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itsallyscorner · 3 years

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obvius w sebastian bc hes my baby. Seb's pov? fluff fluff

Hehehe Obvious is such a cute song🥺 I hope you like it and thank you for being patient!❤️❤️

Also just realized you said you wanted it in Seb’s pov, I totally missed that, I’m so sorry💀😭

💌.

obvious

Warnings: none, just different mornings of waking up next to Seb:)

I love the taste of you in the morning

Keep me warm and

Nothin' else, nothin' more important

Makes me wanna believe in love (Mmm)

I love the thought of us in the evening

Crave the feeling

The way you feel, somethin' 'bout it's healing

I'm praying we don't fuck this up (Ah-ah-ah, babe)

The sun’s light shines through the curtains creating a warm light to fill the room. The room is slightly chilly but you could care less. Being in Sebastian’s arms had kept you warm throughout the night. You take a breath in as you stretch your limbs out, the sounds of the sheets shifting and your joints cracking breaking the silence.

Sebastian’s hand rests on your bare stomach under your shirt. His large hand keeping your exposed stomach warm. You stroke his arm before turning in his grip. You’re greeted by Sebastian sleeping beside you. His hair is a fluffy mess, the ends splayed out against the pillow his head is on. His face is peaceful while his mouth is slightly agape.

You lazily smile as you lightly brush a strand of his short hair from his forehead. You press a kiss to the corner of his lips as you admire his sleeping form. Was it kinda creepy? Maybe. But the love of your life was sleeping beside you in bed and you enjoyed the feeling of waking up beside him.

Sebastian’s lips crack into a smile a few seconds after you kiss him. The sight makes you grin, “Were you awake this whole time?”

Sebastian hums as he rubs the sleep out his eyes. Your (e/c) eyes meet his crystal ones when his lids finally open. Pulling you closer into his chest he softly says, “I woke up when you started stretching.”

You look up at him and kiss his chin as he looks down at you. His thumbs stroke your back as his palms are flush against your skin.

“Good morning.” You contently sigh. Your arm rests on his shoulder while your fingers card through his soft hair.

“Good morning, iubitel.” His voice is rough and gravely, fresh from sleep. You realize how lucky you are to be one of the first people to hear his voice like this in the morning.

“I like this.” You muse as you tuck your head in between his shoulder and neck.

“You like what, my love?” His chest rumbles against yours, reminding you that this is real and that he woke up beside you.

“Waking up next to you. Waking up in your arms and being warm when I wake up because I have my own human furnace.” You feel him shift so that he’s on his back and you’re on top of him. You rest your head on your arms as you stare down at him, “I want this every morning.”

“I know, I want this every morning too. You’re a really great teddy bear.” He jokes as he leans into you. You make a noise and hide your face in your arms. Sebastian huffs as he tries to maneuver his way to your lips.

“Baby, I need my good morning kiss.” He whines, trying to move your arms.

“No, let me brush my teeth first.” You protest. Sebastian huffs again and flips the two of you over. Suddenly, his fingers are digging into your sides, making you squeal.

“NO SEB!” Your hands grip onto his trying to stop his fingers. Sebastian smiles and crashes his lips onto yours. The taste of him entering your mouth as you eventually kiss him back. His fingers now stroking your sides, soothing them from his tickling.

“I love you.” He tells you against your lips.

“I love you too.”

Others that I've had had to impress me before

But I knew you were the real thing

When you walked through the door

I didn't think that I would have to spell it out

You met Seb on set of The Winter Soldier. You were part of the makeup department and he happened to be assigned to you. Now during that time, he was in a relationship, though that didn’t stop you from secretly having a crush on him. I mean, you had to face him every single day because you did his makeup, so you couldn’t avoid him.

You remember the first day you met him. The way he walked in through the trailer doors with a shy smile on his face and how he asked if he was in the right trailer. Since the beginning, he’s shown nothing but kindness and respect to you and the others on set.

You work with him again during Civil War and you guys got closer. He was assigned to you again which meant you saw him everyday. You guys caught up, asking each other what they’ve been up to or how their day was. When you asked him how his girlfriend was he made a face and told you that they broke up. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel the tiniest bit of excitement burst inside you.

Around the same time, he asked you out to lunch during one of his breaks. As much as you wanted to go you couldn’t because you were needed on set. So Sebastian brought lunch to you, which started the routine of having lunch in his trailer together. Trailer lunches turned into real dates and those dates eventually became the start of your relationship.

Oh, my love, oh, my love is free

Ain't no price on my loyalty

No shit, got me right where you want me, baby

Could I be more obvious? (Ooh)

The two of you were tangled in your sheets once again on a sunny morning. Sebastian had been staying at your place for a few days now, wanting to spend as much time with you before he leaves for another one of his projects.

The two of you laid in silence, basking in the warm and calm atmosphere of the sun’s light in your room. You were laying on your stomach, your right hand tucked under your head and your left hand on Sebastian’s chest. Your eyes were shut as you felt Sebastian play with the fingers of your left hand.

“You’ll still be here for me when I come back right?” He asks, his voice so small and quiet. His question makes your eyes open so you’re staring at the side of his face. He’s focused on your fingers, eyebrows knitted softly together.

You stop his fiddling and interlace your fingers with his. He turns his head to look at you, smiling when he sees you’re looking back at him.

“Of course I will. You don’t even have to ask me twice.” You tell him reassuringly as you scoot closer to him in bed.

“Why?” You ask him, your chin now resting on his shoulder.

“I don’t know. You deserve someone who’ll spend all the time in the world with you. Not, not me. I’m always leaving for work and I barely get to spend any time with you. You deserve someone who wakes up in the same time zone as you and not have to have dates over FaceTime because they keep missing out anniversaries.” He explained as he went back to playing with your fingers. You pull yourself up to rest on your elbow and guide Sebastian’s face to look at you.

“Who says I’m not happy to be in a relationship with you? I understand your job and I know it’s difficult, but in the end we’re gonna see each other again. You make me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. I wouldn’t ask for anyone else, Seb. Trust me, I only want you.” He looks into your eyes and finds nothing but sincerity.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” You place your lips onto his as his thumb runs along the skin of your left ring finger.

Maybe if I'm lucky, you might stay the afternoon

If you gotta work, just promise me you'll come back soon

Maybe you should pack a suitcase too (Too)

I love the thought of you never leavin' (No)

Days repeatin'

Gettin' steps up on the treadmill while you sleepin'

Never thought I'd believe in love again

The bed shifts underneath you, causing you to stir in your sleep. Sebastian shushes you when he sees you turn to his side. He watches as your arm reaches out for him but instead it’s met with the bed. He audibly awes when he sees you pout and scrunch your face up in your sleep. He kneels onto the bed and runs a hand through your hair before kissing your temple.

“Sebba.” You mumble as you start to wake up. Sebastian hums softly as he strokes your back.

“Go back to sleep, it’s four in the morning.” He’s now sitting on the bed. He wants to stay with you and wake up in the late morning, but he was needed on set.

“Why are you awake? Go back to sleep.” You whine as you shove your face into his pillow.

“Because I have work, baby.”

“Not even a few more minutes?” You huff, eyes finally opening to meet his in the dark.

“I’m taking my few more minutes right now.” He chuckles as he rests his head on your back. The rhythm of your breathing lulling him back to sleep.

“Do you have to go? I want you to stay.”

“Yeah, they need Bucky on set.” He answers as he tries to get you back to sleep. One of his hands are on your back slowly making circles on your back to soothe you to sleep.

“Bucky doesn’t even talk that much, he just runs a lot.” A lazy smile is on your face as Sebastian gasps.

“I’m kidding, you know I love Bucky.” You hum as you snuggle deeper into the covers. Sebastian feels your breathing get deeper, meaning you were drifting off again.

“I’m gonna get ready.” He whispers to your sleeping figure. He hesitantly gets up from the bed slowly and carefully so you don’t wake up again.

When he’s finished washing himself and putting clothes on for the day he finds you cuddling his pillow. He smiles to himself and leans down to press a kiss on the corner of your lips.

“I love you.” He whispers. He leans back up but feels a tug on his arm. He looks down to see your hand gripping on his wrist while you look up at him through heavy lids.

“Promise me you’ll be back soon?” You ask him quietly. Sebastian leans down again and pecks your lips.

“I promise, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He tells you as you drift back to sleep.

