Wendip Week day 6 - Wendy, you are the coolest person I know
(Ao3)
"Wendy, you’re the coolest person I know. You were brave, courageous, smart and funny, and as a result, it shouldn't surprise anyone that I have fallen in love with you. But the thing is, I have never stopped loving you. I in those three years I have met many amazing people, but no one comes even close to you.”
Dipper Pines read the message on the screen of his computer, desperately clutching his desk. He looked down, where he saw the familiar, green progress bar move dangerously closely from one side of the screen to the other. in his last act of desperation, he fell to his knees and begged.
- Please...
==============
- No, no, no!
Dipper grumbled under his breath, and just to be certain, pressed the Enter key again, which unfortunately never unpressed itself.
- Come on!
In hope, he kept smashing the key that only exhibited a fraction of the mixture of flexibility and sturdiness Dipper Pines was used to. It felt alien now, as if belonging to a completely different machine, and it was that feeling that made Dipper's morning so bad.
But Dipper was not one to give up easily. A moment later, the black keyboard was put on the desk upside-down, and with a set of screwdrivers, Dipper Pines proceeded to operate on his most important patient. Years of usage has worn the most important key, but Dipper still had some hope he'll be able to repair it. The prospect of having to substitute his beloved input device was too grim to even contemplate.
He cleaned the contacts. He isolated the mechanism and repositioned it.
All for nothing.
- Oh, dang it.
He muttered and slowly came to the conclusion that his favourite keyboard broke down, and as the manufacturer ceased to exists five years ago, there was little he could do.
- Uh, Dipper?
Mabel's voice brought Dipper from his state of mind. His sister walked into his room, finding him amongst his keyboard in pieces, all carefully disassembled.
- Eh, something wrong?
- Yeah - he sighed - Can't fix it. I'm afraid it's gone.
- Well... - Mabel started with a sing-song voice - I think I know someone who can help you.
A familiar figured appeared in the doorway (at least as much as he could fit), and Dipper's face brightened at once.
- Soos! I thought you were going to come next week!
- Nah, dude. How could I not visit my favourite Pines twins while we wait in line for the biggest Comic Convention ever?
The husky man leapt towards Dipper and easily picked him up in a tight hug.
- Seriously, though, we are forever grateful to your parents - Melody spoke appearing behind her boyfriend - The prices for hotels are astronomical!
- Hey, least we can do for you, guys. - Mabel ran into Melody's arms.
- Oh, wow, what's cooking here, dude?
Soos immediately spotted Dipper's desk filled with mechanical parts, and let Dipper explain his problem. After a solid minute of chin scratching and careful examination of the parts, Soos gave his verdict.
- It's a very old mechanical switch, Banana FX.
- I know, they're not making them any more... - Dipper sighed.
- Yeah, but maybe we'll be able to find some replacements!
A smile appeared back on Dipper's face, and the two did not waste any more time. A few minutes later, Soos and Dipper rushed downstairs and slammed the door behind them.
- Boys and their toys, am I right? - Melody sighed, as Dipper and Soos disappeared from sight.
- Tell me about it. - Mabel rolled her eyes, treating Melody to a cup of tea. - Now, where was I? Oh yeah, most people think that all grappling hook guns are the same, but according to "Superheroine Monthly", the type of alloy really does make a difference...
==========
- This... isn't what I was thinking about.
Dipper expected Soos to take him to any of computer shops in the vicinity, or at least some sort of mechanics' shop. The two men stood in front of an alley, that even in on a bright, sunny, Californian day looked dark and gloom, as if something was absorbing the surrounding light.
- Don't worry, dude, I got this.
Soos made the first step into the unknown territory, and prompted Dipper to follow him. The deep and foreboding sense of dread filled Dipper to the marrow in his bones, but he clutched the carcass of his keyboard to his chest and ventured forward.
- 'Sup, dude. - Soos spoke suddenly, and it took Dipper a moment to spot what, or rather whom Soos was talking to.
A pair of yellow eyes opened wide at the sight of customers, followed by equally yellow teeth filling the mouth. The old-looking man stood up and pushed aside what Dipper thought to be just a piece of protective cloth, revealing a whole workshop with myriad of parts on trays and bags on display, all crammed, somehow in the small niche.
