#but i do like brocedes more than i have liked anything in my life ever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

leclerc-s · 3 months

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the blue - part nine

series masterlist // previous // next

ameliaholland triple header, you were amazing, time to go home for a while before vegas! p.s. i'll be performing for one night only in london on the 7th, tix on sale now!

tagged: oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, landonorris, mclaren

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username girl do you ever fucking rest?

↳ ameliaholland you know what they say, the devil works hard but amelia holland works harder

samholland1999 how soon are you flying out again?

↳ ameliaholland we fly out on the 9th...

↳ samholland1999 damn.. they're right you never rest

↳ ameliaholland wag life is not for the weak

username NEW MUSIC? A PERFORMANCE IN LONDON?

paddyholland2004 tell mum i'm old enough for the vegas gp

↳ ameliaholland sorry kid, you're not

↳ paddyholland2004 I TOTALLY AM! THIS IS UNFAIR!

username the random charles picture is so funny. like no context is given and it's my favorite thing ever.

username oscar's featured on this more than amelia on her page, and i don't mind it one bit

mclaren perhaps tickets for admin?

↳ ameliaholland keep sending the oscar pictures and you've got a deal

↳ mclaren will do ms.holland!

logansargeant boo! we hung out and not once is there a picture of me here!

↳ ameliaholland you said and i quote, "i look like shit, don't you dare fucking post those amelia!"

↳ logansargeant but you still could have posted one of me!

username i live for wag amelia!

username my favorite wags are amelia holland and taylor swift.

danielricciardo DO I GET A FREE INVITE!!

↳ ameliaholland OF COURSE, ANYTHING FOR MY 2ND FAVORITE AUSTRALIAN!

amelia holland added 5 people

max verstappen i swear if one of them is harrison i reserve the right to sic yuki on him

yuki tsunoda who am i fighting?

amelia holland it's my brothers, tuwaine, and z

daniel ricciardo i may just be uncultured but who's z? amelia holland zendaya? duh.

lance stroll sure just casually mention of the biggest actresses of our generation as if we should all personally know her.

lando norris to be fair, that is technically her sister-in-law. am i allowed to call her that? they aren't married.

tuwaine barrett why would you call each other max's biggest nightmares?

george russell he said we were. except for charles

alex albon they're in love with each other, they just don't know it yet.

logan sargeant sort of like pierre and yuki, although they know they're in love.

mick schumacher amelia, toto was hunting down the person who left a whoopie cushion on his seat.

amelia holland te-he. carlos sainz is next on my pranking hitlist. charles leclerc do i want to know why? amelia holland inexperience... daniel ricciardo i love this kid

amelia holland can't believe they were all bitching for a week straight to be added to this group chat and when i add them they don't answer.

zendaya amelia, do you ever fucking rest?

amelia holland sometimes but in my defense, i got nothing.

oscar piastri she just doesn't want to see harrison

yuki tsunoda that's the dickhead, correct? lando norris yes, yuki, that is the dickhead

tom holland i don't get what performing has to do with seeing harrison but okay.

amelia holland you’re a man, of course you don’t get it.

zendaya ugh men lando norris yeah, you girls tell him. amelia holland that goes for you too norizz

yuki tsunoda yeah fuck men, especially pierre

amelia holland speak your truth king! lando norris this is favoritism! pierre gasly what the fuck did i do? yuki tsunoda you know what you did dickhead

alex albon nothing will ever hurt more than the yukierre break up

amelia holland WRONG!! BROCEDES EXISTS alex albon true

amelia holland AHHHHHH

amelia holland SOMEBODY SEDATE ME!!!

amelia holland THERE'S NO WAY THIS HAPPENING

lando norris WHAT? WHAT'S HAPPENING??

zendaya NO WAY!! CONGRATS AMELIA!!

max verstappen what are we celebrating??

daniel ricciardo why is she so happy? what’s happening? did oscar propose?

tom holland now hold on! he hasn’t even met our parents! harry holland eh, as long as they don’t have a vegas wedding who cares? sam holland I CARE DIPSHIT!! oscar piastri i didn’t propose.

