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#don't mind me i pretty much never post on my own but shhhh
puzzling-angel · 2 years
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as a treat, have these little doodles from a drawpile i did with friends
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Tuff Mallow Update 4/18/24
Let's talk about all the things.
I've always been a "tell you like it is" person to a fault. I have never had a problem being direct, even if it has been awkward sometimes communicating.
So if I haven't had anything to say, you can be sure something serious is up.
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Most recently I moved. And it was necessary. I was in a previous living situation that made game dev nearly impossible. I'd kept trying though, even as the world was crashing around me, while trying to keep up a front that everything was good. My dev friends were like "JmB, things are not okay."
It was a hard pill to swallow. So I doubled my efforts, took on more work and finally moved and wow have things been moving fast since then!
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I went to GDC 2024!!
Having peace of mind in my own home was already awesome, but then the opportunity to go to GDC arose and I couldn't turn it down! I traveled to San Francisco and attended the week long event for people of the gaming industry, via a scholarship initiative by Black Voices in Gaming! I learned so much and made so many connections with talented phenomenal game industry professionals. But most importantly, I came to understand that this little Mallow has a place in the gaming industry. That the way I am is valid. That I don't need to be perfect, and that other game professionals want to see other creatives succeed and are also actively working towards that goal. It was inspiring and humbling and I never felt more a part of a community. It just reminds me to try harder to build up the creatives around me because if we all come up together, we come up strong!
Well Now We Are Back in Action!
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I am back home. Finally stabilizing a workable schedule. And finally able to finish the things I promised! I owe people content!
- The Closet Door main release
- Background art to clients
- Chibi art to a supporter
- Some art for upcoming jam releases (shhhh)
There's so much going on this month!
I want so desperately to promise that TCD will be out next month- I mean all I have to do is finish coding the game in!
But for now...
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I'm just taking it one step at a time.
You'll definitely know when I release this game (as well as announce the other projects I've been fortunate to be a part of, as well as the solo projects I've been working on behind the scenes. Because I am SO READY!!
As soon as I can officially make a beta version of The Closet Door (late April or Early May), things will move pretty fast! So at that time I hope you will still be with me on this journey, as it's been hell for us all getting here. I'll most likely announce it on all media channels.
Professionals Do... Their Best
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I'm thankful. Always thankful. I would never have made it this far without the kindness people have shown me.
I am not perfect.
Professionals are not perfect. And I refuse to attempt perfection anymore, as I've learned just how toxic that can be to anyone's physical and mental health.
Best believe at any point that I am striving to do the best I can. I will always give the best of what I've got to my work and to others if I can help in any way.
And I will continue to strive towards being genuine and expressing those beliefs in everything I do and make.
I probably won't post another very personal dev post like this again. But it needed to be said.
For those of you who don't know me, I'm AlwaysJmB.
And I am doing my best. 💗
Until next time~
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avungerthatgotaway · 3 years
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Baby it's the Sign of the Times
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Eyoo guyzz! This is a new oneshot, I hope you like this❄ I'm currently rewriting my Hawkeye fic, so I'm not gonna post that one for a little. This one is a bit longer than my previous ones.
I totally recommend you to listen to this song while reading, even if you're not a fan of Harry's. It will really help the mood.
I don't own anything, even tho I'd like to have a few... choice words with Russo brothers about endgame...👍🏼🤔
Warnings: none
Summary: events when Peggy dies, mainly before Steve goes to London, and you comfort him. (I know it's stupid summary, but I don't want to spoil it, sorry)
Genre: angst
I don't mention civil war at all. No other avengers are at Peggy's funeral. There are no romantical pairings, and Sharon is not mentioned cuz she doesn't fit in the storylineeee.
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She's gone.
In her sleep.
This words crushed Steve inside. He knew this was coming, but he'd never be ready for it, no matter what.
