#do yall see what i see? am i making sense?

[bookscandlesnbts]

RPWP by RM Thoughts

I know I haven’t been active in a hot minute, and I’ve wanted to be; I even have some drafts. But life has been kicking my ass recently and I’ve been really down and not up to posting or trying to collect my thoughts. I want to do this album justice though because I know the stupid fandom won’t at this point and everyone is only screaming about the few sexual lyrics and missing the point of everything per usual. Maybe that’s just the salty asexual as me, but god there are more messages in this album than sex that should be given wayyy more attention like the fact that Namjoon has told everyone to fuck off when it comes to him smoking and him saying fuck you to the government that he’s not a diplomat. Anyway, I love the album. This is what I wanted from Joon minus my Frank feature that I will forever cry about not getting. This album really reminded me of the instrumental out of the box production and song structure of Tyler the Creator (I’m also a huge fan) and the amount of people in comments I’ve seen on social media being like who is that? have me dumbfounded. Yall please expand your horizons. I promise you can listen to other music besides BTS. Tyler is widely influential and such a cool artist not to mention that he is very popular. Of course not all fans live in America so I’m not talking about them necessarily, but if you live in the US, you should have heard of Tyler the Creator. To me it makes sense to listen to music adjacent and that was a clear inspiration. Namjoon recs his music taste all the time too, but I digress.

I’ll list my favorites from the album so far in no particular order. I’m a huge fan of the opening track. It’s funky and sets the tone for the record. Other than that, I love all the songs that we get hard hitting rapping from Joon. I love Nuts, Domodachi (shoutout Little Simz ily), out of love, Interlude, Groin. I do like the title track even though it’s not my favorite, but it really picks up halfway through. And I love the closer Come back to me. I feel like Namjoon let out of all his rage and frustration only to come back to himself at the end of the record, and in the context of the album as a whole, it’s even more meaningful and beautiful.

Since I’m in music circles with people who love artists who definitely influenced this record and featured on it like Little Simz, I am hoping that they give it a spin but not holding my breath. Regardless, I think Namjoon is amazing and I’m so glad that he gets to carve his own path as an artist and make the music that he wants to make.

Lastly, I can’t wait to see Joon and Mimi listen to this album. I bet they will have some introspective and deep conversations as well as a multitude of Jimin giggles from the amount of cursing and those sprinkles of the sexual lyrics that yall are just relentless about.

That’s it from me, for now. Hoping for good news next week but preparing for the worst as well.

#bts namjoon #right place wrong person

[waterparksdrama]

ok i’m sry but y’all just seem to fully seriously hate parx fully… what why ru even running this blog at this point if u genuinely don’t like the music or members anymore. i mean i would get it if it was openly a hate blog(what it is at this point tbh) but y’all rly frame it as. not that.

am i just missing/misinterpreting sm ?? like yes obvi everyone makes fun of awsten online all the time but that’s just like. lighthearted. yall seem to fully hate him and i’m so confused.

hate him if u want i’m not defending him or whoever’s opinions in this i’m just. what is going on.

it's just like. awsten is very capable of being self aware and writing good music but also at the same time he displays the complete opposite of that despite even saying how self aware he is.

especially as fans for so long it's sort of morbidly interesting to see where awsten keeps landing himself especially as he keeps interpreting himself as some sort of revolutionary underdog defending the sake of artistry when he is like very far from that (maybe that's madden influence maybe that's living in la for too long or maybe that's just a result of him getting older and making albums in succession without a good quality filter)

but he's so goddamn capable of making good music and lyrics it's just that he's way too aware of his place in the world now being overly perceived and knows the things he has to do to keep his image up that he comes off like a weird frankenstein of a person sometimes in his songs where he can't be overly sincere but he also can't be too "uncool".

listen we like the band but also we're not kids and it's easy to see through this weird facade of "lore" when we get asks about awsten the real life person doing things offstage. most people who get into parx get too attached to the concept of something being attached to awsten that they can't help but go all in even when it's not him (in a lore and literal sense) but we've seen awsten over the years and he's capable of doing much better just maybe not within panopticon of his main fanbase anymore - iz

#this blog is like a dissection of waterparks and i'm eating his intestines when you're not looking basically

[rubixpsyche]

