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miabebe · 7 months

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I Am What I Am (IV)

A man of the shadows and a woman who belonged in the skies - fate could not have brought two more different people together.

But was this fate or was this a choice?

Pairing - Im Changkyun x OC, Kim Mingyu × OC

Word Count - 9.9K

Warnings - guns, mild violence, mentions of blood, death, mild exhibitionism but not really lol I don't know how else to explain it

Previous chapter

When Na bi's eyes fluttered open, the stars stuck on her ceiling were gone.

She blinked at the plain concrete, brows slowly pulling into a frown. That can't be right. She would never remove them....

The bed under her was a lot softer too. The room felt warmer than usual, there was a strange smell of damp wood and lilies, and the crakling of a fire was the only thing audible. Rolling onto her side, Na bi raised her head, looking around, eyes slowly adjusting to the dimness. She could barely see anything except the silhouettes of furniture placed around a room - a room that was definitely much bigger than her apartment......that's when she realised, eyes widening.

She was not home.

Instantly scrambling between the black and grey sheets, she sat up, forehead breaking out into a cold sweat as she frantically looked around in the darkness. Panicking at the lack of visibility, she slipped out of the warmth of the bed, reached for the floor length curtains of the nearby windows and pushed them open, biting back a gasp.

Trees.

Thick and tall and lusciously green trees as far as the eye could see, the vibrant colour eventually blending into black shadows. Birds sat perched on branches, some flying around, circling the bark and then up into the sky. The late afternoon sun struggled to seep between the canopies, barely illuminating the forest floor that was nothing but mud and roots.

She was in the middle of nowhere. She was in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Trying not to let the realisation terrify her, Na bi took a step back and then two, finding herself in the centre of the large bedroom. Her head began to spin as she turned, looking around, eyes falling on all the contents - a king size bed against a stone wall, a fireplace burning away wood, a set of stairs leading up to what seemed like a small loft, a huge mirror beside a small study space, books lining the shelves, couches placed below them and finally, finally, a door. Finding her only way out of here, without thinking twice, Na bi sprinted towards it.

She didn't know what exactly she was expecting on the other side, but for some illogical reason, it was not a house. To be specific, it was a corridor lined with a glass railing, opening to the view of an elegant, unfathomably large living space, ominously coloured in shades of black, grey and green.

Surprisingly, Na bi nearly lost herself in the beauty of it all - the way the rugs and couches were arranged, the way it all led into a simple, efficient looking open kitchen, the way the roof was almost two floors tall and high. She stood entranced, till her wandering eyes fell on the floor to ceiling windows that spanned across the space and the view outside - the forest.

Heartbeat picking the pace again, she turned on the heel of her foot and rushed down the stairs, the edge of her long dress dramatically caressing each step. Eyes immediately finding the large oak doors at the far end, she ran towards it, pushing them open with all her might, only to be welcomed by the sight of more trees. Taking one last glace at the house behind her, she submerged herself into the woods, trying to run away as far as possible.

And Na bi ran for what seemed like forever.

She had no idea what she was running from or where she was running to, but for miles, all that was around her were trees, trees and more trees. She tried screaming for help but it only dried her throat up. Her bare feet were now a collage of mud and twigs lodged in her soles, her dress formed a shredded trial behind her as they got ripped by the bushes and her whole body was cold and sore, begging for relief, for an escape. It was only when she could no longer breathe that she finally stopped running, panting as she gripped the sides of her hips, looking up at the barely visible sky, praying.

For what Na bi?

All of a sudden, as though her dormant brain had just woken up, Na bi compelled herself to think about what she was doing. As though her body was stuck in a flight response, she had just been running and running, without so much as trying to figure out why. Ignoring the searing pain in her head, she racked her brains, trying to recall the last of her memories. She remembered going to the grocery store today. She remembered being chased down an alley. She remembered the phone call. She remembered a black van....

Na bi took mindless steps, wandering further into the forest. That black van, where had she seen that before? Why did it seem so familiar?

She didn't ponder over it for long - she couldn’t when her ears caught the sound of water. Desperate for hydration, she ran in its direction, pushing her way through the forest floor, feeling the mud get looser beneath her feet and the air get cooler, stronger. As she made her way out of the last of the branches, her feet landed in the soft golden-white sand of the beach, eyes falling on the gentle waves going to and fro from the shore.

Na bi felt every cell of her body freeze. It was a beach.

She was standing right in the middle of a beach that stretched endlessly on either sides, curving away at the corners. She was standing right in front of the sea coming up to lick the sand one minute and going back to meet the sky the next. She was standing right in the middle of possibly the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen - the sun slowly making its way across the pink sky to sink into the waters for night. It was all so mesemering and stunning except..... Seoul didn't have a beach.

It was at that moment that she felt her head spin uncontrollably and before she knew it, she was one with the softness of the sand. Staring at the clear blue sky, hair fanning out behind her, dress blending into the golden sand, her eyes slowly found the darkness she was running away from.

When Na bi's eyes fluttered open, the stars stuck on her ceiling were gone. Again.

She stared at it, wondering if she was stuck in some strange time loop - she had the same pain in her head, felt the same softness of the bed, saw the same greyness in the ceiling. But one thing was different this time - this time she smelt whiskey and roses.

Raising herself on her elbows, she blinked her heavy eyes open, which didn't have to struggle to adjust, not with the all lamps turned on. The curtains were open as she had left them, except it was pitch black outside, like night had finally fallen. Pushing the thick duvet off her, she swung her legs off the bed, wincing in pain as they touched the wooden floors. She looked down at her feet to see they were no longer covered in mud and sand but had white bandages wrapped around, the execution of which was honestly-

"Mediocre at best, I know."

Na bi turned at his voice, eyes falling on his broad back as he sat crouched by the fireplace, poking the firewood ambers. His presence didn't surprise her. The whiskey and rose scent had already told her he was here.

