#but yknow its a learning curve

[somethingsomethingcomic]

beware my wine rants

#hi im back and experimenting #ive had the gnarliest art block for the past like month and a half sorry! i made this to try to break out of it #for more context this happened on the night we got drunk and watched spiderman 2 (2004) and i looked up the soundtrack afterwards #and fell down a rabbithole bc switchfoot is on it #my dad used to listen to contemporary christian radio (probably still does) so i heard a lot of the more popular Christian hits of the 2000s #also christian stations will play what the fuck ever sometimes if a song can be read in even a little bit of a christian way #idk how christian the fray is (ig they did make 'you found me' but.) but ive heard 'how to save a life' on christian stations #and theres plenty of like. really lowkey christian bands. like switchfoot! and relient k! #most ppl alive in the 00s have probably heard 'dare you to move' just in nature. and christian stations loved that one #newsboys is on that spectrum somewhere i think. they did 'belly of the whale' for the Jonah a veggietales movie #and the dvd bonus features include the music video for that plus the video for 'a million pieces' which doesnt feel overtly christian to me #anyway! i hope everyone likes this vertical format! and the coloring. im still trying to adjust my style for that part #when csp says 'brightness' it does not nean 'color value' which is an issue for my new method #but yknow its a learning curve #furry #queer artist #smth smth #queer comics #trans artist

[lavenoon]

Some more custom emojis. Yes the chicken doesn't match the vibe idc <3

Please like/ reblog if you use, otherwise credit appreciated but not necessary

#post let luce #my art #my emojis #figure i could use a tag for that #its wonderful to be like. “id like this as an emoji. wait im an artist” #still ofc learning curve to make things look recognizeable tiny but yknow #friend asks if anyone has a rubber chicken emoji? dont have one but can make <3 #theres so many more i made too its so funnnn #custom emoji #custom emote #discord emoji #discord emote

[lonelyquail]

hi I'm back from the arcade. this wasn't there this time but I wanted to let u guys know of the fucking. Omen that I experienced on a recent time I went.

haunting.

#vee shut up #btw arcade was fun! #the popn machine does this thing where if u do well on the easy mode itll give you a bonus song bumped up to normal mode #and i appreciate that its a good way to dip my toes in #BUT ALSO THE EASY TO NORMAL CURVE IN POPN IS ROUGH #so its kind of just. me screaming. #also the groove coaster cabinet there had a lot of songs i knew which i wasnt expecting!! i did learn a valuable lesson though #just because you know the song doesnt mean you should play it #i dont know any of these damn songs names but... i forgot how fast the Fucking Vocaloid Song With The Phone Ringtone Yknow The One was

[kevindavidday]

literally cannot stop thinking about the foxes growing up to be helpful adults especially the monsters because like with the upperclassmen and even with nicky its slightly more expected as compared to the twinyards, kevin and neil

not by my own definition but by the perception people have of them in canon - the selfish, hotheaded or largely indifferent to everyone except their own affairs type of people

but aaron chose to become a doctor and i think of him seeing mothers give up their kids at birth and of people constantly loving and losing and how possible it is for him to be known as a kind doctor - someone who would sit with a man who lost his wife or a mother who's lost her child, someone who would do coffee runs for his colleagues and give flowers to recovering patients (and maybe katelyn bought them the first time but he could repeat the gesture, yknow? he's got a good learning curve)

im thinking of kevin making sure that a portion of his hefty income goes to actual genuine charities and for work against human trafficking and child abuse because what's he going to do with this much money? particularly after amalia is born he would be so much more careful if he ever sees kids or teenagers in parking lots and senses some imminent danger

not just that but kevin keeping an eye out for his fans or any signing events he has where he sees something unfair happen and steps in or asks security to step in immediately i feel like for him its still difficult to put himself on the forefront of a threatening situation unlike andreil but he does his best to try and to listen to the kids that come and rant to him about exy to entertain them with his genuine smiles

idk just the idea of the monsters being so very human and recognizing humanity in others is something that can be so personal

