#but iba took over for a little while

[sabraeal]

If the Mind Is Willing, Chapter 2

[Read on AO3]

A million years ago (2018), I held a raffle to celebrate having 500 followers, and @bubblesthemonsterartist​​ was the winner of the grand prize-- five fics of her choosing. These and the other winners were all supposed to have their fics post in 2019, over the 12 weeks I was taking off after I had my second son. Unfortunately, MANY THINGS OCCURRED, and now I have finally, FINALLY made it through all my backlog to grant Joanna her wishes. And this was her first request, because I left her BOY in the SNOW on her BIRTHDAY 🤣

Gray light filters through her sheer curtains, hesitantly washing over her room as if it would hate to impose. It has none of the determination of the winter sun, muting pastels into something just shy of monochrome, like a reel of film left out of its can to age. It’s...nice. Cozy even; the perfect weather for a day where there’s no classes to rush to nor study sessions to sweat through, no place to go nor person she needs to be. She’s just Chizuru, and for a moment, that’s enough.

It never lasts.

Her phone vibrates across the bedside table, tooting and carrying on until it bumps into the lamp, buzzing angrily at the inconvenience. It’s barely a breath’s worth of fuss, but Chizuru flops over, brushing her fingers over the screen like touch might soothe it. Or at least, she tries-- the sleeve of her sweater’s slumped, making paws where fingers should be.

Chizuru blinks, but sleep clings stubbornly to her lashes, making the world bleary and indistinct. It takes a good rub to get them clear, wool scratching where she can’t shake away her sleeve, and--

And this is Father’s cardigan, the one she’d kept before everything went into storage. He might not be a large man, but it’s too big for her by far; she wears it around the house when she’s got a craving to be cozy, but it’s not meant for bed. Even now it’s knotted up in the blanket, toggles tangled in the crochet, tugging in places never meant to give.

Her hand hovers, a flinch away from one of those knots. “This isn’t my blanket...?”

Not the one she sleeps under, at least. No, this is a throw, one she keeps across the room on her desk chair for when the little space heater beneath it manages to serve better as a footrest. And when she moves it aside--

Oh my, those are her jeans. The same ones from yesterday, along with the worn T-shirt she changed into after Yamazaki--

“Yamazaki,” she gasps, scrambling for the phone. It takes shoving her sleeves up past her elbows, but she scoops it up, cradling it in both her palms. Oh, how she misses her tiny flip phone, even if Shinpachi called it dinosaur technology; at least then she’d been able to hold it and type at the same time. Now she just has to swipe with her thumbs, hoping it’ll rouse enough to show the home screen.

It flickers on, reluctantly informing her that it’s 10:24 am, and she has a blast email from the university, one that reminds the student body to drive safely and make good decisions over break. There’s also a text from Sen, one that starts, busy now but we can drop by after xmas 🎄, and below that--

[Susumu Yamazaki] Arrived at my parents. Hope I didn’t keep you up. Sleep well.

Chizuru groans, forehead dropping to her fists. After that whole production about him checking in, and she couldn’t even do him the favor of staying awake long enough to appreciate it.

[Me] Oh please don’t worry about me!! I fell asleep waiting 😂

It’d be silly to wait for him to reply. Her phone slips from her fingers, cradled by the crochet slung between her legs. If she was asleep before he got in, it would only make sense that he was still--

[Susumu Yamazaki] Must have been pretty tired. I only live 20min out.

[Me] You must have taken longer than that! It’s 20 min under regular driving conditions but there was all that snow

There’s a long pause, long enough that Chizuru pecks out, Right?, fingers hesitating over each letter. Her thumb’s hovering right over SEND when the phone buzzes, screen scrolling up to read:

[Suzumu Yamazaki] Almost called last night but glad I didn’t. Looks like you needed that sleep :)

[Me] Oh no don’t worry!! I wouldn’t have minded!! It would be nice to hear your voice

“Oh!” The phone jolts from her fingers, shock making even the rubber case sear. That’s what she gets for typing too fast for her brain to catch up; sure, it had sounded so nice in her head, but now that it’s out in the cold hard reality of text...

It’s too much. Like she’s trying to-- to--

Susumu Yamazaki is typing...

“Please don’t,” she moans, slapping her hands over her ears. “I didn’t mean it! I mean, I did, but not in a weird way. Ugh.”

The message disappears. No, flickers, on and off, until it finally settles back to a steady, Susumu Yamazaki is typing...

There’s no reason for him to take that long to reply, not unless he’s trying to find a polite way to say, you’re being really weird, or maybe, is there something wrong with you?

She can’t watch. Mercifully, the screen flicks off. It may not change the fact that he’s writing a scathing dissertation about her poor socialization, but at least she doesn’t have to witness it.

It does, however, display, [Hachiro] eta 30min

“Wh-what?”

Her fingers fumble across the screen, never quite managing to slide up enough to get it open, not until she picks it up in one hand and shakes. It shouldn’t work-- percussive maintenance only works on machines with cogs and springs, Saito has told her too many times to count, not computer chips-- and yet, here she sits, staring down at a string of texts timestamped twenty minutes ago.

[Hachiro] good morning chizu! mom has me out running her chores today 😒 but looks like some of them are going to take me past your place maybe if i have time i’ll swing by your place been a while since we’ve been able to hang out 😄 k all done eta 30min

“Oh,” she breathes. “But what am I going to do with Souji?”

When Chizuru had first moved in to the house, hair shorn and clothes baggy, hoping that her compression bra could do the heavy lifting when it came to masculine body shapes, the doorbell had been a stately sort of tune. Bing-bong ding-dong, the mark of a Real Adult entering their home, like Professor Hijikata, or sometimes even Dean Kondo.

Westminster chime, Shinpachi told her, with so much confidence she could only stare. What? I can know stuff. They used it at my school.

Private school. Souji tossed his hair out of his eyes. Fuckin’ prep.

Hey! Shinpachi’s a big guy, only a few inches shy of Harada and twice as wide in the shoulders. But even still, he can shrink so small, folding in on himself like a sulking child. I don’t think there’s any need for-- for hurtful language.

Harada only snorted, Rich kid.

Either way, she’d liked that one. Sure, it went on a little long, and if they got multiple packages in a day the halls started to feel a little cloister-like, as if she’d really been sent away to a nunnery the way Father used to tease. But at least when she answered the door, people looked impressed, or at least impassive.

That is not the chime that rings today, though.

“I didn’t even know they made doorbells with that,” Harada mutters from under his covers as she sprints past, tearing the towel from her head.

They don’t, Chizuru’s pretty sure, but she doesn’t have the breath to reply, or even curse Souji’s ability to turn even the most innocuous objects into landmines. No, she only has enough to manage a shrill, “I’ve got it!” before pounding down the stairs, hoping she can move quicker than Souji’s sense for chaos.

She flings open the door, wet hair stiffening in the cold, and there is Hachiro, perfect as always, a smile already dawning on his handsome face.

“Morning, Chizu.” He lifts a gloved hand, shaking the snow from his lazy curls. “It’s good to--” Hachiro blinks-- “is that ‘Through the Fire and Flames?’“

“Sorry to make you rush.” Hachiro toes off his shoes-- boots, really, by their treads, but they still look nicer than anything else on the tray-- not dripping a single drop of slush onto the floor. “You’re usually such an early riser, I never thought you’d still be...” He hesitates, clearing his throat. “...In bed.”

It’s silly to blush, but she does, ducking her head against her shoulder. “I was, um, up late last night. Not for bad reasons! Just, er, dragged my feet getting to bed.”

“It’s quiet in here today.” He steps up beside her, his elbow giving hers a playful bump. “Are we alone for once?”

“Er...no. Harada’s in bed, last I checked.” She’s not really sure he knows there’s hours before noon, but that’s not what Hachiro’s asking. “And Souji is, um...around, I’m sure. Somewhere.”

His mouth twists, but it smooths to handsomeness so quick it’s barely more than a trick of the eye. “Good thing I brought breakfast, then.”

He holds up a bag, glossy and bright and oh-so pink, the logo cute, if unfamiliar. “Mom had me go into town today, and it took me right past that new pastry place. The one that used to be Mastudaira’s?”

“Ah, that one! It’s...Meiji now?” She pushes up to her toes, peeking through the handles for a glimpse of wax paper  and crackled crusts. The reality, however, leaves her disappointed; instead of vanilla cream or cinnamon custard, she just sees...cardboard. Sleek, branded cardboard with pink ribbons wrapped around it, but still, she settles back on her heels underwhelmed. “Let me go get some plates. Maybe even a knife, or um, forks?”

Hachiro’s dimple deepens, smile tugged to one side. “Hands should be fine, Chizu. They’re not that fancy.”

“Oh, er, right.” Her cheeks burn as she pads past him toward the kitchen. “Just plates then.”

She expects him to duck into the parlor; the front one is typically where guests drift toward, the TV and sectional conveying entertainment area without the undeniable frat boy aura of the back parlor’s pool table and darts. But instead, Hachiro follows her into the kitchen, settling the bag on the counter as she drags out her step stool.

The cabinets aren’t terribly high-- if she stands on tip-toe, she can even reach the lower shelf with only the smallest tweak in her shoulder. It’s just that the top one, or well, either of the middle ones--

“Do you want me to get them?” He steps up behind her, close enough that she can feel the chill rolling off his skin, even through his sweater. “I don’t mind, you know. Must have these long arms for a reason.”

“No, no,” she assure him, getting one knee up onto the marble. “I can get them. Please, take a seat. We can--” ah, is it awkward to ask if he want to go to the parlor now that they’re already here? Would that seem pointed, like she’s insinuating he did something wrong, or-- “pick wherever you’d like to sit. I’ll be down in just a moment.”

His jaw sets, the way it used to before he’d start a scrap with one of the neighborhood boys, but instead of resorting to a full nelson to get his way, Hachiro simply steps back with a sigh. “If you say so.”

I’ve been small my whole life, she nearly tells him, I think I know how to manage it by now. It’s the sort of thing nine-year-old Chizuru would have said, puffed up and proud as she pumped higher and higher on the swings. She’d broken her arm jumping off them, fighting back tears as Hachiro ran to get the teacher.

“I’ve been wanting to try this for a while,” she says instead.

He glances up, wide-eyed. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah.  My dad came out this way for work trips all the time, and he would tell me how delicious their specials were. Linguini and clams. Roasted quail on yam puree. All sorts of stuff.” Her smile twists, wry as she hops down, two plates in hand. “When I first came out here, I thought I could at least save up for a table at Matsudaira’s, even if it was just for myself. I was heartbroken when I saw the empty storefront.”

“I would never have guessed. When we were kids you hated that sort of thing.” His head tilts, curious, watching her beneath heavy lids as she sets the dish in front of him. “Is that something that interests you now?”

“Oh, no.” She hops up onto the stool, feet dangling from the rungs. “I just thought...I don’t know. It’s silly really. I mean, since my dad liked it, I just thought...”

Chizuru’s not good at this, the whole...talking about it thing. Her feelings are so...so vast, like looking out over prairie as the lightning comes down, or an ocean as the storm rises. She’s not like the professor, able to take these things and distill them down to their essence, plastering perfection onto the page for everyone else to consume. They don’t squeeze down into those little boxes, becoming something easy to handle, they’re just--

“It would make you feel like you’re with him.”

Her chin jerks up, meeting his patient smile. “That’s what you mean right? If you could do something he enjoyed so much, it might feel like the distance wasn’t so much.”

Warmth blooms beneath her breast, a heat that scintillates out to her limbs and back, chest squeezing tight. Even sitting there, her skin tingling, she can’t decide whether it’s a good feeling, or...something else. Something complicated.

“Yes. That.” The words leave her on a gasp, a sigh she no longer has the breath for. It’s silly to be so worked up, to care so much about not having to explain, that she sets her hands to work, glossy bag slipping against her fingers. “But then Meiji opened up, and I know it’s not the same thing, not even a little, but...”

“It’s close enough.” The bag’s top clenches shut as he puts his hand over hers, giving her a squeeze she feels down to her toes. One that stops as quickly as it starts; she barely has time to blink before he’s retreated to his side of the table, smile slanted and inscrutable. “Once he’s done with his done with his sabbatical, I’m sure your father would love to go with you.”

There’s something lodged between the muscles of her throat, brittle as a pitted stone and ragged as a sob, and she can’t trust herself to speak around it, not without risking its escape. So she nods instead, the motion doing nothing to knock it loose, only ache.

She tries to grab the boxes, flimsy little things that bend under the weight of her grip, but her fingers keep falling numbly off them, nicking her knuckles on their corners. It’s as if her hands know what to do, but her mind can’t focus on making them do it, at least not with any sort of skill.

“You’ll like what I picked, I think,” Hachiro tells her, lifting up one of the boxes with a delicacy and elegance she could only dream of. “I haven’t seen them around here before. They’re called maritozzi.”

“It...sounds fancy,” she agrees, glancing dubiously down at the package he’s placed in her palms. “It’s not...hard to eat, is it?”

His mouth quirks at a corner, and for a moment, he looks almost as roguish as he had at age ten, just minus the bruises. He’d been chubbier then, all the sweeping curves of his face softened by baby fat and his nanny’s cooking, but beneath that it’s the same bones, the same boy that had cried when a bully pushed him off the jungle gym, and then sat on him a week later when he’d tried to do it to Chizuru.

“Not at all.” His voice is different now, not deep like his father’s but full. Masculine, but pretty enough that the choir director would still compliment him if he ever went back. “They’re deceptively simple, actually.”

She braces herself, pressing at the corners until the paper hinge gives, and then-- “Oh.”

“See?” Hachiro’s too kind to laugh, but she hears the hint of one his his voice as she lifts the little bun from its box, careful to keep cream off her fingers. “Nothing to be worried about.”

There really is nothing strange about them, save that she’s never seen anything quite like them. The roll’s only the size of her palm, split down the middle and filled to the brim with black-flecked whipped cream, smoothed over until it looks natural, as if it were all one piece. “Is that real vanilla?”

His shoulder lifts, casual. “So I would assume.”

She takes a bite, or at least she tries to-- like anything with a filling, she nearly has to unhinge her jaw to keep cream from making a bid for freedom. But that first taste hits her tongue, and oh, it’s so, so good.

“So,” Hachiro hums. “Where is your father now?”

Her mouth is full-- he knows it’s full, he just saw her take a bite-- and yet he’s sitting there so mildly, as if it’s normal to hold a conversation this way, like she might not choke herself trying to swallow enough down to speak. Not that she wants to-- oh no, she needs every second plausible chewing can give her if she wants a believable answer, one that won’t make him give her that look, the one he had the morning he moved away--

“Er...” She takes one last swallow, loud enough that his eyebrows lift at the gulp. “I’m not quite sure! He moves around a lot for his research. I think...the South Pacific right now? His connection’s been iffy since he left the mainland.”

“Too bad,” he drawls, too mild to be sincere. “I take it that means he won’t be home for Christmas?”

She picks off a piece of roll, dipping it in the cream. “Ah...no. But, um, I think he’s going to call tonight!”

“That’s something.” Mr. Iba used to have a way of saying nothing so nicely it sounded like a judgement, and it’s clear that Hachiro’s inherited his gift. “Do you have anything planned for Christmas Day?”

“N-no.” It hadn’t bothered her, not really, but now that she’s said it out loud it feels...sad. Incomplete. Like watching an orphan in the first act of a holiday film, before Santa or the spirit of Christmas or whatever gets involved. “I’m just staying in, I think.”

His eyebrows lift higher. “Here?”

It’s not until she glances up, trailing an assessing eye over the kitchen’s corners, that she realizes the house is hardly festive. There’s a tree in the front parlor-- it used to be by the side of the highway, growing quite peacefully past the guardrail before Shinpachi and Heisuke had driven by a few weeks ago, pulling over and declaring it the perfect Christmas tree, and chopped it down with a set of hatchets they found under the seat of the SUV. It’s been a funny story to relay to Sen-- it’s only illegal if you get caught, she’d said, but Kiku says they’re stupid-- but when she looks at Hachiro...

Ah, well, the son of a judge may not have the same opinion about it. Nor appreciate their dubiously legal decor.

“It’ll be fun!” Chizuru says instead, forcing a smile onto her face. “Hajime left me his Netflix password, so I have all the Christmas Prince movies right at my fingertips!”

“That sounds like a pretty nice day, actually.” To her surprise, he’s sincere, smiling as he take his own bite of his bun. “Though I don’t think Saito’s going to forgive you for the damage you’ll do to his recommendeds.”

Her mouth twitches behind her napkin. “Don’t worry, he told me I could watch whatever I wanted...as long as I stay on the profile he made for me.”

A grin breaks across his lips, just as mischievous as when he used to pluck his mother’s cookies off the counter. “Oh, I see, you’ve already been quarantined.”

“I prefer to think of it as ‘special accommodations,’“ she informs him, doing a terrible job of hiding her smile. “It’s very kind he offered at all. He denies he even has an account when Souji asks.”

“Who could blame him?” Hachiro rubs his fingers, dislodging crumbs while his good humor smooths to vague distaste. “I shudder to think what might entertain that guy.”

True crime documentaries and Tarantino movies from her experience, but Chizuru doubts that will help her any. Not when his first impression of Souji had been ‘that guy looks like he pulled wings off flies for fun as a kid.’

“Anyway.” Hachiro clears his throat, arms folding stiffly behind his empty plate. How he eats so quickly, she’ll never know; she’s only three bites in and already her stomach is protesting. “I know you have you plans, but my mom wanted me to ask if you’d come over out place for dinner tomorrow. Her and dad are dying for an excuse to see you again.”

“O-oh!” Her cheeks heat, warm enough she’s sure he can see it. “Would they really--? Um...”

It’s been years since she’s seen them; the same with Hachiro until she tripped over him outside Hijikata’s class. But her memories of them, of their kitchen--

It’s like another home, one warmer and more full than her own. There had certainly been weeks where she’d been there more often than her own house. The ones where Father had to work late on his research, leaving her with leftovers-- and her too short to reach the microwave. But it had never occurred to her that she might be anything more than a suffered annoyance, yet one more mouth to feed when they had two growing boys. To be a wanted guest in a home like that...

Her mouth works, and she takes a bite of her pastry, waiting until is sits like lead in her stomach before she says, “I...I couldn’t possibly impose--”

“Of course you can.” He laughs, so easy, so careless, as if it should be obvious. “It’s hardly an imposition when you’re invited. Look, she even put you on my list! Right under dropping off the charity gifts, it says, get Chizuru--”

Her hand flicks up, deflecting the paper he pulls from his pocket. “I believe you,” she squeaks, barely able to look at it. “You don’t have to, um, show me.”

He hesitates, a smirk shoring up one side of his smile as he slips it back in. “All right. But you’ll come, won’t you? I’ll even pick you up.”

“Um...” His offer’s more than tempting, but the thought of showing up in their home empty-handed... “I don’t think--”

“If you’re worrying about gifts, don’t.”

Chizuru jolts in her seat, feet just barely catching her before she can topple out of it. How did he--?

“My mom said to say your presence is present enough. It’s corny, but she means it.” His gaze flicks to hers, too warm to hold, like cider fresh from the pot. “I think so too, if that matters.”

“Oh,” she breathes. It’s all so nice, but it’s also too much, like sticking frostbitten hands right into the fire, and she doesn’t know if she’s warming up or burning--

“You know, Iba, I can tell you hang out with Hijikata.” Souji sweeps into the kitchen like funeral shroud, leaving a pall over the kitchen with nothing more than a drawl. “You both don’t know how to take a hint. And by that I mean, the door is over there.”

