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tocomplainfriend · 3 months

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Episode 4

TW: Rape, Sexual Assault and Abuse, Physical abuse.

So uh, I really did just guess "there is no way it's that bad, right?"...

OK, SO LET'S TALK. So again if you haven't seen the episode big Trigger Warning for its content! It's real heavy, explicit and on your face. I'm a Sexual abuse victim talking about this, just so you know.

I think the bigger problem I have with the episode, it's the context surrounding it and what happens later on, specially. Many people can have different views on the poison scene itself, for their own. But that scene, even if you as a victim relate, can only really work in a vacuum. Why? Let's see... hum.... The jokes of male SA in Helluva Boss? How it's written as funny to Moxxie to get assaulted? By the Succubus, Blitz, Chaz? Not seeing any problem in Stolitz, and victim blaming Blitz.

Suddenly Viv wants to be like: "Male sexual assault and abuse it's so not talked about, I'm going to write about it". As if she didn't write all those HB jokes. All those jokes are only men getting assaulted too, by other men or woman. The SA and r-pe it's funny when it's done to men, why did this even happen?

Even if the entire episode 4 was good, why did the same person write all this jokes? Is the sexual harassment Angel does to husk, even going to be addressed later or...? The biggest problem, it's the bad execution. Something happens a lot with HB and HH, it's that scenes and concepts work In isolation, that way you imagine in infinite possibilities of the "what if this". But they give you is in it'self not that good. The series does expect you to be a fan, and have to watch the pilot. Because it doesn't really bother to introduce the characters or anything. So the emotional bits don't hit that hard if you didn't already care about the characters since or before the pilot.

Since the first episodes, Valentino has being changing between fucking idiot and horrifying monster. In episode 2 he is treated as a stupid dumbass. I feel like all the episodes until 4 were too much, on the comedy shit- to immediately jump into explicit abuse and SA is a lot. In the end of the episode they also shift back the tone, weirdly.

So we jump into Val and Angel's work, showing how shitty val is. Charlie jumps into interrupting the hole thing. AND VAL ASSAULTS HER TOO??? I didn't expect that. He grabs her kisses and lick up her arm, and gets too close to her in other scenes. Then Charlie accidentally ruins the set, and Val ends up physically abusing Angel. Living him with a black eye, and it's shown Angel did a deal with him. Leaving him fully trapped with him (not a legal contract, but a devil/sinner bound magic thing). Then it's poison music number.

Many people feel like it's too graphic. Other people will say it's okey, because it shows the problem straight on, and it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.

Explicit doesn't = good.

You can talk a lot of what does this level of graphic/explicit add to the conversation.

My main problem with it being so explicit comes from who is directing that hole part of the episode. I talked about it in the post above. The person in question:

(BLURRED CUT PICTURE)

Does this scene above seem familiar to you? This person put together with how the poison part of the episode is played out AND all the disgusting "SA is funny" jokes HB make this a fucking problem.

AND THEN THE FUCKING ENDING IS CRAZY BAD LIKE HELLO???? At the end, Angel is at a bar, and his drink gets spiked. Husk gets him out and fights against the guys that spiked the drink. Then they kindly have an argument... To get through the whole heavy ass episode- to then Husk hit with a song calling Angel a baby IS FUCKING CRAZY. I see what the point was supposed to be, but the execution absolutely kills it. The song tries to compare Husk and Angel, to say shit sucks but hey it's okay we are in this together, BUT HOLY SHIT. Why, comparing Angel Dust being sexually abused under a demonic contract (HE IS STILL UNDER)- to Husk having to work for Alastor. Yes, Husk fucked up his life in hell do to gambling- that's not comparable to Angel being in an abusive relationship where he gets taken advantaged of. Calling Angel dust a baby loser, "everyone got it difficult get over your self"- it's fucking crazy. The fact that the episode ends on everyone happy and laugh it off it awful! WHAT HAPPEN???????? Like Angel is still under Val's contract- his going to have to go back to work, or to any other place where his drink could be spiked. We are still in the same problem. I don't- I don't understand. The song wasn't even a "I'll help you", it felt more like "Hey shit sucks, get over it". How did you write that? I don't think the series has the time or good enough space to treat the subjects- and they are dealing in the worst way.

EDIT:

I cannot believe this woman made a cum joke, about the song that it's about being trapped with your abuser- that comes with really graphic scenes of assault and r-pe. Like the whole song it's about that???? It's not a "Hot sexy" song, it's literally all sexual assault and workplace abuse.

This scene is from a non canon comic from the same artist above, got immediately referenced in the scene after poison. That's crazy. Also, The artist is... uh......... Did you know that in episode 4. It got showed that Angel's real name is Anthony? They changed their name to Tony, make themselves look like Angel? Now does sex work like Angel. They choreographed the pole dancing in Addict?

AND Viv just reduced Angel's Sexual Harassment of Husk as:

Angel trows himself to Husk, grabs him, touches him, makes unwanted sexual comments. You, have never left the weird shipping of queer of mean that revolts around sexual harassment. It's like old ass garbage Wattpad yaoi, not acknowledging those problems. Why is there more attention to that than Charlie and Vaggie, who lacks so much personality and everything. WLW with no condiments and artificial as fuck MLM with microplastics.

#vivziepop critique #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #tw rape #tw sa #tw abuse

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bonefall · 5 months

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whats your take on the “palebird not caring about talltail leaving” scene? i always thought it was WEIRD, like yes she was a little distant because she was blatantly depressed, but not to the point where she would straight up not care about her first son leaving potentially forever?? it feels like one of those scenes the writers put in to make the The Woman look bad so the Bad Dad isnt aaaasssss bad.

I feel like many of my problems with it come from the end of TR being a mess. It sets up a ton of plot threads and either goes somewhere strange with them or drops them completely.

Palebird's is one of the ones that just gets dropped.

On one hand, I'm glad that Palebird isn't demonized, but they don't seem to know what to do with her. She's cold towards Tallkit and increasingly short and snippy as he gets older, reacts in a way that's pointed out as aloof and uncaring when he leaves and when he comes back, and Talltail takes it like betrayal when she moves on with a new mate... and then they just don't really have a thesis for that.

In the end, Talltail never stops and teases out his feelings on her, they never show a conversation where some characters talk about why she acts that way, Tallkit's upbringing isn't contrasted with his halfsib's upbringings... their last talk is actually about Shrewclaw and the kits his wife's going to give birth to. Talltail's BULLY.

This book that shows an abusive father and a nasty little jackass redeems both of these boys, making a sharp 180 to say they Weren't So Bad, but has barely any interest in Palebird. When she gives Tallstar one of his 9 lives, it's laughably short;

That's it. That's the resolution. She doesn't even act happy to see him return, they have a conversation about Talltail's bully, and then after she's dead he's like, "I'll never doubt she loves me ever again."

Like, ok? All right?? Did we just miss the falling action or did Ms. Hunter not feel like it that day?

In general I have so many feelings about Tallstar's Revenge... I can't say I HATE it because it is fun to read, and I like a lot of the things it lays down, but I can't LOVE it for how every step forward it feel like 2 steps back. And the differences in the narrative's sympathy towards Sandgorse (emotionally abusive and committing child endangerment because his son is disappointing him) vs his wife Palebird (completely unsupported while displaying a near textbook case of PPD) are like a tiny little microcosm of the problems in WC.

Sandgorse gets a whole journey dedicated towards finding out he was actually a hero who gave his life saving Sparrow, abuse forgotten, but Palebird... exists, and Talltail's mad she had new kids until he's suddenly not.

So in a nutshell, my take is that this soup is bland and watery. Look at all these complicated potential feelings they just cast out the window so they can talk about Shrewclaw the Bully and his Very Sad Death.

There's much better individual examples of how the narrative tends to treat their male and female characters (which is why I compare Sparkpelt and Crookedstar more than I compare Crookedstar and Palebird), but Palebird's a good place to talk about the pervasive disinterest that WC has in its girls. And how much of a waste it is.

#Tallstar's Revenge is one of those books that I WANT to like. There's so many things in it that are appealing to me #but they can't bring them together #It's like an itch you can't reach. Scratching it would be so satisfying... but you can't. You can't get it.#In the Wise Words of one of my favorite critics; The discussion of misogyny and bad writing are not NOT related #It's not a CAUSE of the bad writing but it's like this terrible symptom. Because a lot of bad writing comes from thoughtlessness #And when you're thoughtless to interesting potential conflicts or don't really have a conclusion in mind (or at LEAST a vague roadmap)#then you end up just. missing things like this #warrior cats analysis

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itjazzbicch · 5 months

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Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

Pairing: Lee Chaolan x Fem Reader

First time writing for Lee, so I hope I did well!

Summary: Having a crush on Kazuya, his adopted brother, Lee, has always teased the reader for this little crush, but he secretly has a desire and knows that Kazuya isn't the one for the reader...

Requested by: @ambootyos (I hope you enjoy it!)

Warnings: SMUT! (18+ ONLY! MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!) Some swearing, foreplay, oral f!receiving, unprotected sex (wrap it before ya tap it!), pet names (rose, love, baby)

Word Count: 1.8k

"Talk about a great fight, Kaz!" There was one thing no one could deny about Kazuya: that he was a great fighter; teasing and winking at him, "If we cross paths in the tournament, take it easy on me, huh?"

Knowing Kazuya since our school days, he was interesting, to say the least, only smirking at me as he continued his way, flaring his nostrils with a:

"Hmph."

Sometimes, he made me feel so defeated. What did I need to do to get his attention?

"Failed again, huh? You are determined. I'll give you that."

Hearing giggles behind me, I knew it was Lee, who constantly teased me about my little crush on Kazuya since he puzzled the pieces together.

"Don't look so upset, my rose," He chuckled, coming up to wrap an arm around me, teasing yet again, "It's his loss, you know?"

"What do you know, Lee?" Rolling my eyes and crossing my arms, he gained my attention for once with his whisper:

"I know that I hate seeing a lovely woman such as yourself, trying to catch a fish that keeps swimming away from you."

Thinking about how long I tried to connect with Kazuya, he told no lies, but I hated admitting that he was right, unsure of what I was feeling as his words cascaded over me with immense charisma:

"He truly doesn't know what he's missing. If I were Kaz, I would treat you like the queen you are, dear Y/N."

"If you were Kaz, huh?" I giggled, trying to tease him as our gazes met, "Sounds like I'm not the only one with a crush."

"Except I'm not afraid to be a little more direct," He had a charm that couldn't be ignored, my blood rushing at the sexiness in his tone, "If I were him, you would've been my girl a long, long time ago."

"But you're not him," Being direct myself, I was testing to see how straightforward he could be, urging him, "So, are you just leading me on, or are you going to make a move, Lee?"

