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bewaretheidesofmarchyall · 3 years

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POG ok so elevator pitch lesbian necromancers in space but theres so much more to it

the story takes place in a post nuclear disaster (probably?) Our solar system with earth being the first house, mars being the second, etc... to the ninth house which is pluto. In this world, necromancy exists. It runs off of thanergy (life i think) and thalergy (death i think) and its got three types: flesh, bone and spirit. Its not exacly necromancy in the normal way? But still. Also god is a real guy and his name is john and he used to have a buncha saints but most of them died and he wants more so he calls on all of the best necromancers from the nine houses and their cavaliers (knights, basically. they all use rapiers for some reason even though theyre like. Not Very Good For Self Defense) to go to the First House (aka Canaan... you see the religious imagery going on here) and our main character is Gideon Nav, a sarcastic butch lesbian who is our other mc Harrowhark Nonagesimus' cav. They are both from the ninth house who is basically a cult that draws skulls on their faces and worships a tomb with an unimaginable evil in it (the locked tomb... tlt... book title!) that must stay locked forever (i pray the tomb stays locked forever, i pray the rock is never rolled away). They are all bone adepts there and Harrow is the most powerful and also the reverend daughter so of course she goes BUT her parents the reverend mother and father are DEAD so she has to lock them away or something and let the planet die. ALSO she and nav hate each other but in an enemies to lovers way. So they go to canaan and nav has to take a "vow of silence" which is basically just harrow telling her to shut up. People get murdered it gets bloody and also all of the women are 😳 ok please dont read it if you get triggered by religious imagery graphic depictions of violence or like gross things ig idk i can compile a trigger warning list if you want but how does the book sound also its a murder mystery in the first book then ~weird and experimental~ in the second one but how does it sound

that sounds incredible

to be honest i was sold from necromancers in space, let alone lesbian necromancers in space

and then it got cooler

also i have very little issue with violence and/or religious imagery, i'm eagerly waiting for season two of the Silt Verses

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eternalthenas · 4 years

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what bothers me the most about tros and what i’m most unable to accept is how jj managed to destroy and disrespect EVERY single character. even the ones who technically had “happy endings”🤡

ben - i feel like this one doesn’t even need to be said, but i’ll say it anyways. after years of emotional abuse from palpatine, it’s disheartening to see that jj gave no explanation as to why palpatine wanted ben (personal vendetta against the skywalkers i guess??) when it semed like he only needed rey AND that ben never really triumphed over palpatine in any way. it hurts to know that leia straight up had a vision about her son’s death but that she still seemingly gave up on him despite knowing that he was struggling and that she sent him off to train to be jedi with a luke, when apparently she could’ve done that herself. it’s disheartening that luke who believed even vader could be turned back to the light also gave up on his nephew, when he was just a boy no less. it’s disheartening that although he was the last skywalker (a fact only palpatine acknowledged!), none of his family nor his namesake reached out to help him. instead of telling the last skywalker to rise, they ignored him (as they had apparently done his whole life) in favor of a palpatine. ok. even though as the last skywalker, he really should’ve been the one to have the final kill against palpatine since it was HIS family that palpatine destroyed, he doesn’t. he’s motionless in a pit for the whole final battle. ok. that will never not leave a bad taste in my mouth. his whole family (except for han apparently i love him) gave up on him and clearly so did the writers. as a fan of the skywalkers and their story, this isn’t the ending i wanted for them. especially when luke and leia and han had given their lives to see him turn to the light. and for what? so he could be used as a plot device to conveniently bring rey back to life and then promptly die (even though they’re a force dryad and, according to jj’s own fucking canon, supposedly one) without any fanfare, emotional reaction whatsoever, or later mention? wtf? it’s disrespectful not only to ben solo, who is easily the best character in the sequel trilogy and one of the best characters in ALL of star wars, but it’s disrespectful to the entire skywalker line!! (and to adam driver, who deserved so much better than this shit. go get that oscar)