Theory that people liking awful awful characters (i'm people) is the inverse of the cuteness-aggression behaviour

We see someone so terrible the "getting the woodchipper" becomes "oh i wanna smush em and watch em commit more atrocities. my babygirl. oh i hope you have everything you want. i know you broke that it's ok. my lil meow meow who has done no wrong ev-"

#do yall see what i see? am i making sense? #this started as a joke but like im starting to REALLY believe it #im comparing how i feel about warcrimes mcgee to how i feel about the lil kits ive seen irl and my god. it s like they switched places #i might be onto something here (<- ego fluctuating) #fandoms #tldr talking abt villains like they re cats & talking about cats like they re villains #the cube clicks #HOMIES AM I ONTO SOMETHING? #this could be known fact alrdy dont kill me if it is #problematic #<- adding tag idk maybe the ppl i want to see it will see it

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[skeletal-butterflyy]

Mike loves taking care of people. He loved taking of el in season one, and he loved taking care of will in season two, he loves feeling needed. He desperately wants to be the knight(paladin) that will sees him as. Mike and el love each other but not the way that mike and will do. Mike was only able to say he loves el because will told him that “el” would always need him no matter what:

Mike even says that he knows el doesn’t need him and that’s why they’re having problems. It isn’t mikes monologue that gets her out of Vecna’s vines, it’s max. We even see it in the last scene of s4 where el is separated from the rest of the group. She’s become independent, doesn’t need just mike, as a romantic interest, she’s not a damsel in distress. What she does need is the support of her friends and family.

You know who does need mike though? Will! He makes it clear through the painting and his monologue in the van scene, and we see how happy this makes mike, to know he really is needed. That’s why byler works.

#this is so incoherent and there’s so many holes in what i’m saying #can you tell i’m trying so hard not to say anything bad abt milkvan #I don’t hate the ship it’s just clear what theyre trying to do with this #we see that wills always had his platonic relationships but what he really needs in the end is mike (his romantic interest) #and that el has always had mike(the romantic interest) and what she needs in the end is her platonic relationships #duffers love subverting tropes and the shy tortured gay kid not dying and ending up with his love interest will be the perfect example #again incoherent but whatevs #byler #byler endgame #byler proof #byler s5 #byler evidence #byler nation #will byers #mike wheeler #stranger things #st5 #st5 speculation #milkvan is bones #william byers #michael wheeler #stranger things 5 #don’t come for me yall it’s 2 am and i don’t make sense 🙏🙏🙏🙏 #mike x will #miwi #cleradin

[opikiquu]

(rocking back and forth in the corner of an empty room) save me white boy save me white boy save me white boy s

oh my god. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS . BOY.

#my first reaction was ‘what? his eyes do glow!’ and then i proceeded to cry #★ arin rambles #sorry i need to let this out #AVENTURINE. AVENTURINE oh dear #IM DR RATIO YOOHOO #HEYYYYY HEY HEY HEY HEY PLELASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEE #IM BEGGING YOU. IM BEGGING YOU #im getting a job so i can e6 him /j #Yall im obsessed with this man i have to have him kill me #like everytime i see him my eyes pop out like those ugly stupid pens with squishy animals on them #i think my body mustve sensed him or something #i literally woke up at 7 am in a cold sweat #im not gonna be normal #IM NOT GONNA MAKE IT #5 DAYS IS TOO LONG YALL IM NOT MAKING IT #IM GOING TO THROW UP #aventurine pleade aventurine please aventurine aventurine save me #AVENTURINE. #Please babygirl what i gotta do to get a suicidal blonde to kiss me around here??????? #sorry if you follow me it will get worse #he a masterpiece . he changed my life . he a work of art……. #aventurine honkai star rail #hsr aventurine #AVENTURINE #OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OH MY GOD PLEASEEEE P #PLEASE ONE CHANCE ONE MINUTE ONE SECOND JUST A GLANCE #im gonan thriw up IM GONNA DIE #tears in my eyes