"I'd never toy with your heart. When I make a move," Smirking and kissing my cheek, I heated up, trying to hide my fluster as he winked, "I go straight for it."

I was quiet, but breathing quickly and heavily, nearly casted into a spell as his eyes glimmered past his platinum hair, offering to me:

"So, what do you say? Keep chasing that boy who doesn't want you or be treated by a man?"

"You talk a big game," I couldn't stop staring at his glistening lips, so many thoughts of him invading my mind. There was no denying that Lee and I had a connection, unlike me and Kazuya, and even though he would tease me sometimes, he knew me better too.

"And I can back it up, baby," Grinning brighter, his hand was so soft against my cheek, making his big move as our lips met, and it felt like fireworks were popping off in my head.

He knew how to be tender and make me want more, chuckling at how I gasped when our lips parted briefly, adding a dart of his tongue before he picked his head up to look me in the eyes:

"So, you still want Kaz now?"

"You cocky little shit," Needing a deep breath and looking around, we were alone in the hall, so I grabbed his hand, ready to lead him to my locker room, and warned, "This is your one chance. You better make the best of it."

"Oh, I will," He smirked confidently, switching our direction and guiding me, "Just follow me, my rose."

Following him to his locker room instead, I couldn't believe how extravagant it was, but then again, it was Lee, after all. He didn't settle for anything that wasn't luxurious. Not like any of it mattered, our feet on the gas pedal once the door shut.

When he wrapped his arms around me, the pent-up emotions deep within began to rise, and the thought never crossed my mind till tonight, but gosh, I couldn't stop kissing him, swimming in those silver blue eyes until I noticed that we were in what was like a bedroom.

"You have a whole bed in here?"

"Yes. Resting is important after combat, you know that," Gently placing me back on the bed, his fingertips started toying with the fabric of my shirt, cocking his eyebrow at me for reassurance, "Now, let's focus on something a little more important?"

"If you can handle all this," I winked, stripping down to my panties with his help, burning up from his hands all over me.

"My god, are you beautiful," He whispered, kissing my neck and working his way down while unclasping my bra, squeezing my breasts while placing soft kisses all over them, licking and sucking my nipple while rubbing the other.

The bliss took over me so quickly that I couldn't hold back all the instincts to moan and squirm, naturally grinding upward and feeling how hard he was.

"See how good it is," He murmured between kisses, leading down my stomach, taking my panties and spreading my legs wide, placing deep kisses along my inner thighs, "To be treated by someone who truly thinks you're beautiful?"

Holding a deep gaze, my head started to fall back, his tongue swirling against my entrance, licking up every drop of my slick before getting more out of me with the way his tongue flicked at my clit, sucking as I whined:

"That's so good!"

"And delicious," He hummed, sending vibrations clear up to my head, rubbing up my sides and up to my breasts, kneading and tweaking my nipples, eating me up like he'd never get the chance again.

"L-Lee," My thighs started to squeeze his head, trapping him in place, and even while buried between my legs, I could tell he was smiling, hands latching to my hips as my mind started reeling, trying to pry my thighs apart for the air, till he pushed them back into place.

"I'm doing just fine," Flicking his tongue rapidly against my clit, I let my thighs suffocate him again, unraveling as he murmured, "Go ahead and cum, baby. All I need is this to make that happen."

My vision was blurring, but I saw how he taunted me with his tongue before going back to licking me up, switching between suckingly kisses before sucking my clit again. It was so hard to breathe, letting my orgasm take me away, my walls clenching around nothing, jaw hanging, and my moans cutting in and out from how mind blown I was, never feeling such a euphoric bliss as I did then:

"Fucccck, Lee!"

"You taste sooo good," Licking up my slick, he was proud to see me so out of it but eased the intense high, rubbing my sides and stomach softly, gently teasing when I finally opened my eyes to find him, "All done, already?"

"I don't think so," Gazing down to his cock fighting against his leather pants, he knew that I wanted it, starting by stripping out of his shirt:

"Anything you want, rose."

I started to feel that outworld-ish feeling, like I was in a dream as he was stripping. How did I never pay attention to how HOT he was? I was so out of it; I didn't realize how I was reaching for him to come closer.

"Touch me. I know you want to," Taking my hand and placing it on his chest, I took in every detail: the softness of his skin, how tone and defined his abs were, going further and further down, "Touch me like you touch nobody, baby."

"Shit-" His cock was so warm and hard in my hand, pumping softly to feel his length and girth, only letting go to enjoy the pleasure of the pink skin meeting between my legs, running his shaft through my folds, both of us moaning:

"Feels so good, already."

"C'mon, Lee," I pouted, wanting him inside me that instant, kissing his thumb as he placed it on my plump lower lip, his tip circling my entrance.

"I can't just ravish you like some beast," He chuckled, coming down to meet me and take in every facial expression I made as he inched his cock into me, walls clenching around his girth instantly. It made the friction so strong, his nibble on my ear sending my nerves wild, "I want to enjoy you, love."

Sharing moans as he began to thrust, I wrapped my arms around his neck, tongues dancing, biting his lip when our hips met, and his cock filled me deep, rocking together and growing the nerve to ask:

"Tell me something, Lee."

"Yes?" Pausing for a moment, I finally asked what I wanted to ask from the moment he first teased me about having a crush:

"How long have you wanted me?"

"A long time," Kissing me harder, he spread my legs a little more, a thrust that flung me upward, making my lips pop free from his and moaning nothing but his name, "But good things come to those who wait."

Since he couldn't kiss with the way I was moaning, he showered every inch of skin he could reach with kisses, raising my leg to push deeper, and I was gripping onto him hard, strong heat coiling in my stomach.

"Yeahh!" I was so full of lust and desire, the part of my mind that held all the truths broke open, praising him, "I'll never want that fool again!"

Referring to Kazuya as a fool boosted his confidence even more, forehead to forehead, as his tip brushed past my sweet spot, having my hand running through his hair and holding tight.

"You have no idea how nice that is to hear," Panting softly, the grin on his face audible, instinctively knowing to open my eyes to find him, "You know I am so much better than him."

"You are, baby!" I wasn't lying; solely focused on him and calling him baby made something take over him, kissing with our tongues till we couldn't breathe, sweat across our temples when we felt the grip I had around his cock, his back tensing at every pulse that waved through my walls, hips arching off the bed as I squelched around him.

"Babyyy-" Thrusting slower and slower, he was shaking and groaning softly, still tensing from the aftershock of my orgasm, watching as he was debating in his mind, not wanting to let the excellent feeling go just yet, "Gosh, the things you do to me, Y/N."

"I'll have to treat you to something nice after this," My chest was heaving as he stopped himself and fought off stronger temptations, head laid between my breast, smiling as I slicked his hair back, kissing his forehead.

"You sweet thing," Picking himself up and leaving me hollow, we both knew this wouldn't be the last time, him being the sweet thing as he kissed my forehead back, "I'll go run us a shower."

2023 © itjazzbicch — do not repost or translate my work. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome.

#tekken #tekken x reader #Tekken x y/n #tekken imagine #tekken smut #tekken oneshot #lee chaolan #lee chaolan x reader #lee chaolan x y/n #lee chaolan imagine #lee chaolan smut #lee chaolan oneshot #request #read and enjoy

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rey-jake-therapist · 22 days

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Nina from Black Swan vs Will from Hannibal

Another parallel no one asked for: Black Swan and Hannibal, or more precisely, Nina and Will.

I rewatched Black Swan yesterday. And wow, it's not because I'm currently in my Fannibal era but the parallels between Nina's story and Will's just jumped straight at my face. They're so (tragically similar).

They both suffer from an illness but don't know it. For Nina, it's likely to be a mental illness that remained undiagnosed and gives her hallucinations when she's under great stress. Also she's prone to self harming, as we see several times during the movie. For Will, it's encephalitis, which under Hannibal's 'treatment' gives him similar symptoms.

They both hate themselves and express it by engaging in a process of self destruction. They're both very good at their job. To do it right, they're forced to dig deep inside themselves and confront themselves to things which existence they denied all their life. Their job slowly but surely destroys them, they know it but they refuse to stop because they believe it's the only thing that gives them a value. What drives Nina is to be 'perfect', an unreachable goal in essence; what drives Will is to save lives thanks to a gift he has, but he can't save everybody. Worse, he can't seem to be able to save himself, his 'gift' turning out to be more of a curse for him.

They both have an authoritarian figure in their life who smothers them and project their past failures on them (the creepy mother who forces her into staying a child while guilting her for being born for Nina, Jack Crawford who watches him destroy himself, and uses him in a goose chase against the Ripper for Will). Both Nina's mother and Jack Crawford treat Nina/Will as, in Hannibal's words, "their finest china, used only for special guests". There's something deeply disturbing in the way Nina's mother keeps disrespecting Nina's boundaries while she's a woman in their 20s, that's not existent with Jack Crawford (though it could be argued that when he insists that Will keeps using his empathy disorder to solve crimes even after Will clearly tells him it harms him, he also disrespects Will's intimacy in a way), but it's about the influence they have on Nina/Will. They also have in commun the fact that they know something's wrong with the person they're supposed to protect, but choose to do nothing about it because it doesn't serve their personal agenda. Nina's mother for example, knows it's not the first time that Nina engages in self harm and yet, the only thing she does is yelling at her and shaming her. Jack Crawford watches Will's mental and physical health get worse and worse, but chooses to ignore the warning signs and to pretend he believes Will when he claims he's 'fine'. When Will expresses his discomfort he's deaf to his distress and proposes him with disdain to quit, knowing that's not what Will wants.

They both have a smoking hot DILF man in their life who pushes them to accept the darkness in them. Both male figures are abusive in a different way (Thomas has no respect for Nina's boundaries, forces her to kiss him and touches her in a very inappropriate way, then humiliates her based on the idea that she's not "fuckable" enough to be the Black Swan; Hannibal manipulates Will through brutal therapy methods), but their goals are similar. Thomas feels that Nina represses a lot of things and wants her to listen to her pulsions so she can be both the White and the Black swan Queen. Hannibal feels that Will secretly enjoys killing and wants him to admit it so he can embrace his true self. Both men are... Bad men lol and they end up doing more harm than good. One could argue that without them neither Nina or Will wouldn't have learnt so much about themselves, but the price to pay came very high: Nina stabs herself during an hallucination and Will jumps off a bridge with Hannibal, to free themselves.

Both Nina and Will suffer from a similar type of hallucinations: they are face to face with a darker version of them, who sometimes takes someone else's face: the dancer Lily for Nina, Gareth Jacob Hobbs for Will. In both cases they're characters for whom they have ambivalent feelings: Nina is extremely attracted to Lily but in her paranoia believes she conspires to steal the role from her, while Will sees Gareth Jacob Hobbs as an horrible murderer but can't help but feel he's becoming one with him. They both hallucinate that a monster lives inside of them and tries to dominate them at some point.

