatore’s fight scenes might as well be treatises on telling instead of showing. In the more recent books, the fight scenes have gotten better, mainly through their decreases in length. The shorter sequences have reduced the likelihood of there being more words than clarity about what is actually happening. Often the earlier descriptions have played out like Hollywood C-list stop-action fight sequences, as this reader’s experience demonstrates:

However, this isn’t to say that the telling has gotten any better or is even reduced. Case in point:

Much like the earlier example with “distinctive-looking”, this passage serves us up a bunch of words with very little meaning. It also feels totally devoid of heart. In previous novels, Salvatore would liken Drizzt’s combat maneuvers to a deadly dance, now, these descriptors fall so flat that they don’t even possess the concept that they could leap off the page and lift our imaginations. Like all of Salvatore’s combat scenes, there is so much lost potential. Instead of making a grocery list of occurrences, the scenes would be much more evocative if they, like with all effective writing, appealed to all of our senses. Action scenes have the additional potential of throwing the reader into the midst of them by offering us glimpses of the participants’ thoughts and reactions, as well as what they see, hear, feel, smell, and taste, but of course, Salvatore doesn’t do that either. I suppose the one upside to the example cited above is that at least he didn’t actually cite a specific number of strikes and conceivable angles, which, given his track record, would’ve been laughably ridiculous in nature.

It is difficult to say why the examples covered in this section exist, as many of them are easy fixes, or have corresponding successful instances as discussed in the Positives section. As that section showed, Salvatore can do better, but it’s anyone’s guess why he doesn’t. Of course, while it does happen with some books, it would be unreasonable to expect every book to excel throughout. However, this reader can’t help but feel that a little extra effort can go a long way into improving the quality of Drizzt novels, at least in the technical department.

It is difficult to say why the examples covered in this section exist, as many of them are easy fixes, or have corresponding successful instances as discussed in the Positives section. As that section showed, Salvatore can do better, but it’s anyone’s guess why he doesn’t. Of course, while it does happen with some books, it would be unreasonable to expect every book to excel throughout. However, this reader can’t help but feel that a little extra effort can go a long way into improving the quality of Drizzt novels, at least in the technical department.

#legend of drizzt #Forgotten Realms #Drizzt #Drizzt Do'Urden #R A Salvatore #Glacier's Edge #The Way of the Drow Trilogy #book review #ooc

[broadwaybabymomma]

To all of my many, many adoring fans:  Your long wait is over for I have returned.

To everyone else: Why are you on my social media right now?

But back to the people who matter. I know, I know, I owe you all an apology for disappearing from the public eye the way I did, but in my defence, it was only so that I could bring the massive talent, joy, and all other things me back to Broadway with my triumphant return to the stage.

And speaking of which;  I’m sure you all know by now that there are only a few weeks left to see me redefine the role of Marian Paroo in The Music Man, after which I will be taking a (very) brief hiatus to spend some time with my incredible wife and even more incredible daughter (sorry, Quinn, I love you, but I made Moriah so she gets top billing). But fear not, my temporary departure from the stage will not come with a renewed departure from all of you here in Social Media land. Your dashes, feeds, and all the rest will remain filled with my wit, wisdom, and insatiable love of all things Musical.

And while we’re on the subject of Musicals: I would like to take a moment to formally and publicly congratulate my very dear friend and former sister in law, Chelsea, on her pitch perfect casting in the upcoming Wicked movie. I know we’ve discussed it off-line, as it were, but it deserves a full, vocal, and very public celebration. The only thing that could make me happier is if I were your co-star.

That’s a joke. Sort of.

But in all seriousness; I couldn’t be happier or prouder of you, and I know you’re going to be absolutely amazing. Congratulations (and I better be your plus one at the premier).

I know there are a mountain of other things I need to catch up with you all about, but if I tried to do it all in one post, I’d break whatever character limit there is.

Why is there a character limit in the first place? It makes no sense. What difference is there between 5 10,000 word post or one 50,000 word posts? This is why I will never understand computers.

Then again, they do say that brevity is the soul of wit, and to always leave your audience wanting more, so I suppose there may be some merit to a character limit after all. And in any case, if any of you want to know about something specific, you can always ask. I do love talking with my Fans.