“Okita,” Hachiro manages, his smile so saccharine her teeth ache. “I see you’ve decided to make another attempt at human socialization. I applaud your courage.”

When Souji grins it’s all teeth, prowling around until he stands at her shoulder. “Well, you know, I keep telling myself that no matter what I do, I’ll never sound as stupid as you striking out. And then I have all the motivation I need to keep going on.”

“We all have to find inspiration somewhere, even if it’s only from our own imagination.” Hachiro glows with a grace so serene that paintings of saints would patina with envy. “Ah, it seems I didn’t bring enough pastries for all of us. Looks like you’ll have to go figure out something else on your own.”

“It’s okay.” A long fingers reach past her shoulder, plucking the bun off her plate. There’s a soft crackle right above her ear, and oh, she doesn’t need to turn around to know where the crumbs tumbling down her shoulder come from. “I figured something out.”

“That,” Hachiro grits out, his smile finally as strained as his patience, “is for Chizuru.”

Souji’s arm dangles lazily off her shoulder, hand close enough that if he just tensed his fingers enough to curl, he’d brush below her clavicle. It’s...distracting. “She doesn’t seem to mind.”

“I think--”

“So are you actually gonna go to this loser’s house? Hang out with his parents?” Souji snorts, bending close enough for his hair to tickle over her ear. “Food poisoning sounds more fun.”

A breath hisses between Hachiro’s teeth, but still he only says, so calm, “Don’t you have somewhere else you need to be?”

Around the last of her pastry, Souji mumbles an unfortunately clear, “No.” With a swallow, he adds, “I’m having fun right now.”

“Is that so?” Hachiro’s mouth cants to a dangerous angle. “Then maybe you could--”

There is an end to this suggestion, Chizuru can see the way his mouth moves to make it, eyes glinting like a knife beneath the kitchen lights. But it’s impossible to make out what it might be, not with what sounds like a stampede coming down the back stairs.

“Hey, guys anyone seen my shir--” Harada hauls himself up short, nearly clipping his head on the top of the door. “Oh, how you doin’, Iba? Didn’t expect to see you here.”

One arm hooked over the chair back shifts Hachiro’s posture from high alert to casually confident, Souji entirely forgotten. “It was short notice. Sorry for the surprise.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it.” His giant hand paws at the towel slung around his shoulder, lifting it to dab at his hairline, and-- oh no, he’s not-- he’s--

“Would it kill you to keep your clothes on?” Souji grumbles, slinking from her shoulders to glare from a safe distance like a particularly hostile housecat.

The past three months had exposed her to so much bared boy flesh-- so much she’s sure Shinpachi only begrudgingly tolerates any clothes that aren’t made out of jersey or spandex-- that it’s practically the wallpaper now, utterly unnoticeable unless she’s got her nose pressed to it. But now that Harada is here, strolling through the kitchen, shirtless and dripping right in front of Hachiro, casually advertising her every day, well--

Chizuru can’t blame Souji; she’d like an excuse to slip out of this situation too.

“It might.” Harada scratches at the scar that bisects his stomach, thoughtful. “So does this mean the professor’s coming by too?”

Hachiro laughs, shaking his head, as if just gym shorts were a perfectly normal outfit for a grown man to wear in company. “No, as much as I’d like to see him today, I’m afraid it’s only me. I just stopped in to invite Chizuru to Christmas dinner.”

There’s no reason for it, not at all-- only minutes ago the offer had been as welcome a surprise as it was terrifying-- but now ever muscle stiffens, her knuckles white where they grip the countertop. As if somehow everyone knowing made it-- it--

A coy smirk hovers at the corners of his mouth, a silent tease ready to unravel her. “Oh, that sounds--” Harada glances down at where she sits, and his confusion snuffs his mischief as quick as a match-- “er...nice?”

“You mean stupid,” Souji mutters, but if Hachiro hears him, he doesn’t show it.

“I think so too.” It’s hard to resist when he smiles at her, bright and warm as the best summer day. “My parents will be so happy to see you again.”

“Oh.” Harada’s eyes widen until she can see whites around them. “That’s, uh...I didn’t realize you guys were...serious?”

Chizuru’s hands fly up, waving as if that might help dispel-- er, whatever this is. “Ah! That’s not-- we’re not together. We’re just-- we were neighbors in elementary school. I’ve explained this before...”

“O...kay,” Harada says, just as Souji adds, “See, I told you it was stupid.”

“They haven’t seen her for a long time,” Hachiro explains smoothly, making it all sound so normal, the way she never could. “That’s why they’re so excited.”

“It’s very kind of you to, um, offer, but I don’t--” Guilt’s been nibbling at her since he invited her, but now it takes huge, gulping bites, her confidence as tattered as lettuce left in the crisper. “I mean, do you really think that, er--?”

“Really collecting husbands now, aren’t you, Chizuru?” Souji snorts. “Don’t you already have one stalker that thinks you’re married to him? And now this jackoff’s taking you to meet his parents.”

Hachiro finally turns to him, flushed and out of patience. “Do you have a problem?”

“Yeah, your fa--”

“I--I’m not!” Her hands slap the counter, too loud, but it gets their attention, as little as she likes having it. “I mean, not collecting husbands. No, I mean, I’m not doing that either, but I’m also--” she takes a steeling breath-- “I’m not going. That’s what I’m trying to say.”

Hachiro’s brow knits, the skin there as furrowed as his frown below. “You don’t need to listen to him, Chizuru. There’s nothing wrong about coming over, or weird either. You’re always welcome at our house.”

“I’m not. I mean, I know, I’m not listening to him. It’s just--”

There’s a thousand things she wants to say, a hundred explanations that bloom and rot off the vine. But none of them fit, none of them are what she means. There’s no way to say, it still feels too intimate without implying I don’t want to lead you on, nor I miss my dad without also saying I’m going to waste my life waiting for a phone call.

“I’m not,” she repeats, stronger this time. “Thank you for the invitation, Hachiro, it means a lot to me. But, um, I just finished exams last night, and I’ve really been looking forward to some down time. I just don’t think I’m ready to be good company.”

“You’re always good company,” he tells her, unconvinced. “But if you’re sure...”

“We’ll take good care of her.” Harada slings an arms around her shoulders, squeezing her close enough to catch a whiff of his bodywash. “I promise, no sad Chizuru. And maybe you can stop by again after the holidays and hang. Shinpachi and Saito are gonna be sad they missed you, man.”

Hachiro spares her one last lingering look before he sighs, easing into his laid-back lounge. “Sounds like a good time. Maybe we can even get Toshi in on it...”

He might be on errand for his mom, but Hachiro hardly seems in a hurry when he makes his way to the door, the late afternoon sun already threatening to fall behind the horizon.

“You’ll call me if you change you mind?” he mutters as he zips his coat, sending her a concerned glance. “Really, I’m happy to come out and get you, Any time.”

“R-really!” She pats his shoulder, giving him her best big-girl smile. “I’ll be fine. But thank you. If I do change my mind, you’ll be the first to know.”

His gloved hand lingers on the handle for a long moment before he manages, “Merry Christmas, Chizu.”

“Ah, you too!” He’s nearly got the door shut behind him when she adds, “Tell your parents I said hello!”

It closes with a soft shunk, the cold air displaced with a huff, and she slumps, all the tension gone out of her limbs--

“Wow,” Harada snorts. “You know, I thought Shinpachi could come on a little strong, but that was a whole other weight class. You should have told me he was your ex, I wouldn’t have backed him up.”

“He’s not! He’s just...overprotective.” She’s flushed as she slips past him to the kitchen, desperate to avoid that knowing side-eye. “He used to look out for me when we were small, and then we lost touch, and now...I...I guess he feels like it’s his job to make sure I’m taken care of.”

He nods, arms folding across his chest-- a detail she can note now that he’s put on a shirt. “So he’s making up for lost time.”

It’s weird to think of it like that, like taking care of her might be something to miss, rather just a burden that’s been foisted upon him. “Ah, I...guess, yeah.”

Souji scoffs from his corner, perched up by the sink like a judgemental cat. “Making up for lost blue balls is more like it.”

Harada ignores him, stepping close to put a hand on her shoulder. “You know, if you want to do a Christmas thing, we can just do one here. It may be just the three of us--”

“Count me out.” Souji hops off his perch, clinging to the walls like he expects someone to chase him out with a broom. Or worse, try to pet him. “I don’t do lame ass Christmas stuff.”

“All right.” Harada huffs out a laugh as Souji skulks up the stairs, shaking his head. “Just the two of us then. Maybe we’ll pop some movies on TV, make some popcorn? I can even get some hot chocolate going as long as you don’t mind it coming from a packet.”

He winks, and for a moment, it sounds...so nice. To be able to sit her phone on the arm of the couch and not have to worry about whether she might miss a call, or about whether she’s interrupting by taking it. To have company while she waits, a distraction, something to make her feel less like she’s missing Christmas, and more like something new--

“Mine will be slutty, of course,” he rumbles, so close to her side he nearly looms. There’s a smile when he says it, a twinkle in his eye, and sure it’s supposed to be a joke, but-- but she’s been here long enough to know that friend tends to be a stepping stone to fuckbuddy when it comes to Harada. Not something he plans, but something he falls into; a fiction he fools himself into believing right up until his flavor of the week walks out of his room in his shirt.

Movies and cocoa sounds like the perfect evening with friends, but there’s also something...intimate about it. Two people on that couch, curled up in one corner, sharing heat under the same blanket...Harada might have the best of intentions, but she’s not convinced he knows how to hang out with a girl and not have sex. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, so to speak, so long as everyone is having a good time. But for Chizuru...

Chizuru can imagine it. She would lay her head on his shoulder-- or rather, somewhere in the vacinity of his shoulder-- letting his hand creep around her rib cage, thumb brushing right below the lower limits of her bra. It would shock her; she’s not the type of girl who lets boys this close, but Harada’s always felt safe, treating her more like a mascot than a woman. She’d look up, confused, and he’d look down, fond, and then he’d lean in, bending down, and down--

and down--

and down--

Ah, he’s just...too tall for her. Sen may have told her that was part of the fun when it came to being just a hair below average, but when Chizuru considers the health of his spine--

She turns her head, hiding her grimace. “No, I think I’m-- I’ll be fine on my own.”

It’s Harada’s turn to look concerned now. “Are you sure, Chizuru? It’s really no problem for me to--?”

“I’m sure,” she says, firmer, in the same tone her father used to keep inspectors from asking more questions. The last thing she needs is for him to get the idea in his head to why; your height is daunting, is not an answer she want to have to explain, nor is, and I think you’re too experienced to stop at holding hands, too.

“Don’t worry,” she says instead, reaching out to squeeze his arm. “A day by myself is just what I need. Now, what do we want for dinner?”

It’s dark by the time she gets back to her room, her bedside table the only light in the room. She pads over to it, curious, wondering just why she might have left it--

“Oh no,” she gasps, hurrying over. “My phone, I’ve left it here all day!”

Missed texts and university emails stretch across the screen, but she doesn’t spare them a glance, thumb nudging her past every icon until she’s sure-- no voicemail, no missed calls, no emails with greetings from tropical climes. It’s Christmas wherever Father is, but he hasn’t thought of her.

“He’s not up yet,” she tells herself, the sound of the words calming her when thoughts can’t. “There’s lots of time zones in the Pacific. He’s probably just in one that’s still asleep. Waiting for Santa, I bet!”

That gets her to laugh, the strange ache in her chest easing as she settles on the bed, looking through what’s she’s missed. More holiday greetings from Sen and Kimigiku it seems, filled with semi-ironic usage of stickers; a message from Hijikata telling her to take it easy over break, and not to let the boys run her ragged; blast texts from classmates she’s friendly with, impersonal maybe, but Chizuru’s happy to be thought of; and--

[Susumu Yamazaki] I could call now if you like

She blinks, stymied. “Call? Why would he...?”

With a tap the chat unfurls beneath her fingertips. The message its at the bottom of the screen, timestamp that morning, a few minutes after her own text, one that read--

“Oh!” She claps a hand to her cheek, mortified. “Oh my gosh.”

[Me] I’m so sorry!! I didn’t see this until now!! Hachiro sprung a surprise visit on me. I had to get ready quick!! 😱 Well actually I was asleep when he sent the text. 😴 So it wasn’t meant to be a surprise. But it was!! 🤣

She sighs, letting the phone drop to her lap. Yamazaki’s at home with his parents, doing...whatever families do at holidays. It’s too much to hope he’s sitting around, waiting for her text even after she let him sit for a whole day unanswered. It’d be her just deserts to wait for hours, hoping--

[Susumu Yamazaki] That would do it.

She stares, speechless, her thumbs hanging limp on the screen. “Is he really...?”

[Susumu Yamazaki] Iba hasn’t been by in a while. Did you have a good time?

[Me] It was nice to see him! 😄 His parents wanted him to invite me over for Christmas. Hachiro must have told them my dad’s on sabbatical.

[Susumu Yamazaki] Is that were you’ll be tomorrow? That was kind of them.

[Me] Ah no. It felt too weird to see them for such a big event when we haven’t seen each other for like seven years. And plus I don’t have gifts! 😂

[Susumu Yamazaki] Iba’s parents wouldn’t care about something like that. Not if they’re anything like him.

[Me] Ah I didn’t mean to imply they would!! 😧 They definitely wouldn’t!! They’re so kind!! It just...felt rude. And I wanted to wait for my dad to call. So staying in seems like the best option all around.😄

[Susumu Yamazaki] Is there something planned at the house? Never asked you guys, I guess.

[Me] Sanosuke offered to do something festive tomorrow, but Souji isn’t interested.🤭

[Susumu Yamazaki] Okita hasn’t met a positive experience he couldn’t make worse. So what are you doing with Harada?

[Me] Nothing!! 😂 Sano is super nice. He’s just also very...friendly? A little too friendly I guess. I know he didn’t mean anything by it but being alone just the two of us... You know how he is.

[Susumu Yamazaki] lol Didn’t want to tell you what to do. But he has his reputation for a reason. Will you be okay by yourself? Or is it cool to not have plans?

I’m fine!! sits in the box, ready to send, but for once, Chizuru hesitates. It’s easy to give out niceties to Harada or Hachiro-- they want to be assured she’s all right, that they don’t have to worry about her. But Yamazaki has never asked her a question he doesn’t want a real answer to. To give him some stock response...it feels like lying, even if it was to put him at ease.

[Me] A little of both if that makes sense?

There’s no delay before he replies, I don’t want to pry. Do you want to talk about it?

Her fingers squeeze tight around the case, rubber buttons biting into the fleshy bits of her knuckles. She’s not used to doing this, to admitting things aren’t always sunshine, but somehow it’s easier to press the buttons than it is to speak the words, and once she starts it pours out of her, flooding the screen.

[Me] It’s just that Christmas was a big deal with my dad. It’s weird to not do anything for it? But also no one can be my dad? So if I spent it with other people I’d feel like I’d have to prentend it’s just as good. So if I’m by myself there’s no pressure to do that. I can just let it be bad or only okay. No one has to feel like they’re not enough. But also that feels a little lonely? So I don’t know. At least this way I’m the only one who has to worry about it.

The second she finishes, a tidal wave of regret threats to pull her under, to drown her in her own words. What was she thinking, telling him all that? He can’t have possibly wanted--

[Susumu Yamzaki] If you want

Chizuru blinks, eyes fixed to the screen. It’s a mistake, she knows; only half a sentence and there’s a frantic way Susumu Yamazaki is typing keeps showing up on her screen before it disappears once again. But still, she can’t look away, not when she’s pours all her thoughts out like pus from a boil, and his first reaction isn’t, Ew.

[Susumu Yamazaki] Sorry. Cat was helping.

She’s known Yamazaki for three months, and yet that’s the most personal piece of information she’s ever heard about him. She want to ask him all about it, whether it’s male or female, if it’s a calico or a tabby or something else she’s never heard of. Siamese, maybe? She can picture him with one of those.

Her lips clamp together, trying to swallow down a wiry giggle. Yamazaki has a cat. Or at least his parents do. There’s one on him right now, weaving through his arms, trying to get attention as he types. And he’s giving it to her instead.

[Susumu Yamazaki] Anyway. If you get lonely you can call me. I certainly don’t mind that I’m not your dad.

[Me] I’d like that. As long as you don’t mind that I WILL be watching the Christmas Prince and its associated films.

[Susumu Yamazaki] We can watch them together. There’s an app. It will be a relief to have an excuse not to interact with my family for a few hours.

There’s a knot in her throat when she hesitates, slowly typing out, If you don’t mind.

[Susumu Yamazaki] Not at all. I’ve been asked a total of nine times why I’m not going into acupunture. Even the Christmas Prince will be an improvement.

[Me] Okay!! Do you mind waiting a little bit? I’m waiting for my dad to call.

[Susumu Yamazaki] Take as long as you need.

When she wakes up, it’s with a start. The bedside lamp is off-- ah, she doesn’t remember doing that-- and so it’s with her hands that she reaches out, trying to locate rubber corners through her covers.

“I can’t believe I missed it,” she gasps, ragged with frustration. “He finally calls, and I’m not even--”

The screen lights up when she lifts it, but it doesn’t show a call, oh no, but--

[😽] dont say i never get u guys ne thing 🤗

She blinks, kitty face coming into focus. “The house chat?”

[😽] merry xmas u mfs 🎄🎅 www.ujkyo.edu/news dont say i never get u guys ne thing 🤗

#yamachi #hakuouki #my fic #modern au #college au #If the Mind Is Willing #LARP AU #i thought i would be getting to the beginning of the LARP reveal with this chapte #but iba took over for a little while #and then yamazaki and chizuru were being cute #and i can't be held accountable for how these end up at 7K okay #but let me say next chapter will have more LARP reveal than you can shake a stick at #and nagakura in an ugly christmas sweater

[fairlyang]

Appreciate 🕷️

caught masturbating while babysitting

w/c: 5.1K

pairing: dilfneighbor!miguel x latinababysitter!reader

tags: 18+ smut. slow burn oops, age gap (not specified but reader is early 20's, mig early 30's, dirty thoughts ensue, caught masturbating, he helps you out, fingering, staying quiet

notes: the getting caught fucking KILLED me rn while editing I cannot😭

Miguel O'Hara was one of your neighbors and your parents quickly got a liking to the single father across the street. He was very laidback and kind, accommodating with all the neighbors for literally anything.

So considering that when Miguel would say he never had time for himself due to always taking care of his daughter, Gabriella, your dad told him you'd be happy to babysit for him while he took him out to get a couple drinks with a few of the other dads in the neighborhood.

But of course you had no fucking clue this conversation was even had until the day your dad promised him some drinks.

"Oye mija le prometí a Miguel que ibas a quedar a su hija para sacarlo a tomarnos unos tragos." He tells you standing by your doorway while you sat on your bed and then just walks away. (Hey honey I promised Miguel that you were going to take care of his daughter so we could take him out to have a couple drinks)

"Porque hiciste eso?!!?!" You yelled and quickly hopped out of bed and ran after him beyond pissed. (Why did you do that?!!?!)

"Si apenas me estaba alistando para salir con mis amigas no chingues!!!!" You screamed following down the stairs in your heels that clicked on every step. (I was just getting ready to go hang out with my friends. it's a phrase that can be used for shock or when shit goes wrong)

"Pues dile a Miguel que se canceló el plan entonces." He says so confident you wouldn't do it until you walk past him and heading straight to the front door. (Then go tell Miguel that the plans are canceled)

"AY OKAY! Que quieres?" He says and rolls his eyes as you turn around to face him. (What do you want?)