A hint of a smile is on your lips as you dream about your future with Sebastian. Not having to sleep over at each other’s houses because you guys bought a house together. Him coming home to you and a cooked meal you’d make for him. Then after you guys would watch tv and tell each other about your days. Maybe you’d be up before him in the morning, working out on the treadmill while he caught up on some sleep. The future you envisioned with Sebastian was everything you could ever want. Not now but soon down the road, maybe those imaginations would become reality? It’s just a matter of time until Sebastian gets down one knee and makes it all come true.

iubitel ~ baby, darling

#ally’s 700 celebration #ally’s requests #marvel #mcu #avengers #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan oneshot #sebastian stan headcanons #sebastian stan drabble #sebastian stan imagine #Sebastian Stan fluff #Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #Sebastian Stan

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frillshark-fr · 3 years

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How do you get people to always buy your dragons? Genuine question

i was gonna say something like “haha i have no fucking clue” but that would be a lie i think about this a lot actually so i might have some insights i’ve been breeding dragons as my primary activity on FR since i started playing FR (in 2014...) and people have only started actually buying dragons from me consistently like, 5-6 months ago, despite 2-3 attempts at running a genuine hatchery onsite that always died due to lack of interest & not really being worth the effort.

so ive thought a lot about what the hell is happening now and why my dragons are suddenly consistently selling and I think ive come down to these being the main points of advice i can give: 1. make friends! be friendly! don’t be weird! be a cool and fun person to interact with! 2. post consistently. post your dragons consistently. post about other stuff consistently. just be an active member of the community 3. POST YOUR SHIT IN THE “#FLIGHT RISING” TAG. THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TRUELY HELPFUL THING I SAY IN THIS POST 4. make pairs that are sexy as hell and be openly proud of them. make dragons and pairs that you like, not what you think will necessarily sell. people can tell when you like stuff and being genuinely passionate about something, whatever the fuck it is, will get other people passionate as well longer versions/explanations under the cut because man this got a mile long. i wasn’t kidding when i said i think about this a lot and i am so sorry if you wanted something concise and useful

1. to be a little glib. i am mutuals/friends with more clout in the FR community than I do kjdshfdsfdhjhkfdf shoutout to everyone who draws their dragons really good on a regular basis because i am riding on your coattails to sell my dragons. i love you this was never my intent, obviously! DO NOT BEFRIEND PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU WILL GET STUFF FROM THEM IT’S JUST A REALLY BAD THING TO DO TO PEOPLE!!! i wouldn’t be friends w/ people if i didn’t genuinely like and get along with them! no amount of pixel cash is worth putting up with people you dont like or abusing people you admire! but i’d also somehow feel wrong to just... neglect mentioning this factor. idk it’s probably a self-esteem thing sjdkgfhdsf i just Don’t feel like my #success has been totally out of my own effort because its not like im #hustling or whatever i just posted dragons and stuff happened

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2. being consistent! just. posting consistently! posting Every Hatchling I Have and Talking About Them On Tumblr! Once I had a couple nests just sell super fast likely due to aforementioned clout, i was emboldened to just post more of my nests more often and I swear this has more effect than anything else. i just needed the self-esteem boost to Start Doing That posting consistently makes ppl follow u for ur content which gets even more people to look at your dragons which gets more people to buy your dragons.

2a. Also just post a lot in general, even if you aren’t necessarily posting about your dragons for sale. it definitely helps! just be friendly and active and people will come

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3. post your shit in the tag. not in “#dragon-sales” or “#fr-dragon-sales” or anything weird like that because I don’t know if anyone actually looks at those, but people definitely browse “#flight rising”. no matter how many followers you have, more people will see your content if you post it in #flight rising than if you just chuck it into the void.

3a. however! do not put links into the post if you want it to actually show up in the tag. tumblr is cool in that it doesn’t actually matter that much when you post something, the same way it really matters on twitter bc twitter has algorithms that decide for you what it thinks you want to be seeing whereas tumblr just shows you everything in chronological order. if you post something into the tag at 1am... it will still be there at 2pm when people log on and start scrolling.

the only thing tumblr seems to consistently hide from a tag (and possibly a dashboard, but idk) are posts with links in them, as a half-assed attempt to limit spam. instead of linking to your sales tab/to the dragons directly in the post, reblog it with the links instead. to reduce latency between a post going up and the links being available, i type out the links in the initial post, cut them, post the thing into the tag, then very quickly reblog, paste the links, and post the reblog jdhfsdf. i don’t know if that benefits anything really? but it can sometimes take me a while to type links, so if i posted, pressed reblog, typed up all the links, then posted, it’d be like ~15 minutes where someone may see the post, think “oh i would like to buy those dragons”, then can’t find the link, think “oh well, i will just find it later”, scroll on, and just... completely forget about it. so uh. go quick?

3b. the armchair sociologist in me also thinks self-reblogging has the added benefit of like... you know how people are more likely to tip a barista when a dollar is already in the tip jar? or how people are more likely to take one of those little tabs on a flyer if one of them is already missing? i think that works with notes, too. i don’t know why i think that or why it happens i just swear once a post gets 1 note, suddenly it gets Even More Notes, and if it doesn’t get any notes for a while it will sit at 0 notes until the end of time. so giving yourself 1 obligatory note makes people more likely to interact. i think

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4. all of these are hard to quantify but this one is especially so: have cool and unique dragons. make your pairs sexy as hell. don’t put all your eggs (hah) into the one basket of selling dragons that are technically “popular”. we have all seen triple white/triple obsidian/triple orca/triple any other popular colors and cherub/pere/stained or wasp/bee/glim pthahlos or whatever. they’re pretty! we get it! but everyone has had one and everyone has had those pairs and market for dragons like that can be super oversaturated. try to break free from that and sell dragons that people can only get from you. I can’t tell you what to do though bc that rly depends on you. make pairs that you find exciting or interesting and people will feel that. i have a very specific theme and aesthetic that i don’t feel like is especially common on FR and i am genuinely very enthusiastic about it. marine shit is my Thing:tm: both on and off FR and dragons are one of my many ways of expressing that if you have a Thing:tm:, either some fr-centric aesthetic (like being super into plague or earth or light or something) or something more general (such as any of the -punks or -cores)... just fuckin roll with it honestly. if you’re goth? make got h dragons. like scene stuff that looks straight out of a middle school in 2010? rock that hot-topic lair. outdoorsey type? make dragons that look like you’d meet them on a hike in the woods. it really works with anything! people can tell when you really love something and i know that seeing someone really love something, even if it’s not necessarily MY thing, makes me really excited too!!

4a. never show fear. people can smell fear. never be like “well this one isn’t that good” because suddenly now you’ve planted the idea that it’s ugly in other people’s heads when they may have really liked it had you not accidentally suggested to them that it’s an ugly dragon. people are EXTREMELY suggestible to even VERY minor cues so be always a little bit bolder than you think you should be you’d be surprised at how many times ive been like “eh, this one’s kind of a dud, i’ll probably have to exalt this one when the auction expires” and then that hatchling is the first to sell. never ever ever ever decide what other people like for them. always act like your dragons are the hottest shit in all the land and Believe It. this is what people mean when they say “fake it till you make it”

- 4b. also, idk if it’s true of everyone but it’s really off-putting to see someone having serious pity-parties for themselves, on sales posts or otherwise. ive had bad experiences with people who are uncomfortably quick to self-depreciate (because they were using their genuine self-hatred to manipulate me or my friends), so i might be a little more trigger-happy about avoiding this behavior than others, but don’t weaponize your sadness to guilt people into doing what you want. it’s really not cool.

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okay i think that’s my entire manifesto on how i do dragon selling. anon i am so sorry im sure you were expecting like “believe in yourself :)” and here i am dissecting dragon selling like it’s a frog in a science class

edit: AFTER ALL THAT I STILL THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING. It’s not really a Point, just a Reminder:

i don’t post about all the times i have to exalt dragons that don’t sell. you are seeing me being very selective about what i post. you dont sit and stare at my lair or click through offspring lists or check old sales posts. there are a lot of times where someone just doesn’t sell. even now when i’m selling stuff pretty consistently i will still sometimes have dragons that don’t sell for seemingly no reason. even dragons I think are sure to sell will sometimes just... not. and that’s ok! you gotta just be.. ok with that. it’s par for the course. i typically list dragons for 7 days on the AH, give them a couple more days after their auction expires (partially because i forget, partially to give them a grace period for people to pm/ask me about them), and then exalt them after that point. w/ some dragons that i don’t think got a fair shake for one reason or another (such as the sales post not showing up in the tag or something) i do a little clearance (like the halloween dragons i recently posted) but for the most part if they don’t sell, i just exalt them. 90% of the time i don’t even bother to level them up i just press the exalt button and call it a day. it’s fine

#if anyone is interested i can make a post about my process for finding new dragon pairs?#i’d just include it here but this post is long enough as it is oo;;#Anonymous

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redandfranticfeelings · 5 years

Text

okay ive been wanting to make a post like this for a while but i wanted to make it an essay and i dont know if i can really organize my thoughts in that way yet, so here’s a chronological bullet-pointed dump to explain my very important thesis:

be more chill is about internalized ableism, and jeremy, michael, and christine are all highly autistic coded. this is going to be very long and detailed but only because there’s a lot of details that work very well under this lens.

there’s probably even stuff i missed but this is already extremely long so it basically just functions as a way for me to collect a bunch of details that i can piece together later in a more coherent manner.

“more than survive” in the context of jeremy being autistic works so much. the theme of wanting to be just socially acceptable enough to not burn out or be harassed is so relatable, and it visually establishes very early how jeremy is isolated from his peers due to his own awkward behavior and hypersensitivity. it’s coupled with his very obvious anxiety disorder, but the social aspect just screams autistic coding to me. i take this song to basically be “not having a meltdown is basically my goal but i would love to be neurotypical enough so i can heighten my standards and actually enjoy my social life.” some choice segments:

“if i’m not feeling weird or super strange, my life would be in utter disarray, cuz freaking out is my okay”

jeremy’s house being a mess is partly due to his dad’s serious depression, yeah, but i believe the other aspect is that jeremy’s executive dysfunction makes it just as hard to clean up in his place

he gets super anxious at the prospect of his expected routine being shaken up and having to make the decision on his own of how to get to school

“so i follow my own rules and i use them as my tools to stay alive” honestly sounds like a euphemism for autism to me

jeremy not really realizing that he’s staring at chloe

“avoiding any eye contact at all” explains itself

michael’s introduction, oh my god, every time i watch this part i just adore it. i could talk a lot more about michael’s autism later but this whole segment sells it especially.

first off, michael keeping his hood up and headphones on in a deliberate attempt to avoid social interaction and stay in his own space is such an autistic mood. even before this scene he’s constantly moving in the background to his music a la stimming. in the later performances he spends a lot more time playing with his hoodie strings and even chews on them!!

the fact he doesn’t talk to or even really look at jeremy until his song is done playing also feels very autistic to me! and the way he dances so confidently and basically pretends even his best friend isn’t there for the time being because he’s engrossed in his own passions.

michael is a great friend but it’s clear that he doesn’t really understand that his coping mechanism doesn’t really work for jeremy, and that even though michael feels confident reclaiming his identity as a ‘loser,’ jeremy doesn’t really feel any better about it. i think a lot of autistic folks, or at least i do, have this tendency to assume what works for us works for everyone around us at first due to our struggles with empathy. michael tries his best but struggles to see outside his point of view. it’s mind-blindness in action and jeremy can’t communicate why it upsets him any better than michael can pick up on it not working for him.

near the end of the song, they have a brief moment where all the ensemble crowds in around jeremy and the lights start flashing, which i interpret as a visual representation of sensory overload.

we’ll talk more about her soon, but outside of jeremy’s fantasies about her, christine also avoids social interaction during this number, constantly hiding her face in a book and avoiding eye contact just as much as jeremy. people forget that she’s not comfortable with unexpected social interaction, and that really informs my headcanon for her which brings us to....