#the more i see the 'andreil moved in and got two cats they're living the life' type of posts its making me think #about how the monsters all did eventually settle down #life did not end when they were teenagers they made it out of that hellish period to a timeline where they #have responsibility over themselves their actions can make an impact and in small subtle ways they can see that #they know how much it would have mattered if someone had been there with them during their tough times #they know better than anyone how insane it is to have someone help u it feels smthn like how neil does whenever the foxes are kind to him #and why would he reserve that to himself? they didn't know him and their kindness knew no bounds how could he not pay it forward? #they would make wymack proud #aftg #tfc #kevin day #aaron minyard #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil #kevaaron

[circuscountdowns]

Hi! Wanted to start off by saying that I LOVE your cotl art its such a huge inspiration to me :D! I recently picked up drawing again and I've unfortunately been upset? envious?! of others' skills and just wanted to ask if you ever experienced this as a fellow artist and if so how do you not do that lol. Sorry for the weird question. I just thought some insight and advice from a fellow artist could helo. BUT I hope you still have a nice day and look forward to any more cotl art or anything you draw really :D!!! (also is okay if you don't answer it is a loaded question I just be in a silly goofy mood lately okay bye!)

oh wow being on the receiving end of a question like this is surreal, I’m honored my work inspires you! Thank u, you’re sweet, it’s not a loaded question at all! Here’s my long reply sorry

so unfortunately that comparing yourself to others thing doesn’t go away ever asdfgjkl. I suffer it every day, it sucks, feels bad. I’ve had industry people tell me they feel this way and they’ll have some of the most gorgeous visdev/boards/animation I’ve ever seen. Disheartening to hear, But! I’m a big believer that comparing your artworks with others is best used as a tool and not a punishment to yourself!

When looking at art you like, try to turn thoughts of, “Man I wish my stuff looked like that, my shit sucks,” to, “What is it that I like about this piece? The line art? The perspective?” Sometimes I’ll see work with thin line art and I’ll get an itch, and I’ll draw something with thin line art. It’s a conscious effort of keepin emotion out of that itch, keeping it as, “I saw art with thin lines, I want to do that. Yay I did that!” Compartmentalize it, the itch was simply to do thin line work, not to remake the piece you were inspired by. And you got a piece of art out of it, and a single piece is progress no matter how small!

If you want to compare, do it methodically! Why does my work look different (never use the words better or worse)! Oh, I see my piece doesn’t follow the rule of thirds, so the framing is different, I’ll be aware of that next time if it bothers me. Or, Oh I see they shade by hatching along with the form, I’ve just been going horizontally, I’ll try that other way!

it’s a learning curve of training yourself, like all corrective behavior.

like, I kinda have the warning feeling of dread when I’m about to compare my work with something, so before the self-deprecating thought can even start I have to think What do I Like about this?

I’m no expert at it, though. Actually getting myself to think this way is a struggle, but I find when I make Thoughtful Observations I level up. Not by a lot most times, but yknow.

and this part is just my personal experience:

Fanart and the internet can be the biggest Art skill killer sometimes. Get offline and cater to the audience that Really matters to your passion: You! I improved the most by spending 2-3 years doing doodles/comics/models for my dnd campaign ocs because I was that obsessed and I simply wanted to have it for me!

and after all that, then there’s the hardest skill of just accepting your work as is.

like, to me, my work is just scribbles. I see other artists’ stuff and go “Man they’re so good at comics and colors, man, why can’t I color?” But do I need to??? I don’t like coloring, do I need to be good at it? This isn’t a career, this is supposed to be fun! I scribble because I like it! I’m glad this persons good at coloring, I don’t need to be! Yay!

if I Want to be good at it, I’ll take the steps to get there! But if not, my scribbles are just fine :) I love black and white and values

I’ve been having that one on repeat for a while. It helps

(acceptance and denial go hand in hand btw lol they sound the same)

I wish there was a little off button for envy, but ah well! I hope that you take comfort in knowing we are all feeling it, and find joy in even the smallest little doodle you make! Have fun stay goofy!

#I wrote this in part so it might be a rambly mess. #I have a difficult relationship with art after 5 years of college for it. Cotl has been helping me find ways to love art again. #ty for liking my work!

