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queenshelby · 15 days

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The Law Student (Rewritten)

Part Four: Mistakes

Pairing: Cillian Murphy (20) & Reader (30)

Note: This plays in 1996, just before Cillian drops out of law school.

"Can I ask you something, Miss Y/LN?" he said, addressing you with a formality that was endearing in its earnestness.

"Of course, Cillian," you replied, mirroring his formality but unable to suppress the slight tremble in your voice.

You could feel your heart beating faster as you waited for his question, unsure of where this conversation was headed.

Cillian took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before continuing. "Do you think that, sometimes, people can fall for one another despite their best efforts not to?" he asked, his gaze locked onto yours.

His question hung in the air between you, heavy with meaning and implications. You swallowed hard, unprepared for his directness.

The night air had grown colder, and you shivered involuntarily. The intimacy of the moment was palpable, a magnetic pull drawing you closer to this handsome young man who seemed so intent on understanding the mysteries of human connection.

"Uhm, I suppose so," you answered, trying to keep your voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions racing through you. "But I should really, uhm , get some rest now," you added hurriedly, avoiding his gaze. You wanted to run away from this intense connection and the confusing emotions it evoked.

As you fumbled with your keys, trying to unlock the building's entrance, Cillian reached out and gently placed a hand on your arm. "Wait," he said, softly. You froze, your heart pounding in your chest.

Slowly, carefully, he pulled you towards him. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," he whispered, his eyes searching yours for a sign that you were okay. "But I just can't stop thinking about you, Miss Y/LN," he told you , his voice barely above a whisper.

"Cillian , I-," you started to protest, but he silenced you with a gentle finger on your lips.

"No, don't say anything," he murmured. "I know I am crossing a line here. But, I don't know. I just had to take my chances I suppose," Cillian admitted honestly and his words hung between you in the cool night air.

You could feel his breath against your skin, and your body involuntarily leaned closer to him. Cillian's hand moved from your arm to cup your cheek, and he gently brushed away a stray lock of hair that had fallen in front of your eyes. His touch sent shivers down your spine, and you suddenly felt very aware of how close he was.

"Would you, uhm, like to come inside?" you heard yourself ask, surprising both yourself and him.

You weren't sure where this was going, or what would happen next, but you knew that you couldn't just let him go without clearing the air between you.

Cillian's eyes widened in shock for a brief moment, but then a small smile played on his lips, and he nodded.

Without a word, you turned and unlocked the building's door, leading him up the stairs to your apartment. Your heart raced with every step, unsure of what would happen next.

"Come in ," you murmured, pushing the door open to reveal a cozy and warmly lit living space.

The furniture, dimly illuminated by a standing lamp, consisted of a plush couch and an oversized armchair, sitting opposite a cream-colored coffee table adorned with a large vase of fresh flowers.

Cillian hesitated for a moment before stepping inside, his eyes scanning the space with an intense curiosity.

You closed the door behind him, the sound of the latch clicking into place echoing in the silence that followed.

"Can I offer you something to drink?" you asked, breaking the silence. You could feel his gaze on you, but you didn't dare meet his eyes. Instead, you walked towards the kitchen area, your movements deliberate and measured.

"Sure," Cillian replied, his voice husky and low. You could sense the tension building between you, the anticipation making your heart race.

You busied yourself with pouring two glasses of wine, taking your time to steady your shaking hands.

The clinking of glass against the countertop filled the apartment, punctuating the charged silence.

As you turned around to face him, you saw that Cillian had taken off his coat and had draped it across the back of one of your kitchen chairs.

His eyes were locked on yours, the intensity in his gaze setting your skin on fire.

Slowly, deliberately, you made your way towards him, the glasses of wine barely registering in your hands.

"Listen, uhm, Cillian," you began, your voice barely above a whisper as you struggled to find the right words. "I want you to know that I really appreciate your kindness and, I guess, your honesty as well," you trailed off, finally mustering the courage to meet his gaze. "But this, this thing between us, it can't happen," you said, your voice steady despite the swarm of emotions consuming you.

Cillian opened his mouth to protest, but you placed a finger on his lips, effectively silencing him just as he had done with you earlier.

"Please, just listen," you implored him. "I can feel it too, the pull between us, but it's wrong. You're my student. I'm your professor and if I was to pursue anything with you then I could lose my job, my reputation, everything I've worked for. Despite, you're young and ambitious, with a bright future ahead of you. You should be with someone your own age," you told him, pushing the glass of wine into his hand. You knew you were making excuses and that the real reason was that you were afraid. Afraid of what would happen if you gave in to this attraction, afraid of the consequences, and afraid of losing yourself in the process.

But Cillian wouldn't back down and placed the wineglass back on the table. He took a step forward, closing the gap between you, leaving you with no room to retreat. You looked up at him, your breath hitched, and your heart pounding heavily in your chest. The tension was building up; you could feel the heat radiating from his body, and the electricity that sparked as your hands brushed against one another.

"I don't want girls my age. They are boring. Predictable. Sometimes, I even feel like I can't breathe when I'm around them," Cillian said, his deep blue eyes never leaving yours. "I want someone like you."

His confession hung heavy in the air, and you couldn't help but feel your resolve crumbling. You knew that giving in to this attraction was a dangerous game, but you couldn't deny the pull you felt towards him.

"Cillian," you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper but Cillian didn't seem to hear the warning in your voice.

All he heard was the longing, the desire that you tried so hard to suppress. And before you knew it, his hands were cupping your face , drawing you close. His gaze dropped to your lips, and you could see the hunger, the anticipation in his blue eyes. You closed your eyes, bracing yourself for the moment you knew was coming, but you couldn't deny the thrill, the excitement that coursed through your veins. You felt his breath against your lips, and then time stood still. You felt his lips brush against yours, gently, hesitantly, and then more confidently. It was a kiss, sweet and tender, but with a promise of more to come.

"Cillian, I don't think we should be doing this," you murmured, your voice a breathy whisper, but your words fell on deaf ears as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss.

You felt a shiver run down your spine at his touch, and you realized that resisting him was futile. You let yourself sink into the kiss, your heart pounding with desire.

The kiss quickly became heated, and you could feel the chemistry between you ignite, setting your body on fire and it was at this point that you took over control.

You reached for Cillian's shirt, pulling it over his head and letting it fall beside you on the floor. His chest was lean and firm, with a small patch of chest hair covering his skin.

You ran your hands over his bare skin, relishing the feel of his warm skin beneath your fingertips. Cillian let out a low moan as your fingers trailed over his abs, making their way down to the hem of his jeans.

"Oh my goodness Cillian, you are already so hard," you murmured, running your thumb over the growing bulge in his pants.

Cillian blushed heavily. "Well, you have this kind of effect on me I suppose ," he mumbled, his eyes never leaving yours. His voice was thick with desire, and you could hear the slight tremble in his words.

Your heart skipped a beat at his response. He was right - you did have this kind of effect on him. You had an inexplicable power over him, and he over you. It was a dangerous game, but the pull between you was too strong to resist.

You undid the button of his jeans, and slowly, teasingly, pulled down the zipper.

Cillian's breath hitched as you slipped your hand inside his boxers, wrapping your fingers around his shaft. He was rock hard, his length impressive and intimidating all at once.

"You like that?" you murmured, stroking him slowly, watching as a shudder ran through his body at your touch.

"Miss, uhm...fuck," he gasped, his voice hoarse with desire as he closed his eyes and surrendered to the sensation of your touch.

You watched him, your own desire building as you stroked him, feeling him grow harder and hotter in your hand. You could feel his pulse throbbing in your fingertips, his breath coming in ragged gasps as you brought him closer and closer to the edge.

"Please Miss Y/LN, you need to stop," he begged, his voice strained. "I don't want to cum yet."

You pulled your hand away reluctantly, a wicked smile playing on your lips before you reached behind your back and unzipped your dress, slowly letting it slide off your shoulders and onto the floor.

"Holy shit," Cillian breathed, his eyes roving over your lingerie-clad body. "You are so hot."

You smiled at his admiration, feeling a thrill run through you at his words. You loved being desired by him, and you reveled in the way he looked at you.

"Come here," you said, crooking your finger at him and beckoning him closer and, like a shy boy, he obliged, moving towards you with hunger in his eyes before kissing you again.

Reaching for his hand, you eventually guided him to your plush couch, urging him to sit down. Your heart rate was almost pounding out of your chest, but you reveled in the desire that coursed through your veins.

Cillian sat on the edge of the couch, his eyes never leaving yours, and before he could even blink, you removed your bra , revealing your perfect breasts for his gaze to admire. His gaze was locked, nearly fixated on them, and you could see the desire burning behind his eyes.

Slowly, you then walked towards him before, finally, taking off your panties as well.

"Is this what you want, Cillian?" you asked, your voice thick with longing and anticipation.

Your eyes locked onto Cillian's, and you could see the raging desire in his deep blue eyes. You could tell he was struggling to contain himself, and you reveled in the thought of being the one to unleash his primal urges.

"God, yes," Cillian breathed, his voice raw with yearning and you wasted no time and pushed down his briefs , allowing his erection to spring free. It was impressive, to say the least, and your mouth watered at the thought of wrapping your lips around it.

"You are beautiful," Cillian breathed as you dropped to your knees in front of him, your hands roaming over his thighs. You could feel his muscles tense and quiver beneath your touch, and you smiled and knew you had him right where you wanted him.

You leaned forward, your lips brushing against the tip of his erection, causing Cillian to gasp and groan.

"Do you think you can cum twice for me?" you asked, locking eyes with Cillian as you slowly stroked his cock, your lips mere inches away from his tip.

"Fuck, Miss, I-I don't know," Cillian stammered, his hips bucking involuntarily into your grip, his breath coming in short, desperate gasps.

"Well, we will just have to find out then, won't we?" you smirked before taking him deep into your mouth, swallowing him to the root and reveling in the feeling of him hitting the back of your throat.

Cillian let out a string of curse words as you began to suck and stroke him in earnest, your other hand reaching up to play with his balls. He tangled his fingers in your hair, pulling gently as you worked his cock, grinding your teeth against his girth as you swallowed him hungrily.

"F-f-fuck," Cillian gasped, his voice shaking with pleasure. "I'm gonna fucking cum if you keep doing this!"

You pulled off of him with a satisfying pop, looking up at him through your thick lashes.

"That's a good boy," you murmured, smirking at the shocked look on his face before taking him back into your mouth.

Cillian's moans and curse words filled the room, his hips thrusting upwards as you sucked him with abandon. It wasn't long before you could feel him tensing up, and you knew he was close.

"I'm gonna cum, Miss!" Cillian exclaimed, groaning loudly as he shot his load into your mouth, filling you with his warm seed. You swallowed eagerly, savoring the taste of his release.

But you weren't finished with him yet . You looked up at Cillian, your mouth still wrapped around his cock.

His eyes were closed, his head thrown back in pleasure as you continued to work your mouth over him.