"Me debes un enorme favor. Lo que sea cuando te lo pida." You say and point a finger at him, just to show you really mean it. (You owe me enormous favor. Whatever it is, whenever I ask you of it)

"Ya que-" (ugh whatever- or like 'since I have no other choice')

"Tu mismo te hiciste esto." You quickly cut him off and he only groans. (You only did this to yourself)

"Pues deja me pongo cómoda. Ya que no tengo otra opción." You say and glare at him to which he only gives you a goofy smile. (Let me get comfortable. Now that I don't have another option)

You reluctantly went upstairs, annoyed that this was how your Friday night was gonna go over going clubbing with your friends.

But shit happens, what can you really do?

You go back to your room and take off your perfectly chosen red mini dress and put the sweats you were wearing earlier back on. You then grab a tee shirt that had hello kitty on it with some sunglasses, hoping to get some brownie points by the little girl at least.

You then slip on a pair of purple crocs and you're done. Until you realized you had already put your makeup on so now you have to take it off.

What a waste.

You grab a makeup wipe that you had on your desk and wipe off your eye makeup, then everything else only leaving your lips alone.

Then grabbing your phone off your bed, sending a quick text to your friends that you can't make it and you head back downstairs. "Vámonos." Your dad says and snaps his finger as if he has any room to complain. (Let's go.)

He opened the front door and you walked out right behind him as you mumble how annoying he was to which he told you to just calm down and it wouldn't be that bad.

You walked across the street and stepped up to his front door, your dad ringing the doorbell to which you then hear loud footsteps coming from inside.

Then the door opens by none other than the very energetic 8 year old. This was going to be a long night...

You smile down at her and give her a wave which she returns and gives you a toothy grin of her own. "Gabi donde está tu papá?" You asked and she just pointed up. (where's your dad?)

"Se está poniendo sus tenis! Dijo voy a jugar con alguien nueva." She says and goes back inside letting out giggles as she walks to the living room. (He's putting on his shoes! He said I get to play with someone new)

You follow her in and see coloring books, crayons, colored pencils and markers all over the coffee table in front of the tv. "Te gusta colorear?" She asked as she takes a seat behind the table as you make your way around the couch to sit on the floor with her. (Do you like to color?)

"Si me encanta!" You say and her eyes lit up. (Yes I love it!)

Suddenly you hear footsteps coming down the stairs and straighten up as Miguel comes down giving you a bright smile.

And lord did he clean up nice.

He was wearing a black button up with some jeans and black boots. You gave him a smile as he walked over to you and Gabi, who was also shining her big smile. "Papi también le gusta colorear!!" She says jumping up onto the couch and grinning ear to ear. (she also likes to color!!)

He gasps and tickles her sides making her erupt into fits of giggles, "de verdad?" He says and turns to you, to which you give a small shrug and just smile. (really?)

He stops tickling her and she hops off the couch just to sit back down on the floor. You turn to him and he walks around the couch leaning down, and gives you a quick kiss on your cheek to which you return at the same time.

"Thank you so much for this, I really appreciate it." He says and you pull back, waving him off before he continues, "Gabi's on a little sugar rush right now but she'll be calm within the next hour and will want to go to bed right after. She's a very deep sleeper so feel free to use the tv and help yourself to any of the food."

You nod and watch as he bends over and whispers something to her ear to which Gabi nods and gives him a thumbs up. He gets up and mouthed another thank you then walks out the front door.

Maybe this won't be too bad.

And it wasn't.

You ended up coloring two pages of a finding nemo coloring book while she was coloring on a spongebob coloring book. And surprisingly stayed in the lines.

After that she wanted you to play with her dolls to which you felt happy to, it was like reliving your childhood and she was such a sweet kid.

You noticed it was 8pm and helped Gabi put away all her coloring things and let her lead you to her bedroom.

She runs in as you carry her art supplies and she points to a desk for you to leave them on.

You walk over to her dresser where Miguel left a pair of pjs for her to put on and help her take off shoes as well as her glittery shirt and pants.

She then puts on her pjs and goes off the brush her teeth all by herself. Made your job even easier.

She runs back in after a few minutes and plops down onto her bed, "can you tuck me in? Porfis?" She asks and give little puppy dog eyes. (Please)

"Of course." You nod and walk over to her princess bed.

"Como un burrito!" She giggles making you laugh. (Like a burrito!)

So you pull her blanket over her body and let her lift her arms before tucking her in tightly which just made the little girl giggle. You go down and tuck her nicely tight before coming up and passing her the stuffed animal she was reaching for.

A spider.

Weird option but it had cute eyes.

"Goodnight Gabi, duerme con cosas bonitas." You whisper and smile at her as she gives you one back. (Sleep with pretty things)

You turn off her lamp from her bedside table, then walk towards her door, turning the light switch off before finally closing the door.

You head downstairs, turning off all the lights, and plop down on one of the couches in the living room. You scroll on your phone but then quickly grow bored so you reach over the coffee table and grab the remote control.

You turn the tv on and go through the apps they had and decide to watch 'A Nightmare on Elm Street'. You kick your crocs off then make yourself comfortable before turning to watch the tv.

You got to watch the first scene before your eyes started fluttering and you pass out.

You don't wake up until you hear the jingle of the door and you jump up, wiping your eyes and sitting up to watch Miguel come through the door, surprisingly not shit faced.

You stood up and greeted him with a hug, then a kiss on the cheek as he gives you one back. "Como les fue?" You ask and he shrugs. (How'd it go?)

You then pull away and take quick notice of the lipstick stains along his neck. You look back up at him and he smiles, "estuvo bien." (It was good)

Sure looks like it.

You shrug and smile, "que bien! If you need me to babysit just let my parents know and hopefully I'll be available." You offer and he sighs. (That's good!)

"I really appreciate it," he starts and takes his wallet out which you look at with a confused look, "me vale que era un favor, no me siento bien en no pagarte un poco." (I don't care that it was a favor, I feel bad in not paying you a little bit)

"Y más porque tu papá me dijo que tu ya tenías planes y ni sabías de esto." He says with a sympathetic smile while handing you a $50 bill. (And more because your dad told me that you had plans and didn't know about this)

You widen your eyes and shake your head, "no te preocupes! Está bien y Gabi se porto bien! No me tienes que pagar Miguel." You say and wave him off. (Don't worry about it! It's okay and Gabi behaved well! You don't have to pay me.)

"Por favor tómalo, me siento mal. Agarra el dinero para que tomes con tus amigas, yo picho." He says, letting out a chuckle at the last two words and you sigh. (Please take it, I feel bad. Grab the money so you can drink with your friends, I'll pay."

His eyes were pleading and it looked like he felt bad but it wasn't even his fault. If anything your dad should be the one paying.

"Si no para la próxima le digo a Gabi que lo esconda de tu ropa." He threatens making you burst out laughing. (If not for the next time I'll tell Gabi to hide it in your clothes)

"Creo que quiero ver eso..." you joke and he laughs. (I think I wanna see that)

"Mis papas me matarán si lo tomo Miguel. De verdad estás bien!" You reassure him and he sighs. (My parents will kill me if I take it Miguel. Seriously you're fine!)

"Eres bien terca." He mutters and you scoff. (You're very stubborn)

A smirk tugs on his lips and you had to fight the thoughts entering your mind. Sure he was fine as hell, you already knew that but you shouldn't be thinking this mid conversation.

"Maybe next time I'll accept it!" You say and shrug as he slides the bill back in his wallet.

"Fine." He sighs in defeat and tilts his head to the side, "but I'll still make Gabi hide it in your clothes just for good measure." He jokes making you smile.

"Yeah yeah." You wave him off and walk past him to the front door.

"Thank you again, I appreciate it." He says turning to face you and opens the door for you.

"Course! Anytime, and now I'll actually know about it." You joke making him roll his eyes.

"Tu papá es algo más." He says and you nod. (Your dad is something else)

"Lo se." You mutter and finally walk out before you waste anymore of his time. (I know)

"Cuidate!" He shouts as you walk out of his porch and onto the sidewalk. (Stay safe!)

You turn back to him and wave before turning back and crossing the street back to your house. You open the door assuming your dad didn't lock it and sure enough it was open.

As you stepped in and closed the door you noticed Miguel was still outside his door, making sure you did stay safe.

So sweet.

You give him one last wave before closing the door and immediately head to your room.

You open the door and quickly close it before taking off your crocs once again and plopping down onto your bed.

And now finally your thoughts could roam free.

His hair was slicked back before he left the house, right now that shit was all over the place.

And the lipstick stains on his neck??

He definitely got his own fun tonight but you couldn't help but feel so jealous.

It's not your fault if you occasionally had a wandering eye whenever Miguel was around.

Or peeking out through your bedroom window to watch him when he mowed the lawn. Shirtless.

Or stare at him longer than you should at random carne asadas the neighbors would host.

It was natural for a young woman to feel attraction towards an older man like him.

Especially with daddy issues but that's besides the point-

He stood out from the other dads in the neighborhood, he was younger. Respectful, kind, helpful.

Everything a woman could ever ask for.

So you couldn't help but instantly felt a twinge of jealousy when you saw the lipstick stains on his neck.

Why couldn't that be you that left them?

At least now you know he looked really good in red..

But at what cost? Feeling your entire being now getting taken over by jealousy of a man you have no right to and probably stand no chance in ever having?

Or touching...

And there came the horny thoughts that always seemed to appear in the back of your mind. He always just did something to you. Your body couldn't help but want him, crave him, his touch.

So you repeated the endless cycle of anytime you see him just having to masturbate. It was getting bad dude, but not hurting anyone.

Besides maybe your heart that I wasn't him giving you orgasm after orgasm.

——————

Alas you had to use your own fingers to make you cum and not Miguel's. Again.

But you moved on and let the next day pass. Nothing eventful happened, and there were no Miguel sightings to be found.

That was until you got a text from an unknown number and low and behold it was the man you were daydreaming about all day.

Unknown number

Hey it's Miguel! I asked your dad for your number, hope that's fine but was wondering if you could babysit for me tmrw?

Got scheduled for a late shift at the lab and don't want Gabi home alone🥲

It was embarrassing how quickly you started typing your response but how could you say no?

You're good!! And I'd love to! What time?

No way he could sense your desperation to see him again through text. Right?

You added him to your contacts before he finally texts back.

Miguel💞

Around 6, getting out at midnight so please let me pay you this time

You sigh and quickly type back.

Alrightttt

And sounds good I'll be seeing you guys tmrw:)

And with that no more messages from him came in but he left a like to your second message.

And the rest of your night was uneventful besides the occasional wet dream filling your mind and distracting you.

——————

It was the next day and you were practically counting down the hours until you had to go babysit.

Given you wouldn't even see Miguel for too long before or after but still. You'd have to make do with the amount of time you will see him.

But because you knew you'd just be playing or coloring with Gabi again, you decided to just dress comfortably over trying to impress Miguel for less than five minutes.

So sweats and a tee shirt again but no bra because who the fuck wants to willingly wear a bra for six hours?

Yeah right.

Now all dressed you grabbed your airpods and phone, slipped your crocs on and went downstairs. Saying a quick goodbye to your parents before exiting your house and trying not to skip on over to Miguel's house.

It was 5:45 but you figured you'd get there early just cause, definitely not to possibly spend a little more time with him.

Definitely not.

You walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. Instantly the door flew open and Gabi opened the door wide so you could come in.

You ruffle her hair as she grins up at you, "cómo estás Gabi?" (How are you?)

"Bien! Apenas comí pozole!" She says as you walk in and she happily closes the door behind you. (Good! I just ate pozole!)

You gasp and were about to respond when Miguel came down. "The pot is still warm si te quieres servir un plato." He says giving you a quick hug and kiss on your cheek. (if you want a plate)

"Might just have to." You reply giving him a smile once he pulled away.

He was wearing a white lab coat, maybe a white button up and you didn't want to look down to see the rest.

His hair was slicked back again but the best part was that he was wearing thick black glasses. It made him look 100x more attractive but you remained calm.

No way to act like a barbarian right now.

Maybe later.

"Okay have her in bed by seven because she's got school tomorrow and no sweets besides pan dulce with a glass of milk." He says and you chuckle as Gabi storms up to him with a pout on her face.

But he didn't budge.

"Tv and fridge are all yours. Make yourself at home and I'll be back by midnight." He tells you then looks down at Gabi.

"Pórtate bien." He says, leaning down and giving her a kiss on her forehead and a hug. (Behave)

"Ya se papi, ya se." She says and playfully rolls her eyes. (I know dad, I know)

He gives her a warning look before blowing her a kiss as he walks to the front door. He gives her one last look and she just waves him goodbye. He chuckles and opens the door then shuts it behind him.

"Can we watch Bluey?" She looks up at you with pleading little eyes and you nod as she sprints to the living room without another word.

So you end up watching Bluey with Gabi for a good nine episodes before you were slowly losing yourself into this little kids show. The little accents and cute storylines just got to your heartstrings.

And with fifteen minutes left to spare, you wait until the episode Gabi was watching was over before hitting the back button leading you back to the disney+ home screen.

Gabi whined and you shook your head, "no more, you've gotta get ready for bed!"

She groans but nonetheless heads upstairs with you trailing behind her. She gets dressed into her pjs then heads straight to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

She's literally an angel.

No way Miguel would have a hard time finding a sitter for her. She's every babysitter's dream. Besides the occasional sarcasm she got from her dad.

But nonetheless still an angel.

Finally she's in bed and you're tucking her in, once again passing her the stuffed spider, who you learned she named Gabri, after her favorite uncle.

You then shut off the lights and walk out of her room, closing the door gently.

You walk back downstairs turning off the lights before heading to the living room. You plop down on the couch and get comfortable, this time putting on a blanket that was on the armrest because it was getting cold.

You play a random movie, snuggling the blanket to your face to warm yourself up when you realize it smells like Miguel.

Maybe he was sitting there earlier?

You breathed in and breathed out, feeling so relaxed. Your eyes start fluttering and it's the second time you pass out at Miguel's place. 

You get woken up by screams coming from the tv, probably wasn't the best to play a scary movie but oh well.

You stretched and let out a yawn before switching positions and laying down so your legs were stretched out over the whole couch. You laid your head on the arm rest and wiped your eyes before taking your phone and airpods from your pocket.

You put them both in your ears before just scrolling through your phone. You move the blanket so it was mostly by your chest and stomach, exposing your legs because you weren't cold but still wanted it on you.

Just then you inhale his scent again and he must've been wearing something expensive because it smelled so good.

You then got the absolute best idea imaginable. And with Miguel being away for another two hours along with Gabi sleeping and probably snoring heavily in her room, you would be good.

So you put some music on, a mix of The Weeknd and Lana Del Rey to get you in the perfect mood. But as you closed your eyes your imagination immediately ran wild and there was no stopping you.

You spread your legs and slowly ran a hand over your body, playing with your tits then softly pinching your hardened nipples. Then trailing it up and down your stomach before it lands on the waistband of your sweats.

You slipped your hand in and began by just tracing along your inner thigh, then went deeper. You led two fingers down to rub your clit, only a couple circles before going down and rubbing your slit over your panties.

Your arousal was already building up, and this blanket was helping a ton. You just imagined Miguel on top of you, not caring if he crushed you, just craving him above you. The way he'd be looking down at your eyes while he toyed with you. Had his way with you.

You needed him so desperately, his touch, his mouth, his fingers. Absolutely everything and anything he'd give you.

Your fingers made their way back up to your clit and you started rubbing faster circles against it while bucking your hips up, imagining it's Miguel's fingers.

A moan slipped past your lips and you tried your best to keep quiet as your fingers worked fairly against your bundle of nerves.

"Miguel-" you whispered before letting out a shaky breath as you held onto the blanket tightly with your left arm.

Just the thought of this big, smoking hot dilf climbing on top of you was almost enough to make you explode.

Fortunately your thoughts went broader than that.

Not only is he tall, and big but his cock would most definitely be the best thing you'd ever lay your eyes on. He'd be really thick and you'd probably struggle keeping him inside you.

He'd stretch you out to absolute perfect and you'd tighten around him so good he's be moaning out your name from how good your pussy feels.

You felt your slick seep through your panties and it only made you more relentless. You slipped your hand under your panties, and brought your two fingers to tease your hole.

You'd need the practice.

You dipped your fingers into your folds, just letting your fingers get soaked before finally slipping them both in making you whine.

You bite your lip to shut yourself up before slipping them in harshly, imagine that's how Miguel would fuck you. You feel yourself clench against your fingers as you start to fuck yourself immediately fast, needing him so fucking badly.

His cock would fill you up so good and you wouldn't mind if he came inside. You wouldn't want him to waste any of it.

You cover your mouth with the blanket let yourself moan into it, as you breathe him in with every inhale. You let out mumbled moans of just his name, as you start to fuck yourself harder, your immersion working better than ever tonight.

And it might've manifested into itself when you felt a gently tap on your shoulder which made you open your eyes, and freeze in fear.

It was Miguel.

"W-w-what are you d-doing back so e-early?!?" You ask as you felt your heartbeat increase rapidly.

But you couldn't seem to slip your fingers out. Unable to move and staring blankly ahead and not to your right as Miguel's body loomed over you.

"Finished what we needed to do faster than expected." He says and you could feel his gaze on you. It was hard to miss.

And you were growing more and more nervous by the second. "And this is what you're doing huh?" He whispers and it doesn't help your nerves at all but does make you clench against your fingers.

"I-I- I'm sorry-" you apologize feeling your body flush with embarrassment but get interrupted.

"A good hour before I was meant to come home too. Que pensaste?" He snarls and you hold your breath. (what were you thinking?)

Shit.

"Aww and gripping this poor blanket for dear life." He says in that teasing tone but you don't have it in you to look at him.

"No me lo esperaba de ti." He whispers and you take a deep breath. (I wasn't expecting this from you)

"P-perdón-" (S-sorry)

"Shh stay quiet..." he whispers and see him going down to his knees out of your peripheral.

"Let me appreciate you in some other way for what you've done for me tonight." He murmurs softly in your ear.

He then brings a hand down between your legs, before placing his hand on top of yours, fingers still buried inside you. Your lip was quivering and you couldn't believe this was happening.

And you're not dreaming.

He then pulls it away only to slip it under your sweats then panties before sliding his fingers between your folds. You whimpered and bucked your hips up, always a needy mess.

"What did I stay? Stay quiet." He coos in your ear, bringing his other hand up to your throat, lightly squeezing.

You finally turn your head to look at him only to smile at him before he leans in to kiss you. You kissed back immediately and he lets go of your throat and instead cups your jaw as you moan into his mouth. He pulls away making you pout, "No hagas que me repita nena." He whispers and you nod. (Don't make me repeat myself baby girl)

"Take your fingers out for me." He whispers and you nod, immediately listening.

You slip your fingers out and take them out between your legs. "Good girl." He murmurs and move his fingers down, teasing your hole with the tip of his finger.

"Miguel- fuck-" you moan then cover your mouth with the blanket again.

"Need more?" He coos and you whimper, nodding.

"Tell me." He whispers and you move your hand away.

"Please- I need you so fucking badly- por favor, te necesito- mmm te necesito tanto Miguel." You plead and he slides his fingers inside you. (Please I need you, I need you so much)

"Feel good huh baby?" He asks and you nod, unable to speak as his fingers start pumping into you fast.

You clamp a hand over your already covered mouth and try your hardest to keep quiet but his fingers filled you up. Two fingers, were able to feel fulfilling inside you.

"Estas tan hermosa mami." He whispers in your ear and you let out a muffled whimper, your walls clenching against his fingers. (You're so beautiful)

He left gentle kisses along your jaw, and neck while pumping his fingers faster and harder. You rolled your eyes back as you kept quiet, or tried to.

