#could absolutely be an excuse for

[faeriekit]

"Okay." Danny slowly laid the already cold body back onto the table, ready to slide back it into the refuge of cold storage. "Okay. Dead guy. Stay there."

The body didn't move.

"Fantastic. Now. Hang out while I pour the embalming fluid into the pump, alright? It should only be a minute."

And it usually did; working in a funeral home wasn't extremely glamorous, but it paid the bills, and Danny had already been used to the rhyme and rhythm of negotiating death with the public by the time he sent in his mortuary school application. It had been a transition that made sense. And in the end, the degree had only cost him a few extra years post-graduation and a little dig into student loans, and now Danny had a stable 12-8 job and health insurance valid in the state of new jersey.

Today, though, the pump had that decided enough was enough. With a bang and a boom, the pump spat out a cloud of smoke and clunked uncomfortably.

The dead body sat up.

Danny scrambled over to push it back down. "No. We talked about this. Dead people don't move. If you want to stay here and have me put you back together all the time, you have to stay put. Got it?"

Whatever the weird gold-eye corpses were on in Gotham, they at least listened to him on occasion. They weren't ghosts, per se— they never pinged on any of the ghost detection devices Mom and Dad had packed in his going-away-to-college bag— but they were, despite being occasionally animate, perfectly deceased.

Weird. Danny had never gotten used to it. Still, they came in droves, too eager to sit on the top of the basement stairwell and lurk in the corners and stare endlessly at them with their weird, avian eyes, and sometimes they heralded the arrival similarly weird-ass bodies that had lost their heads or their arms or their limbs through the more conventional channels.

"I'm losing too much thread to all y'all coming in all the time," Danny complained to the dead body, who, at the moment, was the only person present to blame. "Stop getting your limbs cut off. This stuff is expensive, you know. It's a specialty order."

The body didn't even have the courtesy to blink. Rude.

"At least let them bury you this time. Every time one of you darts off when my back's turned, my boss thinks I'm stealing corpses. My coworkers think I'm building my own Frankenstein or something."

The corpse neither verbalized nor blinked, but Danny hadn't expected it to; with a sigh, he rolled the corpse back into cold storage, locked its little door (not that locking it in had ever stopped it) and called it quits for the night.

It's not like anyone was paying him for the extra hours anyway.

#I'm very pro Danny accidentally adopts a whole bunch of Talons #people have definitely done it before but this scene came to me in a vision #a horrible caffeinated vision #could absolutely be an excuse for #talon!dick #talons #dp x dc #faer fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #talon!au #dcu crossover #death tw #well. the funeral industry anyway #medical tw #just in case #corpse tw #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #free to a good home

[july-19th-club]

house md wildest show on earth. a main character outright assassinates a known dictator, a moment that would be the very beginning or the mid-series crisis in any other show - an act which creates a power vacuum in a foreign nation already filled with child soldiers and genocide, and it's literally only brought up again throughout the season because that guy's wife divorces him over it. and occasionally to explore his relationship with who he is as a person and a catholic after having deliberately taken a life for what he calculates as the greater good, but mostly it's about his divorce

#i no longer think wilson is the most divorced guy ever #sure he's been divorced more TIMES than chase #but the things he's been divorced OVER are way more normal #it is so nuts like . chase. bobbie. rob. bobert. what happened next. in the country i mean #like the president is dead. does his regime crack down extra hard on the ethnic cleansing? #does the power vacuum give the opposition a chance to step in? #how much of what the president said about the people he's wiping out having been in a similar dictatorship in the past is true? #does the nation descend into civil war? is the president's death the excuse the us or england or whoever is waiting for to step in #and assume ad hoc governance thus destabilizing the region even more? #all because one guy in one hospital decided the math was in favor of his killing a guy if that guy was going to order more killings? #absolutely NEVER explored. yeah do no harm and the morals we share with our partners are important #but christ alive. the aftermath of the assassination could be a whole show in and of itself and im pretty sure it just never comes up #house is a show #house md #q

[18catsreading]

Ally: cheese and grape jelly, are you fucking psychotic? Why would you do this to us?