"It can be better." She muttered as he stood, brushing the ash off his hands and tucking them in his pocket as he turned towards her.

"Ms. Baek."

"Changkyun."

She breathed in the sight of him yet again.

He was dressed in a black shirt, black slacks, matching the ambience of the room. His hair was falling down into his eyes like he needed a little trim, his face beautiful as ever. Na bi gripped the sheets hard, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach. He walked up to the bed, getting on a knee before her, picking up her foot as he studied it, his fingers softly running across the sole. He then reached for a box she hadn't noticed by the wall and slid it onto her lap, opening it to reveal a pair of white sneakers.

"For whenever you wish to leave."

Na bi looked down at the new shoes that seemed to be exactly her size.

"How did I even get here?" She glanced at him who seemed to be inspecting the other tiny cuts and bruises she sustained on her arms, thanks to the multiple twigs and thorns in her way. "Where am I?"

"In my house."

Na bi blinked at him, shocked. "Y-your house? This is your house?? This is where you live??"

"Yes, yes and yes." He answered, counting diligently, as he got up and walked to the shelves.

"It's...." Na bi followed him, stopping at the centre of the room, taking it all in once again. Earlier she had missed the many details of the room - the tiny gold accents hidden everywhere, the splashes of green amidst the heavy tones of black and grey, the random placement of tiny tables and books and empty vases here and there. She didn't realise how minimal yet luxurious the whole place looked, strangely homely yet forbidding. Na bi was never really a fan of dark colors but somehow, she wasn't so repelled by the sight around her. "It's so beautiful."

"Thank you." Walking up to her, Changkyun held out an ointment, looking pointedly at her wounds. "Apply this twice everyday to avoid scarring. My doctor strongly recommends it."

Na bi took it, turning the tube in her fingers, recognising the medicine approvingly before raising her eyebrows. "You have a doctor who's not me?"

He chuckled, cocking his head. "I need someone who'll be by my side till the end. You're not going to, are you?"

Na bi felt her heartbeat in her ears. His question seemed to holder a greater depth than he meant, yet his eyes as usual, remained unreadable. But she had her answer. Stepping closer to him, she grabbed fistfuls of the fabric of his shirt on either sides of his waist, earning a curious look, but he didn't stop her.

She pulled the tuck out of his pants, dragging the shirt up his body, ignoring his sculpted abs as she moved closer to him, breaths mingling in the loud silence, gaze fixed on each other. When she finally tore her eyes away, she looked over his shoulder at the mirror behind him, catching sight of the knife wound she had once tried to heal. It looked better, but definitely not at its best.

"You're not going to make it till the end without someone like me." She pulled back, hands slowly letting the fabric go, eyes meeting his again. "I would've done a much better job."

"I don't doubt that." He replied, stepping away, but not taking his eyes off.

"Is that why I'm here?"

He shook his head, amused. "You sustained a mild concussion earlier today Ms. Baek. Clearly, its affecting your otherwise impeccable analytical abilities." He smoothened the fabric of his shirt slowly. "Let's start over. What is the last thing you remember? Before you got here this afetrnoon?"

Na bi stared at the dark wooden flooring, trying to recollect the scene once again.

"I was coming back from the grocery store when I had this strange gut feeling that I was being followed. I looked around and there was no one, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was being watched. I started walking faster, then I noticed footsteps getting louder behind me so I began running and suddenly about 5 to 6 men appeared, chasing me down the alley. I tried to call the 112 for help and I was around a corner when a black van stopped right before me and pulled me in...." Na bi trailed off finally piecing it together. Of course. "Wonho. It was Wonho's van." She sighed, rubbing the spot on her head that she had knocked against the door when she was forced in. "So I've been kidnapped yet again."

Changkyun let out a small laugh, walking away from her to the table, pouring a glass of water. "You've been rescued yet again Ms. Baek."

Na bi blinked. "From whom?"

"I'm guessing the same people who attacked me." He walked back, handing her the glass. "It seems you too have been compromised."

"But.... but I thought it was all over?" She took the glass from him, frowning hard. "I thought they didn't need me anymore since they already found you."

"Figured me, yes. Found me? No." He glanced at the darkness outside the windows, turning to it. "Perhaps they were trying to get a hold of you so they could bait me into coming out of hiding."

"You think they wanted to get to you through me?" She scoffed, taking a sip. "Why? What could I possibly mean to you?"

"I believe they've identified you as someone I care about."

Na bi looked at Changkyun in the reflection of the windows only to find him already looking at her. Someone he cared about.

She cleared her throat, looking away. "So you're telling me they might know who I am, where I live, all of it?"

He hummed in response, nodding.

Na bi cursed under her breath, downing the last of the water. "So what do I do now? How am I supposed to go back home? That place isn’t safe for me anymore."

"I can have more men stationed around for your safety." Changkyun offered, taking the empty glass from her. "They can guard your house, even accompany you when needed-"

"I've seen what these people are capable of doing Changkyun, to both you and your men." Na bi placed herself between him and his reflection. "I may not be particularly afraid of dying but I sure as hell am not willing to lose my life over something this insignificant to me. There has to be a better option."

She could see the way his jaw tightened, hand gripping the empty glass tight.

"The safest place for you now is probably right here, in my house but I can't possibly ask you to stay."

Na bi swallowed the phantom lump in her throat. "Why?"

"Ms. Baek, my house is no better than a prison, if you can't already tell." He looked over her shoulder pointedly. "There's no life here - it's quiet and dark and lonely. Don't be fooled by the magnificence of the things around you. This place can, quite literally, be hell."

Na bi stared at him, once again failing to read his expression. Hell?

"But you live here."

He nodded.

"Then I can too."