amelia holland GRAMMY NOMINATED BABY!!

amelia holland I, AMELIA GRACE HOLLAND, AM OFFICIALLY A GRAMMY NOMINATED ARTIST!!

charles leclerc CONGRATS AMELIA!!

lando norris LET'S FUCKING GO! THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND!!

tom holland OH MY GOD!!!

tuwaine barrett OH MY GOD!! THIS IS CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION!!

daniel ricciardo PARTY TIME IN VEGAS!!

ameliaholland not a whole lot going on at the moment

tagged: oscarpiastri

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tomholland IS THAT WHY HE TEXTED ME SOS AT THE ASS CRACK OF DAWN??

↳ oscarpiastri I'M SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BAKERIES IN THE AREA THOMAS

↳ username HE WOKE UP EARLY TO GET HER CAKE AND FLOWERS?? SHUT UP THAT'S SO FUCKING CUTE!!!

username CONGRATS ON THE NOMINATION AMELIA!!

maxverstappen1 i see i've corrupted you on becoming a cat parent

↳ ameliaholland oh shut up, it anything taylor corrupted me

taylorswift congratulations amelia 💙

↳ ameliaholland thank you taylor 💙

username she's and icon. she's a legend. and she is the moment

hazosterfield congragualtions

↳ ameliaholland thank you

↳ username usually in the past she would include a heart

↳ username she has a boyfriend. and some f1 fans are so toxic they'd accuse her of cheating on oscar based off of that

tuwaine this barbie is a grammy nominated artist

↳ ameliaholland tuwaine i swear i'm going to cry again

username not a lot going on? girl you're nominated for a grammy!!

danielricciardo congrats baby holland!

yukitsunoda i was promised a party

oscarpiastri proud of you 🧡

↳ ameliaholland i know, you've told me about 8 times already

↳ oscarpiastri just making sure you know

username what's the kitty's name??

↳ ameliaholland i, of course named her after a taylor swift song. her name is ivy. she adores sleep much like her father oscar.

↳ oscarpiastri lies. slander.

landonorris THAT'S MY FUCKING BEST FRIEND!!

↳ ameliaholland grammy nomination before your first win

↳ landonorris we are no longer best friends

taglist: @six-call @1nt3rnetgf @fernandoswarcrimes @skynel09 @arieltwvdtohamflash @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @woozarts @dear-fifi @tygecjjd @cataf1 @nothaqks @caipng @nataliambc @formulaal @lichterfee @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @hobiismyhopeu @melissayalene @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @nichmeddar @namgification @anniemae299 @octopussesarecool @jensonsonlybutton @ragioniera

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! let's ignore that the picture says gracie. we have to use our ✨imagination✨ the taglist for this story is officially closed, because i plan on ending this series soon.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

#leclerc-s #the blue series #formula 1 #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x female oc #formula 1 fic #fanfic #fanfiction #f1 #f1 smau #f1 fic #f1 social media au #f1 instagram au

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penaltyboxboxbox · 4 months

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whats stopping you from posting your omegaverse headcanons my king……do it

truly what is stopping me....ok my omegaverse assignments under the damn cut and honestly thank you to @wewentcarracing my fellow scholar who's own research has DEFINITELY influenced my own

Charles: this bitch is an omega. everyone is in love with him and he smells so good and is distracting to everyone in the damn room. we're going to question his abilities because of it too he will face anti-omega media bias despite the achievements of other omega drivers all of charles mishaps are blamed on the fact hes an omega

Carlos: alpha idc what you contradictory parties wanna say hes a big hairy alpha and hes proud of it. but hes like pretty well managed and likes to act like hes a lot more...idk wild during his ruts and stuff but like in all reality he keeps it together very well but just uses being an alpha as an excuse to hoe around.............is not mated to charles but like wants to be soooooo badly and like the way charles plays around it constantly makes him insanely whipped . as he fucking said it himself he wants to bite charles and has to control himself. ok.

