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project-sekai-facts · 6 months

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Your recent update made me wonder about something. I don’t know how much you know about this but wanted to try asking anyway. Hopefully this makes sense? Why would the English translation choose to censor things? I assume translations are being done in America where queer things are slowly becoming more accepted but is that a factor? Are the translators themselves changing certain things due to their own biases? I don’t know who they are and don’t want to assume anything about them, but I can’t help wondering if that’s part of the reason? Or is it because of something like, for example, sometimes movies or TV shows have certain content removed based on where it’s being aired, so is it something like that? Is the game being released in regions where queer content is banned or removed? Now that I wrote it, I feel like this is the most likely answer but what do you think? I basically just rambled in your ask my bad. Also, do you know if the Korean and/or Taiwan servers have censorship too?

oh there's more than just the Asahi thing and i have mentioned it in passing before but i'll cover it properly here. "the miles i fell in love with is so cool" -> "it was so cool! i guess that's miles for you" is definitely the biggest example though.

First off, a minor thing. it doesn't really happen anymore but in the earlier translations they quite often use words other than partner, like "pals" and "buds", in the VBS story. Probably one of the best examples of this would be An and Kohane's 3rd kizuna title, which the JP name was often fan-translated as "Making each other better" or "Raising each other up", and is called "Two supportive pals" on EN. Which does have the same meaning but the "pals" seems so unneccesary when they could've used partners. The original text is Takameau futari, the first part means "to raise" or "to lift" and futari means "two people" or "a pair/couple". So it technically is a good enough translation but using pals when partners would be more accurate to canon just seems.. off.

I’m assuming their avoidance of the word partner is because it could easily be misinterpreted as romantic, but they seem to have moved on from that at this point.

There's also THE POWER OF UNITY where they switch out "love" (daisuki) for "cares about a lot" when KAITO is comparing the relationship between Arata and Souma to Akito and Toya. Daisuki literally means "likes a lot" so often you'll see people translate it as love, though likes a lot is still valid. "Cares about" is not a direct translation but definitely can still convey the same meaning, so again instance of valid localisation it just seems like an odd choice when using love would've conveyed the exact same meaning and been more true to the original.

Then you've got another instance of them not translating daisuki correctly in Dear Me, As I Was Back Then (sorry this one is a wiki screenshot my phone died). This is worse. Like I guess if you really want then it does have a close enough meaning to the original. Like I guess daisuki meaning "like a lot" or "love" could be localised as "you're the best" if you really wanted it too. But even then, the line before this is "I'm gonna show just how much I admire her!". Minori's shout of "I LOVE YOUUU" from the original would be way more fitting here. "You're the best" feels too casual and buddy-buddy - even if Minori didn't know Haruka at this point, Haruka still had a big impact on her life and imo "I love you" would be the best to use here.

There’s also this one from Walk on and on that removes one key thing. In the original, Toya says something more along the lines of “I was able to make this track because I want to continue to be a partner who can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you from now on and always”. This is a bit more similar to the Asahi incident in that they’ve restructured the sentence to make it two, adding in the thing about performing which isn’t even there originally, and replacing “korekara saki mo zutto” with “keep singing with you”. And “keep singing with you” still works, but it’s much more toned down, let’s say. You know what really is odd about this translation though? If the quote I put seems familiar, it’s because it’s also the name of Toya’s event card. Kinda odd they omitted that from the story then, huh? The thing is the translation of the card is very accurate so removing it from the story starts to seem intentional, especially when everything around it is accurately translated like with the Asahi incident. Also doing this removes the fact that the card name references the story so what the hell are you doing EN? It's the same sentence, if you can translate it correctly on the card you can translate it correctly in the story.

And I’m gonna do a massive Dude Trust Me on this one and keep it brief because I don’t have screenshots of it and couldn't find any online, but there’s another example I can think of with Rui’s spring voiceline from 2022. On EN he says "Ah Tsukasa, what a coincidence!" but on JP he says "it must be some sort of fate that we met here". Which admittedly is still pretty much the same meaning, it's just like a way more casual version of it because of course it is. EN is just generally not great at localising a lot of Rui's more poetic speech as well, so I'll let this one slide for now.

There's definitely more than this, this is just what came to mind first and I don't want to make this post too long.

These were certainly... choices. Especially with the ones that translate daisuki wrong because they do translate it correctly on other occasions, most frequently with An and Kohane. I'm assuming the reason they omitted it with the guys is because it's far harder to pass off guys saying that they love each other as platonic because societal expectations or whatever, but I'm actually surprised by the change to Dear Me because normally they're pretty good with Minori and Haruka. Like they've translated daisuki correctly for them before and leave in everything else that indicates Minori has a crush on Haruka, so why not this line?

I'm tempted to say that they just change the things that they think are too hard to safely pass off as platonic, but then again they left all of the unsubtle ship teasing in Buddy Funny Spend Time, which has a lot of focus on Minori and Haruka's relationship (and they even left in Haruka saying that Minori makes her heart tickle in her card story), so I'm genuinely not sure why they left that in but then changed one instance of Minori saying she loves Haruka which doesn't even have to be interpreted romantically. Like what is the limit here? An can say she's going on a date (with Kohane) and the WEG regulars can ask who she's been seeing, but Asahi can say he fell in love with Tsukasa's character and it gets removed. Both of them are explicitly romantic. The only thing I can think of is that An's comes from a whole card story and event, but Asahi's is one line that's easy to remove. Same with Toya saying he wants to stay with Akito forever.

In other words, it's a mess and I don't think any of what I just wrote is coherent either.

Interpret all of this however you will at the end of the day it’s all just ship tease which is up to interpretation anyway. Except the Asahi thing that was explicitly romantic that one is a censor.

Oh and as far as I know the KR and TW servers don’t do this.

#i got this one peer reviewed on both my main account and with an irl who doesn't know anything about the game.#oh because someone will probably bring up the hiraga gennai 1koma i don't consider that one a censor #that one's definitely a localisation bc barely any players would get the joke since gennai isn't well known in the EN server regions #there's a whole discussion to be had over the fact they did completely change the joke and the context which we actually have had before #it was rui's birthday post if you go through my rui tag you can find it.#asks #mod talks #apologies for the quality on this one it's 1am right now for me

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nyxreads · 1 year

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I see alot of Elain stans wanting to read about soft female characters and that is why they love Elain as the next lead of the acotar book. I get it. Please don't misinterpret what I'm about to ask but soft girls are way too overrated. This is why men easily step on women, because women are too soft and can become a doormat. Elain is "too kind", "too forgiving", and some stans hate "girlboss" but did one of you pause and think that maybe the reason why some people like girls like Gwyn or Nesta is because they are the representation of women who stood up after centuries of patriarchy? Women aren't lesser. We love to read more girlboss characters in fantasy books because they empower us. Just some food for thoughts but I love Elain too, she can show more flavor in the next books

Hi anon,

First, I want to clarify to you that (imo, I can't speak for all) but Elain stans don't really hate badass characters. There's that. And I don't really think feminine women are overrated considering how characters like Elide, Yrene, Elain (at least in this fandom) are overlooked because well, they don't wield sword or isn't bitchy enough.