"Despite seeing what's out there?" His head inclined curiously. "That was just the beginning-"

"Doesn't matter what's out there or in here." Na bi curled her hands into tight fists. "Right now all I know is that if I want to be safe, this is my best choice, you're my best choice. I can't trust anyone else."

"Can you trust me?" He smiled at her cockily. "I thought you had no reason to."

Na bi felt her heart thumping in her chest. She didn't have a reason. Not a single one.

"I'll..... take my chances." She drawled slowly, looking at him side eyed. "Unless you don't want me to stay..."

"Then I wouldn't have offered."

"Right." Na bi let out a deep breath, looking around. "So I guess..... I guess I'll be staying here then, till you sort things out."

Changkyun gave a single nod.

"I'll need some of my things though..."

"Whatever you need will be arranged."

"And uh... should I stay here? In this room or?"

"If its to your liking." He slipped his free hand into his pocket. "There's another guest room down the corridor if you're not comfortable here."

"No no, I think I'm fine. I don't mind...."

She trailed off into a loud silence. A few days ago, she didn't know if she would ever see him again and now suddenly, she was living with him, in his house? Oddly, it was all aligning too well, too easily.

As she tried to navigate through the silence, she watched him, also at a loss of words. What was going on in his head?

"I have to go Ms. Baek. I'm-"

"Y- you're going?" Na bi stuttered. "Oh I....I just wanted to ask if-"

"In due time." He promised, walking back to the door. "You need rest and I have business to attend to."

"I know, but I was just wondering if....." She took hurried steps towards him, halting abruptly as she caught her reflection in the mirror, her question drying up in her throat. That floor length, flowery dress was most definitely not her style. Or even her dress. "Did you.... did you change my clothes?"

Changkyun smiled at her, amused. "There's a lot you're yet to learn about the this place Ms. Baek." He raised the empty glass at her mimicking a toast. "Welcome to Asphodel."

And with that he shut the door behind him and disappeared.

Na bi shut her eyes as the warm water of the shower ran down her body, taking away all the mud, sweat and tears.

She was crying.

The moment she stepped into the shower, unwarranted, tears just began flowing down her cheeks. She wasn't particularly upset or sad or hurt by anything, just.... tired. Tired of it all. Tired of always running, tired of never being allowed to stop, tired of never being able to take a breath in peace. Everything had barely just fallen into place and she was already exhausted.

Scrubbing a very sweetly scented soap down her body, she cleaned herself, wondering if it will truly wash away all that was dirty about her. She didn't like anything about the way things had turned out. She didn't like Changkyun walking back into her life again. She didn't like having to stay in his house. She didn't like any part of what she was about to do. But with a mask on her face, she pushed through it, knowing why it was necessary to.

When she opened her eyes, everything around her spun again and her empty stomach attempted to throw up nothing. She needed to get over this concussion as soon as possible so she could function at her best again. She needed to get it together.

Wrapping a towel around her body, she vigorously rubbed another one into her wet hair, catching sight of her reflection in the large mirror above the sink. She looked worse now that she was cleaner - the dark circles stood out more, her eyes were swollen and empty, cheeks sinking into her face. Leaning forward onto the ledge of the sink she stared at herself, whispering.

"Get it together Na bi. You need to get it together."

Knowing she had no other clothes in this house, she settled on wearing the same long dress again, wondering who's it was. If she wasn't wrong, she hadn't woken up in this dress the first time. She was definitely wearing something red - she remembered catching sight of it in the reflections of the windows and in the pieces that lay torn on the forest floor. This dress didn't have a single rip on it, it wasn't the same.

The walk in closet beside the bathroom wasn't the same either. When Na bi went past it about half an hour ago, she was certain it was empty but looking at it now, her jaw dropped. Every shelf was full. There were dresses, pants, blouses, all kinds of footwear, bags, accessories, and in the drawers, even neatly folded innerwear. That wasn't even the surprising part - it was the fact that nearly everything in here was blue. There were a hundred different shades of it splayed before her, some light, some dark, some patterned, but all of them were most definitely blue. He still remembered.

Na bi felt her lips involuntarily curl into a small smile as she walked in slowly, getting a closer look of it all. It wasn't all her style and every piece looked new, like the kind who's price tag carried a number way too big. On the ottomon, there were more things laid out for her use - a neatly folded nightgown, a fresh set of white bandages, and a bottle of shea butter body lotion, the only scent she ever used. He....noticed?

Her smile slipped away from her as his words rang in her ears. I believe they've identified you as someone I care about. Everything in this space was a testament of that. But why on earth did he care about her? How did he manage to arrange for whatever she needed and so much more? Why did he even bother?

Ignoring the bandages and lotion, she grabbed the nightgown and changed into it, taking one last look at herself in the floor length mirror, sighing, reminding herself yet again.

"Get yourself together Na bi."

When she walked down the stairs of the loft, back into the room, the smell made her insides turn ravenously. On the table was a plate of hot kimchi rice, the scent so alluring, that the moment she laid her eyes on it, she rushed to devour it, not caring for the way it burned her mouth. Breathing in relief as life flooded back into her, she sank onto the couch nearby, chomping away on the unbelievably delicious meal. Glancing at the clock, she realised this was her first meal in over 24 hours - her day had been a whirlwind for a while now.

Everything was supposed to end 10 days ago. Changkyun was gone, the threat on her life was gone, the whole fiasco was over. All that she was left to deal with was her idiotic month long suspension.

At first Na bi was furious about it - it was unfair, illogical and no one was even willing to listen to her side of the story. But eventually, she got around it - afterall, she was finally getting a break. She had the time to spend on herself, to catch up on those shows she stopped watching years ago, to make her home a more habitable place, perhaps even shift to a nicer neighbourhood, closer to the hospital. She could now try to learn making something other than the damn kimbap, she could peacefully listen to her favourite artists, she could maybe date once again.