Pierre: i cant decide honestly like sometimes i want him to be an alpha who has no self control and sometimes i want him to be a very ashamed omega. depends on the day and also what i'm assigning for esteban....

Esteban: He is either a beta or a really lame alpha..............i like him being an alpha making him super protective of lance but like THEY DONT LIKE EACH OTHER THAT WAY but like. maybe a little a esteban just too polite to lance to say anything. teehee. omega pierre x beta esteban is goated also. just saying.

Lance: OMEGA.............uses this as an excuse to always be laying down and being sweet and asking people to do things for him :) and they always do. also he has the most sweaty disheveled unwell heats ever and just generally reeks of maple syrup and pancakes

Fernando: alpha and he wont let you forget it. he stank. hes freaky. yeah. talks about it TOO openly. everyones had a taste too like can you blame them. guy who is also like slobbering all over lances neck in public theyre gross about it

George: I loooove George as an alpha who really dislikes the loss of control aspect of alphadom. As the wise sadie one said, george thinks being an alpha is terribly gauche. at the same time has his own cockiness about the fact he IS an alpha like he has his moments there......using his alpha privilege when it suits him but hating it when its not something he can use to his advantage or that might make him act a fool

Lewis: Beta who lets people believe he's an Alpha whos just so mentally in the zone and turbo vegan that he is able to remain in complete control of his urges and emotions. Gets testy when questioned about it its NONE of their business. Definitely does in fact really really want to be an alpha. (nico an omega btw just add this to my brocedes narrative)

Yuki: Alpha and proud of it. He's like writing alpha specific instagram captions.

Daniel: This man is THE beta ok. used to be self deprecating about it but now just embraces it. hes the beta they brought into the enclosure to keep max from becoming insane.

Max: an omega but like. weirdly ravenous one. he is breaking down omega stereotypes but like he's not even trying he's just a weirdo.

Checo: also an omega but hes like a tragically lame one when in heat. like this man is the king of the pathetic heat he wants to be led around by the hand and makes everyone around him feel bad for him. smells like orchids and carnations.

Valtteri: beta who is literally just chilling

Guanyu: reverse lewis, alpha who everyone thinks is a beta and he just lets them, doesn't want people prying into that part of his life. does not have a complex about being an alpha though and being around val keeps him w a cool head yk

Alex: Alpha.......knows he's a good one too like too aware that he'll get the job done and WELL definitely more than a little cocky about it and thinks he generally like. deals with himself well doesn't THINK he lets it get to his head as much as it does. HUGE flirt w like any omega.

Logan: Omega like what do you want me to say he spends every moment wiggling and whimpering and blushing like......hes an omega. he smells like he smells like fresh cut citrus and seawater 🫶😔

Lando: he's an omega but he smells offputting he smells like burnt sugar and monster energy. was like convinced mind body and soul he and carlos were a THING until the chussy lured carlos away and now lando is stuck being a little weird about it for all time he cant quite click w someone else and hes a weird mean little tease because of it

Oscar: Alpha who is soooooooooo incredibly chill about it. You wanna hop on my dick? ah. ok i guess. have at it. like this guy is not pressed about any of this shit

KMag: alpha but i have no strong opinion here i just think hes normal

Nico: alpha who smells terrible to every omega ever and can never find a rut partner and yearns for the hole but he just cant win

bonus seb cause i can: seb is an alpha..obvs w charles duh but ALSO was a freakish little alpha in his younger days who got off on being gross and contradictory + wonderful truly paired with beta mark with his absolutely massive complex about being a beta and snaps at anyone who tries to bring it up in regards to his behavior etc etc etc hotheaded beta and evil twink alpha who goads him about oh fuck me all you want youll never be MEEEEE oh i need it actually. anyways

THANKS FOR READING 🫶

#ask

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alexjcrowley · 2 months

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The thing about brocedes still living in the same building makes me wanna munch my walls because on one hand I am convinced they're basically playing gay chicken except the first one to move out of that condo is not gay but implicitly admits to be psychologically weaker so now the fight is not about who wins the championship but who can recover more swiftly from 2016 and pretend he's unbothered by losing one of the most meaningful relationships of his life, it's psychosexual and unbelievable and uselessly painful and nobody really wins so they're both fucking ridiculous, they really said after the most heartbreaking friendship breakup ever documented on live tv let's be a little silly let's prolong our rivalry to levels only reached by american sitcoms