“i love play rehearsal” is an autistic anthem. it also works, possibly even better due to in-text evidence, as an adhd anthem, but combined with the above it makes so much sense for her to be comorbid autism/adhd. i did a breakdown of the song in this context before, but i’ll sum it up here

the song showcases what having a special interest/hyperfixation is like. christine is singing to jeremy, yes, but she really seems so caught up in her own passion without much regard for how jeremy is following it, and even cuts him off from responding to her once or twice because she’s just so hyped up on her own feelings. she also basically implies her happiness is reliant on her special interest which is very relatable.

lines like “you follow a script so you know what comes next” also really sell the interpretation that christine isn’t good in unpredictable situations, and has so many identity issues and likes having something to look to where things are laid out for her. i think that stability is what a lot of autistic people look for, especially teenagers.

also with that in mind, look at how upset she gets watching a play she loves about get rewritten into something weird and new that she doesn’t know.

also gotta love how she still self-isolates before this song by focusing on her book, until she has a reason to infodump to jeremy. and then feels guilty afterwards and goes right back into her book while apologizing for getting “carried away”....biiiig mood there

the whole intro scene showcases both of their awkwardness so much. jeremy gets completely thrown off by her sarcastic comment about the swim team and almost believes it, which implies that he can’t read tone very well. and then christine’s “you’re a virgin” comment comes across like she really didn’t think about how that would sound to jeremy before saying it since she only made the clarification after he was ready to panic about it. she has a habit of speaking before she thinks, i think, the self-harm comment is also very awkward considering she barely knows jeremy.

after that scene we get “more than survive reprise” where jeremy admits to routinely having such bad breakdowns that he needs to step out and go to the nurse which works for both the anxiety disorder and the autism interpretation.

i’m not quite sure whether i see rich as autistic (i see him with a lot of mental issues for sure though) so i can’t say much on “the squip song” but there’s definitely something to describing a confused autistic kid as “almost helpless.” rich definitely has a habit of giving too much information though, i’ll say that.

“two player game” is just jeremy and michael being autistic solidarity: the song. i guess this is a good place to say that jeremy and michael work well as a contrast b/w two sides of autistic community, the side that struggles to function and desperately wants a change bc they’re afraid of being alone forever, and the side that tries to love all their symptoms and embrace their autistic pride. and as coincidental icing on the cake, jeremy wears blue (associated with the derogatory views from autism speaks) and michael wears red (associated with combating said views through autistic pride).

btw you could probably attribute michael’s ability to casually down a long-expired crystal pepsi as a sort of weird sensory quirk. and his fixation w/ that sort of memorabilia honestly feels like a special interest in its own right!

both “nice sideburns....wolverine, right” and “like in x-men????” using fiction as a reference point for real life always gives me autistic vibes (esp the first point where he awkwardly uses it to start conversation). can we assume x-men is a special interest? :3

jake referring to jeremy as a ‘freak’ when the squip turns on is really sad in this context but it also does make so much sense

now we get to the squip.....and what do you know, it uses tactics from abusive therapy used on autistic children. dare i say that “be more chill” as a song isn’t just an abuser’s song, but an ableist’s abuser’s song.

first off, the “spinal stimulation.” here’s a not so fun fact: electroshock therapy has been used to discourage autistic behavior in very recent years. (content warning in link for graphic description of ableist torture)

then the lyrics, in which the squip mostly focuses on jeremy’s posture and physically punishes him for disobeying. jeremy is shown to really struggle to stand up straight and pose himself in a normal, confident way, and i think that tendency to be unaware of what our body is doing is a pretty autistic thing?

the fact the squip singles out stammering and refers to jeremy’s “tics and fidgets” brings attention to two more autistic traits of jeremy’s

the squip basically punishes jeremy for responding “incorrectly” to social situations like rejecting brooke, even if they aren’t objectively wrong. it eventually just starts speaking for jeremy because jeremy seems incapable of acting natural. the squip is an abusive autism parent.

“sync up” demonstrates jeremy’s weird relationship with empathy. he wants to be nice to everyone- will has even called him “deeply empathetic”- but he’s initially really bad at seeing other people’s point of view, which is why he positions himself as sort of against the world, seeing everyone as better than him or trying to set up these barriers of Coolness where everyone else must be perfect compared to him. he’s so surprised to learn that the popular kids also hurt because of his strict idea of the social structure. it’s a combination of low self esteem and a black-and-white viewpoint.

let’s go back to christine. the squip, already established as ableist abuser, finds her “highly unusual” for acting in a way that disregards everyone who views her. she has very strange and specific visions in her head, and it seems very natural for her even if jeremy struggles to follow along.

in later performances, she chews on her sleeve and spins around during AGTIKBI. that’s stimming, babes. also gotta acknowledge “i don’t always relate to other people my age, except when i’m on the stage”

i’m gonna use this section to talk about jake and christine. christineis a bit unsure when interacting with jake, until he validates her interest- her acting is what really touches him. but jake, while good-hearted, has trouble being self-centered and thus not fully aware of christine’s own needs and space. so christine is always a little uncomfortable around him, especially in public, and not always willing to socialize. he is right about her being kind of stuck in her comfort zone, though, not doing anything off of her stage. and he is genuinely nice to her, it’s just a matter of their social strategies clashing.

the fact that the squip blocks out michael...i’ve had a lot of times in my life where i was told that socializing with other “weird” people would be counterproductive for my social development and it was part of why i was stuck with so few friends. so i really feel the idea that blocking out the person who helps you feel confident in your atypicality is framed as a good thing so you can act more socially adept, and that doing otherwise would just drag you both down.

hot DAMN does “loser geek whatever” make so much sense for an autistic kid with internalized ableism.

“it’s not only school that’s rough, being lonely’s stupid tough” makes it pretty clear this isn’t about the school social scene as muc as it is the entire social scene of the world. we may not see it, but it’s just (not) interacting with people in general that jeremy can’t stand.

“michael says that weird is rad but feeling weird just makes me sad” as stated above, makes a Lot More Sense with the idea that michael is both a more confident autistic and really bad at addressing jeremy’s own internalized ableism and desire to make connections outside his small friend group.

everything about jeremy boiling down all his problems to his “instincts” sucking and needing to basically be told what to do really highlights how autistic kids can feel broken because of their inability to fit into the social norm, to the point where we repress every behavior that actually makes us feel comfortable and unique.

not to mention the line about him being seen as a “normal handsome guy” since autistic people tend to be infantilized and never seen as desirable (will roland also implied this line has trans coding which is another discussion altogether but i feel i should acknowledge that here)

all of those terms that jeremy calls himself near the end- namely weirdo, misfit, oddball, freak, failure- all of this sounds like the shit people throw at autistic kids. like this goes beyond anxiety alone, this is jeremy being outcasted and oppressed by the general public due to his behavior. especially the “please don’t speak” part, considering how often autistic kids are mocked for misunderstanding when to speak, how to speak, and what to talk about. jeremy needs some freaking love. :(

“michael in the bathroom” is a panic attack, related to severe anxiety, but i do see a lot of aspects that play into autism as well. the little nervous stimmy movements of foot-bouncing and picking at grout, the explosive sensory overload during the “knock knock” section of the bridge, the whole concept of losing the only person you ever managed to connect to without sacrificing who you are, dealing with this massive change to your sense of philosophy and reality where you pinned everything on one person to ground yourself, and thus you’re now completely lost trying to isolate yourself from this big overwhelming social gathering...neurodivergent anthem all around.

jeremy and christine’s couch interactions during halloween give me such autistic positivity. christine basically echolales jeremy’s weird noise and they both have so much fun vocal stimming that they forget there’s another person in the room. it’s such a sweet moment until jeremy ruins it by realizing that asking her out right after a breakup is Not Really Good For Her.

christine’s reaction to the fire demonstrates a clear case of hyperempathy to me. it isn’t discussed as much as a complete lack of empathy, but autistic folks are prone to feeling way too much especially when it comes to others’ pain. christine talking about how she hates that everyone’s hurting and desperately wants to help but doesn’t know how, and how we’ve already seen how much she struggles to connect with others like jake....it’s a very relatable, very specific autistic mood.

going back to the theme of jeremy and empathy, christine’s above hyperempathy kind of breaks this mold, and while jeremy always does feel for the other kids, by this point he feels so strongly- particularly for christine, who he also saw as a perfect confident being until now- that the squip can manipulate him into “fixing” everyone the same way the squip was supposed to “fix” him. and he never considers that christine doesn’t need to be fixed because he just projects his own insecurity that strongly onto everyone else who seems “weird” in the same kind of way- hence why he assumes michael is jealous of him back in MITB. it’s likely a result of the squip’s manipulation but i feel like mind-blindness is a factor, even if jeremy switches between struggling to process others’ emotions and being extremely empathetic.

michael’s special interest saves the day!!! :D

the whole fight b/w jeremy and michael, assuming it comes from a genuine place of repressed bitterness, has a lot of added subtext with them both being autistic. jeremy accusing michael of “giving up” on social interaction, michael envies jeremy for trying bc michael is clearly Not comfortable in most large social settings, jeremy envies michael for his pride, it just hits home for me i guess

rich calling michael “antisocial headphones kid” honestly how is michael not canon autistic

in the off-bway version michael briefly speaks too loud forgetting that jeremy’s head still hurts which is a relatable Forgot About Boundaries thing. plus him smacking rich playfully forgetting that rich is Still In Pain

“voices in my head” works nice as a fuck-societal-norms-and-just-be-happy song. “embrace the traits that make you so odd” in particular :’)

jeremy remembering christine’s infodump about her obscure bowling alley performance art idea and bringing it up to her again!!!

the squip doesn’t go away because ableism and the anxiety it brings and all the upsetting symptoms of autism don’t go away, but with the right support and confidence you can live with them!!! good message for mental disorders in general and works very well in this context!!!

so in conclusion.....be more chill is autistic pride!!!

