#descritpion | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

modusssa · 1 year

Text

“Lay the Roses”- Soft! Aemond Targaryen x Fem! Reader

Original Ask Prompt with gifs :)

What do you think Aemond would do with a super innocent, pure princess? He’s older than her and she has no experience with men. She’s intimidated by him but finds him so beautiful to look at….

*Read it on AO3

Rating: NSFW 18+ (Smut starts around 11,300)

TW: Graphic Sexual Descritpions, Canon Typical Violence

Word Count ~13,300

You spent your entire life hidden in the tower at Old Town. Kept away like a secret. You supposed you may have been. Your father, Lord Hightower, was on the late King Viscerys’s small council and now sat on King Aegon’s. Your mother refused to let your father take you to court because she was not blind to the behavior of the people in court. Year after year as you grew, your mother would keep you close while your father was always gone.

Truthfully, you were happy that your mother had kept you hidden away in the tower. You had heard of the ways of court, read the histories in the library and the letters between your parents. You heard their whispered conversations when your father was home, about how the new King Aegon and his depraved tastes. About how his younger brother Prince Aemond murdered his nephew in cold blood with his giant beast of a dragon. You were no stranger to the whispers of the Targaryen princes and their ways. Their cruelty.

It came as a surprise after your eighteenth name day that your mother and father decided it was time to introduce you to the world. You had no desire to travel to the capital. You were content to spend your days in the library or in the gardens, reading about people that used to exist or never did, getting lost in your daydreams. You insisted that you didn’t need to go, but your father’s word was law in the family, so you had to comply.

Gazing out the carriage window, you lifted your thumb to your mouth, chewing off the skin there. It was an anxious habit that you have had forever. Small scars littered your fingertips, and your mother despised it. She reached across the carriage and slapped your hand away from your mouth.

“That is not a ladylike habit Y/N.”

The scolding made you feel embarrassed, and your face flushed as you looked down to your lap. Folding your hands, you replied, “I’m sorry Mother.”

She glanced down at your folded hands, at the tiny pieces of skin poking out from your thumbs and reached into her pocket, pulling out white silk gloves. She holds them out to you. “Here. These will cover that.”

You chewed on your bottom lip and pulled them over your hands. The gloves were a nice touch to your attire since your mother had the pale pink dress that you were wearing made specifically for this trip. It didn’t have sleeves and it made you feel exposed, but the gloves now covering your hands up past your elbows made you feel more secure. You ran your hand down the front of the soft fabric of the dress. It was nicely made and was good for the temperature in the capital. But you would much rather be home. That feeling only increased as the carriage came to a rocking stop. Your mother patted your leg as you glanced out the window. There was a small crowd gathered in the courtyard and at its center, were two men practicing swords. You noticed the white, blonde hair bouncing around, swinging a sword. Your gaze was locked on his body, the way it gracefully danced around his opponent as if his feet weren’t even touching the ground. Until he turned, blocking a hit, and you saw the eyepatch. Your stomach instantly dropped, making your heart race. Prince Aemond was breathtaking. Dangerous and menacing, but beautiful and graceful. His long lean body twisting and turning, dancing with his challenger.

A throat cleared behind you and you turned, seeing your mother standing at the door of the carriage next to the valet. You glanced once more out the window before exiting the carriage. You smoothed your hands down the front of your dress in nervousness. You saw your mother side eye you, silently reminding you not to fidget. Folding your hands in your front, you square your shoulders and follow behind your mother.

Your father stands at the entrance to the castle, and you smile at him as your gaze meets his. You and your mother follow the guards to the doorway, but you glance over to see if you can get a glimpse of the prince sparring in the center of the small crowd. Much to your dismay, the crowd has spread out and the prince isn’t in the ring any longer. Your eyes glide across the courtyard, hoping to get a glimpse of the dangerous handsome Prince Aemond once more. To your surprise you see him, and your gazes lock. He is watching you. You quickly look away, stumbling a little into your mother walking in front of you. You apologize and she gives you a glare as she greets her husband. You look over your shoulder to where you saw the prince a moment before, and he is still watching you with a small smirk on his face. You feel your face heat as you look down and follow your parents into the Red Keep.

Aemond stands in the courtyard watching your back as you disappear into the Keep. He has never seen you before and didn’t know that Lord Hightower had a wife. His mother had never even told him. He wondered why they chose now to bring you to the capital. Ser Criston walks past him, and he asks who you are and why you’re here. Criston should know what Aemond doesn’t. He spends the most time with his mother.

“That is Lord Hightower’s daughter, Y/N”

“Mm. Why do you think he failed to mention he had a daughter?”

“With all due respect, My Prince, he hasn’t. He just doesn’t bring her to court. From what I understand, her mother wanted to keep her away.”

Aemond pondered on that. Why would your parents keep you hidden away from the world? He thought you were beautiful. Your father would be able to find a good match for you based on beauty alone. The thought of seeing you for the first time on another man’s arm made him feel uncomfortable but he couldn’t explain why. He put that away for later. You did seem shy, he thought, but that could have been a product of being hidden away from the world for so long, high in the tower at Old Town. You had intrigued him though and he was interested in learning more about the secret treasure of Old Town.

You were shown to your own private chambers, grateful to finally be away from your mother. She told you to prepare yourself for dinner, and told you what dress to wear, since you were going to be dining with the King, Prince Aemond, and the rest of their family. The thought of sitting at the table with the most powerful people in Westeros made you nervous. You paced in your room, back and forth, looking for anything to do. You came to a stop near the window and gazed out at the bay, chewing your fingers and nails again. You thought of seeing Prince Aemond today and how intimidating he was. How the patch over his eye and the scar half hidden beneath made him even more beautiful and serious. Would he stare at you across the table at dinner? Would he talk to you? Would all of them try to talk to you? You didn’t want to be the center of attention. You prayed that you could just blend in and not have to speak much in front of them. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself or your parents at the table.

A knock sounded on the door, and you walked over and opened it. Two servants were standing there. You didn’t recognize them, but they told you that they were there to help you get dressed for the evening. That anxious feeling continued to build inside you as you opened the door fully to let them inside.

They combed your hair and painted your face. When you looked into the mirror, you felt pretty. You told them that you didn’t want them to put too many cosmetics on your face and they didn’t. The dusting of color on your eyes made them stand out and glow. Your lips looked full and soft. You gave the servant’s a soft smile and thanked them. They nodded in gratitude, and one walked to the bed and picked up your dress that was hanging over the bed. It was another your mother had made for you. It was truly beautiful, but the more you stared at it, the more you felt like your mother was trying to wrap you up like a gift.

It was long and a shade of green that was almost blue. It had gold embroidery on the bodice, in the shapes of dainty little leaves and vines that trailed down the skirt. The skirt was flecked with pink and golden silk roses. It didn’t have sleeves like the pink one you wore when you arrived, but it had silk fabric that slipped off your shoulder in a flattering way.

“This is such a lovely dress, Lady Y/N” she said as she held it out for you to step into.

You glanced at the servant and gave her a small smile. “Thank you.” You sucked in your stomach as the ladies laced up the back. As soon as they finished, you admired yourself in the mirror. Another knock sounded on the door and the servants went to answer. Standing at the door was a knight, telling you that he was to escort you to the feast. Fighting the urge not to pick at your thumbs, you looked in the mirror again one last time at yourself. You tore your eyes from the mirror and looked down at your feet as you walked to the door. Better get it over with.

Your father was standing at the bottom of the stairs as you approached. He turned, smiling at you and taking your hand.

“You look very beautiful Y/N. I hope you’re excited to meet the King.” You gave him a weak smile and nod. His eyes scanned your face looking worried. He grabbed your chin and made you meet his eyes. “It will be fine, daughter. Do not be worried.” You smile at him. “I know.”

He returns your smile and puts your arm inside his, leading you into the room. When you walk in, the smells are what you notice first. It smells delicious and you close your eyes, letting the smells of the food tickle your nose. When you open your eyes, you look at the table and see who must be King Aegon sitting at the head of the table. He has a goblet to his lips and his mother is leaned over the table speaking to him. To Aegon’s right is Heleana, Aegon’s Queen, but you can only see the back of her head. It is who is sitting across from her that snags your attention. Prince Aemond is staring at you. His eye narrows slightly, just a small twitch of muscle, but it’s enough to make you feel embarrassed. You immediately look down at your feet as you and your father approach the table.

You curtsy at King Aegon as your father introduces you. He sets his goblet down on the table and his eyes drift up and down your body.

“Lovely to meet you Y/N. We didn’t even realize that you existed!” He slaps the table and the loudness of it makes you jump. “It seems your father was keeping secrets.”

“No, Your Grace. I have spoken of Y/N many times. Her mother just prefers to keep her in Old Town. You know how ruthless court can be, My King.”

Aegon’s eyes travel up and down your body again, and you feel your cheeks heat. “Indeed, I do Lord Hightower. Well, it is lovely to have you here now, Y/N.”

You bow again. “Thank you, Your Grace.”

Next thing you know, you are being introduced to everyone at the table. You are a Hightower just like Queen Alicent and her father, your uncle, but you have only met Otto once and Alicent never. You were born long after she left Old Town and she never came back to visit. And if it was left up to you, you wouldn’t be here now. Queen Alicent is kind to you, telling you how beautiful you are and admiring your dress. You get the same attention from Queen Helaena. She is even kinder than her mother. You begin to smile more and feel more comfortable around these new people, until your hand is taken by Prince Aemond.

He lifts your hand, turning it over and pressing a small kiss on your inner wrist. Your ears begin to heat, and you look down at your wrist where he is now rubbing his thumb. “It is wonderful to meet you, Y/N” You look up into his eye now, holding his gaze. His lips pull into a small feline smirk, and it makes butterflies burst to life inside you. Nodding you take your hand from him and look down at your feet again. “It is nice to meet you as well, Prince Aemond.”

Aemond is still standing in front of you when King Aegon clears his throat and then claps twice, signaling the servants to bring the food. Your father sits in the seat next to Helaena, your mother on his other side. The only other spot available is right next to Prince Aemond the Kinslayer.

You get nervous when you realize where you are supposed to sit and look at your father. He gives you a small smile and a wink. Prince Aemond is standing so close to you that you can smell him. He smells so nice. His scent reminds you of honeyed tea and afternoons spent lying in the sun. Aemond pulls the chair out for you, and you thank him. He makes a sound, something like “mm” and it makes the goosebumps prickle your skin.