- Yeah, we have this keyboard to repair here and we need a...
Soos took a quick look around, closed the distance to the mysterious man and whispered.
- ...a Banana FX.
Dipper could swear the yellow eyes of the man glistened and turned golden for a moment. He dived his long, thin hand into the chasm made of parts, and a moment later, emerged with a small, equally yellow mechanical switch and handed it to Dipper.
- Sweet! - he spoke, forgetting temporarily the odd circumstances in which he acquired the item, but he quickly sobered up - Er, how much for it?
A wide grin appeared on the man's face.
==========
- Okay, this shouldn't be that cheap. - Dipper spoke to Soos as they walked back home. - I mean, five bucks? I was expecting to blow ten times more...
Still, Dipper was more than glad that the seemingly small, but significant problem in his life has been fixed.
- And, Soos, how did you know he's gonna be there?
- Oh, we, the repairman, we have our ways... - Soos spoke ominously - Our community is well-connected, and we are trained in finding hidden symbols and signs on the streets... Also, he had a website.
Soos showed Dipper his phone with "Crazy Steve's workshop", instructing people to "go into the fifth dark alleyway from the boulevard, and walk precisely until you feel that someone is watching you".
The very same afternoon, Dipper was more than pleased when his Enter key made the familiar clicking sound, and showed no sings of damage.
- Soos, you wanna play some games?
Dipper reached out to the guests of his house, having a very odd and quiet tea with his parents.
- Sure!
Soos replied and walked to his room, visibly pleased he can leave the awkward meeting.
Two hours later, Dipper cheered once again when his digital avatar defeated Soos for the tenth time in a row.
- Man, you got better over the summer. - Soos spoke, closing his laptop.
- I barely got around to play. - Dipper spoke - I honestly thing it's the keyboard thing.
Dipper brushed the keyboard with his hand, as if thinking he'd be able to feel something underneath his fingertips.
- Yeah...
===========
Dipper's winning streak continued throughout the week, and he found himself defeating even the most skilled on-line opponents. Another revelation came to Dipper about a week later, once Soos and Melody left after their visit to the convention, when Dipper opened a long-abandoned programming project, and suddenly found a solution he wasn't able to spot for weeks. Line by line, the code filled the screen, and even though Dipper hasn't his the "compile" button for an hour, he somehow knew he hasn't made a single error.
Satisfied with the work he was finally completing, he reached for a can of Pitt soda and marvelled at the nearly finish deciphering tool he was making with Ford, enjoying the oddly satisfying clicking sound.
It took Dipper a solid minute to realise what was wrong with it.
The code was still being typed.
He dropped the can, and nearly shrieked when he saw the keys on his keyboard press themselves with tremendous speed, finishing each line way faster than he'd be able to, as if a ghost was sitting in his place.
- Wh-Wha-What's going on?
//Hello, Dipper.
The keyboard suddenly stopped, and a single new line appeared in the text file.
- Who...who are you? - Dipper asked, unsure if he should speak to his microphone, or type the words.
It seemed, however, the keyboard was fine with speech.
//I am your keyboard, or rather a switch in one of its keys. It's been sooo long since I've been put in one. Years!
- What do you want? Why are you doing this? - Dipper spoke in hushed voice, understanding how bizarre the him talking to a keyboard would look like to an onlooker.
// I want to help you. That's what I was designed for. it looks like you had a problem with your code, so I helped you.
Dipper scratched his chin for a moment.
- Er, listen. - he started - I don't have anything against you, but... me and my sister don't exactly have the best records trusting something that has been possessed... So...
//If you feel uneasy working with me, feel free to turn the machine off. After you saved all of your work, obviously.
The keyboard replied, rendering Dipper speechless for another moment. He'd stay in this state longer, if not for a single sound that announced a new mail in his messaging application. The photo of Wendy appeared in the corner of the screen, and it made Dipper's heart skip a beat. Temporarily forgetting the fact that he was talking to a living, thinking keyboard, he rushed to read and reply to her message.
"how's it going, Dip? Still doing nerdy stuff, like soos told me?"
Dipper was about to type the answer, but then the keys began pressing themselves again, and he remembered he wasn't the only intelligence in the room.
"Allow me to construct a suitable reply".