#be more chill #bmc #actuallyautistic #autistic headcanons #long post #be more neurodivergent #queue are so busted

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 6 years

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Runaways Comics Reading Guide

So, you wanna read Runaways, huh? Maybe the wait for season 2 is taking too long and you’re desperate for content or you heard that this amazing series was revived last September. Whatever the reason, you're in luck, because I sold my soul to Brian K Vaughn and all of his characters when I was 12!

You're also in luck because, compared to some other comic book series, Runaways is a little less confusing to figure out. Now, it seems a bit daunting at first, but the series is easily digestible, and you could easily get through all the comics in a couple days if you had a lot of free time. However, if you don't want to read their smaller arcs, I will note which ones are alright to skip. Here's my self determined reading order:

Runaways- Volume 1 (18 issues): must-read! Duh, this is where the story starts! The TV show takes off from here, but fair warning, the comics are radically different from the show (understandably, tv shows and comic books are much different mediums with different capabilities, but that's a different post). This is where you get to know our gang and the conflict with their parents, which is pretty important because the backstories are a lot different than in the show.

Runaways- Volume 2 (30 issues): vitally important, even if it will rip you apart inside and crush all of your dreams. At least through issue 24. After issue 24, our Lord BKV left, so some people regard the rest of the series as trash (tbh joss whedon is trash sooo). I guess from issue 25 onward, it's not all that important to read them, but I did and I would.

Civil War: Young Avengers & Runaways (4 issues): nonessential to any plot, but I’m Young Avengers trash as much as I am Runaways trash, so I loved it. You may find it a bit boring if you’re not familiar with the Young Avengers. Note: this limited series takes place in the middle of Runaways Vol 2, I think in between #24 and #25. Since there’s no important plot, it doesn’t matter if you read it then, but definitely don’t read it before volume 2 to avoid spoilers.

Secret Invasion: Runaways/Young Avengers (3 issues): this one actually DOES take place between v2 and v3! like the other crossover, it’s not essential to the plot of Runaways. If you’re not familiar with the Young Avengers, you probably won’t understand what’s happening. As a Young Avengers fan, though, I loved it!

Runaways- Volume 3 (14 issues): like I said, most people find these ones to be throwaway comics, but personally I would read literally any content with these characters so like,, yeah. You should read V3 if you're going to read the Runaways arcs in Daken and Avengers Academy.

Daken: The Dark Wolverine- Issues #17-19: not necessary to read at all, maybe a lil interesting if you read Vol 3 Runaways bc it ends on a cliffhanger and this is the only time in comic canon where it's addressed, even in the vaguest way possible ("yeah, this character got hit by a fucking car. But they're fINE. Just pErFeCT.")

Avengers Academy- Issues #27-28: must read if you read Vol 3! You can either read the whole series just for the Runaways arc, or just read these 2 issues with the Runaways (which is what I did, but I went back and read the whole series bc I loved the characters, and they will appear again in a moment!) read for some wholesome dino fun (not,, but.. ehhhhh angst w a happy ending???)

Avenger's Arena (18 issues): battle royale meets teenage superheroes. A bunch of teens w powers (incl. Nico, chase, darkhawk, and some people from Avengers Academy) are thrown onto an island designed to kill them & make them kill each other. I understand that this kind of gore isn't what everyone looks for in a comic book and it's a bit childish, but I found it entertaining. Not necessary to read if you want to pick up the new series, but its events are referenced.

Avengers Undercover (10 issues): I didn't enjoy these that much (actually I probably spent more time ranting about these comics than anything, I really didn't enjoy them at all), but they are a continuation of avengers arena so you should probably read them if you read AA. Completely nonessential to understanding anything in any other comics ever.

Runaways- Volume 4 (4 issues): to be honest, I never actually read these. I tried, but the characters aren't even in it?? Why is a part of runaways??? The world may never know. Maybe if you understand more about Battleworld then it's more entertaining, but I was completely lost and confused.

A-Force- Volume 1 (5 issues): like Vol 4 Runaways, this takes place on battleworld, so like Vol 4, I was very lost and confused. However Nico is a main character and all the characters are totally badass and amazing and I have officially adopted Singularity so yeah? Also America Chavez is a BAMF. I think I'd recommend reading them? Sooo many bi vibes (bibes?) from Nico. since this takes place on a different world, it's not really relevant, but it sets up A-Force Vol 2.

A-Force- Volume 2 (10 issues): takes place back in the same world as the original runaways comics. I don't wanna spoil anything but there's more badass bisexual Nico. All in all, the series isn't necessary to understand any Runaways plots, but they are briefly mentioned in the new comics. They're also super awesome and if you like Nico you should definitely read them!!

Avengers AI (12 issues)- I've gotta be honest I never particularly cared for Victor so I didn't read these, what happens is probably important to the new Runaways but like,, I figured it out so you can too. I mean, I'll get around to reading them one of these days, I'm sure they're great comics but ya victors a ho

Runaways- Volume 5 (9 issues thus far): the new series!! Some characters come back from the dead and The Band Gets Back Together!!!!!!

I'd say if you just want to read the new series, the only ones completely vital are the Runaways comics, up to Vol 2 #24. However, all the rest are amazing (albeit frustrating sometimes) comics that I highly recommend you read!! They add a lot more depth to the characters and their experiences. I’m sure I’m missing some comics that they’ve appeared in, but I think these are all of the important ones? Correct me if I’m wrong!

Okay, okay this all sounds amazing. I'm so ready! How do I read them???

First of all, no one is ever ready. Second of all.. you have a few options, not all of them everyone will like

Buy them. Either at marvel.com, on their app, or at a comic book store.

Take them out from the library. I've never actually done this but once comics have been released issue by issue, they're then published as a volume. I'd assume some libraries might have these consolidated comics.

Read them online. I know, I know, this is bad. But realistically, not everyone can afford to buy every single comic, and not everyone has access to a library where they can take them out. HOWEVER, I'm begging you not to use this option for the new comics. Marvel can (and HAS in the past) cancel the series if it's not making enough money. Each issue is $4USD. Every issue that you can buy counts. If you don't have access to a comic book store where you can buy them (I get it, I live in morocco), you can buy a digital copy online on Marvel's website or their app. Personally, I only own one random copy from Runaways Vol 2 that I found in a comic book store in Madrid, but I own every single new comic either hard copy, digitally, or both. Please, please, please support these comics whichever way you can!! Now that I've made my plea, you can find all of the comics online here.

I hope maybe my rambling helped you somehow. I absolutely adore these characters and these stories. Feel free to send me a message if you have any questions or want to talk about the comics! Happy reading, and welcome to the abyss.

#runaways #marvel's runaways #runaways comics #chase stein #karolina dean #nico minoru #gert yorkes #molly hayes #molly hernandez #alex wilder #deanoru #gertchase #runagays

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t--o--f--u-blog · 5 years

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☼☼☼☼☼ also think tank a white lecturer using the n-word when quoting literature in a lecture? I think she used it once outside of quotation as well certainly not meant in a disrespectful way, just seems unnecessary

☐☐☐☐☐ better have a justification at least but if you just use it out of the blue it always seems like some attempt at provocation 'i can say this because my interests are purely academic'

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm we're reading uncle tom's cabin, so it's hard to avoid

☐☐☐☐☐ should only be quoted verbatim if absolutely necessary, if there's no alternative I think

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah seems like she could have avoided it pretty easily

☐☐☐☐☐ if she's making no acknowledgement of the word's relationship to her privilege, that's rly not good

☼☼☼☼☼ yeah she's older so there might just be an outdated perspective there 'I'm just quoting the text, it was anti-slavery so I'm fine' sort of mentality maybe?

☐☐☐☐☐ still she would know about the contemporary attitude to the word and she should at least mention that! ugh like it doesn't sound malicious or super super racist, but eh

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah I feel iffffy about it

☐☐☐☐☐ should mention it!