On the other hand

On other hand it makes perfect sense. They're not gonna move out because moving out would mean letting the fight die which would mean getting out of eachothers lives forever. Because when the fight ends we can't go back to being friends so I'd be forced to simply leave you behind and I can't do that. Let's keep up the fight, let me keep us for a little more, out of spite if not out of love. Yes I hate you and I can't even say your name and I won't call you on your birthday but please let me pretend it's out of my hands if I see you in the hallway one morning and then I hide behind a door. Until we live in the same building I have an excuse to see you without admitting I want to. Without testing my pride to see if I had the courage to come to you when we had no chance to meet on the stairs anymore, because I don't think I would allow myself that and I know I would suffer tremendously for it. We can't be a part of eachothers lives anymore because I've hurt you too much and you've done the same, we can't go back, but please don't let me move forward. You won't speak to me anymore but let me at least see your face once in a while. Not on posters or tv or internet, your face, without filters and the perfect lighting, with eyebags and imperfect hair and anything other than the press-trained smile because that is- was my friend, the man on tv- I don't know who that is. And it's my home, my home, understood, you can't force me out of it like you forced me out of your life so you move first if you want to move but I don't want to. It's my home and you were my friend and I'll be damned if I let you take anything else away from me again. I can't bear you in my life and I can't bear you out of it. Let's keep things muddy and confused and ridiculous, let's not ever put an end to this. Remind me everyday why I hate you rather than go away and force me to think maybe I still care about you more than I have ever hated you. Do not let this heal, because who knows if one of us will ever have the courage to go back to this car crash to see if there's still something that can be saved. I will stay here, forcing you to look around before you leave your apartment and check the flight of the stairs to see if I'm coming up when you need to go down, like a monster always hidden in a dark corner, like a ghost I will haunt you. I will force my presence into your life, if not in your home, at your table, in your living room, then in the corner of your eye, in a set of steps you could never not recognise, in a shadow approaching the hallway. The hurt will persevere and so will the love, in this new wretched form. We swore we would always be at eachothers side, we never said how. No, I won't move out and I won't move on. Allow me to force you to do the same.

#brocedes #it's missing them hours #it's munching drywalls hours #it's hitting my head on the wall hoping the physical hurt will distract me for the emotional hurt hours #something something the love was there and all it did was make this worse #their whole *agitates hands in the air* resonated with me more than I would want to #I stay awake at three am thinking about them #Sophocles is rolling in his graves because he couldn't write a tragedy about them #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #f1 #formula 1 #long post

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loveyougoodbi · 3 months

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Hamilton to Ferrari and Charles Leclerc

I promised a post with my opinion on this move (specifically how it affects Charles) and honestly I'm still undecided but I thought it's best to sit down and put my thoughts in written form and maybe post later as well.

First of all, what my problem with Lewis moving to Ferrari was. Ferrari had gotten my hopes up in the few weeks prior to the announment in the sense that they want to focus on Charles and that they will give Charles the treatment he deserves. The news of the move shattered all that to pieces in my eyes. To me all it meant was that they are not planning to win the championship with Charles. They are again not giving him the support and trust he deserves. And that hurt.

If you read my thoughts when Charles signed the contract I kept saying one thing: this announcement has changed nothing for me. Ferrari has to prove to me that they are serious about Charles and that Charles' role in the team is the role they claim to have given him: a leader. There are 3 things that (to me) would make me happy about the contract extension and I will now look into each of them separately and how they relate to Lewis joining under the cut.

1. They have to give him a competitive car suited to HIM, not his teammate. ✔️

This is still possible. Charles is the undisputed leader of ferraris car development for 2024. That is more than clear now. 2024 (and probably 2025) cars will be done with charles' feedback.

