#but even then. i cant even remember that date ! so | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whiskey-tango-matcha · 22 hours

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Chatterbox (M, cold, 'drabble')

A little prompt-based fluff for you guys :) Reed and Greyson go out to dinner, but Reed realizes something is up when Greyson won't shut tf up lol. I'm loving writing this relationship, I can't lie, so sorry if it's too much Reed and Greyson lately - I'll get back to my other guys soon!

1.6K words (just a tiny lil blip of a story haha) CW: Male snz, coughing, fever, contagion mention. Hope you like it :)

Chatterbox

Reed looked down at his phone as he waited on Greyson, rereading the stream-of-consciousness texts his boyfriend had sent throughout the day.

Greyson

1:42PM

sooo pumped for tonight bb :)

1:56PM

should I wear a suit…? I know it’s a new spot but the website definitely reads ‘fine dining’, like fine-er than most of my clothes know how to be...

2:24PM

I think I’ll do dark jeans & a black button up. johnny cash style. cant go wrong w that. hahah.

3:17PM

I know ur working still but im just really excited to see you:):)

It was cute – borderline adorable – how nervous Greyson seemed for their dates, even after almost a year of the two of them being together. Reed had, of course, answered Greyson’s plethora texts throughout the day, but had tried to keep himself subdued so he wouldn’t give away his hand; tonight, he was going to ask Greyson to move in with him.

He knew it was a bit of a long time coming, but Reed was really trying to keep from scaring Greyson off by doing anything too quickly. His boyfriend certainly had a bit of past-relationship trauma that Reed tried valiantly to navigate; it was hard to figure out what the right time to do anything was. Sometimes, he wasn’t sure there was ever going to be a right time to push their relationship to the next level. But things had been good lately; like, really good. Tonight felt… right.

Greyson’s presence was palpable before Reed even saw him blow through the door. He looked up from his phone and clocked his boyfriend, standing out side the restaurant with his elbow locked over his face; Reed cocked his head a bit, confused. Was he… coughing?

The chef, clad in the Johnny-Cash-getup he’d promised, shook himself out before pushing the door to the restaurant open. He pawed at his nose with the back of his hand while asking the hostess to point Reed out – she gestured towards their table, and Greyson smiled when the two of them locked eyes. Reed waved, smiling back. Something was certainly… off.

“Sorry I’m late, baby,” Greyson said, kissing the top of Reed’s head before sitting across from him. “The fuckin’ train was running late again.”

“I’ve told you a million times I’ll come pick you up for dates,” Reed said, squeezing Greyson’s hand across the table. “You don’t always have to take the train.”

Greyson shrugged, smiled a little loopily. “I like the train,” he said, picking up his menu and squinting at the small font. “Lots of time to think. I’ve come up with my best dishes on the subway, I’m pretty sure; you remember that tart I made for the writer’s dinner, the one where we saw each other for the second time? Came up with that on the train. I was sitting next to this girl, probably a student, and she was eating one of those little egg tarts, the ones from the Japanese bakeries? I thought, damn I bet a root vegetable in one of those would fuckin’ slay – spoiler alert, it so did. Where would I have come up with that if not for the train? Plus, it’s one of the most sustainable ways to travel. I get my good karma for not actively killing the environment in. Win-win. What’re we eat – HTSHH! NXTSHH!” Greyson’s explosion of word vomit was very suddenly cut off to stifle two painful-sounding sneezes into the back of his hand.

Reed blinked for what was maybe the first time since his boyfriend sat down. “...bless,” he said after a beat. Greyson nodded, sniffled a little, and picked the menu back up.

“What’s this place’s thing anyway?” Greyson continued, flipping the menu over to look at drinks. “I can’t seem to figure it out; are they Italian? Mediterranean? Fine dining? Just high-end? No tasting menu, but prices are high enough to warrant one. Wine list reads very Italian, but there are like three dishes with hummus on them? I’m half-expecting to be served babaganoush bolognese. Which… maybe would work? Actually, eggplant, tomato sauce… I could see it working. You never know. Can’t judge a book by its menu, right? What’re you drinking? Want to get a bot -?”

This second monologue was cut short when Reed reached across the table to place a gentle hand on Greyson’s face. Just as he expected: hot.