[kozykricket]

every time someone mentions celeste or i watch someone play celeste or i play celeste i am just reminded of how much of a masterpiece the game is. like... i just. every little bit of it is perfect, from the major stuff like yknow, music, character writing, and wonderful pixel art, the great level design (!!! really great !!!) to the smaller things like sound effects/jingles... visual effects like squishysquishy madeline.. and like, the whole "mountain as a metaphor for stresses and anxiety" i dont think can ever be captured in as perfect of a way as celeste does it (long post, i figured this needs a Keep Reading?)

like, i feel like not only does the music set the tone and mood alongside the writing, but the level design works in tandem with it so well too. the absolute atmosphere of reflections always catches me off guard, like... confession: i still can't really relate to the identity aspects of it, though i can very clearly see them in celeste. but as someone who has experienced a lot of anxiety in life, i can relate so heavily to it all, and... just, the way the music sets the tone, especially in places like chapter 2, 3, 5, 6, and 7. (and of COURSE 9 but i could make a separate post on ch9) why not ch4? well, i think 4 is just a nice solid break after the intensity of chapter 3, which is refreshing. it stands out, but in a nice way. i really, really find that the game can just. bring out FEELINGS in me more than any other game can. i mean okay, games can make me sad, or put a smile on my face, but theres more... complex feelings, that i can barely put words to, that i feel from the music, like after you've just fallen in reflections. the ... hopelessness, almost despair, with a touch of ominousness, and... questioning, almost, of if anything was worth it. the hopefulness of the summit climb music, the uncomfortable feeling of the mirror temple music when you're in the mirror that feels like the musical equivalent of bugs crawling all over you, slowly turning into just. lost, quiet, helplessness and like. god. im not a masterful musical-analysis-person but. i FEEL like its fair to say that the entirety of the farewell ost really feels like its telling a story, one of... so many different emotions, which is so fitting, considering how complex the feeling of saying farewell can be. i. genuinely cant put to words the way that tracks like reflections and most of farewell make me feel, because singular emotions dont seem to be fitting descriptions. and i feel like no gimmick in levels ever stays for too long without introducing a new one or new combination of gimmicks. its a game where i CAN indeed be proud of my death count, knowing that it means im learning, because. death isnt frustrating and.... playing mods, ive realized even more about how unique the level design can be... some levels are more about understanding rooms and doing things in the correct order, some are about precision, and yet... it feels like the best levels... are somehow designed in a way that even the most complex rooms can just. guide you through them, like you're doing a duet with the level itself, as objects fall into place for later, etc. (midnight monsoon from strawberry jam is a good example) theres just so much greatness in celeste i know i spent like half the post on the music, but i could also spend that much time talking about how perfect the level design and difficulty curve is. the game feels like it naturally teaches you how to get better at it, without ever getting too frustrating. im not saying there isnt spikes in the difficulty the first time through, but ill say those spikes feel like they make sense, and they... well, the game does good at training you and then putting you to the test. it does well at teaching you without saying much. at most, a crow will say "press x to dash here!"

and honestly? i still feel like im hitting post too early here. i... love the game so much, and i cant put it into super coherent words. i feel like i. can never truly capture how much i love it. some games just do that to you. maybe i can capture how much i love it, but not... how much of a masterpiece it is. like yes, okay, i love it, but. its also... so much more than just a Good Game. I... think I'll hit post. maybe one day, ill write my thoughts on the game in a more coherent fashion, but. i think i get my message across here :P (it makes me almost kinda. frustrated. when i cant fully get whats on my mind down in words. like i KNOW theres more... that i cant quite pull outta my brain rn)

#celeste #jake ramblings

[literalite]

asks

these r all the asks i got last night about the whole aesthetic discussion i'll answer in order of when i got them :p

truth b told if i started simblr like. today and knew nothing about photoshop then i'd probably be pretty demoralised too but also thats exactly how it was starting simblr anyway i just worked on it until i was happy w my skills... no one gave me a cheat code i just put time and effort into it

i agree with u im ngl like i do sincerely wish everyone had the opportunity to put hours and hours of their lives into learning how everything about this works if thats what they truly wanted. also if anything doing it solely by urself will make the process all the more time consuming but if u ask around for help people (including me! im down to help fr) will usually give it to u and that'll speed up the process more. being mad at me for having that is pointless what am i gna do go back in time and unlearn it all and for what? dsfghjk