Na bi's throat tightened as she thought of Mingyu. Following her suspension, he had been the sweetest person possible, constantly checking up on her, making sure she was doing fine, even cheering her up with a handmade pretty bracelet of butterflies that was now missing from her hand. Na bi felt like she was finally finding solace in a decent, appropriate person, even looking forward to going out with him, curious to learn more about him. It was on her fourth date with him that things changed. Forever and for good.

They had gone to his favourite pizza place just the day before for what he called the best pizza in the world. Na bi had to agree, it was truly better than any pizza she had before. In fact, it was so good and she had focused on gobbling it down so fast, she barely remembered the conversation he was trying to have with her. Now they were out at her favourite restaurant, an Indian place in the middle of the city and as usual, the food was absolutely delicious.

Na bi wasn't a huge fan of cocktails, and considering they had quite a lot of beer just the day before, she straight up refused the drink Mingyu ordered for them. He insisted, asking her to just try it once and to her surprise, it wasn't too bad. In fact, it was nice enough for her to finish a whole glass in one gulp, making her head immediately spin. As she tried to pull herself together and stared at Mingyu who turned to order another glass..... everything clicked into place. Everything finally made sense.

Mingyu. Police officer Kim Mingyu. The seemingly sweet, innocent Kim Mingyu who was handing her another drink. A drink that tasted the same the night she first met him, the night she first went out with him, and every night he insisted she drink with him.

Third time is fate Dr. Baek.

"Mingyu."

He looked at her, eyes innocently big, features molded in question.

"We need to talk."

"Yeah sure, is something wrong? Are you-"

"Not here." She got up, nearly toppling her chair as she began walking away. Mingyu looked confused till he saw her head towards the washrooms, his expression changing as he followed. Hesitating, he stepped into the ladies room where she had disappeared into.

"Na bi, I shouldn't-"

He choked to a stop as his eyes fell on her standing right in the middle, sliding her thong down her legs from underneath her dress. Ignoring his absolutely stunned expression, she walked past him, hanging it on the handle of the door as a very evident symbol of what was about to happen inside and shut it. Mingyu watched as she walked back, softly brushing against his shoulder and slid onto the granite counter of the sink, beckoning him closer. Mingyu took a wavering step towards her.

"You wanna do it here?......"

His words drowned out as she pulled him by the collar, smashing her lips onto his, making him groan against it. At first he didn't respond, holding himself back from causing a scene in a very inappropriate place but when she softly bit his lower lip, Mingyu couldn't stop himself anymore. Running his hands up her thighs under the dress, he gripped them hard, pulling her closer, right against his chest, wrapping her legs against his waist as his tongue slipped into her mouth.

They had kissed after their dates, in the car, on the streets but it was nothing like this. She hadn't felt him like this since that night in the bar. The thought of their first meeting twisted something inside her guts. How did she not realise? There was no such thing as a coincidence, eveything happened for a reason.

Moaning against her skin, Mingyu moved down her jaw, latching himself against her neck. Na bi let her hands wander down his chest, trailing them to his back, finally, finally getting hold of what she wanted.

The look on Mingyu's face was of pure betrayal when he stepped back realising what had happened - when his eyes fell on the gun in her hands, the one she just pulled out of his holster. Na bi looked at it before looking up at him, face looking equally betrayed.

"Na bi, that's dangerous. It could-"

"I'm not an idiot Mingyu, I know what a gun does." She caressed it carefully before raising it, pointing right at his chest, making him flinch. "I, however, don't know what you do, which makes you more dangerous."

Mingyu frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

"I was a fool to not see beyond your sweet little boy act." She cocked her head at him. "You've been drugging me."

His Adams apple shifted as a drop of sweat rolled down his neck.

"That's not true."

"I know my tolerance Mingyu. I know what alcohol does to me, I know how much I can handle. Yet every time I had a drink with you, things just did not go right. I had less control over myself, my actions were more impulsive," She recalled that night she kissed Changkyun - it was the first night she met Mingyu. That night, when she had that ridiculous dream about him, that was also after meeting Mingyu. "I thought I was losing it. Turns out its been you all along."

Mingyu exhaled, defeated. "I can explain-"

"You can explain drugging me?" She looked at him incredulously. All this while she had only suspected but his attempt to clarify confirmed it. "Mingyu, aren't you a cop? How could you-"

"I'm not."

Na bi felt fear grip her throat. Mingyu ran his hands through his hair, kicking wall behind him frustrated, making her flinch and grip the gun in her hand tighter.

"But you came to the ER that day. You were wearing a uniform....."

"I am a cop, but not really. I....." He looked at the gun still pointed to him and pulled out a badge from his pocket. "I'm a member of the NIS, National Intelligence Service of Korea and I've been working undercover as a cop because I'm on a mission. A mission to get Seoul's infamous, or rather I should say, barely known mastermind," He walked up to her, eyes surprisingly narrowing in accusation. "I.M."

If Na bi wasn't already sitting, she was certain she would have felt the ground slip beneath her feet. Changkyun? Mingyu was looking for Chankgyun. Through her.

"Who-"

"You can drop the act Na bi, I'm aware that you know him." He leaned closer. "I know a lot more than you think."

Na bi stared at him, speechless.

"I was hoping everyone was wrong. I was hoping that you were not one of them. I really hoped...." Mingyu stared at the gun in her hands. "Perhaps I was wrong."

"What do you mean?" Na bi felt her ears turn hot, as panic rose in her and she finally lowered the weapon. "You think.... you think I'm with him?"

"You did side with a criminal-"

"I did not side with anyone."

"Did you not let his men escape from the hospital?"

"No! God, no, I had nothing to do with that-"

"Did you not let him hide in your house?" Na bi's mouth hung open, unable to say anything. "Did you not let him safely leave from there?"