☼☼☼☼☼ Trying to work out if I should send email and if so how to word it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ be interesting to actually properly discuss it

☐☐☐☐☐ yep

☍☍☍☍☍ heck I’d be interested to know more of a history of the word basically teach properly why its offensive

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah, I might bring it up in the tutorial different teacher, but maybe good discussion

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that seems appropriate i'd love to hear how that goes

☍☍☍☍☍ uhhh there was someone who used it at Bar Oussou the host reallllly should’ve said something and I normally would but just too tired for confrontation

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah ☐☐☐☐☐ was telling me Sounded very cringe

☐☐☐☐☐ v unfortunate most disappointed in yhe host tbh

☐☐☐☐☐ he maybe had a old-worldy attitude to it and didn't mind or was too cowardly lol which do u think?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think he thought it was in the context of the poem she didn’t use it to degrade someone directly, but the word itself is degrading

☐☐☐☐☐ ugh but the poem is in the context of fuckin oussou yep ppl need to have a think before using words

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think its great to have a stage to do emotional work, but it can cross a line into normalising shitty white behaviour

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I went to a coloured school so I can’t b racist wah wah wah

☐☐☐☐☐ and you have to consider your audience if your rant is dehumanising or brushes aside/causes suffering u gotta reconsider felt pretty ashamed on behalf of bartender/various black audience members not saying that dumb white shit would be acceptable with a different audience, but her obliviousness was kinda astounding

☼☼☼☼☼ wow yeah cringefest

☍☍☍☍☍ lol spoken word scene as a whole can b so lame haha rings true to why I/we left

☐☐☐☐☐ mm so macho! that's what I liked about talkbox some sensitivity there, gentleness

☍☍☍☍☍ still, I just wish people read more lok *lol

☐☐☐☐☐ yep I wish I read more

☍☍☍☍☍ like the stylistic range is generally pretty lame

☐☐☐☐☐ I guess that's why anyone reads mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ I wish I read more too

☐☐☐☐☐ hahahaha

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ don’t mean to shit on everyon, I just think the scene as a whole and the conception of poetry is lacklustre - it doesn’t seem like the time for poetry, sometimes

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ppl too distracted by netflix uwu sounds like phones but too much

☐☐☐☐☐ doesn't seem like the time for art, sometimes! hahhh

☍☍☍☍☍ its definitely a time for music

☼☼☼☼☼ I think there's a place for poetry It's just raps and memes

☍☍☍☍☍ yeh but I play dat long game there might not b a place now but I’mma fkn make one whether you like it or not lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Oh yeah fair go 4 it

☐☐☐☐☐ loll

☍☍☍☍☍ I just mean that I think 'poetry' has evolved into other forms, and now the traditional form is struggling to find a place I mean does anyone pay attention to Victorian satirical cartoons? I don’t I think it’s also tho that the low brow is more apparent in the moment, the high brow more apparent from a distance the shit sinks, basically

☼☼☼☼☼ elaborate?

☍☍☍☍☍ time brings forward higher brow material while a lot of lower brow stuff falls back or like there’s an art for getting through your days, and there’s an art for elaborate long form spiritual liberation

☼☼☼☼☼ so u don't mind about a lack of audience now if your work has staying power?

☍☍☍☍☍ different works have different digestion time and yes that is what I’m saying

☼☼☼☼☼ hmmmmmmm

☍☍☍☍☍ hmmmmmmmm?

☐☐☐☐☐ personally I don't know whether I'm prioritising the reception of my work or its value to me right now i feel poetry/art in general are useful tools for thinking about the world useful philosophical tools i guess and idk whether i'm learning for the sake of my own knowledge/making 'better' art or learning so what I put out into the world is better received I suppose the two aren't mutually exclusive but yeah - feeling fairly indifferent to the idea of creating work that will persist right now part of me feels more comfortable with being lost forever lol or at least that I should become comfortable with that, bc that is what will happen inevitably

☍☍☍☍☍ I just think in this atmosphere of complete denial of the arts as an important component of society, as well as the stigmatisation of ritual and other mystical practices that used to house what we now might describe as an artist, its important that we follow our intuition rather than give in to a system that routinely prevents us having access to basic resources like I want to be there for whoever is there when this period comes to end and those peoples are looking for anything to rudder them, whether or not I’m alive

☐☐☐☐☐ you want to add to the cultural record?

☍☍☍☍☍ I want provide a map for future generations is how I would put it

☐☐☐☐☐ mm how do you feel one can ensure the persistence of their own work? or are you just hoping it'll be around for others I suppose whether or not anything lasts is out of ur control past a certain point

☍☍☍☍☍ for one I make an effort to give away a lot of work

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I also store it all and make sure that that stockpile is kept w care but I also think there’s something to be said that I try and operate within many pre-existing canons I also it’s important to use the more meme-y, short stay work to bring attention to the slower works yeah, re: canons, like tanka and before that wakka as poetic forms stem back as far as a thousand years - perhaps more by putting myself in conversation with the ancients... idk it feels a bit like entering a cultural refrigerator haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ sometimes I find it better to see my individual works as modules that make up a whole more prescient than its parts (Morton lolz) soo... maybe my work won’t carry the same weight until I finish, so to speak who knowsss but this how I think about it lol

☐☐☐☐☐ best to try and contribute something I spose rather than do nothing w ur resources

☍☍☍☍☍ I’m weird with this shit u don’t have to be

☐☐☐☐☐ mm it seems fairly simple to me and not that weird

☍☍☍☍☍ not everyone should spend their life tending their gravestone it’s a job for a particular type of person, and I am it

☐☐☐☐☐ but in a sense everyone does anyway everyone does things with the future in mind or without it in mind I suppose

☐☐☐☐☐ and i guess that influences what you leave when you die eheh, whether you do it consciously or unconsciously

☍☍☍☍☍ I just am particularly stubborn that I have something to offer - I think its partially a result of being denied that a lot in school, I found other ways to have social bonds that were more... non linear bonds with past peoples, and inadvertently bonds with future people

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ I find it frustrating that its seen as arrogant to suggest your work should be read after you die - if anything its remarkably humble as I'm acknowledging that I will never properly see the fruits of my labour it's a ridiculously isolating position to find oneself in, where your best friends - books, music, content - have no form of human intimacy with you and completely defy all survivalistic, lizard-brain humanity plus you're just on a total different dimension from most people you meet

☐☐☐☐☐ mm you're in a very specific position here

☍☍☍☍☍ lol goodluck catching up ☼☼☼☼☼

☼☼☼☼☼ unrelated btw

(☼☼☼☼☼ posts a meme in chat)

☍☍☍☍☍ see y'all @ da rally (in reference to the meme)

☐☐☐☐☐ where and when is this? oh oops thought you meant a real one

☼☼☼☼☼ hahaha

☍☍☍☍☍ xD

☼☼☼☼☼ structurally is the meme ok ? took the photo the other day, and just added the text.

☍☍☍☍☍ yes are u going to weigh in on the conversation tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ nah not really

☍☍☍☍☍ meme fine

☼☼☼☼☼ I have so little to add

☍☍☍☍☍ well hm why make memes? why not write novel? do memes have staying power?

☐☐☐☐☐ it's a question of what timescale is important to you at any given time maybe

☍☍☍☍☍ oh absolutely - not trying to infer a hierarchy here, I just think there are different approaches for different problems

☐☐☐☐☐ sometimes I'll say something to someone so they'll remember it for tomorrow, sometimes I'll say something to someone and hope they'll remember forever lol mm I don't think I care about staying power that much

☐☐☐☐☐ memes have such a short lifetime, they're like cultural mayflies haha

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah defs

☍☍☍☍☍ why tho lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Because the art itself can date while still inspiring change

☍☍☍☍☍ yeah so using it pragmatically like a single use tissue

☼☼☼☼☼ If you create something short lived, it (with the help of other artists producing similar work) is able to push art and society in a specific direction The butterfly effect I guess

☍☍☍☍☍ it's true that you have more effect in the current conversation

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ but that conversation draws intensively on a language formed by the ancients so the two are dependent on each other, a back and forth

☐☐☐☐☐ and that's dependent on their work's longevity?

☍☍☍☍☍ not following ur question

☐☐☐☐☐ not following your point haha hmm

☼☼☼☼☼ so you're suggesting a works longevity is crucial in that it helps reinforce and update the ancient language in which short term work of the future will be influenced by?

☐☐☐☐☐ mm also - what if of all the work you make, it's only a meme that survives the passage of time?

☍☍☍☍☍ basically... like you're just reiterating points that have been made more in depth in 'higher' brow culture - that's definitely how I feel when writing raps

☐☐☐☐☐ like Roman graffiti surviving on the walls or whatever

☍☍☍☍☍ did you a hear copy of the I Ching, the Chinese numerology classic more than a thousand years old, was found in the 70s and had a heap more sections and a different order? effectively completely changing the understanding of the I Ching gotta get those nice lead storage chambers ayyyyy ahahaha it was found buried in a coffin, obvs haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ a lot of Chinese philosophers only exist in so much as someone else described them

☼☼☼☼☼ But what does that changing of contexts of that piece actually mean for us? Is updated Ching from the coffin helping us in any way?