okay i did see this being said a lot and uhhhh i was trying to understand it but like. i also don't. like ok with cluttered aesthetic build shots or yknow the odd landscape with heavy bloom shader on it i guess if ur looking at it completely from that pov yeah i guess it looks like some posts that "blow up" r just sort of the same shit. but the fact remains that its also it's good shit like anyone can clutter a room and take a photo of it what really counts here in my opinion anyhow is shot composition. and there's literally preestablished rules for this sort of thing u can google cinematography basics and get it for free... there's a whole field of study looking into what draws the human eye. like maybe the core concepts behind what makes a popular post popular is the same but thats because it just works. if u wanna shy away from that entirely but then complain about ur posts not being as popular then that's very much a u problem it doesn't have anything to do with the rest of us

amen these are my ocs wdym these are "sims" LOLLL these are the real people living in my head if i bust my ass making them look good then thats a choice i made

u can call this an empathy problem and try explain it to me more but i dont see how other people feeling insecure about what their current ability scales up to is any fault of mine or my problem to bend backwards to try fix... or even how i could. like is the standard high now yeah honestly it is. the learning curve was steep as hell when i first started as well. no disagreements here. but what am i supposed to do about it LMAO like i didn't create the human proclivity to be drawn to beauty i just ride off of it.

idk why i'm the bad guy for being honest for my reasoning behind what i do and don't reblog? lots of other people have been saying they dont really care about aesthetics which is great but if i said that i'd literally just be lying to you. i'm not gonna apologise for not lying... i like being able to see the passion and energy poured into the same video game we're all playing it's only natural to appreciate that- if that reads as passive aggression and u don't understand my stance that's fine by me

i would say for me personally try watch visual media that u can recognise as "beautiful" and not to shit on like. cw shows but i mean stuff that is marked by its cinematography being truly excellent. and just really examine how those set and lighting designers use angles and lighting and how the people filming and editing choose to frame their shots to achieve what works. hell looking at art helps with this too. look at other people's stuff on simblr analytically try to seriously work out why it appeals to people the way it does. ik u asked for editing tips but i think it really starts ingame you can have the most incredible editing style but it doesn't work if ur shot comp doesn't work then it'll won't hit as hard

take time to learn what most of the adjustment layers do on photoshop, and what all the blending layers look like, download other people's psds and play with them on top of ur shots to see what works! what u personally think looks good will be different from what i personally think looks good, i like dramatic lighting and muted colours and mid level contrast so not too strong but i can't speak for whether you will too. ALSO im a religious user of @/simmerstesia's psd set here i think a well chosen shot can be really elevated by using something like this to really give it that final polish

additionally if u have any like really specific questions or need some advice u can ask me on discord my dms are open like i can talk u thru it. promise it's not as daunting as it can look

#ask #reply #anonymous

[jovoy]

i bought this expensive dior foundation today mostly cuz sephora is doing 4x points on dior and i like trying foundations and i had heard good stuff about this one! and i love my armani and i am very loyal to it but also i like to experiment also what can i say. and i feel like it looks so good still. like you know how there are some foundations that look so good when you apply them but dont wear that well. WELL this one didnt actually look that fantastically when i put it on initially i wasnt that wowed…but its actually wearing so beautifully its been on for 7+ hours and it still looks basically flawless i mean i know i have like zits and stuff but like its foundation its not magical people. except for like right where my glasses were sitting but i have accepted that no foundation or concealer will ever not budge at all with glasses sitting on top of it for 12+ hours yk.

the match is better irl i prommy. its the matte version ive realized matte foundation is jusy the way to go yknow…glowy foundation is just not going to last the way you want it to ever. this formula is so weird though its SUPER sticky when you apply it like its soooo tacky and like…feels like glue even though the consistency is so thin. but it dries down to be basically transfer proof and very matte especially with a light dusting of powder on top. wtf right. so actually i like it even though there is a learning curve.. ok this has been the daily makeup review you did not ask for

[goqmir]

tumblr is very fickle. i feel like posts simultaneously have a far greater reach and shelf life and also no hope of being seen; i often like reblog things i post a few times throughout the day just so all of my mutuals get to see it and not just the ones who were there at 9am yknow. its also so weird everything feels both more connected (by common tags that a lot of groups of people post under) and way less connected (because you cant see who follows who or even who your mutuals are easily). its better than twitter obviously but theres a lot of things i miss and its honestly kind of a big learning curve. my biggest feature request is being able to see if someone is my mutual just by looking at their account and my second biggest is to see how many accounts i follow also follow an account im looking at. everything else is better and more relaxed and cooler