“Babe,” Reed said gently, taking his hand back, “you’re burning up.”

The chef cast his glance down, embarrassed. “You weren’t supposed to figure that out till after dinner,” he muttered. Reed laughed.

“Seriously? You had to know I’d figure something was up. You’ve been monologing since the moment you sat down. Have you been sick all day? You should’ve told me, honey. How much cough medicine did you take before you showed up here?”

Greyson looked up at Reed and gave him a little half-smile. “Pretty sure I downed half a bottle of Robutusssin, not gonna liiii – hh! HhNXTSHH-ue! Huh-TSHH-ue!” Once again, Greyson attempted to stifle, to no avail. He allowed himself two painful little coughs before righting himself again.

“Bless you,” Reed said again. “I wish you would just sneeze normal, that always sounds so painful.”

“We’re in a restaurant,” Greyson said, a huskiness beginning to creep in to his voice. “That’s so gross.”

Reed rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Who cares? No one’s looking at us. They’re too busy with their many, many hummuses.”

A laugh bubbled out of Greyson, and with it came a flurry of congested coughs he directed into the sleeve of his shirt. “Don’t mbake me laugh,” he muttered, taking a drink of water. “You’re gonna get us kicked out.”

“Good,” Reed said, flagging the waiter. “I’m so sorry,” he said when the young, well-dressed server came to their table, “something’s come up and we’re going to have to go.” He handed the kid a fifty. “Thank you for your help.”

The server nodded, said thank you to Reed, and went to grab the two men’s jackets. Greyson raised an eyebrow, confused. “What’re you doing?”

“Taking you home,” Reed said. “You need tea and soup, not…” he glanced back down at the menu, “fattoush flatbread.” Greyson visibly deflated.

“I wanted to spend the evening with you,” he said, his voice subdued. “I’m sorry. I should’ve called and canceled, I just… I mbiss you when we don’t see each other all week. You’re always busy, I’mb always busy, it just fucking sucks. I don’t even know how I got fucking sick… oh wait, yes I do. Elijah had a cold last week – was that last week? Did I tell you that? I can’t remember. I think the servers gave it to him. Fuckin’ servers, I’ve never met a group of people who get sick mbore than theehh – huh! Fuck – HUHETSHHH-ue! Huh-! HhITSZZZCH-ue!” Greyson folded in half, his torso practically beneath the table in an attempt to keep the entire restaurant from hearing him. It was, of course, at that moment that the server returned with their coats. Reed took them silently, and stood to gather his boyfriend, who slowly unfurled himself from his own lap.

“Bless you,” he said, gently helping Greyson to his feet and slipping his coat over his shoulders. He lead the two of them past the host stand and onto the sidewalk, where he turned Greyson to face him.

“First of all,” he said, sweeping Greyson’s hair out of his eyes and caressing his cheek, “I know a subset of people who get sick more than servers, and it’s chefs. You and all your chef buddies are pestilence incarnate because you work nine hundred hours a week.” This prompted a little laugh from Greyson. Perfect, thought Reed. Break the tension.

“Secondly, yes, you did tell me that Elijah was sick, and I told you, and I quote, ‘Don’t get too close, I know you two love to share a cold’, but I know you don’t like to listen to authority, so not sure what I expected.” Another laugh. Greyson pushed his hair back, rubbed his nose, and pulled Reed in to hug him. Reed continued from this spot, pressed into Greyson’s shoulder.

“And thirdly,” he said, “I miss you too. All the time. Which is why I asked you out tonight.” He pulled away, reached into his pocket, and dropped a key into Greyson’s palm. “I don’t want to miss you anymore. I don’t want you to have to take the train from Brooklyn every single night, I don’t want us to hang out once a week, I don’t want to drop you at your apartment to take care of yourself. I want to see you when I wake up every morning. I want to hear you sneak in at three AM after you and Matt go clubbing. I want to take care of you, at home, when you’re sick.” Reed smiled, a little embarrassed, as Greyson stared at the key. “Move in with me,” Reed said. “Please.”

Greyson’s mouth opened, then shut without words a couple of times before he looked Reed in the eyes. “Yes,” he said, nodding. “Okay. Yes. Yes, please.”