You bucked your hips up and tilted your head to the side as Miguel began sucking on your skin, leaving marks then kissing them after. Your walls clenched against your fingers and you could feel that familiarity in your lower abdomen.

"Te vas a quedar bien calladita para mi verdad?" He whispers making you gasp and nod. (You're gonna stay real quiet for me right?)

He starts fucking into you harder and curls his fingers up, hitting that sweet spot of yours with every thrust as you feel your legs begin to shake. Your eyes began to flutter and you tried to keep your eyes open, you wanted to how he'd react to you cumming.

You then feel his thumb rubbing fast circles against your clit which only makes it harder for you to stay quiet. You bit your lips and held all your moans in as your climax hit and your entire body starts to shake. You covered your mouth and breathed heavily as he fucked you slower, moving his thumb away.

You close your eyes and let out heavy pants as he stops and lets his fingers stay inside. "You did so good baby... how's that instead of money?" He whispered and you just gave him a drunken smile unable to have any thoughts.

"Still gonna leave you with both." He coos and kisses your cheek softly.

He pulls his fingers out slowly, then slips them out your juices dripping down and definitely staining your poor panties even more.

He slips his fingers out of your panties and sweats and then brings them up to your mouth which you instantly put into your mouth. You tasted yourself as your eyes fluttered and your breathing finally had calmed down.

You then let go of his fingers with a plop and he leans in, kissing you again but passionately. Tongue in your mouth, also wanting to have a taste of you. After a solid fifteen seconds he pulls away and murmurs, "Thank you for babysitting again. If you want you can stay the night, te ves muy cansada... pobrecita." (you look so tired, poor girl)

#miguel ohara #across the spiderverse #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara imagine #miguel o hara #miguel ohara oneshot #miguel ohara smut #miguel ohara x y/n #atsv miguel

[gallusrostromegalus]

all the captains and lieutenants accidentally get slipped some of ukitake's fucked up gigaweed edibles, what happens

First of all, it's not an accident, they straight-up plan a Friday-Night-Of-A-Three-Day-Weekend event of this. Everyone is curious, and Ukitake thinks it will be a funny way to celebrate his Birthday. He is correct: Yamamoto: Veteran of The Dank Arts, gets real high but not unpleasantly so. Would do it again next time he has a long weekend to enjoy it!

Sasakibe: Claims Ludwig Wittgenstein makes PERFECT sense now, attempts to write this philosophical revelation down but is thwarted by the jammed machinations of a clicky pen.

Soi Fon: Gives herself a hernia laughing at one (1) bad pun.

Yoruichi: Used to Urahara's Megaweed Edibles, so approaches the Gigaweed with undue confidence, declares This Edible Ain't Shit five minutes in and eats a second one. She has to be coaxed down from the top of the fridge where she's hiding from The Hatmen by bribing her with a can of Tuna. (Ukitake keeps the $21-a-can Good Shit in the house)

Omaeda: Creates a God-teir marinara Sauce, AND has the good sense to have Nemu pause her Game of Go and come into the kitchen to write down what he did.

Rose: Writes a magnificent new symphony, it's his best work ever, it's life alteringly beautiful, it's effervescent- When he sobers up, it's half a piccolo solo that barely qualifies as a ringtone.

Izuru: In the kitchen crying while eating an inadvisable amount of Omaeda's Spaghetti Marinara.

Retsu: Category Five Mukbang Incident

Isane: Thinks she's filming the Mukbang Incident, actually has her phone open to the calculator app.

Shinji: refuses to touch the Gigaweed because he "Owes The Hatmen Money" and nobody can tell if he's joking or not (he's not).

Momo: Literally Everything is HILARIOUS

Hiyori: Did not know it was possible to have a bigger, gayer crush on Momo, but she somehow opened up a new level of lesbianics. She calls it Gay 2.

Byakuya: Couchlocked for 24 hours straight.

Renji: Couchlocked right there with him, but able to text Izuru to bring them Spaghetti.

Komamura: Can't. Canine Weed Toxicity. (Relieved, offers to spend the weekend watching Toshiro and Yachiru so he has an excuse to go winter camping over the weekend)

Iba: Got High as FUCK. Found out later that the thing he actually ate was a Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie.

Shunsui: his alcohol tolerance actually makes his weed tolerance terrible so he's on the floor from jokingly licking the wrapper.

Nanao: Challenging people to knife fights (Romantic Intent).

Tousen: Immediately passes out because he managed to get his blood pressure down to normal levels, sleeps for 26 hours straight and wakes up feeling genuinely well-rested and in a good mood for the first time in two centuries.

Kensei: Gets his hand bitten at the Category 5 Mukbang Incident because he thought it would be funny to try to snitch off Retsu's plate.

Shuuhei: Attempting to refinance Shinji's debt with The Hatmen. Possibly succeeding?

Mashiro: Said "This Edible Ain't Shit", took a second, and appears to be unaffected. Playing Go with Nemu and winning.

Matsumoto: Makes the Hernia-inducing Pun. Will not STOP making Puns.

Hitsugaya: Being babysat by Komamura, would be madder about this if he wasn't also having a blast doing wintertime camping.

Kenpachi: Attempts to fight his own shadow, loses.

Yachiru: Also on the Wintertime Mountain Expedition, trying to talk Toshiro into joining her and Komamura on an Elk Hunt.

Ikkaku: Has done weed before, but only smoked it, but has a naturally suspicious nature and waits to see how Yoruichi does on her second edible, and avoids running afoul of The Hatmen.

Yumichika: Stays sober to collect blackmail on everyone. Actually films the Mukbang Incident for Isane

Mayuri: This is NOTHING compared to the Quantum Formaldymeth shit he's been on for the last century.

Urahara: from a prominent weed-growing family and lifetime connoisseur of The Herb. Takes one bite and realizes he's in deep shit, lies down on the floor next to Shuuhei and gives him terrible financial advice.

Nemu: Not chemically effected by The Edible but she loves A Group Social Activity so she's a little crunk on Social Recognition Euphoria and it's interfering with her game.

Ukitake, peeling his lieutenant off the floor: Y'all are wimps.

Rukia: has to be peeled off the floor, is affectionately dumped in the laps of Renji and Byakuya, where she forces them to have an emotionally honest and borderline normal conversation.

#AEIWAM #drugs mention #An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy #Bleach #Bleach fanfic #long post #weed mention

[recurring-polynya]

Izakaya Kamenoya

I am re-watching the Captain Amagai arc, which I love because it has just a shit-ton of Seireitei slice-of-life worldbuilding. Early in the arc, Kira goes to the bar with Renji and Iba to sob about how his new Third Seat is better than him, and it made me wonder-- do the lieutenants always go to the same bar, or does the anime just make up a new one every time? Episode 172 had a nice shot of the exterior:

I immediately went to Episode 355 (the second New Year's episode), because I'm always thinking about Rukia shotgunning that beer while Renji gazes on lovingly, and it certainly *looks* like same place, but again, maybe that's just a very standard-looking izakaya.

I decided that trying to translate the kanji might help. They're more visible in the first image. The ones on the paper lantern, 酒処 were easy, because they just say izakaya (literally, "alcohol" and "place"). That just supported the idea that this was just some generic bar. For the kanji on the wooden lantern, which appeared to be the same as the ones on the sign above the door, I managed to puzzle out the bottommost one, 屋, which means "shop" or "restaurant." Hmm.

At this point, I was feeling a little stumped, so I went looking for other screen shots.

Other bar scenes I could remember took place in: Episode 179 (Ukitake and Kyouraku try to angle Amagai into a threesome). This had a clearer shot of the sign, and it's definitely the same as the lantern.

Ep 305 (Kira and Hisagi go for drinks after work and run into Unohana having "Ladies' Night" with Soi Fon, the Kotetsu sisters, and Yachiru ????)

And finally, Episode 265 (the end of the Sword Beasts arc, Ladies' Night again, I guess, this time with zanpakutou)

and bingo, they actually translated it for me, this time!!

In, the only one that didn't turn out to take place at Izakaya Kamenoya was from Ep. 303, the first New Year's episode. The SWA holds their holiday luncheon here (the sign says 茶屋, or "tea house") .

It is also not the place where Rukia and Renji announce their engagement in WDKALY, that place is called Safflower, and it's fancier and it's specifically mentioned that it's way classier than everyone's usual digs.

That's neither here nor there, let's get back to Izakaya Kamenoya!

Later on, like when I was 90% of the way through writing this post, I realized there was an earlier shot of the sign in episode 172 that was also translated (which I thought I remembered and then assumed I had hallucinated when I couldn't find it, but it was from a separate trip to bar with Kibune and Kira's shitty subordinates). Conveniently, it's also probably the most readable out of all of them. EDIT: I didn't notice when I pasted this in here, but they translate it as Kamegameya here, which seems like a mistake? B3 suggests they might have read the second character as a repetition (with the k turning into a g, which I don't know all the details of, but I assume it's that thing that happens in Japanese when a word is in the interior of another word and it gets a harder consonant, the same way the s in "sakura" in Senbonzakura becomes a z). Google also tells me that the name of Yugi's grandfather's game shop in Yu-Gi-Oh is called Kame Game, so I wonder if the subtitler here was just working on muscle memory 😂. I'm sticking with Kamenoya, although Turtle Turtle Bar has its own charm)

The three characters in the upper left are 居酒屋, which is just a different way to spell izakaya.

"Kame" was easy to translate, it's the leftmost large character on the sign, 亀. It means "turtle", but the second meaning is "heavy drinker," so I'm guessing this might be a bit of a pun. Unfortunately, googling didn't turn up any further detail on this.

I puzzled a little over the middle character, until I realized that it might be 之, which is an older version of の. Oh, says me, who only speaks the Japanese I picked up from anime, it's Kame no ya, the way all the inns in Kakuriyo end in "ya." It just means "House of the Turtle", or "Turtle's Pub."

Turtle's Pub. Can we just take a moment to reflect on the fact that the lieutenants (and sometimes captains) like to hang out at someplace called Turtle's? I am so charmed by this. I have not been so excited since the time I realized that Renji was wearing the koi hoodie in the Bount Arc OP.

It's possible that it was just named by a guy who has "kame" as part of his name or who likes turtles, or as I said, maybe it's a pun, but there are two other possibilities I thought of:

In line with this post on the naming scheme for the Seireitei Gates, perhaps it's in the north part of the city, and named after Genbu the Black Tortoise-Snake

When I am making up business names in my fanfic, I often like to associate them with the squads they are near-- dragons for stuff near Squad 10, fish for 13, firebirds for things that are more city-wide. It's partially trying to tap into squad solidarity, and partially so people have a clue where your place is located in this stupid maze city. I love the idea of some former captain with a turtle-themed zanpakutou, whose is fondly remembered because someone happened to name a good bar after them.

I looked up that extremely questionable Blood War era Seireitei map, wondering if maybe Squad 3 was near the north gate:

It turns out it is not (assuming the unlabeled squads just go in order), but you know what is? Squad 10. So if Kamenoya is named after the North Gate, I assume everyone drinks there because it's close to Matsumoto.

(thank you very much to @kaicko for checking my work)

#izakaya kamenoya #posts you bring to your autism assessment #this is probably going to be a part one of three i have a *lot* of interior shots i want to talk about #thank you for coming on this translation journey with me i'm kind of an idiot but i had fun #for the record i did try throwing these in google lens and it said ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so i had to do it myself #this is especially funny to me b/c my local state university has a turtle mascot so we literally *do* have a lot of bars named after turtle #turtle bar turtle bar TURTLE BAR #if anyone has any additional sightings please feel let me know! #do you think byakuya has ever been to izakaya kamenoya? i feel like he got dragged there occasionally as a lt and he hates it deeply #anyone know how to campaign for a new bleach wiki article? asking for a friend

[eternal-love]

Austin and Me

“Fairytale wedding”

“Wife to the ‘king’. Icon to the world. Destined for more.”

Summary: At 18 years old, she fell in love with Austin, at 20 years old, she became his wife, by 22, she was his doll. In which Cynthia’s life changed drastically after falling head over heels with a man that promised her the moon and the stars. She takes us down the memory lane of what could’ve been— the perfect marriage.

Inspired by the book: Elvis and me by Priscilla Presley.

I do not condemn any of the portrayals I decide to do about certain people, it’s just fanfiction. And it would be divided in parts.

English isn’t my first language so I’m trying my best!

Part 1, Part 2

Weddings are supposed to be big and beautiful days for the bride to celebrate her upcoming life, well mine wasn’t. Being pregnant before marriage was a huge no with my parents, so I was terrified to tell them. I was 20! I wasn’t even out of their house yet. I had to tell Austin first, but I was terrified, what if he didn’t want to have a baby? He was 27.

At first he was perplexed, he blinked a thousand times more than I’ve ever seen anyone in my life. I was ready for him to shout and blame me but he didn’t.

“I’m gonna be a daddy…” Austin muttered under his breath before a smile appeared on his face. He grabbed me and kissed me all over the face. “We’re gettin’ married, baby!”

I was giggling excitedly, it was the weirdest thing I’ve ever lived. Ever since I was a young girl, I’ve always dreamed of having a romantic proposal— not this. But I read the room and un destroys that he was short on money. We thrifted my rings that same night, to me it was beautiful.

I waited a while before telling my parents, we were having dinner at him. My mom and dad sat besides each other in front of me, meanwhile my younger sister and brother sat on each side of me. I had kept my hand hidden and kept trying to use my left hand but the excitement got to me.

“I’m getting married.” I said nervously as I showed off my ring.

“You’re what?” My mother put her utensils down slowly, so did my dad.

“Austin… proposed.” I stuttered once again. “I said yes.”

“You do know what this means, do you, Cynthia?” My father said sternly as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“I know…” I knew he wanted me out of the house as soon as the wedding took place, I would only be able to visit home and never stay here again, just like my older sister did. “I’ll be out of the house once the reception is done.”

After dinner I was in my room, dreading the decision I made hours ago, was I even ready to be married? I loved Austin but to spend all my life with him. Soon enough my mom and younger sister were there with me, laying in bed, talking to each other.

“Y te juro que el me hablo pero bien lindo, ¿cómo lo iba a rechazar? (And I swear he talked to me sweetly, how could I reject him?)” I groaned to my mother, my little sister giggled.

“Yo se, yo se (I know, I know).” My mother rubbed my head softly. At the end of the day, I’d only have my mother to cry to.

“Can I be a bridesmaid?” My 12 year old sister asked excitedly, the same exact excitement I felt when my older sister got married and I had the privilege of being one of her bridesmaids.

“Of course.” I told her with a big smile.

————————————

I always wanted to have a big wedding, like the ones of fairytales. With the big dress and big wedding, I tried to tell Austin that but he was quick to always shut down my wishes.

“Baby, a big wedding it’s just too much work for the both of us. And I ain’t going to risk our baby.” Austin said as he placed his hand on my lower stomach.

“I know I just— I’ve always dreamed of my wedding being big and beautiful.” I said softly as I then pressed my lips together.

“Now— what happened to the twinkle in your eyes?” Austin rubbed my cheek softly. “All that matter is that we’ll be husband and wife, and that we’ll have a small baby with us…”

He made me feel as if wanting a big wedding was just a silly and egoistic wish, how dare I want to stress myself planning wedding and harming his baby on the process?

We looked through a bunch of salons for the reception and we ended up finding one we both liked. It was pretty and small, to keep it private like Austin wanted. I already had on mind how I wanted to look that day, my mind was all over Priscilla Presley’s wedding look. I wanted that bouffant and a similar dress, I was already skinny but with the pregnancy— I looked bloated. I needed a vintage wedding dress and so I went on the look out for one. Austin had bought himself a nice tuxedo, he had recently dyed his hair black because of a Broadway play he was doing.

The day of the actual wedding, I was excited beyond belief. I woke up at 4 AM, so did my mother and sisters. I did my makeup on my own but my room was a mess, my older sister, Jackie and my younger sister, Pattie, we’re getting ready there with me. I did my usual glam— just this time I added three pairs of falsies, Jackie helped me do my hair that day, she helped me tease it into a bouffant, then my mother helped me put on my veil. I would be lying if I said my father didn’t cry, it was the first time I saw him cry in all my life, he just hugged me tight.

The wedding was quick, we said our vows but the good part would be the reception. As we entered the salon, the guests were already there as ‘Venus’ by Frankie Avalon played on the background, I felt so— lucky. I was marrying who I thought was the love of my life.

“I’m so happy, baby.” Austin said as we sat at our table, he was squeezing my hand.

“Me too.” I whispered back to him.

My dad ended up accepting Austin as my husband, as he watched how Austin handled me so tenderly, how his big hands cupped my face, how his hand wandered around my waist as we talked to guests, how he kissed my cheeks countless of times.

“My little girl’s gonna be a good wife.” *My dad told Austin as they shook hands. Then my dad walked up to me and hugged me again, crying again as he took a step back to watch me. “Mija, tú sabes que tu mamá y yo siempre vamos a estar para lo que tú necesites (Mija, you know that your mama and I will always be here whenever you need us.)” My father said sweetly.

I cried a lot that day too, I never wanted to stop living with my family, we were very close, but I was maturing and growing up, I was starting my own family and I had to be strong.

Austin and I got married on February 12th, 2018, while I was one month into my pregnancy. We went back to his house, he carried me bridal style and laid me on the bed, he got on top of me, he kissed me.

“My wife.” He whispered softly before kissing me passionately.

It’s not like it would be my first time with him— but it felt magical. I don’t know why I felt so taken care of. I was scared, I never knew you could have sex while being pregnant, but he told me he had been doing his research. He made sweet love to me that night.

I was now Mrs. Butler— it had a nice ring to it.

I know some of y’all might not like Austin on this fanfic! He might be an asshole half the time.

#austin butler imagine #austin butler #austinbutler #austin butler fic #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler x reader #elvis and me #priscilla presley

[newhectorroso49]

When I was just 18 years old and not finding a job, I took a lifeguard course to earn money in the summer. The teacher was older but had a sexy and spatial appeal; On the last day of school I helped her pick up while everyone was leaving quickly. In gratitude, she told me that if I would accompany her to carry some things that she lived nearby, I couldn't object and went with her. She lived on the top floor of an old apartment. I left my things but I got a beer in gratitude and we started chatting amicably about more personal things. I found out that she had been divorced for 6 years and that she had a son a little older than me and that he works in another city. before leaving and without realizing it she pounced on me on the sofa and kissed me, I didn't know how to react at first but when she offered me her expert tongue, my nervous hands ran over it, she noticed my inexperience and she was the one who taught me, she knew Give me enough patience to savor a woman of her experience. He taught me what he could make such a delicious mouth, accompanied by his fleshy lips and his skillful tongue; It became my obsession, I visited her every day, sometimes even twice, she offered me and taught me how to dilate and soak each of her holes, she sent me lewd voice messages, she became my whore, she was obsessed with my body to whom she adored and gave herself without limits, I wanted to leave her on several occasions, because people were talking about us and it reached my mother's ears that she reproached me, but she was so clever that in the end we always ended up in her lair where I owed him over and over again. I had to be unpleasant to get her to leave me, but she still congratulates me on each of my birthdays and on the first second of every New Year's Eve, without fail...I know she doesn't forget me, and I don't forget her either.