However, 2024 and 2025 do not matter from a championship perspective. They are still Red Bulls year. And I find it highly unlikely that any team would be able to come close enough in these regulations to even fight for a championship with red bull. The year that matters from a championship perspective is 2026. The car that will be built in 2025 aka the year Lewis is joining. I'm not saying Lewis will automatically take over everything (charles IS ferrari after all) but it's also safe to say that having a 7 time champion with the rank and reputation of Lewis Hamilton would sway the cards to a more equal playing field. And this would happen for the car that matters. But Lewis is a great driver who can drive any car as long as its fast (unlike some people iykwim). So is Charlrs. So this is not a huge concern in terms of them having to slow down the car like they did in 2022. Check

2. He has to have a teammate that will not sabotage him ✔️

Listen im not saying Carlos ever sabotaged Charles but im also not NOT saying that. The impeding (frankly he does that to everyone), the preferable strategies, the purposefully trying to prove he's better (he's not), the whining on the radio, Silverstone, Singapore, refusing to help at any given moment. You get it.

I do not see Lewis (yes I know I called him half of brocedes just yesterday but I was in shock ok? Look away) doing any sort of thing like that to charles. Mostly because Lewis has nothing to prove.

Am I sad and dissapointed that once again Charles has to fight tooth and nail to get that n1 driver position? Yes. Would I have preferred Ferrari to give him a teammate aware of his role (the role being fighting for Charles)? Yes. Do I think Charles can beat 41yo Lewis? Yes I genuinely think he can. I still wouldve liked it if he had it a little bit easier for once in his life but we work with what we can get.

What will happen in 2026 if they are somehow competitive and the team has to choose who to help with the wdc fight? They will probably choose Lewis. Unless Charles is far ahead in points. I am still pissed that they made him have it so difficult and in the end he still might end up having to help someone else get a wdc. I will never not be bitter about this. But I'll move on cos I am not a bitter person (she said lying like a liar).

All in all anything is better than what he had the last 2 years (and probably this year) so I gave it a check just for the fact that it's not Carlos.

3. Ferrari has to want to do it with him, not anyone else. ???

This one im not so sure about folks. If this was true they would not sign the biggest name in the sport who is chasing a record breaking title. They simply wouldn't. A team that believes in you believes in you. They do not bring you competition. They bring you help. Like Christian brought Max help. Like Toto Wolff chased Lewis' help away in 2021 which ultimately led to Lewis losing (yes I do think he would've won 21 if Toto had not chased Bottas away when Lewis needed him most)

That leads me to my final point (more like a question): Why did Charles sign The deal if he didnt feel like Ferrari wants to win with him? I dont think he would do that. What if Lewis IS the help Fred is bringing Charles? I personally would love to see Charles and Lewis bringing Ferrari back to its glory days together. Lewis by bringing in the team and reputation, Charles by being a generation talent, Il predestinato my beloved. Either Ferrari lied to us (and Charles) or Fred is COOKING!!! Honestly now that we're in this, it all comes down to: I'm just waiting and seeing what will happen and I trust Charles immensely which means I also trust him to leave if he doesn't feel like his dream is being taken care of. That is it.

#f1 #charles #f1 analysis #honestly when i started writing this i was way less positive than by the end of it #if you ever have difficulty processing something just sit down and write it down #i know reading it from someone else is encouraging but nothing is better than coming to a conclusion on your own #frankly now i cant wait for what 2025 and fred and charles have in store for us in the future #charles leclerc #lewis hamilton

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mickstart · 3 years

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what do you think are some iconic/memorable schumi moments? i just got into f1 and would like to know more about him bc somehow i can’t really find anything like that about him.... just stats which are incredibly impressive but i can’t find anything about how he behaved or just anything about his personality..... thanks <3

:) Hi anon, thank you for unleashing the beast.

Ok I love you for asking me this thank you SO MUCH. Welcome to the circus I’m glad you’re here! Also yeah, Schumi is often talked about in terms of statistics and not as a human, Which is a shame bc like! Schumi is fascinating and the dynamics on the grid in late 90s F1 is so much fun! Also, this is mainly going to be late 90s -> early 2010s stuff bc I was born in 98 so uhhh I didn’t properly witness ANY 90s stuff and had to learn about it.