rey - by making her a palpatine, jj completely disregarded her arc. whatever your opinions about rey nobody, once they went with it, they never should’ve retconned it and turned her into a legacy character in the final film. it felt cheap. in my theater, there was no cheering about this reveal. because jj had never properly set it up and he didn’t even bother to reveal it an impactful way. but what’s most annoying about rey suddenly being a legacy character is that it completely disregards the fact that she was powerful on her OWN, without any famous blood making her that way. furthermore, by turning her into the chosen one and giving her the entire skywalker legacy (which felt like a slap in the face to the skywalkers imo), she did turn into a mary sue, one of the biggest complaints about her since day 1. she was overpowered, morally perfect, and never faced any failure. i struggled to root for her as the “hero” because i felt everything was handed to her on a silver platter. so not only did jj turn her into a mary sue and take her power away from her by turning her into a legacy, but he also destroyed the fact that her whole arc had been “seeking belonging” and a family. rather than having her final scenes be with her new found family, she ends the movie with her canon soulmate dead and no one but a droid by her side on a desert planet of all places. to add further insult to injury, she also disregards her family name even though they supposedly loved her and sacrificed themselves for her (despite the fact that they sold her but whatever) in favor of a last name of a guy she had barely known. she had more emotional connection to han or leia, but she didn’t take their last name. she took luke’s, the guy who had refused to teach her and who she had come to view in a more negative light towards the end of tlj. in this house i will not EVER be calling her rey sky- i can’t even say it🤢

finn - in all honestly, they screwed finn’s character arc in episode 1 when jj turned him into a lovesick sidekick who served as comedic relief. as a deserted stormtrooper, he could’ve had the most interesting storylines. and he should have. but apparently the writers forgot about him. although they mention his past BRIEFLY, it’s paid no real weight or attention. instead, he spends the whole movie once again trying to (possibly) confess his feeling for rey. and for what? probably just to bait finnrey fans and prove the character’s heterosexuality bc it goes absolutely nowhere. although we find out he’s force sensitive, that too is glossed over and has no lasting effect. he’s also made co general, which okay cool, but then he does nothing?? so while finn could have and should have been a main character with an interesting storyline, they turn him into your average run of the mill action hero with an occasional quip. john boyega, sweetie, i’m so sorry (but i guess that’s kind of what he wanted since he hated tlj, the only movie where he actually had a main role with any character growth?? idk)

poe - it’s once again evident that they originally intended to kill off poe bc he has no arc whatsoever. he gets a little backstory as a drug smuggler now ig, which really came out of left field considering the already established canon with his past as a pilot. he’s more of the same in this movie, except more unlikable than usual (imo). he’s still stubborn, occasionally funny, but mostly he just bickers with rey, which isn’t funny, at all necessary, and doesn’t add anything to the “trio’s” dynamic. he’s at his best when he’s with finn but then, of course, jj has to remind us of how straight he is every single scene so. another character like finn who could have been great, but with the lazy writing, he has no arc, no backstory, no character growth, so he’s just mediocrity personified and just kind of there.

zorii & jannah - both could’ve been awesome. both are just there for a brief introduction and to help the heroes with maybe one thing and that’s it. both deserved better.

the skywalkers - yeah jj really said a big fuck you to luke, leia, and anakin most of all. the WORST part of tros is the fact that it basically makes the previous six episodes useless. anakin’s redemption arc? what does it matter now? he didn’t successfully bring balance to the force. he didn’t successfully kill palpatine. and now his entire bloodline is dead. ok cool😎 thank you jj!!!! what a hopeful end to the skywalker saga!!!! i love seeing that anakin failed and wasn’t REALLY the chosen one. i love that luke and leia gave their legacy to a descendant of the guy who tried to tear apart and terrorized their family. that’s really nice. i love that anakin NEVER reached out to help his grandson who struggled with the dark just like he did. but that he came in just in time to tell palp’s granddaughter to rise😍 really hopeful, lovely ending. thanks again jj! thanks for making leia seem like a bad mother who sees visions about her son but just throws in the towel and doesn’t really try to help him?? wtf??? not my princess leia. also tros luke? truly the worst luke. i really have no other words, i’m just disappointed. jj let me down in every single way possible and ones i didn’t even realize he could.

palpatine - jj also managed to ruin the best star wars villain, a feat i didn’t even think possible. palpatine had always seemed scary to me because of his inhuman qualities. but in this one, he’s back with no explanation whatsoever. he just is. he somehow managed to survive (ok🙄) and furthermore he had a kid. what in the fuck? jj clearly read harry potter and the cursed child, but he clearly also forgot to read the reviews. NOBODY LIKES IT WHEN THE PREVIOUSLY UNTOUCHABLE/SCARY VILLAIN HAS A KID OUT OF NOWHERE. NOBODY. i seriously spent the entire movie wondering who the heck would sleep with him? that’s it. he didn’t seem menacing or at all like a threat. this movie genuinely had no stakes whatsoever (that’s why ben’s death feels so out of left field bc literally for what?! but i digress) also the final “fight” where rey kills him??? very lame. he supposedly survived all those years to be taken out like that?? no thank you, i’d like a refund.