Your shining star, Rachel Barbra Fabray-Berry

#starterwhatif #p: dash #c: self

[jhsharman]

Title card shuffle

A short-lived feature, "Pussycat Capers". Comics dot org indicates seven pages across two issues. Why they dropped it -- well, it does strike me that they could jyst run the usual assortment of one pagers and leave out this title logo -- a zippered up mouthed tabby?. This one leaves a question -- does " True Blue" make sense as a title?

A maxim about brevity and soul and wit. Though the case could be made for an obnoxious laying on thick of extraneous dialogue as an "anti-comedy", Alexandria does not engage in enough of it to show that's where the re-writer is going with this.

Bit curious. That white thing in the background. Where did it disappear to? What happened to Jose's arm? Why is there her leg dangling underneath Valerie's arm? Are these chop jobs made to make room for Alexander's extended, and pointless, dialogue?

#Archie Comics #Josie McCoy #Melody Valentine #Valerie Brown #Alexandria Cabot #Accidental spill #Self flagellation #Insults #Stan Goldberg #1972 #severed leg

[goldensunset]

I saw the tags.

UXDR needs and is perfect for it.

Please,

I started on Percy Jackson and love when people assign vines with characters.

Like a better? Worse? Eeeh? Incorrect quotes.

(it's really funny seeing whether people use names, or portraits, with my personal favorite being what many fire emblem three houses people did. They took a lot of the portraits set with different faces, and used it as the people in the vines changed facial expressions.)

I don't hate tiktoks in those compilations, but they have to have that vine energy you know what I mean?

it’s bc tiktoks can be as long as they want, basically. so people there have forgotten the whole ‘brevity is the soul of wit’ thing. on vine they were limited to like 6 seconds so they found creative workarounds. they actually had to be funny and get to the point while tiktokers can ramble endlessly and drive ppl insane

in any case i’d love to get better at video editing in general so it would probably be good to start with something dumb like this lol

#asks #someone-took-meep #i love typing these usernames you guys have lol

[appurva1]

Never Too Old for Laughs: Short Funny Birthday Wishes for Best Friends

Everyone cherishes birthdays as a significant milestone in life. However, it's the joy, laughter, and the heart-warming wishes that transform an ordinary birthday into an unforgettable one. But what's the secret to curating that perfect birthday greeting? The answer is humor. Spice up your greeting with our ideas for ‘short funny birthday wishes for your best friend.'

Humorous Birthday Wishes- Why They Work?

Firstly, why opt for a funny birthday wish? The beauty of humor lies in its ability to break the ice, lighten the atmosphere, and bring smiles to people's faces. It transcends the barriers set up by age, language, and culture, making it the perfect ingredient to mix into your birthday wishes. And this melts significant when it involves your best friend, where inside jokes and shared laughter thread through your relationship like a lively refrain.

Short Funny Birthday Wishes for Your Best Friend

Creating humorous birthday greetings can often stump even the best of us. Therefore, we have curated a list of exceptional, fresh, and funny birthday wishes that will have your best buddy laughing in no time!

"Happy Birthday! Here’s to the only day in the year I won't be there to bail you out of trouble."

"Just remember, the older we get, the closer we are to walking with canes. Happy Birthday!"

"On your birthday remember - age is just a number. Unfortunately, in your case, it's a very high one."

Why Keep It Short and Funny?

Remember that brevity is the soul of wit. People appreciate quick, clever quips that bring a smile to their faces in no time. Consequently, short funny birthday wishes for your best friend can weave a magic that paragraph-long birthday essays often lose out on.

Tailor-Making Humor

When crafting a short funny birthday wish for your best friend, align it with their sense of humor. Whether it's cheeky jokes, dry humor, or embarrassing nicknames from your shared past, your greeting must resonate with you both. This personal touch will imbibe the warmth and laughter shared between you two into the birthday wish.

Conclusion

Adding humor to a birthday wish can be a tricky skill, but it's surely not an impossible one. After all, with your best friend, everything becomes an enjoyable endeavor.

The goal is to deliver a birthday greeting that transforms a typical day into a jubilant celebration, filled with laughter and fond memories. So go ahead, use these short funny birthday wishes for your best friend, and bring a chuckle on their special day, because the bond of friendship and shared laughter never grows old, much like the two of you! A humorous birthday wish is a joyous way to commemorate another spin around the sun. So get creative, get funny, and get celebrating!