When he came from ice, he met her again. He knew they could never be together. No matter his actual age, Steve still had a full life in front of him. Unfortunately, same couldn't be told for Peggy.
Oh Peggy... She was always his ray of sunshine. Even through darkest of days. It is a cliché, but she was.
Was.
She is gone now.
Why did she have to go? Why didn't he get to spend a life with her? Steve's biggest wish was, and always will be, to spend a happy life with her. He didn't want any of this famous captain shit. He wanted a house in a village and 2 kids with Peggy. And a little dog. Or they'd be of service, and fight next to each other. Nevermind, Steve wanted a life with Peggy. For them to watch each other go grey. Maybe he could've been there for her as a husband now, through her sickness. Or maybe he'd be the one to go first. But still, that'd be a life...
One tear slipped down his rosy cheek, the other one following. Soon he had tearstains on his cheeks, but he didn't care. It was a silent cry. Those carry the most pain.
"Eyo, capsicle! You good there?" Tony snapped him outta his thoughts. Steve forgot the whole team was in the room. Fortunately, he was turned, so they were facing his back. He just couldn't talk to anyone right now.
"Yea yea, I'm good. I gotta go." he quickly got up and exited the room. He climbed up the stairs 2 more floors, but his toughts started haunting him again.
He's going on a plane tomorrow morning to say goodbye for the last time. Oh God, even thinking of a last time kills Steve inside. It's pretty late, but he didn't know what to do until morning. Sleeping wasn't an option, he knew that much. He gave in to overthinking again.
Of Peggy. Of her life. Of what could've happened if he didn't freeze...
"Just stop your crying, it's a sign of the times..."
"...welcome to the final show..."
"...I hope you're wearing your best clothes..."
Steve heard a silent piano in the background, and he heard an angelic voice. He still had tearstained cheeks, but he needed to hear what the voice had to say.
"...you can't bribe the door on your way to the sky..."
He was still clutching his cellphone in his hand, while following the voice. He came in front of Y/N's room. Y/N was a 16 year old avenger. She was very mature and wise for her age.
Her door was opened, and he just leaned against the doorframe, listening to her beautiful voice.
"...if we never learn, we been here before..."
"... why are we always stuck and running from the bullets..."
"...they told me that the end is near..."
Steve was crying a river at this point, and he didn't care. First shock was wearing out, and silent cries became little sobs. Yet, not loud enough for Y/N to hear.
"...just stop your crying, baby it'll be alright..."
"...we got to get away..."
She played final chords on piano, and then she turned around.
2nd person POV
You were singing "Sign of the times" and playing your piano. You loved this song. It was helping you relax, the melody was perfect. During the few last, silent piano chords, you tought you heard something. You softly finished and turned around. It was Steve.
But not the Steve you knew. This one had red puffy eyes, swollen from crying. He was sobbing quietly, trying to stop the sobs, but he couldn't.
You slowly came up to him, like to a wounded animal. He was just so hurt, you could see it in his eyes. You felt bad for him, but you wanted to know what happened. Who could hurt Stevie so badly.
"What happened, Big Guy?" you asked him. Steve just kept on sobbing even harder.
You moved him a little, so he was in your room, and you closed the door. You lead him to your bed, and sit on it, next to him. He was clutching his phone tightly in his hand, so you lifted his hand and gently tried to take it. He wouldn't let it go. You don't wanna pressure him, but whatever is on that phone is causing him this much distress.
"Stevie, cmon big babe" you cooed and rubbed the back of his hand with your thumbs. It may sound strange so someone, but Stevie really was like a big baby, so fluffy and vunerable inside.
He gave in and the phone just slipped from his hand in yours. You read the text and everyting was clear right away. You knew he went to visit Peggy in hospital, you didn't know she was this bad. I mean, Steve and you were close, but still that's too personal. You felt sooo sorry for him. He didn't deserve it. Not now. Not ever.
"Ohh, I'm so sorry Stevie..."