[ocuuda]

What inspired you to start up 3d modeling, and were there any guides out there that helped you get started? Also if you had one tip (or more) for beginners what would it be?

i was really into mmd as a teenager and wanted to make my ocs firstly, but my main push to from-scratch modeling instead of frankensteining models was that i wanted to put majima goro in different outfits and render them out in sfm or blender. those old men ruined my life. however a lot of my early learning was just messing around in pmx editor for mmd models and messing around in metasequoia 4, so i dont really have a ton of direct tutorials for beginners wanting to get into 3d modeling. the only tip i can give is to not use the donut tutorial and instead id recommend this absolute complete beginners tutorial series.

one more thing i can say is that dont trust people on the internet when they act hyperbolic about how hard blender is to learn. like holy cow it isnt rocket science, but of course theres a little bit of a learning curve because like. its a new skill. of course its going to be hard. but screaming and crying about how overwhelming the blender ui looks without even bothering to look at a tutorial does nothing but discourage you AND other people wanting to get into this form of art. practice and exposure and GOOGLING makes perfect yknow

#dukeofash #ocuudadvice

[creativebrainrot]

im rlly glad i found drawfee a few years ago. no joke- their attitude with art and approach to teaching re-ignited my love for art. i kinda faded from it for a few years, for various reasons. It was really nice to reclaim so many good mindsets. "Even if its bad you still made something." "It takes a while to get anywhere so enjoy the journey." "find beauty in what you've made even if you can see flaws in it." (maybe not directly stated philosophys but just generally how theyve come off to me.) and just to see Profesionals have issues and opinions i relate to made art so much less scary again. i was never really afraid, persay, in any way but yknow. elitist attitudes are like poison for creativity. Plenty of us slip into "if it isnt going to be any good why even do it."

But thanks to Drawfee and this little pocket of tumblr ive found myself in, and now also thanks to my friends, I've been able to look at my own art and see the good. The progress. The concept itself, behind my art, and be proud that i made anything at all. I've even been able to look at my art and see it how others would once in awhile. Without hyperfocusing on every brush stroke I know I made.

It's just all so very nice. considering I've been taking art a bit more seriously for only about, 3 years? 5 if you're generous. That's what it feels like anyway. I have been painting my entire life. And practicing without it feeling like practice. Anyway considering all that, its pretty neat how far ive come already :D

It's nice to be proud of every new piece and every new sketch. To have fun with every new learning curve. To have the freedom to choose to upload something "subpar" because i wanted to share a concept or creation of mine, and just didnt have it in me to take it any farther. This is a nice creative freedom. I hope you get that too one day, wherever you might need this state of mind.

#longass post cause i have to stay awake to get back on my schedule #and i have Thoughts when im tired #boy do i have so many thoughts when im tired. #rotthoughts

[honeymaki]

Hey just wanted to pop in and say its super nice to see how positive you are towards yourself as someone who struggles day to day its super sweet to see you be proud! Its been a bit since you did a thought posts sort of thing, how are you doing lately?? I hope youre doing good lovely and if not im sending you good vibes 🥰, i hope you enjoy your day!

Oh wow🥺 thank u, it means a lot to hear that. Lately I haven’t felt as positive as usual I’m not going to lie; it’s been a little bit of a struggle, a little bit of a sad moment but since completing a round of psychotherapy, my coping mechanisms and thought processes have changed so it’s easier to manage. Overall, it’s a learning curve yknow? Learning ways to feel good and simple and better, dumbing down my feelings to ‘I am sad. This thing made me sad’ has helped, as well as literally saying ‘I am struggling to process my emotions about this thing right now, give me a little while please’. It’s simplifying things I usually overthink and blow out of proportion. I am working more though! Lots more, and earning more too, and cooking lots! I love cooking! I rediscovering parts of myself that I lost or forgot, listing it down and going back when I’m sad. We got a new kitten! She’s called marceline and she’s so littol :3