☍☍☍☍☍ I think for me finding the I Ching and looking over it is like a person in a thousand years finding a functional iPhone it gives great insight into human impulses regardless of time and offers a way of writing the past a new, which in turn presents a new future (thinking of the cowboy article you sent me) reconceptualizing the past IS the future look at 'Make America Great Again' or calls to restore the caliphate both are founded on histories that have more to do with our current state than the actual happenings of the past

☼☼☼☼☼ I do see where you're coming from I like the idea that it's important to preserve our work for understand the past better And I hope that someone in the future will have a clearer understanding of our time through your well preserved works But what fucking future is it

☍☍☍☍☍ haha but like looking back we see people been asking that for a veeery long time I get it seems on a new scale but we're on a new scale too

☼☼☼☼☼ It does seem that yes Also if we do survive and keep on teching on

☍☍☍☍☍ I'm for an integration of the human/natural binary where we properly acknowledge our mutual codependency, the earth and humanity that is

☼☼☼☼☼ Are we even going to be translatable? Is the functioning iPhone found by the future person going to even be able to be translated? Or will it be meaningless because everyone is already part of the grid

☍☍☍☍☍ where artificially effecting the climate for the benefit of 'nature' isn't seen as strange but completely akin to Aboriginal burn back practices

☐☐☐☐☐ i guess it's productive to hope that it will be translatable

☍☍☍☍☍ we've always interfered in the running of nature

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ ehhh idk we translated fucking hieroglyphics

☼☼☼☼☼ Or future tech can look into the past and someone is watching our lives as we type this now, constantly being understood through our context in a way we can't comprehend through our recording processes shrugs

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean yeah, imagine if the internet was even vaguely archived

☼☼☼☼☼ You probably have a better understanding of how the future will pan out than I do tho

☍☍☍☍☍ even if 0.1 % was kept, it would be a massive resource

☼☼☼☼☼ No sass intended there, I'm sincere

☍☍☍☍☍ lol idk I just try to see a bigger picture and it keeps me calm remember me old saying? we survived the plague and nukes lol

☼☼☼☼☼ I just don't see the issue with creating short term work, especially if it is preserved

☍☍☍☍☍ oh neither do I

☼☼☼☼☼ Like a meme may have more impact than a novel rn

☐☐☐☐☐ well it could be argued that we're yet to survive nukes but I see your point impact on various timescales

☼☼☼☼☼ I've heard the plague make be thinking of making a comeback too haha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☍☍☍☍☍ oh duh peasantry is fully hip rn

☐☐☐☐☐ but like

☍☍☍☍☍ bring back the boils, they look great with my Balenciaga sneakers

☐☐☐☐☐ lol bubonic chic

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty close to heroin chic tbh haha

☍☍☍☍☍ not jking that was tb

☐☐☐☐☐ but like, I don't find a huge amount of solace in the fact that we survived the plague

☍☍☍☍☍ "The Victorians romanticized the disease and the effects it caused in the gradual build to death. For decades, many beauty standards emulated or highlighted these effects. And as scientists gained greater understanding of the disease and how it was spread, the disease continued to keep its hold on fashion. and the severity of the corsets was known to harm the lungs in such a way that would increase the likelihood of transmission LOOOL

☐☐☐☐☐ mm Balenciaga look out idk it's a question of what capacity we survive in

☼☼☼☼☼ lollllll

☐☐☐☐☐ quite depressing to think about

☍☍☍☍☍ eating disorders have a pretense

☐☐☐☐☐ what if ecocide leaves a few insular eco fascist regimes who gradually diminish over centuries always engaged in pointless wars of attrition with one another lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean you could probably say the same thing of colonial regimes now

☐☐☐☐☐ just because we can survive, doesn't mean my outlook should b at all rosy :((

☍☍☍☍☍ point is its a big ol' world that has plenty of room for pain AND love any future pain you think is imminent probably already is happening, and nonetheless breakfast tasted good this morning

☼☼☼☼☼ 'The hipster middle class would dress with raggedy beards and large jackets and refuse to use deodorant, perhaps to reflect the look of people suffering from homelessness at the time. It is suspected that this made them less likely to be hired, and therefore more likely to become homeless themselves.' ☍☍☍☍☍ ahahaha

☐☐☐☐☐ mm that's true hahhh

☼☼☼☼☼ Planning on making this into a full essay. Might not be popular now, but I think it has staying power? Soz for shitposting haha

☍☍☍☍☍ I was talking with ☲☲☲☲☲ a while back, and something struck me - she said, "I never thought this age would have its own fleet of particular medical conditions." (or something like that lol, translated via my nerd brain)

☼☼☼☼☼ Yeah that didn't quite sound like her But that sentiment is great

☍☍☍☍☍ 'fleet'

☼☼☼☼☼ In that ofc there is, but also wow yeah ofc!

☐☐☐☐☐ mmm hahh these conversations should be recorded so we can all think about em without scrolling up endlessly

☼☼☼☼☼ I do like the idea of people reading these works in the future tho

☐☐☐☐☐ and also so that they can be preserved for 10,000+ years of course

☼☼☼☼☼ In the same way we read the letters sent between dead artists now

☐☐☐☐☐ mm very true

☍☍☍☍☍ mmm

☐☐☐☐☐ messenger is not a particularly stable storage medium and also is more vulnerable to third party scrutiny although the fact we're reading artists letters now means that medium is also pretty fucking vulnerable to scrutiny lol

☍☍☍☍☍ I fucking found the word! (sorry was searching for it so hard) Neurasthenia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurasthenia

☼☼☼☼☼ Americanitis lol

☍☍☍☍☍ uhh the page doesn't rly talk about this, but its like a condition of over-working effectively, and people would try and get prescribed the pills to treat it as a way of signalling they were a dedicated worker its total hokey

☐☐☐☐☐ wow yeah you mentioned this a while back

☼☼☼☼☼ oh I've heard a similar thing in Japan were workers will pretend to fall asleep at their desks to show how hard they're working No idea the trust behind it tho

☍☍☍☍☍ to this day, "In Japan, shinkei-suijaku is treated with Morita therapy involving mandatory rest and isolation, followed by progressively more difficult work, and a resumption of a previous social role. The diagnosis is sometimes used as a disguise for serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and mood disorders." a dignified mental illness uwu none of that lower class shit I'm a classy fuck with money, I don't get the same mental conditions as the poor lolol reminds me of now: I don't have shitty parents, I just have adhd (not to deligitimise all uses of adhd, just over diagnosed)

☼☼☼☼☼ mmmmm i feel u yes this has been a wild ride

☍☍☍☍☍ yes I’m leaving to get late lunch uwu have a good day in this cosmic spider web lololol

☼☼☼☼☼ :')

☍☍☍☍☍ Like the burning of this charcoal fire, our years too will soon expire Kobayashi Issa listening to Krista Tippet talk with Maria Popova, this particular phrase resonated with our conversation: we live in a world where disruption over-fetishised; we need cultural stewardship to help along new waves of disruption

☼☼☼☼☼ How would u define cultural stewardship in a practical sense?

☍☍☍☍☍ caring for the legacy of those past as a means of refreshing their insight for a new age a very straightforward example would b the importance of new translations, in this regard - as our understanding and depth of connection to Japanese society has deepened, so too have our translations dusting off the books so to speak in some sense I see that in our music too or reappropriating to a new context

☼☼☼☼☼ Well remasters are a time terry literal example Fuck

☍☍☍☍☍ time terry

☼☼☼☼☼ Pretty* not time terry lol

☼☼☼☼☼ lime berry yeah exactly

☼☼☼☼☼ Slime Jerry

☍☍☍☍☍ I mean rereleasing is an obvs example mhm but more abstract examples are how I’ve exported into both your brains Bridle/Steyerl/Haraway via conversation and art lolol I’m helping it move from one place to another same w Zappa lol

☐☐☐☐☐ also - looking after artist friends being generous I feel these are acts of pre-emptive cultural stewardship

☍☍☍☍☍ haha yeah definitely different time scales it could function on

☐☐☐☐☐ looking after and maintain communities

☍☍☍☍☍ hosting open mics lol helping teach ppl poetry lollll

☐☐☐☐☐ not allowing hate speech to creep into open mics lol

☼☼☼☼☼ Truuuuu Or anywhere for that matter

☐☐☐☐☐ not becoming so dusty that you actually have a detrimental impact on cultural progression

☍☍☍☍☍ I think religions only exist in so far as they have active practitioners

☐☐☐☐☐ mm

☼☼☼☼☼ Tru

☍☍☍☍☍ I think my sense is, in religion, this same argument plays out with orthodoxy versus mysticism Maintenance of buildings is in there too for religion People being assigned paid positions as the keepers and givers of religious knowledge oh yeah thinking a lot here of Shanzai, ☐☐☐☐☐, and the idea of an object as a lived practice

☐☐☐☐☐ when home I'm gonna do my best to archive this conversation mmm

☍☍☍☍☍ you’re going to steward our conversation bout stewardship ...

☐☐☐☐☐ this is all going in

☍☍☍☍☍ ...the tv where I am says “The comedian getting behind ‘Know Thy Nuts’” and there are big walnuts on the screen

☐☐☐☐☐ ???????

☍☍☍☍☍ “I didn’t realise chemotherapy would be such great comedic material!”

☐☐☐☐☐ ¿¿¿¿¿¿

☼☼☼☼☼ Huhhhh

☍☍☍☍☍ lol highly recommend https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?mt=2&i=1000429408054

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comfortmarvelimagines · 5 years

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4, 5, 9, 11, 13, 16, 18, 23, 29, 49, 43, 50, 51, 53, 57, 58, 72, 93. sorry i know it’s a lot but i’m super indecisive

holy shit thank you !!! i kinda want a distraction rn so this is perfect

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

going off what they said to my mum at parent-teacher interviews, i was disobedient (i’d finish my work quickly, go back to reading my book, and then refuse to do any additional work), too loud (i had no idea how to regulate my voice volume), and had no social skills (this actually happened. what was supposed to be a 10 minute conference turned into half an hour of the teacher telling my parents how behind i was, and my dad yelled at me for it when he got home bc ‘how i act reflects on him’. i was 10 years old).

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i don’t drink soda bc i don’t like the bubbles + sweetness, but when i drink water n occasionally juice i like glass cups. i reuse old candle jars as cups so they’re thick and i like when theyre cooler than plastic

9. favorite smell in the summer?

fruit !!!! i love mangoes and bananas and nectarines and passionfruit and when im cutting them up in the morning and i smell them OOFT i am a happey. my friend got me a fruit candle so i can smell it whenever i want now !