Both Nina and Will discover they're attracted to a person of the same sex while also considering this person as an enemy. Actually in Nina's case I think it's more a case of internalized homophobia, nourished by her abusive mother who always kept her away from the external world and from exploring her sexuality, and probably fed her with fairy tales about a fair noble prince who will take her on his white horse one day. Surely her mother never discussed sexuality matters with her, considering that even though Nina's in her 20s she keeps treating her like a literal child. Where Will considers himself straight, Nina probably never even allowed herself to question her sexuality. When Thomas very rudely asks her if she's a virgin she blatantly lies because she realizes that telling the truth will make her look weird; and I got the feeling in this scene that she was disappointed not to have sex with him that night, not because she had a crush on him, but because she wanted to seem "normal" to him, and for the world in general. But it's very clear she's not attracted to him, or to any other men. The only person she wants is Lily, a woman. And since the idea of being sexually attracted to Lily terrifies her, and also because Lily isn't interested in her that way, it makes very much sense that in her craziness Lily becomes her enemy.

For Will, it's a bit different: the problem with Hannibal isn't so much that he's a man (as I say I think Will considers himself straight by default but I don't think it would stop him from admitting his feelings for Hannibal were the circumstances different), but that he's a serial killer and a cannibal. Will's goal is to save people from killers like Hannibal. That's what drives him and I don't think that it will ever change. So Hannibal is Will's natural enemy, in a way. That's the tragedy of this romance: they can't be without the other but they also can't be together BECAUSE what drives them is completely, utterly different, opposite even. At least that's the significance of the double suicide in The Wrath of the Lambs. They survived and Will has apparently decided to renounce his main goal to co murder and eat Bedelia du Maurier in a season we'll probably never see, but I can't see how doing that could turn good for him. Will will never be like Hannibal imho, no matter how hard he tries :(

And yet I can find another similarity: Lily is everything that Nina wishes she is: free, attractive, with no self put boundaries. I think Will also envies Hannibal to be the way he is, and that a part of him wishes he could become like him. He wants Hannibal to change him, but it goes against his main goal (saving people), hence his internal struggles.

Both Nina and Will choose suicide as their way out, completing their tragic arc. For Nina of course it's a poetic mirror of the Swan Queen's fate; the queen, reduced to stay a swan forever because her lover was seduced by the Black Swan, throws herself off a cliff (!) and finds freedom from her curse in death. Nina, however , kills herself believing she's killing her enemy, the message being of course that the only enemy she's got is herself (doesn't Hannibal tell Will something like that at some point? That he's his worst enemy?). Will kills both his internal enemy, the part of him he can't accept (the Will who enjoys killing and wants to kill again to feel powerful), and Hannibal, the man who's by definition his enemy, but also the man he can't live without because he's the only one who accepts the darkness he has in him.

Finally, both Nina and Will believe they reach their goal when they 'die': Nina's talent for dancing reached perfection in her final performance; Will jumps taking Hannibal with him thinking he's saving the world from Hannibal. Both endings are tragic, because they lie on the same sad conclusion: they couldn't accept themselves enough to live with themselves, so they embarked on a journey of self destruction that lead them to their death, wether it's a physical or metaphysical death we're talking about. Nina may be still alive at the end of Black Swan, and we know Will still is. But what part of them survived the fall?

#nbc hannibal #black swan #nina black swan #will graham #hannibal tv show #hannibal tv series #darren aronofsky #bryan fuller #natalie portman #hugh dancy #hannibal nbc #hannibal meta #Black swan meta #cinematic parallels

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midethefangirl · 3 months

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out of control

tags: bireena, the closest you will get to a love confession, jealousy, one-sided tomas/sareena, jealousy, bi han being a dickhead, actually bi han as a warning tag himself, internal conflict (on sareena's part), spy!sareena, lin kuei!sareena, bi han not knowing how to properly express his emotions, fem!cyrax (her name is bontle in this fic), morning after (more like weeks after), sexual tension (kinda)

summary: (inspired by @ladybug023's spy!sareena headcanons) bi han finds himself strung out after that night at the shack and seeks closure. sareena, on the other hand, has to deal with her feelings for a certain cryomancer and the internal conflict she faces.

part ii of "i'm weak so what is wrong with that". part i can be found here.

word count => 2.5k words

also cross posted on AO3.

Not that he was not always in a bad mood but leaving Zhāofēi’s study room had him in a particular state of mind where he might actually murder anyone who was unfortunate to cross his path.

That was unusual as while most of his morning discussions with his father were marked by their constant disagreement on him taking on the role of grandmaster, this particular one was intense, to say the least.

Ever since coming back from the Tengu, he had noticed how sour his temperament got and he could only pin it on one person and one person only.

How can one woman affect you so greatly?

A huff of annoyance escaped him as he walked down the thankfully empty hallway. It was as if the elder gods had chosen to keep any unsuspecting Lin Kuei initiate out of his way today.

A small unnoticeable smile fell on his face until it dropped once his ears picked up a voice from one of the rooms.

He was so quick to turn his head, in recognition of Tomas’ voice squealing at something like he was a teenage girl. That was soon accompanied by that lilt he had come to missed.

What was she doing with him? Of all people .

He had no time for questions as he followed in the direction. It seemed to be coming from Bontle’s room.

What are they doing in Cyrax’s room? Was the next question that dominated the cryomancer’s mind as that now-familiar emotion reared its ugly head.

Soon, he was close to the room, opting to stay hidden and away from where any of them could see him. He hated how pathetic he looked right now, eavesdropping on a conversation that probably had nothing to do with him.

“-woah, it’s cool, isn’t it?” That was Tomas, his voice tinged with child-like wonder. At that point, Bi Han decided he was going to also observe and there she was.

Sareena .

She had that look he had never seen before - like she was just discovering something she had never seen before.

“What magic is this?” She asked, her fingers going through the holographic image.

“Oh, this?” Bi Han’s head snapped towards the other direction and that was when he noticed Bontle, her elbows on the workbench as she watched the other two admire her new invention.

“Sektor and I have spent years building this prototype,” she continued. “It is not magic by the way.”

A heady chuckle escaped Sareena as she toyed with the control, causing the hologram to rotate.

“This looks like those things I see in those American movies of yours, Tomas.”

What the-? A frown was now etched on the cryomancer’s face. She watches those stupid movies with this fool?!

It was then his treacherous mind took him to a certain dark path. Was she also sleeping with him? Was that why she acted like that night at the shack did not exist?

“Those ones are CGI effects,” Bontle chipped in. “This one here is the real deal. Sektor and I are still working on this, it is just a beta for now.”

“Would Sareena and I be treated to seeing more of your inventions again?” Tomas asked, and it was at this point that Bi Han decided he was making his presence known as he stepped into the room.

It took a few seconds before the three would realize that they had an extra presence in the room with them. Bontle immediately stood up straight, a wide smile plastered on her face as she acknowledged him.

“Bi Han!” The dark-skinned assassin greeted. “We did not expect to have you here. We were just-.”

He seemed to be distracted as his eyes fell on Sareena who carefully placed the holographic projector on the workbench. It was as if she was doing everything within her power to avoid making eye contact with him but it was all a matter of minutes when her eyes finally met his.

His eyes did not miss the way Tomas’ hand was at her back and Bi Han could only clench his fists when his jealousy came slithering in again. He was starting to not appreciate the way the typhokinetic was getting handsy with Sareena. Or the fact that she goes into his room to participate in such foolish drivel .

“Is anything the matter, Bi Han?” The gray ninja just had to open his mouth and worsen his already sour mood.

But, for some reason, his gaze did not waver from Sareena’s, holding eyes contact for as long as possible. Their communication required no words as his eyes said all it needed to send across to her.

“The training grounds at 7.”

He watched as her eyes widened, it started with shock before finally taking the form of latent rage.

“Today was supposed to be my day-off!”

If she was any other Lin Kuei initiate, he would have put her in her place but her defiance sparked something dark within him and he would entertain that for as long as possible if he had to.

“You would defy my commands?” He questioned, his gravelly voice carrying a threatening undertone with it and his eyes watched as she seemed to battle whether to stand her ground or comply. They might have spent a night of passion together but she would not dare do that, right?

In his peripheral vision, Bontle and Tomas exchanged cautious looks between each other. Everything about their exchanged glances screamed worry for his protégée as they observed their interaction silently.

Time seemed to slowly move before Sareena finally made her decision, her shoulders now relaxed but that hardened stare did not leave her face.

“No, Shifu, I would not. I will be there.”

“Is there anything going on between you and Bi Han?” Tomas had asked once he was sure the cryomancer was out of earshot.

“I was about to ask the same,” Bontle had asked. “I could have cut through that tension with a knife.”

If only they knew…

She was not the one to kiss and tell, not in the Netherrealm and especially not here. She preferred to keep her escapades to herself, they were personal, after all.

However, she had not expected Bi Han to be the one who would want to talk about it. Why else had he asked her to be at their usual training room at a time where everyone was supposed to wind down at the common area?

Here she was, with Tomas by her side as they walked down the stony pavement to where the training grounds stood at. The 6’5 tall Czech had her arm linked to his, holding her and Sareena could not help but wonder how things would have gone if she reciprocated his feelings instead.

He was a genuine gentleman and had been among the first to welcome her into the Lin Kuei, even going as far as inviting her to sit with him and the rest of the group during her first week.

Even after telling him that she did not feel the same way about him, he remained her friend. And right now, she appreciated his presence - it kept her grounded for the time being as the thought of being alone with Bi Han had her feeling jittery.

It just had to be cliche that she found herself pining after the cryomancer. Like those classic American movies, the good girl pining after the bad boy .

Who was she kidding? Maybe she and Bi Han shared more similarities than she gave herself credit for. She was no good girl, considering the reason why she was in this clan in the first place.

How would they feel when the truth comes out? When they finally find out that I am a spy and a demon? That I lied to them?

Ever since that night at the shack, those thoughts grew more frequent. She had fallen in too deep and now she was scrambling her way to get out of this mess. She had to find a way to extend this lie for as long as possible, even if it meant groveling before Quan Chi-.

“Sareena.”

She felt herself snap out of her reverie, her eyes meeting the dark brown hardwood door. Tomas stood by her side, a reassuring smile on his face.

“I guess this is where I leave, right?” His hand reached to scratch lightly at the back of his neck. His eyes seemed to read that he was reluctant to leave her with Bi Han all alone and for good reasons.

Every interaction between the two assassins felt like walking around eggshells, one single misstep and things would go down to the Netherrealm.

“Yeah, thank you, Tomas,” she said softly, prompting him to leave, yet, he lingered. “I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Letting out a sigh, she nodded in the affirmative.

“I will see you tomorrow at breakfast then,” he replied, his body turning in the opposite direction and she watched as his figure grew smaller in the distance.