#birthday

[castle-dominion]

castle 7x7 Once Upon a Time in the West

the western episode liveblog

Lucky me I spent like 2.5 hours working on a supper that says it should take 35 mins bc I needed to make more for my uncle & I decided to take it slow instead of speeding thru at kitchen pace & also my finger has a hole slashed on it & honestly supper is still cooking in some ways.

Anyway liveblog time

All this medical jargon. At least we get the witnesses name right away.

Diamondback? *Immediately has a seizure*

Why clink glass when everyone is already there?

Brevity is the soul of wit (clipping) We got married! Their faces so good. The slow fall of javi's into a sneer/frown, lanie's fall into sad & slightly more open rather than just a smile, kevin's look between the two & blink JE: You guys suck. KR: What – why did you do that? LP: Hold – hold up. No, no, no, no, no.

they all just *turn* to look at martha Right drink ok

LP: Hold this (hold my beer) LP: I am your maid of honor. I haven’t had a carb in months, just in case I had to put that damn dress back on. KB: And you look great. LP: Save the flattery. Kate, you owe me dinner. I’m picking the restaurant and we’re ordering all the desserts. KB: (meekly) Okay. (I like how she's mad, says her piece, gets her apology dinner agreed to, & then forgives her & hugs her.)

*Lanie punches rick just a little bit* Guys! *dark strings that go just a little lower in anger* (clipping)

WE didn't get that call. Once again, not invited. & hey when I was a kid I made a skit on the Nativity of Christ by myself & when Mary & Joseph got married I didn't think of "I do" as the marriage, I didn't think of rings, I didn't think of vows, I thought of dancing. My stuffed animal that was Joseph & I (playing Mary) spun in circles together while I sang. To me, a wedding is about dancing. What I mean by this is: the reception is more important than actually getting married so don't worry u didn't miss a thing

RC: Could have been worse KB: It still might be. I mean, who knows what they’re doing to our place right now.

RC: Our place. Our. We’re married. We’re married. (he grabs her arm and links it with his) We did it, Mrs. Castle. KB: We certainly did, Mr. Beckett. RC: WAIT UNLESS THAT ADDS ANOTHER NAME TO HIS NAMES. Richard Alexander Edgar Rodgers Castle Beckett.

Why an island getaway if he's afraid of the ocean?

She looks good btw, nice hair. HOLY CRAP THAT HOSPITAL EMPLOYEE WEARING A JACKET OVER HER SCRUBS, i THOUGHT WAS A DOCTOR COVERED IN BLOOD & SHE WAS JUST CHATTING CASUALLY OUTSIDE AN OPERATING ROOM.

aT LEAST HE'S TRYING TO BE POSITIVE ABOUT MURDERS NOT MAI TAIS. whoops i didnt' realize caps lock was on. Also it is hard to type when I have a possible tendon injury in my finger

KB: And she believed she was a victim of foul play? Yay murder victim helping ppl know that they ARE a murder victim before they die! Dr: Yes, and so do I. Heart medicine? cardiac arrest? wait WHY is it lethal when unrefined? It is the same drug, just has other stuff near it like... fibre & calories & water from the plant... Unless the drug is actually altered on a chemical level... idrk. But yeah foxglove is medicinal & toxic. Why would the doctor want the detectives to do that? idk. Doesn't matter. All good.

Dagmar. (love-- I forget what I was writing, it's been a week or several. Oh wait maybe I was saying that I love people who sponsor disadvantaged children.)

Her mom only passed this recently? Oh & ew internship.

utter, whittle, such good diction *looks at him* Castle would be really smart abt this tho, he would give two smart answers, & then he'd say "third while you thought I was playing on my phone I found out it was a ranch in arizona"

but what's a "dude" ranch? XD esposito & castle XD they're still mad legit just tosses them his wallet XD

Sus (short, last minute, only 3 days) Beckett just does the time zone math in her head!? & according to sito the snake key is her bunkhouse key... "cowboy activities" so gay sex /j but also lol define cowboy activities, shovelling poop & breaking down your cattle into quarters for sale? she left her stuff OR she didn't bring it back with her bc she was in such a hurry

lol big boy & it hits him in the forehead

Video calls, ah yes. It's about the economy of the town, keeping people employed. Or yeah no it's personal. Love the set design too btw