-----_------_-------_-------_-------_---------_

cuando tenia 18 años recién cumplidos y al no encontrar trabajo hice un curso de socorrista para ganar un dinero en verano, la profesora era mayor pero guardaba un atractivo sexy y espacial; el último dia de curso la ayude a recoger mientras todos se iba rapido, ella en agradecimiento me dijo que si la acompañaba a llevar unas cosas que vivia cerca, no pude oponerme y la acompañe, vivia en el último piso de un antiguo edificio. deje sus cosas pero me saco una cerveza en agradecimiento y comenzamos a charla amistosamente de cosas mas personales, supe que era divorciada desde hacia ya 6 años y que tenia un hijo algo mas mayor que yo y que trabaja en otra ciudad. antes de marcharme y sin dame cuenta se abalanzo sobre mi en el sofá y me beso, no supe reaccionar en un principio pero cuando me ofrecio su lengua experta, mis manos nerviosas la recorrian, se notaba mi inesperiencia y fue ella la que me enseño, supo darme la suficiente paciencia para saborear una mujer de su experiencia. Me enseño que podia hacer una boca tan deliciosa, acompañada de sus labios carnosos y su habil lengua; Se convirtio en mi obsesión la visitaba todos los dias, a veces hasta dos veces, me ofrecio y me enseño a dilatar y a empapar cada uno de sus agujeros, me mandaba mensajes de voz lascivos, se convirtió en mi puta, estaba obsesionada con mi cuerpo al que adoraba y se entregaba si límites, quise dejarla en varias ocasiones, por qué la gente hablaba de nosotros y llego a oidos de mi madre que me lo reprocho, pero era tan hábil que al final siempre acabábamos en su guarida donde me devoraba lentamente una y otra vez. Tuve que ser desagradable para que me dejara, pero aun me felicita en cada uno de mis cumpleaños y en el primer segundo de cada fin de años, sin falta...se que no me olvida, y yo tampoco la olvido a ella.

[puffybee-dreams]

April 1865

Character: Iba (Hakuoki) x Ellie (OC)

CW: Slight mentions of War; Archery

Word Count: 2170

Comments: I wrote this literally YEARS ago. But! Here it is! It's one of my favorite Ellie fics. I had to edit some of it so hopefully it sounds good! Thanks for reading!!

The morning light shone into the courtyard of the compound men who were still sleeping finally stirred from the futons all while Ellie stood among the men giving orders and directions to her morning class of future marksmen. Some of the lower-ranking men had been startled by her suddenly commanding presence. Up to this point she had been soft, polite, sweet even. Yet in this moment, transgression wasn’t at all tolerated in the presence of the mistress of the courtyard. Her assistants, Shinpachi & Sanosuke, hardly had time to correct the young men before she was on their ass. 

“Non! The left!” Her voice barked. The men only quietly obeyed. None wanted to meet the same fate as the first young man this morning who dared comment on the fact that they wouldn’t take orders from a woman.

“And why would I take orders from you? A woman’s job is to serve a man.” 

A loud resounding smack was heard as Shinpachi approached. Ellie gripped the man's ear and leaned in so close their noses were almost touching. 

“Listen well, you incompetent fuck. What matters is not the sex of the warrior. What matters is their aim and their ability to kill. If you’ve any problems with this I suggest you have a personal chat with Commander Hijikata.” 

Shinpachi watched, mouth agape. Sano came over and whistled. “I think we have a new assistant for training.” 

Shinpachi just watched on before snapping back to reality and smiling. 

“You tell ‘em, lil’ sis.” 

Ellie only shot him a grin before turning quickly and rattling out a new order.

Hijikata joined the bustling crowd with a grin on his face. He had witnessed her disciplinary plans and could only watch with a bemused smile. Seeing the four targets set up and men beginning to drift in and out of the way, filled him with a sort of pride. He was the one who gave the okay to organize this little training camp after all. Narrow eyes scanned the courtyard until his gaze finally landed on the dot of red perched on one of the compound walls. They were waiting on one single guest at this point. 

Ellie watched the perimeter and checked the wind pull from her perch atop the stone wall. The wind was coming from the east, but rather gently, she decided. Sanosuke joined her shortly after, his broad shoulder reaching the height of her dangling feet. He and Shinpachi had only been allowed to be her aids after they had passed her far too rigorous beginner training in the previous weeks. 

“You’re waiting until he gets here to start?” 

She smiled down at her fellow redhead. “Of course. I have to keep him on his toes.” 

The woman kicked her feet a bit as she waited for an all too familiar Okuzume to show himself. Blue eyes keenly watched the entrance to the courtyard as a familiar shadow appeared behind a particular shoji. Quietly, she nocked an arrow and took her aim. The post she locked her aim on was just next to where he would stand. 

Sano looked up at her, suddenly horrified.  “Oi, what are you…” 

He trailed off as she let the arrow fly, the sound turning heads. The shock caused even more heads to turn as the arrow from her bow landed no further than 12 centimeters from his left ear.

Shaking his head with a bemused smile and sigh, Iba looked at his dear friend. “Hello to you too, Ellie.” 

Kotaro immediately was set on edge and started scolding the young woman. “Ellie! You could have seriously hurt someone!” 

Hijikata only shook his head, sighing. The woman, on the other hand, spoke to the crowd of men. “Control will be the most crucial thing in your training. Had I no control, our dear guest here would have been dispatched and I would have been too. You will not shoot at others during your training. Do I make myself clear?” 

An awestruck hush blanketed the courtyard. Ellie frowned and lifted her chin before bellowing. 

“DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?”

 A loud affirmative shout filled the courtyard as she jumped down and gestured to her male companions.

 “Pass out the Yumi. I’m gonna go welcome our guest.” 

Knowing their close relationship, Shinpachi could only bellow with laughter before he barked orders at the men to line up. Ellie slipped the body of her bow across her chest and trotted over before giving Hachiro a tight hug. 

“Sorry, I didn’t warn you sooner. I only had the idea this morning.” 

He shook his head. “It’s fine. I expect these kinds of shenanigans from you. And besides, I trust no single archer in all of Japan more than I trust you.” 

Feeling her face flush from the compliment she elbowed him softly. “I’m supposed to be in charge here. Don’t start flattering me now. I may go easy on you when I teach you.” 

His face dropped. “But...I was just invited to watch. Your letter said-” 

She smirked at him. “A small white lie. Payback of course.” 

She then turned on her heels, his eyes watching her as she walked away, noting the hakama on her legs swaying in the wind despite being bandaged in place. He couldn’t help but marvel at the way her voice, usually so kind and gentle, bounced off of the walls as if it were Hijikata speaking instead of the female.

