#ds9 crack

[theredontbedragons]

Getting into DS9, and this is all I can see when Odo walks on screen. I can’t unsee it.

#same person #odo #sad dog #bucket man #star trek ds9 #deep space nine #ds9 #ds9 crack #star trek #shitpost #cupcake dog

[roguetelepaths]

This is more cracky than I like to get in my Dominion fic but I'm currently entertaining myself by thinking about a scenario in which a Vorta has to convince a Changeling to get into a very small jar in order to be delivered secretly to an infiltration site or something

It's like trying to coax a cat into a cat carrier except the cat is a god and you're trying so, so hard to be respectful

#I'm going to look at this tomorrow and be like Sparrow what the fuck were you thinking #vorta #ds9 crack

[novakspector]

Write a Star Trek: Deep Space Nine screenplay where Romulans try to steal Joseph Sisko's Creole gumbo recipe and Commander Ben Sisko has to stop them

FADE IN: EXT. DEEP SPACE NINE - SPACE

The exterior of Deep Space Nine, a space station in the Alpha Quadrant, is shown, hovering in the endless void of space.

INT. DEEP SPACE NINE - COMMAND CENTER

The command center is bustling with activity. Commander Ben Sisko is at the helm, overseeing the daily operations.

Suddenly, an alert sounds from the console in front of him.

COMPUTER (V.O.) Intruder alert!

Sisko looks up, surprised.

SISKO What's going on?

Suddenly, several Romulan warbirds decloak and surround the station.

SISKO Red alert! All hands to battle stations!

The crew rushes to their posts as Sisko takes control of the situation.

SISKO This is Commander Sisko. What do you want?

A Romulan voice replies over the comm.

ROMULAN (V.O.) We are here to retrieve something of great value to us.

SISKO What is it?

ROMULAN (V.O.) We want the recipe for Joseph Sisko's Creole gumbo.

Sisko is taken aback.

SISKO That's impossible. The recipe is a closely guarded family secret.

ROMULAN (V.O.) We will not take no for an answer. Comply or suffer the consequences.

Sisko is determined not to let the Romulans get their hands on the recipe.

SISKO Never. You'll have to get through me first.

The Romulans prepare to attack. Sisko orders his crew to prepare for battle.

SISKO Fire all weapons!

The Deep Space Nine crew fires at the Romulan ships, but the Romulans manage to dodge the attacks.

The Romulans launch a powerful energy beam at the station. Sisko orders the shields up, but the beam manages to penetrate them.

The Romulans board the station and begin searching for the recipe.

Sisko and his crew fight off the Romulans, but they are outnumbered.

Suddenly, a voice rings out.

JOSEPH (O.S.) Stop!

Joseph Sisko stands in the doorway, a stern look on his face.

JOSEPH This recipe is not for sale.

The Romulans hesitate for a moment before turning on Joseph.

Sisko and his crew rush to Joseph's aid, and a fierce battle ensues. The Romulans are finally defeated, and the recipe is safe. Sisko and Joseph look at each other with a knowing smile.

JOSEPH I guess I owe you one.

SISKO No, you don't. I'm just glad we were able to protect the family secret.

Joseph nods in agreement.

FADE OUT.

#ds9 crack #ai generated screenplays #it's at beta.openai.com #all of these are so good #hahaha

[vaguely-concerned]

emergency council in the one braincell queer group chat when you uncharacteristically fumble a bad bitch

#howling with laughter through this whole scene. julian's hand acting is cracking me up all on its own and then there's all the rest #star trek #star trek ds9 #ds9 #benjamin sisko #quark #jadzia dax #julian bashir #I cannot tell you how much julian jadzia brotp means to me. they were BORN to gossip bitchily like old men together

[funnywormz]

garak's glamorous spy/hacker lifestyle

#set in s7 when he's cracking the cardassian codes #elim garak #garak #julian bashir #<- he's there. #ds9 #star trek #my art #z art

[hadeantaiga]

Honestly Garak's lines when under distress are the fucking funniest.

Worf: "Are you trying to make me mad!?" Garak: "I'm trying, is it working!?"

Nog: "What is it?" Garak: "I'm not sure..." (Jem'hadar appear) "Now I'm sure."