The thing here anon is, instead of women empowering women (may it be fictional or real) it became a competition. Of who's better, who can wield sword better, who can kill, who can say the last word, who's fit to have a love interest. It comes to the point where some women especially in this fandom look at characters like Elain and decides they are weak because they aren't the kind of women (as per to your own words) who stood up after centuries of patriarchy. Instead of uplifting every female characters, women started tearing female characters down that they deemed boring or unimportant in the series.

Anon, there is strength in gentleness. There is strength in forgiveness, in fact according to research people who forgives tend to live longer and their hearts healthier. Just because women are feminine doesn't mean we are lesser. We have a vital role in the society, and whoever sees feminine women as lesser, are the real lesser one. Because looking down at somebody because they don't meet your standard of strength shows insecurity.

Most women are feminine anon, I think it's time for us to stop demonizing femininity. Hollywood fooled us hard, let's open our eyes, this is why it's very important to also see characters such as Elain take the lead and have her own book.

There's enough representation of girlboss character in fantasy series, and I have no complaint in that. But there's also nothing wrong in embracing your feminine side and wanting to see a representation of it on fantasy books.

And let me tell you, irl, it's not women who held guns that helped on the war, it's the women most people sees as doormat. In fact, during the WWII, men underestimated these type of women and thought of them as fragile and helpless but they are spies, anon. They became a big weapon in war. Women are capable of anything despite of their trait. It's 2023 anon, let's stop underestimating women because of their gentleness or because of their hobbies and desires in life.

Stop tearing down women (fic or not). Just because you don't relate to them doesn't mean no one does. Every kind of women can be a main character.

And this is long enough but OMG (I am trying to be calm, really) stop looking down at my sweet girl! Lol okay bye.

#anon asks #feminine women in books #elain archeron #pro elain archeron #elriel

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puhpandas · 3 months

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i saw some of your posts about being anti-cassie's dad protag for HW2, which valid, but the theory's become so popular most people seem to accept it. HW2 is kind of a mess to theorize about what the string of events was considering both endings could easily be canon, but I guess I'll get to the point. I'm sure most people have heard plenty of theories about what happens in the game if it's Cassie's Dad as the protagonist, so I'm curious. If you don't think it's him, who do you think is most likely? And (while this is difficult to figure out with any protag..) what do you think is supposed to be happening throughout the game, like, timeline-wise/plot-wise? Personally I feel like Cassie's Dad protag is possible, but I don't think it's set in stone or that he would be a reoccuring character. Imo Cassie's Dad protag works best if he stays a one-off character, building onto Cassie's backstory. I kinda wonder if the "what makes you so special?" lines aren't actually saying he's special, but asking what he thinks makes him special enough to go through all this and survive. Still I'm really curious to hear alternatives! I'm definitely not attatched to that theory lol. I just haven't really heard anything else tbh since the theory's so big in the fandom..

theres tons of evidence (a lot of it already used for cassie dad protag evidence) that apply to Cassie protag. for starters hw2 is obviously incredibly reminiscent of hw1 with its ending. vanny traps you somewhere and waves, the same way glitchtrap trapped you somewhere and waved in hw1s canon ending.

it's been widely accepted that vanny cassie is very possible and the direction the story is going in so playing as cassie in the lobby and going through princess quest and helping vanny and it being implied Vannys using the player as a vessel now the same way glitchtrap used vanessa to create vanny makes it very plausible we play as cassie

theres also the 'unused' line (but they all perfectly apply to the game as it is right now and add much needed context that make the game actually make sense) that's from presumably vanny, saying: "it kept you for a reason"

not only does the it pronoun 100% mean the mimic (and cassie is still down there in the same place where the mimic is literally free rn but alive) but it means that the mimic purposefully didnt kill cassie and also probably was the one to drop the evelator because it has a plan for her. aka the plan is getting vanny a new vessel so mimic can resume operations

the lobby itself also perfectly matches post ruin. you have the vanni mask on first of all, but second of all theres little items around the lobby that hint that you're cassie. like the robot parts strewn around that could imply cassie is trying to repair roxy (theres also the helpy screen)

as for "what makes you so special" I think people are misinterpreting the cassie ending as it being Cassies dad and not a staffbot. it literally shows you straight up that you get attacked by other staffbots and made into maskbot and give cassie the mask. if anything it shows us that Cassies arrival was planned and it's more evidence that we play as her becoming vanny. but its ALSO a perfect explanation for how confusing the minigames are in telling us who we play as

we literally play as a staffbot/mapbot. the minigames go from clean and fixed animatronics to gradually getting worse. even when the pizzaplex is clean and the animatronics are just a bit dirty, we've only seen that in sb. we play as a staffbot from pre sb, during sb, and post sb. "what makes you so special" what makes you so special compared to the other staffbots

it also explains why the animatronics are mean to you. staffbots are seen as useless hunks of junk and its shown all across the pizzaplex and in ruin as well when they're constantly shown discarded and destroyed.

freddy also says the line "you ARE a Fazbear technician, arent you? idk bc I can't see you". it means we literally arent a Fazbear technician. were a staffbot. and the same applies for carnies line about kids. its prerecorded and we're just a robot anyway

I have more posts about all this stuff individually but more in depth in my hw2 theory tag. this is what I genuinely think and I believe cassie is the protag for sure. it just feels so clear with how reminiscent hw2 is of hw1s ending tied with the clear plot of vanny cassie it's just like. why would we play as her dad when we watch ourselves get trapped by vanny the same way vanessa did right in front of our eyes.

we have the cassie ending because it shows us how maskbot got the mask and where it came from. it came from glitchtrap + by extension the mimic and vanny. vanny betrays glitchtrap at the end but also traps cassie in the process. the elevator dropped on cassie in ruin because the mimic did it on purpose to enact this plan. I think hw2 is more straightforward than ppl realize if you put everything together from what we have and dont try your hardest to put other characters in when the game is definitely about vanny cassie

like hw2 and ruin were made at the same time. they go hand in hand and reference eachother in the game, even before one of them was even out. the story is about cassie becoming vanny, the whole thing. this game is an intermission (the song scorched cranberries (the end credits song) is elevator music) showing us how the new villain/character thatll be big in the next plot was created. this is about cassie

maybe her dad will have the spotlight in hw2s dlc. idk. he has something going on but nothing in hw2 I dont think.