Gates is pretty Sito shup. GATES OMG "I’m sure it was Mr. Castle’s fault." GATES OMG

RC: Well, look at this place. I mean, it’s got beautiful skies, wide open spaces, the thrill of the old west? (she’s still confused) What better place for an impromptu honeymoon? (her jaw drops) For the investigation, of course. We could jump on a plane and be there in a few hours. *right in front of gates* KB: No, Castle. We are not having a honeymoon at a dude ranch! ("a" honeymoon) Arguing so good RC: Well – it could be our cover story. We’re a newlywed couple with a hankering for the wild frontier, right? And look, Beckett. I know you want to see justice brought to this young woman’s killer. And … this … this is the only way. VG: I hate to say this, but your husband may be right. KB: *turns to look at her bc 1- why r u defending him, & 2- why are YOU defending HIM?* rysposito shared communication (Yeehaw) fricking love it. So excited for this ep.

(btw, I must have started this liveblog on the 27th; it is now oct 10, so you can see how busy my life is) clipping the fun intro but that horse whinney is the typical stock audio

Wow pretty people

Castle already looks kinda normal.

RC: Best honeymoon ever.

*Right out of the stagecoach KB steps into a pile of horse poop. She cringes.*

Love his outfit!!

James Grady. That's like James Jim Brady who disappeared mysteriously with Absolom Abbie Halkett. Love the language they use 'round here btw. Red bandannas is a good marker for the hands I think.

Aww upgraded them! Oh wait she was emailing about the fact that she was in room 14, the snake key wasn't relevant

JG: That’s my missus. Like yours, she runs the show here.

Castle speaking reminds me of firefly.

She's soo pretty

RC: Whoa. This is like, three fantasies coming true all at one. Only thing missing is … Gentlemen James, where do we get the replica guns? (he gestures shooting) Like yours. JG: Replica? Son, this is Arizona. It’s open carry.

Colt 45 babes

RC: (awed) I want to be him when I grow up. KB: (shrugs) Well yeah, if you grow up. JG: It’s all about practice, which you can do with one of our firearms, available for purchase at our gift shop. They just sell guns at gift shops in arizona? what!?!?

you mean ESPOSITO was wrong abt it being her bunk key.

RC: Are you looking for disinfectant? KB: Clues. Remember? Whitney was staying here. except she was NOT... this was not her room key.

whether we like it or not (big bro said aww)

He opens a door that turns out to be to the bathroom. But the bathroom isn’t empty. Tobias: Howdy, partner. RC shuts the door and turns back to KB. RC: I don’t know if it comes with the room, but there’s a naked cowboy shaving in our bathroom. This scene killed me. Just closes the door back on him. Tobias: Well, I guess when they found out that me and her both enjoyed chasing cowboys they figured what the heck. VERY authentic Tobias: I like my coffee like I like my men: strong, black, and bitter.

Tea (scandalbroth) (big bro loves this, he says "I love this faggot")

Of course they have a gay gossip at the cowboy honeymoon retreat. KB: So we procrastinate and make stuff up?

Well because you're more physically capable of hogtying beckett, you're the angry cop with training, he's the physically big writer who fences. But he gave you gunslinging!

they're allowed their phones?

Looove the outfits btw but I'm not taking a pic rn I have no time & don't have em standing beside each other.

KB: Hey Ryan, how’s it going? KR: Oh, wonderful. In fact, we were just discussing your nuptials. JE: Not the actual event, since neither of us were there. KB: Guys, is this really why you’re calling? KR: Partly, yes. JE: And we have news. Here’s the good: MTA cameras show that Whitney’s bags were left on the subway. KR: Here’s the bad news: they were stolen by a homeless man. But we put out a BOLO. Hopefully somebody will recognize him.

Wax covered cardboard? I thought that was like a broccoli case

She can tie up castle like how the bear tying class unus annus did tied up mark

Look at her nice & red dress

RC: I’ll take a coffin varnish. Bartender (who looks kinda cool ig): Some what? RC: You know, a gut warmer. Face burner. Nose paint? Cowboy cocktail? (the BARTENDER looks at him blankly) What do you all call whiskey here? Bartender: Whiskey RC: *flails his hand*

my man has an eyepatch wait XD keep an eye out! Castle!