"You're reading everything wrong." She slid off the surface, when Mingyu moved away from, like her inability to give any answer had given him all his answers. "It's not like that-"

"Did he or not stay in your house?"

"He was injured. He came to me bleeding, I gave him a few stitches." She looked at him desperately. "I'm a doctor Mingyu, I just did my job-"

"Why didn't you call the cops?"

That was a question many people had asked her. Changkyun, Seokmin, she herself and now Mingyu. Every time she didn't really have a valid answer.

"He was right there, he would know!" She justified, covering up her actions. "My life would be in danger. I'm sorry I wasn't able to think beyond myself-"

"Is that the only reason?" Mingyu neared her, making her take a scared step back. "Not because you're working for him?"

"No!" Na bi looked at him incredulously. "Of course not. Why would you even-"

"We found bullets in your house Na bi." He clenched his jaw. "In the kitchen drawer. There were bullets that belong to the make of a gun that, forget legal, is not even found in this country-"

"You searched my house? How could you-"

"You were helping a criminal!" Mingyu raised his voice, the sharp sound of it nothing like she had ever heard before. "You chose to protect him, a man who's responsible for what happened to your friend. You chose to-"

"My friend?" Na bi's eyes widened. "You... you know about Ana?"

Mingyu leaned against the door of the stall behind him. "Ana was the reason it all started."

He took a shaky breath, taking his phone out, scrolling through it, before holding it up. "She's dead."

The moment her eyes fell on the image, Na bi instantly felt everything in her stomach violently turn. It was her. It was Ana lying on the ground, lifeless, blood all around, her wrists slit. Both of them.

Na bi leaned against the wall behind, to stop her knees from giving away.

"When....when did that happen?" Her voice barely left her. "What happened?"

"The day after our second date." Mingyu recalled. My men have found lead on Ana. "It was I.M."

"No." Na bi whispered. I will do what I can. "How can it be him, he promised-"

"And he's the epitome of goodness so of course he'd stand by it, right?" Mingyu looked at her scoffing. "You see that, the slits on both her wrists? I'm sure you're not unfamiliar with that in the ER. That's his signature, Na bi. That's how he kills, by letting his prey slowly bleed to death. That's how Tartarus functions."

Na bi frowned, confused and overwhelmed. "What's Tartarus?"

Mingyu raised an eyebrow. "You don't know Tartarus?"

Na bi swallowed the bile rising in her throat again, feeling anger course through her veins. "For the last fucking time, I don't know a damn thing. I don't know anything because I have no part to play in any of this. Why won't you believe me?"

Mingyu stared at her in thought for a bit before he continued. "Tartarus is I.M's secret organisation, made of criminals, assassin's, fighters and many others. They wreck havoc in the city to get what they want and if they don't, then they kill, using their signature move to send a message." Mingyu sighed, "Tartarus used to be run by the Blackjack before he was taken down in the WipeOut. We assumed after his death the organisation would have crumbled but it seems to have shifted to a new leader and is operating more ruthlessly and more efficiently from the shadows." Mingyu stared at himself in the mirror, his voice strained with anger. "They've been showing us hell for years now and we barely know anything about them - who I.M is, how to identify the people working for him, where they operate from, what-"

"Ana knew." Na bi whispered softly. "Ana knew who he is. She knew where to find him."

Mingyu frowned at her. "How would Ana know?"

"I don't know. He doesn't either. He said he wanted to find her so he could ask her himself. He said he had a lead on her location that night but...."

"Perhaps he's gotten the answers he wanted" Mingyu mulled. "and then got rid of her, now that she's of no use-"

"Don't talk about her like that-"

"You're mad at me? What about the man who actually-"

"I know!" Na bi slammed the granite. A violent desire to claw out her own skin ran through her body. She saved a murderer. If she hadn't perhaps Ana would still be alive. Perhaps she would've been okay. It was all her fault.

"How did you...." She looked up at the man before her. "I need you to start from the beginning Mingyu. I feel like I'm losing my mind."

Minyu held out his hand slowly. "Give me the gun and we'll talk."

She looked at him disbelief. "You really think I'm with him?"

"I don't, I want to believe you're innocent because my gut says so. I've been waiting to hear your side of the story, I promise but, " He sighs. ".... please, let's just put the gun aside."

Na bi shook her head. "I've had enough placing blind trust in people. The gun stays with me. Either you talk or I use it." She raised it, pointing at his chest once more. "And don't doubt it, I know how to."

Mingyu stayed silent, staring at her like he was weighing his odds.

"A few weeks ago, a missing report for Ana was filed at a local police station." He started. "When the cops investigated, they felt her disappearance was suspicious so they sent the case to us. Most cases that disappear for too long tend to be linked to I.M and usually, we either find them dead or our investigation reaches a dead end. As usual, without much hope, we began investigating on our own, following her trail when one day, surveillance noticed a woman broke into her house." Mingyu looked at her pointedly. "You."

Na bi frowned at him. "Those people in her house that day were....you guys?"

Mingyu nodded. "Local police. We had them keep the house under observation, as a part of protocol. Usually it doesn't lead to anything significant but that day, we saw you. More suspiciously, as we tried to go after you, you were picked up and rescued in a flash, making us wonder how you might be involved in all this."

Stupid Wonho and his stupid black van.

"We found your fingerprints on the closet and managed to identify you on our database. We wanted to get a hold of you first without making a legal scene, just to verify facts before taking any action but you were guarded 24/7. There were people who always had their eye on you, who were always looking out for you, it was nearly impossible. We couldn't approach you as investigators and that's why I met you in the bar."

Mingyu looked at her guiltily.

"There's a serum being developed by the R&D team at the NIS. It's still in its trial stage but it supposedly has the ability to selectively depress the nervous system, allowing people to lower their inhibitions and be more...." Mingyu swallowed, speaking faster. "...willing to speak, willing to tell the truth. We wanted to extract information from you with that but that night, you ran away."