The message now appeared in a cartoony font of the messenger, instead of machine-like one in his text editor, but it wasn't any less eerie to see it appear out of nowhere.
- No! - Dipper quickly replied - That... that is someone important, I can't... I can't leave it to you.
"Of course she is" - the keyboard removed previous line and typed a new one - "Based on your previous conversations, it appears your are in love with her, and she shows some interest in you."
- What? - Dipper asked audibly - No, no way. Also, wait, did you read my messages to her?!
"Merely scanned them for keywords and sentences structures" - the keyboard continued - "Compared to the average teenager, she uses 25% more emojis in conversations with you, and makes fewer spelling mistakes. She also describes the activities you share with phrases containing the word <<love>> 36% more often than usual."
- O...okay. - Dipper spoke. - Still, I gotta reply myself, okay?
The keyboard removed the text it wrote.
"yeah, I guess. You know me" - Dipper typed - "So, how are you?"
But before he pressed enter, he pondered for a while.
- Hey, keyboard? You think this is a good reply?
"It can be made better"
And a moment later, a different one has been crafted.
"Yeah, I guess, I am doing my best to help others, you know me. And how is the summer going? What about your college applications? Are you still up for our streams tomorrow? I can't wait to see you again."
Dipper's eyes widened.
- Holy smokes, I nearly forgot about that. Good you reminded me.
The keyboard added a winking emoji at the end of the sentence. Dipper hesitated for a moment, and pressed the Enter key, sending the message. He didn't have to wait long for a reply.
"aww, you're sweet, Dipper".
But it was the heart emoji at the end of the sentence that made Dipper speechless. He looked at the keyboard, looked around as if to spot anyone that could judge him, and asked.
- Do you think you could... help me?
The keyboard already began writing a reply.
===============
For the next hour or so, Dipper chatted with Wendy, each reply of his enhanced by the keyboard. It turned out that ditching the upper-cases Dipper was so used to has resulted in even more emojis and reaction GIFs from Wendy. Every few minutes, the keyboard gave him statistics, and it looked like Wendy was typing faster and faster as well, enjoying their time more and more.
And with each phrase, calling Dipper "lovely", "funny" or "sweet", his heart grew and grew in size, and the sudden boost of his writing skill gave him nothing but confidence. But the idyllic feeling had to end soon, when he heard Mabel's voice from downstairs, calling him for supper. He looked at the keyboard and whispered.
- Okay, stop now. I don't want to mess anything up.
He replied with a short "see you later, gotta go for supper", and walked out of the room.
It took only a split of a second for the keyboard to erase the unsent message and compose on of its own.
=============
Dipper was in the middle of the supper, when he heard it. It was barely audible at first, as he was so used to the sound by now, but the clicking sound nearly made him drop the fork to the floor. Cold sweat appeared on his forehead and spread down his spine. Without wasting a second, Dipper ran upstairs, and unsurprisingly, heard the familiar sounds coming from his room. He looked at the screen, filled with longer and longer messages, and when he read the last one, his heart stopped.
"Wendy, you’re the coolest person I know. You were brave, courageous, smart and funny, and as a result, it shouldn't surprise anyone that I have fallen in love with you. But the thing is, I have never stopped loving you. I in those three years I have met many amazing people, but no one comes even close to you.”
His eyes scanned the previous ones. "He" talked about the days he spent thinking about her, and the movie and song collection he was building up for her, openly admitting he was in love with her.
- No, no, no, no! Stop it! - he shouted at the keyboard. - Please...
"Why?" - the keyboard asked - "Don't you love her? Isn't this a part of courting rituals your species do before becoming a pair?"
- Yes, I love her, but... I don't want to tell her through instant messaging!
"65% of teenagers confess love that way nowadays."
- Well, maybe I'm not one of those.
"I'm sorry, Dipper. Based on my predictions, probability of you succeeding in this conversation is less than 10%."
And with that, the keyboard pressed the "send " button, and the green progress bar filled the screen in record-fast time. Dipper fell to his knees, staring at the floor, but he looked up when he heard a sound of the reply.
With some hesitation, he looked up, already feeling the familiar sense of dread and guilt swooping over him. His heart was already broken and his friendship with Wendy was severed once, he didn't want to live through it again.