#pandas.txt #pandas talks #pandas asks #hw2 theory #hw2 #help wanted 2 #thoughts #theory #superfav #cassie

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celestiarambles · 7 months

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Hey so I found this one meme and honestly I think it does kinda sums up how the fandom treated Angela imo-

But what do you think?

Honestly this made me laugh a little because as an Angela stan, I would really defend her like that (I mean, I even wrote The Pedestal because I was HEARTBROKEN with the revelation and I wanted to be delusional for a little xD)

But yeah, I still acknowledge that she did some bad things; murder, corruption, and bombings are inexcusable. However, Angela didn’t deserve much of the hate she received from the fandom due to the circumstances she had.

Imagine losing your parents at the young age of 8 and taken under the wing of a huge criminal organization. She may have told Lars that she wasn’t brainwashed, but of course you wouldn’t know for yourself if that was the case because you were well… brainwashed. Even during The Darkest Hour, Baxter didn’t immediately tell the Bureau that he aided in the kidnapping because SOMBRA was controlling him. Whether she was brainwashed or not though, imagine the effect of growing up in a criminal organization would have to you.

Looking at this too in an Asian and cultural perspective (because I’m Asian, but I’m not generalizing ALL Asian countries, this is just based on what I’m aware of growing up), Angela has mentioned that she is loyal to SOMBRA because they had practically raised her. One toxic trait in Asian cultures is that you are guilt tripped to “give back” to the family/people who raised you, no matter how big or heavy their requests may be. It could be as simple as letting them live in your house, maybe buying them their own house or other material things, or it can be as big as giving them hefty sums of money or treating you as their retirement fund or something. (In our country, it’s called utang ng loob.) Since the orphan recruitment schemes are prominent in Asian countries, they must’ve then gaslighted and guilt tripped those orphans in that way, hence that’s why Angela felt what she did.

Besides, the only time she had disobeyed SOMBRA was when she married Lars. You can’t tell me that SOMBRA would easily let that slide, especially since she was ranked quite high in their hierarchy. They had probably gaslighted and threatened her about it many times, until she had no choice but to stay loyal just to keep her family safe.

That’s why I find it absurd when some people would portray her as this black-and-white evil villain who’s abusive and possessive, because the only thing she wants is to keep her family safe.

Some people don’t actually hate her because she’s a SOMBRA agent and she killed Lavinia, they hate her because she broke Lars’ heart. Yes, it is wrong, but it isn’t really that easy to confess to your husband that you’re a part of the criminal organization your team is investigating. Admitting to it won’t be that easy either; it could potentially harm her family. SOMBRA’s a lot more deadly and complicated organization that had the power to. She and Lars could’ve gotten killed because of SOMBRA and once they’re gone, they could’ve easily taken the triplets away, thus continuing SOMBRA’s long and deadly cycle. She never wanted her children to get involved in their crimes, in fact she was trying to break the cycle. That’s why she’s so protective. That’s why she also stayed in the Bureau even though it was dangerous for her.

She was also pretty much hated in the same way Karen was hated; Chief King and Frank Knight were “redeemed” by the fandom just because they did it for the family, while she and Karen got hate even though they were also doing it for the family.

Pretty Simple also lacked in terms of fleshing out her character, causing multiple misinterpretations. She had so much potential to be more complex instead of being boxed as that “traitor with no remorse”, but yeah the remaining cases weren’t enough to do that I guess? It’s up to further analysis then!

So yeah, Angela’s not a perfect character, and it’s okay to dislike her for the crimes she did. This is not a character analysis of some sort because this is mostly based on my interpretation and perspectives regarding her, but yeah I just really love her because well, Asian representation and she’s just so complex. I don’t like it when they would paint her as a complete monster though.

#criminal case #criminal case save the world #criminal case game #could be also a generational trauma commentary in a way

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jeork · 2 months

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How to (not) Fight for Love: The Morning after the Wedding

I finally got around to continue reading and reached the part I looked forward to the most, the great debate of chapter 14. As I mentioned in my post ‘Meeting Ralph’, for this read I was particularly interested in looking at Ralph from an “outsiders POV” and exploring why he - although a beloved character in the fandom - seems to often not be very well perceived by casual one-time readers.

This is not about whether the things he says are logically right or wrong, but more so about his communication style, and how IMO he tends to blunder quite a bit. Also, @renaultphile already wrote a really interesting breakdown of the power struggle in chapter 14 here.

First, let’s start with Laurie, through who’s POV Ralph is filtered. Laurie perceives Ralph as calculated, which comes through especially on the morning after the wedding night. In the same vein he appears to misinterpret Ralph’s display of desperation as a display of loose morals. This assessment builds up within him throughout the novel, and fully breaks through to the surface on the day after the wedding night:

„Seven years was a long time, after all, and something had gone.“

He casts Ralph as the lover in Lysia‘s speech. It leaves little leeway and benefit of the doubt for Ralph. Now, while I think Laurie misinterprets the intent behind Ralph‘s calculative behavior, I wouldn't say he is wrong about perceiving it.

Before going through chapter 14, I want to first go back to the morning after the wedding, to look at some of Ralph’s speech mannerisms outside of an argumentative context.

One thing he likes to do is what I would consider to be a sudden switch up. In the morning he seems to very organically fall into one after Laurie mentions how Ralph reminds him of a character from Treasure Island. Previously idle, Ralph suddenly goes into alert ship's captain mode, then immediately switches back to lanquidity after he’s done relaying his shark information. Obviously there was no calculative intent behind this, still it has a slightly off-putting effect on Laurie (and potentially readers). He’s immediately reminded of their power imbalance.

It’s harder to feel at ease with someone who can easily emotionally detour from the shared mood, and then return to it at the drop of a hat. It can come across as if they can’t chill out, or as if they're not emotionally present with you. At worst it can come across as them being fake.

Another habit I think Ralph has is to invert stereotypical expressions that would typically be phrased in regards to oneself (I feel, I am, etc.). He asks „Are you thinking about me?“, as opposed to the more stereotypical expression of “I’m thinking about you.” In this case this inversion is not an issue, I actually think it’s very boyish, indulgent and endearing haha. But this speech mannerism could easily be perceived as a problem when used within a different context.

Later, after Laurie hesitates about moving in with him, Ralph says “You didn‘t think I was going to be difficult, did you?” I feel like a more common phrase to de-escalate a potential argument would be “Sorry if I’m being difficult right now.” (Not saying this is what Ralph should’ve said.)

Sometime afterwards he also says „It half kills me to see you making yourself unhappy like this.“ as opposed to „This situation is making me unhappy (as well).“ Here of course Ralph's own unhappiness is heavily implied (although he phrases it like a hyperbole, which makes it sound more like he's being inconvenienced). But the real focus still lies on Laurie's emotional state.