Everyone engages in conversation. Sometimes they include you, other times they don’t. The man sitting next to you is quiet most of the time, only giving his brother rebuttals that make laughter erupt around the table. His words are unusually mean and catty, and you feel like he isn’t joking at all. That he actually gets frustrated by the laughing. His quiet demeanor intimidates you further. Still waters do run deep.

You keep quiet as much as possible, extremely aware of the man beside you. His fingers tap on the stem of his goblet. You look at him as you chew a mouth full of food and he is staring at his plate. You want to ask him what’s wrong or if he is okay, but you’re afraid to speak to him. You can feel the energy coming from him and begin picking at your thumbs under the table. Feeling something brush your fingers, you look down to see Aemond’s hand pull your finger away from your thumb and holding his hand over it.

Your eyes fly up to his, but he is still looking at his plate. Across from you, your mother has her cup turned up, drinking wine and your father is engaged in a debate with Otto. Your heart starts to race, and you stand. Everyone at the table looks at you when you speak. You have to swallow your impulse to run away. Clearing your throat, you look at King Aegon. “Your Grace, thank you for this dinner. But I am awfully tired from my journey.” Aegon nods and bids you a goodnight, as does everyone else. Everyone except Aemond, whose gaze is burning a hole through your skull.

When you walked into the room, you were the most beautiful person that Aemond had ever seen. Even his brother was dragging his eyes up and down your body, caressing your soft curves with his gaze. The dress you wore was one of a kind and made you look ethereal, like a woodland faerie princess from some forgotten land. You were buzzing with nervous energy, and he could tell by the way that you kept looking down that you were intimidated. He knew that you had probably heard all the terrible things that he had done, how much blood he had on his hands. But he didn’t want to scare you, the most beautiful person that he had ever seen. Keeping you locked away in the tower at Old Town was perhaps the stupidest thing your father had ever done. Or maybe the smartest.

When Aemond saw you picking nervously at your fingers, he wanted to soothe you, comfort you. He knew what it was like to be afraid, intimidated by other people’s presence. He could sympathize with you. And at that moment, he wanted to let you know that he understood. That you were safe and that there was nothing to be afraid of. But the way that you jumped up when he touched you, made him flood with self-loathing. He wanted to get to know you. You were a mystery to him. One that he intended to unravel. Right after you left, he excused himself from the table too, throwing his napkin down on his plate. On his way to his chambers, he contemplated seeking you out, talking to you and letting you know that you shouldn’t be afraid of him.

The next day you got dressed and asked one of the guards outside your chamber to escort you to the library. Being the capital, you knew that there would be a lot of books that you could escape through. When you approached the library door, you were amazed at the size of it.

Old Town had a wonderful library full of history texts but the library in the Red Keep seemed to be never ending. There were rows and rows of books, tables throughout and couches where someone could relax and read. You walked up and down the aisles, dragging your hand down the spines of books, looking for something to grab your attention. You stopped in one spot and pulled a title from the shelf, opening it to the middle to see if it was any good.

Something warm tickled the back of your neck and you turned to see Prince Aemond standing over you. The sight of him made you jump back, holding the book tight to your chest. The small smirk he had on his face disappeared as your back pressed against the shelf. “Hello, Y/N.”

You swallowed and looked down. “Hello, Prince Aemond.” God he was so scary. Handsome but terrifying.

“I assumed I would run into you here.”

That caught you off guard and you looked up at him, bemused. “Why?”

He leaned into you, crowding your space and you hugged your book tighter. He held your gaze as he spoke softly, “Mm. Because you and I aren’t so different Y/N. I was once exactly like you. Seeking out adventure that I was too afraid to take in my own life.”

His assessment made you feel vulnerable and anxious. “I-It’s not that, Prince Aemond. I just...” your voice trailed off and you looked away from him again. His presence was overwhelming you.

He reached up and touched a piece of your hair, rubbing it between your fingers. “You don’t have to be afraid of me.” His voice caressed your spine softly like silk. You knew he wasn’t known for being a good person, quite the opposite in fact. But here he was being gentle with you, telling you not to fear him.

You looked up at him then. At his blue eye that resembled the bay around his home, this place where they were standing. Your gaze flicked between his eye and the covering on the other one. You longed to know what was beneath although the thought of seeing him without it was just as frightening. His jaw clenched and you heard his teeth grind. “Okay.”

He took a step away from you and you found the sudden distance now felt too far. He held his hand out to you. You looked at it and then up at him. “Come. I would like to show you something.” You looked around the room and then back at him.

“I- I don’t know Prince Aemond” you licked your dry lips and you saw his eyes drift down and watch the motion.

“How will you learn to trust me if you do not take the chance?”

You shifted your weight from foot to foot and then nodded. “Yes. Okay.”

A slow smile appeared on his face. The sight of it made your stomach flutter. “Okay.” He said and then pulled you through the aisles of books.

His steps were long, and you had to take two to his one, and before you knew it, you two were almost sprinting through the library. You felt a laugh bubble up through your chest as you watched the prince, the one everyone in the realm was so terrified of, was dragging her through the library in the capital, perfect hair flying behind him.

You couldn’t hold it back any longer. Your hand came up and you let your laughter free.

Aemond stopped at a door and looked over his shoulder at you as he pushed it open with his large hand. The sun was beaming, and your eyes blinked against the brightness as you both entered the outside. He continued to pull you until you through the labyrinth of a garden. You didn’t have time to admire everything around you, but he finally came to a stop at a small fountain surrounded by a wall of pink flowers.

He let go of you and walked around the fountain. Setting your book down on a stone bench, you spun in a circle looking at all of the flowers around you. The fragrant blooms were as large as your hand and the sight of it all made you homesick. You tan your fingers over one of the silky petals of the flower before turning around.

Aemond was sitting on the bench that you had placed your book on with his arms folded across his chest watching you. You cleared your throat, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “This is a beautiful garden, Prince Aemond.” You gave him a small smile. “Thank you for bringing me here.” He didn’t reply with words, just a small “mm”.

You picked the hem of your dress up as you sat down on the bench next to him and then put your book in your lap. You opened it and started reading.

“Tell me why I didn’t know you existed.”

Tucking your finger into the book and closing it, you turned to face him. “I- My mother thought it was a good idea that I be kept away until I was older.”

He studied your face. “And what did you want.”

You looked away from him and stared at the greenery. “I- I don’t know. This is my first time away from home. I admit at first, I was terrified and well… I still am.” You shrug and then meet his gaze again. “I suppose I still don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, I like it here. It’s beautiful and everyone has been nice but…” another shrug. You don’t realize that you’ve started to pick at your thumbs again until Aemond’s warm, calloused hand is on top of yours.

You look down at where your hands are touching and this time you don’t pull away. “Don’t be nervous. I’m not going to hurt you.” You let out a mirthless chuckle.

“Excuse me Prince, but if I may speak freely, I have heard of you although you’ve never heard of me. I know of what the world calls you…” you drop your voice to a whisper and look around, “I know what they say about you. So, forgive me if I find you rather…intimidating.”

Aemond doesn’t say anything for a few moments and the air pulls tight between you. Your heart starts racing and you chew on your lip. “I-I’m sorry, Prince.”

He shrugged and then stood. He stepped close to you, close enough to blot out the sun. You blinked up at him and when his hand came up to your jaw, your hands twisted together in your lap. His thumb rubbed your jaw as he leaned in close to you. “Why don’t you form your own opinion about me then, hmm? See if what you hear is true.”

Looking down, you pulled away from his hand. He made a fist when you pulled away but then folded his hands behind his back. You picked your book back up and held it to your chest. “I-I think I would like to go back to the library now, Prince.” He didn’t respond, instead he walked towards the way that you came from, towards the Red Keep, and once he rounded the corner you stood and followed.

Aemond felt terrible. He was angry. He wanted you to talk to him, open up to him. He wanted to show you that even though he was the kinslayer they labeled him as, he wouldn’t harm you. He wanted you to trust him. He was enthralled with you, your innocence. Maybe keeping you hidden from the world was a great thing. You hadn’t been tainted by the world. Not yet at least. And if he could, he would prevent that from ever happening.

He heard your footsteps padding behind him as he led you back to the library. Glancing over his shoulder at you, he admired you. You were so beautiful. The way that the sun kissed your face, the way that you looked around at everything, as if seeing the world for the first time, and he supposed that you were. You spent your eighteen years alone, without anyone but the servants and your mother as company. Aemond understood.

When Aemond was a child, he became used to being alone. The loneliness that came from being the third child, and second born son to a King. He knew what it was like to live in the shadows, forever excluded from the group. Being laughed at and bullied. He was forced into solitude by his family. Much like you were.

He was forced to love solitude until he began to yearn for it, crave it as he grew. He prided himself on his ability to become invisible. Wear an impenetrable armor of isolation. Everyone pushed him away, told him to leave them alone. And when he saw the same craving for solitude in you, it shocked him that you pushed him away. He would fight that. He would show you that you could experience solitude without loneliness and fear.

Aemond knew that he was menacing. It was why he wore the patch over his eye, he didn’t want to scare women, and now, he didn’t want to scare you. But no one would ever understand why he was okay with his disfigurement, what it symbolized for him. He gained a lot more than he lost that day. But people continued to shove him into a cage with their rumors and assumptions. They called him murderer. Kinslayer. They weren’t wrong but the judgments made him angry, resentful.

Soon after Aemond gained his infamous kinslayer name, he became darker. Let his wrath fuel his most depraved desires. To kill anyone that opposed him. His family. And his brother let him do whatever he wanted. Aemond did and never felt bad for it or cared one bit. Until he met you and saw himself mirrored in you. The loneliness, anxiety, how you preferred the company of yourself above others and how it wasn’t triggered by the world rejecting you, but rather your rejection of it.

You were two sides of the same coin. You are the light and him the dark. And he was going to do whatever he could to keep it that way.

Instead of leading you back to the library the same way, he took a left and detoured for another spot. Somewhere that he thought you may like. Where you would feel more comfortable. Maybe if he showed you another side of him, then you would allow him in.

You noticed that Aemond took a different route than y’all did when you were hand in hand running through the aisles and gardens. You passed a few people and when you weren’t keeping your head down, you gave them a small smile. Each one bowed to Aemond but he didn’t pay them any attention.

You came to a wooden gate and Aemond pulled a key from his pocket. You looked around and noticed that no one was around. “Where are we going?” you asked.