Now facing the door, Sareena’s heart rate accelerated as her hand reached forward for the knob. She hesitated midway, eying the knob when the door opened suddenly and a hand reached out, pulling her into the room.

She yelped and winced the moment her back met the wall. She was definitely leaving this place with a terrible bruise on her back and she had only one person to blame for that.

This asshole-.

“Took you long enough.”

A low growl erupted from the back of her throat as she pushed against him, “What the fuck, Bi Han?!”

He did not budge, his body holding her against the wall and it had her wondering for a moment: how long had he been within these four walls waiting patiently for Tomas to leave her alone so that he could manhandle her?

The way he has been doing these past two-going-on-three years?

She hated his stealth and all that came with it and she could already sense a lecture from him on how she should always be on alert.

“Why was he here with you?”

The hell-?!

“I owe you no explanation, Bi Han,” she replied, her eyes blazing with fury. He had quite the audacity bringing her out here and tossing her like she was a little rag doll. This was one of the many times she cursed the limitations of her human disguise.

If she was in her demonic form, she would not be the only one leaving this room with a bruising back.

She could already see the moment the cryomancer’s features morphed into that familiar emotion which manifested each time he had his authority challenged.

His eyes darkened and his grip on her tightened, an obvious sign that he was doing everything in his power to restrain himself.

Yet, it was not enough to stop his next words which came spilling.

“Are you fucking him too?” His accusation revealing his jealousy. “Is that why you act as if that night never existed? You’re fucking Tomas?”

Her eyes widened in realization, it became more obvious why he called her here. He wanted closure.

The urge to laugh at the ridicule of this situation was almost overpowering. If only he knew…

But, watching the cryomancer lose control was the entertainment in itself and what were demons known for? Mischief and she could only indulge in her nature for the time being.

Her eyes held that mirth and she could see how it affected him, his brows furrowed as his eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched.

“Jealous, are we, Sub Zero?” her voice held a playful tone mixed with a tinge of the need to push as many buttons of his as possible.

He might be the future grandmaster of the Lin Kuei but she held all the control in her hands.

“What the fuck are you playing at, Sareena?” His voice was now a dangerous whisper and her heart raced at the way he said her name.

She was definitely playing with fire.

“I don’t know, Bi Han. You are the one who is almost losing it, so you tell me,” she shot back at him, holding his gaze. “We slept together for one night and you act like we’re suddenly exclusive.”

“What if I do not want that night to be a one-time thing? What if I want us to be exclusive?”

His admission had her heart skipping a beat, it had her momentarily stunned as her lips parted slightly, her mouth now dry.

It was his turn to look away, a faint blush adorning his cheeks, his eyes avoiding hers as he let go of her, stepping away, a frown now etched on his face.

Her fingers came to touch her arms where he had gripped her earlier, her eyes observing the man standing a few feet away from her.

Was that his way of telling her that he liked her?

“Bi Han-,” her voice was now soft but he turned away from her.

A groan of frustration escaped him, “I cannot stop thinking about that night, Sareena. I have done everything to forget about it and yet-.”

His confession was left hanging in the air and her heart was racing in her chest. The tension in the room had shifted to something else, the air was electric and her breathing became labored.

What was this?

Bi Han snorted again as he paced before turning back to her. His cold hands cupped her cheeks and Sareena felt herself shiver slightly.

“What enchantment have you used on me?” His voice was a rough whisper and she could only shake her head.

How could she answer that question when she had no idea?

The next thing she felt were his lips on hers, gentle and tentative. It took a moment before he pulled away, his forehead now against hers.

“I- I do not know why I feel this way yet I would give everything up if it meant being with you.”

At that, Sareena’s eyes flew open to gaze at Bi Han and it was no joke at all. Knowing the kind of man he was, this was probably the closest to a love confession he would make and it unsettled her.

She was going to break his heart once he found out the truth. Quan Chi might not have shown up yet but she knew it was a matter of time.

She shook her head, pulling away from his embrace.

“Don’t- don’t do that because of me, Bi Han. I- I am not worth all that,” she tried to tell him, her eyes avoiding his.

"That is not going to change my mind,” he said with an air of finality.

Sareena could only let out a humorless laugh, she was not going to change his mind at this rate. She nodded.

Maybe she could keep up with this for as long as she could. She could try to buy more time and confess the truth to Bi Han. In this moment, she could not let him know the truth. No matter how badly she wanted him to. Maybe another time.

I am not really satisfied with how the ending came to be but I hope it is good to your liking. also, Bi Han may be a bit ooc but hear me out, he would not be the type to outrightly express his feelings and shit like that. and yeah, I added a one-sided Tomas/Sareena bit cause why not? that being said, constructive criticism is always welcome.

tagging: @livingdeadgirly

#sareena #bi han #bireena #bi han x sareena #don't like don't read #that tag was specifically for antis who would happen to stumble across this #anyway here is the promised second part

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darklinaforever · 3 months

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Nah i have so many arguments on why Alicent is 1000 times better than Rhaenyra, but are you mad cause im stating straight up facts? Emma is ugly. They look like a man lmao it's just awkward 😭 the photoshoot with Olivia was like beauty and beasts, two men and a gorgeous redhead woman.

Rhaenyra is hypocrite weak ass and useless just like her father. Only good to cry, spread legs and giving birth. That's what your so called “rightful heir” did the whole season. I hate Daemon too, but i enjoyed when he choked her out, it was actually good scene. I would have done much worse to her. I hope he will in the next seasons, and the leaks is saying he's treating her like shit. Sounds good to me, are you ready to cry Daemyras? 🤪 Ryan is coming to destroy you all 😂

It's funny, because Alicent only expression throughout the series is watery-eyed... (We can literally make compilations about this ! ) But Rhaenyra is the one who's only good for crying ? Good joke.

Rhaenyra is a hypocrite ? It's funny, it seemed to me that it was Alicent who was hypocritical throughout the show ! Are you sure you didn't swap roles ? (Or simply being a hypocrite yourself, in addition to being stupid perhaps...)

I don't know which is more disgusting. Your comments on the physique of Emma D'arcy who is non-binary.

(Also, no what you're saying is not a fact, beauty is something purely subjective, and many find Emma D'arcy magnificent whether you like it or not. In fact I totally imagine that this reality makes you enrage. Oh. And I'm not sure Olivia Cooke, the Alicent actress herself, would appreciate this kind of gratuitous nastiness towards one of his friends... In any case, from the moment you decide to attack the actor because you don't like the character that this actor plays, you have a real problem in your head)

Or the fact that you enjoyed a scene of abuse against a female character, while hoping that she would suffer even more. (My god, what is wrong with you ?!)

Also... the deep misogyny you must be feeling !

Because I guess when you talk about spreading your legs, you're talking about Rhaenyra having to deal with her own sexuality, like it's some kind of shame ? Once again pathetic.

How long will Rhaenyra be blamed for having a sex life as if it were some kind of crime exactly ? (Again, hello misogyny)

I also want to say that Alicent also had children during the series. So she must have given birth at some point on her own, even if we didn't see her. The fact is that she also had children throughout season 1. So I don't really understand this criticism about giving birth / having children to Rhaenyra specifically... (While Rhaenyra must literally producing heirs, it's one of her obligations. Plus it's logical that we see her give birth since obviously having children is something that scared her at the start of the season ! Especially since we sees her having only 2 births out of 6, what's going on...) another proof of misogyny I guess ? Even Laena and Aemma have been pregnant and had childbirth. So frankly, apart from a gratuitous misogynistic remark, I don't see what you mean. Even in Fire and Blood the births of children are listed for several female characters ! So...why specifically blame Rhaenyra for having children/giving birth ? My god, this is so ridiculous...

You are truly a disgusting person.

Also, who really has nothing to do but come and annoy people. Once again, you're pathetic, except this is on an even more critical level than I thought.

And we call Rhaenyra the rightful heir because... well that's what she is ? She was designated by her father the king as heir to the throne, so that is what she is. Quite simply. A reality that you apparently have difficulty integrating. (Also, in Fire and Blood, Rhaenyra actively learned to be a future queen... And from what we saw in episode 6, she seems to have politically logical thoughts at the council table facing a Alicent poor in arguments)

I also would like to know what Aegon II, the son of Alicent whom she absolutely wants to place on the throne, did apart from harassing his own brother, twiddling his thumbs, drinking, raping women and forcing his illegitimate children to fight in an arena ? Does Alicent's son seem more worthy than Rhaenyra ? I do not think so. At least Rhaenyra learned her duties as heir. (As she says in episode 10 to Lucerys)

And I don't care what the show does. It has its own canon and is essentially fanfiction. The series is not the book. And as long as the book exists, I don't care what happens to this show. They are not the characters in Fire and Blood and never will be.

Your precious little Alicent from HOTD is just the massacre of the real Alicent Hightower who would be ashamed of this ridiculous counterpart that you all defend like crazy.

Alicent and Greens stans leave this in my inbox.

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aroapl · 10 months

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hello! first off, this ask is not at all meant to be antagonistic and i am genuinely coming from a place of wanting to understand. i've always been extremely for "people can be and identify as whatever they want, so long as they're not hurting anyone". what i'm struggling with is that last bit and the way that i am seeing some people using the aplatonic or loveless labels.

i am both aro- and ace spec myself, so i definitely understand not having emotions or attraction in the way that a lot of people feel that you should. and while i am pretty high empathy myself, i'm also friends with people who have low or no empathy and have no trouble understanding that that's just another way of existing and doesn't mean that you can't have compassion for people or treat people decently. my best friend has no empathy and is incredibly supportive and caring.

i also totally get when i see people iding as loveless because the way that our society (especially western society) uses the word "love" is so weird and definitely not universally relatable. completely understandable.

i've seen many people identify being aplatonic as meaning "idk i just don't really Connect with people in the way that i see most people talk about, if my friends all moved away, i wouldn't really be bothered" okay, cool. i don't Get it, but just seems to be a different experience.

where i'm really struggling is not to condemn or get angry at people who i straight up see saying "i'm loveless meaning i don't care about other human beings and if any number of people just died right in front of me i wouldn't care. if i saw someone in trouble needing my help i'd walk right past them. i hate humans". i haven't seen a TON of people express this, but i've seen enough to where i feel like they can't all be trolls, and i'm not sure how to respond.

i've also seen a lot, like definitely the vast majority of people i see pop up on my dash who id themselves as aplatonic, say that they feel horribly lonely and disconnected and just Can't make friends...therefore they must be aplatonic, and they should stop trying and be "naturally" isolated. a lot of these people also mention having past trauma, and a lot of them seem to be young teenagers.

now. i am of the opinion that identifying yourself "incorrectly"--eg, a young trans woman identifying as ace before she figures out she's trans because she has no interest in sex as someone who's seen as a man--isn't ever really harmful. not having sex with anyone isn't going to hurt you. briefly deciding you're a lesbian isn't going to hurt you if you're actually a trans man.

but these teenagers i see iding as aplatonic because they're unable to make connections with people but want to really worries me. if you don't have any close friends or even casual friends and are totally happy with that and id as aplatonic, that makes sense and seems perfectly fine to me. but i just can't make "i id this way because i'm miserable" mesh with my worldview, nor can i make "i id this way because i hate everyone" mesh either.

in the past when i've brought this up to people with the loveless able specifically, it's incited threats of violence, doxxing, and a lot of ableism, which tbh did the opposite of convincing me it was a harmless label.

do you have any thoughts on this?