The way I see it, Mary uses these inverted expressions to reveal a lot about Ralph’s inner emotional states, without him actually having to voice them. On one hand he's too prideful to do so, on the other I guess he's trying to not make it about himself. Still, when taken at face value these statements can come across as patronizing. Everything’s always framed as being for Laurie’s own good, as if he’s being done a favor. It establishes the dynamic of Laurie needing Ralph, without making it clear how much Ralph needs Laurie.

“I know what you’re like without me there.”

This implied dynamic unfortunately goes right to the core of what Laurie’s afraid of. He feels naive and powerless, which ends up turning into the instinct to push back against Ralph.

(Follow-up on how all this flows into their chapter 14 confrontation will come ASAP.)

#the charioteer #mary renault #tc fandom reread

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egg-emperor · 7 months

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Your analysis has been really interesting to read through, but ngl the whole mess around text interpretation has led me to ruminate on the fandom's doings a little. This probably will turn into disjointed ramblings, so please bear with me.

What I think is causing this cognitive dissonance is exactly that cutesy framing of some of Eggman and Sage's moments. Like, I don't believe that Sage was intentionally made to soften Eggman up or something, I believe that he can play the "family" act to keep her loyal to him. However, I won't deny that during my watch of a friend playing it, this specific framing left a slightly weird aftertaste, which I now see is what can easily cause so many misinterpretations of the scenes. Like, for example, the memo with Sage's pronouns. After seeing a lot of talk around the memos in general, what seems to throw people off from thinking that Eggman could be just using this as yet another play into her view of him as her father to keep her loyal is "why does he suddenly care about endearing himself to his own creation when he freely disregarded his previous creations". It can be interpreted in character, but there's just a smidge of off-ness that can be hard to wash out for some.

Not gonna lie, I kinda envy the ability of people like to at least mostly ignore the majority of the fandom's shenanigans and drama, cause I think that also plays a part imo, specifically this weird need to somehow ingratiate Sonic as a series to the mainstream, generally non-fan crowd. Like, the onus obviously should be on the people who misinterpret the text and see what's not there, yet these people also tend to be the loudest. And most non-fans seeing it just assume that's what the fandom as a whole thinks, and that's what the text actually is about. After all, nowadays Sonic is all but advertised as "its a kids game for babies so don't think about the story too much, it doesnt make sense in the end anyway", even by fans trying to genuinely recommend the series sometimes. And you'd think that there'd be pushback against this sort of mentality, but somehow, a majority of the Sonic fandom remains almost... defeatist? Like, either they can't argue to save their lives or just passively accept the misinformation. The people actually doing the analysis and all get disregarded as no-life nerds and are told that "no amount of analysis can make a product worth the money".

It's just... I dunno how or why or when it all started going like this, but at some point, the way people talked about media in general just caused immensely screwed. Discussions only seem to happen when someone wants to further validate their pre-established biases about a thing and it all just feels wrong.

Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to read and consider my analysis.

We seem to feel quite similarly. I'm not a fan of the cutesy framing of certain moments because it's not my thing and definitely makes it easier for fans to misinterpret. The casual fan, especially if they don't catch all context in the memos and apply them to the scenes to notice the undertones and understand Eggman's side of the dynamic, or if they're the kind who that stuff can appeal to and affect emotionally/they'd rather ignore the more unsettling aspects in discomfort, they're going to get it wrong.

I think the cutscenes mostly have the issue of focusing too much on Sage's side of the dynamic over Eggman's. A bunch of most important details of Eggman's side comes from the memos, which is great from the standpoint of being right from his personal perspective and words, so we get to know exactly how he thinks and feels- but not so great for those who won't listen or piece together what they learned from them with the scenes for needed context.

But Sage wasn't supposed to soften Eggman up. In the story he's still a bad guy wanting to do bad, wishing he could get out of Cyber Space to, and Sage appeals because of what she can do for him, how she's crucial to his survival, supports his desire for world domination and shows undying loyalty. The way some moments are framed as cute doesn't take away from it, a unhealthy dynamic can appear as cute and wholesome with unsettling undertones.

Ian Flynn pretty much describes it that way by saying you're supposed to feel happy for Sage but Eggman is a bad person and warming up to it for all the wrong reasons. It's intentionally more complex than what the loudest people who love and hate it are saying. I can see what Flynn means because all the pieces are there in the actual game for me to point out and analyze. They just could've been emphasized a bit more.

All you need is the memo where he talks about liking how Sage is loyal and efficient and accepting the father role because it can emphasize his genius and the pride he can take as her creator, then apply it to every interaction and you can see it. Eggman can play the act to appeal to Sage's desire for that dynamic and praise her actions as a way to further encourage her for her loyalty and efficiency, all for those selfish benefits.

It's how manipulation works and Eggman absolutely can and will play up the part with these conditions for the benefits, he's done similarly in the past. It's intentionally not done in the common verbal and physical abns!ve way like he does most commonly with his other creations, it's more emotionally manipulative. It makes the most sense for how he wants to further encourage her good work and loyalty, not lose it.

I can get why you felt that way. It's part of why I had the wrong idea of Frontiers Eggman's at first and it ruined my first experience playing it. The cute framing of certain moments, combined with fans taking these scenes and latching onto the misinterpretations from the moment it dropped and drilling into your head how they think we should think and feel while ignoring key details that disprove it, made me believe it for too long.

But had I not seen the misinterpretation and paid attention and did my usual analysis, which I closed my mind to in my first playthrough in ignorance, I would've caught on a lot faster. Just like how knowing what I know now after properly analyzing it then going into Final Horizon and avoiding what fandom was saying, made my experience more pleasant and let me think and interpret for myself. The fandom is still mostly to blame.

Yeah, the cute moments can give the wrong idea when you don't have all the context. But the context is in the game to piece together and understand why it's happening in a way that works for Eggman's character. I also think while he is of course playing the act, it's also framed cute as it is because we're seeing it more from Sage's side in the scenes, as it's a very different vibe in the memos where it's actually Eggman's side.

Maybe always being able to see the worst in Eggman (positively and affectionately lol 🥰💜) helps but I only see the memos as unsettling now. His creation starts to appear as more of a person to him so he thinks about how he can use it to his benefit by taking pride in his impressive scientific ability to create something so life-like as an artificial creation over the unimpressive traditional organic way he scoffs at and expresses aversion to.