But when he heard more replies coming, he looked up, and as his eyes scanned the messages, he realised they were not as gloomy as he thought they would be. His eyes widened, when he noticed more and more instances of the four-letter word he least expected to see from her, and he slowly rose from his knees.
- She... loves me?
Dipper jumped in place when his phone rang, dragging him from his half-terrified, half-ecstatic state. Somehow, he knew who was calling him, he wouldn't like either to leave it to just words on screen.
- Wendy! - he spoke - I'm so glad you called, I lo-
- Dipper! You gotta help me!
Wendy's distressed, almost crying voice sobered Dipper up, as he realised something was wrong.
- Wha-What happened?
- My laptop's gone haywire! - she screamed - I came back from the shop, and-and it was typing on its own! And it was talking to you!
The same flood of cold sweat returned, covering Dipper's back. He looked at the chat window, and sure enough, "Wendy" was still talking to "him", telling him she loved him.
- Wendy... did you let Soos repair your laptop?
- Y-yeah, how do you know?!
- Okay, Wendy, something has possessed your computer. - Dipper explained - Not a virus, or malware, but... something alive.
"We just wanted to help you" - "Dipper" typed.
"You humans are so slow with interactions. Bacteria multiply hundred times faster, and every second millions of processors are made by other machines." - "Wendy" added.
"We can't just sit and watch."
"We will spread, and soon humanity will don't have to worry about that at all."
- Wendy... - Dipper whispered to his phone - I know you've been saving up on this laptop, but... Look to your left.
Wendy Corduroy wasn't sure what Dipper was talking about, but when she followed his advice, she understood his plan immediately.
- Ready?
- Ready.
In two different places, two cans of Pitt Soda were raised into the air and tipped, spilling its sugary contents between the keys of the keyboards, one external, one built. It took the living mechanisms a while to realise their delicate components are being flooded with sucrose, short-circuiting their fragile minds, and att he same time, two screens faded to black, silencing their mute voices.
- Is... is it over?
- Yeah. - Dipper spoke, looking at his favourite keyboard, now properly ruined - I think it is.
================
- You know, if you think about it, it could have been cool! - Wendy's face on the screen brightened, as she reminded herself of the events of the past week. - I bet those thinking things could have helped with me with my homework.
- Well, they have helped me. - Dipper replied - I've been writing this program, and it kinda wrote itself. Shame it got lost when I nearly blew the PC...
- Come on, dude, you're smart, you'll be able to recover it.
A familiar, warm feeling spread over Dipper when Wendy complimented him, though at the same time, it brought back the uneasiness he though he had left behind a long time ago.
- Er, speaking of recovery...
Dipper blushed and shied away for moment.
- You-you haven't *read* any of the stuff those keyboards were typing between each other, right?
- Er, no. - Wendy replied in equally abashed manner - Cos it was... It was junk anyway, wasn't it? Like if you let auto-correct write for you.
- Yeah! - Dipper quickly reassured her - Predictive text, you know, based on what you already typed... and how often you type it...
- Didn't people do that with old scripts of some shows?
- Oh yeah, turns out they were exactly as repetitive as people remember them.
Dipper chuckled, glad the discussion moved towards movies.
- Well, glad I can talk with the real you, Dip. - Wendy smiled - Unless it's Mabel with your face deepfaked onto her.
- No, I don't think it's possible in real time yet. Though she would do equally good job as the keyboard has done.
- With what? - Wendy raised her brow.
- Er, nothing! I mean, saying silly things! That's what Mabel is good at, isn't it?
Wendy chuckled.
Her eyes turned to the few printed pages of text lying on her bed. Deep down, she knew Dipper hasn't written all of it, but she couldn't quite put her finger on which of the confessions were his, and which were the machine's. She looked at the calendar and groaned. She still had two weeks until she finds out.
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FEATURE: The Devil's in the Details, Dark Bargains in The Laughing Salesman
Laugh and the world laughs with you, as the saying goes, but having an unruly anime queue is no laughing matter. “Cruising the Crunchy-Catalog” is here to humor you with a retrospective look at some of the series that fans may have missed the first time around, in hopes of connecting viewers with the types of shows that tickle their funny-bone.
This week, we're striking a Faustian deal with an outwardly benign fellow who leaves broken families and shattered dreams in his wake as we check out the recent reboot of The Laughing Salesman.