You immidiately hugged him close to you. He burried his head in your shoulder and neck, crying his eyes out, but at the same time trying not to cry. At least not to sob.
"Stevie, bear, it's okay to cry. Just let it all out."
That was all he needed. He started crying and sobbing uncontrollably, and your shirt was soaked in his tears. You didn't mind it tho, if it'll help him to feel better afterwards, he can cry as much as he needs.
After some time he lifted his head and looked into your eyes with his puffy baby blues.
"I'm sorry, Flower, I-I ju-ust can't believe s-s-she's go-one-e" he was still crying. You could see how much Peggy meant to him. You hugged him again, tugging at his hair softly to comfort him.
"Hey, hey no need to apologise Stevie. You cry yourself out, it'll help you. I'm here for you, Bear."
"T-tha-ank you. A-and and please... ca-can you-u not tell a-anyone about he-er ye-et..."
"Shhhh, Bear, I won't tell anyone about her. You wait until you're ready." you whispered.
You understood him. Not everyone in the team knew Peggy existed. And now telling them that she died, and what happened with them would be too much for Steve.
"T-thanks"
"Shhh, it's okay, it's okay." you whispered. You whispered to soothe him, you didn't know what to do when someone's loved one dies. But you wanted to be there for Steve so badly. Little did you know that what you did was just perfect for Steve.
-
Steve at first felt ashamed, because he cried in front of Y/N. But she talked just enough, whispering soothingly. He didn't have streinght to act like a big guy anymore. He craved comfort so badly, and he got it from Y/N. It felt nice.
-
Back to 2nd person POV
Something was bothering you. Steve didn't want anyone to know about Peggy's death which meant he was probably going to funeral alone. You didn't want that for him. At least he needed someone to be with afterwards. You knew Steve and how sensitive he was. You didn't want to think of things going through his head while he's alone after funeral. But if it was in London, as you tought it was, you had a plan.
"Stevie?" you said quietly playing with his hair a little.
"Mhm?" he asked, face still in your shoulder.
"When is Peggy's funeral? Is anyone going with you?" you asked. He lifted his head a little.
"T-tomorrow. L-london. And no. It's too much-h t-trouble for anyone. And I know it is Y/N, do-don't try to o--object" he smiled through his tears. You smiled back at him, your own eyes glistening with tears a little, but you didn't want him to notice.
He burried his head in your shoulder and neck again, like it was his safeplace, and he just cried. You couldn't imagine where those tears come from.
You softly stroked his short blonde locks, and started singing.
"Just stop your crying, it's the sign of the times...
...welcome to the final show
...I hope you're wearing your best clothes..."
Half into the song, you felt more weight on your shoulder. You looked down, and realised Steve fell asleep. You pressed one kiss to his temple, and moved him, so he was lying in your bed.
"Good night, Stevie Bear." you whispered.
-
When you exited your room quietly, you immediately called your best friend, Jon.
It was 2am, but you and Jon were just the best friends, you could call him whenever, and other way around.
Him and his family were going to London, and he invited you to go with them. You declined the offer, because you had to study so. so. much. But this was way more important.
"Heey, Jonny. Is that London offer still on?
Great. When are you going?
Ohhh, in 2 hours?
Yea, I'll be there. Thanks
And by the way, I'll have somewhere to go to tomorrow, around 4pm, I hope you guys don't mind.
Ohh cool. Thank you bruhhhh. Byee"
Great news. They still had a plain ticked to spare, and they'll pick you up soon.
You quickly packed your stuff, careful not to wake up Stevie. Poor baby. With everything he's been through, and now his Peggy dies...
You tell JARVIS to tell Tony you're in your friends house, and to wake up Steve 'round 6am. His flight was in 7. You knew this, and which Church it was in at what time because you did a little research. Aka, asked JARVIS for help. AI already heard everything, so it wasn't news.
You left the tower and went to meet up with Jon and his family.