[mainapnifavouritehoon]

hi guys i-

#Hey so i wanted to talk about this really bad this has been bothering me for quite some time #i have been busy a lot these days and i dont get time at all to do anything but i can see myself wasting my time just scrolling #I have school and then coaching and then ofc i have to study on my own for which i barely take out time as im highly careless #My last 2 exams went absolute shit and that fucking scares me because i'll be having my JEE soon #Mummy has been telling me to stay away from my phone and ik she trusts me but she but she deserves a daughter that studies ig? #And now i kind of consider that as an option because this phone is very very distracting #I have been thinking about deactivating but i realized it would mean i would lose all my precious posts and interactions #So i wont be deleting this blog as i am too attached (i will be coming back istg) #I will be taking a break and ig thats what yall call a hiatus #I will be giving away my phone to my parents (trust me i have to) #Ik this will be hard for me to just leave all of a sudden so i'll slowly start vanishing if that makes sense? #This message also doesnt mean that i will be shutting down my phone rn at this moment and that this is goodbye #This is just to prepare the people that i love and who love me that i will be highly inactive and not come online for maybe months #This is not an impulsive decisions i have really thought through this #Also just to tell you again MAIN ABHI GAYAB NAHI HONE WAALI BUT THODE TIME MEIN I WILL GO ON A BREAK THIS IS JUST A PRE HIATUS MESSAGE #Also i hope you guys will still love me and remember me once i come back #Because coming months are going to be hard for me #I hope you understand and ily guys okay? #(Oh god why am i so dramatic about everything) xoxo

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

its so mindboggling that people can go “how can you say free palestine if you’re queer” as if the opinions a person has changes the validity of their life??? yall sound real similar to the people saying trans people are a danger to society

#like how can you seperate that #mass murder of a group based on something they habe zero control over is wrong full stop #stg though i see this So Much and it makes zero sense #yeah ok i dont like the values the far right holds but i dont think they should all die? #and like also completely disregards even the *possibility* that there are queer ppl in palestine? #So Interesting to me bc as soon as you can depersonalize ot suddenly you side with the oppressors #i just actually cant stop thinking abt this #like how can you say ‘trans rights’ and then turn around and ignore the bombing of hospitals #how can you say ‘equal rights’ for any marginalized community while not seeing this as a genocide #whats different? #genuinely what is different #yall literally sound like the transphobes trying to say most people regret transitioning when there’s overwhelming evidence this isnt true #like holy texts didnt matter when they were used against gay ppl but now you use it as justification for the mass slaughter of palestinians #obviously not to say the bible actually said any shit against gay people but like. yall fr #since when have we let people’s *interpretation* of holy texts validate murder #what is different #i know im prolly preaching to the choir and also im lowkey terrified of this reaching an audience that disagrees #bc i am not prepared to come up w evidence based arguments #i do not have time for that #rambles

[brookheimer]

honestly, if the shiv pregnancy plotline is done well, i feel like it would end up being kind of, like, revolutionary for female characters in prestige television? 'revolutionary' is a strong word, but even so! just... prestige television is obsessed with the whole Strong Femininity-Rejecting Career Woman archetype and it's a trope that's often been lauded as empowering, as allowing women to be complex like male characters. except... often they're not complex like male characters, they're complex as male characters in that they're treated basically like a 'complex male character' stuck into a female body. the explanation is a legitimate one: the female character rejects classical femininity. sure. the better shows will depict the lengths these women will go to be perceived as 'masculine' in order to survive, to thrive in their patriarchal world. but regardless of the show, the vast majority of Strong Female Characters are never allowed a lot of things that their male equivalents would: namely, love and sometimes family. it's like we think that if a Strong Complex Female Character falls in love or wants a relationship/a family, she's no longer a Strong Complex Female Character, she's just a Female Character. that is so incredibly detrimental! it reifies the belief that love/family/etc are inherently 'feminine' things and that inherently 'feminine' things are inherently weak, and any woman who displays 'femininity' is no more Strong or Complex than a 1950s housewife.

so for shiv, a Strong Complex Female Character who admittedly has spent the majority of the series surrounded solely by men (she's had maybe three conversations without a man present?), ensconced in the 'masculine' defense she's created for herself... for that shiv, girlboss shiv, Strong Complex Femininity-Rejecting Career Woman shiv, to get pregnant and have to reconcile the version of herself she needs to present to the world with whatever she actually is or actually wants (because frankly, we as an audience have no fucking clue what shiv wants in life outside of logan and waystar royco) and her own fear of anything remotely approximating 'femininity'... well, assuming shiv remains shiv, remains manipulative and calculating and angry and machiavellian and 'masculine' and everything else she's inherited from her last name -- everything else that makes men on the internet call her a sociopath -- while also being allowed to explore her relationship with femininity, to maybe want kids or a family because that isn't just a Woman Trope that's also just a natural human desire for connection that many people experience, to be not just the woman or the anti-woman but a fully fleshed out person... i mean. that would kind of be huge, i think.