Na bi recalled the events that followed their first meeting. She had shot a man. She had barged into Changkyun's hideout. She had thrown herself at him like he was all she wanted. God.

"The next day the ER escape incident happened and our suspicions that you were tied with I.M were confirmed." Na bi opened her mouth in protest but Mingyu continued. "I know you said you have nothing to do with it but there were too many things pointing at you. We also knew that he was out there somewhere, unguarded and perhaps injured in the same fight as his men but the very next night, we received intel that he had gone back into hiding. That was on the night of our second date where I gave you the serum again. The night you tested my knowledge about the mafia. The night you didn't let me in your house."

Na bi shook her head, sighing in defeat. Everything was perfectly fitting a very, very inaccurate picture.

"Since that day, we established that you were one of his people and that we probably couldn't get any information from you directly. The plan was that I would continue to pursue you and given your suspension, we'd have both time and a sympathy factor to get closer and I would be able to find out more about I.M but here we are...."

"How convenient for you, that my suspension would align so well...." Mingyus face continued to look guilty and Na bi felt her ears grow hot. "You had me suspended."

"It was my team leaders doing." He confessed immediately. "I swear, I didn't know that was the plan...."

Na bi felt a pure, unadulterated desire to put a bullet through him and everyone who had walked into her life the last few weeks. She had become a joke, a toy for everyone to play around with, to use as they wished. If there was no knocking on the door, her anger would have perhaps started her mass elimination with Mingyu.

"Five minutes!"

"Miss, I'm afraid this is not allowed-"

Na bi walked up to Mingyu, and harshly stepped on his foot, her heel bruising the middle of his foot and covered his mouth, turning his loud shrieks of pain into muffled groans. The person on the other side of the door instantly shut up.

"Five. minutes." She repeated as Mingyu looked at her, hurting. She didn't feel sorry. It was his stupid low inhibition, truth telling serums fault.

"Now," She removed her hand and stood back, as he straightened himself, wincing. "Let me tell you the truth."

And Na bi told him everything. Her accidental kidnapping, her being set free, her being stalked, revisiting Changkyun, him coming home, him leaving to find Ana. Everything. Everything except his name. That sounded like venom in her mouth, she couldn't bring herself to even say it.

"That can't be right." Thankfully, Mingyu spoke only after she was done. "He kidnapped you accidentally, then let you go. You went to Ana's house and he let you go. You revisited him at his hide out and he still let you go? He even came to you when he was in danger? For your help?"

"I told you, he was using me as bait so I was his safest choice. And apparently using me has become a very common mode of action these days-"

"Na bi, Tartarus is a massive underground organisation of hundreds of people. They lack humanity, they have no regard for rules, and they are in every inch of the city. Are you telling me a man with all that in his disposal, needed your help?" She blinked at him, lost in thought. "He's one of the most powerful people out there, even if there was a threat to him or he was in danger, trust me, eliminating it is not hard. There's clearly something else he wants...."

Though Na bi had an idea where Mingyu was going with this, she still asked. "What?"

"You." Mingyu stated like it was the most obvious thing on the planet. "All this while we wondered why I.M would choose someone like you to be on his side, now it makes sense. He likes-"

"Stop, stop, that's not possible." That night they were making out, Chankgyun stopped her. Everytime they looked at each other, he never seemed like he wanted more. Everytime she felt the slightest of sparks between them, he would always pull away. Changkyun was definitely not interested in her. "Trust me, I'd know if he felt like that."

"Think about it. Saving you so many times, having his men look out for you, opening up to you, listening to what you say, that's... that's a man who's interested." Mingyu stared at the design on the floor, brain working fast. "His world is different Na bi. Its not as simple as yours or mine. I think he was testing you, seeing if you'd actually be able to fit in his life and you do. Not only did you throw yourself at him-" Na bi winced at the choice of words. "-proving that you too were interested, you also saved his life and you let him escape. You're exactly what he's looking for." Mingyu looked at her, a strange something brewing behind his eyes. "And we have to make use of that."

If Na bi heard the word use another time from anyone's mouth, she swore, she would put a bullet through them.

"You said you're not on I.M's side right? That you were just trying to save yourself and not protect him?" Mingyu looked at her eagerly and she nodded. "Then prove it. Help us. Come on our side and help us take him down-"

"No." Na bi stared at Mingyu like he was insane. "None of this is my business, I was never supposed to be involved in any of this in the first place. I've barely gotten out of all this alive, if he even gets the slightest clue that I might be helping you, he'd have me killed-"

"How about for once," And the next set of word were too harsh for Na bi to even hear. "Just once, you think about someone other than yourself? Do you know how many lives you can save if he's gone-"

"That's not fair." She said softly. "I am in this mess because I cared about Ana. I am in this mess because I cared enough to save a dying man despite knowing he was not a good person. You're taking to me about saving lives? I'm a doctor Mingyu, I do that anyways."

"Then do it for Ana." His eyes looked softer now, almost like they were begging. "Don't you want justice for her? Don't you want to punish those who did that to her?"

Na bi felt her heart thumping in her chest.

"Unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless you too have feelings for him-"

"What is wrong with you Mingyu-"

"You did admit to being attracted to him-"

"Attraction is temporary, fickle feeling. It's barely something you allow to cloud your judgement. " Na bi looked at him incredulously. "I don't know the man, I don't have any feelings for him, I never can." Disgust rose in her chest at the memory of Ana's lifeless body. "Not with someone like that. Just beacuse I couldn't keep it in my pants on a night that, let me remind you, you drugged me, it doesn't mean-"

"The serum only lowers inhibitions Na bi," Mingyu reminded her. "The choices are still yours."