Emily: it's just like the --

Lou: what the fuck is happening?

Emily: it tastes like the bacon is a little candied

Siobhan: I don't like grape-flavoured jelly

Ally: what is wrong with you?

Murph: Dude

Siobhan: oh my God he's crying

Lou: I'm not Murph, I don't stuff the whole thing in my mouth at one time. Brennan you've been silent.

Brennan: I move through life as a person, who I would say, for a person whose whole livelihood is based around adventures, I'm not a very adventurous person. Siobhan famously roasted me about I get the same hamburger every day. And in my head, sometimes I think --

Murph: every day?

Siobhan: every day, he gets the same hamburger --

Brennan: that restaurant closed down, so I don't --

Siobhan: yea because they made up, they pretended their meat was good, and in fact, it was bad.

Brennan: it was worse than they said it was, but I still liked how it tasted. The, uh, in my head I will imagine sometimes what a risk would be like, what a change would be like. And in my head I go "that change would be not my favorite." But then I go "am I a coward and closing myself off to new experiences?" And every time I expand my horizons, I get slapped in the face, and it is not fun. I will stick with plain breakfast sandwiches.

#brennan lee mulligan #dimension 20 #adventuring party #ep 7 a negroni and a bowl of spinach #siobhan thompson #lou wilson #ally beardsley #zac oyama #emily axford #brian murphy #raspberry mustard #the absolute chaos #i love Lou and Ally sitting together #i could just watch hours of this kind of conversation and banter #excuse me who the fuck puts cottage cheese on a baked potato?!

[tmnt-on-the-mind]

I will never stop drawing klunk being cute you guys

#tmnt 2003 #tmnt leo #tmnt klunk #dude I’ve been so busy lately but here have a drawing!!! :) #leo is absolutely about to kick klunk off the table #leo is the type of guy to ask the cat politely to get off the table before picking it up and setting it down on the floor #you cant tell me he wouldn’t be like ‘uh excuse klunk could you get down’ or something #and mikey would probably encourage klunk to go on the table to eat breakfast or something 💀💀💀 #god I have such bad brainrot #maybe I’ll draw that #dude why do I get good ideas whenever I’m not drawing

[vellichorom]

so maybe he’s taken the sexysweep loss a little hard,

( NOTE; this comic does NOT reflect the views of the artist or is in ANY way meant to chastise / guilt the opposing side OR fault the voters, this is just a little in-character fun on my part & in no way was created with malicious intent! )

CONGRATULATIONS @braisedhoney, I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! & ANOTHER THANK YOU TO @tsp-narrator-ask​ FOR FEATURING MY NARR IN THE COMPETTITION! earnestly looking forward to seeing who brings home the gold!

( ps also featuring @tomi-chuu‘s stanley because how could i ever not )

#uwu art #Narratorsweep #The Stanley Parable #The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe #TSP Narrator #TSP Stanley #ACTUALLY PLANNED THIS OUT DAY OF THE LAST BRACKET LAUNCHING #BECAUSE I WAS LIKE ' well wouldn't it be funny ' #now it's given me the godawful idea to like. draw all the losers having a party somewhere or something like that #just as an excuse to draw more narrators #MAYBE.... #BUT ANYWAY YAY BRAISEDHONEY WHO IS VERY NICE TO MEEEE #& HAS AWESOME ART they absolutely deserved the win #LET'S SEE IF THEY CAN BRING IT HOME TOO EH #edit; ALSO THE FULL TEXT ON THE LAST PANEL SAYS- #' GWUHHHGHHH STAHANLEEEHEHEYYY ICANT BELHEIVE THIS IM A LAUGHGINSTOPCK ADNA NOBODY I NEVER SHOULGDVE ENTERED THIS SHTUPID CONTEST I WAS SO #CONFIDGENT I DIDNT THHINK I WAS ALL THAT BAD LOOKINGK BUT AFTER I LOST TO THAT HIPPY DIPPY HAIRED PRIEST LOOKING MAN I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO #THINK STANLEY AM I UGLY AM I UGLY AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME IM UGLY ARENT IOHMY GOODD I CAN NEVER SHOW MY FACE IN THIS FANDOM ER MULTIVERSE #AGAIN HOW COULD I EVER WUGHUGHJK MY TUMMY HURTS GWUHHHHGHHH STAHANLEEEEHEYHEYYY '

[thespiritssaidso]

I feel like at some point during the show Shawn should have made a bet that he could solve a case without using his (fake) psychic powers.