Slowly, you began to move again, sucking him deeper and harder with each stroke until he hardened again completely in your mouth.

"Ah, I can't believe how good this feels," Cillian gasped as you worked your magic, coaxing his cock back to a steel-like stiffness between your lips.

He opened his eyes and looked down at you, the heat in his gaze scorching as, finally, you released him from your mouth and stood up.

"Sit back against the couch," you instructed Cillian, your voice soft and sultry but at the same time, unyielding, demanding.

You needed this. Needed to take control. Needed to feel what it was like to possess him.

He obeyed, lying back against the couch, his cock straining towards the ceiling.

Slowly, deliberately, you climbed onto him, placing one knee on either side of his hips. You were straddling him now, your pussy hovering tantalizingly close to his cock.

You could feel the heat emanating from your wetness, and you knew that he could see it too.

"You're so fucking beautiful," Cillian breathed, his hands reaching up to cup your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your nipples.

You arched your back, gasping as his touch sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

"And you're so fucking perfect," you replied, your voice low and sultry as you reached down to guide his cock towards your entrance. "God, I need this. Need to feel you inside me," you moaned, slowly lowering yourself onto him, inch by inch.

Cillian gasped as you took him inside of you, his cock stretching you wide, filling you up in a way that made your toes curl. You began to rock your hips back and forth, grinding yourself against him, your clit rubbing against his pelvis with every movement.

"You are so wet for me. So fucking tight," Cillian groaned, his fingers digging into your hips as he began to thrust up into you.

"Are you going to be a good boy for me and cum deep inside me?" you demanded, your voice low and sultry.

"Yes, Miss, I-I'll do anything you want," Cillian stuttered, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he struggled to thrust harder and faster into you.

But you weren't satisfied yet. You wanted to feel him even deeper inside of you, so you leaned back, placing your hands on Cillian's thighs for support.

"Ah, fuck yes," Cillian moaned as you began to ride him harder, the angle allowing him to hit even deeper inside of you.

"I am so close ," you panted, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps as you drew closer and closer to your climax.

Cillian groaned, his fingers digging into your hips as he thrust up into you.

The feeling of him inside of you, the sound of our bodies slapping together, the smell of our sweat mixing together - it was all so overwhelming, so intoxicating.

"I'm gonna cum," you exclaimed, your voice rising in pitch as your orgasm washed over you.

Your nails dug into Cillian's thighs, leaving crescent-shaped marks on his skin as you rode out the waves of pleasure that coursed through your body.

Cillian let out a loud groan as he felt you clench around him, his cock twitching as he emptied himself deep inside you. His warm seed spilled forth, filling you up completely before leaking out slowly, trailing down your inner thigh.

You collapsed onto him, your chest heaving as you struggled to catch your breath.

Cillian wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as his own panting subsided. You both lay there, spent and exhausted, your bodies intertwined in a tangle of post-orgasmic bliss.

But as the haze of passion cleared, reality came crashing back down.

You had just fucked one of your students. There, you said it. It was wrong, and you knew it - but you couldn't deny the wave of satisfaction and contentment that washed over you. It had been so long since you had felt anything other than isolation and loneliness.

But as the adrenaline wore off, guilt and panic began to set in. You quickly pulled away from Cillian, your movements hurried and frantic as you scrambled to collect your clothes from the floor.

"What's wrong?" Cillian asked, concern etched on his face.

You couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze as you pulled your dress back on, the material sticking to your sweat-slicked skin.

"Did I do something wrong?" he then asked quickly , his face falling as he pulled on his boxers and jeans, trying to cover himself as if he were naked and vulnerable.

"No," you stammered, shaking your head as you pulled your panties back on beneath your dress. It was true, he hadn't done anything wrong, but you couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that had settled in your stomach like a lead weight.

"Then why are you freaking out?" Cillian asked, searching your face for an answer. "You know I won't tell anyone about this," he added, his voice soft and sincere.

You met his gaze, grateful for his understanding and compassion. "I know," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "It's just, I fucked up Cillian. I should have acted responsibly," you reluctantly confessed.

The mood had shifted dramatically, and the heavy weight of guilt and shame hung in the air between you.

Cillian looked hurt for a moment before masking it with a nonchalant shrug. "Hey, it's fine. I wanted it probably more than you did. I made the first move," he assured you but you knew that it wasn't that simple. You were his professor, and you were meant to protect him and guide him academically - not to take advantage of his youth and vulnerability.

"Cillian, I think it's best if you leave," you said, your voice trembling as you forced yourself to meet his gaze.

Cillian's face fell, and you could see the hurt and confusion in his eyes. He nodded slowly, his movements stiff and jerky as he grabbed his t-shirt.

"I'll see you tomorrow in class," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

But you knew that things would never be the same between you. You had crossed a line, and there was no turning back.

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fics-n-stuff-n-stuff · 7 months

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Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser Levy McGarden/Gajeel Redfox

all fairy tail characters basically

CharacterAlternate Universe -

Modern with Magic

Fluff and Angst / Romance / Friendship / developing feelings / Lucy has new spirits I checked constellations and gave her ones I thought were cool

Summary

Lucy is thrown into a world she didn’t know existed. Join her as she unravels this new world full of magic that brings adventure, romance and destruction along with it.

———

Just a modern re-telling of Fairy tail following its arcs with a few twists and turns along the way💞

You can also read it here

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Chapter 14

Natsu was not used to being this stressed out about another person's well-being.

Well, that is if you don't count Happy.

But the exceed was like a brother/son to him, and he's raised the fur-ball since he'd hatched, so it was natural to worry about the little guy.

It seems the whole ordeal with Phantom Lord left Natsu a little on edge when it came to Lucy. It was so easy for them to take her during the attack, and by the time he found her, she was so battered and bruised.

Natsu never wanted to witness that again.

Ever since Lucy's first disappearance when she was taken by Juvia, he's had an irrational fear of going to her apartment and not finding her there.

Add on everything that they've found out about her family, and that her father was the one behind the attacks, and it all left Natsu feeling a little paranoid.

But could you blame him?

His partner seems to have a unique ability to attract trouble, which in retrospect shouldn't be a surprise for him, given with how they met, and with how well-suited she was for Fairy Tail, fitting in nicely with all the chaos.

Everyone here is a trouble magnet.

But even with all that aside, ever since he found out about it, there was a part of Natsu that feared Lucy's father coming after her, and him not being able to save her.

So when he walked into her empty apartment a few days ago, he knew something was wrong.

Natsu came over to see if she wanted to have breakfast with him and Happy, even though it was past noon by that point.

Looking around, he could tell that nothing in the apartment was out of place, and there was no sign of a struggle, she could've been at the guild for all he knew.

But his gut was telling him something different.

That's when he found the note on her coffee table. It was addressed to him, with an explanation for her absence and asking them to give her two days before coming after her.

Feeling a sense of panic overrun him, Natsu immediately took out his phone and tried calling her, hoping this was some sort of prank.

'She wouldn't actually go alone, would she?' He asked himself as he waited for her to pick up.

He heard the sound of her ringtone coming from her room, and as he followed the ringing, he saw Lucy's phone on the nightstand next to her bed.

Natsu hung up the call with a frustrated huff, flashes of different scenarios went through his head at the thought of Lucy in the clutches of her father.

The man hired Jose Porla to come after her, who knows what he's prepared to do now that she went to him willingly.

Considering Natsu was by no means a sensible creature, this just seemed to rattle him into overdrive.

Thinking back to it now, he doesn't regret marching to Fairy Tail and lying about her being kidnapped.

In fact, Natsu was 100% sure he would do it again.

He needed to know she was safe, and since she didn't bring her phone with her, this was his second-best option.

Sitting back, Natsu downed his Fire whiskey and looked down at his hand, where the ring she'd gotten him was sitting on his middle finger.

The dragon's ruby eyes seemed to twinkle back at him like it was going to start spewing fire at any moment.

Her present was a surprise to him.

Lucy hadn't even known about his affinity for gold or the hoard he had hidden away when she bought it for him. She had just seen a golden dragon and thought of him.

The fact that it was a fireproof ring just made it better.

He rarely wore jewelry because it usually ended up melted by his fire, thankfully he doesn't have to worry about this one.

He debated on whether he should wear it in fear of losing it, or just put it in his hoard for safekeeping.

In the end, he couldn't bring himself to bury the piece with his other treasures, Natsu wanted to proudly wear the gift his partner had picked out for him.

And he liked the fact that they were matching in a way.

He turned back to watch the crowd, or rather, to try and find Lucy amongst the sea of mages.

Spotting her golden hair in the crowd, he followed her with his eyes as she went around the guild, watching her with a smile on his face as she went from table to table talking, drinking, and laughing with everyone.

He watched as Levy pulled her up so they could dance to the song that was playing, the two girls spinning and laughing as they moved to the beat.

The New Year's party was in full swing, and while not everyone was wasted, there were a few of Cana's victims passed out under the tables.

'Poor souls, they never learn.' Natsu thought with a laugh as he spotted Makao sleeping cuddled next to an empty wine barrel.

Even he knew better than to challenge the card mage to a drinking competition.

There were no winners in that one.

Well, besides Cana.

Standing, Natsu made his way to the bar wanting another drink, and from the corner of his eye, he spotted Wendy approaching him through the crowd.

The sky drakon had been in an almost sullen mood for a few days and Natsu waited for her to come to talk to him if she needed to.

Sitting down at the bar, he ordered another drink from Mira and waited for Wendy to approach him.

The younger girl sat next to him after a few minutes and ordered a drink for herself. He waited for her to start the conversation, not wanting to push the young healer.

"Can I ask you a question?" Her voice was tentative as she spoke, and he nodded his head in response and turned to look at her. "I, I know you found a golden key in, well, you know." She said quietly, looking around and making sure no one was eavesdropping.

"I, well, I mean."

Her voice was small as she spoke, and she looked like she was in distress and Natsu turned to face her fully, so he could try and calm her down.

"I remember the first time Igneel took me to see his collection, I was blown away by the amount of trinkets and treasure." There was a nostalgic smile on his face as he turned to look at the wall and reminisced about the past. "He could barely get me to leave that first time."

Natsu chuckled at the memory of Igneel dragging him away from the cave, promising they would come back.

"Grandeeney would always let me pick something to take back with me when we visited hers." Wendy chimed in, her voice slightly shaky as she talked about her mother.

Natsu turned to look at the bluenette, and seeing the tears in her eyes he moved to place a hand on her shoulder. "Is that what's been bothering ya lately?" He asked her with a squeeze.

Wendy moved to wipe the tears that seemed to have escaped and shook her head. "No, it's just, at the Christmas Party, I saw you give Lucy a key from your hoard. And there was a nagging feeling that told me I had one too, but you know I don't collect gold."

Natsu nodded, intrigued to where this was going, and urged her to continue with his hands. "I went to look through it a few days ago, and well." She turned out her left pocket and in her palm was a golden zodiac key.