Reed felt a smile bloom on his face, huge, goofy, unashamed. He took Greyson’s face in his hands and planted a kiss on his lips. Greyson held his boyfriend by the waist, then picked him up to spin him around. “I love you,” Greyson muttered into Reed’s mouth.

“I love you more,” Reed said, smiling. Greyson turned away then, suddenly to -

“HRRSHH-ue! HhhITSHZZCH-ue!” he sneezed away from his boyfriend, which prompted a laugh from Reed.

“Probably too late for that nicety,” Reed joked, elbowing Greyson playfully. The chef huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes.

“I figured sneezing directly into your face would probably kill the moment,” he said, sniffling. “But I’ll go ahead and just do it next time.”

“Oh, shut up,” Reed laughed, kissing Greyson again. “C’mon. Let’s get you home and in bed. Sickie.”

Greyson smiled a little. “Yeah,” he said, looping his arm into Reed’s. “Let’s go home.”

#whiskeyswriting #snz #sickfic #snzfic #snzblr #coldfic #male cold #male snz #idk idk they're just so cute i love a happy greyson #i mean i love an angry greyson too but it's fun to write something happy idk #im thinking my next big fic will be an elijah drama fest tho... i have IDEAS

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verdart · 3 days

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I made the unfortunate decision to comment on a tiktok saying

"Blitz has every right to doubt Stolas' intentions and I will di on this hill defending Blitz"

Which made me actually realize in the context of Stolitz how much the fandom vilifies Blitz.

Upon rewatch I realized that he is actually kinda innocent lmao. So here comes the rant hop on in Verda rants at 4am again train.

The thing is first of all we need to work our media literacy muscles. So Stolas stans who think he is a uwu babygirl that dod nothing wrong repeat after me. "Blitz didn't watch "just look my way", "owl in a cage" or any other Stolas longing scene that we cried over"

Now that thats setteled I don't want to hear any "he is trying" bs because as of now (pre full moon s2e8) he hasn't actually done anything that Blitz is aware.

Lets start from the top my initial comment was about how Stolas treated him for so long before actually catching the feelings and how Blitz has a right to think he is not genuine.

Up top lest start with the condescending pet names and I won't be hearing Blitz cant be mad at that Stolas does it bc he thinks he likes it... jesus okay s2e1 when stolas starts the imp dirty talk what does blitz do a) encourage him b) get naked and dtf bc that was hot, c) shuts him up

Ding ding ding C. Stolas can still take this as bedtime play sure but we have a case for Blitz not liking it from day one. Other than that we all know he views Stolas' (perhaps in his mind endearing) pet names as condescention.

Secondly even if we ignore the power imbalance Stolas is the one to suggest the transactional fucking... s1e1 even tho in the forst time it was Blitz's doing, sorta. So don't at me saying well Blitz just uses him for the grimoire, like girly duh that was the premise. But Stolas also uses Blitz. Imo lending a book vs fucking in payment is a bot excessive but for Blitz's case beggars cant be chosers.

Now to the elephant in the room... Ozzie's. Does Blitz invite him (Stolas) purely out of selfish intentions that has nothing to do with him? Yes. Is he a dick? Yes. But Does Stolas hide his fucking face when he has a reality check? Yes. But then y'all be mad bc Blitz pulled his hand back.

That night Stolas was read once, Blitz was like at least 2 times... if we don't count the stuff for Stolas by proxy. He was having a hard night bro. And after Stolas invites him he is like no and Stolas respects that. Which if the show didn't add s2e2 in between it wouldve been a perfect stepping stool to get the Stolitz on healthy communication territory but that didn't happen.

I cannot for the life of me pin point when Stolas genuinely falls for Blitz. If its from day one damn it took him long enough to understand what he was doing was wrong.

Anyways we as fans can't be mad at Stolas because we know he is starting to understand the absolute power imbalance he created and the position he left Blitz in. He has realized that the thing is lets remember and repeat "Blitz is not watching the show with us". Blitz doesn't know of this sudden change of heart.

Now to adress a few meaningful interactions we have after ozzies. The fucking pixelated phone texts from s2 western energy.

Stolas apologizes but in that way that I look down upon. "Sorry if" like girl own it up anyways Blitz brushes it off and Stolas instead just goes hehe I didnt care either. Yall need relationship therapy my god. Important thing is Stolas was trying to reach out. But instead of going anything I said that made you upset etc he could've actually apologize properly for getting ashamed. Tho Blitz should also apologize for inviting him on a date for his own gain but thats another bag of worms I won't open tonight.