#it would’ve been great #he’d just be solving the case like normal and absolutely winning the bet #OR #he could be struggling #because now he doesn’t have an excuse for when he breaks into someone’s house or office #psych #shawn spencer #psych 2006 #psych usa #psychusa #psych tv #psych show #psych tv show

[chickenoptyrx]

Its 1am, so I am once again posting a wip/preview thing of a comic im physically fighting myself to just finish up

#i dont think its a good habit to post wips #buuuuuuttttttt #to be fair this is more of a preview #and i think its my favorite panel on the page #and. and. more importantly #i wanna :U #lol i literally only have 3 more panels to draw #if i would just sit down and focus i could knock it out #but im absolutely not gonna do that #heh heh this is also an excuse to tag rant #i read and watched annihilation so now theres mushrooms everywhere #imma start the 2nd book once this is done

[mollysunder]

I recognize there would be a lot of emotional and narrative weight if Jinx ever puts on Silco's jacket.

But wouldn't it be DOPE as hell if Jinx stole Finn's wardrobe!!??!

For all of Finn's faults he had a killer sense of style. Finn's look makes a great contrast to Silco, because Silco's look balances elegance with simplicity and practicality (you can tell he restitches his pant seams), but with Finn you've got this brightly colored intricately detailed look to express this newer brasher generation in Zaun.

And you could argue Jinx is designed as a decent blend of these two different aesthetics, at least in Gilded series.

I've already talked about Gilded universe where Piltover never built the sun gates, Jinx suspiciously dresses like a chembaron.

But if you dive deeper into the concept arts you can see how flexible Riot's artists see Jinx's tastes and style is, especially when elevated with wealth.

You've got classic punk + eccentric cybergoth chemboss.

Then you've got Jinx as an ornate lady with chemtech business vibes. (Jinx with glasses, what a concept.)

I'm not sure what to call this, but it looks like more of a mix between a saboteur and a tinkerer.

The rest are more play around with trying to adapt Piltovan academia into Jinx's aesthetic with varying success.

Long story short, Jinx needs to raid Finn's closet next season. I see Jinx threatening what's left of Finn and Renni's gang into submission for the whole "attempting to kill Silco" thing. One of her demands is all of Finn's clothes for her to customize as she pleases. I'm sure Silco left all her all his coats, cloths, and furs for Jinx in his will (with a clause to ensure she still gets it in case of manslaughter).

#arcane #jinx arcane #silco #finn arcane #just another excuse to talk about the gilded series #seriously tho jinx could absolutely pull more from Finn's aesthetic #right now i find her outfit pretty muted in terms of color for a caustic and loud place like zaun #also her outfit is solidly modern and if you want to do that in a place with 1890s-1920s aesthetic it needs to be hypermodern fashion then #the artists know all important people in zaun get fancy jackets #i should talk more about other gilded characters

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

adhd is great bc you'll be sitting there wondering why you feel so physically ill & fatigued, and then you'll realize that is 4 pm and all you've eaten today was a couple pieces of raw cauliflower w/ ranch at 10 am

#and everytime its like ‼️😲💡 #ohhhhh Thats why i feel sick! who could have guessed! #a real '☝️🤓💡 Urethra!!!!!' moment smh #if you will all excuse me im going to consume some ramen #gotta feed the eels.... #absolutely unprompted

[faeriekit]

#i'm very pro danny accidentally adopts a whole bunch of talons previous installments

*

The next day, the body was back.

The green was gone from its eyes, but the awareness wasn't; it spent about an hour watching people go around outside Danny's apartment, which was new behavior. None of the corpses that shadowed him had shown any interest in garden-variety humans before. Now it sat at the window and watched families come home from school or head to their afternoon shifts.