I am however struggling a lot with home life at the moment. I still live with my parents and that in itself is already a challenge, there’s been a lot of clashes and upsets and it’s making me so :(( but I am learning my own boundaries and that I am valid in most of my emotions, as well as my own self worth. I’m reading a book on it at the moment, it’s very insightful. But thank you for checking in, tonight especially I needed it and the good vibes are a blessing so thank u friend :3 I hope u are feeling good too and if not then kisses for u💕💕

#cries at u #🧋.answers

[400terahertz]

thoughts about frontiers after beating it obvs this will b spoilery so read at ur own risk bcus BOY i need to ramble

GOT DAM WHAT A GAME.....WOW JUST WOOOOOO omg ok

first the islands were very fun to play through. i 100 percent mapped them bcus i was obsessed with running around finding things, doing the side story bits and challenges. enjoyed the platforming a lot 2 around the world! my first sonic game was forces so tbh playing frontiers was a bit of a learning curve bcus its a lot more involved i think. like with the bars u swing round i fucked up so much at first but they r very fun once u get used 2 them. i like how some of the platforming was tied together so u could go from one 2 the other when u get it right!! also with doing the challenges unlocking more ride rails around the islands if u wanted a quick get around

enjoyed the guardians a lot 2!! faves were that of ares island tbh i enjoyed the strider and shark ones. fuck the tank tho. the last island guardians made me want to explode bcus i cannot parry. so i just kill with sonic boom instead

also just the general layout of the islands was good as well. amen for the marker placing but i like that they did make u work 2 get 2 some places. like getting the sixth chaos emerald

general gameplay was good 2!! i got the whole skill tree for fun bcus i wanted to see how everything worked. sonic boom was by far my fave. killing and maiming

cyberspace was also fun 2! ik they reused level design but i actually found it fun recognising level layout like from sa2, generation and unleashed. also having different routes and the missions did make me replay a few levels a couple time bcus i liked the satisfaction of clearing all four of them (tho i got lazy towards the end bcus i was buzzing 2 see the final boss). one gripe about it tho my god the cameraaaa. maybe it was just me but the fixed camera honestly fucked me over for some of levels. in open world it was mostly ok like when u got it 4 the 2d esque platforming but for cyberspace it made things a bit harder. but i still enjoyed it anyway but fuck you sky sanctuary all my homies hate sky sanctuary

boss fights i will take about later but uhh characters!! IM SO HAPPYYYYYY sonic characters when they r actually done right my beloved. i love how amy is becoming more independent (which eggman literally mentions in his memos) and not that 2d chasing sonic girl. its nice to see her get actual character depth and have her b more insightful. it was nice to see i adore amy so it made me smile. also loved her interactions with the koco honestly they were besties. and i love how sonic cares and doesn't brush her Off. ik he gets a little mad but its more just not like hes fr mad at her more like i really want to help you like i dunno how 2 describe it but yknow. it was nice to see how much he cared about her. and i think its nice 2 see that shes grown up a little and is more independent, excited to see where she'll go in the future.

knuckles and sonic my god fruity as FUCKING ANYTHING. genuinely made me giggle they were very funny together which i missed bcus they jest!! theyre silly guys who know how 2 be serious. also knuckles and his autism about all the history of the islands was so lovely it made me happy 2 see him b like yknow!! not b made fun of or what not. yknow hes still got that degree of 'grew up alone and away from most modern things' but they don't make him seem stupid for it yknow. also the moments between him and sonic that r more serious r done well and not like twisted into a joke or anything. if they do tease each other they play fair. they both respect each other even if they get on eahc others nerves. they gay yknow?

AND TAILS. HAND IN MY FUCKING MOUTH MILES TAILS PROWER. god his interactions with sonic really brought back the big brother little bro dynamic ive been missing rather than just guy and his sidekick. its nice to see tails have hangups about stuff and sonic not just teasing and actually sincerely talking about it with him. also tails talking to sage about how he trusts sonic with his life her observation of them being a family even if not genetically so. it was just very nice 2 see the dynamic come back again. also excited 2 see how tails does in the future as well, believing in himself and all. also I LOVE that u can see sonic in tails between the mimicking expression. also tails technology autism straight from the beginning amen.

