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coffeekyu · 10 months

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That Was Your First Kiss? | Kyuhyun

Summary: You get extremely insecure and *slightly* jealous over Kyuhyun's kiss scene in his musical.

word count: 3.01k pairing: Kyuhyun & fem reader warnings: angst / fluff / first kiss?? / a little bit of crackhead energy

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You sat in your seat in the auditorium as the curtains close sharply upon the exit of the two main leads of the musical. You felt a little sour watching your boyfriend kiss another woman. Though, it wasn't like he didn't already warn you about it. He didn't do it in secret, AND he invited you to one of the best seats of the musical for you to see it. Maybe he shouldn't have. That kiss looked too long, and too deep.

Amidst the standing ovation, you couldn't help but sulk and clap only softly. You wanted to show your support for Kyuhyun since it was his first musical in two years, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it after what you'd just watched.

The rest of the audience began shuffling away from their seats to the exit as you continued sitting at the same spot, replaying the scenes in your head. Actually, they kissed not once, but twice. And he would have to do this for the next three shows too. You finally sighed - quite loudly, gaining a few head turns - and started to walk to the exit yourself.

"I wasn't expecting a kiss." a guy a few feet from you spoke to his girlfriend.

"Right? What a good first show", a girl beside him replied. "Hehe", she reaches to kiss him as they giggled and walked away.

Great, more reasons for you to feel even more uncomfortable than you already were. Why haven't you and Kyuhyun had your first kiss yet? Were you not pretty or attractive enough?

You began walking backstage where the main cast would be doing their post-show photoshoot - as you had been invited by your boyfriend.

You met Hyukjae and Kyu's sister, who also came to see the show at the entrance and greeted them. As you entered the room, Kyuhyun and the actress, Hye-jin, were already taking pictures. They stood close, but he wasn't touching her. You looked at the two of them closely and more thoughts ran through your head.

They do look good together. I guess that's why they were casted and put together in the show. Maybe I should be a musical actress too. Don't think I can sing as well or look good in those clothes though. ... Oh, here comes Kyu. "Hey, love." Kyuhyun walks over to you and wraps his arm around your waist. You stood closed to him and smiled palely. "Hey." You replied.

"How was it? Did you like it?" He asks as Hye-jin looks over at you and smiles, she nods briefly before walking towards a couch at the other end of the room... some of the photographers following her, while others continued chatting.

"Good." You lied. To be clear, the rest of the musical was amazing. The voices, the storyline, the directing, the costumes and down to the props - but the same two kiss scenes just played in your mind like a broken record, so broken you didn't know if they would ever stop.

"Hmm... I'm not convinced..." Kyu squints at you, bringing his face close to yours, inspecting you jokingly, before looking away again and pulling you closer into his arms. You rested your head against his chest and your hands grasped his clothes tightly because you were feeling insecure, also trying not to care that the rest of the press were still in the room.

Your relationship had already been made public a few months ago, so being seen wasn't an issue. Or that was what you thought at the moment.

With a mix of emotions, anger, jealousy and excitement, you quickly decided to give Kyuhyun a quick kiss on his cheek. That's when he pushed your kiss away sharply.

"Hey. People are looking." He says, slightly harshly and with a very light frown.

And, to you, those words felt like daggers. You were in a moment of vulnerability and insecurity, so that was kind of a response you didn't want to receive. You were already beginning to hold back your tears, though Kyuhyun still held on to your arm lightly.

"Kyuhyun! It's time for the interview." A producer announces from the other side of the room.

Kyuhyun tugs on your arm, though you were definitely zoned out. "Hey, let's go."

"No, you go." You said. You could barely show a smile while holding yourself from bursting into tears at the moment. You were supposed to join the dinner with the main cast and producers of the musical after tonight's first show, but, not in this state...

"Mmm... you promised." Kyuhyun pouts slightly, not knowing how much your heart already began to hurt.

You gave him the widest smile you could muster and pushed him towards other side quickly, where the rest of the cast were waiting.

"I'll text you later, soon." Kyuhyun says briefly before running into the room where everyone had also entered, and you were left alone all of a sudden.

You had been dating for just a little bit over half a year, and you both loved cuddles, so you hugged each other a lot, but you never had your first kiss. To be frank, it wasn't even just between you and Kyuhyun. You haven't had your first kiss... ever.

You slumped onto the couch and started to cry softly, covering your face in case anyone else was still left in the room. You honestly didn't cry easily. But every time it came to something related to Kyu, you would become a bit more sensitive than usual. You let your emotions overcome you for what felt like a few minutes until you felt someone sit down next to you. Quickly, you let the fabric of your shirt absorb your tears, before looking up at the person. It was Hyukjae.

"Are you okay?" He asks, as Kyuhyun's sister, Kyujin, also sits down next to the both of you.