in conclusion, thank you to jj for ruining my favorite franchise by killing off every last one of my favorite characters, destroying the skywalker legacy (& killing them off), ruining seriously every character, and leaving me with despair!!! while i’ll continue to watch star wars without including episode 9, it sucks that some of my joy is zapped from my favorite series. because this is how future generations will know star wars. with this shitty ending. and any future movies will have this canon. and that really fricking sucks. thanks, i hate it.

anyways feel free to message if you’re also in the depths of despair about how this all ended!! bc the more i think about it, the sadder/angrier i get.

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sun-uwu · 3 years

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Vent time:/

Well it been a while and these are normally for myself since all the people that like them are only p#rn bots. As always it will be out of context:)

We've been talking since mid to late Jan. You're super nice and sweet but when you want to be. when we first started talking I loved it I really did. I fell pretty hard for you bc you are just my type. Tall, emotionally distant and glasses:).

key word "emotionally distant". You have anger issues its one of the few things I noticed about you. It's funny bc sometimes you'll come to me to vent about the things that made you mad that day. You do it bc you'll know I wont say anything and just listen to you rant. Like last time you ranted you called me and told me about some Krypto currency you put money into and how you accidently sold it. you were so mad bc it was at the highest price point its ever been at and how you impulsively bought it back with thinking of waiting for the price to drop lower so it wouldn't mess you up.

On that day we had a little miss communication about stuff. It was so dumb but ig to you it was just something and you were tired of me. I've told you multiple times I suck at affection. I love it but hate it at the same time. You got so mad bc I forgot to hug you before you left. I really don't know why you expect me to be like that all the time when you yourself are just the same. afterwards we made things up, were ok.

until a couple of days later you asked me if I wanted to take a break. I don't even fucking know what we are. I was so confused when you asked me. I thought things were going good till you brought up the fact both of us have been emotionally distant recently.

I should've said yes. I didn't though, I just left it on read till we could talk about face to face bc over the phone and through text I cant read your tone of voice or your facial expressions. I only ever base my final answers on other people. Honestly I think you hate that. in some sort of way its like lying.

your only ever doing that to avoid issues and it sometimes is never what you truly want to say. You really do hate liars. you've told me that multiple times.

I like you so much that I've literally told you about some of my traumatic childhood. all you said was " my poor baby ". I regret telling you. I feel like I have trapped you and I will use that against you. I did though put a love charm in you. Which yes ik is dumb but I really do like you and in some sort of weird way. you have become my new obsession.

There is so much more I could say about you. Like how when we first started talking I cried a lot bc you joke around to much and would say " we need to stop talking, don't even approach me at (?) " I cried so much when you did that. after the 2nd-3rd time I just went numb. I told you how that made me cry and all you said was " sorry I didn't know you would " but you also said t was cute how I cared so much to the point of crying.

Recently you've been getting more annoyed of me. which I understand everyone does at some point. I really do wonder if you actually do want a break from me. when I asked why you said it you said you didn't know but deep down I think you are bored of me. Just fucking tell me you want the break and we can finally rest. I get so tired of you messing with me. just please say you want a break so i can take a break. I wont though ill only ever say yes when you say yes. please just say it. I'm so tired and I want to sleep without having to worry if you still like me or if you're cheating on me.

Technically you wont be though bc I'm pretty sure were not even dating were just still in the talking phase.

I'm contemplating if I should say that I want a break and ill come back when I feel better. Ever since I started talking to you I feel like my mental health has taken a turn down hill. last year I was doing so well until Jan when I started to base all my things of you.

Its weird to me bc you've told me about how you used to cheat on all the people you have dated. I think about that a lot. I wonder if you talk to other girls and I'm just a lil charm on you little bracelet that you show off to all you friends. I've asked a few times and you have joked about it but always say I'm the only one. Its also so weird to me that you were the first to say I love you. at this point I cant tell if you really do or you just say it to make me happy.