That went into Danny's notes.

After that hour, it taught itself to flush the toilet repeatedly, rearranged the contents of Danny's half-assed linen closet (again) and then stood hovering over the safe where Danny had stashed the ectoplasm.

"...Okay," said Danny.

The dead body croaked. It was a new sound, but there was no context for it. Danny just kind of...wrote it down and hoped for the best.

The day after, Danny woke up at a very reasonable ten forty eight in the morning to find stray corpses feeding each other spoonfuls of ectoplasm in the kitchen.

At that point he kind of had to throw out the notes on how much each one was dosed with, because what the fuck.

"Really?!" Danny shouted, spooking the bodies into fleeing behind chairs and doors and back into his closet again. The only one that didn't flee was Danny's ringmaster corpse of the hour, of course. "You really couldn't wait??"

It stuck out a withered black tongue out at the mortician, who was, really, the victim in all of this. A victim to his parents' whims and a victim to the dead people who followed him around all the time.

This was how Danny found out that, when it doubt, the corpses could just tear through solid steel if they were motivated enough. The finger-marks were so deep and so embedded that they actually looked more like rough claws in the metal.

Great.

Danny ordered a new locking cage for the fridge on Prime and darted off to work. One of his regulars was on the table, though, so Danny just ended up doing what he would have at home— sewing up a gash in its neck and reattaching dead fingers back onto dead stumps.

On the third day, in which four of Danny's frequent fliers had learned from the first how to flush the toilet (and therefore raise the water bill immensely) Danny got a ring from a dark voice he (almost) recognized.

"Is he here?"

Danny squinted, jerking the phone further under his ear as he whipped up some scrambled eggs. The dead girl leaning over his shoulder leaned a little closer to watch the egg froth up. "Is who here? Who is this?"

"This is Batman. Is— the body requisitioned from your facility currently at your place of residence?"

Danny fully let go of the whisk. It landed haphazardly in the glass bowl he'd been stirring in. "What on Earth is a Batman?" he asked, incredulous.

"I visited your workplace previously."

Oh! "Yeah, the cop's friend. I remember now." Danny pulled the whisk out of the liquid eggs and held it out to the body. The unusually animate cadaver mostly prodded the whisk wires and paid no attention to him. "No one's here but me, though. Not that it's your business...?"

"And there are no non-living bodies currently in your apartment?"

Danny ignored the flushing noise in the other room. "I don't know, dude. They practically live in the walls at this point. Don't come over unless you have a warrant."

The call ended with a click.

His omelette turned out amazing, by the way. In case you were wondering.

On the fourth day, the ectoplasm was gone, because the corpses had apparently all taught each other how to lockpick the container in the fridge.

"Okay, some of that was meant to be my dinner. No more lotion at the funeral home now, okay? Now you all can be ashy forever. I'm so serious," Danny complained to the only visible dead person in the room.

The dead person held up a cracked egg. It was probably a gesture of peace, but now there was egg on his vinyl flooring to deal with. And. It wasn't exactly all that comforting in the end.

On the fifth day, Danny awoke to the sensation of a hand jamming itself through his neck until it punched into the mattress beneath him.

Fuck.

#dp x dc #I'm very pro Danny accidentally adopts a whole bunch of talons #could absolutely be an excuse for #talon!dick #talons #faer fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #death tw #well. the funeral industry anyway #medical tw #corpse tw #dead people #dcu crossover #the original post is free to a good home but I'm just chugging along here

[cillianmurphys]

CHARLES LECLERC during FP1

ITALIAN GP 2023 / Sep. 1 FRI

#charles leclerc #f1edit #f1 gifs #charlesleclercedit #f1 #italian gp 2023 #ferrari #my edits #well. pls excuse the absolute terrible quality i could not find a better version of this but i wanted to make it rn anyway

[island-in-the-shadows]

I've been seeing posts about that last scene between Oliver and Venetia and I definitely think it's a scene worth highlighting more. And yes, she's right for a LOT of it. And yes, it's very interesting that Oliver was openly crying even before he has his Category 5 Hurricane level breakdown at the grave. One of the things I personally find interesting is her scoffing at: you only knew him 6 months. Yes, that's true. And yes, Venetia is drunk and grieving and she lost her brother so comparatively Oliver crying so much would be silly. If I lost one of my brothers and some guy who'd known him six months was having a breakdown I would feel like that person is being ridiculous and that their grief means nothing compared to mine because I knew my brother for a whole life. I understand her perspective very well.