-
Steve woke up by alarm ringing at 6am. He immediately realised he's not in his room. He was in Y/N's. And then he remembered how you comforted him. He was so thankful for you. Even though, you weren't here, and it was confusing. You probably went to sleep on the couch, or in some other room, and Steve felt bad about it. He quickly got ready, and tried to find you, so he could get you back to your bed. Fortunately JARVIS easened his search.
"Mr. Rogers, ms. L/N went on a trip with her friend a few hours ago."
"Oh. Thanks JARVIS." Steve said, and left the building. You didn't mention any trips, but then again, you two didn't talk anything except Peggy tonight.
-
(timeskip to Peggy's funeral, cuz no one wants to listen about the trip now)
-
3rd person POV
It's so devastating to attend a funeral on your own.
Even more so if it's a funeral of your lost loved one.
Maybe Steve should've brought someone with him. For comfort. At least to feel the familiar presence. He carried Peggy's coffin, and it was enough to make him feel empty and sad. It was nearing to the end of funeral, and Steve didn't want to be alone. He wanted comfort. Like when Y/N comforted him last night.
After the ceremony ended, he stayed behind a little. He craved someone's presence. Anyone familiar. And then he felt a smal hand on his shoulder. He turned around, and it was Y/N. At first, he tought he was hallucinating. But her petite hand on his shoulder felt so real. He felt so grateful for this small human being at the moment, he just wanted to thank God over and over for having her with him.
"Y/N, Flower, what are you doing here?" he asked, still in shock.
"Hey Bear. I figured out you could use some company after the funeral. But if you wanna be alone, I understand, I'll go."
"No no, I mean, if you can stay, it would mean a world to me. You really know me better than I know myself sometimes Y/N. Thank you so much, Flower." he said, and immediately came for a hug. You hugged back, of course.
"I'll stay for as long as you want, Bear. I'm here for you, as long as you want me to stay."
"I want you to stay forever kiddo" he mumbed in your hair.
"Forever it is."
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@afictionaladventure16 @rae-is-typing @elles-writing @avengersarchive @avengersuniverse
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lbat1901 · 4 years
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Rantception S1•E1 - princeofmints exposed | ft. TatSquirp
(I am about a month late on posting this here)
Welcome to the first episode of my brand new series titled Rantception where I talk about a topic or some unfortunate soul who became a total jerk as of recently. I am starting this series off by talking about the user by the name of princeofmints.
princeofmints is apart of the Eddsworld community and they are apart of the official EW Amino, Tumblr, and Instagram. Unfortunately princeofmints is in some hot water right now.
Oh and before I get to that, I just want to make this clear, the princeofmints that I am referring to isn't the one who made tomtord p*rn. This princeofmints is actually accused of tracing and being a total d*ck.
Also they got banned from Amino, but they are still going strong on both Tumblr and Instagram.
One more thing: don't harass them. Instead I want you to stop supporting them. Don't not praise them.
With that out the way, let's get into the news.
I unfortunately didn't know any of this drama that happened till seeing callout posts about it. But I used to like princeofmints's posts until what happened recently.
I decided to to take a look at their wall after seeing a few callout posts on them before they got taken down.
Annnnnd yeah.....they are such an arsehole. Just...just look at these screenshots....
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(the third one is my favorite in terms of arsehole energy that's being radiated from it)
I'll be honest with you, the third is the one that show the bitterness of princeofmints. Trying to guilt trip you. I'm sorry to say this, but it's not working. Nice try.
Now I'll handing the rest of this over to the one and only Squirp/TatSquirp who've agreed to be on the show and I certainly didn't kidnap them.
Squirp: ...Why am I here? Why am I tied u-
Lbat1901(me): Shhhh! Just give the audience your side on this
Squirp: Ok, fine...*clears throat*....so a week ago, I've made a callout post exposing princeofmints titled "Dethroning a Prince". It took me awhile to everything and not too soon after posting it on Animo, I've also posted it on Instagram.