He says if he created life it'd be "loyal and perfectly effective", which is fucked up thing to look for in your child, and says it's specifically because he's the genius creator/father, giving himself all credit and taking pride in her accomplishments as a reflection of his genius. It's selfish, egotistical, creepy, everything a parent shouldn't do. I can see what makes it unsettling in all his words. So many things are wrong with him I love it 😋💘

I really don't have much of an issue with that memo. It's one of the most misinterpreted but it's simply where he starts to realize that almost the whole time he's been calling her a "she" instead of an "it" like the program she was created to be. He actually starts just five after first mentioning her, in memo 13. He subconsciously sees her as a person and refers to her like such that fast due to how human and life-like she is.

Three memos after he's like wait why am I calling it a she? And wonders whether to call her an it like the program she was created to be or a she like he's seeing her as instead. Then another three after comes the disturbing memo about him creating life, so him establishing whether he's going to call her "she" or not leads to him thinking about how he can take pride and credit in her by establishing himself as her genius creator/father.

It's another of those cases where if context is removed it's more likely for people to get the wrong idea, especially if they're the type to be blinded by the cuteness factor but when you have the context of before and after and considering the important terms of why he values her at all with the she's an impressive life-like loyal and efficient creation and her dad is a genius memo, again it makes sense and is in character.

The "she's the best" line is one of the only parts I'd change, he's far too egotistical to say that about anyone else. It doesn't make sense because the whole reason he values her is what she does for him and the pride he can take in her, literally because he sees himself as the best person ever lol. Just specifying what she's the best of, like of his creations or something would've worked, not making it sound like he's saying in general.

But guess what? Apparently it was changed in Japanese in the translation I saw, to say she was just doing great or something lol. It's a case where I can make sense of it in English as her being the best in a specific area can again give himself credit as the creator as he's intentionally supposed to but the word choice was poor. But every time I felt a line should've been changed a bit, the Japanese version had me covered. XD

Back to the point- it's also important to consider that he's praising her in this memo with the important preface of saying that Sage has been crucial to his survival in Cyber Space and listing the ways she has served him well. It's on the condition of him getting something out of it every time. And in memo 19 we know he wants to take pride in her skill and accomplishments and take credit as her creator, so any praise is self praise.

So I can't be mad at the game, I think even in moments that had some level of cuteness factor to appeal to those into that which certainly worked on them, there was established context that made it work and in character, enough to piece it together and understand it. But some people's minds go blank with the "aww so cute" reaction and desire for it to be simply pure and wholesome so they don't think about it any more to do so.

I've been learning to avoid it just by stepping back from fandom because I'm less interested the more I see the drama and bad takes. Now I only see things if I'm forcibly subjected through someone else putting it on my dash/it's recommended/etc. A large majority of fandom is anti canon and literally admit it so I feel like I don't belong in it as a huge fan of it that enjoys celebrating it in my fan creations and discussions.

It suffers from the simplification and sanitization that modern fandom tends to do now, so they can fit all characters and stories into certain boxes and use them as bases to project fan character traits and concepts onto instead of celebrating canon. It makes it more appealing and mainstream and easier to consume by the crowd that stuff succeeds in appealing to. It's to the point it replaces people's memory/idea of it.

So of course from the outside looking in especially, non fans are going to believe that's what the text actually contains, especially since they get exposure to the fandom's twisting of canon and it's drilled into their heads how to think and feel about it by them, before they've even seen the games themselves. Then they find it hard to shut that out and look at the games alone for what they are. That happened to me with Frontiers.

Then of course you have people acting like the series "is just for babies and inconsistent and not good anyway you shouldn't think too hard about it", as if Sega JP especially haven't shown themselves to be incredibly passionate about the stories and characters they write. It is supposed to be that deep lol. And thinking that deeply is a good thing, as if it's better than just shutting our minds off and consume product.

That's why I've allowed myself to think as deeply as I want about Frontiers. I love analyzing every moment and line down to the last word and detail. Regardless of opinion on the concepts and how they were executed, it was intended to be thought about. I don't think it should be considered micro analyzing and thinking too hard about something ever. I'm looking at it in ways official writers have described it to be anyway.

The mentality is popular so there isn't much pushback. Plus I'm starting to see it in both people who say they don't like the games and those who say they're fans so I feel alienated for wanting to think deeper and seeing there can be more than meets the eye with characters and scenes. While clarification can be important so things aren't misinterpreted quite as easily, it's nice for there to be stuff to think about.

Nobody really wants to debate and discuss now. A majority intentionally oppose learning more about the media or hearing out other people. They take the challenging of one's perspective or a disagreement as an argument and act like it's intended as hate from the other person when that's not the case. They're like "I don't want to change my opinion, nobody can convince me, let me enjoy things how I want", etc.

I myself was a bit ignorant at first on the topic of Frontiers. I was convinced I didn't like Eggman's portrayal but it was all based on what fandom was telling me it was and how to feel when the actual game was actually way different. When I finally took suggestions of new perspectives, then shut fandom out and focused solely on canon with my mind open and willing to analyze it again, I saw it in a new light and enjoyed it.

Now some certainly think I'm a low life nerd, as I've been told "it's nice to be a fan until it "becomes serious" and by people saying they don't care what I have to say as if I have to do exactly what they want- because it's bad to be passionate and wanting to think deeply about something I guess. :P I'd rather be doing that than shutting it down. Canon is cool, analysis is good, being passionate and thinking about stuff is fun.

You really hit the nail on the head with that. I've always enjoyed being open minded, analyzing media carefully, hearing out different perspectives, and having discussions. But I made the mistake myself at one point with Frontiers and I regret it because as soon as I realized I almost became what I was against and changed it for the better, it became a lot more enjoyable again. It's always good to stay open minded!

#dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #asks #my post #sonic frontiers

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add1ctedt0you · 5 months

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Me screaming about zcx because I need to sort out thoughts about them for a fic I'll probably never write

The fic is centered on fem!zcx as teens, because I can't deal with them as adults, so I am (trying really) going to understand their dynamics and brain problems as teens.

So, starting with the easy one: lan wangji. Teen!lwj biggest issues is discovering new things: sexual desire, attraction, - people, in general. lwj had been sheltered as a kid in a way that didn't let him learn how to deal with the world, imo. Also, he's stuck with Lan 3,000 rules, so puberty is a nightmare for him. I can figure out both his relationships with wwx and jc: both of them, in different way, have shattered his convictions and beliefs and this, plus an amount of sexual attraction he feels for both, is going to make him feel ten things at once. And he's going to like none of this. Obviously, his journey of self-discovery is internal and no one knows about it because lwj's problem, imo, is that he feels a lot and he feels deeply but he can't express himself.