“OKAY MEN! LISTEN UP!”

~~~

The sun was hot on everyone’s shoulders and necks. By this point, many of the men wondered where this small French woman got her commanding voice. Coupled with the fact that she was supported by Shinpachi and Sanosuke only filled them with more unease. Yet this was the selfsame woman who in the most cocksure manner possible left to and from Edo on diplomacy trips and information exchanges. 

Hachiro, on the other hand, watched in complete awe. He was swiftly reminded why he often questioned his desire to protect her. She was clearly well-trained and taught to take care of herself. These trains of thought often stirred warm thoughts of her missing father. They both searched for the missing man nearly constantly. He hadn’t dared to tell her the truth. How was he supposed to tell her that the shogunate was quickly losing interest in their search; that soon they would be the last two to care? He couldn’t let her down but he couldn’t deny that she had likely already noticed his visits and subsequently their trips were becoming less and less frequent. 

He just didn’t have it in him to break her heart like that. 

The men were dismissed for lunch and subsequently freed from their lessons. Ellie, now glistening with a healthy sheen of sweat, trotted over to Iba smiling widely. “What did you think?”

 He smiled at her, passing her a towel. “Your skills are quite impressive. One would think you’ve been doing this your whole life.” 

He teased her jovially as she scrunched up her nose. 

“I have. My father wouldn’t have had it any other way.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

 Shortly after the lighthearted exchange, Inoue brought the pair a small platter of onigiri. After their polite and formal “thank you’s” were shared the pair were left alone in the otherwise vacant courtyard. Picking the nori off of her rice ball, Ellie made a face as she laid it on the plate. 

Her male companion shook his head, tousling his brown locks. “You still have no taste for it?” 

She stuck her tongue out. “Not at all. If anything it tastes worse every time I try it.” 

A chuckle bubbled past his lips as they ate their lunch in peace. It was such a stark contrast to the events of the morning where Ellie - the woman, as Iba knew her, was replaced by Ellie - the Colonel’s daughter, as she was known by all the men here. If he hadn’t known her any better he would have been shocked beyond all measure. 

Once Ellie had finished eating she wasted no time standing up and grabbing her personal Yumi, a gift from her companion himself. 

“Now. It’s your turn.” 

She held the bow out to him. His eyes widened as he saw her smile, kinder still than the one that warped her face in a look of complete satisfaction as men finally understood the bare-bones basics of shooting an arrow. 

He lifted both of his hands in front of him, waving them back and forth slightly. 

“I'm sure I'll only disappoint you. After all, your shooting is second to none. And I have my katana. I haven't any need for a bow or archery skills." 

Ellie pulled her lips back in an unconvinced smile. "Are you scared to shoot a bow?"

 Hachiro looked at her, indignant. "I have two blades at my hip. Weapons don't scare me." 

She then lifted her chin proudly. "Ohhhh so you're afraid of looking foolish in front of a pretty girl, is that it?" 

His cheeks began to flush a rosy shade. That was his fear exactly. 

Gathering his dignity he stood, sighing. She certainly knew how to push his buttons. She grabbed the sleeve of his kimono, pulling him towards the middle of the courtyard among the scattered arrows she would have to clean up after the fact. The young man allowed himself to be pulled and placed into position. He never doubted her shooting. He remembered seeing her father train with her. 

Anton had been relentless. He would throw cheap pottery scraps for her to shoot and hound her with orders and commands. In those moments she was no different than a soldier in training. Being removed from his memory, the young diplomat sighed as Ellie placed the bow in his hands. She stood in front of him and looked him over with a smile. 

"You look so... uncomfortable. I'll go easy on you. I promise. This is more for fun than anything. It's useful to know of course. But… I don’t know. Perhaps I wanted to spend time with my friend." 

Her smirk melted into something much softer as she eyed him and helped him nock an arrow. 

"Okay. I'm standing behind you. Just pull back and let it go." 

Iba pulled the weapon up into the air as he'd seen her do so many times before. Pulling back was difficult. He hadn't expected the string to be so unforgiving. Ellie held back a soft giggle as he tried his best to force the string into position. Once he finally got it pulled back to any extent he let go of the fletching gripped in his fingers. 

The pair watched as the arrow, flying in an all too anticlimactic arc, clattered to the ground, staring back as if it were mocking the prestigious swordsman. Sighing, he straightened his shoulders and tried again only to achieve the same result. Pressing a fist to her lips, Ellie nodded as he reached for another arrow she softly stepped towards him.

Feeling her arms securely around him caused Hachiro to freeze a bit, nearly fumbling to grab the arrow. "Here, I'll help you." 

Before she did anything she snorted. "Well, first of all, your stance is terrible. Here." Her hands grabbed his hips and adjusted them. 

"Your shooting is very loose. You're trying to sword fight with a bow. Tighten up here." She adjusted his right leg. 

"But loosen up here." her hand went to his sides. 

Her training with the foot soldiers hadn't been nearly this intimate. He was stiff now because she was so close, and maybe it helped his form. He had no idea with his mind as foggy as it was. Shaking his head to collect himself he felt her return to her original position, holding him from behind and supporting the places his hands rested. 

"Now pull back." 

Pulling the cord was much easier from this angle. She smiled and stepped back. 

"Now fire!" 

He let go and hit the outermost edge of the target. But it was a hit nonetheless. 

"Excellent! Now do it again!" Ellie cheered him on. 

Unknowingly his chest puffed out as his ego inflated a bit. Hachiro swiftly and gracefully nocked an arrow and pulled back. It was a bit more difficult but he had barely budged from his position. He couldn't mess up now. He released his fingers and the arrow flew straight and true...right towards the ground. 

Ellie giggled as Hachiro let out an exasperated sigh. 

"You tilted down unknowingly. It happens. But! I think that's enough fun for today. I'm sure Hijikata wants to hear what we thought of the lesson this morning." 

Shaking his head and smiling at her, he happily handed the bow back to her. "That sounds far more pleasant than ruining the landscaping." 

Ellie giggled as she slipped the bow around her. "C'mon then. I'll make some tea too. Shimada picked up a really nice new black tea blend."

#writing! ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ੈ♡‧₊˚ #ellie fic! ₊˚⊹♡ #hakuoki #hakuouki #iba hachirou #i doubt many people look at the hakuoki tag anymore but my friends and i were IN IT a few years back djasasas #I do still think about them from time to time sighs

[marie31joy]

The side unseen

I wish I could share with everyone how you are. I wish I could tell everyone how childish, and narcissistic you truly are. The fact that you appear like a good guy to everyone else frustrates me. How could I have missed the real you before we were married?

Over the past few years, I have made a great effort to put all the sufferings you inflicted behind me because I don’t want to give the kids a broken family. I can still remember how you used to push me away every time I tried to communicate about our relationship and how unavailable emotionally you are every time. It goes on for years. I set everything aside knowing that I am the last thing you will choose over everything in front of you. I am not going to settle for that kind of treatment ever again. Remember when you said "Humanap ka nalang ng iba kasi di ko kaya bigay ang hinihiling mo" on my birthday. I let it all pass. Knowing that I am alone in this relationship. Taking it daily, my heart must have been strong enough to handle everything you have put me through. All the infidelity, the lies, the manipulation, and how you turn things around and make it look like I am the bad person for reacting to the physical, emotional, and mental abuse you put me through. You even called me crazy for saying what I feel. It hurt so bad that I even tried to kill myself. I took a handful of mefenamic acid in front of you and you didn’t even give a flinch and I wondered how I was still alive the next morning. I won't forget the time that I cried and begged for you to love me, but I got up the next day like nothing happened because I didn’t want to give "those people" the satisfaction of seeing me suffer. I won't forget how you treated me when I was pregnant with your child.  Being called “maarte” for the reason I would like to go to the hospital due to excessive nausea. It is because of hyperemesis but you still insist na pwede naman pigilan? I vomited blood. Like WTF, I was carrying the little child inside of me for you to think that I am intentionally harming myself. I just want to remind you the time I asked you to buy me food in the middle of the night because I was hungry and you bought me fried chicken from 711 when I already told you I don't want to eat fried food, and throw that packet of food straight to my face? While im fucking pregnant and was just asking for food in the middle of the night? I can still vividly remember everything that happened during those many nights that I begged to talk to you. I can still tell the pain of how I begged to be loved until the day I started begging for you to let me go.

I tried to get help from people who love you enough to talk to you, expecting somehow you will listen to them and will change for the better, for the sake of this family that we created. They loved you enough that all they could say was "pag pasensyahan mo na" to justify all you are doing and make it all valid. During those times that you were having an affair, I tried to talk to them too, but the first thing that came out to their mouth was "O sinong may kasalanan?" I was waiting for them to talk to you and teach you accountability. There was a time too that I told her about us having a fight, she told me na “kaya nga tinutulungan para di mag away.” Like ako ba lagi dahilan ng gulo? Did someone ever ask kung anong nagawa mo? Wala! All they can see is that I burst and fought. Without asking the reason for what happened. I know to myself that I am not going to explode unless I have too much. Yes, I am taking note of everything, hoping that someday I will get enough courage to expose what I have been through. Don't get me wrong, I am never a perfect wife, but I never intentionally do things that I know will ruin trust or anything. I even talk to church people but all I hear is that "gawin mo lahat ng makakaya mo, patawarin mo pero pag di parin ng bago, hindi mo na pananagutan yan sa harap ng Panginoon." Well, you did change and stopped having an affair but the way you treated me still says otherwise. I started questioning God why I needed to suffer that much from you. It is ruining me and everything in me. My mental health as well as I started to question my sanity.

The way you choose to ruin the business we've built so hard shows how irresponsible you truly are. Though you managed to fix it all on your own, I cannot trust you again as I know you were in circles and will repeat the pattern over and over, as well as the other businesses we've started, somehow did not grow, because you will choose to use the business money when problems arise rather than find another way to solve them. The ending is that I lost the fuckn business. I even booked your appointment to get your passport just to know na hindi mo kinuha dahil mahaba ang pila. I really would like both of us to come to Australia and build a life for the children, but it seems that we're not on the same page of the book. 

Don’t get me wrong again, pumunta ako dito na dala ko ang pangarap na makukuha kita at ang mga anak ko balang araw. Di ako pumunta dito para takasan ka or so, but do you remember the time when I told you that I was going to cut everyone who was not aligned with the dreams I have for my children? You never listen, you didn't take it seriously. As far as I can remember, I fixed and planned everything for your life to be easy before I left. From the very first month I arrived here, you ruined everything. I keep receiving chats from people about this and that and those are not going well. I tried to communicate but all I received was "Anong kailangan mo?!" You're saying na lagi akong galit kausap so you are not talking to me? While it should be the other way around. I am mad because you are not communicating with me. I lost 7kg in 3 months due to stress or maybe depression. How about the time I told you how alone and abandoned I felt because you could go days without checking on me? You answered, "Iniisip naman kita, kailangan pa ba ipamukha? " That is dumb! I went through a lot of suicidal thoughts and wanted to cut myself and all. I was alone and away. Having panic attacks all day and never-ending pain and noises running through my mind. For you to tell me that I am only looking after myself here, but you don’t understand everything that I am doing is for you and the children.

Whatever my decision was, has nothing to do with you or anyone else. I didn't even think of getting even. It's just about me my children and my happiness. If you think that I am doing things for revenge, sorry, I am not even thinking of you. I am moving on while in this relationship until one day, it's gone. Just know that it took me years and years to get the courage to let everything go. I woke up one day, I’m done crying and hurting. I somehow see myself mirroring the things you are putting me through. Thinking you might see yourself in me. Hindi ito "ganun ganun lang" and that for 13 years, na puro mali mo lang nakikita ko? FYI those things that you did are your responsibility and why would you even expect to be commended for the things that you should naturally be doing for your family? I have waited for years and years for you to man up and get your shit together. You should be the one in here and I should be at home taking care of my children. Please know that I can't wait forever. I know what I bring to the table and if you can't prove that we need you, you’re out. I made up my mind and all I think about is giving the best life to the children that I have birthed and my happiness. Don’t ever question the love I have for them. Don’t even question the loyalty I have for you all through those years, you know I stayed through everything. I risk everything just so I can get the life I always dreamed of.

I am not going to convince anyone. My real folks know how I had been treated and abused from the very beginning. They know how I keep showing big smiles and showing up to work with bruises on my face and body. They even mistaken me for going into dialysis because the bruises on my arm were so bad and that is ridiculous. We laugh it off and move on like everything is fine. They know how I endured being in this narcissistic relationship and how I tried and tried to fix anything for the sake of this family.  I am tired of minding what everyone thinks. All I have now is the dream that someday I will be able to give my children a better life. I am not going to make myself smaller just to make you comfortable and I am also tired of being the bigger person na laging umuunawa. I want to be heard at some point pero pinili ko manahimik and endure all the bullshit you are putting me through. I need to be wise for the boys. It disappointed me when my family asked me to fix it for the sake of the children. Why would I fix something I did not break? I would rather have a broken family than have my children grow up in a traumatic environment. It is funny too that you asked me if we can still be friends. That I can open up with you if something is bothering me here? Like you should have done that while we are together. I don't need you and I don't need your fake ass telling me you wanted to be friends with me. I am cutting you off and deleting you in my life. My whole life with you was all chaos and lies.

Puro nalang daw ba masasamang bagay naalala ko? Pano naman daw ang magagandang bagay na nagawa nya? Like ano? Hatid sundo saakin sa trabaho, pag hahanda ng food para sa mga bata habang tulog ako? Ano pa? The only beautiful thing you gave me was my children. To tell you honestly, what you are doing is the bare minimum. Anong ipagmamalaki mo saakin? Ang unisilver na wedding ring? Ang mga loans mo na ako nakinabang? Sino ba mas nagpapakahirap mabayaran lahat yan? You want me to do the wife thing while all you do is to give me craps and scraps. To the point that if I allow you to handle everything, wala kang gagawin kundi sirain. And no! Not this time. I have been covering you with my light. I have been doing the work in this relationship and all you think is yourself. You were sleeping while I work at night, I was taking care of the children in the morning while you work and I will sleep when someone takes over to look after them. Tapos isusumbat mo pa sakin ang mga bagay na nagawa mo para saakin, when should it be your responsibility?

But wait, there's more. I left my dogs with you knowing you know how to take care of them. I have access to the CCTV to check on my dogs daily until one day I lose the access. I am asking you everyday if you have fed the dogs and if they are being washed, I keep ordering dog foods and anti tick medication only to know they are not being fed and washed since I left. And that you only feed them whenever you want to. Mauna mo pang paliguan ang motor bago ang mga aso. Until one of them died. That's the time I figured out how terrible their conditions are with you. They are infested with ticks and that is the reason they died. I am so guilty leaving my dear baby dogs with you. You are so cruel to them. Nakakatawa how you have the guts to post their pics like you lost something you have loved dearly, but in reality, they died of negligence. Nakakatawa how you have been posting on facebook how you choose distance over disrespect when I have all the rights to get mad at you, for ruining the business, finances, feeding my children funshots for dinner after buying parts for your new motorcycle, and killing my dogs? What else do you want to ruin in my life? I stayed silent away from you even though it kills me to know na wala ako nagawa to protect everything. You have ruined everything I left in your hands. Sana masaya ka sa ginawa mo. I wish you all the best.

Binigo ko nanaman ang mga tumaya. I had a bad habit of disappointing people but this time I will choose myself. Please forgive me for all the choices I made, you know what you did, and you know that it took me years to have this courage to finally get out of the situation. I am not coming back, even if you ruin everything, I worked so hard for and have me deported, I am not coming back to you. And for my family, I am tired being the bigger person. It gets me nowhere. I am tired of being asked to keep quiet to keep the peace when it crushes me from within. I know that I am going to disappoint you all again, but this time I am saying this most humbly. I am choosing myself.

#abuse survivor #emotional abuse #narcissistic abuse #relationship #physical abuse #mental abuse

[doomxdriven]

Drabble: A commotion in Inuzuri District

Two Shinigami stand outside a rundown shop in Rukongai's Inuzuri District, the setting sun in the distance signalling that their daily patrol of the area was soon coming to an end. It had been a mostly uneventful day, with the highlight of today's patrol so far being the breakup of a bar brawl between too elderly souls-- a truly riveting ordeal. These two Shinigami were about ready to buy their snacks from the shop they had stopped by, and afterward, they likely would have started trudging back to the Seireitei where they would hand in their reports and then turn in for the night, but suddenly, they can hear a man shouting outside.

"Heed my words, citizens of Inuzuri, we come to you today with a grand message of salvation!"

"What's that?" The younger and lower ranked of the two Shinigami said, turning his head around to the shop's door.

The other Shinigami, an older gentleman who recognized the shouting, heaved a deep sigh, and replied, "Probably one of those Kido Corps nutjobs out recruiting."

"The Kido Corps?" The younger Shinigami peeks out of the shop's door, and outside, a few hundred feet away, a crowd had gathered. Standing before that crowd, atop a makeshift stage, was a man clad in white and purple robes, their face mostly hidden behind a strange half-mask that bore the Kido Corps's trademark emblem. "Huh, yep, that looks like them alright. I thought those guys only took people from the Shin'o Academy, what the hell are they doing out here?"

"That's how it used to be," the senior Shinigami said, walking over to his patrol partner and looking out the door with them, almost wincing at the sight before them, and at the words that were coming out of that Kido Corps member's mouth, "they wouldn't even consider someone if they weren't acing Kido in the Academy, but something changed a while back, after that war with the Quincy. That said, I've never seen the Kido Corps pulling this stunt so deep in Rukongai, this is new."

The Kido Corps member on the makeshift stage throws his arms up, and continues shouting, "…. the Kido Corps offers you a chance to weather the coming storm, a chance to better your life, and the lives of those you love!" More members of the Kido Corps climb onto the makeshift stage, and in turn, more people flock to toward it, the crowd growing larger by the second. "The animals of the Gotei 13 and Onmitsukido would see you slave away in their Academy for a chance to lift yourself out of the slums, and would see those who they deem 'unworthy' rot away, but hear me now fair citizens, the Kido Corps welcomes all with open arms!"

"Wh- what? You hear this guy?" The younger Shinigami says, looking and sounding a little agitated, mostly at the thought of being likened to an 'animal', or so than anything else. "If Captain Iba heard this crap….!"

The senior Shinigami shakes their head, "It's bullshit, I know. I remember hearing that the Head Captain went before Central 46 to complain about this exact shit, too, but I guess nothing ever came of it." The senior Shinigami narrows his eyes at the preaching Kido Corps member, but then he turns to his patrol partner and waves a hand, "No matter, let's just get out of here before we're blocked in, this crowd's getting ridiculously huge."

While the two Shinigami now tried to make their way through the crowd and out of Inuzuri, the Kido Corps member who had been shouting before, continues doing so, only this time, he sets his eyes on the two Shinigami in the crowd,though he doesn't specifically address them. "With us you and your family's will never know hunger again, never know fear again. With us, you will learn to harness your true potential, potential that the Shinigami would see wasted." The shouting Kido Corps member steps forward, toward the edge of that makeshift stage they stood upon, "But most of all, dear citizens of Inuzuri, with us, you will be safe from the terrors to come; The Jaws of Hell have opened wide, and it's flame will soon come for the wicked of this world."

The senior Shinigami would stop in his tracks just then, the mention of 'Hell', reminding him of something he had heard from his Captain not too long ago.

The younger Shinigami stops along with their patrol partner, but seems more confused than anything else, elbowing his partner and saying, "Why're we stopping? Come on lets get the fuck out of here, this guys going to make my ears bleed."

The senior Shinigami looks up at the shouting Kido Corps member, and notices that they too, are staring directly at him. At this point, the senior Shinigami looks away, and grabs his patrol partner by the arm, forcing his way through the increasingly rowdy crowd with them. "I'm with you, let's get out of here. I'm getting bad feelings from this guy..."

"Central 46 will not protect you," The shouting Kido Corps member continues, their eyes still firmly trained on the two Shinigami who were on their way out of the crowd, a wicked grin formed beneath their mask, "the Nobility will not protect you, and the wretched Shinigami will certainly not raise their blades to your defense, but our great teacher, our Commander, will help you weather the coming storm, he alone, will help you on the path toward a Greater Ascension while the rest of existence burns. So join us, brothers and sisters," The other Kido Corps members on the stage with the one who had been shouting begin handing out books, robes, and strange tools to those in the crowd, "stand with us and together, not even the howls from the jaws of hell will shake our resolve!" The crowd who had gathered around the makeshift stage of Kido Corps members begins to cheer, and from the stage, members of the Kido Corps begin handing out robes, books, food, and other items. As this occurs, however, the member who had been shouting before watches the two Shinigami flee into the distance, and under his breath, he mutters devilishly, "That's right, Shinigami, flee. Salvation, ascension, these things are not for your kind; the flames will bathe your wicked flesh, and find your souls wanting."

#headcanons: bansui #//technically ban doesnt appear in this drabble but it involves the kido corps and what he has them doing and also 👀 #//maybe a few nods at some other things #//basically an addition to my ban+kido corps lore

[unohanadaydreams]

Don’t ask me why I made this, just know that I’m right and this is not just a Headcanon post but real. It’s not me having brain worms haha that would be insane. Honestly I just started thinking about how the hell arc introducing Seireitei approved social media would be such a mistake but god would it be fun to watch.

The Current Captains On Social Media

Shunsui Kyoraku - Failed erotic novel author turned romance/erotic novel reviewer. The fan base for his work is very small compared to his actual following. There is some divide in his followers—those who follow for his life updates and those who want to hear him talk at length about his latest read. Funnily enough, his quick, messy posts usually paired with scenery or a selfie are his most popular writing, often hailed as snippets of his poetic soul. Lots of people want to give him a hug.

Soi Fon - Adamant privacy and safety poster. Took to code and anti-virus technology well, much to Mayuri’s annoyance. Posts tips and tricks that read more like demands. Is known for her bitchy responses when followers @ her with their progress that are eaten up gratefully. Her advice is punctuated by posts admiring athletic women and these women make up the bulk of who she follows. She seems to admire runners and lifters the most. Her threatening posts when people hit on her too hard/with too many notes to back them up are turned into copypastas.

Rose Otoribashi - Has one of the larger followings thanks to his nostalgic visuals as well as his dedication to frequently posting new music. He has a personality that’s easily digestible when viewed through snippets. The fact that his passion is music and his job is news/editing also do him a lot of favors. He loves doing live streams and encourages his followers to perform for & with him.

Isane Kotetsu - Her growth being captured on social media not just as a captain but as a person has given her a fan base that feels extremely protective of her. She’s less known for what content she brings and more for her personality. Any creative content she posts is likely to start trending. Especially her ‘peaceful morning’ videos and reflective writing. She’s one of the more interactive posters, beloved for her encouraging responses.