"I think it belongs to the constellation Capricorn." Wendy whispered before shoving the object back into her pocket. "I've had this with me for 4 days now. I just can't get myself to give it to Lucy."

The tears were welling in her eyes, and Wendy let her head fall to avoid his gaze, as if ashamed. "I know it's wrong, they belong with her. But it's a piece of Grandeeney's hoard, and it's hard saying goodbye to any part of it."

The young girl was crying at this point, and Natsu couldn't help but feel for her. He was not unfamiliar with those emotions, he felt the same way when he first connected the dots.

It was the combination of getting to know and trust Lucy better, and having Scutum say she was considered royalty in the Spirit Realm for him to finally understand the importance behind it, and find the key.

But something was also weird about all this.

There weren't a lot of records about Lucy and her magic. She's been trying to research with Levy for months with little luck, they've only managed to find scraps of information to put together.

Now it turns out both Igneel and Grandeeney had golden spirit keys in their possession, keys that once belonged to Lucy's mother.

Did she know both dragons? Did the spirits know something of their disappearance?

Shaking himself out of his thoughts Natsu moved slowly, so as not to startle the crying girl, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders and brought her into a gentle hug.

"It was hard for me too. I figured out I had a key months ago. I debated on what I should do with it for a long time."

He let out an almost bitter huff of air before continuing. "I understand what you're going through, and I'm not gonna tell you to give it to her." He pauses for a moment, making sure she got his point. "But we both know it's what they would have wanted."

Natsu's tone was as gentle as he could make it, but it still made Wendy cry even harder, clutching his shirt as she did.

It was hard for him to watch her like this, Natsu generally didn't like anyone crying around him, he just felt awkward. But he viewed Wendy as a sort of younger sister and wanted to try his best to comfort her.

"It's why they made sure we have them."

He tried a different approach this time. "I don't know how, but they knew we would meet Lucy one day, and they knew we would do the right thing." He pushed on her shoulders gently so that she would move back to look at him.

Natsu sent her a beaming smile, knowing the young healer would understand.

"Plus, it's not like you're giving it away to a stranger. It's Lucy, she always has her keys with her. This way, you get to see a little reminder of Grandeeney every day and know she would be proud of you for giving it to its owner!"

He shared his reasoning with her and the younger girl finally cracked a genuine smile back, her tears stopped, and her breathing was evening out.

"You're right. I know it's hard for you to talk about them. So, thank you Natsu." Wendy said as she wiped her cheeks dry.

Natsu just smiled back at her and moved to ruffle her hair. "Anytime kiddo, you know I'm always here for you."

* ********* ********** ********** ********* *

Coming back from Crocus was quick, thanks to the portal, and upon arrival, Lucy found herself at the receiving end of a long lecture from Master Makarov about the importance of knowing when to do things alone, and when to ask for help.

Followed by a few more lectures by Mira, Levy, and Lisanna about never scaring them like that again, the girls making Lucy promise to always bring her phone with her.

Even Cana had a few choice words about Lucy's little scare.

Lucy apologized profusely to everyone, promising not to scare them like that again, and then went on to tell the guild all about how her trip back home went.

Natsu and Gray found it hilarious that she managed to scare her father into agreeing to her terms, and Erza seemed proud of her bravery.

Everyone else was stunned to learn about her family and supposed status, but Lucy told them that was her past, and no longer applies.

She was just, Lucy of Fairy Tail now.

After retelling the events from her visit and answering all of the questions they had, Lucy finally had the chance to open the box Spetto had given her.

Inside she found two golden keys and a letter from her mother.

Lucy immediately tucked the envelope in her purse, not feeling ready to read her mother's words yet.

Something told her it would only lead to more questions and headaches, instead of any kind of answer.

Taurus and Sagittarius were her newest companions, and while the former was a bit of a pervert, and the latter looked even more ridiculous in his horse costume than she remembered, Lucy was extremely happy to have more of her mother's friends back with her.

Her collection was growing faster than she had expected.

When she first learned about magic and how rare her abilities seemed to be in this world, she thought that it would be impossible to find any gate keys.

But somehow they all end up finding her instead.

The whole guild surrounded Lucy when they noticed her preparing to summon her new spirits, always eager to see her use her magic.

She summoned them one at a time.

Lucy she still couldn't open two golden keys at once no matter how hard she trained.

It always ended up with her unconscious.

She was able to keep Scutum's gate open along with one golden key, which was an improvement!

Everyone watched in awe as she sent Taurus back in a flash of golden light, and summoned Sagittarius so they could form a contract.

They all seemed so fascinated by her abilities, and while she still couldn't understand how it was any more impressive than anything else they could do, she didn't mind the audience.

It was kind of sweet that they were so enthralled by it.

* ********* ********** ********** ********* *

Lucy was still getting used to the partying tempo of Fairy Tail, but she was having fun nonetheless.

They had been drinking for more than half the day but the night was still young, and Lucy found herself dancing with Levy in the middle of the guild hall, surrounded by fellow guild mates as they all celebrated the coming of the new year.

Natsu had been in a good mood all day, and even bought her and Happy breakfast before they headed to the guild for the party.

Thought, he has been a tad overbearing and overprotective since her little adventure in Crocus.

He was at her apartment first thing in the morning, always by her side when they were together, following her with his gaze when they were on opposite ends of the room.

And while, admittedly, it was how he usually acted around her, there is more of an intensity to it now.

Lucy could sense the tension and worry that would sometimes project from him, and she felt guilty every time.

She knew he was rattled by the Phantom attack, and with his father's disappearance, she never considered how leaving like that would affect him.

Even with her note, he was worried about what her father was going to do to her.

And while Lucy would like to think he was just overreacting, she also knew what her father was capable of.

"Hey, let's go get a drink?" Levy's voice brought her out of her head, and she realized she stopped dancing and was just standing in the middle of the floor.

Lucy looked around the dancing bodies surrounding them and turned to nod at Levy. "Sure."

The two made their way to the bar and tried to order their drinks from Mira, who seemed busy chatting with a blonde Lucy had never met before today.

Apparently, he was the master's grandson.

Laxus Dreyar.

He was a tall, brooding and muscular man with a lightning scar over his right eye.

Lucy didn't get to talk to him all that much, besides a basic introduction. He seemed nice enough, a little rough around the edges maybe. There was actually something about the man that reminded her of Gajeel the tiniest bit.

His team, the Thunder Legion, returned from a year-long mission just this morning, and everyone was excited to have them back, it seemed like the New Year's party was going to be even wilder than planned because of their return.

Lucy met all of the Thunder Legion, and they seemed like an interesting bunch, it made her wonder how such different people formed a team.

They all appear to be fond of each other though.

Evergreen was a tad snobbish, but it reminded Lucy of home in a weird way, Freed was a complete gentleman and Lucy was looking forward to getting to him, and Bickslow was a little odd, but he looked like a fun guy.

They were some of the strongest mages in the guild, from what she managed to overhear, and that made her a little scared as to what kind of monsters were out there.

If there were stronger mages here in Fairy Tail than the ones she's already met? Lucy doesn't want to meet any of the ones roaming outside of the guild.

"So, what's got you all in your head?" Levy asked her as they waited for Lisanna to bring them their drinks.

"Is that why Mira laughed when I gave her my present?" Lucy asked pointing over her shoulder, trying to avoid the topic.

Levy raised a brow at her, looking over Lucy's shoulder at where the take-over mage was flirting with the blonde, before turning back to look at Lucy.

"Don't think I don't see what you're doing." The short bluenette warned her, sternly pointing her index finger at Lucy. "But to answer your question, yes, but not for the reason you think." She told her with a wink, and now Lucy was even more confused.

"What does that mean?" Lucy almost whined as she went to take a sip from her cocktail. "Uh, uh. No. I answered your question, now you tell me what's going on."

Lucy huffed out, crossing her arms as she did, and slumped slightly forward. "It's nothing serious. Just, Natsu's been a little..." she trailed off, not really knowing how to describe the fire drakon's recent actions.

He acted the same as always towards her, it was just more intense, and sometimes even with a sense of panic.

"Possessive? Overprotective? Downright scary at times?" Levy finished her sentence, checking off each one on her fingers as she did.

Lucy felt a blush forming on her cheeks, looking around to check if anyone was listening in.

Thankfully, everyone in Fairy Tail was busy celebrating to notice the two of them in the corner of the bar.

"Yes. Well, I don't think he's ever scary, but yes to the rest of it." Lucy admitted and Levy only chuckled at her words.

"You don't think he's scary because you haven't seen him when he knows you are in danger." The bluenette told her and Lucy felt her heart jump at the words. "And besides, I don't see how it's any different than usual."

Lucy slumped on the bar and looked back at Levy. "It's different! He's more intense about it. I don't know how to explain." She ran a hand through her hair, trying not to get frustrated.

"You know for how simple he is, he is also a mystery to all of us." Levy said with mirth in her voice, and Lucy sat up straight and leaned in closer to her.

Natsu was a mystery to her too.

Which was a funny concept, considering he's an open book, you can almost always tell what's on his mind. But there was also so much Lucy didn't know about him, and she was interested in Levy's perspective.

"I've known him for a long time, we all have." Levy started, looking around the guild before turning back to her. "Do you know he's never once been out on a job with anyone besides Happy? And I have never seen him interact with the guild as much as he has since he came back that night with you in tow."

Lucy felt a blush at her words and didn't really know what to say, but it seemed Levy wasn't finished anyway.

"In fact, this is the longest I can remember him being in Magnolia since he's been able to go out on jobs." There was a faraway look in the bluenette's eyes for a moment before she continued.

"He's been chasing shadows and whispers since joining Fairy Tail. Running around Fiore and looking for any clues about Igneel and his whereabouts."

She let out a breathy chuckle before continuing. "The gods know how many times The Master or Erza tried to talk to him and explain that sometimes you need to slow down. But you know Natsu, once he's determined about something, he goes head first and without thinking it through."

Levy sent her a pointed look and Lucy chimed in with a giggle of her own, "Don't I know it." She said, thinking about her partner's impulsive tendencies.

"It wasn't until he met you that he finally slowed down." Lucy's heart clenched at Levy's words, she never knew any of this.

"I have never seen him spend so much time with the guild before, usually he would come in to eat, or brawl and get a drink occasionally. But he was mostly just taking jobs back to back, to think he's on a team now, and with Gray and Erza of all people." The bluenette shook her head as if she still couldn't believe it.

"If someone had told me, a day before you came to the guild that those three would be on a team together. That Natsu would be on a team with anyone that isn't Happy, I would have told them they were crazy and laughed in their face." Levy laughed at the thought and Lucy knew her face was a dark shade of red by now.

"Hey, I had nothing to do with their team-up! Erza got word of trouble and asked them to help her, and me too for some reason." She tried to protest her way out of the conversation.

"Okay, maybe so, but I still stand by my statement. He did ask you to go on a job with him! And he took you to the beach so you could summon Aquarius." Levy pointed an accusative finger at her, before giggling and clapping her hands in the air.