Other than that he has put off seeing him and doing the transactional fucking for a while. During those times. And as we know from all the phones Blitz breaks after talking to Stolas and hearing hus dirty talk he isn't too excited about. We don't exactly know if he comes or not on those nights. But he is also showm to be quite comfortable in s2e2 with the "my dick is good but its not that good" comment so maybe they do continue the arrangement... idk. Either way we know they haven't really talked.

All I am saying is that both parties of this ship are guilty af of hurting eachother and taking advantage of eachother. But as the power house of this power imbalance, Stolas needs to be held accountable. And he is doing that now!! Or will, in s2e8 and I can't wait to see how that goes. Overall, I can see totally why Blitz shuts down any signs that Stolas might actually be into him. He has a good bunch of reasons too. And as far as we've seen from the trailer we will get to hear him say it out loud as he should.

#verda rants #helluva boss #stolitz #stolitz discourse #blitzø #stolas

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ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 2 days

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Reason 427890 I be aspec: I watched a clip of Nya and Jay doing their dance thing in prime empire and my knee-jerk reaction was wondering why they didn't invite Cole to dance with them or even ask him to teach them to dance because he spent years learning and he would make an awesome dance partner/teacher. Then I remembered they were doing the dance thing as a couple so they could be having fun together and that was basically a date for them and Cole would be third-wheeling and you know what it MADE ME SAD BECAUSE COLE CANT JOIN BECAUSE I THINK THEY'D HAVE FUN AND IT ACTUALLY MAKES ME SAD WHEN PEOPLE PAIR OFF BECAUSE THEY NEED TO DO THINGS ALONE TOGETHER INSTEAD OF WITH THIER FRIENDS AND |;A;/

#knox rambles #ninjago #im writing so i'll answer asks and stuff later o7 #angsting cole to cope /j i was angsting him anyway

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banjomelodies · 2 months

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Aw MAN tiktok mischaracterizes Scaramouche so much. Specifically as Wanderer (I sometimes see it with Scaramouche too).

(TW as I do mention abusive topics)

I've genuinely seen people go full force on the "oh, Wanderer would bully my whole team. Wanderer would be so mean! Wanderer—" and it's just. NO? Wanderer is a significantly mellowed out Scaramouche. If anything he wouldn't entirely give a damn about anyone he works with as long as they aren't ridiculously insufferable or take personal offense to what he calls brutal honesty. Instead of him literally physically harming or abusing the people who annoy him (like he would as the Balladeer), he just says a snarky comment. Like, I'm sorry, I don't think he's going to beat up your Freminet, or Mika.

Scaramouche is the type who would snap on one of them, especially since as the Balladeer, he saw little to no worth in humans (i mean come on, he turned on his two fatui agents in an instant when they said one thing that angered him. He was also implied a lot of the time to be an insufferable Harbinger). Wanderer is not the same. Wanderer probably still has a deep-rooted disdain, yes, it'd be hard to fully overcome something he believed in for so many decades, but he's well past taking his frustrations out on other people like that. He's literally trying to AMEND the horrific actions he's done. He wouldn't add more to it. Not to mention, he likely has a promise made to Nahida, who was willing to help him, to try his best to grow and change as a person, even if he doesn't think he can.

Now talking about Scaramouche in general, people amp up Scaramouches more toxic traits by twenty notches. Scaramouche is a toxic person. I will fully admit that. When I consider how lower Fatui agents act around him, he's definitely an awful person. But on the same hand, I don't think he'd be the sort who'd be abusive in romantic encounters. You're telling me, this man who was desperate for love and admiration and acceptance, would be beating and killing anyone who even dates him? Personally, I don't think so. I feel like he'd unintentionally be a bad partner. Perhaps saying things he shouldn't, or being distant, as he hasn't experienced anything positive or real since he was the Kabukimono. The Harbingers are all fake to eachother, so it's not like he's really used to having to be fully himself with another person. But I don't think he'd beat or maim his partners.

Maybe I'm blinded by my adoration for this character, but, I just don't get how some people look at him and go "Yeah that man would absolutely BEAT that traumatized teenager standing next to him for breathing the wrong way."

