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morallyinept · 7 months

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Pedro Boys & Drunk Karaoke Songs 🎵🎤

Another (in)sane ramble about the Pedro Boys and their choice of song they'd sing whilst absolutely wasted... 🥴

Enjoy! 🖤

More of Jett's Pedro Boys here

Rated NSFW due to mature themes, and my inane delusion, mentioned below.

Joel Miller - REM - It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine).

The irony here is that Joel Miller is not fine. Far from it. Give that man a sandwich and a blow job already, sheesh. 😬 Then tuck him into bed. But you can bet your sweet, denim-clad ass that he'll belt it out regardless after one too many whiskeys at The Tipsy Bison. One hefty hand draped over the mic stand, whilst the other holds onto the mic for dear life, pressed a little too close to his mouth as he sings; stumbling around the words as they speed up until he's rambling and trying not to cry. Bless him, he's trying, darlin'. Take him home, prop up that big guy on your shoulder, and give him said sandwich and blow job. Everything will soon be alright again in Joel's world. Maybe... I mean, optimism never hurt anyone, right?

Francisco Morales - Hot Action Cop - Fever For The Flava.

This song is all about pussy. How apt that our muff diving king 👑 would choose this song whilst flipping through the karaoke song list book with the TF boys on a rowdy night out to blow off some steam. Washed down with plentiful foamy beers, Frankie takes to the stage with all the boys in tow as his backing singers. Benny takes the high notes. Will's bringing the air guitar and finger flips. Santi's... well, I'm not sure what Santi is doing exactly. Some kind of break dancing? Or he's having a seizure. Who knows? And all this happens as Frankie edges closer and closer to the end of the stage as he raps along enthusiatically about having the fever for the flava of the coochie, and eventually falls off of it, face first. Don't worry, Hermosa. He's not drunk. The floor just hates him. Miraculously, the Standard Heating Oil cap survived. Unlike Tom.

Ezra - The Allman Brothers Band - Ramblin' Man.

Lord Kevva, Ezra was born a ramblin' man... Give this loquacious prospector any sort of microphone and an audience and he'll talk your ears off until they bleed. The choice of song here is apt, birdie. Although singing whilst drinking, Ezra will more than likely throw out garbled gibberish than actual words you can understand in their entirety. Ezra singing this song when he's had one too many beers on The Pug, sounds exactly like it would when you sit on his face; muffled slurps around something wet and sticky that he's drooling on.

Dieter - Kid Rock - Bawitdaba.

Dieter has an arsenal of karaoke songs to sing when drunk or just plain high off his balls, but Kid Rock seems to be his go to on his bar warbling rotation. And don't forget he'll bust a move to it like Young MC too. That man's crocs were made for dancing in, right? Although truth be told, Dieter doesn't actually know all the words to this song; he just knows the chorus. Which he sings on repeat. Over and over. Even when not at karaoke. Or drunk. Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy, diggy, diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie. Sounds exactly like Dieter when he's had too much of the white stuff, and the tempo at which he bangs you to.

Agent Whiskey - Big n' Rich - Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy.

Not only is this Jack's karaoke jam, sugar, but the mantra to his cowboy lifestyle he upholds with combustible swagger. Whiskey loves a night out to drink, shoot some darts and croon away to his favourite songs that remind him of simpler times gone by, before the Goddamn butterfly guy shot him in the fucking head... And he has a special rhinestone studded denim jacket he'll whip out for the occasion too. Bling, bling! He's more shiny than a hot tin toof in August. Mount that cowboy and give him the ride of his life after he serendaes you. I guarantee you that Jack'll start singing the moment you saddle up. Yeehaw!

Javier Peña - Kool And The Gang - Ladies Night.

Mm, sophisicated mama, Agent Peña's got a single strobe illuminating him and barely moves, except for that little thrust of his tight ass in his very tight jeans every time he sings to you that the feelin's right, cariño. Oh what a night it is indeed. It takes a copious amount of Loredo Legspreaders to get the mardy Agent Peña up on the stage, but when that sassy cat gets loose? Miaow, mami. Watch out because Javier is going to get his claws into you after serenading you with his sexy ass jam and little butt shakes. I mean, how can you resist?

Pero Tovar - Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch.

You and Pero are nothing but mammals, so do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. Except, the Discovery Channel wasn't around in Pero's time. Not that it matters, he'll soon bend you over and rut into you like a drooling chimp regardless. But first, a little karaoke with an even bigger attitude from our surly Spaniard, before you bend over and present the all-you-can-eat-pussy-buffet to him.

Oberyn Martell - Another Level - Freaky.