“Somewhere I think you’ll like.” He answered as the gate opened. He stepped through and you bit your lip and followed. There was a tunnel made of green vines that seemed never ending. The gate clanged shut behind you as you continued to follow him through. He went around a corner and the green tunnel ended, opening up into a tree covered hill right on the edge of Blackwater Bay. There was no one around and it was like a private little sanctuary. There was a swing attached to a large tree that swung right out over the sandy beach. Further out, you could see boats and people moving about them, like little ants from this distance.

“Wow.” you said as you looked out over the scenery. It was truly beautiful from here. Even Kings Landing looked lovely and imposing from where you were. As you looked back at Aemond, he was looking at you again. You cleared your throat and gave him a small smile. “This is beautiful.”

“Mm. I assumed you would like a secluded place like this.”

You looked around again. “Yes, Prince Aemond. I do.”

He nodded and then looked out over the water as the breeze picked up pieces of his hair. “You and I aren’t so different, Y/N. You may have heard all these bad things about me, but I was made this way.” He looked over at you then, and the sight of him standing there, looking at you, took your breath away. “But I feel like I know you. I see parts of myself in you.” Swallowing, you take a few steps towards where he is standing. You toss the book at the base of the tree and then sit on the swing. “I brought you here because it is a place where I like to come when the world gets too dark.”

You rock back and forth on the swing still looking at him. “Thank you for sharing this with me, Prince Aemond.” You watch his throat bob with a swallow. “Truthfully, I don’t know what to think. Since I have met you, you have been nothing but kind to me.” You smile at him and feel your cheeks heat. “I- I think I would like to be friends.”

“Friends?” He asked, his eyebrows raising. The smile dropped from your face and your eyes went to your lap again.

“I-”

“No, Y/N. Friends is fine.” You looked up to see him look down at his feet and then back at you. He gives you a smirk. “I think that I would like that.”

Nodding, you start moving your feet beneath you to make the swing move. Back and forth. Your hair flies around you and the breeze tickles your cheeks. “What does it mean to be friends with you, Prince Aemond?”

He chews on his answer a moment. His jaw working before he answers. “I don’t think I’ve ever had one before.” You tilt your head at him skeptically. “But it means that you’re safe with me, Y/N.” You were slightly disbelieving, since he was the most dangerous man in the realm and his reputation was so bad. But you promised yourself to give him a chance. Maybe he needed to feel like he wasn’t alone.

You both spent the day in Aemond’s secret spot, learning more about each other. You told him about Old Town, about the Tower there and how the staircase whirled up so high that when you were a child it felt like you were stepping into the clouds. He told you that there was nothing like being above the clouds and that flying on a dragon is the most powerful feeling in the world. He promised that if he could, he would take you on a ride one day, show you what it felt like to be above the world and show you what it felt like to feel free. The more the spoke of it, the more it sounded amazing. You were never one for adventure and longed for the quiet solitude of your life at Old Town, but he made it sound so intriguing.

The sky went from a rich blue, to a mixtures of pinks and purples and Aemond suggested that you both head back to the Red Keep. You thought that it was probably a good idea since you were hungry, and the hour was fast approaching for you to get dressed for dinner. He stood first and dusted himself off, holding his hand out to you. You grabbed it and he pulled you up. When you stood, you lost your footing and fell into his chest. He held you up and you looked into his eye. He licked his lip as he stared at yours and you felt him lean down a little. You immediately turned your head and stepped away as the heat crept up your neck. Was he going to kiss you? There was no way that Prince Aemond wanted to press his soft looking, pink lips to yours.

You wiped your hands down your dress. “I-Thank you again for today, Prince Aemond.”

He cleared his throat, and you looked up to see him nod at you. Grabbing your book, you heard him begin his trek back to the Red Keep. You smiled as you followed him. Maybe the Prince wasn’t so scary after all.

The next couple of weeks went much like that. You would spend time in the library reading and the prince would come join you. Sometimes you would talk, sometimes you would just sit in comfortable silence. You came to enjoy Prince Aemond’s company and your preconceived beliefs about him slowly started to chip away with each moment you spent together.

Anywhere you were, the prince was always nearby. If you took a walk in the gardens with your mother or Queen Helaena, he would always pop up as if he was watching you. The thought of that should have scared you, but for some reason, it became comforting to know that he was always there.

It was also surprising to wake up and see a pink rose on the table next to your bed with a small piece of parchment rolled across the stem. You got up and walked to the table, lifting the flower to your nose. It was one from the day in the garden, when you first became friends. Unrolling the parchment, you read the words that he wrote for you and smiled.

Y/N

The flowers kept me company before you, and now they remind me of you.

-A

A knock sounded at the door, signaling the arrival of the servant’s there to prepare you for the day. You tucked Aemond’s note into the drawer and set the flower back down on the table. The door opened as you stood and the two serving girls that had been helping you since you arrived in King’s Landing entered.

You went through the process of dressing, but today you couldn’t stop smiling. Aemond was nothing like you thought he would be. At least if he was, he never let you see it. Instead, he would give you small smiles and kind words whenever he could. Another knock sounded at your door and Ser Criston entered. He bowed at you before speaking.

“My Lady. Your presence has been requested in the Great Hall.”

“Thank you, Ser Criston.”

With one last glance at the pink rose, you followed him downstairs.

Two weeks in Kings Landing and going to court still made you nervous. King Aegon sat upon the throne with Aemond at his side, hearing the complaints and begging of Lord and Ladies and of some commoners. You liked to stay towards the back and avoid any attention, but Aemond always kept his eye on you. Everytime you would glance at him, he would be looking at you.

Today when you glanced at him, he winked his eye at you, and you smiled as the heat crept up your cheeks. You took a step back into the shadowed wall.

A man walked forward to stand in front of Aegon and you couldn’t make out the words that were being said but the tension in the room grew thicker. A few people in front of you began whispering to each other and you slid further along the wall to try to hear what was going on. Aegon sat up on the throne and leaned towards the man in front of him. You watched as Aemond took a step around the man, his movements agile like a cat. Aemond’s face became stoic, and a darkness crept over it. The sight made your stomach drop and your heart face. He embodied his reputation before your eyes, becoming the harbinger of death that everyone said him to be.

You watched as he stepped behind the man in front of Aegon, pleading, yelling. Aegon looked at Aemond and gave him a small nod. You had picked your thumbs so bad that they stung and when you looked down, one was bubbling blood from the broken skin. Your eyes were darting between Aemond and Aegon and the man, blood filling your ears and you couldn’t make out what was being said. It all sounded like you were trapped under water. Felt like it.

Aemonds sword came down in a hard swipe, removing the mana head entirely. You thought you screamed but covered your hand with your mouth. No. No he was a monster. He was as terrifying as you believed. How could you be friends with someone like that? How could the same man that sent you a flower that very morning, the one that had become your closest friend, kill with no remorse, no second question.

Gathering your skirts, you ran from the Great Hall, exiting out of a side door. You tan and tan until your stomach began heaving. Gripping the green covered wall next to you, not caring of the thorns stabbing your hand, the bile came out of your mouth. Once your stomach was emptied, you sat down on a bench and put your head in your hands and began to weep.

After the chaos cleared in the Great Hall, Aemond looked around for you. He wanted to make sure you were okay. His eyes drifted to the spot where you were standing before. Where you smiled at him.

You weren’t there.

His eye slid across each face in the room and yours was not there. Had you left? Aemond stood next to his brother a few more minutes as he heard the last few requests. Once court was over, he found one of the guards posted near where you were standing. They told him you left and which door you left through.

Aemond walked outside, following the path through the garden. He heard a sound that made his stomach drop. He stepped over a puddle of vomit as he turned the corner and saw you sitting on the bench, with your head in your hands, crying.

He knelt in front of you and grabbed your hands, pulling them from your face. His heart squeezed in his chest at the sight of your tears.

“Who did this? Who made you cry?”

You looked into his face, tears trailing down your reddened cheeks.

“You.”

The look in his face when you said it made more tears slide down your face, like he didn’t understand.

“You were supposed to show me that you weren’t what everyone said you were.”

Aemond grabbed your face with both his hands, forcing you to look in his face. “I am not the monster you think I am.”

You squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head. Grabbing his wrists while his hands were still cupping your face you said, “but you did it so easily Aemond. I watched it.”

He let go of your face and tried to wrap his arms around you, but you pushed him off and stood. “No. I- I don’t think I want to be your friend anymore, Prince Aemond.”

Aemond’s face paled and he reached his hand out to touch you. You shrinked away from his touch, then turned your back to him and ran.

You spent the rest of the evening in your chambers. Not even coming down for dinner. Instead, you had one of the servants bring you a plate and you sat on the sofa in front of the hearth, listening to the crackling and popping of the logs as they burned.

The silence felt nice, and you welcomed it especially after the mind altering experience you had earlier that day. You felt bad about what you said to Prince Aemond, but you were emotional, and he promised you that he would prove to you, show you, how he wasn’t the beast he was rumored to be.

In a way, he did keep his promise and he was just fulfilling his duty to the realm, to his brother the King, but that didn’t make it any easier for you to swallow. You stood and walked over to the table next to your bed. The pink rose was still there, and you stared at it as you grabbed your book next to it. Chewing your lip, you wondered if maybe you should try to talk to him.

A light knock sounded on your door that made you jump. You grabbed your silk robe from the bed and shrugged it on as you padded to the door. You cracked it open and peeked out. Aemond was standing there.

“Good evening, Lady Y/N. May I come in?”

You looked around the hall behind him and then back to him. Unease crept up your spine. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea Prince Aemond. It would not be wise to have people questioning my maidenhead when they find out I’ve had a Prince in my room at night.”

You stared at each other for a few beats. It felt like time was at a standstill. You looked down at your feet and started closing the door. “Goodnight Prince Aemond.”

His hand shot out to keep the door from closing. He didn’t say anything but the look in his eye made you relent. Sighing, you opened the door and let him in.

Your scent enveloped him as soon as he walked in the door. Looking to the side, he saw the pink rose he picked for you laying on the end table. Good. At least you didn’t burn it. Maybe he had a chance still.

You passed him and went to sit on the couch, gathering your legs beneath you. The fire light flickering off your face made you look ethereal, and his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth as he tried to find his words.