(Jem'hadar teleport into Garak's shuttle) Garak: "Ah! Could you show us the way to the wormhole?"

#garak #he runs his mouth when he's nervous and it cracks me up #ds9

[funtasticfunman]

quark: for the last time, odo, it's not theft, it's the future. artificial intelligence, for the masses! totally unbiased because of its limiting factors; where older models take all the knowledge of their brilliant creators, my model takes knowledge a layman might use and predicts your needs.

odo: i see. and what need do the multiple fabrications of starfleet personnel in the nude fulfill?

quark: the simplest need in the world, odo, even you understand that.

odo: and your unauthorized and potentially libelous auto-generated materials are sourced purely from materials you own.

quark: sure, sure, materials i own, materials other ferengi own, materials i scraped from the datanet - that's ownership too! if no one claims it, that means it's free.

odo: i see. you do understand your generative text is limited purely to information on the datanet, yes?

quark: yes.

odo: and anyone, from the most brilliant scientific mind to the most drooling infidel capable of using a computer, can put whatever they want on the datanet, yes?

quark: yes, exactly! information sourced from the masses, not from some ivory tower federation scholars.

odo: yes, and that's all well and good. now, i've taken a printout i confiscated from some students at o'brien's academy. this is what your "artificial intelligence" produced when sisko's boy asked for a comprehensive history of interpsecies relationships throughout history.

quark: oh, so it IS being used for intellectual enrichment after all. NOT theft. let me see tha--oh. wh--is that...? i don't even know half of these words, odo...a-are these--?

odo: slurs, yes. mostly sourced from orion street gangs, but slurs nonetheless.

quark: that is a LOT of slurs...

#star trek #ds9 #star trek ds9 #deep space nine #st ds9 #star trek deep space nine #ai #artificial intelligence #quark #odo #crack

[apollyna]

Kira wit da cutout filters fo today + alt version and unedited

#apollyna draws #artists on tumblr #star trek #ds9 #kira nerys #sorry for ym cringe captions i cant help it #anyway uwu heehee heart eyes tee hee etc etc #thanks padda for suggesting her #i wanted to take another crack and i think the likeness is better too :thinking emoji: #i mean. IN WAYS

[lonelymoonrambles]

Lol I love star trek so much, sometimes the episodes are just so silly

I just watched an episode where the A plot was Quark telling a lie which causes him having to go to the klingon home world to show honour (but really to teach them excel and hook up with a klingon widow)

And the B plot was LITERALLY just Miles O'Brien trying to make his wife happy

#With a liiiiittle help from his boyfriend Julian #Star trek #ds9 #deep space nine #quark star trek #miles o'brien #keiko o'brien #I'm a Keiko stan #Like literally the whole episode was him trying to support her 🥺 #And he did all these romantic things but Julian was the one to crack the code of what she needed!!!? Lmaoooo #Julian x Miles x Keiko

[pygian-weapon]

My current analysis of deep space nine is that the six degrees of separation rule is applicable to everyone on the station, but instead of just knowing someone (which is easy when living in a space port with people going on and off) it is that that everyone has slept with someone who has slept with someone else etcetera, so all residents on the station are six one night stands (or less) away from each other.

#Rom and the Bajoran President? Rom has gotten some sweet and tender Oo-max from Leeta who has slept with Jadzia who has slept with Kira #who is having a thing with her ex-rebel leader and current planet representative #Keiko and Quark? Keiko is married to O'Brien who <what happens in the holosuits stays in the holosuits> with Julian #who had a never to repeat sex-pollened encounter with Kira who eventually might get with Odo (?) and he and Quark have obviously a thing #What that thing is I don't know it's incomprehensible to me and everyone else #Sisko is a tough nut to crack I'm sure there are a lot of people with a crush but he has high standards and Kassidy is away most of the time #So I'm not sure if she ever got down to have fun with anyone else. Maybe the captain with the see-through skull which unlocks Dax etc... #ds9

[youngpettyqueen]

fun little headcanon I have is that after like the second abduction Julian asked Kira to train him on how to fight