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

realistically, nothing. my routine this year is WHACK and its different on different days and apparently, according to my brain, if there’s no time for it on one day then there’s time for it on 0 days. throw in the fact that im still trying to recover from my ED and its a fun mess. that being said, this morning i made myself eat; i had banana, blueberries, strawberries, a blueberry bagel with peanut butter and some coffee (and maybe it was the only thing i ate today besides some veggies for dinner but it was before 10am hence breakfast)

13. lanyard or key ring?

lanyard. my keys are on a smashCon lanyard from last year, with a bunch of pins bc my pins kept falling off my bag

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

cross legged (except its more like a lotus pose, im way too hypermobile). idk if its a sensory/autism thing, but i absolutely cannot sit with my legs flat on the floor, and i dont really like chairs at all. i like my desk chair though bc its kind of like a bucket seat, and i chose it specifically bc its a perfect size for me to cross my legs comfortably and be able to work at my desk

18. ideal weather?

sunny, but not too sunny. slight warm breeze. not so bright that there’s glare. around 21-25 degrees celsius.

23. strange habits?

dude. i’m autistic w a bunch of other mental health and just a fucken weird personality. i got strange habits from the second i wake up to the second i go to bed

29. best way to bond with you?

accept me as i am. understand that there are some things i do differently, especially in regards to communicating. be patient and try to learn how i connect. i promise i’m trying to meet you on your level, but you gotta meet me on mine, or else you’re gonna get the facade i put up so people will tolerate me

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

HOODIE. i love having things on my head, so when im overwhelmed, hoodies are my substitute blanket. i’m also really picky when it comes to materials and i especially dont like anything too stiff, but i did recently buy a denim jacket that’s pretty soft so i’m trying to get used to that

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

i don’t really have one?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

probably something dumb that my dog’s done. he does dumb shit all the time. for example: yesterday, he was licking things when he thought i wasn’t looking (he doesn’t understand the concept of peripheral vision its p funny). i told him not to lick my brother’s guitar, which is just hanging on the wall bc he doesn’t actually play it, and its covered in dust. leon licked the guitar, and then acted all indignant that he got a mouthful of dust and stood by his waterbowl until i turned on the tap, bc apparently bowl water isn’t good enough for my princess of a dog. this is super off track but basically, my dog is really silly and he makes me laugh and i love him a LOt

51. current stresses?

uni, the fact that i’m currently exhausted and burnout from my jobs and volunteering and study, the fact that im super isolated socially, i feel like im not good enough for my course and i dont deserve a place in it, and the fact that my mum wants me to go to the dentist but dentists are absolute hell for me and i just. cant deal w that right now

53. what is the current state of your hands?

really short nails, and callouses on my four left fingers from strings (the short nails are also bc i scratch myself). the fingers on my left hand are stronger than my right, and i have three crooked fingers from when i broke them in separate incidents in HS. i have indents from bite marks on my left hand. my hands are super cold, not just bc its winter but they always seem to run colder than everyone else. they’re also really dry, a combination of winter and the fact that the packaging that my work uses in stock boxes makes them dry ? its really weird + also bad stim

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hhhhhhhi wouldn’t say i’ve fully ‘overcome’ all of these but 1. making it through high school and living to be an adult- i’d always assumed i’d be dead by 16. i spent most of high school suicidal and without appropriate help. 2. performance anxiety. this sounds dumb, but mastering this has allowed me to pursue the degree i always thought was a pipe dream, an impossibility. i’m in a place now where i’m doing what i want, something i care about, and i actually don’t regret waking up every morning because of it. 3. managing to navigate things like the crowded city, buses, work and classrooms every day. i’m a massively sensory avoidant person. post high school, i literally didn’t physically leave the house from a combination of depression but also not wanting to deal with overstim when it wasn’t strictly necessary. on one hand, i know im pushing myself a bit, esp when i get physically sick from being constantly overstim with no breaks during the week, but i’m also proud of myself for trying to manage these things now instead of doing everything in my power to avoid them

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

i’m good at looking after my dog, and loving my dog (and he loves me back so a talent worth having. i think im good with most dogs but ESPECIALLY my dog). i’m creative; i’m a musician, i’m a visual artist, i write, i’m constantly coming up with things. my brain is good at finding connections and memorising content just by understanding. i dont really think i have anything else

72. worst subject?

MATHS. my hs made me take it all the way to year 12 and i absolutely fucken failed it (im not kidding in year 10 my highest mark on a test was 38% and it really didn’t improve from there)

93. nicknames?

charles, and basically any way you can wrongly pronounce my name (e.g, chorlie)

#charlie answers #Anonymous

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survivingjapan · 7 years

Text

EPISODE 9 “That Damn Demagorgon” Pippa

[gif]

ok so I was close 8-4 against Isaac but Tommy got the other 4 votes.... idk what they were thinking targeting Tommy....like yes he needs to go, but did you really expect to be able to get votes on him right now?? I'm just happy my ladies Sarah and Brian escaped unscathed lmfaooo!

LISTEN UP MCFUCKERS! im pissed as hell! Isaac did not deserve this. AT. ALL. PERIOD. If alex didnt hardcore defend sarah this entire fucking day, we prob would've been a little more aligned. If trace (actually i forgive trace bc we barely talked) and kendall (that damn demagorgon) and johnny (YOU ARE NOT ISAAC, ANDREW, AND I'S KIDS ANYMORE. YOU'RE NOTHING. YOU'RE ROTTEN) had not been up everyone's asses about saving their asses, everything would've been fine. BUT NO. NO ONE KNOWS TRIBAL FUCKING LOYALTY. NO ONE. SCREW ALL OF YOU. this is like bb19 where all of you are so stupid to not vote sarah (paul) out or tommy (also paul) because they offer you friendship. oh and the india alliance is so fucking obvious, get over yourselves

HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE!!!!!! I'M ****SHOOK**** THAT WENT THE WAY IT ENDED UP GOING JDAFKVLABDNFJKLVNFADLJKVNJKLADNVKJLADNVKLJADFLJKVNAJKLAD To be completely honest, I'm not happy at all that Isaac is gone, but it just needed to happen because I needed to show Alex a lesson, and I know it may have hurt Andrew and Pippa a bit, but if I can work it to the best of my abilities, then we have a real shot at only taking down Villains from here on out, and I think the possibilities are endless. I also got kicked out of the alliance chat I had with Isaac (who left), Kendall (who left), Andrew, Drew, Pippa, Alex C. and me (who got booted), so now I know that alliance is down to four and Kendall and I abandoned ship so LUL More importantly, I have a pretty good position on my tribe and every single tribe member has a good level of trust with me, which I'm content with, and now I think we have a VERY strong potential to win this immunity challenge, but looking at that it's flash, I'm thinking the brains are going to go back to tribal, which will hopefully knock Jonathan out of the game. I wanted Music Videos at this point, but we get what we get and we don't get upset. Even though we're the beauty tribe, I think we have the strongest tribe by far. No offense to some, but Kage and Ashton are not too great at challenges, especially doing horribly in their original seasons, but I know Drew, Steffen and Dom are fucking all stars, so we'll see how it weighs out. I think our tribe is mad strong and we could be looking towards our first W as a tribe after this challenge. Time to devote my life for the next 22 hours to this challenge. Finally, I'd like to commend a RIP to Isaac. True friend, just a casualty *blows three fingers into the air*

These heroes know about each other's personal lives way too much....if I'm going to survive here I need to be REALLY inventive REALLY fast because I can't build a bond like that in a matter of a week.... I'll just have to use brute strategy and logic to convince them to keep me. I mean, right now, I'm clearly much, much more valuable than Kage so hopefully they'd at least keep me over him. After that, I could probably stick with Steffen and paint Drew as a big individual threat. From there, we could either help protect him, thus gaining his support, or make a campaign against him to Ashton and Dom. The latter seems risky though considering Ashton and Dom hardly speak to me.... If Drew can't be painted as a big target, my next best bet is to prove my worth over Ashton....cuz it seems Drew/Steffen/Dom know each other quite well so they'll be no chance in breaking that and I'd rather be at the bottom and alive than voted out so.....

So after talking to Pippa, it seems that she's in A LOT of trouble, and she is definitely not happy with my move against Isaac, and honestly, I expected her to be the one that was most upset with the move. The way she was talking to me was almost like ".......... okay what do you want me to do now?" Like she was saying how everything I was saying WASN'T getting shut down, but literally it was, and I was looking to better my position to get to merge, and then essentially just going with the flow and figuring it out from there. Essentially, I think I'm in a good position in my tribe, but I am pretty sure that Sarah is very likely to target me next, but I've got my second chance idol if I go back to tribal council, so I should be okay. I'm just going to have to finagle my way around this and figure my way out of this swap, but I also do think that Kendall won't target me immediately because it just doesn't make sense for her. I'm almost willing to cut anyone on my tribe, except Trace, to survive to merge. It might have to be Brian, even though voting for Brian won't work out too well for my whole Steffen/Crow/Brian/I thing, but oh well. I gotta stay safe ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

asfoajshfoqhrqototbie wubgwbgw; literally me having Sarah throw just gave me immunity and let me avoid 17th place as royalty Cirie Fields once said if ya cant beat them with dem biceps u can beat them with dem brains! (yet I'm a brawn but thats fine.....) Now if I could somehow scheme Junior out of this game cross-tribally hmmmmmm!