"Yeah." You answered, while holding back a few sobs, still feeling the emotions stuck in your throat. At this point, you could just curl up into a ball and cry for the next 23 hours or so.

"You don't look OK." Hyukjae continues.

"Sorry... I saw what happened." Kyujin explains. "Do you want us to call Kyu?"

"No! No... It's fine. " You quickly rejected the idea of confronting Kyu at all. "Confront" wasn't even the right word to use since he didn't do anything gravely wrong. You were just sensitive and he just didn't want you to kiss him in public, that was all. But you couldn't help but feel feelings. You tell yourself it's just the accumulation of the events today, and that it isn't a big deal. Furthermore, you really didn't want to bother Kyu on a big night.

Your tears continued to fall again as a wave of insecurity washed over you. You couldn't stand it, and you wanted to be alone, but Kyujin gave you a pat on the back to try to console you. She gestures for Hyuk to leave the two of you alone.

"How do you feel?" she asks.

Maybe it was because both of you were girls, but for some reason, you felt a little safer talking to Kyujin only.

"Embarrassed." you replied quickly, tears still falling. "I don't know why, but it hurt a lot seeing him kiss someone else. I know it's dumb to think that way... and I already expected this in deciding to date a celebrity... a musical actor... but seeing it with my own eyes and experiencing the emotions myself is more painful than I had expected." You blurted out unexpectedly.

"Mm..." Kyujin listened patiently and hummed as you continued telling her how you felt, all this while with her hand still patting your back as you cried. "I haven't been in the same situation as you but, your feelings seem completely valid. I mean, I would be enraged too if I saw my husband kiss someone else." She explained. "... so you're not overreacting, if that's how you feel."

You nodded, surprised at her bluntness and ability to read your mind. You started drying your tears on your shirt as her consoling seemed to help. "Furthermore. Kyu shouldn't have reacted like that. That was what I saw. But I don't think he meant it." she says, referring to you kissing Kyuhyun.

"I know, I shouldn't have done it. I was just jealous. And it was in the moment. I didn't think much. Didn't think of the people around us who could've been looking." You admitted, still sniffling a little.

The both of you stayed silent for a few minutes.

"Well, I should get going soon. But you should talk to Kyu when you're ready. You really don't want us to call him?" She asks.

"It's okay, I think I can handle..." You lied, wanting to sort your thoughts out alone.

"Mm. Give me a text if you need me."

"Thanks a lot, eonni." you said, as she flashes a quick smile before standing up to head to the carpark.

You walked out of the room, intending to say goodbye to Hyukjae too, but he seemed to have already left. You shrugged and left the building towards a nearby convenience store next to the river. ---

The chime of the glass door tinkles as you entered the store and you nodded as the cashier greeted you.

It was half past ten at night, but you could use some coffee and a Crunky cookies and cream chocolate bar. Those were some things which would cheer you up and give you some energy on nights like these. You heard notifications come from your phone, but you conveniently muted them - not quite ready to talk to anyone yet. You figured Kyuhyun was at the cast dinner anyway, so it couldn't have been him.

With your small bag of snacks, you strolled towards one of the park benches with a view of the Han River, while sipping on your warm latte. The view was splendid.

One of the reasons why you loved Seoul so much was because of it's night city view. You stared at the lights for what felt like hours, with the warm sound of a guitar being played by a busker far in the background. You zoned out, breathing in the cool air of the river breeze blowing across your face.

The lights started to fade and defocus as tears gathered in your eyes. You felt a tug at your heart and you didn't even realise you were crying until a tear rolled down your cheek onto your lips. You couldn't tell if you felt like this because of how beautiful the view was or if you still hurt a lot inside. But you didn't stop yourself - no one could see your face anyway.

Suddenly, you hear your phone vibrate. As you checked, you let your tears fall on your screen which had lit up. It was Hyukjae. You briefly wiped away your tears and braced yourself to answer.

"Hello?" you answered slowly and softly, still a little choked up.

"Where are you?" he asks.

"I-... I'm at the park by the river. Why?" You said reluctantly.

"I told you I knew that was her!" you hear another voice speak, muffled and away from the phone, which made you flinch.

"You're the worst. You claim to know and you're still asking me to call her for you?" Hyukjae replies.

"She wasn't replying to my texts, I didn't think she would answer my call, hyung..." At this point, you recognised the other voice to be Kyuhyun.

"You're really the worst boyfriend. Really. Really. How can you not recognise-" Hyukjae spits.

"Tsk, it's dark- Hyung, I feel horrible enough, okay?"

"If it weren't for me, you wouldn't even have known she was upset. You, you're just... the worst" Hyukjae repeats. "Just get over there and sort it out. Quickly before you make any more mistakes or she's gonna end things with you like you said."

At this point, you felt like you were just eavesdropping on a quarrelling couple.