"Oh, that was your first date!" She exclaimed happily and Lucy went to shush her, looking around to make sure no one was listening.

You never know with this gossipy bunch.

"Not so loud! Geez!" Lucy moved so she could put a hand over Levy's mouth.

"And it was not a date! He came with me to get my stuff and then took me to the beach so I could make a contract with Aquarius. There was nothing romantic about it!" She explained to the bluenette, dropping the hand that was covering the shorter girl's mouth.

"But you had dinner afterwards?" Lucy felt the blush come back full force at Levy's question and she immediately regretted dropping her hand.

So she tried to change the subject instead.

"I just feel like I've betrayed his trust in some way, and I don't know what to do Lev." She pouted at the bluenette, hoping the shorter girl would take pity on her.

Lucy watched as Levy's brow furrowed at her words before she let out a sigh. "I don't know how to help you there Lu. But maybe you guys can go on a job and that way you could ask him about it." The bluenette offered as she went to clasp their hands, giving Lucy's a squeeze.

Lucy looked at her friend for a few moments, before turning to look at the crowd and tried to spot Natsu.

She saw a flash of pink in the crowd and there he was, sitting at a table across the room, drinking and laughing with Elfman, Evergreen, Bickskow, and a few other guild members.

Natsu's head snapped in her direction a second later, and when they made eye contact he sent a beaming smile her way, tipping his whisky glass towards her.

Lucy smiled back at him and raised her cocktail glass back at him. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." She said as she turned to look back at Levy, who had an almost cheshire smirk on her face.

"Mhmm, I bet it does." The bluenette chuckled before downing her drink. "I'm gonna go and try to get Laki to dance with me, wanna come?" She asked as she hopped out of the barstool.

Lucy looked out at the dance floor and back to Levy. "No, I'm good here. You go have fun."

She watched the shorter girl move through the crowd before disappearing into the sea of people and sighed, slumping slightly over the bar.

Lucy couldn't help but go over the conversation with Levy in her head.

Did Natsu really change that much with just her appearance?

But that doesn't make sense, she didn't do anything to prompt such a shift, she didn't know any other version of Natsu than the one he's been since that first night.

'Maybe I should think about this when I'm not so close to being drunk.' Lucy thought to herself as she took a sip from her drink.

Suddenly, there was a weight over her shoulders, and a familiar warmth enveloped her.

"Whatcha doing here all by yourself? This is a party!" Natsu's voice came from her right, and she turned her head to smile at him.

"You know, I just realized that I never know how cold I am until you're next to me." Lucy blurted out instead of an answer.

Natsu shot her an odd look, before moving to connect their foreheads, he was so close that their noses were almost touching.

"How much did ya have to drink?" His sudden question made Lucy giggle, finding his attempt at being stern hilarious.

She moved to clutch her stomach and suddenly felt her stool shift from underneath her and before she knew it Lucy was falling to the ground.

Thankfully, Natsu's instincts were sharp as ever, he was moving before she even slipped, and helped her back on the stool. "Easy, you're gonna get hurt."

"I'm not drunk!" Lucy protested, and Natsu raised a single brow at her, crossing his arms as he did. "Okay, maybe a little tipsy, but not drunk." She tried to rephrase.

"Yeah, yeah. You're such a lightweight." He laughed at her as he moved from the barstool and stood in front of her.

"I am not a lightweight!" She exclaimed at him, which only made him laugh harder.

"Sure you're not. Now come on, let's go see if Happy had any luck with Charla tonight." He offered his hand out and Lucy took it without hesitation.

"Like that will ever happen, he needs to give her something other than fish!"

Natsu laughed at her proclamation and tugged her through the crowd. "So you keep trying to tell him. Who knows, maybe it'll be a New Year's Miracle!"

They laughed at the thought as they tried finding their furry friend and his lady love.

The guild members were scattered throughout the second floor, drinking, laughing, and dancing. Some of the guys were fighting in the corner.

Lucy could see Levy and Laki dancing to the music, Jet and Droy keeping them company. Cana managed to rope Freed into a drinking competition, and the poor man seemed to be almost gone, she could see him swaying in his seat as they passed.

Erza was at a table with Gray, Juvia, and Lisanna. And they all looked drunk in their own right, with the red-headed seemingly changing armors as her moods shifted and threatening everyone in her sight.

Natsu quickly steered them clear of her as he saw that.

Juvia was almost melting by the proximity between her and Gray, and the ice mage looked a bit uncomfortable with her affection but Lucy could also spot a shadow of a blush on his face as the bluenette rested her head on his shoulder.

All in all, the spirits in Fairy Tail were high.

Everyone was happy to be alive and eager to welcome the New Year, hoping it would bring them joy and happiness.

No one seemed to notice a flyer appearing out of thin air on the job board, they were all too enthralled with the celebration.

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cordycepsfem · 9 months

Text

Pageboy Readthrough, Part Seven

Previously

the entire thing was awful from start to finish

we learned nothing about Canada

but that's not why it was awful

it was awful because EP details several instances of sexual assault, homophobia, and rape

she says briefly that she felt like a weight was lifted when she came out

but it didn't last very long

your reviewer stopped because Chapter Nine opened with sex and she just couldn't take it

Now

Chapter Nine

as previously stated this chapter dumps us immediately into sex

and your reviewer immediately has some questions

okay, so, first - both "my dick" and "my pussy" = got it, sure, whatever

"queerer than ever" when just performing lesbianism = sure, whatever you need to call it, EP

"magnets sucking"?? is this meant to be sexy? has EP ever stuck two magnets together? did they make a sucking sound to her? does she think "magnetism" and "magnets" are correlated? what the fuck is this meant to express?

in conclusion:

and also, I know I said would take up a sword and go off to fight whoever EP told me to, based on her backstory, but now I think she owes me like $50 (CAD is fine) for having to read that and parse it with my own eyes and my own brain

remember, throw "cis white gay" in front of anything and it's cool to denigrate whatever comes after

EP, who do you think built the bars? Why do you think they're all gay bars? Maybe it's because of the gay community there... c'mon, I wanna give you the benefit of the doubt, but... you have to work for it

I am now running a tab a la "Cinema Sins":

also, nobody likes a bragger, EP. I like to write, then eat, then sleep too, but you don't see me bragging about it. It's just... Thursday.

also I'm dying to know who this "Madisyn" individual is because I am dying to know what she was writing at the same time EP was banging (no pun intended) this out. I'm crossing my fingers for fanfic because I would be roundly disappointed with something like "tracking genetic diseases in Victorian England"

EP continues to make friends and influence people:

yes that was a bad joke for me to make on a post about the f-slur and yes I do feel bad for her for this entire scenario but I feel I am owed some levity considering that I just had to consider EP "getting hard" on sweatpants

FSlur Man chases EP to a convenience store

it forces EP to remember a similar time she was homophobically attacked

okay, so, let's talk about this

I want to believe EP 100% on all of this because a) I know how shit the world is and b) I exist as a lesbian in it

but "This is why I need a gun"? are we sure? this smacks of "look at my attacker's right wing politics" to me and I feel so badly that it does but I am, as previously stated, a very specific type of asshole (one who is incredibly jaded, apparently)

I have never been to West Hollywood and I have no idea what kind of mentally ill people live there, so obviously my own sense of "is this true or not?" is fallible

either way, gay-bashing and threatening gay and lesbian individuals is wrong and I feel like that should be stated in case someone reads this and thinks I'm doubting her or I'm somehow on the side of the attacker(?). yes, I know how weird that sounds, but the internet's a weird place.

your reviewer is sighing because I just don't know what to say about this anymore

being attacked is awful and wrong and should not happen

why are these things not reported to the police? why did these men's faces not end up on Twitter, with cries to find them and get them fired, as is asked of so many of us when we see racists or similar bad actors in the wild?

yeah yeah, I know, believe women and don't question why they did what they did, but I know in my heart that if something like this happened to me I would be filming. I would call the police.

also the third season of Umbrella Academy sucked and I'm putting that half on the shoulders spoilers of EP for wanting Vanya to transition (which was fucking unnecessary because trans actors go on and on about not always needing to play trans characters and offensive because we finally had a lesbian on a show! who wasn't killed!) and half on the shoulders of the show who not only bought into her transitioning her character with absolutely no evidence leading up to it ever, which is shit writing, but also because all they did was run around and yell each other's names and then kill off a bunch of characters we didn't even know for just... funsies, I guess

anyway it was shit and the fourth season better have some big balls to fix all of it or I am going to roundly and aggressively review it

ah, hell, I'm going to do that anyway

where were we?

ah, yes, the "we live in a society" portion of the evening

I want to say a lot of things here but all of them are bitchy and I'm trying to let that not be me

I feel as though many people do not see trans men as "real" men because they are not male, and the correlation is not between "anger" and "masculinity," it is between "anger" and males

it is not females who commit the vast majority of violent crimes and express anger so openly in our society with such ease, it's males

it has nothing to do with whether or not those men are masculine or feminine

or whether or not those men identify as men or not

there are plenty of trans women who are violent as fuck

and in fact many of them seem to be making it "their thing"

so long story short:

Get fucking angry, EP. Be angry about what's happened to you, because a lot has happened to you to be angry about. Fight the fuck back in whatever way feels best for you to do so.

As someone who also has a lot to be angry about from childhood, my teenage years, and then in my twenties, as I dealt first with bullies and mean girls and aggressive boys and just absolute assholes, as well as the Catholic Church, but then moved onto being treated poorly by the medical establishment as I tried to navigate being chronically ill in a world not built for it at a time that I was not prepared to fight for my life... I have found ways to let the anger out. It still sits in my chest and it builds and it squashes into a tiny origami box behind my sternum.

I let it out when I refuse to let anyone define me.

I let it out when I go to therapy.

I let it out when I decide what I like, what I want to do, where I want to be, who I want to be.

I let it out when I make decisions about what my life will look like in the future.

I let it out when I am joyful. The people who tried to break me and ruin me didn't, and I am still alive to be incredibly happy.

I let it out when I am around other women. When I am around my sisters. We are still here.

Find your sword, EP. You've got a bunch of us behind you.

(Also you owe me approximately $64.80 CAD for this chapter. I take Venmo.)

#ellie's ep posting #pageboy readthrough #terfblr #terfs do touch #radical feminism #radblr #f slur tw #f slur

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doktordismemberment · 1 year

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Roundup #3: Albums of the Year Edition

I dunno, I guess what I'm doing here is officially a "real zine" enough to justify doing a year end list... So here ya go.

These are in no order, and this list is guaranteed to be at once utterly sprawling and yet somehow still woefully incomplete.

No cool points here, just one man's deeply flawed taste in music. Don't like something? Blow me.

Worm - Bluenothing - Synth Assisted blackdeath gloom from the blighted swamps of Florida. Hits my ears like a cross between Disembowelment and Morgion, two of my favorite bands ever, shot through with David Gilmour-esqe leads.