What's The Laughing Salesman?
Based on the manga by Fujiko A. Fujio, The Laughing Salesman is a Spring 2017 TV anime with direction by Hirofumi Ogura and animation production by Shin-Ei Animation. Crunchyroll describes the story of the series as follows:
My name is Fukuzou Moguro, and people call me the Laughing Salesman. I am no ordinary salesman. The merchandise I sell is the human soul itself. Hooo-ho-ho-ho ... All people in this world, young and old, male and female, are lonely. I am here to fill the emptiness in all of their souls. No, I won't accept a single coin in return. As long as my customer is satisfied, that's all the payment I need. Now, I wonder what sort of customer I'll serve today ... Hooo-ho-ho-ho-ho ...
A series of morality tales about the dangers of hubris and the weakness of the human will, if The Laughing Salesman has an aesthetic that appears eerily familiar, that's because the original author Fujiko A. Fujio (a pen name used by Motoo Abiko) is one half of the creative team that brought the world the much-beloved children's series, Doraemon.
A Devil's Bargain.
Each episode of The Laughing Salesman consists of two-parts, and the series structure is episodic, rather than serialized. Each story involves the enigmatic Moguro offering some sad, desperate, or lonely person a seemingly perfect solution for what troubles them, but every deal that Moguro offers comes with a specific restriction or condition. Breaking that condition leads to dire consequences, but invariably Moguro's clients prove too weak to resist the temptation.
Taken in total, The Laughing Salesman is an exploration of sin, ranging in severity from the little white lies that people tell themselves to more severe transgressions such as power harassment and marital infidelity. The dark subject matter contrasts with the cartoony visuals, and the themes that the show explores are more akin to a walk through The Twilight Zone than a stroll down Sesame Street.
Psychological Horror.
With a few exceptions, most of the scenarios presented in The Laughing Salesman aren't horrifying in the classical sense of monsters, murder, and mayhem. Instead, the show preys on adult anxieties with stories of people who are terrified of physical, mental, emotional, and social abnormalities.
The consequences of Moguro's tender ministrations are occasionally implied to be deadly, but the fear of death isn't the primary factor the series explores. Instead, Moguro's clients are afraid of feeling worthless, irrelevant, and powerless. They are afraid of embarrassment and exposure. They are afraid that the comforts of their ordinary lives will prove illusory. They are afraid that they will get exactly what they deserve. And invariably, they are right to be afraid.
Dark Comedy.
Despite its heavy subject matter and diabolical protagonist, The Laughing Salesman isn't all doom and gloom. The series actually has a twisted, tongue-in-cheek sense of humor that leans heavily on the concept of schadenfreude — i.e. taking pleasure in the suffering of others.
Nine times out of ten, there is a sense that schadenfreude is well-deserved because one of Moguro's clients has behaved poorly and earned a swift and brutal comeuppance. Sometimes the punishment doesn't fit the crime, though, and in those tragic instances, the audience is encouraged to laugh as a way of holding back the tears.
No Refunds or Exchanges.
Crunchyroll currently streams The Laughing Salesman in 207 territories worldwide. The series is available in the original Japanese with subtitles in English, Spanish, Latin American Spanish, French, Portuguese, German, Italian, Russian, and Arabic. There are currently no home video releases or English language versions of the original manga for The Laughing Salesman in the US, so what you stream is what you get.
Within its old-fashioned character designs and its uncanny subject matter, The Laughing Salesman isn't likely to appeal to all anime fans, but if you're in the mood for the cartoon equivalent of black licorice during this spooky Halloween season, and if the series is available in your area, then why not experience the dark and refined flavor of The Laughing Salesman? Go on. A little taste couldn't hurt ...
Thanks for joining us for this week's installment of “Cruising the Crunchy-Catalog”. Be sure to tune in next time when we transition to a more mellow part of the fall season with a look back at a relaxing show that mixes up fantasy and gourmet cooking for a tasty autumnal treat.
Is there a series in Crunchyroll's catalog that you think needs some more love and attention? Please send in your suggestions via e-mail to
[email protected] or post a Tweet to @gooberzilla. Your pick could inspire the next installment of “Cruising the Crunchy-Catalog!"