Just being here this season https://68.media.tumblr.com/401f8e72df04c376c8d989cdf135f514/tumblr_orehgfDnfj1t8a71ko1_500.gif

Okay since the truel is coming up and there might be the possibility of it being a double tribal, I know I need to get the ball rolling on the strategy. I hope I can bank on Steffen helping me out since we have the connection of me, him, Johnny, and Brian. Kage is too chaotic for me to feel good about having on my side Dom never talks to me nor responds much....Ashton is giving me no vibes of wanting to play with me So I'm working on Drew right now because I feel that if him AND Steffen both see the pros of keeping me, I'll survive at least the first vote-off we have.... Here's to hoping my sarcasm and charm actually work..... =)

I could go on a whole mess about why I'm pissed about Isaac going but I'll just sum up because I'm trying to move past it. I'm hurt. Johnny and Kendall hurt me. I see why everyone did it other than Kendall, and I really think she's just throwing this whole thing to Sarah. I almost pity Kendall but then can see her getting far. Not winning - but getting fat. And that's something that's seeming less and less like a possibility for me while I'm on this brain tribe that was fucked from the start. This is why a beauty had to go. So now we're moving forward. Last night, I called Junior and I think we're gonna try working together on this. Jonathan wants out Pippa but Junior and I discussed taking out Alex. Which? Is fine. Our relationship is just too strained. But the problem is - his chickenshit ass is probably playing the brawn idol tonight. So Pippa and I might just have to vote Jonathan. But I need Alex to not play that idol. That could be a disaster. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE ASHTON GAVE ME THE FUCKING REHIDDEN BRAIN IDOL. So obviously I have to play one of these tonight bc I'm not going home with 2. Everyone's kinda offline rn so I'll check in with everyone a little later. I just wanna survive this brain tribe. Even if I have to take out a hero, or Pippa. Fuck the tribal lines at this point. After being preached to for 18 days about "hero strong" I didn't really have reason to question it but obviously people are going to be selfish, and I wanna be too. Sorry if that makes me a POS ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but if we keep losing and I'm still here I'm gonna have to be

youtube

#returnrevengeredemption #confessionals

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drashleighreid · 7 years

Note

all of them :)

Sorry it took me so long to answer these lol1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?My lock screen is sasha and my home screen is sandra lol 2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?did my horrible embarrassing crush on my gi count lmao 3) What was your last text message?me asking my mum how her day was going lol 4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?I wanna be living in LA working on movie sets or a studio in any capacity possible !! I'm !!! 5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?honestly ?? Nowhere LA is just..... 😭😍 I wanna be here forever and always 6) What was your coolest Halloween costume?I haven't done Halloween a lot so probably Alice in wonderland. I have a lot of cool ideas but never really get the chance 7) What was your favorite 90s show?SO MANY!! maybe friends?? But also Rugrats cat dog the nanny the x files Daria Arthur Sabrina ??? What a time to be alive 8) Who was your last kiss?umm?? I think someone in a club tbh lmao 🤷🏻‍♀️9) Have you ever been stood up?Uh not really?? I've gotten completely ready for something then had friends flake on me 10) Favorite ice cream flavor?Cookie dough!!!!11) Have you been to Las Vegas?no :--( I need to tho!! Gotta go to that flagship Taco Bell !!! 12) Your favorite pair of shoes?Luv my Adidas or my birks!! 13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?No14) What is your favorite fruit?Mango!!!!15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible?I don't think so 16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships??? Who knows depends on the person 17) Do you smoke? If so, what?no. Sometimes w if it's available but very rarely 18) What do you do to get over your anger?listen to music and lay down, go for a drive, work out. 19) Do you believe in God?to some capacity. I'm more agnostic than anything. 20) Does the person you're in love with know it?No bc they're all celebrities who don't know who I am 21) Favorite position?Sleeping22) What's your horoscope sign?Scorpio 23) Your fears?I'm claustrophobic and have a fear of vomit and cockroaches lmao 24) How many pets do you have? What kind?None :---( 25) What never fails to turn you on?what 26) Your idea of a perfect first date?something fun!! Something active and cool!! Something where you can talk maybe like an arcade or smthn 27) What is something most people don't know about you?hmm.. a tough one. can't share all my secrets 28) What makes you feel the happiest?Travelling!! Airports!! Really good food!! Dogs!! 29) What store do you shop at most often?Probably target lmao 30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving?👍🏼31) Do you believe in karma?Yes binch 32) Are you single?ye 33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?Flowers34) Are you a good swimmer?I won't drown but I probably wouldn't win many races either 35) Coffee or Tea?Cawfee!! 36) Online shopping or shopping in person?Depends on my mood and what I'm shopping for. I like both. 37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age?I like my current age!! Younger if I could fix some shit ,, older if I'm where I wanna b then 38) Cats or Dogs?Doggos!! 39) Are you a competitive person?Depends on the thing. I'm lowkey competitive I won't #fight but I secretly rly wanna win everything 40) Do you believe in aliens?yes!!! Especially today !! Intergalactic alien day 41) Do you like dancing?Yes!! 42) What kind of music to you listen to?All kinds !! My music taste is a MESS 43) What is your favorite cartoon character?I relate to Lisa Simpson 44) Where are you from?nowhere bitch !! ?? I'm from Aus this question is weird tho rn bc I'm in living limbo n dont have a 'home' !! 45) Eat at home or eat out?Eat out!! Or get take out and eat at home watching Netflix 46) How much more social are you when you're drunk?A bit more depends on my mood n stuff and who I'm around 47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself?Taco Bell lmao 48) Why do you think your followers follow you???? no clue tbh ,, I feel like a lot of the followers I have now are just og from the vivaziva days 49) How many hours do you sleep at night?Can't function without 8-9 hours of beauty sleep !! 50) What worries you most about the future?not accomplishing my goals or being successful !! Not being happy or content ever w who I am and what I'm doing w my life !! 51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?we'd b friends she cool and tries to keep me in line52) Are you happy with yourself?there are things I can improve on. I'm not sure I'll ever be satisfied but I can keep trying and someday I'll b there 53) What do you wish you didn't know?The plot lines of my fave shows movies and books so I could experience it again. 54) What big lesson could people learn from your life?That life is ab priorities !! 55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?Hmm !! Maybe the friends apartment ,, or Mauras house !! Or Gabrielle's house from desperate housewives ,, 56) What's your favorite Website?Fanfic dot net 57) What's the habit you're proudest of breaking?Idk ??? people pleasing 58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?Does flying count ??? MCI-LAX 59) What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?hmm?? Probably some jackets. I'm not good at finding bargains 60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food?I don't like Chinese food... I'll make stir fries at home w rice and veggies n a spicy sauce 61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?The only one that doesn't sound awful to me rn is alaska lol. 62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?English !! 63) Favorite kind of chips?Tortilla bitch 64) Favorite kind of sandwich?Veggie patty!! Or avocado on toast if that counts 65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?Thesaurus 66) Have you ever been stung by a bee?Yea67) What's your favorite form of exercise?Martial arts or dancing 68) Are you afraid of heights?no69) What's the most memorable class you've ever taken?umm... at school prob gender studies but my immediate thought was this bikram yoga class I did like 5 years ago that was like a masterclass taught by some important dude and when we were meditating at the end he was talkin ab how we should imagine ourselves floating in the perfect temperate water and the sky is filled with stars and they're reflecting off the water and ur just surrounded by stars everywhere and the water is lapping at ur skin and it's peaceful n beautiful and it just rly painted a picture for me and it was such a #moment that I always remember how euphoric I felt in that moment meditating and imagining what he was describing and every time I'm stressed or am meditating or just laying in bed I picture that I'm floating in this big ocean surrounded by stars and it's just stuck w me for a long time 70) What's your favorite breakfast?Acai bowls !! Or avocado toast !! 71) Do you like guacamole?BITXH yes .. so much72) Have you ever been in a physical fight?When I was like 10 lol 73) What/who are you thinking about right now?Doing this thing but I immediately thought of Sasha a bc I was looking at pics of her before this to put on to customised popsockets I'm thinking of getting lol 74) Do you like cuddling?Depends on my mood 75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?Probably 76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?Idk I'm claustrophobic and I used to be moreso than I am now and I used to nearly have panic attacks when taking off on flights bc I knew I couldn't get up and off the plane. I don't get those anymore on flights but I still avoid elevators and things like that if I can. 77) Favorite city you've been to?LA !!! Or London 78) Would you break the law to save a family member?Maybe 79) Talk about an embarrassing moment?ummmm. Probably something in school . I can't think of anything super embarrassing that's happened to me recently I'm not rly fazed by a lot. I'm most embarrassed just thinking of the person I was like 2-3 years ago lol 80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in?Veganism!!! 81) What's the worst injury you've ever had?Knock on wood I've been very fortunate in my life w injuries. All I can think of is when I was in eighth grade I used to bike to school w a friend and when I was pedalling up this rly steep hill my gears fucked up and gave out and my foot slipped off the pedal because I was pushing so hard and the pedal ground up the back of my foot and ankle and leg and I got a huge scrape on the front of it as well form the road and I still have a big lumpy scar on the back of my ankle from it lol 82) Favorite day of the week?Idk or care tbh !! Sunday maybe bc there's an aesthetic 83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?yes 84) How do you feel about porn?I feel like this requires like a novel length response. The industry is problematic in certain ways but the practice of watching it is fine 85) Which living celebrity would you like to know?Sasha Alexander !! 86) Who was your hottest ex? no one on here would know anyone I'd say anyway?! 87) Do you want/have kids?not really, not right now, maybe someday,88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?well 89) Do you get easily distracted?I get bored quick 90) Ass or titties?Ass91) What is your favorite word?Colloquial 92) How do you feel about tattoos?Luv em!! Too indecisive for any but they're cool to look at lol93) Do you have any pets?Not personally...... yet 94) How tall are you?5'6.595) How old are you?2296) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?Umm ,, eyes, hair, and boobs probably lmao 97) Is there anything you're really passionate about?Veganism !! ;) also movies/tv shows, travelling, middle aged actresses 98) Do you have trust issues?Somewhat 99) Do you believe in love at first sight?Never experienced it but that doesn't mean anything 100) What are some words that you live by? Why?'The cure for anything is salt water; sweat, tears, or the sea' bc it's tru I grew up near the ocean. Also 'if you always do what you've always done you'll always get what you've always got' also truThanks so much !! xx

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