[more under the cut! like, a lot more. be fucking warned]

really, Strong Career Women were created as the antithesis of the television housewife. the housewife displays every emotion except for anger and deeply desires love and family. therefore, the Strong Woman will display no emotion but anger or pride (because those are the only masculine emotions) and have no interest whatsoever in love and family (because men don't have interest in love and family). and that, obviously, is horseshit -- men experience the entire human spectrum of emotions and desire love and family and all of that, because that's literally just part of being a fucking human. but while prestige television frequently explores the interiority, humanity, desires and dreams, etc etc etc of their complex male characters, they very rarely do the same for their women, at least not outside of the bounds of career and/or other areas where the woman in question demonstrates her power and masculinity (such as relationship power plays). we can't explore the humanity of Strong Female Characters because then they'd show emotion and desire love and connection, which would out them as women, as housewives, not Strong Female Characters.

we think emotion and yearning deepens male characters and lessens female characters, because we 'expect' that from women but not from men. when a woman cries on television, we think 'here they go again.' when a man cries, we think it's a shocking and meaningful display of vulnerability. both in-universe of the shows and in real life, in the writer's room and beyond, Strong Complex Women are only taken seriously so long as they reject 'femininity' as much as humanly possible. Strong Complex Female Characters have to be one-note, because if they show any other notes, they stop being seen as strong or complex. their lives begin and end in the office, in the presence of men, in the persona they've created for themselves. if there is a self beyond those boundaries, we never see it. we're not allowed to. Strong Women are uniquely forbidden from those basic aspects of human life, even more so than men, i'd argue, because to display any of those qualities would be to out yourself as A Woman and prove everyone right, to lose any and all credibility you've ever gained in your entire career because now they now you've been A Woman all along. but that's not realistic, that's not human. yet because they are still women and on some level do still want to be seen as women, but that's impossible to balance with the need to be seen as a man. there are almost no female characters that are allowed to simultaneously embrace 'femininity' and desire 'feminine' things such as love and family while still prioritizing their careers, being cold and manipulative and calculating, and presenting 'masculine' in the way they handle themselves.

i'm not saying shiv has been poorly written so far, or that succession has been, like, enormously sexist by keeping a lot of her interior life private. i think in large part this has been purposeful and makes a lot of sense -- after all, shiv is notoriously most resistant when it comes to self-reflection, possibly more than anyone else; kendall obsessively introspects, roman hates it and deflects but that's largely because he already knows what he is and can't bear to be reminded of it, but shiv is... well, a little delusional at times. forcibly delusional. she has to delude not only herself but everyone else around her in order to survive as a woman in a man's world, a liberal in a conservative company, a hardcore capitalist in a bernie sanders campaign. kendall wants to be a good person but knows he isn't, roman doesn't believe it's possible for him to be a normal person let alone a good one, but shiv clings onto these label of Good Person and, i don't know, Essentially A Man, with such intensity and desperation that any actual self-reflection would literally be suicide. it would burst that bubble entirely and then what's left?

well. what IS left? because, i mean, something would be. she's still a person. she's not a robot programmed to imitate men and show no emotion or desire (god knows she's not even good at pretending). but shiv would never take that step of her own volition. she'd never just sit down and think "hm, let's actually dig into what i really want from life and from myself" -- and even if she did, she wouldn't be honest about it.