Now comes the problem: chengxian. Imo, one of the biggest formative moment of their relationship is when jfm took away jc's dogs: that day they both learned that jc will lose things for wwx. And it fucked up both of them. Mm, not an hill I'll die on, but imo teen!jc and teen!wwx used to talk about their problems: like, we have the whole 'twin pride' speech, because wwx wants to work out their problems there. And then, during the wedding scene, again, jc brought up problems, that wwx brushed off, but still, they communicated (they also at some point start to misinterpret each other. But that's different).

Their biggest problem, imo, is that they don't feel loved by each other, they feel both a burden for the other AND someone the other would replace easily with someone else (and no, it's not only a jc's fear; like, yes, he's much more likely to get on his own head about this, but teen!wwx passed from being teen!sect heir jc most-important-person to being not-the-only-person for very busy sect leader jc. I've read this on a fic and still hunts me. The whole deal of wwx, in general, is that nothing is as it was and this hurts him but we don't talk about it).

They are a mess. They hurt each other daily intentionally (jc) and unintentionally (wwx). But, they will face so much for the other because their love is stronger. (post res wwx is different- he's so tired and resentful, but we don't talk about it). Their relationship is doomed from the start but the love is there.

(Also, they have shaped each other in irreparable ways. wwx uses emotional manipulation to get his way because that's what worked with jc. jc uses threats because that is what worked with wwx.)

About their pov: mmm, I'll probably found a lot of problems with wwx's pov, because, honestly, how can you write about someone who can't acknowledge ONE emotion and can't do the math (emotionally. In real life I hate math. Also, someone should explain to me how he got from crying jc to noncon surgery. How).

Also, wwx's pov is seriousness treated crackily, while lwj's pov is a teen drama. And jc's pov is a soup opera.

#Mostly it's about #Chengxian #It's incoherent and I am not getting to anything but now I've a headache #zhanchengxian

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drudeger · 6 days

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honestly I've been thinking about the advice "just draw as much as you can" and while j get the sentiment behind it, I also feel like it could very easily be misinterpreted to mean "rush through every drawing so you can make even more drawings and you will improve :)" which is obviously. not entirely correct.

a better way to put it, imo, is saying "getting through a drawing even if it's not perfect is more conducive to improving your art than never finishing a drawing because you can't make it perfect."

#does this make sense #art advice #goodeger #spam

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vro0m · 3 days

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With Toto it very often seems to be an issue with his own word choices and tone that don’t come across well, in particular in writing, and then on top of it, it oftentimes gets slightly mistranslated and therefore misinterpreted.

Even when he speaks in German, he sometimes struggles to put coherent sentences together imo.

Idk if other TPs have this issue and i just don’t pay attention to them? So many of them would also have a slight language barrier or reason to be emotional etc, and yet they seem to have better control of what statements get put out there.

I think at Merc it could be a real issue that Toto is part owner and has so much control that he can just do whatever and no one in their comms team actually dares to say “hey maybe you should stop talking”. Unless there’s also an issue in their entire comms department where they just don’t realize how Toto and the whole team by extension come across????

But anytime James Allison or Bradley Lord put out statements it’s a lot more measured so they should be front and center, and Toto should get a lot more coaching on how he speaks publicly.

Yeah I agree + I really think there's something cultural to the way he expresses himself and to the way he's being (mis)interpreted and then on top of that some fans have decided that he's deliberately coming for Lewis so it adds another layer of misinterpretation that's not always applied in good faith imo.

If you take Vasseur his frenchness is absolutely off the charts in his way of communicating as well lol it comes with its own challenges imo but Vasseur being extremely nonchalant and phlegmatic as a person vs Toto being emotional and easily flustered, it doesn't cause problems for Ferrari.

I feel like Merc is a very hierarchical structure and maybe that's why nobody really wants or is able to tell Toto to shut up or think twice.

But also sometimes he isn't being an asshole he's really just being misinterpreted. More often than not I can see what it is he was trying to say, how he failed to communicate that the way he wanted, and how some fans have decided to twist it a bit further to make it even worse.

#vro0m's asks

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always-a-joyful-note · 1 year

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Thinking some fandom thoughts and then about ORV's portrayal of an author-character-reader relationship with the story and realising how....lacking at times the whole death of the author perspective on media can be.

(Turned out to be long and rambly so I put it under a cut. If you like death of the author, probably not for your worldview? Also, beware major ORV spoilers if you care about that)

Like, perhaps I'm misinterpreting something here, but in ORV, we had these three characters plus an entire system that gave us a look into the relationship between author/reader/character. And focusing on the Han Sooyoung, Kim Dokja, and Yoo Joonghyuk dynamic, I realise that none of them really died. Pushing asides Joonghyuk and Dokja for the moment (as I am talking about death of the author), we have Han Sooyoung whose consciousness faded after finishing Ways of Survival.

However, I don't know if we can really call that death of the author, really. Because Sooyoung's whole purpose in writing ORV, her authorial intention, was to save Kim Dokja's life...which she DID. And even after the story left her hands, her intentions were imprinted into the story itself. Yes, Dokja realised that the system was lenient to him because of (spoiler alert) his status as the OD. But at the same time, I think that Han Sooyoung's authorial intent to keep Dokja alive with WoS can also be taken as a factor in the system's leniency towards our reader.

And just jumping from that back to my original point, while death of the author IS fun and can be awesome for reinterpreting stories that the author may have intended as problematic (to our modern standards, at least), to separate the actual story itself from its creator seems just....a tad disrespectful to the author.

Or maybe disrespectful isn't the right word. Like, say, even if said author is objectively the worst of humans, there remains the fact that the story in essence has part of them embedded into it. It doesn't make sense, at least to me, to only give "morally okay" writers the allowance of people who put a part of themselves in their works. Any writer, even those who are writing for money imo, can't help but put part of their own selves into their story...and to separate the story from the author just because we hate the author or hate their beliefs seems a bit counter-productive. You can't just say, after all, that this author's vulnerability in their writing is okay because it's Correct but this other guy's vulnerability should be ignored because it's chalk full of Problematic Content.

But again, that's not to justify authors you dislike or the deeply wrong messages implied in their works. Especially those that could easily be shooed away by employing death of the author. But I think I'd consider fanfic or analyses that ignore authorial intent and their message to be something...new entirely? (Best way I can say it is something something death of an author employed to help the reader create their own narrative inspired by someone else's story rather than it being used to ignore author intent and claim our interpretation is what canon actually meant).

I think there's a saying in music as well as writing that you could play the same exact score or write the same story, it's just that things will come out different depending on the player or writer. (That's not a perfect comparison because the player/musician who WROTE the score could be considered a reader/author relationship...the point is more that the same thing will look different in the hands of different people. And that just as the reader will interpret something in their own way when reading/re-reading (another ORV reference), the author also has placed in their own interpretation and intent in that own work...which should at worst be respected because they DID make that content (and then we proceed to brutally revise it to make something we like better xD) or at best be taken as "word of god" for lack of a better term)

Not sure if any of this makes sense, and I definitely don't have any factual evidence to back up this opinion, but it was just something I was thinking of.