Shinji Hirako - As a more private person, he doesn’t have much of a following and his most popular posts are candid moments posted by others. Lisa is a large reason people consider him endearing in anyway. Definitely the kind of person who is either considered cringe or cool with little in between. The kind of guy who asks what he should do with his hair and then goes with an option that wasn’t listed.

Byakuya Kuchiki - Has an extremely scheduled and curated presence on any site he’s on, but is nonetheless adored. He used to ask Renji and Akon for advice on how to handle some of the more online behavior (like being @ed by women who photoshop them as their date to events or being asked how many notes a date would cost) but stopped quickly. Turns out saying something is flattering leads to more of that behavior. Any selfie he posts is edited and reposted into oblivion until it’s thousands of people’s pfp.

Tetsuzaemon Iba - Despite him being one of the most well rounded captains personality wise, he gets put onto block lists the most for his dedication to concepts of manliness, which are easy concepts to feed to the social media outrage machine. Women’s Association vs Men’s Association is a popular meme where the former is something sensible and the latter is something ineffective/archaic. That being said, he’s also known as a ‘problematic fav’ and people will often post memes about abandoning their feminism for a few minutes to like his selfies and training videos.

Lisa Yadomaru - Another captain with a large love and hate following. Often picked apart for interacting with porn/hentai accounts, thirsting after women openly, and posting pictures alluding to her sexual escapades. Despite her account being regular food for the outrage machine, she doesn’t seem to care or pay attention to it and is forever horny on Main. She posts a lot of candid photos/videos of her friends. Recommends the best fucked up fiction.

Kensei Muguruma - Of course he does cooking videos, but what really does well are his cooking challenges. He forces his lieutenant, friends, and colleagues to compete with him on making a better dish on a time limit and often with other handicaps. Usually wins. His bloopers get a ton of mileage when he posts them. His merch is constantly sold out. People often dress up as him for Halloween/conventions, usually with foam or blow up arms/abs.

Toshiro Hitsugaya - Another captain with a huge following due to him approaching social media with his tireless work ethic. His ice sculptures are very popular and his pop-up galleries sell out in hours. Is actually a huge fan of ‘cozy’ games and is known for having beautiful towns/farms/ect that showcase his attention to detail. He does events in Minecraft sometimes, where he guides people through building large scale projects (and also feels like he’s making friends but that’s left entirely unsaid). A bit harsh, but beloved.

Kenpachi Zaraki - People question if it’s really his account because it’s so random at times, but he posts videos of him mowing down his subordinates during training so it has to be. The odd content includes engaging with easy recipes & activities for toddlers and increasingly complicated punk hairstyles that he really does try out. He also posts weekly, asking for people to volunteer and fight him. The human world especially loves this and he gets a lot of responses. He tries to set up times to fight them but Nanao threatens to delete his accounts and put him on suspension if he attempts to follow through. He posts a lot of post-battle pictures and humans gobble it up. “Just fought *insert ridiculous thing here*” is a huge meme.

Mayuri Kurotsuchi - He is constantly making new accounts and circumventing bans for posting links to his old lab work, that often involves heinous amounts of gore. Actually does have a following, often from those within his own division, those hoping to be in his division, or humans who see him as edgy and a little bit off his rocker, which they think is cool. He posts pictures of himself whenever he switches up his look. And posts Nemuri a lot with unhinged captains about how she’s going to outpace even the head captain and no one could make someone as special & smart as her. Just comes off as a really passionate dad. Plenty of people are convinced he’s a creepy pasta project ran by a dude with a daughter.

Rukia Kuchiki - Like Isane, she’s really loved for who she is rather than creative content. Even her attempts at being stern and ‘captain-like’ are fawned over. She has a line of children’s books, stickers, and notebooks with her cute drawings. Her most popular set was when her daughter contributed. The human world is convinced Renji is her house husband and her life is generally seen as all around ‘goals’. Her posts are riddled with mistakes and very sporadic; she’s posted accidental live streams while she did paperwork and they went viral. She posts tons of candids of her subordinates and family but they are usually blurry or actually videos.

#bleach imagines #bleach headcanons #shunsui kyoraku #soi fon #rose otoribashi #isane kotetsu #shinji hirako #byakuya kuchiki #tetsuzaemon iba #lisa yadomaru #kensei muguruma #toshiro hitsugaya #kenpachi zaraki #mayuri kurotsuchi #rukia kuchiki #Mayuri having conspiracy videos dedicated to him actually fuels me

[villains-promise]

It's almost time for mothers day and I would like to surprise Irina for being the best mom for our MC. Preferably not burning her kitchen. Love you fiction mom <3

Cute, I'll do a little drabble of how they celebrated a holiday similar to mother's day when MC was a bit younger.

"Honey, please go wash off before they get here." Irina requested with a fond smile despite her exasperated tone.

MC groaned but complied, muddy nearly head to toe from playing in the rain with a few of the other kids. They waddled awkwardly to the bathroom and when Irina heard signs of them beginning to wash themself off, Irina walked to their room to grab them some clothes she know they had forgotten.

She knocks gently at the door, before calling out, "I'm tossing some clothes in there, okay?"

"Okay!" With that, she opens the door a crack and tosses the items onto the counter before shutting the door again. "Thanks, mom."

"No problem, dear. Try not to be in there too long, okay? They should be over any minute." Irina warns before moving back to the kitchen, grabbing the last platter to bring to the table. After setting it down, she steps back, hands on her hips as she observes the meal she prepared with a satisfied smile. It wasn't often she could afford to go all-in on a holiday and prepare a big meal, but she took on a bit of a side-gig recently because she knew they hadn't been able to afford much recently and although it was hard and exhausting, she wanted MC to have fond memories looking back on these holidays together.

When the knock came, she shook herself out of her thoughts, hurrying over to the door. Before opening it, she smoothed out her dress, burying any remaining regretful feelings. "Hey!" She welcomed the three inside. Nicholas Munteanu smiled brightly and immediately Irina's eyes dropped to the bandage on his arm. "How's it healing, Nic?"

"I think it's healing very well, thanks to you, Rina."

"I'm gonna be a healer. That way dad doesn't go into debt over this." Raz smiles brightly, despite the words, which only causes the three adults to laugh. They’ve always been so sweet in a disarming way that Irina truly believes they would grow up to be a healer. Maybe even a priest and practice iba, unlike her.

“Well, I’ll teach you whatever I can, Raz.” Irina smiled, ruffling their hair.

“Okay!” They beam before sidestepping them all and running to the couch. “Where’s MC?”

“Still washing off from your little adventure in the rain.” Irina answers, guiding Nic and Denisa to the dining table. “Now, come over here, sweetie. We’ll wait for MC at the table.”

The four of them make amiable conversation, but Irina’s mind wanders once more. It was always quite hard to celebrate the day of life together with the Munteanu’s because it always reminded her of what she and her child was missing out on. Not that she needed anyone to help her raise her kid- quite the opposite really- but having enough money that she never has to worry about feeding MC? Stable wages and a smiling kid with ambitions of their own... Whenever Irina asked MC about potential futures careers, they would shrug and respond with something about helping her out. While sweet, Irina worries MC feels obligation... Which is not something they should feel so young. Sometimes she found herself worrying that she was aging her child by accident.

Sometimes, she worries that MC will grow to despise her for how they were raised.

“Mom?” Irina blinks, glancing over her shoulder, almost immediately feeling tears spring to her eyes. MC was fully cleaned, dressed in their formal clothing (a little crooked, not that it mattered much), and holding up a few peonies. “I... I, uh, lost the money I had saved, but I found these. As a gift for today.”

Irina took the flowers with gentle reverence, doing her utmost to keep her tears back. “Thank you, dear.” Thank you, I love you so much and I just want the best for you. And everything else she would say when they weren’t in the presence of others. When she could finally find the courage to broach these hard topics with her baby. 

#villain's promise #ch: Irina #ch: e #ch: MC #happy mother's day yall #anon <3

[wormstacheangel]

Day 2 of @spnprideweek and part 2 of sobrenatural fic

Dean ended up coming home a little sooner than he should have, but he didn’t want to lose the shower to Sam. He didn’t want to be sweaty and cochino for his not date with Cas.

Maybe he should have cooled it with the cumbia, making it too obvious that Dean was in a good mood because as soon as he was heading out the door—smelling great, he may add—su Tio called him over to the kitchen.

“¡Oye! ¿A dónde vas tan cambiado?” Tio Bobby was by the stove, smashing the beans for dinner, as he raised his eyebrows at Dean. Sam was standing by the sink peeling tomatillos as he cranes his neck to look over at Dean.

“Dude, what did you do? Break the damn cologne bottle?”

“Es mucho?” Dean lifted his arm to smell himself. “It’s fine!”

“¿Me vas a contestar?” Bobby threw in some whole chiles into the beans and let them simmer away. “¿Quieres que te hable en inglés? Where are you going, niño feo?”

“Estas siego, viejo!” Dean walked over to the small mirror that hung on the wall. You can barely see yourself in it because of the Jesus painting on it, but it still worked. “I’m just going out with some friends.”

“Mmm.” Bobby hummed in reply, going back to turn off the beans once they looked how he wanted it. “Llévate a tu hermano.”

“Tio!” Dean turns around, wide-eyed and heart racing. “I can’t take Sam!”

“I’ll go get my coat!” Sam rinsed off his sticky hands and started to walk out of the kitchen, but Dean grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in close. Pinning him down against his chest, which was difficult considering the kid is a damn giant.

“You aren’t coming with,” Dean mutters to him before begging Bobby again. “Tio, I’ll take Sammy with me tomorrow! Nomas hoy no.”

“¿Y porque no?”

Dean looks between curious eyes, not knowing how to explain himself. He can’t say he’s going out with a friend cause then there would be no reason why Sam couldn’t tag along. But he didn’t want to come out to his Tio and brother now! Fuck that shit; he’ll just lie.

[continue reading under the tab or on ao3]

“I’m going to meet up with Cassie.” Technically true.

Bobby’s eyes widened, and Sam’s grin grew while he wiggled himself free from Dean’s grip. They both liked Cassie and were mad at Dean for breaking things up between them. However, it wasn’t tough when Cassie rarely gave him any attention, always busy with work and school. She had to know Dean was holding her back, so he broke it off. She was mad at him for a while but ultimately thanked him for doing something she didn’t have the courage to do. Rumors still spread, though, because of course, they do, about Dean cheating, but he didn’t care much about those.

Su Tio, though, cared a lot. Dean has to constantly remind him that Dean didn’t cheat on her, and he just broke it off cause Cassie was too smart for him.

Cas is probably too smart for him too.

“Okay, pues, have fun! Bring her home to say hi.” Bobby practically pushed him out the door with Sam happily towering behind him with the same annoying grin.

Dean wondered how disappointed they would be if they found out he was going out with a guy instead.

Dean drove to Cas’s house, waiting outside a few minutes before seven. He wasn’t sure what he should do. Does he honk the horn, or is that too rude? Should he park and get out of the car to knock? That seemed too much like a date thing. And he still wasn’t sure if this was a date or two not-strangers hanging out.

He stayed in the middle of the street, unsure of what to do until finally, the front door opened, and Cas stepped out with a jacked hanging on his arm. He stood outside and squinted at the car before tilting his body down to check if that was Dean.

Dean’s panic from before melted away while he nervously waved at Cas. He saw Cas’s eyes widen with a slow-growing grin before he practically ran over to Dean.

As soon as Cas opened the door, Dean felt so sure that there was nothing more right than having Cas sitting in his passenger side.

“You ready to go, Angelito?” Dean looked Cas over; he’s dressed in dark jeans and a grey long sleeve. He has never seen Cas in anything but that rumpled old suit. He never minded the suit, but now he wished he could burn it because all that suit did was hide Cas’s muscled body. Dean couldn’t stop the whistle that escaped his lips as he said, “Mira! You look good, Cas.”

The compliment was shocking to them both, for Dean especially. He awkwardly cleared his throat while trying to think of an excuse. Maybe even use the whole English as a second language excuse, but Cas quietly responded with a, “Thanks, Dean. You look pretty good yourself.”

And maybe those words broke him. He knew he was attractive but having Cas say that made his head spin.

“Your car is beautiful, by the way. I wasn’t sure if that was you in here.”

“Did you expect me to come in that bike?” Dean jokes before slowly driving away from the house, Los Angeles Azules playing softly on the radio did not make things any less awkward.

“I don’t know what I expected. I’m just glad you came, Dean.”

Dean stopped at the end of the block and turned towards the guy sitting beside him. Cas was already looking at him with puppy dog eyes and a beautiful, hopeful smile. His breath catches in his throat as his mind gets overwhelmed with wanting to reach out and touch Cas. Just to make sure the beautiful boy in his passenger seat was real and make sure que su corazon isn’t just playing games with him.

Instead, he tightened his hold on the steering wheel, fingers burning in protest, as he melts into Cas’s smile. Wanting to relax and just be with him for tonight, not caring que alguien lo va mirar. Enjoy this non-date that looks like it has the chance to become an actual one.

But is that what Dean actually wanted?

“Dean,” Cas reached over to gently touch his arm as if knowing that Dean’s mind had wandered off. He looked hesitant, as if not sure if he was allowed to. “Do you want to go eat? We can if you want.”

Dean looked down at the hand that was burning him through his clothes, knowing damn well that Cas was giving him the chance to make this into something more. Algo que se sentía que iba a ser cósmico en su vida. Y Dean quería eso en su vida.

“Yeah,” Dean answered both questions. His hand loosened on the wheel before he reached over to take Cas’s hand in his. Hearing Cas’s breath catch in a gasp, but he didn’t look up at him; instead, Dean twined their fingers together before letting them sit in the seat between them. Dean focused back on the road before turning left to his side of town. “I got the perfect place. Te va gustar! You’re not like vegan or anything, right?”

“No.” Dean turned to catch Cas looking at him still and knew they were both feeling the same excited electricity that clouded the car just by the giddiness in his voice. “Where are you taking me on our, oh um…Oh! primero! Primero date, Dean?”

Ahi esta! La confirmación que necesitaba. This is an actual date! Pero, las palabras no le dieron pánico. No. Instead, Dean squeezed Cas’s hand as he laughed, feeling like he would just fly away if he didn’t hold on.

“You passed high school Spanish, Cas?”

“I did, but google translate did most of the work.”

When Dean parked outside the familiar food truck, he squeezed Cas’s hand once before they got out. They walked together, bumping shoulders while their hands stayed buried in their pockets. Cas didn’t question their lack of touch; instead, he smiled up at Dean as he listened to him rave about his friend Victor’s food.

“Not as good as mine, but it’s good,” Dean adds as they make it to the front of the window, where Victor can hear him.

“Cabron!” Victor said with no fire in his tone but a growing grin across his face. He held his hand out for Dean to take for a handshake. “Nice to see you, primo. Where’s Sam?”

“Lo deje en la casa!” When Dean took a step back, he put his arm around Cas’s shoulder to squeeze him close. “Pero, I brought a new customer.”

“Hi.” Cas looked a little shaken up, and Dean just wanted to lean closer to leave a kiss on his cheek, but he restrained. No necesita mas chisme circling around about him. “I’m Cas.”

“Victor.” Victor raised an eyebrow at him but reached over to shake Cas’s hand in response. “What can I get you and the pendejo around you?”

“Oh. Dean isn’t-” Cas frowned over at Dean, but Dean just shook his head, letting him know that it was okay. Cas squinted at him before he gave a small smile, not understanding but accepting. “You order for me?”

“Sure, Angelito. Anything you don’t like?”

“As long as it’s not so spicy, I don’t mind anything.”

Cas stayed stiff under Dean’s arm as they ordered and waited for their food. Eventually, Dean couldn’t help himself; the street light and the neon sign were the only things keeping this place lit, but it was still pretty dark, so he turned his face to press his nose against Cas’s temple.

“¿Qué pasa, Angelito? What’s wrong?”

“Dean.” Cas sounded shocked as he started to move back, but Dean held him a little tighter. “Someone is gonna see you.”

“Que miran. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

Cas sighed but relaxed back into Dean. “I just didn’t like him calling you that. You aren’t stupid, Dean.” Dean chuckled, and Cas turned to look at him, glaring. “I don’t see how this is funny.”

“Ay, mi Angelito, he didn’t say it in a mean way. It’s just the way we talk to each other. He’s my friend.”

Cas blinked at him a few times before he fell back against Dean, his arms crossed over his chest. “Well, I don’t like it.”

“Trust me, Cas, it’s fine. Quedate conmigo long enough, and you’ll be calling me the same thing.”

Cas didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and Dean wondered if he said the wrong thing again, but then Cas clicked his tongue before turning to Dean. “I don’t know what…um, that word you said means. Que..que-?”

“Quedate?” Cas nodded, looking back at Dean, waiting for him to explain. It brought warmth to Dean’s chest, knowing he’ll have to repeat it in English when before it came out as a joke. He swallowed hard as he looked back at those baby blues. The words barely came out in a quiet whisper, “Quedate. Stay. Conmigo. With me. I said, stay with me.”

“Oh.” Cas looked down at Dean’s lips as he talked. “I can-I can do that.”

Dean hummed a response as his eyes traveled down to Cas’s tongue poking out to lick at his lips. His heart was hammering in his chest until it came to a stop when he heard, “Dean! Oye, cabron! I ain’t calling your name again!”

They pulled apart, and Dean jogged over alone to grab their bag of food. Dean decided to get a few of his favorites and drinks.

“Victor,” Dean called his friend over again. “No le digas a nadie que estaba aquí. Okay? Or I’m gonna steal all your customers otra vez.”

Victor’s eyes traveled from Dean to Cas, who was waiting where Dean left him looking angelic under the streetlamp, before falling back to Dean. He wondered what could be going through Victor’s mind right that moment, but then he heard his friend let out a heavy sigh.

“Whatever you say, primo.”

“Thanks. Call me tomorrow, and I’ll work for you this weekend!” Dean starts walking backward, back to Cas.

“Shit! Really? ¡No juegues conmigo, Dean!”

“Llámame mañana!”

Dean makes it back to Cas, who automatically reaches for the drinks to help, and motions for him to walk back to the car.

“Come on. I wanna take you somewhere else.”

Dean drove them somewhere nicer, more private, but still a parking lot.

As soon as Dean parks the car, he opens his door, “Come on; we can sit on the hood. You might wanna put that jacket on.”

Cas looks excited when he opens the car door and walks out into the parking lot that faces the beach. “Dean! Won’t we get a ticket?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just bring the drinks.”

They sat on the hood of the impala, eating and talking, as the sounds of the waves crashing to the shore mixed with la musica norteña coming from inside the car. Dean soon finds out that Cas doesn’t know how to dance, so he puts on one of his favorite mixtapes, and cumbia plays loudly through the speaker.

They danced in front of the headlights, if you can call it dancing. They always ended up bursting into fits of laughter as they fell into each other because Cas did have two left feet. Eventually, Dean just took Cas from around the waist, and they just spun around in circles.

Feeling Cas wrap his arms around Dean’s neck to hold him as their grins were so close together made Dean’s heart leap. Eventually, Cas’s forehead fell against Dean’s, and the dancing slowed to a nice sway even though the beat was only getting quicker.

“Cas?” He answered Dean with a soft hum. “Me estas gustando mas cada segundo.”

“I don’t know-”

“I like you.” Dean’s eyes closed as he leaned in to brush their noses together. “Mi Angelito.”

Dean never thought he would be here in this situation with a guy, but he has never wanted anything more in his life. Feeling strong hands run through his hair as a strong and firm body pressed against him. He loved the intoxicating smell of Cas’s woodsy shampoo that he would have never smelled on a girl. The stubble of beard rubbed against his chin as Cas turned his head until finally, fucking finally, he had those pink lips on his.

He should be scared. Esto no es algo que debería hacer con El pinche Sonidito playing in the background. He shouldn’t have one hand behind Cas’s neck to deepen the kiss, and his toes shouldn’t curl up when he feels Cas’s heavy sigh inside his mouth. He shouldn’t become so quickly addicted to Cas’s hands reaching under Dean’s shirt to press firmly at his back, feeling the familiar slight burn become a damn forest fire in him.

Esto no es algo que debería querer. Cas no es alguien que debería querer pero aqui esta. Queriendo a nadie más pero a Cas. Cas. Cas.

Cas pulled away just enough only to have their noses touching, their breaths still mixing, as he whispered. “I like you too, Dean.”

And yeah. That was it. That was all it took.

Las cadenas del maldito miedo that held him back from even thinking of wanting Cas this way, se rompieron. Dean ya pertenece completamente a Cas.

Cas grinned as he looked back at Dean, his hand reaching to cradle his face gently. His thumb was caressing Dean’s freckles on his cheek before he happily announced. “¡Me gustas mucho!”

Dean laughed, his arms reaching down to wrap around Cas’s waist and spin him around. Both of them laughing as they continued dancing and kissing until it was late enough that they had to go home.

#inspo from a real date of mine! #instead of the beach we went to a lake and we had to leave early cause i thought I was gonna die #being in mexico and around water just makes me think of the llorona and i get scared so sue me #but this is much better #destiel #deancas #fic #destiel fluff #destiel fic #destiel fanfic #latinenatural #sobrenatural #wormstachewrites #my writing #spnprideweek #also yes i know im late for day two but life has been a mess

[kira-bitz]

Edd was already fed up with his situation. How had it come to this? Well, the events have not happened long ago, they were still fresh in his memory.

And it was that his parents didn't saw with good eyes that, as he grew up, Edd developed a greater interest in cartoons and comics. Even traditional arts like painting and sculpture were alternatives they were willing to accept for their oldest son, but comics? Animations? He wasn't even talented enough to stand out from the crowd and have a promising future. This is how, when Edd mentioned his intention to study animation after finishing his studies at school, his father didn't hesitate to give him an ultimatum:

- Either you choose a traditional career as how it has to be, or you finance them by your own.

Edd already saw that answer coming, so he wasn't discouraged by his father's words. In a way he understood his fear, but that wasn't going to stop him, he would prove to them that he could fulfill his dream with or without their help. He had already planned what to do in advance, because due to the great income of money from his family, he knew that the loan or grant options wouldn't allow him to cover much of the cost of his studies if he continued living with them, so he was already focused in finding a part-time job. On the other hand, his friends Matt and Tom told him about their intentions to share a flat, in order to live in a more central place. Nothing could go wrong.

But there he was a year later, exhausted from the fifth merchandise landing of the night at the supermarket. Too tired to get home and get on with his college projects, he just wanted a shower and sleep. Wasn't there another type of work that drained less of his energy? A job that didn't take up so many hours of his day?

This is how Edd began to investigate in different places, increasingly corrupt sites, until in one of them reached at his ears the information of a certain business that was done in a night pool club, where in exchange for "requests" of clients a good sum of money was paid. Edd hesitated to try after seeing what kind of requests there were, but one in particular caught his eye.

“A guy on my campus constantly harasses me. I have denounced him repeatedly, but I haven't received a response from the authorities since he has not physically attacked me. I just want to give him the scare of his life so he can leave me alone. I'm scared."

Edd thought about it for a moment as he looked at the contact number attached to the application and the amount to be received for said service. He was tall, maybe not the most muscular boy, but he had knowledge of fights from his most rebellious school years. Plus, he had a pretty convincing dummy gun. Maybe... he could try.

When the day came, Edd took one last look at the photo of a blond young man to confirm that it was the same one he was watching casually walking down the sidewalk in front of him. He crossed the street while pulling on his hood and shoved the boy shorter than him into the alley, away from the public view. He grabbed him by the neck almost lifting him off the ground as the guy emitted little screams of terror:

- I know you, George Smith. I know where you live, your boring schedule, and that you were now on your way to see your friends Tyler and Henry at the place a few blocks from here. Too bad I'll have to spoil your fun.

Wide-eyed in sheer terror, the smaller guy watched as Edd took his gun from his back pocket, pulled the hammer and aimed it at George's head.

- If I see you near Miss Emily Brown again, I will come for you again, and I will not be alone.

Between screeches and gasps from George from the tight grip, Edd slammed his knee into his stomach, completely knocking the air out of his lungs. Finally, before George could catch his breath, and with one swift movement, Edd hit George over the head with his gun, knocking him out instantly.