Ollie: This isn’t a ring. It’s a noose.

Oh the bells are the signal for the ace up the sleeve thing & time for the gunfight.

Whitney did! *doesn't talk to whitney bc she dead* Ollie! Up high! Good on Castle for faking it with Ollie & Ollie for playing along so they can have their fight in private. Great dynamic. But the interruption made them both chill out a bit more.

Ranch key! *lock breaks*

Nice blowtorch but where the heck is it?

Dynamite IS covered in waxed paper but I thought of broccoli lol

Oh no we are going to receive some good old fashioned racism. My fnmi ass sitting over here waiting tensely 1876 babey!

CLIPPING RYAN ESPOSITO XD XD castle could have totally greased a palm for a truck.

15 miles on horseback? 4mph, that's 3 & a half hours or so bought himself a gun lol. I mean hey I'm anti gun but I love a sixshot. wait his& hers wedding gift guns? lmao that's great! But how will they get them back home?

love the fire there. If they're at a canter the entire way they could get there in 1h but thet ain't happening.

Yavapai dude: Seriously? You’re rolling up to the reservation dressed like extras from a Gene Autry movie? That’s some real cultural insensitivity. KB: Sorry. Sir, we didn’t mean any offense. We’re – we’re vacationing at Diamondback. YD: Yeah, I figured that. I was just messing with you folks. Relax.

Loooove languages. I watch murdoch mysteries & a lot of the languages are algonquian which means that since I know a bit of cree I can sometimes parse what they mean but these are words farther south. I don't know em.

KB: Yeah. I mean, the historical society, the Yavapai word, the dynamite. How does all of that add up to someone poisoning Whitney? It just doesn’t make sense.

He DID learn smth at the harmonica class!!! Cruising down the river? Let me call you sweetheart I'm in love with you? Magical, drinking champagne out of tin cups. Which one of them knew how to start a fire. *stripping* *there's a snake* *beckett fucking shoots it!?!?* *ryan & esposito run*

ryan & esposito look good now but esposito was different yesterday

the peacock boys?

first name Javi Castle stuttering

right, always the barkeep even if there was no mistranslation it would still happen just from english to english

the dam!

RC: Of course I want to go after the gold! It’s gold! he's done treasure hunts with her before uwu

Slim's a girl! Clyde is whitney's father!

Mm music! fake eagle (red tailed hawk) sound effect them thar hills

He told her to go first but he's first in... RC: Because it’s still here. For over a century, fifty ingots of pure gold have been trapped in this cold, dark tomb, waiting patiently to be rescued. (he kneels by the trunk) You hear that, Beckett? You hear them calling?

That's not gold!

That's blunt force trauma!

Pd? phillip dagmar? I thought it was Police Department typical cops "it DOES make u look guilty"

Bro said "it's them" bc the sheffir didn't want beckett to investigate in the first place but now daisy mae & the sherrif are taking beckett one way & james grady is taking castle alone the other way...

& I suddenly remember the rest of the episode, big bro is not far off.

Clyde "just fell" (& you cradled him as he died which is why YOUR shirt was bloody) Who was your other partner? Cut to: big bro's prediction

The slight pushzoom there...

*got his gun* it would be fun if the barkeep just shoots him (-big bro) But his gun ould have the safety on, but possibly a bullet in the chamber.

oh the barkeep IS there! *just ducks down a bit*

"residance in the bone ortchard" or castle you COULD sit down & have another drink & pretend you didn't hear the call from ryan & let jimmy get away (& then go after him later)

of cour'se it's a deus ex machina

RC: good thing I married the fastest gun from the east

Ooh beckett's corset tho it's a bit tight but still nice.

they like to bitch ig but it is not even GOOD bitching sometimes. kind of annoying. & "we're the reason they fell in love in the first place" where's your justification there? When you were complaining TO THEM it was FUN! now it is not in the fun way it's just bitchy & salty.