"It was merely a primal response of a woman to a man." Na bi crossed her arms decisively. "But I am an evolved being Mingyu, I can differentiate between what's right and wrong."

"Then you'd know it's right to side with me." He moved closer to her. "That you should pick my side of this fight."

Na bi stared at Mingyu thinking about the last few days of her life. She was at the edge of a rabbit hole and if she let herself fall, there was no way out. No way back. She didn't want to get trapped again. She really didn't.

A sudden knocking frightened them both, making them jump in their skin, turning to the door.

"Sir, I'm afraid if you don't come out, we're going to have to call the cops."

Na bi sighed annoyed and finally handed Mingyu his gun which he immediately stashed away. She turned to the mirror, haphazardly arranging her fringes and smudged her lipstick at the corners, looking at his reflection.

"Would you rather people assume we had sex or have them find out that man from NIS, at gunpoint, confessed to drugging and violating the privacy of an innocent woman's life?"

Mingyu immediately unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt and ran his hands through his hair, neatly messing it. Giving him an approving nod, Na bi went over and opened the door to a bunch of waiters, security guards and a suited man.

"Ma'am, I must tell you-"

"We're done and we're going."

Na bi brushed them away, grabbing her underwear from the handle and tucked it in Mingyu's back pocket, widening everyone's eyes as she walked away. Mingyu followed, muttering a bunch of apologies, joining her as she stood by the empty road, looking down it.

"I think we are banned from ever coming back here." Mingyu looked over his shoulder at the manager angrily shutting the restaurant door behind them. "I'm sorry, you said it was your favorite-"

"There's a lot more things you should be sorry about that I've not heard an apology for."

"Na bi, I really am sorry, for everything. I was just doing my job." Mingyu insisted. "You know what's that like."

Na bi stared at the far end of the one way street.

"So will you help us?" He eyed her from the side. "Please, just think about it-"

"Help you how?"

"We'll figure that out. As long as you say you'll help, I'll talk to Jihoon. I'll convince him that your innocent and we'll formulate a plan. I just need you to assure me you'll help."

He looked at her so expectantly, though Na bi didn't owe him anything. But she did owe one person.

"For Ana." She turned to him. "Only for her. Only because I want answers for her."

The relief on Mingyus face was like no other. He immediately fished for his phone, mumbling a bunch of things under his breath. Na bi didn't care enough to hear - she had enough for the day.

When the cab approached, she flagged it down and got in without so much as looking at Mingyu. That was the second last time she saw him.

The last time she saw him was about five days ago, at the Chinese place downtown who's address Mingyu had texted her. The moment she asked for him at the counter, they led her to the "special seating in the basement" which turned out to be a long corridor of doors, ending at a storeroom fermenting wines of various kinds.

The table in the centre was illuminated by a dull lamp throwing light on all the papers and maps and laptops lying askew. Men in black jackets stood around it whispering in hushed voices, while the men in green stood in the shadows behind, holding their rifles agaisnt their chest. Na bi felt something cold trickle down her neck.

"Lover boy, your girl made it."

She turned to a man just about her height, walking past her to stand next to Mingyu, who she had just noticed. The bigger man flashed her his usual canine smile which she did not return. She wasn't here to exchange pleasantries.

"What is this place?"

"NIS special operations office." Mingyu answered, approaching her. "One of many. This is the branch we use for-"

"Sure, why don't you tell her the exact coordinates of all our other operative locations too?" The shorter man began flipping through the files before him, barely looking at her. The hostility towards her was not hidden.

Mingyu flushed, looking embarrassed. "That's Jihoon, team leader." He whispered. "That's just the way he speaks. He's a bit-"

"Bit of an ass." Na bi completed loudly for him, getting Jihoon to finally look at her.

"You have quite some nerve." He crossed his arms, anger evident in his voice. "I see why I.M would pick you."

Na bi rolled her eyes turning to Mingyu. "I'm not sure why I'm trying to help if your all-knowing team leader doesn't even trust me."

"Trust is earned Dr. Baek."

"Like you tried to earn mine by spiking my drinks every chance you got?" She raised an eyebrow at Jihoon. "Or by having me suspended for no damn reason?"

Jihoon was just about to retaliate when Mingyu stepped up, concerned. "Jihoon, I trust her. Her side of the story aligns, it makes sense. You said you trust my judgement." Jihoon rolled his eyes, turning back to his files. "Na bi, please give him time. We've been seeing you as an enemy for days. It's not easy to accept you on the other side of the fight." Na bi stared at the unbothered man before her and nodded unwillingly.

"Let's make this short and quick." Jihoon pulled up a chair before her, sitting with a manspread. "You can start with telling us everything you know about I.M"

Na bi stared at him angrily as Mingyu pulled up another chair for her and hurried to diffuse the situation.

"Jihoon, she doesn't know anything about him."

"She's met him, is there really nothing of value she can offer?" Jihoon leaned, interlocking his hands, elbows resting on his knees. "As far as we know, you're the only one who's ever seen him, Ms. Baek."

"Dr. Baek." Na bi corrected, deeply disliking the way he spoke to her. "I can describe how he looks, how vivid is your imagination on a scale of 1 to 10?"

"Save the smart talk for the sketch artist Dr. Baek." Jihoon scoffed. "We should arrange for one by next week. In the meantime, you can enlighten me about some other details, any clues that might help."

Na bi sunk into her chair, gathering her thoughts. She didn't really know that much about Changkyun. He had a lighter that be never seemed to part with, he smelt like whiskey and roses, he could tell if a gun was loaded by its weight, he wasn't a picky eater, and he was good at doing dishes. That was about the depth of her knowledge, none of which were helpful.

"I uh know the address of the warehouse that I was taken to the first time I was kidnapped."

"They might have abandoned it once you rediscovered them." Mingyu pondered.

"Yeah.. but you might find some clues there?"