You heard the two men grumble a little more, before noticing the voices becoming louder and closer, and they weren't coming from your phone anymore. You looked behind, where the voices came from, surprised as Hyukjae pushed Kyuhyun towards you.

You muttered a soft "Shit." before hiding your face as Hyukjae walks away from the scene, wanting nothing more to do with this.

Kyuhyun sits down beside you in silence, almost crushing your bag of snacks before he moves them aside.

"Hey."

"Hey." You replied, still looking down.

"Love..." he calls... And calls again, not hearing a response from you. "Baby, look at me. Please." He sounded firm, yet not wanting to hurt you again.

He picks you up from your slouch and holds you up by your arms, and lightly twists you toward his direction. He holds you up for a few seconds before your head slumps onto his chest, still looking down and feeling defeated.

He rests his chin on your shoulder and very carefully pulls you into a hug. As you begin to feel the warmth tucked in his chest, you started to tear up again. This time, all the emotions hit you hard.

"I'm sorry." Kyuhyun finally breathes. "I didn't know how to react earlier." You listened, staying in your position, saying nothing. You felt him shift, trying to peek at your expression. "I didn't mean it, you know...?" he continues, "And I panicked, when you did that." You heard his voice choke a little.

"So I pushed you away." He admits.

You continued staying hidden in his chest for a while longer.

"Because I was flustered" he hesitates, "... by your sudden kiss." He specifies, not knowing what else to say.

Whilst still buried in his chest, you mutter "Why are you here?" Tears still falling, he holds you up and looks at you in your eyes.

"What?" he answers as he instinctively pushes your tears away from your cheeks with the back of his palm softly.

"You're supposed to be working." you explained.

"That's not important." he claims.

"But it's work."

"You're crying." You look away as he says this. "How am I supposed to leave you alone like this?"

"But it's work." you repeated.

"It's not important." He assures you. There was a brief moment of silence.

"But it's wor-" you were unable to finish your sentence, as Kyuhyun crashed his lips onto yours to keep you quiet. Your grip on him tightened, surprised at his sudden actions.

Your first kiss was deep, as you kept your eyes opened, still unable to comprehend what was happening. His eyes were closed as he deepens the kiss even more than you could imagine. After you were a bit more comfortable, you closed your eyes to savour the kiss too - though your heart was beating so fast you thought it was about to explode.

Kyuhyun pulls away softly and catches his breath, before giving you a last kiss as he disconnects your lips with a loud smooch. You stared at him blankly and blinked quickly, looking away as you fell silent. Your eyes widened and you looked back at him with a slight frown, muttering a deadpan "Ew".

"What?" Kyuhyun sputters. "Excuse me?"

"Those lips of yours. You kissed her with those lips." You said, staring as if with fear in your eyes.

"I- what? Are you jealous? Were you jealous?" He asks, as a pout began to form on your lips without your knowing as you avoided eye contact again. "Is my baby jealous?" he coos, looking at you, quickly realising why you had kissed him earlier.

A small tear of embarrassment came out of your left eye again and Kyuhyun, who quickly spots this, pulls you into a tight hug. "I love you." he says, and you fell silent hearing those words come out from his mouth. "And I'm sorry I made you feel like this." His voice turned a bit serious.

You pulled away. "But you ruined my first kiss by kissing me on the same night you kissed another girl." you said, teasingly but also seriously at the same time.

"Okay. Then that one doesn't count." he says quickly. He looks to his watch and wipes his lips with the back of his wrist. "It's 15 minutes to 12am. Let's just wait until it is the next day and I'll kiss you again." He takes his thumb and wipes away at your lips too, erasing your first kiss.

You couldn't help but scoff at his reaction.

"Do you feel better now?" he asks, and you nodded. "And that was your first kiss? You never told me."

You nodded again. "I love you too, by the way" you said in response, suddenly remembering his words from before.

He smiled widely for a moment, with his nose all scrunched up at how cute you were, staring at you as if he was admiring you like an artwork. "You look even prettier after you've been kissed."

"Only after?" You lifted a brow.

"No, all the time, but you look the prettiest after you've been kissed," he boasts, "by me of course."

"That's unfair. Why do you get to kiss everyone?" you complained with a sigh.

He looks at his watch again all smug and impatiently. "12 minutes."

You rolled your eyes, looked back at the view and smiled. "How did you know I was here anyway?"

"I know you better than you think, love." He chuckles as he fishes out the chocolate bar from the bag of things you had bought earlier. He opens the packaging and stuffs it to your mouth, before taking a bite of it himself.

"Hey! That's mine!" you whined.

"So am I." he winks before getting up and running away with your chocolate bar, having you chasing behind him. "I still can't believe I was your first kiss!" he shouts, lifting the chocolate bar up high so you couldn't reach it.

"Shut up, Cho Kyuhyun! You said it doesn't count!" You already knew that unlimited kisses would be coming your way for the rest of your life. --- :)

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