JE: Nah, nah. You know what really gets me? Is that they only invited immediate family. What, we’re not family? KR: More like poor relations. VG hangs back and listens to them talk. KR: And we’re probably the reason they fell in love in the first place. JE: Right? VG: You know, I’ve been listening to your bellyaching for the last few days. And I have to ask, *calm voice* VG, still calm voice: what the hell’s wrong with you two? (the way she says it is so good but she's also right) JE: Come on, sir. It doesn’t bother you? VG: You really want to know what I think, Detectives? *Ryan goes to say something. Maybe. He moves his mouth.* VG: I think that the two of you should stop whining like two little schoolgirls who weren’t invited to the dance and be happy that your friends, you very dear friends, have found a way to make it work. Especially after all the hell those two have been through. Now, that’s what I think. She gives them a pointed look. They’re chastised. KR: Well, when you put it that way … JE: Yeah, I mean, I guess in some opinions we have been kind of jerks about it, so … KR: Right. VG: Yeah. You have. But, if you’re interested there might be something you can do to make it up to them. She smiles. They’re skeptical. *Looks to esposito for a sec*

"you didn't invite us to your wedding" "Yeah well I named horses after you"

she lassooed him with her hog tying skills!

supposed to be a wedding dress; is a stripper dress *walking to her tied up* two vacation days is not a lot but four is a lot.

They get two honeymoons!

Well now, that was fun! & I did spend a bit over an hour & a half... esp when you consider I already watched some earlier but shush I had fun & this is a rare occurrance these days with how demanding school has been. Man trade school is a lot of work.

#castle 7x7 #the western episode #castle 7x7 spoilers #castle 7x7 quote

[thestagsstation]

Welcome! Enjoy the show and beware!

Hello, ladies and gentledemons, ghouls and boys, and those esteemed guests of both or neither persuasion! Alastor here! I'll be your host for the evening, even though host is the furthest thing from what I am here! Before we begin, a few guidelines and introductions. Some say brevity is the soul of wit, though, so we'll place those beneath the "cut," shall we? Do read on, dear listener!

🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶

Name: Alastor Nicknames: The Radio Demon. Otherwise, if you're wise? None.

Age: 38 Aging: I don't yet know!

Gender: Male Pronouns: He/Him, if you please Species: Deer Demon

Alter Type: Fictive Source: Alastor, Hazbin Hotel Origin: Fascinagenic System Roles: Nothing so formal, though I am an entertainer and the only one on this subsystem who knows how to have a little fun.

Likes: Jazz, big band music, a certain aesthetic, radio shows, audio dramas, meat

Dislikes: Television, pop music

🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶

Rules:

Do not act as though I am a roleplay muse.

For outerworld legal reasons, I cannot condone murder or cannibalism.

If you take issue with something I've posted or a view I've expressed, you are welcome and encouraged to leave. I do not hold my audience captive.

🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶

DNI:

Children. I haven't the time nor the patience for children. If you are under 18, then you should not be here.

Vox. Certainly Antoni and I aren't the only ones from our source. I'd prefer that idiotic television stayed off my blog.

What I understand to be the usual list of unsavory characters. Racists, sexists, homophobes, transphobes, SWERFs, radqueers, etc. Especially racists.

Those who do not believe my existance should be permitted. I am part of an endogenic subsystem. As such, I expect anti-endos to stear well clear of this blog.

Those who harass others over "problematic" content. I am, in case you've completely missed the memo, as they say, a cannibalistic serial killer in my source. Obviously here, I am not. However, I am still very much myself. If you have a problem with that, I encourage you not to follow or interact with me. I'll keep to my own space and you stay out of it.

🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶🎙️🎶

#pinned post #introduction #fictive #introject #alastor fictive #alastor introject #hazbin hotel fictive #hazbin hotel introject #fascinagenic #rules #dni #about #mobile friendly #endo safe

[kforourke]

GPT on Graham

One of the nice, nice but frustrating, things about being a book reviewer and having friends at various publishers is that they're always sending me books, either in the hope that I'll review said books or to keep me in the loop or because my friends are simply cool, etc. Which is great! Being sent books is spectacular! But it can also be frustrating because I don't always—often?—have time to read everything I'm sent, let alone to pitch reviews to publications & then actually write about the books I'm sent.

Case in point: Jorie Graham's latest collection of poetry, To 2040, which was recently published by Copper Canyon Press. Maybe ChatGPT can help?