Aemond cleared his throat, “I made you a promise that I would show you that you didn’t have to fear me.” You didn’t look at him. Your hands were twisting together nervously in your lap. He came to you and knelt. Gathering your hands in his, he continued. “You still do not have to fear me. I will never harm you.”

You pulled your eyes from your lap and looked into his as a single tear slid down your face. Your voice came out soft, a whisper. “I still want to be your friend Prince Aemond.”

One of his hands came up to cup your jaw, thumb wiping away the stray tear. He licked his lips, the sight of them soft and pink made your heart race. “I don’t want to be your friend anymore, Y/N.”

Your heart sank. Why didn’t he want to be your friend anymore? You had grown used to him being around, being there. A steady presence that you could rely on in this strange new place. “Why?”

Aemond stared at you for another moment and then let go of your face and stood. He stood in front of the fire with his back to you and then his arm lifted, pulling the eye patch from his face. You stared at him in awe, waiting. You were going to see what he looked like without the covering.

When he turned, you stopped breathing. He was the most beautiful person you had ever seen. The scar running down his face added to his dangerous and menacing demeanor. He was absolutely stunning. Words couldn’t explain how beautiful. Your heart was racing as he knelt in front of you again, and that’s when you noticed the large sapphire in his eye.

It must be one of the largest stones you had seen outside of in bits of jewelry. It glimmered in the firelight. You lifted your hand slowly, gently to his face, fingers dancing featherlight across his skin. He closed his good eye as you inspected his face. It was magnificent.

“I know I look like the monster without the covering. But I needed you to see me, really see me for who I am.”

His eye slowly opened, and you both sat there, surrounded in silence. “You are terrifyingly beautiful Prince Aemond.” You whispered. Your words dusted across his face. You heard him swallow and watched as the tip of his tongue stuck out to wet his lips.

Somehow, he was closer. So, close you were sharing breaths. “Why don’t you want to be my friend anymore” you whispered.

“Because I want more.”

He leaned in and brushed his lips across yours. He kissed you so softly, the barest of touches. It made something warm come to life inside you. His lips were soft and pliant as he kissed you again, this time a little harder. You tilted your head slightly and you felt his tongue gently lick the seam of your lips. You opened for him. He groaned into your mouth as your hands came up to wrap in the collar of his shirt. His tongue was soft, and wet and massaged yours with a surprising tenderness that you wouldn’t expect from a man like him. You felt breathless as his hand gently touched your neck and slid to the back of your neck. He leaned his weight into you, and you felt so warm and weightless in his arms with his lips on yours. You made a small whimpering noise that made him become a little more frenzied in his kisses. When you tried to pull away, he pulled you in tighter, tilting his head to get a better claim on your mouth.

When he finally let you pull away, your chest was heaving and there was an ache deep inside you that you hadn’t felt before. Aemond pressed his forehead to yours. “I want more. I want you Y/N”

You were still dazed by the kiss he just gave you, your first kiss. “What does that mean?” You asked him.

“It means whatever you want it to mean. I just want you.”

That anxious feeling slowly began to come back. You just kissed Prince Aemond in your chambers at night. If anyone found out-

“I can see your brain working Y/N. I will take care of everything. Don’t worry.”

You just nodded at him, feeling too stunned to speak. Just hours ago, you didn’t want to have anything to do with him. Now you just kissed him, and he was telling you that he wants you.

He pressed another gentle kiss to your lips before standing and walking to the door. You watched his back as he opened it and very quietly, he told you “Goodnight” before he disappeared through it, leaving you sitting on the couch touching your fingers to your kiss swollen lips.

“I think that the prince has taken a liking to you.” Your mother whispered to you while you sat together in the garden. There was no way that you would tell her about how he came to your chambers at night and kissed you. How did she know? You pretended to act stupid.

“What?” You asked her.

She rolled her eyes at you. “He always happens to be wherever you are, all the time.”

You glanced over to see him walking towards you and your mother. You put your head down to hide your blush. “We are friends.”

Your mother hummed. “Good afternoon, Prince Aemond”.

Glancing up you catch his eye and then bow and greet him also. “Lady Hightower, your husband has requested you. I’ll get Y/N back to her chambers in time to prepare for dinner”

Your mother patted your arm and stood, and she gave Aemond a small bow as she left. She absolutely did not wink at you over her shoulder as she walked away.

Aemond held his hand out for you to grab. “My mother thinks that you have taken a liking to me”

He pulls you up and you both start walking in the direction of the Red Keep. “Mm. Maybe I have.”

His words made you blush. Clearing your throat, you asked “What are we doing today, Prince Aemond.”

He stopped walking and looked at you. His eye went from bouncing between yours and your lips. “I would like for you to see the dragon pit.”

Turns out, the dragon pit was much too small for Aemond’s dragon. That or he just preferred to keep the elderly beast out of a cage. The symbolism of not caging his dragon was not lost on you.

You spent the day watching Aemond and the dragon trainers speak to each other in High Valyrian and walking around, observing, drinking it all in. The dragon pit smelled of burned flesh and other things, but it was natural for the dragons. What wasn’t natural to you, was just how large Aemond’s dragon was up close.

He pulled you by the hand close to her gigantic sleeping form. You ran your fingertips down the scales on her shoulder. They were hard and sharp, unlike any armor that existed. Vhagar was old and her age showed on her wings and on the scars littering her body. She was positively magnificent, and you were at a loss for words.

Vhagar lifted her head heavily and made a strange sound as you and Aemond approached near her head. Her inner eye lid slid open and watched you both, but it felt like the dragon could see through to your soul and it was laying it bare.

You swallowed heavily and stretched your arm out to touch her snout. Aemond was saying something to her in that ancient tongue his family used. When your hand laid flat against Vhagar, you released a breath that you were hoding and began petting her. Vhagar’s eyes closed, and she rested her head like some giant hound enjoying scratches. The purity and happiness of it brought tears to your eyes.

“She is magnificent Aemond.”

When you looked over at him, he was standing so close to you. He looked away quick and then studied Vhagar. “She is. The oldest and largest dragon in the world.”

You looked away from him and continued to pet her. “It is why you lost your eye, right? That is what the rumors say. That Aemond One-Eye gave his eye for a dragon. And not just any dragon, the most powerful dragon of them all.”

“Would you like to ride her?” His voice was soft, and his hand came to rest on top of yours. His breath blew the small hairs on the back of your neck, making goosebumps rise.

You chewed your lip. She was large but you didn’t think you were ready to ride her. “I-I don’t know. I don’t think I want to.”

You turned slightly and looked up at him. “Mm.” Was all he said before he leaned his head down and placed a gentle kiss on your neck, making your face heat. Removing your hand from Vhagar, you leaned your head back onto Aemond’s shoulder and closed your eyes.

It felt good. He made you feel good. He had this way that made you feel like you were the only person in the world with how he always found you and noticed you. He made you feel beautiful, special. You realized that he allowed you to see a side of him that he didn’t let the world see. He saved it for you. And that thought was a seed that bloomed into a flower in your mind and made you realize how much he was starting to mean to you.

Somehow at the realization coming to life in your mind, Aemond’s hand slid up the front of your neck and tilted your head to the side, so he could put his lips against yours.

Your body melted into his kiss. This one was different than before, still gentle but more passionate, more tongue. He licked the inside of your mouth and when he pulled away, he gently pulled your bottom lip. When you opened your eyes to look at him, his pupil was so large that you could barely see the ring of blue around it. His hand was still lightly pressed against your throat, your heart thumping against his palm as he ran his thumb along your jaw. He closed his eye, leaning his forehead against yours. You lost track of how long you both stood there like that, holding each other at the edge of the dragon pit, next to his ginormous dragon.

“Prince Aemond” someone said behind you. The voice made a chill run over your body. It was your father’s. Aemond unwrapped his arms around you and turned. You turned behind him and looked over his shoulder, making eye contact with your father before quickly looking away. This was not good. What was he going to say?

Aemond put his body between you and your father with his hand on his sword. The air went thick with tension. “Lord Hightower.” He took a step toward your father shifting himself further in front of you. You started chewing your fingers at their exchange.

“The King has requested your presence.”

“Mm. And what for? I just left him earlier.” Aemond’s voice was full of irritation.

“He did not say, my Prince.” Aemond didn’t move. Your father cleared his throat. “Y/N, you can come with me and let Prince Aemond go to his brother.”

Your eyes lifted from the ground, dancing back and forth from your father to Aemond. Butterflies filled your stomach, and your hands had a slight tremor. Aemond looked over his shoulder at you and then back at your father. “Y/N would you like to accompany me to see your King?”

“Prince Aemo-”

“I asked Y/N, Lord Hightower.” Being put on the spot made the tremors worse. Your mouth felt dry as you tried to speak.

“I- “

“Come Y/N” your father said.

Aemond turned his back to your father and held your trembling hands in his. He whispered, “you do not have to if you do not want Y/N”. Searching his eyes, you nodded.

“I-Father I would like to go with Prince Aemond to see the King.” Looking away from Aemond, you met your fathers glare. His cheeks were red, and his eyes narrowed.

“Very well. I would like to see you before dinner.”

“Yes father.” You watched your father turn his back and walk back to the Red Keep. Aemond was still staring at you. He brought his hand up to your face. “Are you alright?”

You nodded. “Can you take me to my chambers before you go to your brother?”

Clenching his jaw, he nodded stiffly, and he took your hand in his leading you both back to the keep in the same direction your father just went.

The silence had never been an issue for you but for some reason, the events of the day were weighing heavy on your mind. You paced back and forth in your room, chewing your fingers, waiting for your father to arrive. To scold you. The minutes felt like hours as you waited. Swinging the door to your chambers open, you asked the guard if your father had been by at all and they didn’t say anything. He said he hadn’t, and you shut the door in his face and went back to pacing.

Aegon sat at the head of the table in the small council chamber. He leaned back in his chair looking bored as always, like he would rather be anywhere but there right then. Like being King was a chore.

Lord Hightower sat across from Aemond to Aegon’s right. The old man was glaring at him and Aemond just gave him a small smirk. Let him feel uncomfortable. He was not ready for what Aemond was about to suggest.

Aegon tapped his fingers on the desk twice. “Brother. Lord Hightower suspects you have ill intentions with his daughter Y/N.”

Aemond folded his hands together in front of him and shrugged. He met the glare of the man across from him. “My intentions are not bad Lord Hightower.”