The tallest one looked at the scene for a second and felt the adrenaline rush inside him. He has never felt something like this. It reminded him a bit of the school fights of yesteryear but with a much greater intensity. He felt control and uncontrolled at the same time. He liked it.

Slowly, Edd began to take more and more requests from people he called "in a situation of need for not acting of the law" sometimes allying with others like him when the service required more than one individual, and even going so far as to buy a real gun and learn how to use it to take less risk. With this new inflow of money, he could leave his other job since in less hours he was earning much more, he could pay for his studies without problem, improve his work team and pay the rent for his home.

And so he did, the day his new computer and drawing tablet arrived was the happiest day of his life. Tom and Matt were undoubtedly happy for him and when he finally had everything set up he called them over to see his latest model equipment. Edd didn't expect them to come into his room filming and celebrating the fruit of so much hard work. Between congratulations they took one last photo to keep for the memory.

- Thanks guys. You are the best.

Finally, already in the darkness of the night, an Edd could be seen without being able to sleep. Since, although in a couple of years he should no longer have the need to continue with this work, something had awakened in his being that said that what began as a need, was turning into an obsession.

---

Well here I brought the first promised backstory of the boys in the EW Lone Digger AU. I hope you like it! Please remember that this is fiction and that threatening people is bad, carrying weapons is bad, illegality is bad, etc asdfg.

And there is a small cameo of Ghost Friends since I will be part of the team of the first episode as character designer and that makes me happy 💖.

I take this opportunity to comment it is very likely that next week I will open commissions again, but I must adjust the prices and it will be probably 5 slots only for now.

Y para mi gente hispanohablante, abajo del Seguir Leyendo se encuentra la versión en español 😘

Edd ya estaba harto de su situación. ¿Cómo había llegado a esto? Bueno, los sucesos no habían ocurrido hace mucho, aún seguían frescos en su memoria.

Y es que sus padres no vieron con buenos ojos que, a medida que crecía, Edd desarrollaba un interés mayor por las caricaturas e historietas. Incluso artes tradicionales como pintura y escultura eran alternativas que estaban dispuestos a aceptar para su hijo mayor, pero ¿comics? ¿animaciones? Ni siquiera tenía tanto talento como para destacar del montón y tener un futuro prometedor. Así fue como, cuando Edd les mencionó sus intenciones de estudiar animación al terminar sus estudios en el colegio, su padre no dudó en darle un ultimátum:

- O eliges una carrera tradicional como corresponde, o la financias por tu cuenta.

Edd ya veía venir esa respuesta, por lo no se desanimó con las palabras de su padre. De cierta forma entendía su temor, pero eso no iba a detenerlo, les probaría que podía cumplir su sueño con o sin su ayuda. Ya tenía planificado qué hacer de antemano, pues debido a la gran entrada de dinero de su familia, sabía que las opciones de préstamos o subvenciones no le permitirían cubrir gran parte del valor de sus estudios si seguía viviendo con ellos, así que ya estaba mentalizado en encontrar un trabajo de medio tiempo. Por otra parte, sus amigos Matt y Tom le habían comentado sus intenciones de compartir un piso, para de esta forma vivir en un lugar más céntrico. Nada podría salir mal.

Pero ahí estaba un año después, agotado por del quinto desembarque de mercadería de la noche en el supermercado. Muy cansado como para llegar a casa y avanzar en sus proyectos universitarios, solo quería una ducha y dormir. ¿No existía otro tipo de trabajo que drenara menos de su energía? ¿Un trabajo que no ocupara tantas horas de su día?

Así fue como Edd se dedicó a investigar en diferentes sitios, sitios cada vez más corruptos, hasta que en uno de ellos llegó a sus oídos la información de cierto negocio que se hacía en un club de pool nocturno, donde a cambio de “solicitudes” de clientes se pagaba una buena suma de dinero. Edd, al ver el tipo de solicitudes que se habían dudó en intentarlo, pero uno en particular le llamó la atención.

“Un sujeto del campus me acosa constantemente. Lo he denunciado en reiteradas ocasiones, pero no he tenido respuesta de las autoridades ya que no me ha agredido físicamente. Solo quiero que le den el susto de su vida para que me deje en paz. Tengo miedo.”

Edd lo pensó un momento mientras observaba el número de contacto adjunto a la solicitud y el monto a recibir por dicho servicio. Él era grande, tal vez no el chico más musculoso, pero tenía conocimiento en peleas de su etapa escolar más rebelde. Además, tenía un arma falsa bastante convincente. Quizás… podría intentarlo.

Llegado el día, Edd miró por última vez la foto de un joven rubio para corroborar que era el mismo al que estaba observando caminar despreocupadamente por la vereda de en frente. Cruzó la calle mientras se colocaba la capucha y empujó al chico más pequeño que él al callejón, alejándolos de la vista pública. Lo sujetó del cuello casi levantándolo del suelo mientras el chico emitía pequeños chillidos de terror. Sacó su arma y apuntó a su cabeza:

- Te conozco, George Smith. Sé dónde vives, tu aburrido horario y que ahora te dirigías a ver a tus amigos Tyler y Henry en el local a unas cuadras de aquí. Lástima que tendré que arruinar tu diversión.

Con los ojos abiertos de puro terror, el chico más pequeño vió cómo Edd tomaba su arma del bolsillo trasero, jalaba el percutor y apuntaba a la cabeza de George.

- Si te vuelvo a ver cerca de la señorita Emily Brown vendré nuevamente por ti, y no estaré solo.

Entre chillidos y sonidos ahogados de George por el fuerte agarre, Edd le propinó un golpe seco con la rodilla a su estómago, sacándole completamente el aire de los pulmones. Finalmente, antes de que George pudiera recuperar el aliento, y con un rápido movimiento, Edd golpeó a George en la cabeza con su arma, noqueándolo instantáneamente.

El más alto miró por un segundo la escena y sintió cómo la adrenalina corría en su interior. Nunca había sentido algo así. Le recordó un poco a las peleas escolares de antaño pero con una intensidad mucho mayor. Sintió control y descontrol a la vez. Le gustó.

Poco a poco, Edd empezó a tomar cada vez más solicitudes de gente que él llamaba “en situación de necesidad por el no actuar de la ley”, a veces aliándose con otros como él cuando el servicio requería más de un individuo, e incluso llegando a comprar un arma real y aprender a usarla para correr menos riesgos. Con esta nueva entrada de dinero podría dejar su otro trabajo ya que en menos horas ganaba mucho más, podría pagar sus estudios sin problema, mejorar su equipo de trabajo y pagar la renta de su hogar.

Y así lo hizo, el día que llegó su nuevo computador y tableta gráfica fue el día más alegre de su vida. Tom y Matt estaban indudablemente felices por él y cuando por fin tuvo todo instalado los llamó para que vieran su equipamiento último modelo. Edd no esperaba que entraran a su habitación grabando y festejando el fruto de tanto trabajo duro. Entre felicitaciones tomaron una última foto para guardar para el recuerdo.

- Gracias chicos. Son los mejores.

Finalmente, ya en la oscuridad de la noche, se pudo ver a un Edd sin poder conciliar el sueño. Puesto que, aunque en un par de años ya no tendría la necesidad de seguir con este trabajo, algo había despertado en su ser que le decía que lo que empezó como una necesidad, se estaba convirtiendo en una obsesión.

#Eddsworld #EW Lone Digger AU #Eddsworld Edd #Eddsworld Tom #Eddsworld Matt #EW Edd #EW Tom #EW Matt #Ghost Friends #KiraBitzArt #Eddsworld KiraBitz #EW Lone Digger AU KiraBitz

[wisewastelandandnotsowisesimp]

Hakuoki Ramblings (Part 2.5?)

hello. so i wanted to do a sorta character analysis thing (it's probably gonna read out more like a 'reasons why i love X and they have a place in my brain) and so i decided to do a seperate, spe-shal post for this. and who better than mah boi okita?

from the moment he first appeared on my screen and said those infamous first lines, he took away my breath (and my sanity, and the top spot on my ultimate husbando list. but i digress). even now, my love for okita is strong as always (even iba isn't enough, like he's great and all, but i feel like i like him because of the potential he had as opposed to his actual character).

the other okita souji I've seen (who is also based on the real life figure, albeit loosely) is the Okita Sougo of Gintama. in the show (which is hard to slug through but it's pre good, i'd recommend to watch), okita is seen as a sadistic swordsman who has his insane moments and a rivalry with hijikata, the "demonic vice-commander". the reason why i note this is because there are quite a lot of similarities between the two.

the thing with hijikata-> throughout both series, okita pokes fun at hijikata. in hakuoki, this manifests in the form of banter whereas in gintama, the "poking fun" is brought up to a whole 'nother level as okita (repeatedly, and unsuccessfully) tries to kill hijikata. either way, it provides a form of entertainment and in the case of hakuoki , provides some lightheartedness to the gravity of the game (can't say for the anime, cuz i haven't watched it). favourite, memorable, moments include:

the ishida medicinal powder thing

THE HAIKUS

when okita points out that chizuru was assigned to be an attendent to hijikata and okita is told to shut it (memory is a little iffy on that part, it was chapter 1-something)

(still can't format the fooking thing, i lied, i can't do it but this is numero 2) the sadistic side. in the game, okita's sadistic side is not so much sadistic in verbal terms as it is just bloodthirsty, self-depravating (in some instances) comments. same with his killing style, i feel (note: has been a very very long while since i completed this man's route so could be inaccurate) that he's not the sorta person that would slowly torture and kill someone (unless pushed over the edge which he is pre close to, admittedly) but rather would go with one slice/stab and get high in the rush of life.

the light brown hair (apologies, i forgot most of my arguments because I'm coming back to this after weeks. was supposed to end the year with this and now its march. )

snarky comments. a lot of snarky comments.

(oh god i want to play hakuoki again, it's been too long. but life. but hot anime men. will get back to this one.) here are just some hakuoki specific ones.

abs. (ik a lot of characters have shirtless cgs. i haven't seen okita's yet so i can't say ive seen them per se but he's a hot anime warrior dude- he has some)

the fact that he based his hairstyle on kondou (KYAAAA)

this is long enough as is tbh, and my brain hurts from too much science. but hey, i am able to proclaim my love for a psychotic-warrior-dude-based-on-a-now-dead-guy which kinda weirded me out when i first thought of it this way because then the question remains, do i simp for a dead guy or a reinterpretation of him? in that case, could i say that i am truly a devotee for the mans? (at the same time, i know people simp over irl serial criminals and george michael)

in the end, i will not pull a nick gatsby and wait for a long time for what was simply attraction to ideals to be reciprocated at all. although i suppose i am less pitiful, in that i am aware that it will never happen. now please excuse me as i still continue to stare into that green light and bask in the temporary happiness it may provide me

#hakuoki ramblings #i figured why not make this a tag #hakuoki #okita souji #i started uni #i love it but god do i hate physics #why did i take physics #i need to do my lit readings #lit is fun #may update more often idk idk

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 12.5.2023

It took me all week, but I did, finally, finish Chapter 5.

I had two great wordcount weeks in a row. This was not a great wordcount week. I did spend a lot of time thinking about my fanfic, and plotting and outlining. These are not normally activities that I enjoy, but it honestly wasn't so bad. I decided that I didn't want to keep proceeding forward until I had decided how this thing is going to end. If you've ever read any of my writing advice posts, you'll know that I nearly always advise deciding how the fanfic will end before you start writing the fanfic. The only reason I didn't take my own advice is because I usually don't need to. While I am infamously bad at ending individual scenes and chapters, I nearly always know how a fanfic is going to end, and this time I just...didn't?

Anyway, I thought about it all week and thought up some scenes I would like to do and thought about the character arcs and motivations I wanted my three mains to go through in the second half of this fanfic, and I also thought about characters whom I felt had not gotten enough screentime. All of these things were easier than coming up with an ending, but I did eventually come up with an idea for my last few scenes, and I think it's good enough that the rest will fill itself in as I go. We are definitely shaping up to be 9 chapters and an epilogue, which means I am now slightly over halfway done? Yay? It still feels frustrating because the front half is pretty self-contained and I want to show it to people, but I cannot, it needs to wait but there's soooooo muuuuuuch left to goooooooo.

Anyway, let's focus on the positive! I added 2,939 (new) words to Chapter 5, bringing it up to 10,160, the longest chapter so far, but not egregiously so. I added one scene which is both unnecessary and dreadful. It ruins the pacing at the end of the chapter, it goofs up my alternating narrator structure, and it's just extremely weird. Also, if I cut it, the chapter length will better match the other ones. I wrote a note in my outline "this scene is bad and you should delete it." Will I? Readers, I likely will not. This is fanfic and when you write fanfic, you can just make people read unnecessary scenes about Renji and Iba's dirtbag friendship and they can't do anything about it because I do not receive any sort of compensation for this. I promise that if I come to my senses and actually ax, I will post it here. In other news, everyone who loved the Squad Six-gets-universal-healthcare scene from Hearts will be overjoyed to learn that this one features a bit in which Ukitake-and-Yumichika-discuss-the-Gotei-13-procurement-process. Once again, I do not get paid.

I also spent some time this week fixing up the portion of Chapter 6 that I had already written. Some of it needs to be fully reworked, but there was a significant chunk that could be pretty much pasted in with a little minor editing.

That brings the wordcount for this week to 17,423 for Part B, or 54,296 overall (+10,207 for the week). That is...that is starting to become a fanfic.

It's also December, and there's a lot of stuff going on, so I'm really trying to not be too ambitious in my goal-setting, but I'm hoping that maybe I'll be able to get through Chapter 7 by the end of the year.

I did a drawing tutorial this week. It was okay. I'm kinda 🫠about drawing lately, but sometimes I can only really concentrate on one thing at a time.

#writing update #art update

[rinusagitora]

You’re in all my dreams.

Fandom: Bleach

Characters: Karin Kurosaki, Toushirou Hitsugaya, Momo Hinamori, OC- Mae Izumi

Pairings: HitsuKarin

Words: 2.2k

Summary: Shinigami!Karin AU. For HitsuKarin Week 2021. WARNINGS- mentions of suicide, dysfunctional families; Karin graduates Shin'ou and shares her dreams with Toushirou.

AO3

For the last six years, Karin dreamed of the day she’d graduating from cadet to officer and don the shihakusho like everyone she ever admired.

It was an anxious future filled with wonder and promise she never knew back in the World of the Living. Going from cadet to captain of a small force was going to be quite the culture shock, perhaps even more than the cold water of the river where she drowned. But she made it, and it made her much more confident in her ability. Officers were chosen from a pool of graduates and turnover was infrequent since few officers passed away in peacetime. It made competition fierce and even rarer that a graduate obtained a seated position out of the gate.

She was equal parts nervous and excited. For the time being, all Karin wanted to do was enjoy the graduation bonfire.

Mae toppled onto the log, sloshing rice wine onto Karin’s lap. She laughed. “I’m sorry! I’m sooo hammered.”

“No worries. I think I’ve puked on you more times than you’ve spilled on me.”

“Indeed, we swapped roles tonight.” Mae tapped Karin’s nose. “Tonight, of all nights, you choose to be reserved. Why?”

Karin hummed and swirled beer. “I’m nervous, I think.”

“It’s a big change.” Mae looked over the crowd. “Where are Hinamori-fukutaichou and Hitsugaya-taichou? I expected them, of all people, to be here.”

Karin’s reikaku grazed the crowd. Momo was there, just chaperoning. Keeping firelight between bodies like a puritan. Perhaps rightfully so. They were the new faces of the Seireitei. It was better not to romp in the woods right over poison ivy before recruitment day. Pussy itch was a different kind of awful. The kind of awful where Karin, who was once impaled, ended up curling up on the floor crying while Izuru healed her crotch and Shuuhei and Renji laughed in the next room.

The crowd parted for Momo like river water around stones. She stopped before Karin, and Karin smiled at her mentor. “Hi, Momo-senpai.”

Mae nodded. "Hinamori-sama."

"Izumi-chan, I hope you're enjoying the festivities."

"Oddly enough. It's strange letting loose… but I see where Karin-chan's alcoholism comes from. Dancing while intoxicated is liberating."

"Indeed." Nonetheless, Momo cocked her head and curiously looked over Karin. Karin knew the jig was up from there. She and Ryuuji were normally in the center of the action, and Karin hadn't so much as howled or toasted once that evening.

“Leave us, Izumi-chan.”

Mae managed to right herself and bowed to excuse herself. Gracefully, Momo took a seat beside Karin as she cursed internally. She didn't want to talk about it, but Momo always dragged out her bad feelings and laid them in the open.

“It’s odd you’re not out enjoying the festivities. This is your… thing.”

“It’s just really hitting me that I’m going to be a shinigami,” Karin told Momo. “I’ve been working toward this goal for six years. What do I do from here?”

Momo laughed. “Six years is a blink of an eye for the majority of us.” She held Karin’s shoulders. “There will be plenty to do, Karin-chan.”

“I can’t believe we’re all in a squad just after graduation, though.”

“Who? Izumi and Kawashima?” Karin hummed affirmatively in response to Momo, who then grinned. “Believe it or not, Iba-taichou wanted Watanabe. I think Watanabe is in for a reality check.”

“You are far too happy over that.” Karin couldn’t help but share Momo’s thrill, however. Chousuke Watanabe was a thorn in her side for six years, being her friend Ryuuji’s tormentor. Tetsuzaemon would straighten him out. The very picture of manhood and chivalry according to Momo. It was far too rewarding imagining Chousuke getting reamed by a six-foot wall of meat and battle scars.

"Bias is something I never shied away from. It's been a driving force in my life, for better or worse." Momo kissed Karin's forehead. "For best, in your case. You've been family since the moment I laid eyes on you, Karin-chan. My own in many ways. Every obstacle you've faced, you've overcome, and are better for it. I am so proud of how far you've come, and I'm so glad to have played a part in it."

Karin smiled bashfully. At least she had Momo.

Momo lovingly jostled Karin. There it was. Momo buttered up Karin just enough and was about to get her to bust open a can of worms. "What's on your mind?"

"I just… I thought Toushirou would be here. I haven't seen him all day today."

"I'm not supposed to tell you, but," Momo whispered, grinning, "he's preparing something special. Be patient."

Her heart pattered. "Oh." Of course he was. She was a little ashamed that hadn't occurred to her earlier as if they hadn't developed years of trust and affection, or at least a solid friendship. Nonetheless, Momo stroked Karin's hair, reminding her she was only human, that something so little wouldn't ruin everything.

Speaking of… Karin picked up on a familiar, icy reiatsu approaching. It was Toushirou, still in uniform. She smiled and Momo tapped her on her nose.

"See?"

"Not yet, but he's coming." Momo only rolled her eyes in response to Karin's lame joke.

"I'll leave you now. Enjoy your night, Karin-chan."

"Thanks, Senpai. I love you."

"And I love you."

Toushirou was still in uniform with his hands tucked into his sleeves. As he passed, Karin's fellow cadets parted and bowed to him. He ignored the attention, however, instead sporting a smile as he found Karin on her log.

He'd undergone hormone therapy in recent years to trigger a growth spurt. And he'd grown up to be a handsome young man, with looks rivaling stars in the World of the Living with access to renowned surgeons.

"I hope you've been enjoying yourself," he said. He took a seat next to her. He smelled like flowers. "I never attended these things, truthfully."

"Did you want to try dancing?" Karin asked.

"Well… I don't know," he said. Toushirou pulled a modest bouquet of daffodils from his sleeve, tied off with a turquoise ribbon. "It's not a big gift, I know, but I hope it reminds you that you're always welcome in juubantai."

Gingerly, Karin took his bouquet and smelled them. They smelled like spring. "I love them," she said. "Thank you."

She pressed a kiss against Toushirou's cheek, and he happily hummed. "I'm glad you like them. It's hard buying gifts for you."

"As if."

"It's true," he replied. "All Matsumoto wants is a day off, Hinamori loves spices and tobacco, and the boys are happy with some sake. You, on the other hand, easily get your hands on sake and tobacco, and hate downtime." Toushirou crossed his legs. "I should've consulted my sister."

Karin frowned. "But I like them…"

"The flowers? But they're such a lazy gift," he scoffed.

"I like everything you give me." She smiled. "Really, thank you. I love them."

He laughed bashfully. "Well, I'm glad."

Together they sat amid drums and singing and firelight, swaying with it, until Toushirou asked, "I don't want to take you from your friends, but I’m not enjoying myself here. Do you mind going elsewhere?"

"We can leave," Karin said. "Where do you want to go?"

"Someplace quiet where we can see the stars."

Her cheeks were warm at the idea. How romantic.

Karin bashfully followed behind Toushirou, holding his hand as he guided her away from the bonfire. When it was dark, he illuminated the way with kidou, assured in every step. A gorgeous man. He'd grown into his looks. His cheekbones were high, his shoulders broad. She could swoon until early morning over his handsome shape.

Up a hill, through a grove, and up a steep path, until they reached the peak of a sheer cliff. The stars above looked like a river of life. They didn't twinkle but were a steady pathway carved in the sky. Karin fell onto the grass and marveled. "Wow. When did you find this, Toushirou?"

"Not long ago. I wouldn't keep this from you  without a good reason." He smiled at her. Sitting, he said, "Do you like it?"

"Yes!" Karin nigh tackled Toushirou and kissed his cheek. "It's beautiful."

"I should've brought wine."

"This is perfect." Karin laid her head on Toushirou's shoulder. Together they stared into the stars. She searched for constellations but found none she recognized. "Do you think the World of the Living and the Soul Society have different stars?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. No one spends time looking up in the Soul Society. Those who do, don't seem to have the technology contributing to significant findings," Toushirou replied. "I'm not much of an astronomer either."

"You're a man of the law."

He laughed bashfully. "Aye."

Karin drew pictures in the stars herself. Birds, men, kitchenware, like she remembered from her human life not so long ago. Six years was nothing compared to how long her peers lived, was it? Not Momo, who was approaching a century and a half. Not even Toushirou, well into his seventies by that point. But Karin couldn’t remember the names of the stars or where to find them in the sky. How much longer did she have until she overwrote their patterns with other things? How much longer until her sad mortal history was forgotten in a sea of everything else?

There weren’t immediate answers to her questions, but Karin was fine with that. She said, "I remember hoping a rope would drop from the sky and drag me by the neck. Put me out of my misery."

"Understandable," Toushirou replied.

"I'm so much happier here. It's not always easy, but..."

"Slow and steady?"

"Yeah. Slow and steady wins the race. And I'm glad to be with you for it."

"So," Toushirou said, "no more sky-ropes to hang you until you're dead?"

She giggled. "Not anymore. I don't fancy myself a pirate, anyway."

He hummed. "I had a dream some time ago. Similar to yours... although I remember it being less grizzly," Toushirou confessed. She pulled her gaze from the starlight and saw him cloaked in darkness. Still, his eyes shined with wonder. Adoration. "A dream that assured me you're the love of my life."

"Go on," she said.

"I was being puppeteered by the sky. Dragged around day in and day out. And I saw the strings on you, into the sky as far as my eyes could see. And yet despite time, and fate, and all the horridness that plagued life for some time, we fought to be together." He clasped her hand. "Our strings became tangled and pink like cherry blossoms in spring. Like sunset. And... and I never want those strings freed." His blue-green eyes met hers. They made her melt like her body was hot wax in a leather bag. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Karin."

It felt like forever before she caught her breath. She asked, "Are you proposing?"

"If that's all it takes to spend the rest of my life by your side, and you at my side, I'll fetch a ring now. Propose properly in front of as many people as you like.”

Karin giggled. Picturing Toushirou hopping onto a bar counter, sake raised high, and screaming how deeply he was in love with Karin to their loved ones and peers, was quite a sight to behold! Yet, as anxious as he was to do so, she replied with, "Not at all. But let's make plans down the road. When I'm settled in."

"Of course." Toushirou sighed happily. They kissed. "I'm so in love with you, Karin."

"And I love you."

"I could stay here forever."

Karin hummed. “We have forever to do that…”

He turned to meet her gaze. “But?”

“I want to do more.” She sat up. “We work because we’re more than just lovers. We’re friends, confidants, partners. Warriors and artists and scholars.”

“Of course,” he agreed, propping himself on his palm.

“I want to be married, and I want forever with you, as much as I want-”

Toushirou said, completing Karin’s statement, “More.” He held her hand then. “It’s one of the reasons I love you. My recruitment was necessary. Yours is nothing but-”

“Desire.” She gazed into the stars, searching for divination in the blanket covering a slowly rotating plane.

“Then what more do you want?”

“To give justice and safety to those who have been and yet to be hurt. No one should suffer as I, and we have. I want to tear down the caste system here. Hold nobility responsible for their actions and give power back to the people, and eradicate the symbols of fascism and cruelty. I want to reconnect families. To make the Rukongai safe, so no one’s starving or resorting to crime to survive. And…” Karin turned to Toushirou, her breath stilling as she saw his eyes swimming with adoration. “And I want to mold the next generation to dream as I now dream, and to better the world. And I want to do all of it with you beside me, Toushirou. As equals.”

Toushirou cupped her cheek. He kissed her, and she held his sleeve. “Let’s do it. Together,” he said. Their foreheads touched. “Together always.”

#bleach #shinigami karin au #hitsukarin #hitsukarinweek2021 #karin kurosaki #toshiro hitsugaya #momo hinamori #oc: mae izumi