Oh boy...it got taken down. No actually I got told by a model on Animo to take it down which I did while on Instagram it got flagged for harassment. I eventually reposted it.
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princeofmints (or what I like to call her, Prince) is a 15 year old artist who mostly draws Tom, Tord, and the ship TomTord. She was on the EW Amino since January 13th of this year before getting banned. S
Alright with that out of the way, I'll try to make this brief
She also has been known to cause quite the trouble.
I have been caught up to speed on what Prince has done even learning th as t she had actually scammed someone.
I believe that Lbat told you this already, but Prince's name was stolen by someone who has the same name, but let's dwell on this.
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Part 1 - Tracing:
Squirp: Ok so, a few days ago some of my friends and I looked at one of Prince's art and discovered that it was traced from an already existing drawing made by P-Nim. Of course Prince denied this and claimed that it was her own art.
Ok I'll make this clear, Prince didn't draw it for a DTIYS. If Prince didn't trace it then she shouldn't be claiming it as her own.
Also if you want to compare posts or have a look for yourself, you can't cause she deleted it. So much for being reasonable which goes into this next part....
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Part 2 - Blocking those who've cornered you for being unreasonable:
Squirp: Oh yes, just like TBATF, Prince also blocks people for calling her out. Unlike TBATF who only block people for giving them criticism and calling them out on their behavior, Prince blocks people for many reasons.
One of them being totally unreasonable. She blocked one of my friends who called her out for tracing. Prince even deleted several comments when trying to defend herself for being called out before deciding to hit the block button.
She even blocked me after I tried to call her out on her wall. I did PM her a few days later about and guess what her response was. The reason why she blocked me was because she didn't like me.
My god....that has to be most stupidest as all hell reason to block someone and folks, we're on the second part on this and things are already getting heated.
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Part 3 - Being a b*ch isn't all that cool:
Squirp: Hold on a minute, why is b*ch censored?
(Editor: that's because it's Lbat's show and I am meant to help with anything that Lbat puts out for everyone to see)
Squirp: Yeah, but why? Who cares anyway?
(Editor: well you're probably have a point, but it's my job. Now are you going to continue to argue or are you going to keep going with your side of the story?)
Squirp: I am...geez! I've never meant an editor that's who picky. This isn't YouTube with the whole COPPA thing you know.
Anyway..... pt 3....Prince has to be one of the biggest d*cks that I have ever talked to and- oh my god, why would you censor the word- forget it. Forget it...
Erm...yeah....she cursed at some many people that it's just mindboggling. She's not the most pleasant person to talk to on Amino or anywhere else.
Before you say that she probably has some mental health issues, don't even bother. Well I know she does has some issues, but it doesn't give her the excuse to not be a total d*ck. People who do have issues are at least well spoken and are respectful to others.
But Prince on the other hand, not a freaking single chance.
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Part 4 - Stop acting sad:
Squirp: You're probably thinking to yourself, "Wow, Prince is a jerk" and you'd be right. But to make matters worse, she likes to guilt trip people.
How? Well she tries to make you feel sorry for her by giving you a sad sad tale before deciding to cuss you out.
That's right, it's pretty low for her. I don't need to explain why this is bad just because it is. It's really scummy especially when she's in the wrong here. Next!
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Part 5 - Don't let Prince do commissions. EVER:
Oh yeah, she actually did this. I did found the person who got scammed and they are a person known as BadBoy.
You see BadBoy commissioned Prince to do a drawing for 92 coins. Unfortunately for BadBoy, Prince said that the price was actually lower than that. But it gets much much worse than that.
Prince got wicked with them and refused to give other pieces of art to BadBoy. Eventually BadBoy had enough and asked for a refund. That's when things started to escalate really fast.
Prince told BadBoy to piss off. After a long battle, Prince gave BadBoy 72 coins back when BadBoy asked for a full refund.