Aemond saw the veins pulse in Lord Hightower’s neck and forehead. “He had his tongue so far down her throat that she couldn’t breathe! I say that he has probably already deflowered her!”

Aemond slammed his fist on the table and stood. “My advances were not unwanted by Y/N. She didn’t push me away nor tell me to stop.” He leaned over the table and bared his teeth. “You should hold your daughter in a higher regard to believe she would give over her innocence so freely Lord Hightower.”

Lord Hightower looked at Aegon who had a smug smile on his face. “I want him to face punishments for trying to woo my daughter. She is not yours to do with what you choose!”

“Nor is she yours!” Aemond’s chest was heaving. How dare your father try to have him punished. And for what? For giving you the attention and company, you deserve? For showing you that you shouldn’t be afraid of the world. Aemond slowly sat back into his chair when Aegon waved him down. “Lord Hightower. I would like to make a proposition that would greatly benefit your house.”

Aegon looked at Aemond wide eyed, but Aemond was staring at Lord Hightower. “Prince Aemond” he said, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Y/N is too good for this, for you. She deserves better.”

Aemond clenched his fist. “I can give her everything she needs. Give her to me.”

Aegon started laughing quietly, trying to hide it behind his hand. Aemond glared at him. Aegon cleared his throat. “Lord Hightower, my brother wishes to wed your daughter. He stands to gain nothing and you everything. Maybe you should reconsider.”

Aemond didnt want to explain to his brother how wrong he was and that you were everything. He would gain the world if you were only his.

Lord Hightower looked down at his hands and then at Aemond. “I must speak about it with my wife”

“No” Aemond said. “You will decide. You kept her locked away in that fucking tower for eighteen years. I’m not giving your wife the chance or you for that matter, to do it again. If you so much as try, I will feed you and your wife to my dragon and then burn Old Town to the fucking ground.”

A knock sounded at your door that had you jumping from your spot on the sofa. You had fallen asleep waiting, even missing dinner. The fire in the hearth was now just coals. Your heart raced as you padded to the door and opened it. It was Ser Criston.

“My Lady, Y/N, your father has requested your presence.”

Wiping your sweaty palms down your front, you nodded and then followed him down the corridor. When the door to your parents chambers opened, your father was facing the fireplace, forearm resting on the mantle. Your mother was sitting on the sofa and gave you a small smile when you entered. The door shutting hard behind you made you look over your shoulder at it.

“Come sit, Y/N” your mother said, patting the spot next to her.

Swallowing, you went and sat beside her. Your father cleared his throat but didn’t turn to face you. “We thought we were doing the right thing by bringing you here, but I am afraid that we were wrong.”

His calm voice made the anxious feeling swirl in your gut. “What do you mean?”

Your mother put her hand on your leg. “Darling, you have attracted the attention of Prince Aemond.”

Your hands twisted together. “I know. We are friends.”

“Friends don’t stick their tongues down each other’s throats Y/N” He scoffed. “And Prince Aemond. Do you know what kind of man he is?”

“I- I’m sorry.” You shook your head. “I know what others say, Father, but he has been nothing but kind to me. Been my friend.”

Your father finally turned and took a seat in the chair across from the sofa. “They call him Kinslayer, Y/N. He is not your friend!” His knuckles gripped the arm of the chair, and he leaned forward, eyes darting between yours and your mothers. “No matter. You will marry him.”

“What?” Your mother and you both said at the same time.

“Yes. Y/N will marry Aemond One-Eye.”

Your mother and your father began exchanging words, back and forth but you didn’t hear anything. Your heart raced, pumping so hard the sound of your heart beating echoed in your ears. It became hard to swallow. Why would he do that? Yes, you were friends and yes, your father saw him kiss you, but why go so far? Wouldn’t a Prince be betrothed to someone else? You were sheltered, too soft, and you hadn’t been in Kings Landing but only a few weeks.

“How soon?” Your mother’s wobbly voice sounded through your foggy mind. Your eyes slid over to her. They were wet with tears. Why were they so afraid of him? He wasn’t that bad. Not to you. Your eyes darted to your father as his mouth moved but you couldn’t hear what he said, so you asked him to repeat it.

“Before the next moon, you will be Princess Y/N.”

You didn’t return to your chambers after leaving your parents. Instead, you told your escort to lead you down to the gardens because you needed air. It was late and the usual bustling in the Keep was nearly silent, only passing a few servants doing their nightly chores. When you came to the exit, you told the guard to stand at the entrance and wait for you. When the night time breeze kissed your face, your feet carried you around a corner. Looking around and listening, making sure no one was following you or could see you, you ran.

You ran and ran, muscle memory taking over and leading you to the door that led outside of the garden. It was probably not a good idea to wander outside of the gates alone, but you had spent so much of your life feeling caged and after the conversation you had with your parents, you just wanted to leave. Get away.

Your calves burned as you climbed the hill, step after step, until you came to the clearing with the tree swing. Your pace slowed then, and you looked out to where the sky touched the water, and admired the stars scattered across the sky. Looking up and down the beach, you didn’t see anyone, so you slipped your shoes off and walked to the shore.

The moon was like a fingernail in the sky, but the stars reflected enough light for you to see. Your feet sunk into the sand the closer you got to the water and when you reached the edge you stepped right out in it. The waves pushed and pulled at you gently and you let it tug you further out, your dress floating around you.

The breeze picked your hair up, blowing it around your head. Fully clothed, you held your breath and dunked yourself in the water. You held your breath as long as you could, until your lungs started burning. Quickly, you pulled yourself up for air, standing as the waves crashed into you and tilted your head up to the stars.

How did you go from living in the tower at Old Town, hidden away from the world two months ago, to here now, standing in Blackwater Bay, betrothed to Prince Aemond. The Kinslayer. Aemond “One-Eye”, they call him. A murderer. King Aegon’s Sword. He had more blood on his hands than most of the guards that worked for your father and the City Watch combined. He was dangerous, terrifying, and beautiful. The large scar across his face and the patch that he wore over his eye so he wouldn’t frighten people made him even more alluring to you than the whispers behind his back. The man you were terrified of. Intimidated by. The man you admired from a distance.

Until he showed you that you didn’t need to be afraid of him. That you could trust him.

The realization made you feel free. You closed your eyes and breathed as the wind made you shiver. Your wet clothes clung to your body and the breeze was cold. Hugging your arms around yourself, you started trudging through the water. You walked along the beach and back up the hill. Once you made it up top near the swing, you picked up the hem of your dress and pulled it over your head. You sat there in only your wet shift, teeth beginning to chatter. Discarding the dress, hanging it over the swing, you then hugged your knees to your chest and watched the waves.

A rustling of the grass behind you made you jump. Turning your head towards the noise, Aemond appeared. He stopped in his tracks as he looked at you.

“Hello betrothed.” Your voice came out soft and quiet.

He made an “mm” sound as he approached and sat so close that your shoulders were touching. You embraced the warmth seeping from him. “It’s for the best.”

You turned your head to look at him and his gaze met yours. “How?”

“It is only I who may give you the world that you deserve. You shouldn’t be afraid of anything. Not anymore.”

A small smile tugged at your lips, and you laid your head on his shoulder. It was silent for a few moments, the waves lapping the shore the only sound. Very softly, you spoke. “Thank you.”

He turned his head and you lifted yours, resting your chin on his shoulder. He leaned in and kissed you softly. So soft and airy. A gentle touching of lips. His hand came up and stroked your jaw as he tilted his head, turning into you and deepening the kiss. You opened up for him, allowing his warm wet tongue entry into your mouth. The kiss was fervent and deep, and it felt like he was trying to use his kiss to tell you how he felt without words.

The kiss continued to deepen and Aemond groaned into your mouth as he slowly lowered you to your back on the ground. He climbed over you, fitting himself between your legs, never once breaking the kiss. You brought your arms up and wrapped them around his neck. He groaned again and pressed his hardness into your now aching center. You made a small whimpering noise that he swallowed.

His hands began to explore you. Slowly dragging his shaky hands from your jaw, down your neck, to your collarbone where he slid the sleeve of your dress from your shoulder. He pulled his mouth away from yours and then bent his head to place a soft, open mouth kiss on your shoulder. He grinded himself into you again, making you lift your hips to meet his movement. You had never felt like this before, with your body aching with need.

He lifted himself off you and the loss of his warmth made goosebumps rise on your skin. He unbuttoned the top of his shirt and then pulled it over his head. Your eyes drank in his lean body as he leaned back over you. His mouth immediately found yours again, and his hands continued to wander. His palm met your breast, and he slowly ran his hand over your puckered nipple. He leaned down and flicked it with his tongue through the material of your shift. The sensation caused your hips to buck again, and he rubbed himself on your warm center.

“You are so beautiful Y/N”

You bet your lip and whimpered as he sucked your fabric covered nipple into his mouth. You pushed your fingers through his long hair at the nape of his neck as he lifted his head and did the same thing to your other nipple. His hands rubbed up and down the sides of your body and you arched into him.

His mouth took yours again as one of his hands slid down to your thigh and rubbed light circles on the inside. “Are you okay?” You nodded. “If I slide my fingers over your center, you’re going to be wet for me, aren’t you? I can feel how hot it is from here.”

His words made you groan and nod vehemently. He placed an open mouthed kiss on your jaw as his hand slowly slid the hem of your shift up and he ran his knuckle slowly down your seam. You pulled his face to you, seeking his kiss and he gave it to you, thrusting his tongue deep. His other hand holds himself up as he takes what you are so willing to give. His tongue licks against yours as he slides one finger down your pussy from the top to your entrance in a featherlight touch that has you moaning into his mouth.

“Shh.” He whispers into your mouth. “Keep still, Y/N.” Your chest heaves as he slowly circles the tip of his finger at your wet entrance. He slowly slides his finger tip inside and you feel your pussy suck his finger deeper inside. “Fuck.” His words sound shaky. “You’re so warm and tight.”

You whimper against his lips and dig your nails into his shoulders. You feel a little stretch as he adds another finger to the one that is already pumping inside you. He pulls them out and slides them up to rub at your clit. His touch is so soft, so gentle, that your thighs quiver around him. He continues his actions, shoving two fingers inside you, working his wrist, pulling them out to tickle your entrance and then slide them up to your silken, slick flesh. Over and over, he does it to where you can hear your wetness as he thrusts again.

Slowly, he removes his hand, withdrawing it from between your legs. And you are so wanton, so achy, that you whine and beg. “Please Aemond.”