(Little preface to say I consulted a server with a lot of apls and loveless folks in it to get a second opinion on how to respond to this. So, some of this is entirely my own thoughts and some is paraphrased from another loveless apl. This person did not want to be credited/named.)

I’m gonna start with my main thought on all these points, which is this: there are always going to be some people that identify with a label for the “wrong” reasons, and there are always going to be some assholes and some people you fundamentally don’t agree with in every label/community. None of these things ever make it okay to try and get rid of or police a label, to take it away from the people that genuinely find community, joy, and self acceptance in it.

A lot of what you’re saying here is quite frankly just classic aphobia, the same stuff a lot of people say/think about aros and aces just directed at apls and loveless people. There are plenty of aros that desperately wish they could like romance and have romantic relationships, and there are aphobes that think these aros are just mentally ill and that the aro label should be done away with to “save” them. There are some violently sex negative aces out there, and there are aphobes who think they speak for the whole community and that the ace label should be done away with because of it. There are people that mistakenly identify as ace and/or aro because they’re struggling with other things, and some of them isolate themselves because of it in ways that genuinely do harm them, and there are people that think ace and aro are inherently harmful labels because of this.

Whether they truly are aplatonic or just falling back on the aplatonic label because of other struggles, some aplatonic people genuinely wishing they could make/keep friends and feeling lonely doesn’t mean that the aplatonic label as a whole is a problem. Like I said, people misidentifying in ways that do actually harm them in some way is something that can happen with any label. Also, trying to make someone drop a label that doesn’t actually fit them and force them to face the problem that led them to it before they’re ready to is rarely helpful. A lot of people in this situation would at best feel disrespected and upset, and at worst double down on their misidentification or have a serious mental health spiral over being made to face a problem they aren't ready to face. People wrongly IDing as aplatonic might find understanding and resources in our community that help them heal, they might be miserable the whole time they ID as apl and eventually move on and get help afterward, or they might learn and heal in other ways or go on to struggle for a very long time. Either way, it’s not the job of outsiders to decide someone is identifying with a label for the wrong reasons and make them let it go.

(Also, a side note on this point. While aplatonic is currently primarily defined and used similarly to other aspec labels, there have been several other definitions that differ quite a lot. One of these definitions defines it as struggling to make or maintain friendships due to neurodivergence, or just generally struggling with friendship. Some people do still use this definition. Some of these people you’re talking about may be using this definition.)

Now on to lovelessness. Some of what you’re saying here gets into ableism, particularly towards people with personality disorders. Some people with personality disorders genuinely just aren’t capable of caring about strangers like that, or people in general. Some often aren’t capable of going out of their way to help people, or struggle a lot with it. That doesn’t make them bad. People can’t control how they feel. As long as they aren’t hurting anyone, people can feel or think whatever they want. Thought crime isn’t real.

Now, if someone is actually hurting people and using the loveless label as an excuse, that’s obviously not okay. The thing about that though is that taking the loveless label away from them won’t make them stop hurting people. They will just find another excuse, or stop bothering with having an excuse. An asshole is still going to be an asshole no matter what label or excuse they attach to it. On top of that, some people within an identity/community being bad people doesn't make it okay to vilify everyone that shares that label or get rid of that label/community.

I’m genuinely very sorry some people have been ableist and violent towards you, that is never okay. I do need you to know though that despite what may have been good intentions, this does come off as aplphobic, loveless antagonistic, and a bit ableist. That can rightfully inspire anger and defensiveness in people with these identities, especially since many of us are already used to having our identities antagonized, disrespected, and demonized. Since you’re aroace-spec, imagine how you would feel if someone came to you and expressed these exact same sentiments, but towards ace and aro identities instead. Imagine how you’d feel if some came to you doubting that ace and aro identities should be allowed to exist because they’d encountered some aces and aros that were mean or unhappy in their identify.

At the end of the day, not everyone is going to share your worldview, and that’s fine. You don’t have to understand them or like them, or even get along with them, but they have a right to exist as they are even if you don’t agree with them or like it. If they aren’t hurting you, simply move on and focus your time and energy on the people and communities you do like and understand.

#aplatonic #loveless #loveless aro #apl #aplphobia #loveless antagonism #arophobia mention #acephobia mention #ableism mention

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opinated-user · 4 months

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Lily dismissing rape allegations because the victim is someone she hates is … fucking gross

like for example I fucking hate Nekoshadows I think she’s a lying coward after she was exposed for keeping quite about someone being in contact with a known child predator…. But even with all that I still felt bad for her when it came to light how fucking terribly her boyfriend treated her especially when he admitted he never actually loved her

like I think Neko’s isn’t a good person but I still think what she went through was awful and she didn’t deserve it

so if I can believe that someone is a victim despite also believing them to be a scumbag that kept quiet about a predator… where the fuck does Lily get off not believing a victim of rape simply because she doesn’t like them like what the fuck

hell another example: I do not like Omnia and think she’s a pretty bad person … but I also believe her claims that her Ex partner Xzae abused her

you can dislike someone or hate someone .. and still believe that they’ve been abused or raped

it isn’t mutually exclusive you don’t have to like a victim personally to believe they are a victim

like this is the same shit that fucking coyote lovely got on blast for when he pretty much admitted to stopping helping a victim because he hated her like this is the exact same fucking thing

between Courtney and Sunny, LO really just told to every survivor ever "if you ever said anything against me, then your abuse deserves to be erased and i'll defend your abuser, just to spite you", which isn't just gross... that's just straight up evil.

just to make a comparison, Courtney has no reason at all to give LO any grace or compassion. yet he fully believes and understand that LO's claims of have suffered CSA are valid, only after looking at her past behavior and consider it with the knowledge of a fully grown adult. even after everything LO has lie about him and try to pin down on his name, Courtney still hasn't even attempted to say that LO never suffered any abuse in the past. that's all LO. LO is the one who wants to claim that Courtney never went through anything, at anyone's hand, ever, at no point of his entire life. according to LO, Courtney ran away from home simply "chasing a guy", no because the house was abusive and suffocating for him in part because of her presence there. Courtney had a CSA trauma response by replicating it on another kid, no because he suffered CSA at anyone's hand, but because he is just that evil. nothing that Courtney ever does or did is ever a response to trauma because he never suffered any. that's the narrative that LO wants her audience to believe in. even the abuse that had nothing to do with LO and it was cameron's fault, that doesn't get to be called out either. Sunny right now doesn't deserved to be believe in. his abuser doesn't deserved to be called out for, not even warned about. in fact, the abuser will get treated as a mere victim who is injustly mistreated by the evil community who evilly harassed the not evil "native" trans woman (who never talked with anyone from the Nation outside of one funeral and never again). all because they stopped being the yes man of LO. i'm not being hyperbolic at all when i say that this is inhumane. i know that LO doesn't have any moral, principles and she'll always, always, prefer to look for herself alone before anything else. but it can't be forgotten that LO is just a terrible person, a dangerous person, who not only perpetrates harm herself against vulnerable people, but will enable other predators to do the same. the only people i feel sorry to are the vulnerable people on her audience that still don't know there's a target on their back.

#lily orchard

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davekat-sucks · 4 months

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If there's one thing i don't like about this fandom it's how much they make the kids more meaner? Villainizing? Than they actually are. Don't get me wrong, they have done a lot of bad but like these characters are FRIENDS. They do genuinely care about eachother in the end they aren't cold hearted and revel in other's suffering, they aren't Caliborn or Vriska afterall. I think they read the comic wrong, the kids were willing to sacrifice their own lives for eachother, a prime example of this was Daves conversation with doomed Rose. I blame the spaceship meteor part of the story for ruining the characters. Like everyone acted so ooc? Why were Jade and Davesprite giving John such a hard time about his dad die dying? Both of them literally had to watch their guardians die in front of them, you'd think they'd be the most sympathetic here? Or how Dave and Karkat, characters who will go through lengths to protect their friends just fucking stand there as everyone else tears themselves or eachother apart? Karkat is an ass yes but this was the same guy who was crying his heart out when he saw Solluxs dead body when in game or how he told Aradia bot that he would've tried to get her back to life if it weren't for other circumstances. Why was everyone being so uncaring at this part? It didn't feel right. The alpha kids got it the WORST, from bad writing to fandom treatment. I remember back in the day seeing stuff where Dirk was just down right mean to Jane "hahaha sucks to be you Jake is mine fat bitch". There was even a little bit of this aggressiveness in House of Dirk, now i do find that story fun but the small part where he calls Jane "xenophobic", bothered me. Like he would NOT say that to her. Have you seen how he speaks to her? "If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all. Let me know. Just say the word." Same guy who built a robot to protect her life and pretty much wrote an entire book for her, i think Dirk cares about Jane guys. This fandom and comic is so mean to Jane, as funny as i thought it was that Caliborn called her a fat fucking pig and cow, she really just became a punching box at that point. They'll shit on her because she's a woman getting in the way of the gay men. The ONLY thing people get from her as a character is that she's fat, because Caliborn said so along with a bunch of other things. Jake, poor Jake, gets sexualized by everyone he knows and had to burn his Grandmothers body right in front of him. But according to fans HE'S the asshole here because he cant communicate properly. Gee i wonder why. Roxy gets put on a fucking pedestal by the comic and fans, super extra special treatment. Ignore how she sexually harasses Dirk or almost killed Jane, no she's incapable of doing wrong, isn't that right Calliope? Yes, Roxy should be the new leader AND kill the Condescension yes. Now i never finished reading the epilogues because why would i? I'm probably missing a lot if we're taking them into consideration but not taking it into consideration because my point still stands because thats how the fandom treated them even before those came out. And even when talking about the base comic i still see those attitudes.

These characters DO have their personal problems but when people talk about they insert angst where it doesn't exist for favor of projection and i hate how common its become.