TL:dR? Death of the author is FUN and actually pretty cool but I think the things coming out of it are new(ish) things/works entirely, and og author's beliefs/intentions are important to consider for that text they wrote in of itself.

#honestly this thought came from scrolling through the narnia tag and feeling slight despair over movies vs book #and also a bit of a surprise at how MANY people still believe in the problem of susan....like i thought we were past that?#and how many people dont seem to get or like that cs lewis' christianity deeply inspired it #or how much historical and cultural context we might need to understand some of the choices #like the pevensies whole isekai regressions #another example i can think of is lotr....and another is funny enough the bible #but those arent things i know well enough #but yeah....orv and narnia conspiring together for this nonsense of mine #again disclaimer this really isnt meant to attack anyone or say im right...its just another opinion to be lost in the sea of internet #but yeah....i did kinda get carried away xD...my poor rambles never get any good transitions #fandom spamdom #note's nonsense #things about writing #orv spoilers #another disclaimer i wrote this after having been awake for like....almost 19 hours coherence be gone #but yeeting it into the void nevertheless #i also think there was a post circulating once that talked about death of the author not being actually used in academic circles #excuse me rambling in the tags

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jackiebrackettt · 11 months

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9 & 1 for jwi :3? for the violence ask game!

[ask game]

1) the character everyone gets wrong

ooo for jrwi this is hard. I don’t think I can think of anyone? oh wait rumi. fuck, easily it’s rumi. I’m gonna say ppl are better about rumi now and also it’s not like.. all That bad when he is misinterpreted

but watching apotheosis as it came out (albeit starting later) made me feel like i was watching a different show bc I Knew rumi didn’t have any ulterior motives - not to the extent that ppl were suggesting. and fuck the rolleds were So rough.. o(-( they did Not trust him. and for partially good reason but a lot of it was unfair imo

and now it’s just like. i think rumi/elena is a very complex character with a lot going on so it’s easy to misunderstand them in some minor way that throws the whole balance slightly off. like there’s probably stuff I’m misinterpreting too o(-(

9) worst part of canon

it’s a cop out to say the ableism but also. yeah. uhmm what else can I think of? can’t really think of anything for the others rn so for bitb -> i think what happened with kian’s story at the end kind of sucked a bit. i don’t really know how they’d change it bc it just came down to a roll and call of Cthulhu is a pretty rough game but you know. it just felt like he had a second chance at life and didn’t really get to do anything. which could fit into the overall themes etc etc but idk

i like the moments he gave us when he got revived - I think they do a lot for his character - but in terms of story function I don’t think there was enough for it to not just feel kind of pointless. which means I would want his second death changed so it didn’t happen and maybe he got to contribute something else to the plan of “taking down the Queen” (<- if that even actually happened)

#asks #ask game #transsmp #ty :]!!

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hauntedpearl · 2 years

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Regarding your last ask. Turning your anger against random spn bloggers is really not changing the system IMO. There needs to be an open conversation about racism in this fandom, but nothing is gonna change if you alienate everyone who is willing to listen to your righful anger by harassing and guilt tripping them. The We vs. Them mentality is not helping the cause at all.

okay. see..now i feel like you're misinterpreting what I said in that post.

let me reiterate so it's clear: people of colour don't owe white people their forgiveness. we don't owe them our time of the day. we don't owe them any kind of accommodation.

we should definitely be compassionate, because that's something all people should be, but that is not something that should come at the cost of our discomfort or pain.

and in most cases, when we call people out, it is because we're hurt. anger isn't without hurt. that much, you should know.

i do agree that things can spiral very fast and it becomes an us v/s them thing, but, AGAIN, the reason we have to seek other poc and band together IS BECAUSE OF WHITE PEOPLE. LIKE.

the onus of making this situation easier to deal with is 100% on all the white people in the fandom.

i mean, sure, poc could stand to be a little more "easygoing" or less "reactionary" but think critically for one second. why do you think we are like that?? why do you think we get tired so easily!? why do you think we lash out, are so quick to anger??

look around you, man.

I'm used to this kind of conversation and i do it willingly, so my tolerance for white bullshit is very high. which is not and should not be the norm!! there should not be any white bullshit to start with!!! that was the point of the post!

don't say that poc are alienating you. maybe understand that they're lashing out for a reason and try and not take it personally. do better. and if you find yourself wanting to stop this situation from spiralling, and also feel like you have a good grasp of the situation, insert yourself into it and moderate the conversation you are asking for. like. take responsibility. don't get mad at kids on the internet who are tired of seeing people like them get shit on in every imaginable way every time they go online.

like..please don't let that be the takeaway from my post.

i do understand where your frustration is coming from because i also experience it all the time. and the mudslinging is. like. oof. exhausting. but we gain nothing from turning on poc. we gain absolutely nothing!!! yes, there needs to be an open conversation, but i think maybe, there also needs to be a lot of private acknowledgement of problems and conversations at the same time. like if you feel like you cant approach poc, approach the white person you think can help you best. that's all. like. idk how else to say this, but don't blame the righteous anger. definitely not when it comes to this particular situation.

(also there's an intersection to. like. the social media attitude towards what's moral and what's not and that's a whole can of worms i don't wanna touch and that contributes to what you're talking about too but again!!! we need to work on those things but we can't be mad at poc anger that's just not it)

#doe's inbox #anon #ANON LIKE. IM SORRY IF IT'S COMING OFF A LIL MEAN BUT WE CAN'T BE DOING THIS OKAY LIKE.#let people be angry i promise it's not always bad #tw racism

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alienside · 2 years

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hypothetically if you had the possibility to adapt tsh and sky sea into any other type of media what would you adapt them as?? what parts of the story would you focus on in the adaptation and what parts would get left behind (would overall themes change at all? character interactions? worldbuilding and plot? etc etc)?? how would telling the story in a visual medium change them for better or worse?? how would people online horribly misinterpret the story or what do you think theyd say about it?? (this is a longass question answer as much of it as you want LOL)

your MIND okay

mixed feelings on sky sea tbh because i think from a worldbuilding/aesthetic standpoint an animation of some kind would be better BUT a live-action thing would let a lot of dialogue get flattened into significant Looks that are exchanged (which imo works best with live action but CAN be done w animation too). i also think that sky sea could be adapted really well to an episodic style in that their shenanigans could easily be translated to the mini self contained plots with overarching seasonal themes. buuuuut on the other hand u could in theory cut out a lot of the fluff and make the core plot into a standalone movie. i personally think i’d prefer the episodic thing (the character development that could happen here… muah) but hollywood would eat up the standalone movie concept bc of its tendency to flatten characters into What Sells.