High Command - Eclipse of the Dual Moons - Easily the best crossover/ thrash album I've heard in the past 25 years.

Hath - All That Was Promised - I've been struggling to think of descriptors for Hath for like half an hour but I think when you get right down to it they really remind me of Zhrine and I really want there to be more Zhrine.

Dissonant Immolation/ Incantation style DM heft meets moments of icy blackened blasting and a searing, spiraling, sense of melody.

Black Magnet - Body Prophecy - Highly entertaining mid 90's style industrial rock. The type of album that Nine Inch Nails should still be making.

Tzompantli - Tlazcaltiliztli - If you took Mortician or Bolt Thrower riffs and played them like Paradise Lost or Anathema it would probably sound something like Tzompantli.

The Offering - Seeing the Elephant - If I'm being 100% honest think I slightly prefer their previous album (especially the vocal performance), but "Seeing the Elephant" is still fucking a fucking killer slab of ultra-streamlined modern metal.

Stormruler - Sacred Rites & Black Magic - This new Stormruler album caught me in a super receptive mood the other day so their ultra-catchy blend of Dissection riffs and frantic Immortal style blasting sneaks in under the wire to and onto my year end list.

Vorga - Striving Toward Oblivion - I'm both a metalhead and an irredeemable sci-fi nerd so Vorga's music totally appeals to me. Reminds me of Darkspace if they were slightly more "present" in the material plane.

Veilburner - VLBRNR - Wingnutty EFX-overloaded space death metal cut from a similarly antimatter stained cloth as Gorguts/ Mithras/ Gigan. I fucking loved their previous album and this new one is just as good, possibly even better.

Goatwhore - Angels Hung From the Arches of Heaven - I've been a big Goatwhore fan since their first album came out back in 2000... Still have all their albums. Always enjoy seeing them live. And while this new one doesn't break a whole lot of new ground it is new material from a band I consistently enjoy so it gets two thumbs up as far as I'm concerned.

Sometimes you wanna be challenged, sometimes you just want the musical equivalent of pizza and beer.

Chat Pile - God's Country - I've heard this album sneeringly derided as sounding like "Nu-Metal" but that's fucking stupid... It sounds like fuckin' Streetcleaner with David Yow on vocals.

Kardashev - Liminal Rite - I'm probably the only person on earth who thinks this, but musically Kardashev sort of remind me of Early Katatonia (Brave Murder Day) crossed with later Katatonia (Viva Emptiness).

Messa - Close - Female fronted doom from Italy. This one seems to situate itself somewhere between Mazzy Star, Sinitstro, and a Doomed out Oceans of Slumber.... Meaning it tugs at the heartstrings even as it bludgeons you with a cinderblock.

Aeviterne - The Ailing Facade - Dissonant black/ death and grimy ambient noise reconfigured into the sound of complete and utter terror.

White Ward - False Light - When I heard "depressing black metal meets jazz" I kinda wanted this to sound like Sun-Ra crossed with Bethlehem which unfortunately it does not...Instead what it sounds like is a blackened Cult of Luna with saxophone parts and I am super onboard for that.

I hope these guys are all still alive (Ukraine, war, etc.) because I would very much like another album of this stuff.

Altar - Ascetic Reflection - The perfect combination of crushing death metal dissonance and eerie melody.

Ashenspire - Hostile Architecture - Terrifyingly bleak avant metal from Scotland. Killer lyrics.

GGGOLDDD - The Shame Should Not Be Mine - Post Metal meets Portishead meets late era Swans? Something like that. Kinda scratches the Rose Kemp/ Anna Von Hausswolff/ Muscle and Marrow itch too.

Wolok - Bilious Hues of Gloom - This new Wolok sounds like their previous album caught in a glue trap... Or maybe a Gluey Porch Treatment is more appropriate.

Rigorous Institution - Cainsmarsh - PDX crusties sounding like what the Amebix reunion should have been.

Black Cross Hotel - Hex - I described these guys as sounding like Killing Joke Crossed with The Misfits and I'm sticking with that, though I will add that they also kinda remind me of a synthed out version of this early 00's Massachusetts Band called Gaskill that probably no one but me remembers.

Underneath the Deadlights - Angelic Void - I don't listen to all that much noise/ death industrial these days but this album rules.

Author And Punisher - Kruller - This was a kind of a grower, but it has become a solid favorite. Maybe not as completely insane heavy as Beastland, but packs its own creepy/ moody punch.

Cave In - Heavy Pendulum - Sixteen year old me's favorite band emerge from tragedy with one of their finest albums to date.

Voivod - Synchro Anarchy - Not my favorite Voivod album, but it's still a Voivod album so it beats 9/10 of everything else by default.

Immolation - Acts of God - Another crusher from the long running NYDM titans. Maybe better than Atonement?

Origin - Chaosmos - I've been a big Origin fan since 2001-ish and I'm stoked on this new one. As "blast" as ever with maybe a bit more "groove" than usual thrown in the mix (to the point they straight up borrow a Dying Fetus riff in one song).

AIDS - The Road To Nuclear Holocaust - Paving the road to nuclear holocaust with electronically augmented crust punk.

Bad Breeding - Human Capital - This new one sounds like an unholy gene splice of Killing Joke, Wire, and Icons of Filth.

Soreption - Jord - Insane melodic tech death that sorta sounds like an updated version of "Testimony of the Ancients" era Pestilence.

Favorite Song of 2022:

Cave In - Blinded By A Blaze

Dissappointments:

Scott Kelly - A sad ending to the career of the musician who inspired me more than probably anyone barring Tony Iommi.

Random Happy Bullshit:

Reading books again

Finally starting to learn a bit of proper music theory after being self taught for almost thirty years.

Shit that didn't come out this year that I listened to a lot:

Rotting Christ - The Heretics/ AEALO/ Theogonia - Rotting Christ were the first black metal band I ever liked and I remain a big fan to this day. I think "Non Serviam" is probably my pound for pound favorite, but I enjoy a lot of the newer albums too, especially the three mentioned above.

Autarkh - Form In Motion - Took a while to warm up to, but this is essentially what you would get if you threw Dodecahedron, Red Harvest, Fear Factory, and The Dillinger Escape Plan in a blender.

Bad Religion - Suffer/ No Control/ Against the Grain - Probably my three most listened to albums of all time.

Gary Numan - There are times I'm pretty sure Gary Numan is my favorite artist who has ever lived.

Invocator - If you crossed Exhorder with Morbid Angel it would probably sound a hell of a lot like Weave the Apocalypse. How the hell did I not know about this band til 2022?

#Year End List #Fuck This Took A Long Time To Write

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namjuicytits · 2 years

Text

namjoon-ah, you deserve the world everyday, but today i'm dedicating it entirely to you. h^^py birthday, to the man that keeps me happy and healthy by just being around.. hehe. i have a lot to say to you in particular, i hope you're not too surprised. if cozy was a person it would be you, so please forgive me in advance for all the times i refer to you this way. you're someone to me that i can't live without, that i can't work without, that i can't be myself without. if i feel anxious, i look over to you and feel a little more calm, and when we speak, you always have the right words to make things easier. this is something i admire from you so much; you have many gifts that you give to the world but i'm honored every time you show this one to me.

there’s such a comfort in your presence, even if we don’t say much to each other, or even if we’re in a crowd around many others. i’ve always wanted to tell you that, but maybe it’s obvious in the way i magnetize myself to you sometimes. it may sound a little cliche but i think we were meant to find each other, because i couldn't imagine a world where i couldn't lean on you or a world where i couldn't provide a shoulder to you in the same light. we can talk a lot for many hours, but those moments where you can sit quietly with me and it feels like a cozy warm blanket mean so much to me too. you're one of the closest people in my life, there's no one in the world like you and i feel so lucky that somehow i was picked to be a part of your story. thank you, sincerely, for everything you do for us and for bangtan all the time. you're our pillar of strength, you're our inspiration, we watch you with stars in our eyes because you, truly, are the star.

when it comes to music and art, i really think you're a genius. hyung, you're so cool. when you give me lyrics, or go over them with me, i'm always in awe of the things that come from your brain. you have your moments of being really silly too, but that never overshadows the beautiful things you've put together in your music. you work hard, there's been a lot of sleepless nights between all of us, but what you've put out there shows it's all been worth it. as our leader for all these years, you have never, not even once, let us down. and you never will, we will never think so. over time, we realize how much pressure it is to be in your position sometimes, but you always and only impress. don't be so hard on yourself, hyung, and i wish there was a way we could help you view yourself through our own eyes. if we could, you would never question yourself again. really~

i think i've brought it up about 1 million times now, but this moment recently where you knew how to put me to sleep when i was scared from a movie was very… unknowingly, at the time, symbolic of the person you are for me. i was really surprised and touched in a silly way, because what you did was something i'm sure you could do for anyone and not just me. but that's okay, because i realize you are usually this kind of person for anyone with the pleasure of becoming so close to you. you know what to do, you have answers, and in the moments you don't, all your efforts brought you an ARMY (hehe) of friends to give them back to you. thank you for being born into the person you are for all of us. i'll continue to look to you as life goes on, i'll continue to laugh with you and i'll continue to cry with you until there's nothing left of the earth… and even then, we'll continue among the stars.

there's so many moments between us, i picked this one because it's easy to expose in this letter for anyone to see.. you've seen me cry so much in our lives, i think i owe you a small apology! i'm joking. i know you don't mind. thank you for listening to all my scrambled thoughts and putting things together for me when i can't seem to do so myself. you make things make sense when they don't. i don't know how you always manage it, but you do. thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. i love you, i love you, i love you so much.

let's drink beer today and let me tell you how thankful i am for you in person! let's go on a bike ride sometime soon, and i want to discuss my entire album with you, if you don't mind… it won't feel complete until i do it~ ^^ your parents are really something too, for bringing you into the world for us. i'm going to thank them personally. they deserve to hear it! don't forget that you're the most wonderful man in the world. being your lamp is something i'm proud of every day, i'm watching you closely all the time ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ

with all my love, you're the coolest guy i know, we're going to gift you the sun so you can properly take care of all your plants, thank you again for everything you do for everyone, and most of all, thank you for what you do for me, you know who will sign this, who else is your lamp? JIMIN

#🍃 jimin

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hanazou · 3 years

Text

matching onesies with him.

Books : Dazai | Chuuya | Oda

Shelf : Mixed

Genre : Fluff, domestic

Note : I did this of my own accord because I am, in fact, a softie

Dazai Osamu

This clingy crackhead.

Dazai will be the first to come up with the idea. It's actually a random one and he asked it so spontaneously, he doesn't expect you to actually say yes.

"Sure, why not?" You agreed.

He's both surprised and elated, and he didn't hide this reaction at all.

"Oh, darling!" He wrapped a hug around your neck. "You always revive my heart with your love!"

You both will be enthusiastic about picking the onesies and agree to surf the net instead of looking from shop to shop since Dazai is under the supervision of a certain angry Kunikida

It almost feels like babysitting. Not that you hate it right? Should you get an identical pair with different sizes? Or complementary ones?