He kisses you again. “Shhh. I am going to take care of you. Trust me.” He licks his tongue into your mouth. Pulling away he leans back on his knees and pushes your shift off your body. Where the breeze was making you cold before, Aemond has you so hot right now that the breeze is almost as painful as the need deep inside you.

He flattens his palms on your inner thighs and spreads you wide. You fight the urge to cover yourself as he leans down and presses his forehead to your fleshy thigh. He inhales deep and it makes you blush and bite your lip. You toss your head back as the tip of his tongue finds your entrance and he licks you slowly up to your clit. He repeats the motion slowly and then presses a soft open mouthed kiss on your nub before sucking it gently into his mouth. “Mm. You taste so good. I have been dying to have your sweet nectar on my tongue.” His tongue slides down your seam until it gets to your entrance, and he slides it inside you.

The intrusion feels so good. So warm. Aemond’s tongue curls inside you and you grab his hair and grind yourself against his face. One of his hands is under your ass and the other comes around your thigh and grips your mound, opening it up for him. He pulls his tongue out and starts open mouth kissing your clit, lightly flicking his tongue on it. With every pass of his tongue, you whimper and shake. As he sucks on your clit, he puts two fingers in your pussy. “Give it to me.” he tells you. Within two more sucks, a sob rips from you. That sensation you were chasing finally erupts. You throw your head back, hips bearing down on his face with short rough jerks, and you continue until you are too sensitive to be touched there.

“That’s it, Y/N” he tells you. Your pussy clenches down on his fingers. He kisses it again and your body jerks.

“Seven Hells, Aemond.” you whimper.

His face is wet with your arousal as he licks his lips. “Look at the mess I made of you pretty girl.” He kisses your pussy again and you shove at his head. He hums as he sits back on his knees again and begins to come out of his pants. His cock springs free. It is intimidating as it bobs and hits his bellybutton. He must notice your apprehension because he leans over your body again and says “Shhh. I won’t hurt you” and then kisses you again.

His cock nestles itself in your folds, and he grinds into his. The head of him rubs at your clit and it makes your body jolt each time he does it. His kiss is slow, agonizingly slow, as he rubs his cock against you. Pulling away, he presses his forehead to you.

His hand grabs the base of his cock, and he tugs on it, a bead of precum leaking from the tip. He lines himself up at your entrance and then sucks on your bottom lip. “Take a deep breath.” You do. “If it hurts to much, tell me.” You nod.

At first the stretch burns, it’s foreign. You can feel every vein and the notch of his head as it slips in. He looks down at you. “Are you okay?” he asks.

You nod. “Y-Yes.”

He pushes in more. “Fuck it’s so tight.” His words make you whimper and dig your nails into his biceps. He looks down at where you two are connected. Another inch. He throws his head back. His arms are shaking with holding back. “It’s going to sting. But it will feel better after.” You nod again and look at where his cock is entering you. He pushes more in. More and more, against the slight resistance, and then his hips come to rest against yours. He doesn’t move. Instead, he just leaves it there. His eye meets yours and you reach up to touch his face. Your hands are shaky, but you are gentle as you slowly run your fingers over his jaw and around his head before pulling his eye patch off. His cock throbs inside of you and you clench your walls around him. He hisses as he leans down and kisses you.

He begins to move inside you, slowly at first. One of his hands come up to cradle beneath your neck, while the other holds himself above you. He presses his forehead to yours. The intimacy of the moment is not lost on you, and he holds your gaze as he slowly pulls out and thrusts back in. Skin to skin, eye to eye, shared breaths. He pulls out and thrusts back in, over and over. “You are mine now, Y/N” You nod at him. Yes, you nod. You have never wanted anything more. “I vow that I will protect you.” Thrust. “Keep you safe.” Thrust. “Mine.” Thrust.

His hand around your neck slides down your body until it is situated between you, and he begins rubbing at your clit again. It makes your pussy squeeze down on him hard. You start to grind into his thrusts with the friction of his hand, making that feeling build inside you. You can hear how wet you are with each pierce of his cock inside you. He continues to rub circles and it isn’t long before you are a sobbing mess, frantic with need and writhing wantonly beneath him, begging him to let you come again. Everything feels so good. So magical.

The orgasm that takes over your body feels life-altering and as you come down from it, you realize how much this moment changes everything. Aemond holds eye contact as his cock starts to swell inside you and his pumps become hurried, unsteady. He pumps and pumps and then groans hard, animalistic, throwing his head back. The veins in his neck straining with his orgasm.

The two of you breathe heavy as he brings his mouth to yours. This time, the kiss feels different. It feels like more of a promise. Like the one he made when he was inside you.

He pulls himself out of you and rolls over, his cock glistening in the starlight from your juices. He throws his forearm over his eyes as he lays there in the grass, under the tree where he made you the first promise and now, so many more. You can feel his come leak out of you and he looks over as you open your legs and touch your fingers to your pussy, pulling away a string of your mixed orgasms. He groans and rolls towards you, opening your legs and spreading your pussy to him again. He stares at where you leak and then rubs his finger around your sore entrance, gathering the come that has escaped and then puts it back in. When he pulls his hand away, he sucks his finger into his mouth and then leans over and kisses you.

It is erotic and sensual, and the flavor of your shared release makes something bloom in your chest. He pulls away and presses his forehead to yours again. “Mine.”

193 notes · View notes

onewmin · 8 months

Text

the perfume on the shelf. pt. 11 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, mentions of verbal and physical abuse, descriptions of a toxic relationship, mentions of s*icidal thoughts, profanity, descritpion of a fire, the reader loves her cat very much, another day of the reader and Chan being annoying (the latter especially), jealousy, the reader is going through major changes (good for her), another bunch of Taylor Swift references, the reader has yet another traumatic experience; typos

In the parts with the cat it's very much self-inserted. Shout out to my cat and all other kitties and doggies <3

'Dal' stands for 'moon' :)

Word count: 5411

Author’s note: welp, there's a lot to read lol. Idk why this whole work lacks happy moments so much, I'm trying my best to make it more positive, but in the end... We get this lol. Still, hope you enjoy another part! I'll try posting part 12 in a couple of weeks, but, as my summer vacation is over, I'll have a lot of work to do, so I cannot promise you an exact date. Again, thank you fro reading and supporting 'the perfume on the shelf' and enjoy the ride! (put ya seatbelts on)

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 10 | Part 12

Another day to cry in the bathroom of your therapist’s office.

Wiping your red cheeks, you took a deep breath in, trying to calm this sudden outburst of pain down. Talking about your unsuccessful attempt to go back together with Chan resurfaced in something deep, something that has affected you too much to even be able to handle it on your own. Your fear of rejection has finally become real - and instead of feeling calm after so many years of being scared of it, you found yourself utterly broken.

As long as you could remember yourself, this fear of being rejected has pressured you into staying out of the picture, of never saying what you truly feel. You were shaking at the thought of confessing to Yugyeom, when you were a teenager; your breath was hitched in your throat when you decided to join that writing club at university; the idea of asking anybody out made you sick to your stomach. And finally, all the mess with Chan was partially launched by your inability to ask direct questions, to come clean eventually. However, your initial choice was to live a lie, to let yourself have dust thrown into your eyes, to rather have smoke and mirrors than an honest relationship. What does this say about you?

“I don’t know”, you muttered, looking at the reflection in the mirror. “I don’t know”, you repeated, sniffing and exhaling once again. When you were nineteen, everything seemed so easy. When you were nineteen, you seemed to know everything.

“What would nineteen-year old you say about this whole situation?” Your therapist’s question was left unanswered, rather as introspection for the next two weeks. What would she say, really? That’s a walk in the park for her.

“Dump his ass”, the advice you used to give all of your girlfriends popped up in your head. “Find a new hobby, work more, go out more - do anything to forget him. He’s not worth your tears and time”. Easier said than done.

You sighed once again, before collecting your lip gloss back into your purse. It’s time to go home and prepare for going out; even though you try following your own advice, the thought of Chan is a lingering memory, a signature left right on your forever restless brain.

Running up the stairs on your subway station, you checked your messages to find Yugyeom and Eunjoo discussing art in the chat. Two weeks ago, after the airport incident, when Yugyeom was dropping you off at your apartment complex (the conversation with your parents about your early departure from the countryside was guided by Gyeom perfectly), Eunjoo caught the sight of the two of you while she was waiting for her best friend on the bench. For some reason she decided it would be a great idea to start going on ‘double dates’ - although, you could barely call them dates at all. She was unsure about her relationship with Minho, so she needed you to check up on him. You didn’t want to be the third wheel, so… So she invited Yugyeom. And now the four of you had a group chat. Was it a nightmare? Absolutely. You found out what nerds Gyeom and Eunjoo were; discussing everything - even rocket science, are you kidding me? - while you and Minho intervened in their intellectual conversations with memes and ridiculous videos to watch. For instance, when you sent a Tarot reading video, just for shits and giggles, just to send a follow up message, “This woman said I’m gonna have a billionaire husband in a couple of months” - only to get bashed by two absolute smartasses for your silly little hobby, as they threw in their pieces of mind on how Tarot is a scam, and it doesn’t work, and people like that woman are a fraud - et cetera, et cetera, blah-blah-blah. Minho, on the other hand, was pretty supportive (and a pain in the ass for Eunjoo and Yugyeom) when he sent in ten more videos of that same creator, chiming in with his comments about toxicity. Yeah, this chat was a shit show; however, it was bringing you too much joy to hate it.

In your apartment your cat greeted you with irritated meows and sweet purrs when you took her in your arms as if she was a baby. “Mama’s sorry, Gaeul”, you said, kissing her in between ears, “but I promise I’ll be back sooner than later. Just a couple of hours, okay?” She started gently biting your hand as you tried to scratch her tummy. “And you get to be the boss of the house. Not just for a few hours”, you kissed her nose and she put her paw on your cheek, “but forever, Gaeul”. She jumped from your arms as soon as you heard a loud stomp and a screeching curse - ugh, your neighbours were fighting again. How could a family that looks picture perfect hate each other so much? Well, you knew the answer to the question, but still, it never failed to arise every time you heard these two fight.

“You’re a piece of shit, Hajoon!” You sighed as you heard the man’s voice. “A piece of shit wife and mother!” This was the unfortunate reality-TV-turned-real-life program you had to listen to; the walls were rather thin not to hear them constantly fight over stupidest things in front of their little girls. When you saw the two of them ride their bikes and laugh, you always wondered, how they managed not to lose their innocence yet - with parents like theirs, who trapped themselves in a toxic marriage, the innocence of a child being saved was a miracle.