then boom. pregnancy. "oh fuck i am a woman. oh fuck what if i do want a kid and this is my only chance. oh fuck" etc etc etc. it's not reducing shiv to being a womb (crazy take, by the way) but it's actually expanding her from being the lack of one. rather than simply being a Woman with a distinct set of qualities and no contradicting ones or an Anti-Woman with the opposite set of qualities and not a hint of anything that could be construed as a former, she'd become a person. obviously, you can be a person and a woman without being pregnant or wanting kids or a family, but we don't even know what shiv wants! she hasn't allowed herself to consider it seriously, because that would be betraying her Anti-Woman Survival Method! it's not saying that pregnancy/family/etc are necessary for a full and happy life, but rather, spending your entire life terrified of showing interest in anything perceived as 'feminine' and thus weak, of showing emotion or desire or love because you know how the men in the room will receive it -- that isn't satisfying! that isn't a happy life! that's a life lived in fear, denial, and repression masked as Masculine Self-Sufficiency to such an extreme extent that men don't even do that. the only thing worse than a man displaying 'feminine' characteristics is a woman displaying 'feminine' characteristics -- the feeling men talk about when displaying emotion is the disgust, judgment, and dismissal women (particularly those trying to perform masculinity/live in masculine spheres) experience on a day-to-day basis. while a man displaying emotion is met with shame in the moment, a woman displaying emotion is seen as a confirmation of what the men around her have been thinking all along: she's weak, she's not up to it, she's a 'woman.' men can shake it off. women can't. the reason displaying emotion feels uniquely hard for men is because it's their first time being treated like a woman.

anyways. i digress. succession has been hinting at things all along -- moments that show she genuinely loves tom, the conversations with her mother, etc -- and now that throughline can actually, y'know, follow through, and it might be fucking great, guys. that's what i'm hoping for with the shiv arc -- her trying to reconcile with the fact that she's a woman, and the show using it as a way to explore the bizarre and arbitrary way we assign 'femininity' to natural aspects of human life and desire, making those things impossible for women to ever even consider wanting or earnestly caring about if they want to be seen as people rather than as capital-w Women (and what is a capital-w Woman anyways?), and just, like, idk. i think it's idiotic to act like women like shiv aren't allowed to want kids and families -- and that narrative is so deeply ingrained in society that the presumably largely female/feminist/progressive online succession fanbase has been constantly reiterating that same trope as a genuine criticism levied against the writers' decision to make shiv pregnancy!

i said in another post that this plotline feels to me like... high risk, high reward. yeah, it's high risk, it could go terribly in so many ways, but to me personally as someone who has been endlessly endlessly fascinated with the internalized misogyny within so many 'feminist' narratives and the apparent belief that strong women aren't allowed to 'act like women' if they want to continue being seen as strong, as someone who has unironically written a multitude of papers and articles on this topic for college and for journals, the reward is just SO fucking high. like, this could be a fucking GAME CHANGER. if they pull this off it might genuinely alter the way prestige media writes 'strong female characters' which is something that has been needed for years. there will always be risk in storylines as historically ridden with misogyny as pregnancy/abortion/etc narratives are, but if there's any show right now i trust to approach this with care and deftness and real thought, it's succession. if it flops, it flops, and that will genuinely suck. a lot. but even if there's only 1% chance for success, that's still, like, 0.9% more than any other show i can think of. so fuck it. full speed ahead, baby. do this shit right

#jesus motherfucking christ this was a doozy #my blog is so funny bc it's like: 1min succession shitpost (5000 notes) 234298498k word essay about a character (12 notes) #perpetually in awe of people who can be concise. that is not me but godbless #if even a single person reads this entire thing i'll eat my hat. christ #hopefullyyyyy this makes sense and has value for some people. lolol yall must think im insane huh #look i'm in bed with a fever what else am i gonna do? my work? no #whatever. might reblog later if like Really really nobody sees it bc it's 4 pm on a tuesday but meh #succession #succession spoilers #shiv roy #succession meta #i guess. honestly more like prestige television meta LOL #casey shut the fuck up about shiv roy #< new tag. have one for roman but clearly need one for shiv too #long post

[boxwinebaddie]

hi uncle nina! sorry if this is kinda overbearing, but you havent posted anything today so i just wanna check in and make sure youre doing okay! <3

oh my god, sweetheart!!! this is not overbearing AT ALL! this is extremely thoughtful and makes me feel extremely validated. <3

i'm sorry for causing concern, but ty for being concerned about me.

because the school year is coming to a close, things around me at work have been pretty intense, so i've been tossed around like a ragdoll the past week and haven't had much time to write as a result. i also haven't been sleeping very well and rush a lot in the mornings, so i've forgotten to take my mood stabilizer the past couple of days which makes me v sluggish, zombie-ish and unpleasant in general. :/

...when i am like that, as a weird way of sparing you, i suppose, i try not to post on here too much because it feels quite shitty indeed for you to get a notification for my blog just to watch me bitch n moan.

however, i have taken my medication today and feel bad for fumbling kyle week...as we know i'm not really good at holding myself accountable or making deadlines. oddly enough, it's not that i don't want to answer my questions, it's just that other than not being able to really find the time recently, i just can't find the right...words?