Squirp: I have been saving this part for last and it gave me a reason to make a callout on Prince in the first place. She literally scammed someone over 72 coins.
In summary, Prince just stole BadBoy's money and was a total d*ck towards them.
And that should do it for now, but I one final message to Prince. If you're reading this now while getting harassed for being callout for your crap: none of this, and I stress this a lot, none of this wouldn't have happened if you were to just act a tad bit kinder and a whole bit wiser.
Oh and maybe if you would've just listened. Also running away from your problems, lying, and pretending that they didn't happen makes you look like the bad guy here.
You know, I wouldn't mind you being on Animo at all if you just shallow your pride and try to do better by apologizing to everyone.
I didn't mean to make my callout post to hurt you in a way. In fact, I still believe that you can change. But atlas, your problems need to be addressed to make that happen.
All you need to do is try. That's it. That's all I ask for.
Lbat1901(me): *claps* Nicely done, Squirp. Nicely done.
Squirp: Thanks Lbat. It's been a pleasure being on here. Now can I go home now?
Lbat1901(me): Uhh.....*walks away from Squirp and walks out of the room before shutting the door*
Squirp: Lbat? Uh Lbat? Lbat? This isn't funny! Untie me! Hey cameraman, you're still here. Untie me, please
Camraman: *shrugs before shaking their head*
Squirp: What do you mean no? Ugh!
{screen cuts to Lbat sitting in a chair}
Lbat1901(me): Well that's the end of the first episode of Rantception. I want to thank TatSquirp for coming on and helping me out. Please check them out on the EW Amino and possibly their Instagram as well while you're at it.
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candymayvary · 6 years
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Hello! I want to get into writing for MCL, mainly one of the boys x reader or something, and I was just wondering if you could offer some advice ^^ I know you don't write them, but your fics kind of feel like that sometimes. How do you get comfortable writing Candy as an unnamed person, for people to put their own in? Thank you for your time!
Hey!
Huh, I guess you could see my fics as that, I suppose... I’d never really considered it. I will admit, I do end up reading chara x reader like ONCE a year, just to embarrass and indulge myself. I couldn’t write them the way they are to save my life, as I think I would just be too embarrassed, but I definitely have some mad respect for people who can.
Generally, I leave Candy unnamed because... either I don’t have an oc to ‘date’ the character, I don’t particularly like/care for the route (or feel largely indifferent towards it, have a preference for others), or it’s just. Stylistic choice, for what I’m writing. Especially if I’m trying for the tone of being regret, sadness, anger... instead of naming, I feel there’s some more impact when the target of the emotion is just reduced to a pronoun, no? That’s just me. Also, yeah, I guess it is also so people can just read it and imagine the scene with their own Candy? If people want stuff with my ocs, then I guess they can ask for it, or I’ll just post my own stuff whenever, y’know? I don’t mind either way. When I repost stuff on AO3, I end up rewriting some of it to HAVE Gigi/Harper/Medeia mentioned specifically.
As for getting comfortable? Hm, well, pretty much any and all Castiel x Candy I write is Gigi, my Candy. The scenarios are pretty much always going to be specific to them, unless there’s a weirdly specific prompt/request, and I can’t make it fit. Nathaniel x Candy is also kind of Gigi as well (because OT3 feels lol they’ll never leave) on some scale. I guess it’s because I’m using my own oc, and just taking out the name and reshuffling a few sentences, I’m able to do it? For the rest of the characters (Lysander, Kentin, Armin, Hyun, etc)... I don’t always have someone in mind, or I’m familiar enough with certain Candys on the internet, plus their LIs, that I’m able to just... replace names and pronouns. I just don’t tell people shhhh shhhhh it’s embarrassing. 
I hope that helps in some way? I’ve never really considered my stuff chara x reader so I’m just going to stare at my hands in wonder for a while lmfao 
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