But I also think about things from Oliver's perspective. Of course, Venetia doesn't know that Oliver has (gonna go with has cuz 15+ years later he's still into Felix) these consuming feelings about Felix. She belittles his grief and, by extension, his love. Six months is not a lot of time. But six months is also PLENTY for people who fall in love. And if we include the time he was smitten but didn't actually interact with Felix, Oliver has been actively high on Felix for at least nine months at this point. I say high because that's (in a chemical sense) basically what happens when you're in love or super into someone.

So yeah he killed Felix (and I still think part of him held out for it not working at all). And yeah, he knew him for only six months. But, to him, the grief is seriously intense. All those good chemicals in his brain that were high on Felix are depleted and he's in a state of withdrawal. Is it any wonder he was wearing Felix's aftershave or wearing his clothes? They are tangible ways to feel like Felix is still there. And yes, I know there's also he partially wanted to be Felix thing but that's not what it is here. Smell is powerfully linked to memory. Smelling Felix's aftershave could easily trick his brain into believing Felix is there. Wearing his clothes has him feeling connected. Idk I just find his grieving process interesting as fuck especially given the circumstances and that he's trying to stay at Saltburn no matter what (though, again, I personally view this as going back to Felix).

TL;DR: Venetia is Mother for calling him out. Six months is quite a bit when you're in love with someone so Oliver probably felt belittled when Venetia dismissed his grief.

#saltburn #oliver quick #venetia catton #felix catton #i get his grief but it's still no fucking excuse for facilitating venetia's suicide #like you absolute ass and he would still not go down for murder even if he was found out #my family is full of lawyers and i can tell you that except in elspeth's case #he could not be charged with murder #i mean idk uk law of course #but in the US he definitely wouldn't go down for murder re felix and venetia #in the us it would prob be some form of manslaughter

[apotelesmaa]

Norma is objectively one of the funniest psychonauts characters though. she immediately assumes this 10 year old is the mole taking down the psychonauts from the inside and decides the best way to gather information is to stalk his dad. Ruins ford and raz’s plan to defeat maligula by being a snitch. Helped save the day by fixing the problem she caused. Is now in hell because she was wrong and all the other kids make her fortnite dance and shout go snitch girl go. Her sister got all the cool genes and now she’s stuck being an insufferable nerd. Probably says “well actually” at least ten times a day. Beefing with a 10 year old. Let’s give it up for pathetic & annoying female characters (fond).

#psychonauts #i don’t even think her thinking raz was the mole was unreasonable tbh #like obviously the adults are like this 10 year old isn’t the snitch #but she’s close enough to his age to not see that as an excuse and also I feel like that just made her feel like she was #the only one who could do anything about it. #by virtue of being the main character raz was involved in a lot of shit that made him seem suspicious #like I do enjoy her a lot even if I don’t necessarily agree with a lot of the fanon interpretations of her character #& I would love to see her and raz be worsties one day #because yes raz is only ten but he absolutely contributes to their beef on purpose #it’s like one of those things where u can’t snitch on him for being an ass because he’s ten and you’re a teenager #& people are like ohh norma come on he’s just 10 stop beefing with a child that’s stupid #and behind their back raz is making faces at her #i think they have great potential for antagonistic sibling energy once they get to know each other #raz behaves normally around the rest of the jr agents specifically to gaslight norma into thinking she’s an idiot for beefing with a child. #lili & lizzie would also absolutely help with this #god esp because raz has endeared himself so much to all of the big name agents AND Truman zanotto #i need 2 play psychonauts 2 again I’m so normal about this game

[nat-without-a-g]

Solely because I like to hurt my emotions, I want Lark to remember his experience in Oakvake pretty fondly.