If people claim it is just cynicism that comes with growing up, there's clearly a difference between being cynicism, nihilism, and being a straight up asshole. If people say it is Dave and Karkat's depression is the reason why they stand around doing nothing as Rose becomes alcoholic and Terezi gets abused by Gamzee, it's sure strange they got over their depression right as VRISKA comes in to solve everything and those two bastards act like nothing had happened. Everything by Act 6 and Post Retcon just made all the characters worse. They have become an empty shell of who they used to be. The bleak outlook has become a theme for current Homestuck. It's been like this for Epilogues and Homestuck^2 too. I don't know if James Roach and HICU can really save the franchise and get out of all the characters having this negative light. Andrew Hussie and WhatPumpkin has shoved this jaded feeling right in the audience's faces that it's become the norm to expect the worse. Readers expect characters being assholes and more depression, they will receive it because Hussie and WhatPumpkin made it so.

#Homestuck #Homestuck fandom #Post Retcon #Act 6 #Andrew Hussie #WhatPumpkin #What Pumpkin #WP #James Roach #HICU #Homestuck Independent Creative Union #Homestuck Epilogues #Homestuck2 #HS2 #Homestuck^2 #Homestuck 2 #HS^2 #Homestuck Beyond Canon

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waywardstarfishkid · 17 days

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Outragiously long and stupid rant incoming!

I like never make posts on here but I wanted to scream into the void about heartbreak high. Since s1 I've seen like really strange takes and half the time I'm like is it because people don't know how Australian school is different or is it a lack of critical thinking.

Like in s1 I only saw people either hating or loving spider and don't get me wrong either of those is valid but the way people were explaining it was strange to me.

For me I didn't like spider but not because he was some unrepeatable arsehole I actually think he was a great representation of a lot of Australian guys I knew growing up. Like he says dumb shit but then when things are serious he does the right thing like he helped malakai with the cop (then said fucking stupid things after) and he helped amerie at the festival, he wanted to help harper and let her in even though it would mean he and American would have to stop hooking up.

In comparison I swore people liking dusty who in my eyes was way worse than spider. He acted all woke like he said the right things and then did shitty things like shaming harper and deciding to frame jojo.

Like theyrr both shit but I would trust spider with my drink over but maybe not dusty.

Then ant I understand if you like ant and spider together but I think people maybe don't understand how touchy guys are with each other in Australia. Like gay straight bi whatever guy friends hang off each other and I think it's actually healthy to show that. I also saw someone complaining about spider and ant doing gay shit but only as a joke but I never saw that like I don't think any of it was a joke it just wasn't gay. Like spider calling him pet names them cuddling and stuff is just affection which is actually great especially for men who often don't know how to have affection that's not sexual.

Also can we agree that ant just doesn't care about the gender he's hooking up with like I don't think he's bi I think he's just into who he's into (is that pansexual? Sorry).

I was a bit disappointed with all the bisexual characters ending up in straight relationships but that's mostly because I really wanted an ant malakai and I liked Rowan Malaysia before it went to shit. But at the same time I dont like how people critiquing it often feels like Bi erasure. Like I'm a bi woman whos first gay relationship ended because my gf (lesbian) cheated on me with a lesbian because she constantly thought I was cheating on her with my guy friends and for a long time I just dated guys because I didnt know many bi women and lesbian girls kept being horrified that I would go near a dick (not all of them my ex was very understanding and actually encouraged me to embrace my sexualising when I was just a baby bi) but my point is I totally understand how having a straight relationship when bi can actually be more understanding (at least in mine and my friends experiences) and it's totally valid even though the relationship is straight.

Also people angry about not as much quinni (I agree more quinni she and cash are my loves) I'm actually happy they took a back-seat with her on the relationship front like her and Sasha were a big deal/quinnis first relationship and I think it wouldve really messed quinni up with how it ended. I also love that they're not just centring her storyline around being the gay girl you know like she I a multifaceted queen.

Also for the Sasha redemption, I get why people are calling for it but unlike spider and dusty like Sasha didn't really do anything wrong (except for how she treated quinni but they talked at the end of s1 and seem to be moving to a place of good friendahip) shes mostly just annoying and pretentious like the other idiots actually fuvked up. I don't really want a Sasha redemption I just want to see more of her character make her a bit less of a two dimensional hipster, which I honestly think they only didn't fo because they had a lot of characters to juggled Sasha had to take a back-seat so Missy could shine (and I love Missy so I'll allow it also her and malakais friendship means everything to me the indigenous representation that shows not just the aspects of country and family but also shows them as fully formed characters I LOVE)

Sorry for the obscenely long rant this is just all my thoughts from s1 and s2 so ignore it by all means and also if you disagree that's fine and you are probably right lol.

#heartbreak high #spider #ant #heartbreak high s2 #forgive my spelling #and my opinions

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sarcasticlcves · 1 year

Text

Dating The Wwe Women Includes

Part 2

A/n~ this is strictly fem x fem

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aliyah:

The sweet couple

Her convincing you to go out and party with her and her friends

Her being clingy af

You loving her sweet innocent personality

Both of you being awkward around other couples

So much pda it makes your colleagues sick of you both

Becky Lynch:

OVERPROTECTIVE BITCH I REAPEAT OVERPROTECTIVE BITCH

Gets jealous very easily

Has a hand around your waist AT ALL TIMES

Pda to a certain extent

Sweet cuddly bby

Does not allow anyone to touch you except her

You being great friends with Charlotte and Becky despising your guys friendship

Candice Lerae:

When candice turned heel it was because of you

You told her that she would never accomplish anything if she did it "the right way"

That caused candice to realize she loved you

You do anything this sweet little bby asks of you

She loves tucking her head under your chin it makes her feel safe

You helping her dye her hair

Working out together

Helping each other win matches

Chelsea Green:

Let's get one thing straight this woman is controlling as hell

Will make you do anything she asks

You technically are forced to worship the ground this woman walks on

Your forced to hold her hand in public at all times

Help her win matches even though you don't want to

All your colleagues pitying you

A/n~ no hate to chelsea I'm just basing this off her wwe gimmick, and to me this is the vibe she gives off as a lover

Emma:

Her being more of a friend than lover

Emma being distant because of how she's being treated at wwe

You trying to help her but she's pushing you away

Only sign of affection is her laying her head on your chest when she's stressed

Her mainly only keeping you around for sex and emotional support

Fallon Henley:

This girl may act tough but in reality she's such a softie

You helping her in her family's bar

Taking up for her when she ruins brooks and Kiana's valentines day

When Kiana and Fallon won the tag titles you were the one who told her Kiana cheated

Fallon trying to protect you but in reality your the one protecting her

Sweet and soft embraces from both of you

Gigi Dolin:

When she left the indies for wwe you were her number 1 supporter through all of it

You not being a big fan of Gigi and Darby allin's former marriage

No pda she likes being in private

Doesn't really show her love for you in public, but is a sweetheart behind closed doors

You being her voice of reason

Her being by your side 24/7 but not in a clingy way

Iyo Sky:

You being very nervous when she goes on the top rope to do her finisher

Being close friends with Kairi and Asuka

Taking trips to Japan frequently

You making fun of her semi short height

Kissing or hugging before the other one leaves a room

You've known each other since the indies

Cuddles every night

This girl may look weak but she strong af and will hold you against your own will

Jacy Jayne:

Your a face and she's a heel so she has to attack you a lot of times, especially when your number one contender for Mandy's title

No pda for obvious reasons

Gigi supporting your guys relationship

Her moving in with you without Mandy knowing

Very affectionate bby

Liv Morgan:

You both being former members of the riott squad

Her depending on you more than anyone

Being her number one fan

After she wins matches you take her out to the bar to celebrate

She has trust issues from past relationships so you take it slow with her

Liv being the sweetest person you've ever met

Her hanging off you 24/7 but you secretly love it

Part 3 coming soon my loves!❤

#aliyah x reader #wwe aliyah x reader #becky lynch x reader #candice lerae x reader #chelsea green x reader #emma x reader #wwe emma x reader #fallon henley x reader #gigi dolin x reader #iyo sky x reader #io shirai x reader #jacy jayne x reader #liv morgan x reader

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bonefall · 8 months

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What irritates me so much about the Leafpool and the three situation is: it's Starclan's fault. It never had to happen in cannon. Squirrelflight isn't barren. If the Erin's wanted drama, they could have made the three Ashfur's, and had Squirrel pretend they're Bramble's. I'm glad in BB you made her barren, but it still just irritates me. Leafpool got done so dirty. If I was in her paws, and after Bramble had me forcibly step down, I'd ask someone to honor sire (maybe from a different clan?) kits for me then look Bramble straight in the eye as I started showing.

It's one in a long list of "retcons that happened to reduce the agency of characters because the warrior fandom will otherwise find any reason to fucking hate women." I don't believe that Po3 was written with the revelation of Leafpool's Wish in mind.

(leafpool's wish is where the "barren/StarClan telling Squilf to take the kids" Thing comes from)

In fact, most books that come out seem to completely forget the detail. Squirrelflight's Hope doesn't mention it. Bramblestar's Storm totally omitted it. Squirrelflight is never pissed that StarClan literally lied to her.

So it makes it really feel like a less egregious version of Spottedleaf's Heart; a poorly thought-out addition specifically aimed at the fandom misogynists who write screeds about how Brambleclaw/Thistleclaw Were Good Actually and their shitty behavior was just a Bad Woman Who Wronged The Poor Babies.

AND to be clear what I'm getting at with this comparison is that both these books are awful, because they're cowardly. They don't stick to their guns and say, "BLUESTAR AND SQUIRRELFLIGHT WERE RIGHT TO MISTRUST THESE MEN BASED ON THE REASONS THEY HAD." They badly retcon in EXTRA reasons for them to come to the conclusions they did.

They concede to the fandom misogynist. Their existence agrees that the original reasons they had were weak, so the writers shoveled in extra horseshit to make them "more correct" to do what they did.

"Don't worry guys, it's not that Squirrelflight took her sister's children to protect everyone involved, and that she's right to mistrust her mate who trained in HELL and never revealed any of his own secrets until his shitty half-brother killed her dad once. Nope! God lied to her and told her to. Told her she was barren, even. Now Squilf can remain morally pure while Brambleclaw abuses the shit out of her. Soblem Prolved."

So like... I don't even think that they should have been Ashfur's. This worked perfectly fine as it was in Po3. Just commit, assholes. Bramblestar's an untrustworthy piece of shit. Condemn him for turning on his children, confirming every terrible suspicion Squirrelflight had. Point out that the Three get treated differently when the secret comes out. Ask what, exactly, Leafpool could have done differently and have people have different opinions on this.

but like. keep squirrelflight being barren :/ Please let women just be unable to have kids sometimes. Please.

#bone babble #tw spottedleaf's heart #warrior cats analysis

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eriexplosion · 3 months

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Replacements time, I didn't need my heart anyway.