#genshin impact #wanderer genshin impact #wanderer #scaramouche #the tiktok portion of this fandom drives me fucking insane #ignoring all of the good edits and genuinely good headcanons. the TikTok fandom has the worst takes ever on characters .#its not even funny anymore 😭#i feel like they had to have played his entire interlude chapter with their eyes closed and game muted #this was a draft from a while ago so i unfortunately cant even find the original posts i looked at #but i remember the comment section of that tiktok having so many of these fuckers #please tell me im not the only one whos seen these people #(especially on some of the Scaramouche ones. i remember seeing so many “Scaramouche dating headcanons” a few times and its just. HUH???)

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iridescentis · 3 months

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i have to try so hard not to get upset when i have conversations with my family about love and sexuality because i know they will never understand anything outside of amatonormativity but fuck it hurts

being told that i will never have a best friend who will want to be with me forever because 'everyone will eventually leave because everyone wants to fall in love and build a family' just gets to me even though i know there are people who want that but it's just so hard to remember when no one in my life does

#are qprs really that hard to grasp??#there's also the thing where #i am the only aroace person i know who wants a life partner #so it's hard to remember there are people like me when ive never met anyone who feels the same #funnily enough one of my allo friends has shown me the most understanding out of anyone #don't even get me started on aesthetic attraction #the way i can't go nuts about beautiful women because people irl will assume i want to date them #no sir she is art #how do i explain that pretty people are the same as a cute animal or a flower to me #i cant because THEY WON'T LISTEN #im sorry im ranting im just deeply passionate about this #years of pretending my aesthetic attraction was romantic/sexual has driven me to madness #aroace #aromantic #asexual

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luhman16 · 7 days

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We're costco dads, of course we have our romantic date at the costco

#luh's drawings #art #drawing #rain world #rain world downpour #rain world rivulet #rain world spearmaster #rw dad au #im gonna be using that tag for better organization of my dad au stuff from now on #also i cant remember the ship name for them will look it up some other time im eepy rn #i thinm riv would go badonkers for costco it would become their whole personality just going to costco #in my dad au i think riv is dating spear and spear is also dating gourmand so like a triangle without the hypotenuse #riv seeing a pack of 560 individually wrapped almonds thats 5 cents less than buying them normally at the grocery store: OMG I HAVE TO BUY #spears just tags along and doesnt really understand why riv wants so many almonds even though they're allergic to nuts #riv has the like premium membership card idk what its called #every birthday gift they receive is just a costco gift card and they always get excited for it #rain world fishstick #rw fishstick #ok i found it uwu

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twig-gy · 5 months

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reblog if you forget every day that isn't the present and it all becomes a blur and you only remember the big important things and time becomes nothing to you and if anyone asked you anything about any day you would just be like. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#its such a pain like.................#ALL OF THE PAST IS JUST IDK #WHY #hey what if i wanted to know what happened in my life. hey what if #people will deadass talk abt big events that happened in my life and i remember. NOTHING #like this may or may not be tmi #but every so often ppl will talk abt my moms abusive ex boyfriend #and i remember NOTHING i want to KNOW BUT WHEN I ASK THEYRE JUST LIKE. THEY WONT TELL ME ANYTHING #GOD. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN MY LIFE. PLEASE #its all like a fucking timeline to me except i cant even date anything i dont know even that much #and with that guy. i knew nothing abt it i Trusted him.#he just gave me pocky for the first time and i was like :0 okay i trust this guy!#fuck

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handsomegentlebutch · 27 days

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My 3 little cousins were baptized today. "Triggered" is kind of a strong word but being in a catholic church again... I'm a little fragile rn ngl.