The drama continued as the woman cried out harsher curses, accusing her husband of cheating. Is that the life that awaits everyone in a marriage? Is that the life you’re going to have too? That’s what your parents have; constant fights, verbal abuse, toxic apologies with flowers and luxury candy, and no words uttered. No resolution of those conflicts, no rethinking of the life choices they’d made to get to this point of no return. Nothing. And this family, a family so similar to yours, was the same. Only the girls were lucky to have each other and not to be alone. However, calling the kids ‘lucky’ for lulling each other when their parents scream all types of insults, calling the children they created with ‘so much love and affection’, as the mother posted on her stories, ‘mistakes’ when they were in another room - calling them ‘lucky’ was a direct insult.

Accompanied by curses coming from a wall away from your living room, Gaeul was circling around you the whole time you were collecting your things. When you looked at the wrist watch, it was already ten minutes past the time you should have left the house. “Shit”, you mumbled, rapidly taking the bag in your hands and giving Gaeul a couple of more scratches, while she was meowing and standing in front of the door. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours, sweetie”.

You were supposed to be drinking as the four of you were going for some type of party one of Minho’s friends was throwing - so taking the car wasn’t an option; you didn’t know much about Changbin, but you were willing to get out of your shell and meet new people. “Maybe you’ll finally find a boyfriend there”, your mom told you over the phone, “you’ll be thirty soon - not really soon, though - and your father and I are waiting for grandkids. Your cousin is already a mother”. Ugh, yeah, whatever. Some nonsense that your mother confidently states is out of this world sometimes.

Running up to a bus stop, you conveniently saw your bus pull up; jumping in it, you paid for the ticket and sat down on one of the many empty places, staring out of the window. As the music took you to another dimension, your thoughts flew by, pictures of your mother nagging you about the prospect of marriage, Chan putting his arm over Micha’s shoulder, Gyeom stuffing his mouth with a sandwich in one bite, Eunjoo and Minho holding hands ran in your mind with a uncontrollably rapid speed. You were thinking about Chan less each day, the images of him being replaced by your friends, new people you met and surprising revelations you made about this world and, first of all, yourself.

Every bus ride that lasted more than twenty minutes - just like this one - got you hooked on rethinking and reflecting on every little thing that had ever happened to you. Sometimes it would be sappy, rainy autumn day like memories: Chan holding your hand while driving, bringing it to his lips to leave a small kiss on your knuckles every time the car stopped at the red light; you and him lying in bed, face to face, heart to heart, having those rare sincere conversations, filled with laughs and kisses. Whereas sometimes you’d lose yourself to cheerful moments, those July bright yellow afternoon days memories, with Yugyeom watching you chase after his golden retriever Dal; with you watching some happy kids fly kites while on a picnic with Eunjoo; with you writing your earliest stories in your old diary, sitting behind the desk in you sunlit childhood bedroom. The happiest that you were, in all of those memories you couldn’t even find the ghost of Chan; as if he had never existed in the most joyful moments of your life. As if - no, no ‘if’s’ - he had only brought you pain, and tears, and gut wrenching disgust towards your own self, towards the little girl, singing along the radio songs in her parents’ car, towards the fifteen year old girl, who wrote her stories on her old laptop and squealed after getting her first likes on the web, towards the woman you’d become. The woman who made stupid mistakes one after another, noticing but not seeing the pattern she had with every lover of hers, not seeing Chan being the same guy like the rest of them in her history. The woman you’d become, the woman you’re still thriving to be - she doesn’t deserve the slander you put her through.

There might have been happiness during him - his jokes, warm hugs, car rides to his parents’ country house, him playing with Gaeul, his voice, his soft curls, his late love confessions. But there would certainly be more happiness after him, after this whole mess you yourself created. No acid rains burning your cheeks anymore, no scratching yourself so much you start bleeding anymore, no gray colors during the brightest sunny summer mornings. Is this what the phase of acceptance looks like? Is this where you stop blaming Chan for the pain he caused you? Nah, you’re not there yet. But close. Definitely close.

Receiving another text in the group chat, your thoughts suddenly led you to the anxious search for your ID in the handbag of yours. “Shit, shit, shit”, you muttered under your breath, when you realized it was nowhere to be found. Did you lose it on your way to the bus stop? Or did you lose it here? Oh no. You rolled your eyes at the clear memory of seeing it on the kitchen counter before you rushed out of the apartment. How could you be so irresponsible? You’d never forgotten your ID, ever in your life, even taking it to the convenience store at 7AM to get a snack on your day off. And now, when you clearly needed it to get in the club, you’d left it at home? Super responsible, girl, just awesome.

Having jumped off the bus at the nearest stop, you caught yourself feeling absolutely shameless about the fact of being late. After you moved almost to the outskirts of the city, not being on time has become your signature mark. Now you were texting your friends, explaining the whole situation, while getting in an Uber - just to shorten the forty minutes you’d already spent on the bus to twenty-five. And as the car started off, your friends couldn’t leave you alone.

“Gyeom, I’m sorry”. The first words you said to him after picking up, annoyance recognizable in your voice. Yeah, you were the one being late, but Mr. Punctuality didn’t have to remind you about it as well.

“I’m actually late too”, he let out a breathy chuckle. What? Kim Yugyeom coming late?

“What happened?”

“Nothing”, he sighed, “I just spent too much time on the phone with my dad”. You hummed in response. “I can pick you up, by the way”, Yugyeom added.

“You don’t have to”.

“Ah, it’s not like I’m goin’ to be on time anyway”. The yippy notes in his voice made you reflect the smile he was probably wearing on his face. “So it’s not a problem, really”.

“Thanks, Gyeom”.

“I’ll be at your place in, uh, around ten minutes”. As you ended the conversation, you heard the siren sounds in the distance. It wasn’t an unordinary occasion: the song of the sirens was playing almost an unstoppable tune every minute of the day, as the ambulances were rushing through the busy streets, or the firemen were driving to stop the fires. It was not unusual for a city like Seoul; however, the closer you were getting to your apartment complex, the more the clump of fear inside your chest grew.

The first thing you saw when the car turned to your building was the blinding light of the fire truck. Then it was the group of firemen. After it was the crowd, surrounding the fire engine. The last thing was the smoke coming out of the apartment on the fifth floor. From the apartment right next to yours.

Jumping off the car, you rushed through the crowd, forcibly pushing apart the nosy neighbors and bystanders, only to be stopped by a firefighter. You couldn’t think of anything else, of other people, of the party you were late to, of the things in your apartment - the only image in your head was of Gaeul. How scared she must be, how she’s probably sitting in the corner of your room, far away from the strange and dangerous smell. The clouded vision of yours, the tears in your eyes were invisible to you. The only thing you needed was to get your baby out of there.

“Miss, you cannot go in there”, the voice of the firemen echoed in your ears.

“My cat’s in there”, you mumbled, but he heard you, “I need to get her out. It’s an apartment right next to that that’s burning”.

“We’ll get her out, no need to worry”. The calm notes in his voice had awoken some primal rage in you - how could he even say that? You couldn’t not worry, for fuck’s sake!

You quickly disappeared in the crowd so that the firefighter wouldn't recognise you if something was about to happen. There was an emergency exit, but they were probably evacuating people through it, right? What should you do to get in?

As the thoughts were rapidly running through your head, you saw smoke coming from another window. Your window now. Your heart sank; everything around started spinning slowly and you grabbed your chest in order to calm yourself down - at least, a little bit, at least, before you took Gaeul in your arms.

Fuck it. You hastened your steps through the crowd, away from the main entrance, in hopes to get lost amidst those being evacuated, in hopes to get through the emergency exit without being caught. In the inner yard of your building your restless, teary eyes noticed one fireman guarding the entrance; and over there, on the bench was your neighbour from the fourth floor, a fourteen year old, holding her brown dog close to her heart.

“Hello?” She picked up her phone, the shaky voice of hers bringing more blood to your already jolting heart. How smart it was to exchange numbers with her all those months ago.

“Could you distract that firefighter for me, please?” You uttered, while looking at her. She turned her head and found your eyes. “My cat’s still in there. I can’t… I can’t wait till they save her. Please”. The girl nodded and quickly rose up to her feet, probably coming up with an idea of taking the fireman’s attention.

She ran up to the man, still holding the dog in her arms, and started rambling something loudly, the hysteric condition of hers being the direct result of this horrible evening. “What was she up to?” You thought to yourself as you moved from a tree to a tree as fast as you could. “Was she walking her dog when the fire started? Was she at home?”

How convenient it was to have a bunch of trees to grow in the inner yard of the apartment building. “I should thank the managing lady after it”, you watched as the firefighter turned his back to the entrance - now. The adrenaline in your stomach felt like a fuel to the fire of anxiety and fear; as you leapt up the stairs, two, three steps missed, your heart was pumping somewhere in your throat, bringing the inevitable, horrible thoughts to your brain. You brushed them off before you reached your floor, running in the corridor, which was filled with smoke, with an empty head. The door to your apartment was being broken down as you ran up to it, right on time - maybe, the first time you were not late in the last couple of years. The firefighters weren’t pleased a resident was out in the dangerous area, but you quickly opened the door - having promised you’d let them in without getting inside yourself - breaking the recently made promise immediately when the lock was open, dropping the keys to the ground. If the building management had fixed the electronic locks on time, maybe the whole building wouldn’t have to use keys; maybe, the fire issue would have been resolved earlier, had the firemen had an easier access to the apartments.

Gray. Choking color gray - that's what your apartment was. You could get suffocated in here just for breathing in the smoke, but was it even a priority? You would die but get Gaeul out of this place.

“Gaeul!” Your voice came out quaking, eyes getting watery with every step you took. “Gaeul, baby!” Almost flying into your bedroom, you noticed her scratching the window in hopeless attempts to get out. “Baby, you’re safe”, you whispered, swooping her in your arms. She let out a weak meow as you covered her chubby face with a palm of your hand. The firefighter was quick to escort you from the apartment, having thrown a blanket from the couch over your shoulders. You wrapped Gaeul in it when you got to the hall; she was meowing as you ran down the stairs, telling you how scared she was. “I know, honey, I know”, you kept on repeating, “you’re safe now”.

