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alidravana · 3 years

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You & Me

Written for Day 2 of the Buckley Siblings Weekend 2021 “Don’t lie to me!” + angst. Graphic and title inspired by an older prompt in the @the118discord. Thanks to the last minute beta by @sugaredmayhem!

Rating: T

Warnings: Implied past domestic abuse (no details)

Word Count: 1,716

Summary:

Buck’s tired. He just helped Eddie pull a grenade out of a patient’s leg and now he’s back at Abby’s apartment only to discover that Maddie’s bags are packed, and she’s ready to leave him, again. An alternative take to the end of S02:E01.

Can also be read on A03.

*****

Buck was exhausted by the time he got back to Abby’s apartment. He had been riding the high of rescuing the gentleman with the grenade stuck in his leg for the remainder of the shift. The fact that no one had gotten injured combined with feeling like he and Eddie were finally settling into a good working partnership had pumped him full of endorphins, carrying him through the last leg of their shift, which consisted of them finishing up relevant paperwork and checking inventory.

But the adrenaline was slowly draining from his body, and he could feel the tiredness begin to creep back in during the long drive home through traffic. The aches and pains in his legs, in his arms, and most of all in his hands started to make themselves known, the result of holding his body so still as to not bump the patient or the grenade that was stuck in his leg.

Buck could feel the weight of the protective vest, the snugness of it wrapped around his uniform, as if he was still wearing it. Buck could tell by the look on the face of the police officer that had helped him with it that it wouldn’t help much should the grenade go off. But at that point, all Buck had been focused on was rescuing their patient. And he could admit that he was glad that Eddie had been there, and knew what to do, because without him, Buck would have been lost.

Buck was crashing quickly, and as his body caught up to processing what had happened, so did his mind. When the ambulance exploded into a large fireball and the only thing that remained after the other station put out the fire was a large lump of metal, he didn’t realize until now how close they had all been to getting seriously injured…or killed. Not just him or Eddie, but the rest of the team too. It could have been any one of them, Bobby, Chim, or Hen stuck in the ambulance with the patient. And the thought of losing anyone was too much.

Reaching the door, it took Buck a couple tries to insert his key, his hand shaking, causing him to miss the keyhole a few times. The lock gave way easily, already being unlocked. Buck leaned his forehead on the door, taking a couple deep breaths before entering, knowing that his sister was likely still awake and present on the other side.

“Hey, how was your shift?” Maddie asked right away as Buck entered, dropping his duffle bag by the door. Buck shuffled into the living room to spot Maddie, a bottle of wine in front of her, a full glass in her hand. Dropping heavily into the sofa, Buck leaned back into the cushions. “Got another one of those glasses?” He asked, not wanting to go into any more details.

“It was that bad, huh?” Maddie commented, pouring him a glass of wine as well. The two siblings sat in silence, each slowly sipping their glasses of wine.

“Well, our last call involved the bomb squad,” Buck finally said, after downing half of his glass. He figured that Maddie would find out one way or another, and he’d rather she hear it from him. “But no one was injured, and the only thing that blew up was an ambulance, with nothing in it,” Buck was quick to add, seeing Maddie’s look of concern.

“Maybe you should stick to telling me about when you rescue kittens from trees,” Maddie said, taking a big gulp of her wine.

“Well, those aren’t always the safest accidents either…did I tell you about the time -” Buck started to say and then was cut off by Maddie’s hand across his mouth.

“Buck, I love you, but I need to pretend that you are always safe and out of danger, even when I know you aren’t okay? So save these stories for another time, or when we are both much more drunk than we are right now,” Maddie said, a soft smile on her face.

Buck nodded, understanding how difficult it could be to hear the bad stories, even though the one about the cat was actually hilarious. He watched as she played with the stem of her now empty wine glass, looking like she wanted to say something but wasn’t. Glancing around the room, he noticed that her travel bags were packed and tucked by the door of the bedroom. “Are you going somewhere?” Buck asked, trying to hide the hurt in his voice.

Maddie sighed, nodding her head while reaching for the bottle of wine. Rather than pouring the last bit into a glass, she picked up the bottle instead, polishing the last couple sips off in one big swig. “Yeah, time to look towards the road ahead,” she commented with a smile.