for sage and sonic it was kinda funny 2 see his expression like boy was tired of the vagueness but yknow he also tried to play nice when he gets knuckles to not attack her and just trying 2 get her to open up a little. in particular the one scene on chaos island where hes a bit snippy with her bcus hes tired and hurting honestly but once she leaves he kinda :[ bcus he does want to help her if she would just listen.

sage and eggman oh my god. rotates. the egg memo talking about what if sage was like maria. oh my god i read thru them and just seen the increasing affection from him 2 her really drove me nuts /pos. eggman may be evil but god that fatherly affection got me good. the scene at the end when hes watching the shooting stars and he knows shes gone but not for real. bcjs he clenches his fist and you knew he was gonna get her back. bcus thats his girl.

sonic himself was such a breath of fresh air honestly he wasn't a jerk or dismissive he was the sincere, respectfully teasing loyal as hell guy we know and loved and missed. his character in this game was so perfect 2 me. tails is right he is not perfect u see him get mad and snappy sometimes but its bcus he cares and hes doing everything he can to help his friend s. he is so dedicated while also keeping them company and talking things thru with them. i missed his serious side as well. he knows when not to fuck around and what he needs to do. god it was lovely.

animation. explodes A MOVE AWAY FROM THE MASCOT SYNDROME. they r using small blue anthropomorphic hedgehog anatomy 2 their advantage bcus he is not gonna move like a real person. the bounce of the animation, the use of eyebrows for expression, EAR WIGGLES. it was so nice and fluid. everytime i got into a fully animated cutscene i exploded everytime bcud UGHHHHHHH it just scarcthed my brain. also the changes in sonics idle pose as u progressed thru the story bcus of the cyber corruption. biting a pillow. i felt bad making him run around once i got 2 rhea island bcus HE WAS TIRED. HE WAS TIRED AND HURT!!! go take a nap for one week boy.

in terms of story i enjoyed mysf a lot. the ai vocie actually ending up being the enemy was not my expectation. honestly my major impression was sage being the villain and belonging 2 the islands when she is in fact eggmans creation. so that was a twisty bit for me. i liked the lore!!!! learning new stuff about old things like the emeralds was cool i love new info on things!! also the million callbacks to old games that gave that hint of continuity like name dropping old game events or bosses . god it made me pig everytime honestly considering the inconsistentcy of the timeline here. ESPECIALLY WITH REFERENCES TO OTHER CHARACTERS. LIKE TANGLE god that scratches my brain bcus it connects the idw comics to canon now and that is crazy. i would say one thing that disappointed me was the way that sonic cyber corruption was easily resolved after all the build up for the whole game. i am silly and i was hoping for some aspect of sonic final boss especially with the evil ai i was partially convinced he was gonna get taken over. which wouldve honestly been sick. even if not that i wouldve like to see what sonic was experiencing just standing there like that. tails mentioning he was between realities really has me thinking about what he mightve been doing in that brief amount of time. but yeah i wish there was smth more of it but i have stuff 2 draw out later so its ok. was convinced bcus of the shot where amy runs up to him the angle his head is at just makes him look ominous as hell.

boss FIGHTS.GOD I AM BAD AT GAMING BUT I WAS HYPED AS HELL THE WHOLE WAY THRU. wave was the knight one purely for the sword bit at the end my mouth was fucking on the floor watching it. hardest 4 me was the wyvern bcus i cannot fucking parry but thst one has my fave ost. i didnt get the true final boss so i felt the final boss i did get (just supreme and qte for the end) was kinda lacking. but i havent watched gameplay for the hard mode yet so yeah.

AND MUSIC WOOHOO!! jammed out in cyberspace and in the boss fights really hard. i like the tech synth they had for cyberspace but the contrast with metalcore for thr boss fights. i hope they stick with that theme in the future bcus sonic really does sound best with rock.

nd yeah!! that's all i can think of rn but i enjoyed myself a lot!! new fave sonic game :]