#star trek: ds9 #julian bashir #kira nerys #like im sure he has some combat training just by virtue of being Starfleet #but clearly. he needs something more #and I think he'd ask Kira because shes the fighter thats closest to his size #compared to say Worf #and he knows he'll learn more from her than he would one of the Starfleet security officers #Kira's been fighting since she was a child she'll show him how to throw someone twice his size over his shoulder #which she demonstrates by easily throwing him across the room #its great for both of them #its nice bonding time and also it lets them both let off some steam #but also sometimes its very funny #the first time they properly sparred Kira accidentally broke Julian's nose #and it was a complete accident she threw an elbow and he moved in a way she wasn't expecting and CRACK #Julian thought it was funny meanwhile she wanted to sink into the floor and never emerge #the first time Julian manages to flip Kira he's ECSTATIC #Kira proceeds to sweep his legs out from under him and goes 'thats a lesson in humility' while he's groaning in pain #theyre on my brain rn because I am writing them #I love them and their dynamic that exists in my head

[mylittleredgirl]

it’s probably incidental that “cardassian women dominate the sciences” later becomes canon, but that makes it extra good that gul ocett in “the chase” is a woman. even though she’s commanding a warship, it’s a scientific mission, and possibly her ship was specially equipped for it. i love any implication that the cardassian and romulan fleets are also subdivided into different specialties.

#tng #just thinking as i watch #ds9 obviously did the absolute most to showcase complexity in other cultures #and enterprise creating the xindi took a solid crack at that too #but i love the little snippets of it in next gen that kind of tease the future of treks to come #star trek thoughts

[cosmicvaca]

I’ve been slowly reading the ds9 relaunch novels lately and good god if you thought ezri and bashir in the show was bad, it’s (somehow) so much worse. Like the age gap is bad, yes; the constant comparison to jadzia is bad, yes. But I’ve never read any pairing with such little chemistry.

And it sucks even more because like she has chemistry with almost every other character who actually close to her age (which is quite a few actually) so it makes her and bashirs relationship feel  particularlly terrible.

They eventually break up, so at least I have that to looked forward too.

#it’s honestly contributed to my dislike for Julian #which sucks ass because I want to like him so bad!! #im also not a garashir girlie so I don’t even have that to look forward to #plus side is that I’ve found possibly the funniest rare pair through all of this #I’m looking through the cracks find any happiness #ezri dax #julian bashir #ds9 #adri blabs

[volixia669]

I love how DS9 fans are in agreement that while Take Me Out to the Holosuite was the episode that most definitely did not need Garak there, it was also the episode that most definitely did need Garak there.

#ds9 #deep space nine #elim garak #garak #take me out to the holosuite #we're all just like yeah no way this gay lizard would agree to join them #but also the hilarity of involving him in the episode #HAVE A SUBPLOT WHERE JAKE AND NOG HAVE TO EXPLAIN BASEBALL UNIFORMS TO HIM #AND THEN GARAK GETS IRRITATED SO SENDS THEM OFF TO GET SUPPLIES #they come back after finding super specific fabric and he has the uniforms complete #make take me out to the holosuite a two parter just for that #and then you have a really meaninful moment between garak and odo discussing how frivolous it all is before a big battle and yet #they really need frivolities to remember they are still people #which would then make garak and kira cracking up before storming the dominion even more poignant #...YES I AM SAYING WHAT A SHOW OLDER THAN ME SHOULD HAVE DONE SHUSH

[agardeninspace]

I like how the ds9 writers said hell yeah let’s give everybody homoerotic tension as a treat but like completely by accident

I didn’t get it when I was just starting the show but like wtf were miles and julian on while keiko was on bajor

and whatever tf he had with garak???

Are you kidding me!!??!!

#star trek #startrek #deep space nine #ds9 #are you kidding me #julian bashir #miles o'brien #elim garak #subtext #oh hey first post to crack 50 notes #50

[andybillups]

don’t talk to me or my son or my son’s son or my son’s son’s son or-

(my entire riker collection so far!)

10/21/22

#riker #my pictures #oh I have to nickname them all dont I . ok let’s go #felt riker #talking riker #ds9 riker #playmates riker #skull crack riker #tiny riker #star trek