( this ask is long and irrelevant, but read if you wish. ilysm. )

or, rather, i don't feel knowledgeable enough the subjects to answer? specifically in the areas of my tsot/tfbw styles and ncuniverses, i feel a little insecure because i don't know sp or the games as well as many other people do, so i'm trying to speed watch episodes/watch speed runs of the games online so i can at least keep some canon intact?

i also am finding that creating and understanding how high fantasy universes work is...difficult? lmao? also because i did crazy stuff with mutations and science and politics in my tfbw ncuniverse, that's also complicated and out of my wheelhouse...tldr: i have big ideas, but i'm not very good at backing them in fact or doing analytical stuff.

but...iiiiii need to, lmao. mental illness, but if i make a universe it has to be fully realized, it has to all make as much sense as possible, echo the canon, enhance it, feel real and be fluid...so if i'm not around too much it's because i'm trying to bolster myself with my sp knowledge ( ik, i'm a fake fan ) and watch/read/research high fantasy concepts and superhero/scientific fiction/dystopian stuff...so if anyone has any recommendations for me to watch or learn from in those realms, i'd appreciate it. again, this is intense...but i care a lot about my craft.

and specifically crafting something worthy of all of you, that makes sense, lives and breathes, reflects the show we love & is interesting.

ANYWAYS!!!! with that said, i got a cool ask about whether or not i have a gunslinger kyle? which? not yet? BUT YOU'RE A GENIUS BABY I AM SOOOOO ON IT!!! please let me cook and watch some things because actually, oh my god, i am very down. i'll update you. i might make a board to gather ideas, omg, omg, it'll be SPICY.

i got an ask about princess kylie, which, bless you, i am also still developing her character, i am going to pour over the books, watch some GOT, do some mapping out, watch some intricate dnd play throughs...and have some answers for you very soon: hang on, baby.

( she's little, bitchy, prissy and does need to be babysat, i'm afraid. )

got some on jersey i'm excited about! sorry for writing that ask meme about the sour skittles like that, again, writing has been trying for me lately and i had a concept that i wanted to share but wasn't sure how to express that. if you guys are alright with getting my asks in the form of notes some times i would appreciate it! anyways, keep your eyes out for some of those...if kyle week runs into next week, sorry.

idk...this is so long. all this to say...i'm really sorry? i haven't been a very solid creator lately, but i'm a little unstable rn. but i am working on it and i hope to be back on the horse by tonight and share my notes at least and show you guys how my brain is working.

in the mean time, please direct as many questions as you would like in the direction of riley, teri and ana who not only are epic writers but have been an epic support system/helping me get back into things.

thank you for caring, thank you for reading...keeping up with this blog and the questions and creating constantly is sometimes challenging, but very rewarding. i promise that i am not neglecting my asks or all of you because i don't care, its actually because i care very much and only want to give you stuff that is awesome and cool and well researched. so, again, just give me a second to get my barings and while it kind of eats at my bad bpd brain i might try and share stuff with you guys that's half baked because the feedback might help.

tldr: i love you, this made no sense, i'm a mess, but i am fine.

miss you and love you. happy kyle week.