"They wiped a whole hospital clean of their existence." Jihoon added. "You think a warehouse would be spared?"

"There's no harm in trying." She gritted between her teeth.

Sighing, Jihoon handed her a notepad and a pen, allowing her to scribble the location down. One of the men in black walked up and took it from her as the team leader whispered instructions in his ear.

"There's a man named Wonho, who is his right hand of sorts. He frequently roams around in a black van, that's what they used to kidnap me. Twice."

"A name and a car colour is not enough Dr. Baek."

"Well that's all I have." She snapped. "We didn't exactly sit and exchange life stories."

Jihoon stared at her, then Mingyu.

"We need to get her to him." Jihoon grabbed his phone from the table. "She knows nothing, but if she's by his side, she might learn more."

"What do you mean?" Na bi's eyes flickered between the two men.

Jihoons eyes scanned her up to down. "I hear you're his latest love interest-"

Na bi rolled her eyes. "He's not in love with me."

"In love, attracted, infatuated, whatever, I don't care. The key word is interested. If he's taken an interest to you and you have his attention," Jihoon cracked his knuckles. "then that shall be our weapon. You shall be our weapon. We'll put you right next to him, perfect to find and feed us intel - where his headquarters are, where his hideouts are, crucial details of his organisation-"

"You're asking me to pretend to return his apparent interest in me, collect information about him discreetly and report it back to you?" Jihoon nodded at her, like it was obvious. "You're insane. I agreed to help you, not kill myself. If he finds out what I'm up to, I'll be dead in an instant."

"Are you saying you disapprove of my idea Dr. Baek?"

"No, I'm saying that it's outright stupid and doesn't consider the risks that it holds for me." She sat upright. "I'm sure there's other things I can help with. We still don't know why and how Ana got involved in all this. Since I know her, I can work with Mingyu on that-"

"Dr. Baek, since you're so eager to give suggestions, let me remind you what exactly your position here is." Na bi could see the pulsation in Jihoon's temple. "You are still a suspect of being I.M's aid, proven by the fact that we found your fingerprints in Ana's house and bullets in your own house. The only thing saving you from being prosecuted right now is Mingyu's willingness to take your responsibility and your ability to help us. Should you back off now, imagine the effect that would have on your life? On your career?"

Na bi looked at Mingyu in disbelief. He didn't meet her eye as Jihoon continued.

"You will be prosecuted. You would be going in and out of court for years, trying to prove your innocence, only to be trampled by the judicial system that functions purely on hard facts and evidence, which I have. Have you considered these risks for yourself?"

Na bi felt like air was knocked out of her lungs. "Are you threatening me?"

"I'm reminding you." Jihoon threw her a photo of the bullets laying stashed in her kitchen drawer. "This is as important to you as it is to us. I hope you will start to take it as seriously."

Na bi stared at the picture in her lap. She never should have hidden the bullets from Chankgyun. One stupid, stupid move and she was trapped.

Picking up the picture, she ripped it, earning a glare from Jihoon and an inaudible, concerned whisper from Mingyu. She had no way out.

"I don't have any way to contact him." She threw the pieces on the floor. "How will I find out anything?"

Jihoon looked at Mingyu who got up immediately, walking to the table.

"If our theory of I.M taking a fancy for you is right, he must still have his eyes on you." Mingyu started. "It shouldn't be impossible for you to get a hold of him again."

"If he still has his eye on me, anything we try wouldn't work." Na bi wondered how on earth this man managed to work in intelligence. "He would have seen me hanging out with you for days now, and given your genius undercover role was that of a cop, he's not going to try and approach me anymore."

"Cops aren't a threat to him." Jihoon interjected. "Majority of the cops in Seoul don't even know about I.M and the ones that do, work for him anyways."

Na bi's eyes widened. "C-cops work for him? A criminal?"

"If good men were purely good, evil wouldn't exist Dr. Baek. How do you think the man has been able to stay so powerful? He's got his people everywhere." Mingyu nodded at her in agreement. "More frustratingly, there is loyalty for him everywhere. Over the years, any of his people that we've managed to get a hold of would rather kill themselves in custody than reveal anything about him.... That's why you're our only way." Jihoon looked at her very differently now. "The only thing that can take him down is betrayal. That's what you need to do."

Na bi gripped her thighs to stop them from shaking. It was getting all too much. Too much.

Jihoon got up, joining Mingyu at the table. "What was your plan?"

"We need to make him believe her life is still in danger." Mingyu started slowly. "If he truly cares, like we assumed, he will try to protect her again. We can start from there."

"And if he doesn't?" Na bi walked up to him, standing on the other side, glancing at his paperwork. "What if he doesn't fall for it? Or if he doesn't try to protect me again, then?"

"I bet my ass this would work." Jihoon clicked his tongue at Mingyu's choice of words, making him apologise before he continued. "We have back up plans. If not this, then-"

"Sorry, boss." The black jacket man from earlier returned, making all three of them turn towards the door. "I have intel. I enquired about address she gave. It's an old warehouse that stores spare parts of cars. It hasn't been used in years but a week ago..." He looked at Na bi then Jihoon. "There was electrical issue, a faulty wire that led to sparks and... the place caught fire. It's completely burnt down, there's nothing but ashes."

Jihoon glanced at Na bi who let out a shaky breath. She knew what his stare meant - she really was the only way out. She was their only solution.

That's how barely five days later, true to their plan, albeit at a much earlier time than she was informed, she found herself being chased down the alleys. And exactly as Mingyu predicted, Wonho 'rescued' her yet again, bringing her just where she had to be - right by Chankgyun.

She scrapped the last of her food off the plate, forcing it down her throat though all she wanted was to throw it all up. She needed to eat, she needed her energy - things were only just beginning. She had only entered hell today.

Tomorrow, she was to begin her mission to take down its king.

Next chapter

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