The way that Wrecker was fully going to take Omega's food rations, I get it I am also not thinking when I'm hungry. But this combined with his line in Pabu about being full for the first time, they were just NEVER provided enough rations to adequately fuel Wrecker, not even before they had to puzzle through buying them themselves. The kaminoans had to know his calorie intake needs okay and they simply opted NOT to fill them. Justice and a nine course meal for Wrecker.

"It's not affecting life support. We're fine!" Tech is going to come back with like a dozen injuries he simply didn't deal with yet because he was technically able to function with them, so it's basically the same as being healthy.

I do love Echo's grouchy REPAIRS WOULD GO FASTER IF I HAD SOME HELP, but the feels punch of seeing them bickering in the pilot and copilot seats and then flashing forward mentally to Echo gazing sadly at the empty chair. I'm hurting my OWN FEELINGS.

I FEEL LIKE IT WOULD BE REASONABLE TO STRAP GONKY IN? DO YOU WANT A FIFTY SOME POUND (MINIMUM) DROID SLIDING AROUND FREELY IN A CRASH SITUATION?

Another Wrecker head bonk, no wonder his chip activated it's been under percussive maintenance this whole time.

CROSSHAIR WEAPONS KIT MOMENT. Which they have just been steadfastly ignoring because it hurt their feelings to think about it.

Further evidence they simply haven't been thinking about it: Echo like THEY CAN DO THAT? when Tech reminds them that the chip can influence behaviors. Yeah what did you think they did, Echo, just provided a tiny little nudge? But I think it's just very hard to fully grasp the scope of something like that. Yes almost every single clone is under the control of an inhibitor chip, yes it's strong enough to make you turn on your own squad, yes that's in ALL of their heads right now, just not functioning properly.

I just love Wrecker not giving that much of a shit about being shot. That hurt, but he still misses Crosshair.

Anyway this squad contains pure concentrated avoidance juice, if they just don't think about it then Crosshair didn't betray them.

Rampart and Tarkin together creating a solid layer of slime all over the room. I just hate them watching him through a one way mirror talking about him like an interesting object. (Though I do like the moment where he stares at them straight through his own reflection, he knows he's being watched the whole time)

They literally do not address him once and he looks so unimpressed just looking between them like he's waiting for anyone to notice he's there.

Tech looking at giant clawmarks in the siding: well those weren't there when we landed. Treat something like an emergency challenge, impossible.

"I'm part of this squad now too, right?" *Tech and Echo look at Hunter, they're NOT taking a stance on this* Assigned dad by committee

"I'm angry at myself. We don't leave our own behind." "Then we'll find a way to get him back. Somehow." AND THIS IS WHY THEY ALL NEED TO BE TOGETHER, THIS IS WHAT THE SHOW DESPERATELY WANTS US TO WANT, THE TEAM IS NOT COMPLETE UNTIL IT'S ALL OF THEM.

I might have paused just before the start of the attack on Gerrera's camp for an inordinately long time but it's just a genuinely distressing scene.

Does contain a GREAT transition back to Hunter & Omega though.

"See it?" Well Hunter it's both flashing AND beeping, so yeah I think Omega sees it.

The way that Hunter straight up would have died out here if Omega hadn't gone with him okay, just would not have come back. (Omega is going to continue to be the key to making sure everyone survives I think.)

Back to Onderon for more highly uncomfortable war crime scenes. Truly I don't think that the show that has Crosshair shoot a woman at point blank range would have many reservations showing us Tech's body. (Yes I'm going to be like this the whole time I'm SORRY)

But ohhhh my god I need Onderon to come back somehow. I need it to become relevant. I think a lot of the time people do want to pass over it because it's horrific and like it's not one of the several things Crosshair does wrong of his own free will. But it's also still something that he remembers doing, all of it, and I think it's pretty key to why he eventually tries to stay with the Empire. What do you do when you've done something so horrific, when maybe you've been told it wasn't your choice and it wasn't your fault but you still remember giving the order, you remember every sight and sound and smell, and you remember at the time it made so much sense to do it. You can even remember the reasoning you came up with to ease the way. What do you do when you've done something so bad that you think that the only way forward is with the people that forced it onto you in the first place?

Anyway fucked up that they gave that one soldier a flamethrower just so we know completely that those civilians were burned alive, that's great.

Back to Hunter thinking he has had this child for a day and a half and has already lost her on a deserted rock somewhere.

"Soldiers know the risks of battle" what about the risks of Crosshair because like Crosshair is the cause of 100% of his squad's fatalities through this season.

Crosshair in the cleaned out quarters with all of the doodles and marks still on the bunks, going to his own and everything that made it his has been cleared out of it. They even took his walls of boxes. Just completely alone in their old room with nothing but the reality of what he did. I wonder if guilt comes easier when they're not in battle.

AND JUST THE CONTRAST WITH THE ABSOLUTE SWEETNESS OF OMEGA GETTING HER OWN ROOM ON THE MARAUDER. MAKING A BEAUTIFUL AND WARM PLACE FOR HER THAT STANDS OUT FROM EVERYTHING ELSE.

SERIOUSLY MY HEART.

HER PRECIOUS FACE <3 God I do love this episode even though it wounds me in places.

#the bad batch rewatch

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detransraichu · 5 months

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why did i think i was trans? how did i delude myself? it's complicated.

hiya. i'm a butch lesbian woman who was confused since i was 12 year old ish and thought i was transgender -- mostly nonbinary though with some periods where i thought i was a trans guy -- up until 2022. many factors played in that whole mess that went on in my brain and my life. i'm going to be putting it ic because it's ridiculously long :') but feel free to reply etc. i hope stories like mine can make people feel less alone in these experiences and maybe help pain like mine be prevented. i want trans people to be respected while also doing what is best for society and women's rights too.

anyway. here's my story.

to preface, my feelings about transness in general -- i do love many trans people, i saw all the good parts their community has. i still think i do believe in gender dysphoria and sometimes surgeries/hrt being required to help people be safe and happy, but i think alternate routes need to be explored and we need to push for people to unpack their internalized misogyny and homophobia BEFORE they label themselves. the mix of LGB and TQ has created a lot of infighting. with homosexuality it's behavior-driven, attraction-driven, but with being trans it's an identity thing and a disconnect in the brain, it pushes you to change your body or presentation in some way, or ask others to alter how they naturally would treat you with different terms or pronouns. i think there will be more and more detransition stories like mine, the numbers will grow bigger and bigger unless something urgently happens. bc the trans community does NOT or at least VERY RARELY tells someone to slow down the questioning of their gender identity, they do NOT ever question anything, they don't look for internalized sexism in how people describe their gender, they don't do the work to unpack that stuff in their community. and that's just straight up dangerous.

so yeah. how did i get here? honestly i think part of why i thought i was trans was bc i wanted to fit in and i saw the gender euphoria in other ppl and was like wow i want a feeling like that. and honestly in my personal case it was just me having fun doing drag and lowkey cosplaying as male characters i was obsessed with in media. and my DID added to it too bc i would sometimes dissociate and feel that part of me was male or genderless and that's not bc those parts of me were trans that's bc they are a manifestation of my traumas!!! on top of my eating disorder, dysmorphia and psychosis. i really wish ppl i talked to as a teen on tumblr hadn't jumped to "omg you hate your body? you wish you were a boy under patriarchy? you have suuuch trans vibes bestie you'll make the perfect lil softboy uwu" bc then i was extremely lonely at school and at home and just felt soooo excited at the attention i felt happy to fit in, and honestly even my "dysphoria" after that was that i looked like other trans ppl and i thought they were the coolest, i just felt deep admiration. and then i'd show pics online and ppl would hype me up just bc i identified as trans. so then it snowballed into me feeling terrified to go out bc i was scared i'd get misgendered since i was visibly afab and all my friends were trans and very toxic sjw stereotype so i saw cis people as toxic and untrustworthy and i got to write angsty posts about it that got somewhat popular which i loved bc i'm a writer and i loved to fantasize and imagine a sense of justice alongside other warriors... not unlike how i felt joining into the trans community. when deep down i knew i was being the annoying little sister trying to gain older kids's approval and trailing behind lol. the first trans person i met online was this awesome trans guy who did photography and he was a good bit older and i just wanted to look like him so bad so that he would like me. he ended up ghosting me. but i was still obsessed w him so i looked up trans stuff and fell in head first without even a questioning phase :/ which is 100% on me of course! i was just a very impulsive kid and the trans ppl around me lived in this big colorful world full of identities and drama and unconditional support... but i do wish someone had slowed me down and showed me alternate paths, the path of just being gnc.

i was also like. okay i know i'm queer but idk how, but i want to be in this community bc i'm so lonely (as a baby dyke). so i looked at the most opposite identity ever and gay trans man was the furthest away i could go from myself & my gay attraction & my body & my female masculinity. i was constantly dissociated, constantly. i was living in my yaoi fantasies lol like the "perfect" romance bc it wasn't hetero stuff which had scary power dynamics, and it also wasn't lesbian bc that hit too close to home and i'd start to have panic attacks. so i avoided those, tho sometimes i'd read fanfics w a side lesbian relationship.... but pretended to hate them and not care at all. that was actually part of me accepting my attraction to women, like moving slowly over to lesbian ships in fanfics and finally seeing what it would be like. it felt too good. so then i repressed it again or only showed my lesbian attraction when flirting with men online lol. bc of course there needed to be a voyeur, otherwise it's too real and gross and bad. tfw trauma and internalized lesbophobia.

but yeah anyway me obsessing over yaoi really made me think of boys very fondly -- always boys, never men -- and feel this deep warm happy feeling in my stomach. thinking of two boys together was total equality bc there was no woman involved, so no misogyny or weird "too real" feelings. if it had a woman i'd eventually have a total freakout bc i would keep pretending i was the guy in that scenario, which was BAD bc it made me sound like a DYKE. and boys had an actual personality (bc there very few genuine complex female characters at the time so they were all dumb or mean or bland) and they could do sooo much more than girls could so they were Better somehow. but of course if u say boys are better you're a misogynist, so i wanted to BE a boy so i could talk about how much i loved boys. and i loved boys bc i admired them. i wished i could be a "more male" version of a girl. i wanted to embody maleness so that i could create myself a better girlhood. and not even call it girlhood, so it was even cooler. i didn't want to be like the other girls, who were all loser straight boy crazy bullies. or even if there were cool girls with me, they would just annoy me (bc i was always depressed and exhausted from mental illness and untreated disabilities and it made me irritable). so yeah. boys were it. specifically boys bc men sounded almost triggering from my misogyny trauma. like men are the kind that hurt you. but boys are soft and sweet and special and harmless. they're the right kind of male person. the good ones. and they have such vivid relationships with one another and are such complex beings, unlike girls. and now that i'm a boy i'm gonna be the boy with the best morals and no toxic masculinity whatsoever, just a soft little uwu bean with a soft beautiful very typically girly flat chest, like an afab person before puberty, and no facial hair of course except for maybe a slightly lower voice and less fat (i thought it was good riddance at the time bc i was anorexic lol so that just reinforced it). i had this perfect image of myself. but it was always wavering, so i would never feel fully secure in my gender identity but i also couldn't lose my grip and question that i'm not nonbinary/trans bc then i'll have to accept that i'm an afab lesbian with a boring ass female gender. and i would have to disappoint everybody, and worst of all make them look bad for detransitioning.