-uncle nina

#sorry this is such a mess #tldr i am busy and a little unstable and my writing has been blah but i'm very into intense world building rn #and i want to do more research and figure stuff out before i try to randomly dish out answers #but i'm thinking now that maybe i should just tell yall what i'm thinking and see how you feel? idk #i do work hard on my character stuff so i hope u enjoy it #but yeah high fantasy is specifically hard for me so i'm watchin movies and reading books and stuff which is dorky #accuracy means a lot to me and its the only way i get relaxed when i feel comfortable in my characters and worlds #political stuff and sciencey stuff is also hard #i also dont even know how accurate that is to the tfbw plotline in actual sp so im trying to watch the show and play #the games idk im worried none of this is canon enough #bc i dont want it to all be fart jokes and asisnine but i do want them to be accurate to the show at least a little #nina stop bastardizing the sp canon #otherwise i am excited to answer my kyle questions i promise i have just been frazzled ill try to do stuff tonight #thanks for sticking with me and i really hope this makes sense i feel like i sound crazy i just...want to do good work #thats all i dont like to do work that feels shitty or lazy and in order to not do that i take a while to think

[soldier-poet-king]

Fuckin screaming

My boss, after reading the RFP I wrote last week: oh but I didn't think the history section explained the use case well enough [well you didn't give me any info so I was going based on what I could piece together], your appendix didn't include xyz fields [YOU DIDNT TELL ME THEY EXISTED AND I HAD NO WAY TO FIND THAT OUT SINCE y'all aren't even following BASIC RM principles when it's not convenient], what about xyz problem [ITS IN THE FUTURE STATE REQUIREMENTS. DID U NOT FUCKIN READ THEM. THEYRE IN BRIGHT RED FOR A REASON], your questions for the vendor seem too vague, we need specifics and answers in 2 weeks [specifics in what sense??? You haven't laid out a plan for this!!! It's not MY FAULT y'all decided to engage a vendor BEFORE doing an RFP or even OUTLINING THE BARE MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS FOR YOUR PROPOSED SOLUTION. Like ofc it's gonna be weird and clunky YOURE DOING THE WHOLE PROCESS BACKWARDS. AND THE MFING COMMITTEE CANT GIVE ME A SINGLE ANSWER SO IM PULLING FUNCTIONAL REQUIREMENTS OUT OF MY ASS]

NOTABLY she did not comment on the requirements section. Y'know. The actual core and central purpose of this document. The whole reason it was given to ME (the only computer literate archivist in the group) like??? HELLO. Please. Please sit down and tell me what you think the purpose of this document and the process of engaging with a vendor is like. Please. Please tell me how you think ANY of this works, or how you expect it to work on your whack ass timeline

The IT guy?? On the other hand??? I asked him for a second pair of eyes on the technical requirements (BC unlike SOME people I know my fuckin limits and I'm primarily a records manager not a database designer) and he was like oh no it looks great you nailed it and it's exactly the type of document they should be using.

So like. One of the only other ppl in the building who knows what they're talking about agrees with me. He however has the ability and a legitimate reason to recuse himself from this whole shitshow. *I* do not.

#franposting #i am genuinely like so mad rn. #WHERE IS THE COMPETENCY. OR AT THE VERY LEAST COMMON FUCKIN SENSE #OR LIKE #KNOWLEDGE OF HOW THE WORLD WORKS AND BUSINESS PLACES OPERATE #i know we're all la di da in non profit land but like #HELLO??? THIS IS NOT HOW WE ENGAGE TECH COMPANIES MA'AM #nor is it how we get FUNCTIONAL solutions to this ACTUALLY VERY EASY TO SOLVE PROBLEM YALL ARE JUST DUMB #im so mad im not doing ANYTHING else today out of spite #im gonna sit at my desk and listen to the tge audiobook #oh csevet we're really in it now. #truly the fantasy secretary trope appeals to me for so many reasons #but one of the biggest is just. i am a competent organizer and fast learner and logical thinker surrounded by IDIOTS ALWAYS #and its like. wrangling my superiors and higher ups into seeing sense #because they dk what theyre talking about. but you are just a lowly worm so ofc you cant just outright SAY that #you have to coach them qith obsequiousness into thinking they reached the conclusion themselves #bonus points for women not being allowed to be confident and prideful in their capabilities #i am going to fuckin. explode #once again. make me supreme dictator of information management in my workplace or die by my sword

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP

#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI #hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA #(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING????? #my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??)) #like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent #he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy #cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me #its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird #idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on #a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but #STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also #i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it #look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could #make me worse <3 I Want Him #and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3 #i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER #OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS) #might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really #GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3