Dazai will call the customer service to ask if they have black crow onesies since crows represent death in some cultures. The response is obviously no and it's obvious that the customer service was confused.

"That's a shame," Dazai whined disappointedly, shoulders dropping. "Wouldn't it be both cute and poetic if we had a double suicide while wearing matching crow onesie? Two achievements in one!"

At that point you wouldn't even be surprised anymore. You will just take the phone away from him to apologise and thank the customer service. You have to convince Dazai that you won't find a onesie of that kind

"Wait, don't tell me," You stared at him. "The reason you want to get onesies is just to wear a matching crow pair?"

"Is it?" He grinned mischievously. "Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, but I just want to match with you."

Other ADA members will wonder what you and Dazai were doing, Kunikida the most. He isn't exactly curious, more like suspicious. What's that good-for-nothing Dazai up to now?

Eventually you find a pair of identical ones. Kind of rare designs too! Guess what?

Crabs! In red! The little eyes on the hood!

It will take less than a week for the onesies to arrive in a small box. When it does Dazai will pull out a cutter so energetically Atsushi will think he's going to pull a suicide attempt with it

"AAH! Dazai-san! No!"

Nothing will happen aside from Dazai stabbing the box (while making sure he doesn't cut the onesies inside. he's good with blades, ex Port Mafia and all)

The crab pincers for your hands are soft like mittens and so smooth???? Imagine sweaterpaws but with crab pincer mittens (!!)

It will take everything in you to stop Dazai from wearing it that instant since a client Fukuzawa talked about will be coming. You will need Atsushi's help to take it off him but let's not talk about it

Both of Dazai's legs are already in the onesie too..

It seems like Kyouka wants one. Yosano and Naomi will tell Atsushi to buy the girl one and match with her

When Dazai and you go home together, he will be so excited to wear the onesies immediately. Dazai will be light on his feet.

And when you finally put yours on? Pictures. Dazai will take lots of pictures of you. You're a piece of art and he wants pictures so he can recall the image anytime

"Oh, dearest~ How is it possible for you to be so cute?" He began his dramatic poses, a hand over his head while spinning like a ballet dancer.

You both will take a lot of couple pictures.

"Love, you are so adorable I want to eat you!"

"Is it me who's cute or the crab?" You teased back.

When Dazai makes a troubled expression to answer your question, you will have to pinch him 💢

If you can cook crab soup, wouldn't it be funny to make and eat one with Dazai while wearing crab onesies? He will be so clingy when you do it, like an old school married couple; when you cook, he'll be bugging you while hugging from behind. It feels cozy, don't blame him

You have to be keen with your eyes so you won't miss Dazai secretly pouring ajinomoto to the soup. Get him a healthier diet, I'm begging you.

"Look, the crab is red like us." He pointed at the soup. "And like your face when I do this." He took advantage of you turning your head to peck your cheek.

He will also pinch your nose with his pincer mitten. "Boop!" It's a challenge. Boop his nose back.

You think he's already as clingy as he can be, huh? Wrong. You are absolutely wrong. If he previously sticks around you like a magnet, this time he's glued to you.

Even in the shared living space, he won't let you go. Is it the softness of the onesie under his touch, the warmth, or your cuteness? Well, it's all of them. What then?

Snuggles.

You both cuddle together in the futon until falling asleep together. You feel twice as warm.

He's the big spoon, let him feel the smoothness of the onesie while feeling your heat. And for once, the double suicide joke stopped for the rest of day. That's how much this impacts him, and you're proud of him.

Nakahara Chuuya

Matching with Chuuhuahua in a onesie? You lucky fella.

You have to be the one initiating it with Chuuya. Baby boy will be like "Eeh?" at first. He's not against it at all but more like, confused. The request is out of the blue

"Come on, why not?" You tilt your head. "It will feel so soft to cuddle with?"

That's it, that's the spell for him to agree

Mans is a Port Mafia executive, you can't go out from shop to shop in a mall to get your onesie with his schedule, so you have to settle with online shopping with this guy too

Only when he has time to spare from beating up people

You will sit together on a couch at the headquarters once Chuuya and you don't have missions. It's a good chance to relax and unwind together too

Chuuya knows best where to find clothes, including onesies. There are so many options! Dinosaurs, frogs, bears, Sanrio characters, Doraemon, Pikachu, Line characters, pandas, unicorns, penguins!! (I should stop fantasizing Chuuya in each of them)

Chuuya will act cool and chill about it at first, but he actually got invested in choosing and thankfully he isn't a crackhead unlike a certain someone

He has a good fashion sense I don't accept criticism, and this side of him will jump out while both of you scroll the catalogue. He nails both street wear and mafia outfits daily, so you can bet he'd pick the best onesies for you both

"This one doesn't suit you," He moved to the next option. "These are the only colours available? Pass.", "What's with the unnecessarily long tail?", "Oh maybe this? Wait, I don't like the stripes."

Of course, he will listen to your opinion too but since you feel he's better at this, you just either nod or shake your head with him

You have to be careful with your words when picking the size (this is much more valid if you're taller) or he'll go "I'm not that short!"

Kouyou and Mori (+ Elise) will catch you both on the couch together while browsing, comfy and all, and Kouyou asked what you two were doing. Chuuya's face will be as red as wine.

When you want to explain, his gloved hand will cover your mouth and he frantically shakes his head, screaming "Don't!" silently.

But alas, while you want to tell him there's nothing to be embarrassed of, Kouyou will take the phone from your hand with a curious grin and a "What's this~?"

Chuuya will just accept fate at that point, growling to himself and all

Kouyou and Mori won't expect to see a catalogue of onesies, apparently. The "Huh," on their faces are hilarious, and Mori will be instantly inspired to get a full set for his Elise-chan, much to her distaste.

While Mori and Elise are going at it, Kouyou will actually share her opinions. Chuuya will crawl out from his burrow of embarrassment and listen to her with you.

"Rather than identical ones, these would be much better. They have variety." Kouyou said. And you both will agree. You both have been eyeing a specific pair anyway

You both will decide to get complementary ones! Chuuya's will be a brown teddy and yours a white bunny! (Try googling Line's Brown and Cony, they're cute you won't regret it) Kouyou will totally agree with the decision.

When the package arrives, both of you will open it together. Chuuya's eyes for clothes are never wrong, the quality is immaculate. So warm and smooth, not a seam out of place.

Imagine the blush on Chuuya's face when you put on the white bunny onesie. The bunny ears on the hood! The fluffiness! His flustered face!

He will be slightly hesitant to put his own on, but when he does, you swear you can die from the cuteness. Want to see more cuteness? Tease him about it, and maybe he'll tickle you down until you're too breathless to tease him.

Chuuya doesn't want to say it explicitly but it does feel really comfortable, it's suitable for winters too.

As usual, Chuuya will be the big spoon. You will melt into his warmth and the smoothness of his onesie, and you can tell he's enjoying it too, from the way he'll drag his hand all over you to feel the smooth fabric

"It's a good thing we listened to ane-san's suggestion, hm?" You asked. "I didn't exactly like the matching penguin pairs."

"Yeah, this isn't bad at all." Chuuya admitted, snuggling his chin into the crook of your neck. "You're so warm."

Oda Sakunosuke

First off I'm Odasaku's lover before I'm anything else.

When the weather gets cold, it's your idea to get onesies for the kids. They could use some cute onesies to sleep in.

Unlike Dazai and Chuuya, Odasaku will have time to spare to go shopping with you. Being the handyman of Port Mafia has its good sides, after all.

The atmosphere is identical to a date! You both meet up at evening after work, have a simple dinner first, then start the shopping. Shopping for the kids' onesies with him makes you feel like a parent doesn't it?

Odasaku and you will make sure not to pick flimsy, thin, or rough ones. Only the best for the kids. Both of you put your keen eyes to use, examining every considered piece

Odasaku and you will definitely discuss whether to get five identical or different ones. After considering that the kids have different personalities, choosing different pieces will sound more ideal. You both will grant them the liberty of picking themselves.

"We just have to make sure they don't fight over it." Odasaku said.

Lion, dinosaur, piglet, panda, and penguin. That's what you both will choose!

Odasaku is a man who doesn't wear his emotions on his sleeves, so you relied on his eyes when it comes to him. You will see love and sincerity. He picks each piece with careful consideration.

The store clerk will throw an unexpected (yet clichéd shoujo) question at you both. "You picked such good choices. We have sets for adults too, why not match with your children?"

Odasaku and you will widen your eyes. First of all, parents? And match? Both of you stare at each other in confusion. Should you get two get a pair for yourselves?

"Why not?" Odasaku eventually said.

Odasaku's will be a brown dog and yours a white cat (remember that one official art of Odasaku with puppy ears? <3)

Odasaku and you will immediately visit the kids and give them their onesies. Their excitement in picking one for their own made you smile, and you can see the joy in Odasaku's eyes when the kids thanked him and you. He doesn't smile, but you don't need him to just to know he's glad his children love your pick. The way he pats their heads already speaks volumes of love.

Thankfully no kid wrestled to get what they want. You were especially concerned Kousuke will compete with someone

Odasaku will bring a secondhand polaroid he once bought at Yokohama's flea market to take pictures of the kids. You will herd the children to gather for the picture while Odasaku looked for the right angle in the other side of the room.

"Why don't you stay there for the picture too?" Odasaku asked you, half of his face behind the camera.

You kneel behind the kids and put your hands on Sakura and Yuu's shoulders, the ones who stood on the far left and right. That much is enough to warm Odasaku's heart, but when you too, smile for the camera, he freezes for a while to take the sight with his eyes

The picture comes out nicely. You will end up convincing Odasaku to take more but with him in it, together, all seven of you. You would need the curry diner owner's help to take the picture

"Sakunosuke, smile, will you?" You held his shoulder while you both kneeled behind the kids for the picture. He would be a little stunned

He smiles, but it was faint. Nevertheless, you recognise the content in his eyes in the photo, and it's enough.

When it's just the two of you in the living quarters, you will have to remind Odasaku that he too, bought a onesie. He will gladly put it on him since you look so eager, he's curious how it feels too

Your heart stops when he put on the hood with the puppy ears. You will have to fight back the urge to attack him with cuddles right there and then when his confused and innocent face matches the onesie so much!

"You're adorable," You smiled half teasingly, taking in the look of confused Odasaku who looked down at his onesie. The weight of the material felt right, it's like a cozy blanket.

"Try to put yours on," He says. When you did, his heart also missed a beat. The kitten ears on your head! The pure snowy white on you!

Odasaku is a bear hugger and when he hugs you, his embrace will feel tighter than usual. It's no surprise, he likes you and cats, and the way you interacted with the kids that day played tricks on his heart. You hug him back and ruffle his head while he mumbles his thank-you's at you

That night's sleep will be filled with nothing but cuddles of love and adoration. Yes, Odasaku is the big spoon, but you will also hold his arms tighter around you as you both drift into the night, chatting about life.