Remember the other day when you dropped me off home but right before you did me and you sat in your car for an hour just talking. it was really cute and I really liked talking to you but idk something felt off. like you only did it so you could make a move on me. if so you should've. it was April 24th national r### day.

I guess you noticed something was off bc its 1am and you just texted me " if anything happens I just want you to know I love you ". wow you even said "love" not "luv".

God I really am tired of everything but I still love you.

Well goodnight and thanks if read all of this bs. I'm going to go watch p### and cry:)

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pastelbunn · 6 years

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personal tlj spoilery summary before i go to bed while it’s still fresh:

wayyyyyyy too much focus on rey and kylo............ like i ended up liking kylo as a character more but in a “he’s multidimensional but still a piece of shit villain” but was all that really Necessary? esp the 3/4 shirtless scene like WHY

THEY DIDN’T EVEN HAVE THE WHOLE TRIO IN THE SAME ROOM UNTIL THE LAST THIRTY SECONDS QASDFGHJKSWEDR;TLGY,KH

goodbye Hand Slicer...... you won’t be missed that much tbh

FORCE GHOST YODA FUCK YEAH pulling that chaotic neutral good shit like your little wrinkly elf self always does

he was like one of the only consistent characters lmao

poe “NO ONE IS EXPENDABLE” dameron would not pull that move and sacrifice the entire bomb squad for one ship???????????????? have you MET HIM he is absolutely NOT a “the ends justify the means” type guy what the hell was that

finn.................... my boy you were just doing ur best and i applaud you

disclaimer that i haven’t seen rouge one so i probably missed a shit ton with rose and all that but i rly rly loved her

“exploiting people and their resources is terrible!!!!!!!!! but the resistance also gets their shit from the people that do that too so....... who’s the REAL bad guy?”

not even sure why finn was so wide-eyed at the knockoff monte carlo that felt weird

speaking of, I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD to that redhead lady in the black-gold dress being the actual hacker like......... that whole ‘arms dealer grey morality’ was also so Unnecessary

also the necklace being the EXACT RIGHT SHAPE to short the circuit thing.... lmao ok

luke Nopeing tf outta there on every front was relatable

what was up with the weird milk scene

i liked the “obvious cash grab for cute toys” puffin things tbh

chewie was solid. poor guy still having to deal with skywalker shit

LEIA USING THE FORCE TO SUPERWOMAN THROUGH SPACE SAVED MY SOUL

crystal foxes were rly rly cool

ended up liking the “three potlines converge on one relatively low-stakes thing” take on the story. like yeah it was The Entire Resistance on the verge of dying at stake but like, instead of a death star they just had one pretty tiny canon to face in the end? that they didn’t even get to do the “shoot down the middle” bit with? those writers sure did love trope subversion

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE THEY LOVE??? light/dark imagery like the scene where rey and luke are arguing in the pool with the chamber and the way the light shines on them, or when luke and kylo are facing off....... bitch that’s my shit

ALSO the entire rey/luke dynamic was interesting. the part with rey feeling the force was what really sold me on them and got my dad and i to laugh because that is EXACTLY something he’d have done to me as a kid

sidenote that i love how rey’s still totally amazed by rain. another hard to find character consistency

also idk how to feel about luke even getting the Thought to straight up murder a child. like i’m fuzzy on the prequels but ig it was supposed to be a callback to when anakin Did murder a bunch of children for no big reason but luke stepped back from what could’ve been a huge mistake or the best thing for the galaxy. also ig if you’ve got The Chosen One / “atlas with the face of the galaxy/force balance on ur shoulders” bit lauded on you you’ll start to believe you’re responsible for Everyone’s Fate but that scene taught him different............ idk still on the fence but i can see their points

ah the good ol’ “you try to change fate but that just sets you firmer on the path toward it” trope

the whole death of snoke scene reminded me of when voldemort was killed in the books....... like we keep seeing him as this MASSIVE EVIL HOLOGRAM then in this dramatic ass throne room that SCREAMS EVIL and then at the end of it all he’s just. a weird flash sack of a man who can be cut in half like anyone else. he fell over dead and that’s that. idk i liked it

it’s 2:30 am now and i rly need to go to bed

but if you read all this ily and shoot me a message to pls discuss tomorrow

peace out

#pastel speaks #tlj spoilers #star wars spoilers #sorry mobile peeps

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