but yeah.... i actually am feeling less bad abt just being a bland woman. like i don't need to be special, i can blend in and people won't hurt me bc i'm a loser like in highschool. normality and domesticity are blissful actually, like i'm Just A Girl and i'm basic af or whatever. but there's other boring, gnc girls, and they're cool but they're also in the highschool situation of being "not the kind of girl that gets asked out and family is kinda broke and not noticeably pretty and has failing grades and untreated disorders so therefore an even bigger loser." so yeah i wanted to be different. to be noticed and thought about, and go against the grain. ie, cishet normative things. usually secretly, but then at some point i came out to my family and they got transphobic but also just said gross things to me that made it so that even if i had been wobbly on my identity i now didn't trust them to talk about it so i just repressed feelings and held onto a trans identity even harder. but then i started thinking of girls a LOT and envying lesbian women. who didn't have to worry about gender stuff, and also got to be gay in a way that... suddenly i noticed could be cool too. i had never allowed myself to notice it. but then i did. and i freaked out bc i was dating someone who wasn't a woman kgdkjgk and it felt transphobic af so i just resolved myself that i MUST be trans.

i was deep in the closet lesbian-wise and my brain tricked itself bc i just wasn't ready to accept being a lesbian. i just wasn't. i've only become ready this year!! and that's around the time that my ex broke up w me (or well we both came to the conclusion that i'm a lesbian so being w them would be wrong, and that it turns out they're only into men/enbies). and then i tried to be nonbinary again bc i wanted to get back w them so bad but then i realized it just wasn't me, and i started getting comfy w gay womanhood. and i came to terms with being a single butch lesbian!!! i'm so much better now that i'm radically accepting myself. it was a LOOONG stressful upsetting journey bc i wasn't being myself. but now i am being myself. and i'm clumsy af and kinda dumb and SUUUUPER inexperienced as both a girl loving girls and also just an adult woman in general. like being an adult woman is HARD and idk what i'm doing and i'm barely scraping by and i'm so behind everyone else. but now i gotta deal with it, actually deal with my issues :/ no more internalized lesbophobia & misogyny!! society often defeminizes girls like me and takes womanhood away from marginalized women but no!!! i'm still a woman. i'm weird but i'm just a weird woman and that's fine. some girls are freaks and weirdos and something different but not the differences that were considered "cool" on leftist tumblr as whichever community is most oppressed and has the most funky flags and ultra-microlabels. and i'm sorry to say, it's embarrassing as hell. but i did fetishize transness. i did think of trans people as unironically cooler than regular non-bigoted close-minded cis people, more interesting, better morality, cooler, smarter, etc. and i wanted to make friends and trans/enby online communities were super vibrant in fandom spaces that i was in. so yup. there it is. i'm a trans faker actually, though i was super out of it during it all, i wasn't doing it consciously. i just was ignoring my true identity, being a butch lesbian woman. it's so sad that i felt the need to repress myself like this, it breaks my own heart to think about it. but i did repress myself. i was soooo cruel to myself and was bigoted towards myself. but never again. never again!!! nope sir!!!

another thing -- i think i also used having a trans/nonbinary identity as a way to have an excuse to go no-contact with my abusive family. i was told they were bigots for being vaguely supportive but confused about trans stuff and struggling with the vocabulary and sudden identity discourse, asking embarrassing questions (that i had no answers for bc i wasn’t actually trans but ofc real trans people would) when i told them i was a boy so i get to use that as a reason not to talk to them. bc otherwise they just would never leave me alone. at least that’s how i rationalized it lol. so yeah. here i am. a complete doofus, with very little bit of stubble coming out of my chin that i have to shave daily. and a slightly transmasc-typical voice. i completely blew it, i repressed being a lesbian soooo deeply even though my family wasn't even that homophobic, all things considered, so i definitely could've lived as my true self. i was just ashamed and stubborn and believed all the things in the media and from homophobes. and thought ppl would be scared of me bc the only other lesbian in school was a creep. idk. it's all so embarrassing. but there ya go.

#lay text #my journey #detrans #detransition #radfem #gender critical #ok to rb

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eegasleega-will-change-this-l8r · 7 months

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So I assume most fans who've gone down the MOTHER rabbithole have read the M3 interview thing (lots of cool and fun stuff if you haven't read it before!!)

Fassad gets brought up a couple times, but not toooo much

But as you can guess, I'm totally obsessed with what there is about him

So first off to set the tone, here's a song that apparently inspired part of his character :3

So this song is about (at least as far as I understand, only the first two lines are translated and I don't know Japanese XP) a woman whose cruel, I assume abusive lover has been sent to jail, and how she can only see him as kind and good

I could no longer see you, and for the first time, I knew love deeper than the ocean. Everyone says he's bad, but to me he was always a good person

These lines are what Itoi specifically says he had in mind when he came up with Fassad and the mouse and I just think that's a really interesting tone to imagine his character with Like how well did Fassad really treat the mouse? Like, the way I'm reading the song (the two lines of it that i know) is that she's remembering her lover as better than he really was - she can't see him anymore, and now she loves him better than she ever did before I think it's pretty easy to imagine that Fassad kept some of his crueler tendencies with the mouse (not nearly to the point of his treatment of, say, Salsa, but), but she remembers him for the nicer things he did for her (the mouse isn't gendered in the game or the interview but with the context of the song it just feels right to me, yknow?)

Gotta bring up Fassad and Salsa, too I've heard someone else bring this up and Itoi actually talks about it in the interview, but like The way you, the player, get to perceive Fassad through Salsa is really interesting Right off the bat, you probably hate him He's cruel and tortures a pair of monkeys for his own amusement But Salsa is too weak to really stand a chance against the enemies you face on his own To survive, you basically HAVE to rely on Fassad choosing to step in and help you So you have this abusive, awful guy that hurts you whenever you're around him, but you're also completely dependent on him Which is a really interestingly complicated relationship to have with him

Okay here's the big thing from the interview that informs so much of my view of Fassad's character

Fassad doesn't really understand the pain of others, you know?

That's it That single line is just So interesting to me It's not that he doesn't care He doesn't even UNDERSTAND There's no purposeful suppression of any feelings of empathy or compassion. He straight up lacks it in its entirety. To me, Fassad's worldview revolves entirely around its relation to himself. He sees everything through a very simple lens: "This will help me" "This will not help me" The first group he will throttle as much use he possibly can until it falls into the second group, which is useless and something that can be thrown away or ignored. He likes bananas. He will eat a banana to satisfy his craving for one. After that, he just tosses the peel on the ground and thinks no more about it. Whether something is helping him willingly, through being compelled, or being forced to against their will is something Fassad lends no thought whatsoever to. The Pigmasks do what they're told when he screams at them. Salsa does what Fassad says because rebelling brings physical pain. Claus has had his control over his own autonomy completely removed. The fact that all these people hate him is something that Fassad never bothered to consider.

And this egocentric selfishness is what leads to his downfall. I talked about how I like to think that Fassad's "death" in the fall of the Thunder Tower was Claus's doing in another post. The idea that his torture of Claus could bring potential consequences is something that Fassad never realized. After his reconstruction and repeated failures, he ends up tossed away, alone and pathetic, because he's lost his status and everyone that was previously obedient has no need to listen to him anymore.

On the other hand, you have someone Fassad was obsessed with: his best friend, the only person who gave him the praise and power he desired, King Porky Minch himself. Porky was absolutely terrible for Fassad. Enabling all his worst traits, pulling him further down the path to evil. I think Fassad and Porky are very similar in a lot of ways. In the interview, Itoi talks about how there's a distinction between good and evil, justice and injustice, heaven and hell, etc. People fall around the middle, where there's fun and games that aren't super orderly in the good sense, but nobody gets hurt. But the line's very blurry, and Itoi talks about how it was hard to know what exactly was too far over the line as a kid. (sidenote, it's really really interesting how often Itoi connects himself with Porky)

When I was young, there were a lot of times when I would be scolded for doing things that I'd done just for fun, because the teacher had seen it as naughty. And I thought, "Huh? The line is drawn…there?"

I think this is important for understanding both Porky and Fassad (and hoo boy am i gonna talk about it a LOT whenever i talk about Porky). Porky was in a terrible environment to learn about right and wrong. His parents were terrible examples, and anything he did that seemed totally harmless would be "bad" that he'd have to be punished for. His perspective would be totally skewed, and he wouldn't learn about how what really matters is how his actions affect others. If he lived a normal, un-Giygas-influenced life, and without Ness to be there for him and ground him with an alternate perspective, I think Fassad is what he'd grow up into. Resentful, selfish, unable to understand the pain of others. However. Fassad doesn't meet Porky when he's comparable to himself, he meets Porky at the end of a ?????-year long spiral into absolute, inhuman evil. Porky acts like a mentor and a seemingly benevolent friend, but really... it's just Fassad with a banana. Once Porky's squeezed all the use he can out of him, Fassad learns what it's like to be discarded.

So Fassad really ends up in a miserable place. He hates himself, realizing finally that he's driven away everyone. He's alone, pathetic, broken, left to die in the sewers. It's a very harsh lesson, even if he probably deserved it. I do feel kinda bad for him.

But to end off with, there's one more relationship he had that I need to talk about.

The Magi

His "sisters" you could say.

The game doesn't give us much on their relationship with Locria, but goddd it's so interesting to speculate about. They're the people he would've been closest to, and we KNOW they cared about him, since they mention him repeatedly and are concerned about what might've happened to him (it's so sad to me that they all disappear without ever finding out). I think it was complicated. I've talked about how I see Fassad as someone who resented his place in the world, and I think his selfishness plays into that. He wanted the respect and attention of everyone and everything around him, and their love didn't live up to that. He felt isolated and uncared for, so he dropped them and went to live on his own with his mouse.

But I'm sure he also missed them at the end. They're the only people - aside from the mouse, who I'm sure he also misses - who never hated him. Even though he hasn't thought about them for the last few years, I think he'd know that they never stopped caring about him. He'd finally realize what he had, and that he'd just thrown it all away in his greed and selfishness.

Hm...

You know what'd fit really well for this, actually?

I could no longer see you, and for the first time, I knew love deeper than the ocean.

#earthbound #mother 3 #mother series #fassad #locria #emilyart #emilyramblings #i originally drew BOTH of his hands backward in that pic and had to fix them ugh #he's absentmindedly tugging her tail #even to her he's not considerate of how she feels

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