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inknopewetrust · 3 years

Text

In Another Universe Part 4 (Marcus Moreno x Reader)

Summary: The reunion you've both been waiting forever for.

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x Fem!Reader (We Can Be Heroes/MCU Crossover)

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: None.

A/N: This is it! Thank you all for showing interest in this series and being so enthusiastic about it. @jupitersmooneuropa, this is for you! You're idea was so wonderful, I just couldn't resist making it into a mini-series and I hope I did you proud. Requests are currently CLOSED but will be open again soon. Check out my MASTERLIST for all other works!

Being a hero meant a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Some loved the fame, the recognition, the money that sometimes came with, while some just wanted to be helpful and loved for their work. But one quality heroes had in common was that they were able to calm their nerves in the most crucial moments.

For Marcus Moreno, that crucial moment was now, and he could barely contain his nerves.

Clint could feel the anxiety radiating off the man. Marcus tried to play it cool because he had everything that made him seem cool: the swords, the tactical gear, his stoic face, but it wasn't enough to mask emotions from a world-class spy. Though Clint was able to sense it, he wasn't sure what exactly to say. He had only heard about Marcus through you, he only knew what little you told him, and that was how he determined Marcus wasn't some alien but the man you've been waiting for.

It was an awkward silence. One filled with the quiet roaring of the engines and every now and again, the sound of alerts from the computers around them. Clint kept his eyes on the sky while Marcus took peaks at the landscape below. The world looked so much like his own... just not as technically advanced as his own. The clouds swallowed the sip and his eyes drifted forward again as he took in a deep breath and exhaled.

"Nervous?" Clint managed to crack Marcus a smile and glanced at the man sitting to his right. Marcus chuckled, nodding his head with a nonchalance.

"You could say that."

"There's no reason for you to be."

"There's always a chance for something to go wrong."

Clint shrugged and flipped some switches as the quinjet began to descend.

"Are we there already?"

"Almost. About 5 minutes out."

Another uneasy silence fell over them but Clint wasn't contributing to it. Marcus just wanted everything to be like it was before. You, Missy, and himself in a home that felt like home. He couldn't have asked for a better partner in life and work, and it was taken away from him just like your life was taken away from you, but he wasn't going to say his life was better without you because it wasn't. Marcus just feared that maybe this life here was better than the one you had built with him. No one's reassurance except your own could tell him otherwise.

"Can I ask you a question?" Marcus glanced at Clint before returning to look forward again, a little embarrassed to be talking about you with someone he didn't know. But he knew you loved Clint like a brother, just as Natasha had been a sister, so he understood there was a level of trust there. Clint mumbled a 'go ahead' but his attention wasn't entirely on Marcus.

"Is she happy here?"

'Loaded question, but alright Mr. other world.' Clint thought before answering with the only truthful answer that could be given. He has watched the progression of a quiet depression become one of reclusiveness and a bitter happiness. You weren't happy here, in this world, with him or any of the Avengers. Natasha was gone, Steve was gone, Wanda was MIA, Bucky and Sam were on their own adventures. No one was here except him and that wasn't nearly enough to support someone who lost everything and then some because of a greedy man with glowing stones. This wasn't your home anymore.

"Was. She was at one time. I don't think this is where her heart is anymore."

Clint gave him a flat smile but Marcus did not return it. The thought alone of you avoiding social contact because happiness was ripped away from you in every direction was heart-wrenching. He never wanted to bring you any pain and a part of him couldn't help but believe that if he tried harder, if he hadn't wasted time being upset with your arrival years ago, things may have been different.

"We're here."

The announcement sent shockwaves through him. A thunderbolt of pure, unexplainable fear and anticipation of seeing you again struck his core. This was it; this was his endgame and the farm that slowly made itself clear out the window was the destination.

"Let me go in and see them first, make sure they're home, and then I'll come back. Is that alright?"

Marcus could only nod and watch the man grab his bags and bow and leave the jet. Marcus unbuckled himself because there was no point in staying in the seat. The back was left open and while Clint had told him to stay, he couldn't help but walk down the ramp and stand just to the side of the jet. He ran his hand over the side of the matte gray finish, slightly impressed by the time it took to get there. It was faster than he thought even if it felt like an eternity.

The house was a nice weathered white. It had seen better days and as Clint approached the door, he noted all the fixes needed. The rusted door handle, the broken pot in the corner, an abundance of yard toys and broken bicycle parts laid around him. He managed to open the door with limited squeaking, but Laura heard it and so did Lila. The boys weren't home because if they were, they would have tackled him to the ground the moment they heard the ship land in the yard.

"Clint!? What are you doing here? I thought you weren't supposed to be back for two weeks." Laura said as soon as she came around the corner from the kitchen. Lila was right behind her with a smile and hug for him–which he gladly accepted.

"Emergency. Where is Y/n? I have something I think she'd want to see."

Laura furrowed her eyebrows and moved to the window. Outside, beside the jet, stood a man who could have been a new Avenger for all she knew. She turned back to Clint, moving away from the window so Lila could sneak a glance too.

"What is it? Who is that man out there?"

"That man is Marcus. That Marcus. He just appeared at the compound looking for her. They apparently have been trying to find a way to bring her back and whatever he did, it worked."

Laura let out an audible gasp, returning to the window and looking at the man. Slowly, just as Clint had hours before, she began to piece together the man before her eyes from the stories you had told her about.

"Oh my God! OH MY GOD!" She almost yelled so loudly the neighbors two blocks away could hear her. Clint shushed her but she couldn't keep the smile off her face. Laura ran to the staircase and yelled up it.

"Y/n! Get down here!"

"Oh my God, Clint! She had a great day today and wow-I just can't believe it."

You had heard Laura's loud enthusiasm from the room you had been staying in. You thought you'd leave her be until her voice trailed up the stairs again and she called out to you. It wasn't like you had any idea of what was going on. You heard the quinjet, figured Clint was back, and it was around dinner time so maybe it was time to eat? It was the first time in a long time that your thoughts hadn't been cluttered with death or sadness, but those feelings lingered. You exited the room, walked down the stairs and smiling at Clint when you saw his face.

"How's the girl?" Kate Bishop.

"She's a real hero." Clint replied and you nodded your head in reply. Doing so, you managed to turn toward the window from your place on the second to last step. Outside sat the quinjet that had taken so many of you and your friends on missions that could have well been your last. But it wasn't the vehicle that caught your undivided attention, but the body beside it. Standing tall in black.

Your eyes had to have been deceiving you.

"What is going on?" Your voice was barely a whisper, but Laura caught it, smiling and grabbing your hand. Your attention never left the window. The man was pacing slightly, a nervous tick you were sure you knew.

"Laura-"

"Go and see for yourself, Y/n." Her voice was quiet too but reassuring and warm, like a mothers should be. The man outside didn't know what was going on, but he left your sight because you descended the rest of the steps and ran out the door.

The door squeaked loudly this time and with a bang, fell shut. You barely made it to the steps before you stopped on the gravel. about 20 yards away, the man heard the door and turned.

Even if the entire world was watching the scene unfold on Clint's lawn, many could not recall who moved first. Laura would say Marcus because that's who she could see, but you were slightly convinced it was your own feet. Nevertheless, after the door had slammed and the two of you met again, the universe drew you together like magnets. You ran, he ran, and with the collision, you both wrapped your arms around each other and soon your feet were off the ground.

You could barely say a word with your blubbering tears, and he wasn't about to make his obvious either so instead of talking, he just pulled away enough to look you in the face. Your eyes the same, your nose the same, your lips still perfect to him. Your hands moved from around his neck to his face. You gently held his face in your hands as you tried to control yourself.

"You're really here?" It was a broken ask but he managed a smile and moved a piece of hair out of your face.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"I missed you s-so much." Marcus couldn't help but grin at the admission. It was everything and more than he wanted to hear.

"I love you. I love you so damn much." His hand rested on the back of your neck and he pulled you to him. His lips were just as you remembered.

Perfectly him and as if they were made for your own.

Reunions were sentimental and good. But they were followed with a series of questions that were often difficult to hear. Marcus had held you for a long time. You weren't sure how long and you weren't exactly complaining either, but there was a linger question: how did he get here and how in the world are you getting back?

You had been adamant in telling him 'yes' the moment Marcus asked you the question about returning to his world. That was the plan for you. There were no other options because life with Marcus and Missy was your life now and whoever was left that loved you like family had to accept that. Marcus had explained the machine built to travel through worlds over dinner with Clint because perhaps he could be the one to help. He had travelled through time before so what is traveling through universes, right?

But later that night, when the reunion had settled and everyone had gone to bed, Marcus sat on the edge of an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room with a woman he loves. Clint could help you, but he needed time. So, he left with the jet while you stayed with the family and Marcus. He went to go see Stephen Strange because he managed to pick up the phone late that night.

"Do you think they'll be able to get us back? I don't want to leave Missy there all alone." Marcus voiced his worry with a sad reflection. You sat up from your reclined position and waddled over to him, running your hands up his back and then around his shoulders before he gently took them and tugged them around him. He missed your touch so much.

"You've never seen Dr. Stephen Strange do his 'magic' so I think there's a chance."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He turned his head just enough so he could look at your face. You may have been a spy, but your eyes never lied to him. He knew you better than any interrogator could ever wish to have known you.

"Yes, I want to be with you and Missy and all those heroes with weird names." You laughed for the first time in a long time and it was music to his ears. He smiled to where his eyes crinkled in the corners as your fingers played with the nape of his neck where his loose hair sat.

"I just want you to be happy, Y/n. Your happiness means everything to me."

"I am happy with you. I am happy in our home. This makes me happy."

That was enough for him. The next day you both waited... and waited... and waited for even one word from Clint, but nothing came. Sometime in the afternoon, the heavy engine of the quinjet could be heard in the yard so you dropped the puzzle pieces on the table beside Lila, grabbed Marcus' hand and ran out the door. Clint had a small smile on his face, but it was the sharply dressed Doctor that you focused your attention on.

"Doctor."

"Agent."

"I trust there is a way home if you're here. You wouldn't come all this way to bare bad news."

"Your skills on reading people alarm me, though I would expect nothing less from an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D."

Stephen nodded and then extended his hand to Marcus who shook it in return. They introduced themselves to one another and Stephen put a gold bar on his fingers before extending his hand to the wide landscape of the farm.

"What are you doing?" You asked with a furrowed brow. This wasn't the way Marcus had come, they were supposed to fix the control pad he had on his arm.

"Do you really think the Sorcerer Supreme can't open portals to other universes? There are so many worlds you don't know, but you found the one you were meant to be in, so let me get you both home."

With a circular movement of his fingers, Stephen opened a yellow portal that slowly became an image of a world you had known before. A house, perfectly structured in the suburbs was on the other side. The grass perfectly mowed and the bushes trimmed, the mail box accidentally left open which you knew was Missy's fault. The curtains were open and the sun shone brightly into the home. Marcus grabbed you hand, squeezing it tightly as you took in the sight. Months had gone by where you dreamed of this moment, of that house and all its residents. Your dream was here now with the man holding your hand to support you.