OK so I got super carried away but I’ve divided this into 3 sections: Drives/races that I think showcase some of his talents, human moments we need to talk about more, and Chaotic Little Bitch moments. The key thing to remember w/ Schumi is that he personally tends to be nice but as soon as you put him in a competition, Bastard Mode activates like a cat’s pupils going wide.

I am so sorry for the following short essay. Also some crashes are briefly mentioned but only ones with absolutely no injuries and there’s no details.

Chaotic Little Bitch Moments

Schumi debuted as a SUBSTITUTE driver for Jordan when one of their drivers was in police custody (yes. really.) The highest a Jordan had qualified all year was 10th and in his DEBUT at SPA, one of the toughest tracks, in the middle of the season, Schumi qualified that Jordan 7th! THEN his clutch failed before the first lap was even complete, but Benetton and Jordan WENT TO COURT to fight each other to sign him for their team before the next race in Monza. He couldn’t debut normally he HAD to cause a scene and set the tone.

The Red Strings of Fate: He qualified 7th, his iconic 7 starred helmet, his first victory next year was ALSO at Spa - his first complete race would be at Monza, Ferrari Holy Ground, and he finished 5th which 👀 1) he was immediately racing with The Greats. 2) Mr 5 Championships With Ferrari.

Winning a race by taking a stop and go penalty on the last lap, crossing the finish line in the pits, and making such a complicated argument about said penalty that in a hearing that was SUPPOSED to be Mclaren protesting the race result the stewards scrapped the entire penalty and the 3 who awarded it handed in their licenses??? Iconic.

Austria 2002 where Rubens was ordered to give the win to Michael. And then Michael fucking made him stand on the top step on the podium like “oh no no no RUBENS deserves this” and made a big SHOW out of it and its like “Michael stop you’re not making it heartwarming you’re making it WORSE Michael STOP” The Tension of germany 2010 podium VS the theatricality of THIS podium.

Team orders were banned because of this which also makes this indirectly responsible for Fernando Is Faster Than You having to be a coded message. You can’t escape him,

Blocking Alonso in Monaco qualifying and then, years later in 2010, overtaking Alonso technically illegally at Monaco (the race was ending under safety car, but the safety car doesn’t lead them over the line it pits and they’d crossed the safety car line and the regulations were NOT specific about the rules) and getting a 20 second penalty bc Damon Hill was a steward. Haunting FERNANDO specifically at Monaco like the ghost of christmas past? Getting a harsh penalty because ANOTHER driver he’d fucked over was a steward? Forcing the FIA to rewrite the rulebook to account for his nonsense when he was in his FOURTIES? I don’t know another chaos king.

Winning the 1995 championship by crashing into Damon Hill, getting AWAY with it for some reason, and then trying to do the same thing in 1997 to Villeneuve, failing to do so and simply rebounding off of him harmlessly, almost COMICALLY, and beaching his own car in a gravel trap at which point the FIA said “I have had ENOUGH of you Wacky Races Man!” and disqualified him from the entire championship

Forcing Mika off the track so bad at Spa 2000 that Mika realized the only way he was gonna be able to get past him was to re-invent the overtake and go for it whilst they were passing a backmarker. (The overtake itself is at 2:05 in the video but the build up to it is Important bc the key part it’s not just badass, it only happened bc Mika knew who he was dealing with.)

Spa 1998 was a Ridiculously Chaotic race it truly was the Mugello 2020 of its year, and after a crash at the start that took out almost the entire grid Schumi accidentally collided with Coulthard later in the race. (The teams used to have a spare car at every race then, so the race was able to continue after a restart.) This wasn’t a racing thing, Coulthard was getting lapped. So something in Schumi SNAPS, and he storms down the pitlane and tries to fight Coulthard while the mclaren and ferrari mechanics both hold him back and finally drag him away. He projected into the future, saw Coulthard was gonna talk non-stop shit about Seb, and acted accordingly.