Though I haven't finished formulating my thoughts about the book, so far its themes are similar to those present in Graham's work since 2008's Sea Change, i.e., worries about climate change, technology, and the anthropocene writ large. Here are the opening lines of "Translation Rain" from To 2040:

I am writing this in code because I cannot speak or say / the thing. The thing which should be, or I so wish / could be / plumbed fathomed disinterred from this silence, this ever thickening / silence through which, once, the long thin stalks & stems, first

(Quoting Jorie Graham is difficult since so many of her lines are enjambed, and because right-aligned lines bedevil online text editors.)

So with both my backlog & Graham's hesitation about technology in mind, I wondered: what might ChatGPT have to say about her work? Nothing about To 2040, of course—because of how it was trained, the tool has "limited knowledge of world and events after 2021" according to OpenAI. Nonetheless, asking ChatGPT about Jorie Graham's work, of all technophonbic-leaning writers, strikes me as particularly...poetic. I don't know whether she'd be amused or offended. Both?

Here's ChatGPT's first go, in response to "write 100 words about Jorie Graham's poetry":

Jorie Graham's poetry is a captivating exploration of language, consciousness, and the intricate threads that weave through our lives. Her verses shimmer with a remarkable blend of intellectual rigor and emotional resonance, challenging readers to engage with complex themes and ideas. Graham's language is lush and evocative, creating vivid images that dance across the page. Her poems often grapple with existential questions, probing the boundaries of identity and the nature of time. Through her profound insights and lyrical craftsmanship, Graham invites us into a world where language becomes a conduit for profound introspection, offering a glimpse into the mysterious depths of human experience.

Not too bad, but the prose is overly purple for my taste, and my dude really could have gone easier on the adjectives. What then, I wondered, would ChatGPT have to say about Graham's work in fewer words? Here's "write 50 words about Jorie Graham's poetry":

Jorie Graham's poetry is a lyrical exploration of the human experience, blending intricate imagery with philosophical depth. Her words unravel the complexities of existence, delving into themes of time, memory, and our connection to the natural world. Through her evocative language, Graham invites readers to contemplate the profound mysteries of life.

Better, but still a bit flowery and overly broad. We're getting there.

Last but not least, "write 25 words about technology in Jorie Graham's poetry":

Jorie Graham's poetry embraces technology's paradoxical nature, exploring its power to connect and isolate, to illuminate and obfuscate, revealing its complex impact on human existence.

Well done, ChatGPT—this is the best yet, if only because you've managed to describe AI's impact, at least in the early going: "to illuminate and obfuscate." Which also sounds like poetry's impact? Indeed, brevity is the soul of wit.

...

Header image via Dall-E 2, generated by entering the prompt "painting of a robot typing after henri matisse," which was inspired by Matisse's "The Violinist at the Window" and Graham's "The Violinist at the Window, 1918" from Sea Change. The stunning opening lines of which read:

Here he is again, so thin, unbent, one would say captive—did winter ever leave—no one / has climbed the hill north of town in longer than one can remember—something hasn't / been fully loaded—life is blameless—he is a stem—& what here is cyclic, we would so

#chatgpt #OpenAI #poetry #Dalleart #climate change #technology #anthropocene #Jorie Graham

[thedeepweb]

brevity is the soul's wit in many many cases. on verified accounts' video essays tho its a commandment

[ryo-maybe]

Pocket-sized Mic Check

#Brevity is the soul of wit except in this case the soul was sold to Satan

[naberiie]

Pass the happy along! When you get this, reply with five different things that make you happy then pass it along to the first 10 people in your activity!

Thank you nonnie! Hmm.. five things that make me happy, let’s see…!

♢ Rosa Diaz saying the words “I’m bi” on television♢ Entirely filling up a notebook with both fic AND original story ideas♢ Late-night Netflix binges, cozy under three blankets (bonus points if it’s raining outside)♢ Falling into bed after a night out with friends - and waking up the next morning (hangover free) for a shower and coffee and then going RIGHT back to bed♢ Kudos and comment emails from AO3!!

#about #i guess #also another one! #noticing that your plants are growing strong and sending out new shoots! #hell yeah :d #also fic planning with eva!! #that's another one #mm i guess a lot of things make me happy ^^ #anonymous #brevity is the soul of wit #alcohol tw #just in case