[filthyjanuary]

i'm so sick of my fellow iranians being cringe as fuck on social media and simping for the state of israel out of some insane the enemy of my enemy is my friend mentality like i know this is crazy but you can hate the iranian government without deciding to go full monarchist and act like israelis are liberators of literally anything or anyone

like i'm sorry if the best you can envision for iran is trading one authoritarian for the son of the previous authoritarian (who was literally overthrown bc he was an authoritarian puppet of the united states) solely bc of his name then you hate the iranian people more than i can image

#like why are they somehow hitting the same level of insane cringe as indian nationalists #also stop parroting these dumbass slogans that don't make any sense like iran isnt islamic republic like ok what does that even mean #it makes as much sense as hamas is isis #yall are just saying words that you think sound catchy but are ultimately meaningless #like yeah iran hasnt been an islamic republic for most of its existence #it currently is #that has clearly not worked out and it can and should change but like that's literally factually what it is rn #and it's dumb as shit to act like there ARENT people that do support it #you are never going to gain ground if you accuse literally everyone of being a paid state actor who disagrees with you #or if you see the world in so black and white that you think bc the iranian government is bad israel's government is good #or act like the actual revolution in 1979 WASNT born out of legit grievances #like obviously that went incredibly sideways but like #what is with this insane whitewashing of the shah all of you are so embarassing #sorry i cant rant on twitter bc of the Job so i gotta do it here i am so fucking tireddddddd #i wish the most outspoken public facing iranians weren't all wealthy as fuck monarchists playing activists #while sitting in beverly hills mansions contemplating their next nose jobs and doing absolutely nothing of use like wow you are so brave #it's the same energy as those rich cubans who moved to miami after castro took over #you can argue that the motive for the iranian regime's defiance of israel is not ultimately out of any desire to help palestinians #and frankly i would agree with you #but like in this specific instance i don't actually think their motive matters if it is materially helping palestinians #will it? that remains to be seen #and acknowledging that it could does not suddenly mean you support the regime all of you are so braindead i am tiiiiiired

[katapotato55]

objectifying is not simply designing a character to be sexy. There is very valid reasons for that to happen if the proper context defines it. Objectifying is what the fuck the undertale fandom did to sans way back when the fandom was far worse-

#I see you out there posting freaky sans smut art #Its weird and out of character. #why do you even like him anymore if he is so out of character now??? woulden't it make more sense liking sans for who he originally is? #yall just want to fuck the plastic skeletons they sell at spirit halloween. #If you want an example of the former done well see mettaton and how MTT is sexy but in a way that isn't objectifying and makes sense #No i have no idea what i am on about #nor do i expect people to give this post attention lol. #Undertale #sans undertale #mettaton #sans #ramblings #rant

[snekdood]

The worst thing is actually having the ability to see that people are more than what they show you online and then no one seeming to extend that same understanding or sympathy to me.

#its why i cant help but be like 'idc what happens to you' bc yall have stripped my humanity away anyways and analyze me in parts #and then not see me as a full fledged person with emotions and a life and ppl that care about me #why am i spending so much time trying to see the humanity in ppl online if theyre not gonna try for me. #ig yall dont visualize what its be like to say ur thoughts directly to someone irl. i kinda doubt youd be all 'go kill yourself' then #why should i try to see the humanness in you when you refuse to see it in me? #im more than someone to pick apart and judge and i do not deserve this shit at all. #im bad if i dont keep trying to do it but when yall laugh at me and strip me of my humanity apparently ur still entirely morally fine. #yall dont care what happens to me but i return that energy and suddenly im the worst person. make it make sense.

[spikeyjo]

Narc this and narc mom that. How about you pass the Narcan because my ass is getting the fentanyl ouchies

#like shut the fuck up already #I don’t have a personality disorder probably I mean idk it was mentioned bpd but like #bro tiktok is a scourge against mentally ill teenagers #stop diagnosing your mom and do your fucking homework #I saw a TikTok where all the comments were demonizing people with npd and it’s literally the meme #you’re mad at your dad not me #like I’m sure this time lumping an entire illness into one horrible bad category will work this time #bro the 20 year old abused traumatized mf with a personality disorder is not your fucking abusive mother #yall see the words npd and go ah yes I have a mother I am an expert in this #am I making sense here like #for the love of Christ just treat people normally no matter what disorder they may have #cause guess what my brother… that is a human person