Monaco 2012 Pole don’t talk to me about this I still can’t believe the audacity of this man to get the only pole of his comeback, at MONACO, at the ONE RACE where he had a 5 place grid penalty to take!!

In general, I know Cheating Bad but. I HAVE to admire the brainpower it must take to have the rulebook so memorized that whilst driving an F1 car Schumi could spot a loophole the size of the eye of a needle and then dance through it, forcing the FIA to add ANOTHER page to the rule book specially for him bc nobody else even REALISED that loophole existed.

Human Moments

A quick rant about Mika and Schumi’s entire friendship. After Spa 2000 Mika goes up to Michael, says something like “Don’t ever do that again” then they’re friends again. They had this mutual understanding that Racing was not Reality. This goes all the way back to their F3 days they were rivals AND friends for their entire career. They truly were the Sewis of the era if Sebastian was like 50% more evil. Their entire dynamic is “You’re the only motherfucker in this pit lane who can handle me”. Schumi would do some bullshit and every other driver would throw up their hands in frustration and Mika would just go “Okay” and drive better to put him in his place bc he was the only one who could keep up, and Schumi very visibly LOVED that he’s grinning after Mika owns his entire ass with that overtake at Spa. They were unstoppable force meets immovable object and I’m so sad their rivalry isn’t more talked about bc the way Mika is the only driver who can get him to behave like a normal human being is SO entertaining.

This is a sad one so I won’t link it but he started crying in the 2000 Monza press-conference with his brother and Mika when he equaled one of Senna’s records. The press kept trying to ask questions about it and Mika just has this death grip on his shoulder and tries to get them to stop or let them take a break and it’s so sad but also important to know about.

Once said he didn’t want Mick to race in F1 bc the pressure of his name would put Mick under so much stress and he wanted his son to be happy. (He fully supported Mick in his endeavors! But only after making absolutely sure it was what Mick wanted, and making sure he knew he could just race for fun if he wanted and it didn’t have to be F1)

This whole interview just after Mick was born with the Schumacher family. Special shout out to Gina on his head the entire video and also Corinna talking to the press while Michael is captivated by Mick. Me too Michael.

Once allegedly pleaded to take a stray kitten home from the track?

I reblogged this yesterday but. Sticking like glue to Sebastian at an F1 test and immediately being like “This is my new son he’s gonna go far”. There’s a lot of pictures out there also of Michael being a guest at the karting races Seb went to as a kid and baby Seb visibly losing his fucking mind at being given a trophy by his idol. Every day of my life I think about him trying to ruffle Seb’s hair through his helmet at Brazil 2012

WInning the championship in 2000. Him thanking the entire team individually and pausing mid-celebration to kiss his wife Corinna so tenderly it’s in the F1 opening. Also, the way it literally cuts from the rest of McLaren looking like they’re attending a funeral to Mika grinning at him and hugging him fucking SENDSSSSS me.

Schumi was a little shit in all the 2010-12 press conferences like, lowering Lewis’ chair, playing with a microphone wire, but ESPECIALLY corrupting baby Seb and getting him to mess with Nico Rosberg.

He’s just GOOFY! Like I refuse to let him be remembered as a terrifying force of nature he was so goofy kind of similarly to Seb. PLEASE watch this incredibly awkward interview he did with Coulthard on a golf buggy where they both had to pretend they hadn’t thought about murdering each other at least once. I think Sky F1 should force Brocedes to do this when covid’s over. “Do you mind if I drive?” “Yes.”

EDIT: I CANNOT BELIEVE I forgot the 1999 Canada press conference where Eddie Irvine and Mika Hakkinen get into a water fight and Schumi immediately grabs a towel and hides behind it and is like “I had NOTHING to do with it” 🥺 adorable, actually

A lot of people at Ferrari, including Rob Smedley (who was on the other side of the garage with Felipe Massa so not in his inner circle) have said that a lot of the success of the team came from Schumi’s LEADERSHIP more than anything, that he’d make the team get together to bond all the time. When Schumi moved to Ferrari in 1996 they were NOT dominant. He did the same thing Lewis did - went to a team that everybody said would be a huge mistake and helped build them up behind the scenes.