#.chat #extremely long post have fun

[flower-blooming-in-hell]

i need to scream into the void for a minute here bc like. idk who i can tell this who will understand

just rambling abt mental health (ptsd + depression mainly) and transitioning

but just. !!!!!!!!! i just took my first dose of T!!!!!!!! i officially have my androgel at home! and i just applied it to my skin!! and im waiting for it to dry a lil bit more before i put anything on it (like the sweater im gonna wear to bed tonight)

and im like. i could honestly cry rn not in a bad way but in a "this has been coming for such a long time and im so excited for the future right now" kinda way

i think a reason ive always disliked myself is bc i hate being a girl honestly

my voice is too high and feminine, and my face has never looked like my own (though that could also have to do with the did but still)

im currently planning on ending up looking more androgynous atm, but honestly im on a low dose so i can see which changes i want and how far i want to go

tbh im thinkin i might just end up going all the way tho? not sure

or. all the way isnt the right words but yknow what i mean basically lol

its ? very interesting figuring myself out like this

like im not fully confident on who i am but i know what i want, and i dont want to be a girl. i never really have, and i knew that at a young age. and to a point i do identify with "girl/woman" but thats only bc i was raised one, so i have similar experiences to a lot of ppl who could be called girls/women

plus my mom is def bioessentialist (which i need to look up counterarguments for that tbh) and i love her to death but she just doesnt really understand ... a lot of things

plus yknow. trauma . ive never gotten to fully be myself - i have always been what other people want me to be. its... an experience and a learning curve, finally figuring out who and what i am.

tbh this feels similar to when i got published (technically. it was a competition thing and a prize was getting published alongside others) with the like ... sheer positive emotion and wanting to cry and shaking with the excitement of what ive achieved and get to have

its really weird, being this happy. i didnt think id ever get to feel this way, or that id be excited for the future or have plans for it like i do right now. ive always had the feeling of "theres more things i have to do, so im not finished here." but its never really come out as starkly as it is now.

im really, REALLY happy.

yknow, sometimes i look back on my abuser and think that we were made for each other, and that ill never achieve anything greater than having dated them

and i think this is the first time its actually fully setting in and really occuring to me that i can have a life without them. i dont need them. i never did, and i didn't truly gain anything from being so close to them for so long.

and while i will always be resentful for having to grow up so fast and that i spent so much time on them, and there are still a lot of times that i'm upset with myself for being so unfailingly kind and giving and resilient, times where i wish i broke and wasn't here anymore, i'm truly glad that i didn't and i'm still here.

and i'm happy that i'm not with them anymore.

and i'm glad that i got to have this. and that nobody i currently know will speak negatively about this to me.

sometimes it feels a lot like i move on from them in jagged bits and pieces of glass, like im tugging them out of my skin years after impact

this feels a lot less like that, and more like...

ever since they came into my life, ive felt like . corrupted, evil, gross, whore, etc compared to their bright white purity. like i could never measure up

i think this is the first time in years where ive actually felt pure, in any kind of way

excited for the future, happy, not focused on anyone but myself, confident.

ive always wanted a truly clean slate. and now i have that

i have a better idea of things i want now too, and ive been taking better care of myself as well, and i have so much more energy

i still wish they could see and that theyd be proud of me, instead of whatever the hell manipulative gaslighty bs theyd think up

but im not thinking about them that much either

this is something that i want, and the focus is rightfully on me

...its a slightly weird feeling, but i dont feel selfish for it, for once

#also on a trauma note: #they both really left me in the exact same way huh #they got tired of me and looked for an outside force to make me break up with them #bc they didnt want to do it themselves #cowards

[staybeautifulmp3]

I want to know 2 for the choose violence ask game pls

"a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom" oh god okay. obviosly first of all major disclaimer that sexual preference is no indication of personality or gender roles yada yada yeada.... and well if we're talking sports night i don't think either of dan and casey have sexual preferences and neither of them have had much experience with male intimacy or (healthy, fun) sex with men so its really a learning curve of how to navigate a kind of relationship that neither of them are very familiar with. and yknow, they have sex i dont think they really think about it

on the other hand john sheppard stargate atlantis has never been on top in his life

#thank you! #amanda.mail

[909414208]

i switched to linux when i wasnt drawing much so didnt care that clip studio paint wasnt available on it.. then decided to start drawing again by jumping straight into a multi character scene

my finding: krita is so good tbh!!! slightly higher learning curve than csp but totally manageable. lots of little touches that make me go Oh why isnt that standard yknow. and its ✨ free and open source✨ 

#what im getting at is try krita