i think whether it’s episodic or not an audience would flatten the characters the same? u know. rugged adventurers, snotty princess, Troubled (tm). the difference is that with a series there’s more room for character development so i like to think that there’d be like a portion of the audience devoted to gifsets of parallels and how characters have changed!! with a movie it’d be more about how shippable the characters are.

also because a huge huge huge part of sky sea is. yknow. relationships and old history. a LOT of that tension is portrayed via aderyn and keldan’s internal monologues, which you’d lose in pretty much any screen adaptation but could keep in a comic format. in a screen adaptation the only way to convey that history would be overzealous use of flashbacks (yes i have brainrot but leverage has like. the best use of flashbacks in any show/film ever so i’d probably do that style if anything).

i do kind of think that any adaptation would be more humorous, which tells me that either my book needs to be funnier or something something literature is weightier. idk but i do love the idea of sky sea as a comic book series/webcomic and i think the worldbuilding lends itself well to dramatic “camera” angles so to speak.

tsh HAS to be a live action mini series. like i would simply refuse anything else. there’s enough plot there that trying to cram it all into a movie would be overwhelming and it wouldn’t allow for any downtime or slower moments. the pacing would be so fucked. episodes would let there still be some fluff and softer parts (which are also critical) without sacrificing the plot. it’d be the kind of show with like one season of 8-10 episodes tho; unlike sky sea, tsh has a very definite beginning and end, and it would be a lot more difficult (read: impossible) to pad out with shenanigans the way u could with sky sea.

the live action is an absolute requirement for me. tsh is ultimately a story about humanity (fun fact: originally some of the characters were vampires and fae and the like, bc urban fantasy, but then i realized that the whole 'morality' theme wouldn't hit as hard with monstrous characters aka the ppl the readers expect to have dubious morals anyway), which means seeing real humans do the things the characters do. like idk i love animations but the ‘real’ aspect would get lost in the art style if that makes sense.

as far as worldbuilding goes i would probably simplify the magic system? or at the very least i think it isn't particularly necessary to explain it in a lot of depth. u know. soft magic systems.

also tsh would be the kind of show where ppl would be like "you have to watch it, it's got gay people" "okay what's the plot" "..... there's gay people" BUT there would be a select corner of fandom where everyone is as insane as you and i are. they're writing essays about themes and analysis and symbolism and i love them for it. mwah

idk what else to say even tho im sure i missed stuff so tl;dr (even tho i know you read everything anyway): sky sea would be an ongoing tv series with ideally a game of thrones-style fandom (except imagine if got didn't have the worst series ending in television history) doing the like. gifsets and parallels and in-depth meta analysis. tsh would be a one-season mini-series and most of the fandom would talk about literally anything except the important themes and character development <3

#.txt #ttotss #the starless hour #aghhhhh ben i LOVE this #sorry if i missed something you Wanted answered but like feel free to ask clarifying questions idc

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fonulyn · 3 months

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So i saw on the 2023 in review post that you said a your fics 'flopped', what exactly did you mean by that. I know this can be relative but do you mean not getting comments or kudos or something else? I have kept up with your works and purely from my perspective it seems like you get comments and engagement and that so many others get enjoyment out of them (and say that).

I don't have an ao3 account, but when I heard about how important things like comments were to authors, I made an effort to leave guest comments on fics and authors know if I liked something. I don't quite know if this is enough, but I'm not really sure what else readers can do.

I mean comments. I know some people track hits or hit/kudos ratios or whatever else but i don't give a damn about ratios, it's all in the comments for me. the very point of fandom is to share things you love with likeminded people and get to actually talk about them, imo, so when I try to share a thing I loved and there's barely any response then it defeats the whole purpose to me and I am left starving.

and lol I get engagement? yeah sure some fics do get comments. but I've also posted multiple works (oneshots or chapters to bigger fics) that have gotten absolutely zero comments. none. nada. nothing. not even one. granted, full disclosure, I cried about it on tumblr and a couple of kind souls took pity on me and so not all of them are at zero currently, but the initial silence still hurt. there are fics that have been posted for months (or years) and are still at two comments, maybe three. on average I get three or four comments per fic. so I wouldn't exactly say I get great engagement. i know this is jealousy speaking but watching others get ten times that, easily, and not only on ao3 but also on tumblr… yeah it stings. I put my heart and soul into a fic, am excited to post it, am vibrating with enthusiasm… and then nothing. or a lukewarm response at best.

so idk, if "so many others" get enjoyment out of them, then why don't they tell me? I have gotten multiple messages along the lines of "oh you know i love all your fics!" and… how do i know? you never left a single comment and i'm not psychic! there's no way for me to know it. or people who send me a message saying they read everything i wrote and loved them… but didn't leave a single comment. how much did they actually enjoy the works if they couldn't be bothered to say it on even one damn fic? those messages are lovely, i do appreciate them, and they do make me smile. but at the same time i'd trade them for a single good comment on ao3 in a heartbeat. that's what's easily accessible and what i can go back to when i feel discouraged and unseen.

(also idk if i'm reading wrong between the lines but it feels like you're telling me you're for some reason keeping up with my shit while not actually enjoying it but ohh 'so many others do' at least? apologies if that's just my cranky morning brain misinterpreting things but ouch. that was kind of harsh.)

but it's also not only the amount of comments, it's also the substance. there are some fics that got (gasp!) four whole comments but they're all along the lines of "nice!" or "💖" and as much as those do make me smile when I get them (and I genuinely do appreciate them!) at the same time they are not feedback. they don't give me anything to work with. what did they like? was there something specific? please talk to me about it!

I'd kill to get actual feedback. it's the dream that people would notice the clever reference i made, or the beautiful sentence i wrote, or the way the beginning tied to the end. or tell me about the emotions the fic brought them, or the thoughts, or their favorite part, or idk. it's not like i get gushing messages on tumblr either, unlike some others, talking about a specific fic or whatever.

simply put, it's really fucking lonely, and if I wanna keep posting fics I'd need some kind of a motivating factor to make it worth the effort. for a while I had a friend who gave me plentiful feedback and I lived off of that, and it made it easier to deal with the scarcity of comments, but now that ship has sailed. so the lack of engagement from the rest of the fandom is more acutely felt.

i'm not saying this to guilt trip people or to nag. it's simply stating a fact. if posting fic isn't a positive experience, why should i keep doing it?

#anonymous #ask and i shall answer #not sure what your tone was meant to be tbh #but here we are #and again: short comments are absolutely lovely too!#not dissing them at all!#but at the same time they're not feedback #and my brain needs feedback to make this worth it #so idk

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