#butch speaks #it was hard not to shake as i held J over the basin to have the water poured on his head #when he was cleansed of sin. as if a little kid could ever knowly or intentionally offend a so-called loving god #the words came naturally to me #but they meant nothing #i remember when they used to mean something. when i begged gods forgiveness for my sin (being a lesbian) and tried to pray the gay away #i remember how much i wanted to die bc i could never truly embrace the sacred #i STILL deal with the complex of catholic guilt. its a very real thing. its hard to shake #i cant help but wonder if the catholicism ingrained in my brain is why i have a hard time with casual dating n sex #fun fact: there was a point when i was a teen that i got REALLY catholic #i prayed everyday. i talked to my patrin saint (st agnes) every day. i wantsd to become a nun #the thought of marrying a man mad me more sad than feeling like an alien did. so id marry the church as a nun.#not the way to hide being a dyke when ur fam is catholic btw LMAO #the first priest i knew was father joe. i loved that guy. he was so kind. friendly. briming with love.#he was one of my biggest references for what a good person was like #he talked about gods love a lot. how its for everyone. no one is exluded. ever.#he used to look right at me when he said stuff like that. a few other kids too. all of whom grew up to be queer #then father joe passed away. our church merged with another church. father jeff was the priest there.#he was kind but not as kind. he talked about hell and sin more. he looked at the same kids father joe did.#but the kindness in his eyes wasnt there.#that wasnt for us.#my family wasnt even THAT catholic #i went to church every sunday i did vacation bible school and catechism classes and youth group #i was an altar servant and in the choir #i even used to speak/understand a little latin #imagine how much worse id have been if my mom could have afforded catholic school lmao #grateful to have grown up poor in that regard #hm. actually... reading my own tags. mayne we were pretty catholic actually.#fucking hell.#i need to have lesbian sex in a church before god and everyone. mayeb that would fix me.

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sonknuxadow · 11 months

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overall i think movie sonic being redesigned was a good decision but sometimes i wish they had never done it with how annoying people are about it with the constant spread of misinformation about how/why it happened + this attitude people have gotten from it thinking they can get anything they don't like in a movie or show or game changed if they complain on twitter enough regardless of what exactly they're wanting changed or how close the release date is or what company is making it or whatever

#so many people who do not have the power to change whatever youre mad about #have been harassed in the name of bullying them into fixing it like we did with sonic. like what the hell #remember when people decided sonic frontiers was bad very early on and were harassing people who worked on it or were excited for if #and were like ''well it worked with the sonic movie so its ok !!!''. what is wrong with you people #also people saying it over things that just cant be changed #i remember like 3 or 4 months before the live action monster high movie came out people were making the sonic joke for the millionth time #even though filming had already been finished and a lot of progress was made on editing too #and the things theu were wanting changed would require restarting the whole thing #even though it had a set release date of october and they definitely wouldnt meet that deadline if they redid the entire movie #its not the same!!!! not everything can be a sonic movie situation!!!!#dont even get me started on people just lying about the whole thing being a marketing stunt #and im not saying dont criticize movies ever just stop pretending everything can be a sonic movie situation

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mercuryislove · 4 months

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man. I can't believe people like. fall in love lol

#remembered that it has been [redacted] years since ive dated or slept with anyone or had romantic feelings for someone at all #and im wondering if i will ever feel that way about anyone ever again lol #my heart is cold and dark and hard even though i am a romantic deep down.#i WANT to be in love with someone so bad but i have uh. a bad record and also i never meet new people #and let me tell you. there are not a lot of single gay girls in my age range here. theyre all like 19. no thank you.#NOT TO MENTION i am fucked in the head and honestly kind of not built for a relationship anyway #like i have war flashbacks thinking about how truly insane and flat out psychotic i became during breakups #but that's beside the point lol #the point is that i really cant imagine a future for myself where anyone will ever love me. lol.#i think i will be trapped in my lonely purple bedroom with this mismatched furniture and this finicky lamp all by myself until i die #and you know. it's whatever. most of the time i dont even care

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hella1975 · 5 months

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i have such a reputation that four separate people incorporated pringles into my birthday gifts. be that girl