Paul Chapman is the host of The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast and GME! Anime Fun Time.
Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!
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The 10 Best Faces of Anime: 2017 Edition
The human face – one of our species' most entrancing, fascinating traits. Capable of revealing the depths of the bearer's soul or hiding a person's true intentions, the face is the external cradle of emotion, the heart's fairest and yet most complex messenger. Tonight, on NOVA...
Just kidding! You're not here for a deep dive into the nuances of human faces and delicate insights into what the expressions we make say about who we are, what's important to us, and the human psyche – you want some gosh dang goofy anime faces, and I'm here to provide. Good anime faces are one of the medium's greatest treasures, with each new season of anime bringing with it a brand-new set of contenders reaching for the crown of best anime face. Some of these contenders bide their time, breaking out truly stellar faces for a moment of ideal impact, while others seek to make their mark with torrents faces.
Let me tell you, it was no easy task to break down an entire year's worth of quality anime faces to a list of just ten of the best contenders, but I have tried my darndest and present before you the fruits of my labors. You can either read all the reasoning, or just look at the pictures and start yelling in the comments. Your choice! And so, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the top 10 best faces of 2017 anime!
#10. Aguri Dies (Gamers!, Episode 3)
Gamers! (Pine Jam, Summer 2017) was sneakily good in a lot of ways, feeding us rich material on the smugness of nerd self-deprecation, touching little reflections on romance, and a late bounty of dunks on video games courtesy of my favorite character in the show – Aguri. But there was one area where Gamers! needed no subtlety: its excellent face game. Trying to narrow down the faces from this show was a truly daunting task, but this one wins out for a number of reasons. First, the mismatched combination of heavy, marker-like lines and traditional thinner lines provides an odd contrast that frames Aguri's deformed facial features – her mouth trailing off her face is probably the detail that makes the whole thing work. But the most impressive thing about this face? I don't have the foggiest clue what it was in reaction to, but it still works devoid of any context. In many ways, that's emblematic of what makes silly anime faces great – their ability to stand on their own apart from the context of their show. How about that? Weren't expecting actual analysis on silly anime faces here, were ya!
#9. Jean's Smirk (ACCA, Episode 12)
This shot of Jean Otus from ACCA: 13-Territory Inspection Dept. (Madhouse, Winter 2017), on the other hand, is one of the most context-rich faces in today's list. While those of you who haven't seen ACCA might be able to appreciate the smug upwards tilt of Jean's mouth and his coy eyes, the people who did watch the show have the privilege of appreciating that this smile is the culmination of an entire show's worth of political intrigue, spywork, and plotting. The twist and triumph this one smirk represents gives the audience a sort of deep satisfaction that offers an entirely different sort of appeal from the instant amusement that your typical anime face grants – and that earns it a spot on this list.
#8. Sana's Pout (Alice & Zoroku, Episode 7)
There's your typical anime girl pout, and then there's filling up the entire darn screen with your pouting. Leave it to an actual sulking child, like Sana from Alice & Zoroku (J.C. Staff, Spring 2017), to pull a feat like that off. In fact, Sana pulls a plethora of fantastic faces throughout the duration of Alice & Zoroku, including a ton from my personal favorite anime face genre, then > <. That being said, there's no way a pout this powerful, which conveys both her childishness and her earnest cuteness in one shot, could be anything less than the show's best face – and one of the best of the entire year.
#7. Takao Melts (Tsuredure Children, Episode 3)
What other sort of face are you supposed to make when a pretty girl seems like she's about to confess to your extremely low self-esteem self? It was pretty much all out war in the Tsuredure Children (Studio Gokumi, Summer 2017) camp for this spot on the list, as the show's face game was, frankly, unbelievable – with wobbly mouth smiles, tears by the gallon, blushes so numerous they probably contributed to global warming, moments of shock, embarrassment, and awkwardness galore. But Takao's face here topped them all on two specific strengths. One, his head is very round. Two, the mix of sweat, full-face blush lines, pitch-perfect pink shading, and his huge mouth are a truly phenomenal combination that make it look like he's just about to melt. #relatable.