Oberyn may be the freakiest lover of the Pedro Boys, or at least the sluttiest, and by rights this song is his mantra after one too many fruit wines. He'll certainly lick you up and down until you say stop. Crooning this tune is like an act of love making itself; those hips are rolling, those eyes are beckoning and that serpent tongue is licking all over his lips in a lusty appetite as he almost floats off the stage ethereally towards you in that golden coat of dreams. But remember, all Red Vipers have two faces; the curious one as they sniff you out, and the one they show you right before they play with your body, baby, n' make you feel hot…

Marcus Pike - Boyz II Men - I'll Make Love To You.

Oh, Marcus singing this ballad on stage in front of you, hitting those high notes with gusto, and looking all boy band delicious in his leather jacket, is just a sight to behold. And like the lyrics suggest, this gorgeous FBI Agent will definitely make love to you, like you want him to. Aptly, this song will play in the background all night too as Marcus ensures the lyrics are branded into your skin like a tattoo where they'll always stay. Until he asks you to go to Washington DC with him... Looks like poor Marcus is singing on his own again. 🥺

Dave York - Talking Heads - Psycho Killer.

Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, away! … Dave's coming for you. As soon as he puts the microphone down, he'll step off the stage with cool composure and will make a beeline right for you, baby. Reaching into his pocket for the cables ties he has stashed in there constantly, because... dark reasons. And you know you should run. You know Dave is a Psycho Killer… and yet, you're feet are not moving, are they? Qu'est-ce que c'est, Daddy?

Din Djarin - David Bowie - Space Oddity.

Here am I floating 'round my tin can. Far above the moon… I mean, this song was written for Din, right? Din doesn't need a microphone, the modulator in his helmet makes sure you can hear him in the back. And his cape adds for that extra swish as he belts out this haunting, spacey tune.

Don't forget his duet buddy though, The Kid. Debut album release pending. It's going to be wizard.

Marcus Moreno - Enrique Iglesias - Hero.

Marcus can be your hero baby… He can kiss away the pain. Well, if one Pedro Boy was going to caterwaul this God awful song, you just know it'd be our resident superhero. Imagine Marcus in his tight black t-shirt, specs and hand over his heart crooning deeply with powerful emotion as he belts this one out with intense passion. He feels every word, means every lyric, sweetheart. Then you let him take you home where you can play the villain role all night long with him and get him to reach those pitchy, high notes that a strong, heroic man probably shouldn't make...

Max Phillips - HIM - My Vampire Heart.

A little on the nose, yes? But who doesn't love a bit of HIM? Goths and vampires everwhere unite. Although it was a toss up between this and Monster Mash. Max'll sing this tune with a venti Starbucks cup full of blood, stopping occasionally to take a sip from the straw. Power winking his way through, the results are highly effective as victims everywhere will fall at his feet in the crowd under his rockstar-in-navy-two-piece thrall. But he can't stay long to indulge, he's got an audit to finish in the office tomorrow morning. Maybe just a quick bite after the song.

Silva - The Weather Girls - It's Raining Men.

Raining dicks more like. And Silva doesn't have an umbrella. I mean, this cowboy is up there giving it his all and ain't that the truth. He's travelled a long way to this saloon to get up and cut a rug whilst he sings in abundance. And aside from the unrequited pining for a certain Sheriff, this is the most intense Silva has felt in a long time. Let him have his moment in the spotlight. This handsome, rugged cowboy deserves all the worship, and men that can fall from the sky.

Comandante Veracruz - Alice Cooper - No More Mr Nice Guy.

We're alluding to the fact that Veracruz was ever a nice guy to begin with. He wasn't. Cunning, coniving, sly, ruthless... need I go on? But the Comandante can turn that nice guy charm on as he sings to you; luring you in with that hot smile as slick as his hair in the sweaty jungle, and those melty, dark chocolate eyes... It's enough to have you cuffing yourself up and following him willingly back to his camp, right? And the Comandante has no intentions of being a nice guy with you either, cariño... Nu-uh.

Maxwell Lord - Sir Mix-a-lot - I like Big Butts.

Maxwell is SPRUNG by big butts. Even his own. And he puts it all into busting out this song on the stage, equipped with some choice moves and booty pops to boot. The whole debacle is a show in itself and Maxwell goes out with a bang, a standing ovation and a new found sense of otherworldly superiority. It'll go to his head a bit, so best help him off the stage and calm him down with some, uh… butt action to bring him back to earth. Yeah. Nothing quite like hard anal to bring you a sense of calm, eh?

Javi Gutierrez - Shania Twain - Man, I feel like a woman!

An insanely happy, slightly sozzled Javi thought this was the best idea in the world. Oh, dios mio it's going to be so fucking goooood! He got up on the stage and swung his hips with sass as those familiar beats to the song we all know and sing to at the top of our voices in the shower, came on. And it was divine inspiration because sweet baby Javi G is on fire as he struts around the stage, popping that ass out and sings with all he's got around those wavy curls. It's enough to make you equally cringe and pretend you're not with him, and to absolutely soak your panties through in equal measure. You go, baby girl! Sing with him now! Oh, oh, oh I go totally crazy…

🖤

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