It’s one of the last times he can remember being happy with his dad! He got to do fun stuff like dungeon crawling and running away from his grandma autumn! His dad let him participate in a fight, and in pretty sure he got French fries out of the experience too.

In contrast; I want sparrow to fucking HATE Oakvale because of the fight with Barry and Lark getting literally murdered. I don’t want Barry to be forgiven— maybe sparrow tried, but even as the old half-elf became more and more docile, sparrow still can’t help but see him as the same threat. I also think that he’d be more likely to recognize that it was Immediately after Oakvale that Lark became more cold and closed-off, and that their own grandmother clearly didn’t want them around. The naming scheme of his children was probably one of those “meet in the middle” things Rebecca recommends where everyone leaves unhappy.

“How does this hurt you?” Well, it means that when Henry holed up in Oakvale after essentially going no contact with his sons, he’s gone to the One Place Sparrow is going to want to avoid with his life, and is additionally preventing Lark from going back and maybe learning more from his badass cleric grandma. Sparrow wants to connect with his dad but can’t stand where he went to hide, and Lark wants to learn more about his family but has No desire to see his dad or go alone. Everyone leaves unhappy!

#Bonus points if lark actually is a cleric. #I keep having this scene in my head where sparrow has to take his kids with him to oakvale and sets the one rule that they not talk to Barr #just. don’t even address him. he’s the worst #am I projecting my paranoia about sparrow disappearing during his season 2 visit to oakvale onto sparrow? #ABSOLUTELY. ITS OAKVALE. THERES A MILLION EXCUSES BARRY COULD HAVE MADE TO SWITCH HIM OUT FOR A FLESH PUPPET #dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads season 2 #dndads spoilers #dungeons and daddies season 2 #lark oak garcia #sparrow oak Garcia #Henry oak #oakvale

[snackugaki]

tmnt au doodlz

#tmnt au #did I give my April creepyyeha gear? #yes absolutely I fucking did #if you feel personally attacked by the outfits I gave Keno April and Jennika? #good #deLiA*s closet sends its regards #just out here picking off other elder millenials from the most unexpected sniper points #be thankful I didn't put her in jnco jeans #this close to putting Leo in the Hot Topic blue flame anime pop button polo shirt #iykyk #fuck it I'll do it because i am untamed and unstoppable #I have adult money now #but I am NOT paying the 90s revivalist kids 45 #for a babydoll tee that cost 6.99 in 96 on DePop #do I still kick myself for throwing out a big chunk of my closet once I graduated high school? #every time I see a Lisa Loeb fucking baby doll dress being sold as vintage 90s for FIFTY FIVE DOLLARS #granted the condition is great but I remember that shit being sold for 10 at Red Seagull #my tmnt au is also just an excuse to draw them in the clothes I wished I could wear when I was their age #TMNT is is technically only 2 years older than I am #give or take you go by their comic or cartoon debuts #they'll always be the cooler older kids to me

[ride-a-dromedary]

Halsin desperately wanting children vs Minthara's cut pregnancy storyline face off in the square, but they violently start making out instead.

#FOR THE RECORD this is a joke...but also *eyes emoji* #BG3 Musing #halsin/minthara has very big you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look/act stupid energy #and then they proceed to do so #fantastic racism vs fantastic prejudice due to past experience and cultural influence face off and make a baby maybe if u wanna idk #maybe we could learn to see the best and accept the less than best in each other and grow and develop as people if you wanna idk #*could* this have been good? it absolutely could have been in the right writer's hands #'but x party said/did -' i do not listen to larian's rules nor whatever they have added here #nor - like i said - did i ever trust them to implement this properly or well and they did not disappoint #any ultimatum they have shoehorned in is not canon to me #if you can recruit minty on a good playthrough now for whatever excuse you should be able to recruit the both of them i don't make the rule #otherwise there is no point - keep her in the evil playthroughs #if i had a nickel every time a elf companion was implied to want or have a babies ever after ending (even in cut content) #i'd have two nickels which isn't a lot BUT WEIRD THAT-