#to the point my one mate today (the one i almost ditched in that seminar LMAO) ((WAIT I NEED TO TELL YOUSE ABOUT HIM))#anyway! he was like 'oh i actually got you something!' which given our dynamic despite RECENT DEVELOPMENTS AHEM #is so unusual like he was NOT required to get me a gift. but then i immediately was like 'it's pringles isn't it'#and he was just like 'sigh. yeah' LMFAOOOOO #and you know what? chuffed to utter bits. ive already eaten half of them in 24 hours. scranning even more as i type this #anyway back to that guy. so you know i sometimes mention my flatmate from first year who also happens to be on my course #so off the bat we've got a weird friendship bc he's not just a coursemate bc i also lived with him #but also first year halls were assigned not chosen so it's not like we were actually FRIENDS #especially bc my flat did NOTTT get on lmfao so me and him were mainly just. acquaintances who lived and studied together?#very strange foundation to have with someone. but we went all of second year barely staying in contact #and then this year we live in the same area and for the LIFE of me i cant remember how we got back in contact #but all of a sudden we were messaging every day and meeting up before lectures and sitting together in them and stuyding together etc #and we get on REALLY well like he has my exact sense of humour i know ive posted about him several times #over the past three years being like 'me and this guy are the funniest people i know' 'he would do bits on tumblr' etc #AND THE OTHER WEEK HE ADMITTED THAT HE LIKES ME AND WE WENT ON A DATE #AND IT WENT REALLY WELL BUT I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM #SO IM TRYING NOT TO PUT PRESSURE ON ANYTHING and i was super clear w him also that im not actively searching for anything #so if smthn happens organically then it happens but if not it's my final year and that will always take priority and he was super chill #so i dont feel like i HAVE to make a decision just yet but we're going out again tomorrow #and it's like. even if it doesnt become smthn romantic i just really click with him?? like we get on so well??? IT'S SO FUN #AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS! WOOHOO! pringles post derailed by a MAN. awful #hella goes to uni

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classicjdiesandgoestohell · 2 months

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its interesting when ppl start discussing the experience u have had your entire life and calling it transphobic and stuff 👆 like damn ive been telling people this for years and now im rethinking everything

#the thing in question is saying you like everyone but cis men #ive been sayin this for many years. i just dont. or maybe i do but its such an intangible thing id never date one idk #but i saw someone discussing how excluding cis men others trans women (dont remember exact) phrasing and idk #i kinda saw their point #i still feel like i like everyone but cis men tho #i have had crushes on n dated cis girls transmascs n transfems #i dated a cis guy once but it was very.. if u know me u know i have obsessions with people and those can happen regardless of gender #it seemed to be one of those #before and after that cis men haven't even been in the question of attraction #maybe the fact i have one exception proves i actually do like them or something i dunno #ive also had the dilemma plenty where i want to just call myself lesbian but that sucks 2 any trans men i like so. i go back n forth on that #but i like to have some sort of warning sign on me that says If You Are A Cis Man Do Not Even Try To Date Me #bc cis men liking me irl makes me GAG dude i fucking cant handle it at all #the cis guy i dated was online so like. i could avoid the gag factor i think #but idk #that experience made me realize i could never ever date a cis man again which is classic lesbian expetience 77292929 #it is not for me!#lucky strike

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brunetteaura · 7 months

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cant sleep tonight ive been thinking a lot about this the past few days and discussed it with my bestie for hours actually: can we really be sure that someone loves us when their actions contradict the sweet words they say and they dont contribute with anything good to our lives? ive been told by so many in my past that they love me (so quickly too youd be amazed) and that im so gorgeous etc but do you help me with things when im low on energy? do you come over when i need your support? are you making my life easier in any way? because now i can firmly stand on my feet on my own and i realized ive been quick to believe those words without stepping back and letting people show me their love with their actions because i was so thirsty for even the crumbs of affection that i acted okay with it. words barely mean anything to me now when theres no room for action. if not, then nothing in my life changes; whats there for me if you dont add any value to my life? honestly if all you can provide me with is words which is something so intangible and fleeting then i have the right to not treat you seriously. maybe if we were kids it could work but in adulthood that approach is immature to me. and this goes both ways so i try my best to show my love with actions instead of talking about it all the time bc there comes a point in which it only shows how lazy i am. imagine someone saying you can always come to me ill support you no matter what then literally not being there for you and ghosting you. of course you wouldnt think they love you and care for you

#a guy told me he loved me on the 6th date once. bro what am i supposed to do with that #didnt contribute in any way to my life whatsoever literally what was the point #this isnt even a personal attack on anyone but yeah i just think acting on your feelings is so so important #i read this phrase once: if love is all words and no action then its just poetry. not into that at all #just remembered that people would literally write songs and poems about me but not wanting to be with me? and make me happy lol #genuinely please be serious bc this cant be the love im supposed to believe in #if im just an object for you to admire and youre not ready to actually be in my life and act like an adult ill stay away from you #📝

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