Even though it had been three years since Buck last saw her, he could tell from a mile away that the smile on her face was fake. It looked similar to the smile that she would put on when she promised their parents that they wouldn’t have friends over when they were out but then would immediately tell her friends to come over as soon as their car left the driveway. But instead of thinking about why she was pretending to smile, his tired mind narrowed in on her comment about leaving.

“Wow, so you came back for a couple days and you’re leaving me again?” Buck said, standing up, feeling like he needed to put some distance between him and his sister. Clenching his fists tightly, he then stalked over to where her bags were standing, picked them up, and dropped them angrily at the front door. “There, are you happy? Do you need me to drive you somewhere? Call you an Uber? Because obviously you can’t stand to stay any longer than you have to, isn’t that right?” Buck felt bad as soon as the words tumbled out of his mouth, his voice getting louder as he got more upset. But he felt even worse when he turned and saw Maddie’s reaction.

Maddie had burrowed into the couch, her chin and legs tucked in tight to her body. Her eyes were watery and her cheeks flushed, her whole body shaking slightly. And that’s when everything fell into place. Her sudden appearance, her unwillingness to let people know where she was….she was hiding. From Doug.

Buck’s anger turned to Doug for a moment, thinking about what he would do if he ever came across the man. But then he remembered Maddie. He wasn��t entirely sure what to do next, but he knew he needed to calm down, and quickly.

“I’m sorry Maddie,” Buck said softly, taking a few steps in her direction, but stopping when he saw her tense up at his movement. “What…what do you need me to do?” He asked, his head tilting downwards as he stared at his feet. He felt like the worst brother ever. He was the worst brother ever.

“I…I don’t know,” Maddie replied hesitantly, running her hand along the hem of her sweater.

“That’s fine,” Buck said quickly, and then winced at his overeager reaction. Shifting his weight back and forth, he looked around the room, waiting for her to say something more, but she didn’t. The silence dragged on and Maddie wasn’t looking any better. “Would you like some tea?” He blurted out, feeling the need to do something, anything.

At her nod, he rushed out of the living room and into the kitchen. He pulled out the kettle, poured the water, and grabbed his two favourite mugs from the cupboard, placing a lavender tea bag in each of them. But as the water came to a boil, he could feel his hands tighten on the counter, to the point where they actually started to hurt. A couple of wet drops fell on his hand. Unclenching his tight grip on the countertop, Buck shakily moved his hand to wipe away the errant tears, but more continued to fall, until Buck was silently sobbing, not bothering to try to stop. There was no point.

The kettle whistled, startling him. He carefully poured the water into the mugs, tried to wipe his tears with the sleeve of his shirt as much as possible. He didn’t want to hide his emotions from his sister, but there was a time and a place for him to break down, and this wasn’t it. This was about helping Maddie. With that reminder, he straightened up, and returned to the living room.

“Here you go, careful it’s hot,” Buck said quietly, passing Maddie her tea. He was relieved to see her reach out and take it from him, unravelling a bit from her uncomfortable position on the couch.

Carefully choreographing his movements, he slowly sat down on the couch again, but on the furthest cushion away from his sister. “Maddie, you don’t have to explain or tell me anything if you aren’t ready. But please, please stay a bit longer. I know it’s selfish, but I’ve missed you Maddie, and….maybe….maybe I can help you.”

“No, I’m not going to drag my little brother into this,” Maddie said with an accompanying shake of her head, sitting up a bit in her seat.

“Maddie, standing in between you and anyone who thinks they can hurt you is exactly where I want to be standing.” Buck said clearly, willing to fully stand behind his words, even if it was him who hurt Maddie.

“Everything is fine, Evan,” Maddie replied, shifting forward as if she was going to stand.

“Please don’t lie to me,” Buck pleaded, a slight crack in his voice as he leaned towards his sister, and then halted his movement, not wanting to seem threatening. “Maddie, I’ve grown up a lot, but I still need my big sister.”

Those must have been the magical words because Buck suddenly found his arms full of Maddie. She shook slightly in his arms, his shirt becoming increasingly damp from her tears. But Buck tightened his arms around her, tucking his chin into her neck, closing his eyes as he too, was overcome with emotion.

Maybe this time they needed each other.

#buckleysiblingsweekend2021 #day2 #evan buck buckley #maddie buckley #sibling relationship #protective siblings #alt ending to S02:E01 #emotional hurt/comfort #911 on fox

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