"Y/n." Clint called out to you, breaking your stare. You turned around and he approached with his family in tow. He held out a small envelope which contained a note from them and a series of pictures that you would later cry over, but it was a final goodbye from your life here on this Earth.

You hugged them all with tears in your eyes but when Marcus re-took your hand, it felt like it meant something more than just running off into the sunset together. It felt normal and needed and necessary to move forward in your life.

"Are you ready?" Marcus asked you to which you could only reply with one word:

"Yes."

Tag list for series: (thanks for the support!!)

@pasckles @jupitersmooneuropa @agingerindenial @karnita-mexicana @mcueveryday @shadowolf993 @computeringturtle @roxypeanut

#we can be heroes #we can be heroes netflix #marcus moreno x reader #marcus moreno #marcus moreno x fem reader #marcus moreno x you #marcus moreno x y/n #pedro pascal #x reader #x you #x y/n #final part #fanfiction #self insert #fanfic #requested #pedro pascal x reader

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johns-prince · 3 years

Note

I was reading Norman's biography of Mick Jagger the other day and at some point I realized that good old Mick had it BAD for John. They hung out a lot in the Lost Weekend and Mick seemed heartbroken when May told him John had gone back to Yoko. He was so upset that he talked to the press about it multiple times, whining about not having any access to John and that he was hiding behind Sean. Mick wasn't wrong, though. I was just very entertained by his reaction. Then there is this:

"Mick, as a result, had found himself in the—for him—highly unusual position of wanting to see someone but having his every friendly overture rebuffed.

From his sitting room window, he could see the Gothic rooftops of Lennon’s home, and would sometimes act out the part of a spurned girlfriend: “[John’s] right over there. Does he ever call me? Does he ever go out? No. Changes his phone number about every ten minutes. I’ve given up . . .” But there was no disguising how much this apparent indifference really hurt. Once or twice, he put aside the Tyranny of Cool sufficiently to leave Lennon a note with his own current phone number at the Dakota concierges’ desk, but no response ever came."

LOL "John is right over there. IS HE THINKING OF ME?" The thirst was real, you guys. I don't remember Mick being this sad about any of his women leaving him. Me thinks Johnny hit and quit it but someone fell in love, you see.

I agree, Mick sounds like a jilted lover/girlfriend here who just wants to be at least acknowledged. He was seriously upset about the fact that, when John went back to Yoko he knew that she didn’t like him. She thought he wasn’t worth John’s time and was a bad influence. Gotta remember, Mick and John had been friends since the sixties-- Mick was much closer to John then Paul, even.

Also talk about the gall because she was completely fine with John hanging out with the likes of Klein, Phil Spector, and Magic Alex... Like, talk about bad influences-- Phil fucking pointed a gun at John because he liked to freak John out and upset him. She liked these people. She approved of them for John. Yoko isn’t fully to blame, John also holds blame for how he’d treat people and just cut them off [even if he personally didn’t want too] but she encouraged John to cut ties with family and close, old friends just, like that.

I feel for Mick. I honestly feel for anyone who loved John, it did seem trying at times. I mean, sometimes it’s not always easy for me to love John just as some crazed groupie... I could only imagine how intense and, confusing and exciting and, memorable it would have been to know him, personally, and get to love him personally.

I personally don’t think anything serious happened between John and Mick. Kind of like how I believe nothing deeper then just, solid friendship was between John and Stu-- someone he could confide in, who wasn’t just Paul.

Was there flirting between the two? Absolutely, though I find it to be a partially playful joking sort of flirting between friends, and partially with a serious edge to it. Libra’s are natural flirters, they often to do it unintentionally because it’s just, part of their personality. John most likely both an unintentional and intentional flirt, and his male friends weren’t left out on his teasing’s and naughty, playful behavior [specifically moreso open and direct about it in the 70s]

But, I do think you’re right that Mick had it bad. Most male friends of John seemed to have it bad for him, in some way or another. Women and men loved John-- he was rather easy to love, despite how he’s painted and the sort of front he put up. As Paul said-- John was a loveable guy, everyone loved him, and he was right [though Paul usually only mentions everyone else when talking about loving John, deflects onto others at the same time but I digress]

Even men who apparently thought of him a poky bastard seemed to inevitably be drawn to him, and like him [like David Bailey]

He was loved, so, so much.

“The theory is that when John went off to Spain on holiday with Brian, that’s what it was all about - John trying to get his position clear as the leader of the group. Also, I’m sure Brian was in love with John. We were all in love with John, but Brian was gay so that added an edge.” Paul McCartney - Anthology

PAUL: “Well, I’m sure Brian was in love with John, I’m sure that’s absolutely right. I mean, everyone was in love with John; John was lovable, John was a very lovable guy.” [x]

“What did John Lennon see in me? I think outrageousness and being true to myself and not giving a fuck. We hit it off straight away, even though I was in complete awe of him. He was nothing else but kind to me. I never saw the other side of John, the Harry Nilsson drinking side of John, where he turned on a sixpence. I only saw the gentle, gorgeous side of John, and he was gentle not only to me but my parents, my band members, and I just fell in love with him.”

— Elton John [x]

“Nowhere can the caring side of John Lennon be documented more accurately than in his relationship with Malcolm Evans, the very tall and bespectacled man who became a regular as a road manager, along with Neil Aspinall, on the Beatles’ tours. Evans had a magnetic personality and was a favorite with reporters and the women who tagged along. His smile and charm could be deceptive; he would have done anything to protect the Beatles. At one point on the touring aircraft, while traveling from Jacksonville to Boston in 1964, a tired Mal Evans sat next to me in the rear of the aircraft with tears trickling down his face. I asked, “What’s the matter?” Mal answered, “John got kind of cross with me … just said I should go f— off. No reason, ya’ know. But I love the man. John is a powerful force. Sometimes he’s rough, if you know what I mean, man. But there’s no greater person that I know.” I never learned what the dispute was about, but I do know that a few minutes later, a sullen Lennon walked by and embraced Evans.” — Larry Kane [x]

“Sharing a twisted sense of humour and a penchant for mischief, Nilsson and Lennon were natural buddies. It was perhaps inevitable that the LA-dwelling singer would gravitate towards Lennon. Lennon clearly appreciated Nilsson’s edginess and was very likely looking for a male soulmate to fill the hole left by McCartney. For his part, Nilsson’s feelings for Lennon ran even deeper: ‘I really fell in love with him. He was all those things you wanted somebody to be.”

Man On The Run: Paul McCartney in the 1970s by Tom Doyle [x]

“But the acerbic John is the one we know and love, you know, because he was clever with it, so it was very attractive. But, for me, I have more than a slight affection for the John that I knew then, when we were first writing songs, when we would try and do things the old songwriters had done. I slightly regret the way John’s image has formed, and because he died so tragically it has become set in concrete. The acerbic side was there but it was only part of him. He was also such a sweet, lovely man – a really sweet guy. ””

— Paul McCartney, discussing John Lennon [x]

John was a charming man in his own right, charismatic, and funny. Having a good sense of humor is always attractive, and draws people to you. As Paul says, and Elton, John was kind, he was sweet and friendly. He wasn’t always this, Mr. Tough and aggressive, ripping into people with his sharp tongue. He was gentle, he could be gentle, in his own way. Warm, and loving.

He had this ability to just... make you feel like you’ve known him longer then you actually have. Like you have some sort of, special relationship or connection with him-- that you were the only one who was close enough to see underneath his armor, to know him as intimately as anyone else ever could.

Course, this was simply how many felt and wanted to be the reality[specifically men], when it wasn’t, not exactly. They didn't really know the real John, they didn't get to see him at his most sincere, when his beautiful armor was chipped away and he was standing naked and scared. He described himself like a chameleon when it came to social settings, when interacting with different individuals [friends], which honestly makes sense as a Libra [Gemini’s are just as guilty of this]

They got to know a facet of John... Maybe they did get a glimpse of John here and there, but it’s just reality that John didn’t just, open up so easily to people like that. He didn’t like feeling vulnerable, and he had a habit of testing people’s loyalty and love for him [whether it had been consciously or not, I’m not always sure] because of the insecurities and doubt that one day, they’d turn on him or abandon him.

Again, he had this way in making people [other men] feel as if they had an intimate and special connection with him. And maybe they did to varying degrees. John had a way to act open with others, without actually being open and vulnerable, or at least not fully. I’m not sure if I’m making sense lol

Only ones who I think ever got to know the real John, were Mimi(of course she raised him), Pete (friends since they were just peanuts), Cynthia somewhat, May got glimpses and wanted John to be himself and independent... Yoko to a degree (though she focuses on entirely pushing and talking about Brand John Lennon™)

And who I know for a fact did, and does know John the most intimately, deeply, unabashedly, is Paul.

But anyway, speaking of being so very attractive, John was attractive. Like, many women and men found him exceedingly attractive, like this one male photographer who believed John was the most handsome out of the band;

“I think John was the best looking, actually. The refined nose. He never went out of his way to be a disagreeable person. He would be the one to go over and just sit and sign some little girl’s book...”

Harry Benson, photographer who took the photo of the iconic pillow fight and other well known Beatle photos, talks about John. [x]

Then we have David Bailey, who described Paul, Ringo, and George as rather pleasant-- while describing John as being a fucker, a bit poky.

And yet, it was John who David Bailey claimed to like, out of all of them.

“I didn’t like the Beatles – I liked John ... John was a fucker. Paul was always the nicest guy in the world. George, he always seemed full of angst. Ringo always seemed Mr Nice Guy. But John was a bit poky; I liked him.”

-- David Bailey Originally; published in the March 2014 issue of British GO magazine.

That’s honestly the only parts of the interview worth reading, Bailey is sort of a dickhead and clearly seems biased against Paul, and just The Beatles as a band in general, so [which is fascinating. Considering he might’ve been peeved towards Paul ever since John brought his partner along for that photoshoot because he didn’t want to go in alone lol]

Mick did love John, though in what way or in what varying degree, is up for discussion and personal conclusion. Just like how it’s up to interpretation and discussion how much and in what way David Bowie, Elton John, Harry Nilsson, Mal Evans, Billy Preston, and Brian Epstein loved John.

But it’s clear as day that, in my opinion, they almost all seemed to have some sort of man-crush on him. A serious admiration. Harry Nilsson sounded like he was in a bro-mance with John [or at least he wanted to be in one with him]

Course we can’t forget Paul, but we all know that Paul loved John in such varying degrees, it’s truly impossible to label it. They’re soulmates, can’t really categorize the love between soulmates so easily.

Anyway, point of this all; Mick definitely had it bad for John, but then again who didn’t?

#questionsquestionsquestions #john lennon #mick jagger #honestly most of response is unnecessary but I already put so much effort into it lol

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