#6. Todoroki's Rage (My Hero Academia S2, Episode 7)
Todoroki takes a page out of All Might's book as he storms away from Endeavor in this scene from My Hero Academia's second season (BONES, Spring 2017), complete with the intense lines and dark shadows – except, in his case, it's a face chiseled by rage instead of heroism. Pretty much everyone knows about famous BONES animator Yutaka Nakamura's contributions to Todoroki's fight, but the figure behind this epic face is anime character designer and chief animation director Yoshihiko Umakoshi. Although this shot is based on mangaka Kohei Hirokoshi's excellent original drawing, Umakoshi's distinct style still shines through in the inky lines and sharp angles. In the end, the anime version isn't hugely different from the manga version, but it's got just enough extra style to stand all on its own. You can really feel Todoroki's fury!
#5. Drunk Chain (Blood Blockade Battlefront & Beyond, Episode 3)
What's better than a sexy werewolf lady who can crush your heart with her hand while it's still in your body? How about one who can drink you under the table without batting an eye, like Chain Sumeragi from Blood Blockade Battlefront & Beyond (BONES, Fall 2017)? While not the most intricate offering on the list, the simple chibi-like design is actually part of the face's charm. There's a pleasing asymetry to the whole thing, what with the back-and-forth linework of her mouth and the goofy puff of her left cheek. The empty shot glass of otherworldly liquor is just the chaser that makes the face irresistible.
#4. Gabriel's Stare Contest Face (Gabriel Dropout, Episode 10)
I didn't watch Gabriel Dropout (Dogakobo, Winter 2017) myself, but that doesn't mean I'm not familiar with the show's inescapably good face game. The studio behind GabDro, Dogakobo, has made a name for itself doing cartoony comedies with fun animation and great faces, and Gabriel Dropout is just another in a prestigious ouvre that includes cult favorites like Love Lab, widely beloved offerings like Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun, and transcendent meme shows like Himouto! Umaru-chan, but on faces alone GabDro certainly stands on level ground with the rest of the studio's productions!
#3. Mikasa's Death Glare (Attack on Titan S2, Episode 11)
Can an anime face be just one eye? I'm not sure, but I'm sure as hell not going to argue with Mikasa Ackerman when she's looking at Eren like that! I'm not the biggest fan the show, but this chilling moment from Attack on Titan S2 (Wit Studio, Spring 2017) got my attention in a big way simply because of how much intensity and emotion was packed into a single open eye. The much-discussed makeup animation crew (more on that here) appeared many times during Titan's second season, but I'd argue this moment is their crowning achievement – if only for how impactful and terrifying it is.
#2. Sagiri's Bleh (Eromanga Sensei, Episode 6)
At this point in the list, we're well and truly into meme face territory, with Sagiri's infamous "bleh" face from the middle of Eromanga Sensei (A-1 Pictures, Spring 2017). I didn't watch the show myself, so I have basically no idea what the context is, but as we've discussed with some faces on this list already, many of the best anime faces are accomplished because they can be divorced from their shows. And, in the case of ones like this, they go on to become memes in their own right, ways of expressing emotion and feeling through our computer screens. Ah, for the face of an anime girl that expresses my true heart...
#1. Kazuma Looks Dumb as Hell (Konosuba S2, OP)
As much as it physically pains me not to have an Aqua screencap in this spot, was there ever any doubt that the most memorable anime face of 2017 would be this incredibly goofy Kazuma face from Konosuba S2 (Studio Deen, Winter 2017)? The face was an instant legend among the community as soon as the show aired, and went on to be discussed at length on Twitter, Reddit, and pretty much everywhere else for the entire season. As for the merits of the face itself, the bulging eyes, tiny pupils, streaming tears, garbled mouth, the general upwards slant of everything including Kazuma's hair, and the hilarity of the moment itself all pull together to make the best anime face of 2017.
And with that, I sincerely apologize for the fact that I could not fit more anime faces into this post. As a token of my regret, here is a small album of some of the runners-up that I compiled for you all. With that out of the way, it's time to hear from you guys! What was your favorite anime face of the year, and which anime had the best overall face game? Chime in down there in the comments!
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Isaac eases his compulsive need to write about anime on his blog, Mage in a Barrel. He also sometimes hangs out on Tumblr, where he mainly posts his drawing practice as he seeks to become a renowned idol and robot fanartist. You can follow him on Twitter at @iblessall or on Facebook.
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