The fresh air hit both of your faces abruptly, making you gasp and cough. Holding Gaeul as close to your heart as it was possible - perhaps, if you squeezed her tighter, she would be inserted in your heart directly - you sat down on the grass next to the girl with a dog sleeping on her lap.

“Is she okay?” You nodded, leaving a kiss between Gaeul’s brown ears. She started purring, exuding that velvety purring of hers that signaled of her finally feeling safe. After finding her in a pouring rain, as her dirty little paws left marks on your white hoodie and her squeaky voice notified you she wasn’t pleased with being carried by some stranger, after washing her up and taking her to the vet, after making sure she felt comfortable in every corner of any of the places where you lived, after teaching her to use the litter box, after buying her the most expensive and delicious food she liked, after having her sleep in between your legs every night since the first one she spent with you, after building up your whole life around her when you needed someone to give your unconditional love to, after having no suicidal thoughts the moment she took a step in your apartment, after having her as the only living creature who loved you unlimitedly - how could you sit and wait till they save her? How could you leave her little figure in the hands of fate?

“Mr. Choi set his apartment on fire”, the girl said while petting her dog. “That’s entirely his fault”.

“Tell me about it”, you mumbled.

“Why didn't the police do anything when they were called on them last week?” She questioned. “He literally threatened to burn the house down”. You shrugged your shoulders. No one really did anything when he threatened to jump off the window, no one took his threats seriously when he promised to burn the apartment if his wife got on his nerves again. Yeah, like it’s a reasonable excuse for a possible homicide. What a scumbag.

“He ran away though”. She sighed. “But they’ll find him in no time, I guess. Mrs. Choi said he broke his wrist trying to hit her, so he won’t be far away”. You nodded absentmindedly, eyes still focused on Gaeul. She already seemed peaceful, only her yellowish eyes still being completely overtaken by the dilated pupils. She was lying on your legs, covered by that blanket. “Isn’t it your phone buzzing?”

Oh, that was the annoying feeling in the pocket of your jeans. “Hello”. You responded in a monotonous voice.

“Where are you?” Yugyeom sounded panicked. “I’ve been calling you for the past ten minutes! Are you okay? Where are you?” He repeated. After muttering a few words you hung up, putting the phone on the grass. The autumn nights started to get chilly; but you were willing to stay seated on the cold ground as long as it took for Gaeul to fully calm down.

In mere seconds Yugyeom appeared in the inner yard, dashing to you. “Are you okay?” He observed you carefully, and then the gaze of his fell to Gaeul, curled up on your lap. “Are you okay, sweetling?”

“She ran into the building to save her cat”, your neighbor proudly proclaimed. Yugyeom gave a look - not the ‘Are you crazy?’ or ‘You’re insane’ one, but the look, striking as… Worry? Pain? Hurt? Love?

“I think the two of you need some warming up”. His soft voice impinged upon your indifference to everything but Gaeul; it seemed as if the part of you that was scared started to heal as soon as he helped you get on your feet. For the first time in the last half an hour you shivered under the cool wind, and Yugyeom took his zipper hoodie off to put it on your shoulders.

“You’re wearing a T-shirt”. You stated, looking at him. He gave you a small smile and shrugged his shoulders.

“I like the cold. I’m like Johnny Storm, y’know that”. You let out a breathy laugh - the first one after pulling up to the building. Your cat was already napping in your arms - the safest place for her, as it turned out - so you and Yugyeom slowly moved to his car.

The windows of your neighbors had ruined the whole front of the building - now the gaze of any person would fall on black frames around them. “I wonder if my landlady is here”. You said, when getting on the passenger seat.

“D’you want me to find her?”

“Gyeom, no”, you answered in a soft voice, ‘you’ve already done enough”. His brows knitted as he looked at you with utter confusion written all over his face.

“I didn’t do anything except for panicking and calling Minho and Eunjoo”, he noted, “and not like it’s hard to help you. Especially now”.

You gave in rather quickly. “Alright”.

“Give me her number, so I-”

“Just take my phone”, you shoved the device in his hands, “she doesn’t pick up if she doesn’t know the number”. He nodded before getting out of the car.

And as you were petting your sleepy cat, you felt the tears being finally let go from your eyes. Gaeul woke up when the salty drops fell on her side and, after staring at you for a couple seconds, started to licking herself up. You laughed through the choking tears and caressed her head and back, thinking how much your life had changed since the moment she magically appeared in it. It became… Brighter, funnier, sweeter. Even when she would wake you up at three AM ‘cause she was hungry; or when she would try to eat the yarn whenever you crocheted; or when she would sit on the kitchen counter while you were cooking. The thought of losing her made your heart hurt even more than it already was.

“We’ll be fine, right, baby?” You murmured when she started snoring quietly; you turned your head to look out of the window and noticed Gyeom in the distance, still talking with someone over the phone. A strange feeling of being absolutely safe around him had arisen in your chest the moment you saw his worried face tonight; maybe you shouldn’t push him away too hard - he’s one of the few people you can trust, after all.

Gyeom was right; he cannot certainly save you like he used to when you were kids. You can come up with a rescue plan yourself, like today, when you couldn’t wait for anyone else to save the most loved part of you. Anyone but you. Gyeom cannot save you; but he can give you the sense of comfort after you help yourself get back to life.

“Gaeul”, you muttered, “how long it’s been since we called him ‘Gyeom’?” A short version of his name, and he hated being called that. But when it came to you, his first love? He blushed whenever you said ‘Gyeom’. And why did you start calling him that again? Maybe that’s a sign, you thought to yourself, leaning your head back, maybe I do need him around.

“So you mean to tell me”, Jisung was talking with his mouth full, “that you and Micha are not together? What’s the point of bringing her here then?”

Chan let out a deep sigh. It was only a matter of time when Han found out. “We are together. But we just don’t like labeling it as a ‘relationship’ Just give us some more time”.

“ Are you kiddin’ me? It’s been two weeks, Chan!” He gnashed his teeth. “Every media outlet is calling me to confirm whether the two of you are together. What am I supposed to tell them?”

“That it’s none of their business”.

“It doesn't work anymore. Is she your girlfriend or not?”

“She is, technically”, Chris leaned in his chair, “we’re in an open relationship”. Jisung set his palms down flat on the table, the heavy breathing of his sending shivers down Chan’s spine. He loved riling his friend up, but sometimes he seemed to forget Han was also his manager. A scary one at times.

“I swear to God”, Jisung hissed, “I’m gonna kill you and replace you with another dude. No one will see a difference”. Chris chuckled and went back to his dinner, leaving Han’s question unanswered.

Him and Micha had a lot of history; but when he showed up at her door, drunk to the bone, she was more than shocked. He kept on complaining, crying about you, cursing you, proclaiming his love for you. Micha was impressed only by him being that emotional - nothing like that ever happened when they were together. A couple of days later one thing led to another and… Some time after that she was already packing her bags to go to Melbourne with him. Was it a smart, calculated decision? Absolutely not. But Chan, for whatever reason, promised to support her financially before she’d find a job there; alright, to be honest? He wanted to hurt you. To hurt you the same way your reconciliation with Yugyeom made him feel. Chan wanted to see you suffer as much as he did, to see you try to beg for him to come back to you. Spoiler alert: you never did.

Except for the airport incident. He almost caught the slightest glimpse of you, almost canceled his entire flight, almost called off all the business he had in Australia. If only he could delve into your features one more time, he would’ve put everyone aside. ‘Cause if you were there and he saw you, he wouldn’t need anything else. But he didn’t see you, so it was all settled as it was supposed to be.

Han was grumbling something under his breath while Chan was scrolling down the latest news; some of his friends had a comeback coming up, the other was starring in a new drama, the third proposed to his girlfriend… Everyone seemed to have their life put together but him. When he laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, Micha’s head resting on his arm, Chan would only think about a life he gave away. He could’ve been lying in his bed now, with his head snuggled into your neck, inhaling that sweet scent of yours right into his system. He could’ve been waking up to your leg lapped across his. He could’ve been with the woman he’s in love with, not the one he pretends to love. Micha doesn’t deserve this; but something tells him that she knows - just pretends not to notice.

‘Hey, doesn’t this house seem familiar to you?” Han shoved his phone right into Chan’s face; when his eyes could finally focus, he recognised the building immediately. “They report it’s been a fire, they’re still locating it”, Jisung continued, “and the guy who started it wanted to kill his family. What a piece of shit”.

The only thing Chan could see was smoke coming out from the apartment scarily close to yours. He was unable to forget the window of yours, the window he would always look up to just to see your smiley face. “Can I borrow your phone?”

Jisung swallowed his food, looking confused. “What for?”

“I need to call her”. Han rolled his eyes but obliged, lending the phone to his friend. Chan practically jumped from his seat, running from the second floor of the restaurant they were in to the street. Chan was aware of you blocking him everywhere; so he hoped you’d pick up if Han called. What was that logic? Why would you even pick up?

If the fire was still being located, how big is it? Were you home when it started? Were you not? Is Gaeul okay?

Long beeps only fueled his anxiety. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Please.

“Hello?” The voice on the other side of the phone wasn’t the silky one Chan was hoping to hear.

Chan asked for your name. Was it a cop? A firefighter? A doctor? “She’s okay, she wasn’t home when the fire broke out”.

“Who am I talkin’ to?”

“Kim Yugyeom. I’m a friend. You?”

Another tingling in his chest, every little blood cell of his running to his head, fueling his rage and pain, mixing them altogether. So, Yugyeom is there? After all of your claims he meant nothing to you?

“Hello?” Yugyeom asked once again. “Say your name at least, so that she’d know whom to call back”.

“Don’t you see the name on the screen?” Chan’s words came out harsher than he planned. “Sorry, whatever. Don’t tell her anything”. Chris hung up the phone and let out an exasperated sigh. Rubbing his face with his hands, Chan couldn’t even comprehend what he was feeling. Why was the mere thought of you and Yugyeom in the same space bringing him the worst pain of it all? It was jealousy. It was all the love he couldn’t properly give you resulting in that horrendous feeling of envy. The feeling that Yugyeom might give this love to you. The love that you deserve.

How long will he continue pining over you? Maybe he should just start paying more attention to his actual girlfriend rather than the dream woman of his?

Taglist:

@heylookwhoitis @amaranth-writing @itstorimf @tenshimara @whyyougottadothatbro

The story's masterlist <3

41 notes · View notes