THIS bit of the Canada 2011 Rewind where his engineer gives him the strategy and he’s like “... OkaAaAaAay?” and then when it turns out to be the wrong strategy he cheerfully tells them it’s too late. Little shit.

Speaking of Mercedes I also wanna say that like. They were a MESS in 2012 and his car DNF’d because of a failing on their part MULTIPLE times. (In Canada qualifying his DRS was stuck open and they couldn’t close it.) He did not say a single bad word about them EVER even though the press used this to attack him non-stop as washed-up and bad without Ferrari to cheat for him. At Ferrari he was the exact same with the team, any bastard antics Schumi had for his rivals did not extend to the engineers and crew.

OK this one is soured bc Top Gear is trash BUT if you were like, a kid in England who followed motorsports? Schumi’s fake reveal as The Stig on Top Gear was like the coolest, sickest thing,

Please view this image of Schumi and Mika when they were young and stupid

Iconic Races

ok so I have limited myself to a few races that show off some of his key strengths!

Hungary 1998 / France 2004 - STRATEGY/SPEED - Schumi switched to a 3 stop strategy in 98 and a FOUR STOP strategy in 04 and won both races. In order for the strategy call to work he’d have to basically make every single lap a qualifying style ‘flying lap’ and you best fucking believe he DID THAT. God I fucking miss when Ferrari was the king of strategy.

Argentina 1998 - has it all. Talent, battling Mika, pit lane mind games with mclaren, and bullying coulthard xxx

Spain 1996 / a majority of the wet races - RAIN - One of Schumi’s nicknames was Rain Master bc he was so fucking good in the wet. If it started raining and you were a Schumi stan you were cackling evilly before the red lights even went out. I single out 1996 bc it was his first win for Ferrari and it was unexpected but in most wet races, even Canada 2011 post comeback, you can see Schumi thriving.

Malaysia 1999 - Schumi missed pretty much the entire second half of the season with a broken leg, came back for the last 2 races with everybody murmuring about whether he would struggle, and immediately put the Ferrari on pole. Also worth noting is that he was the number 2 driver for these 2 races bc his teammate Irvine was fighting Mika for the championship and he went along with that without complaint, allowing Ferrari to win the constructor’s championship if not the driver’s.

Monza 2002, 03, 04, or 06 just because it has the energy of the tifosi kneeling at the feet of an idol to their red god.

Brazil 2006 - Fuck All Y’all - Schumi’s last race for Ferrari. He got a puncture and ended up almost lapped, and then drove his way back from that to 4th bc he couldn’t go out without reminding us he’s a bad bitch.

Monza 2012 - Defending - Don’t tell F1 Twitter that there’s actual footage of Lewis and Michael having a genuine lengthy battle on track but DO watch Michael defending like a motherfucker and Lewis breathing down his neck for half the race we need to talk about this more.

Valencia 2012 - This isn’t necessarily anything special but I cried in my living room over the only podium of his comeback so it goes on here. It doesn’t have the same impact if you haven’t been watching him struggle with the car for years, DNF-ing from car failure most of 2012, and having BBC F1 telling you he’s washed up every single weekend, but you can just enjoy one of the best drives of FERNANDO’S entire career as he DRAGS that Ferrari by its hair to a home grand prix win and then watch the crowds embrace him like jesus and also Schumi being happy on the podium. Also, the very start of this clip from the press conference: him forgetting what language he’s supposed to be speaking

Basically, Schumi was a hyper-competitive ambitious bitch who turned into a goofball as soon as he switched the engine off. This is by NO MEANS everything if I was making an exhaustive best races guide I’d do more research and another post but I hope this is what you were looking for?? THANK YOU SO MUCH for letting me go MAXIMUM SPECIAL INTEREST and I apologize.

#asks #Schumi #Mika #Alonso #long post #god I'm so fucking sorry #Anonymous #This is not comprehensive bc I didn't want to accidentally turn this into a whole research project especially if you're new to it!

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