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s1yeye · 9 months

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make intro post yes say hi talk about who i am what i do

my name kuru or siyeye, siyeye ainu to mean be sick or be ill, kuru is ainu, reconnecting with culture and language, please be nice do not mock names or language just because not white not friendly sound funny to you.

kuru part in system, other system not talk here, but kuru is inside of, complex did / polyfragmented many alters many parts. do not let other parts on this blog, only for kuru, may only say hi if is an emergency or big worry need to adress things because kuru me i cant do it.

kuru it/its pronouns. kuru an it, thing, being, nonhuman creature weirdo crazy. no she he they no no do not use any of that. just kuru, just it, just me. kuru body transfeminine, kuru body boygirl nonbinary lesbian, but kuru not girl or boy, kuru only kuru siyeye it me thing being.

kuru have many disorders, many disabilities, kuru level 2 autistic medium support needs (mild ID), kuru have POTS and asthma and TBI and other body ailments that make life work hard not good hard to make a living hard to do things for good livings. kuru will talk about it, affect life happen very much. kuru also, more important, schizoaffective disorder symptom holder hold symptom for alters other parts not feel as bad as kuru do. kuru have schizoaffective since young age, 13 or 14, early onset, cause many many problems in life hard to deal with many many many harsh hard wow so many suffer medicate suffer evil. this will be main many post include symptoms vents rambles talk about life experiences medicate psychatric ward and others and others that happen because of this. kuru talk funny because of schizoaffective disorder. kuru talk and write weird due to positive negative symptoms mixing mixing cause words jumble mix up hard to speak thoughts racing by fleeting away from me. all words come out all at once becoming mixing jumbled and hard to understand word write or speak. kuru can not help this or fix this. other alter sometimes can write better, can help kuru siyeye do this, but abilities go downhill, catatonia apraxia alogia flat effect etc etc make worse and worse spiral go downhill eventually all gone some day maybe fear. kuru also speak weird part of trauma CPTSD DID abuse severe severe severe many happen occurence all at once. ruin kuru life, make extra extra difficult.

i kuru is an also poc indigenous east asian mixed many races mixed. if could not tell from name. do not want white people telling what to do on race related issues. has seen this happen, feel it felt it before. go away shut up.

kuru me i also a minor, bodily 16. if uncomfortable talking to speak to minors, let kuru know and will not follow.

kuru dni include endogenic (support ok, no syscourse on blog), transabled / transrace / etc (only transgender, transsexual, transspeices good), proship / comship, intersexists and transmisogynists. kuru block liberally, will use many block button, do not throw cry hissy fit if find out blocked by siyeye.

kuru may talk about triggering, bad bad hurt harmful things. can trigger tag if something heavy or obvious bad, but otherwise will not know to do unless you tell me to. if one of kuru follower, ok to ask to trigger warn tag things if they are being triggering to you. kuru ask that mutuals trigger tag heavy religion, around kuru, ESPECIALLY satanism / christianity, can triggering bad scary hurt kuru siyeye make bad visions remember horrible scary thing. thank you for if you are doing this.

edit : panphobes, acearo exclusionists, transmeds, do not follow like reblog interact!!!!! kuru is collective body mogai many genders and arospec, some parts acespec pan or others, support all harmless queer identity!!!!! go away if exclusionist bad bad person rude harmful mean leave

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sirotras · 2 years

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since its been about a week, ill go ahead and put my thoughts on legacy of the sith below, i think ive caught most of the spoiler tags, but if ive missed any please let me know!

starting with the story, i dont want to harp too much on the length, but it was... really very short huh. about the length of return to iokath or ossus, which is weird bc those were both between expac patches.

the two parts of the story really dont fit together, considering the relatively short amount of content, i think it would have been better to focus on either the war in regards to manaan, or on the malgus storyline. trying to do both left each part feeling underdeveloped and incomplete.

and considering the marketing content and the literal title of the expac, id have voted for dealing with malgus. (also elom is so pretty id die to be able to actually spend more time exploring there)

as for what actually happened in the story... not much did. it really felt more like filler. no narrative progression seemed to happen at all, we’re back where we were post onslaught more or less. yeah, we caught malgus, but we didnt learn anything abt his plans. or darth nul. or that twi’lek padawaan.

all that makes it feel like we’re just going in circles.

my sister mentioned the flashpoint felt like where the expac should have started, and i have to agree.

caveat that i have only played the imperial storyline so far, perhaps some of these thoughts will change once i run pubside, and if they do ill be sure to come back and edit them

now about mechanics/ gameplay changes of course i love the idea of the combat styles, however the class changes leave... a lot to be desired. besides the fact that none of the classes seem to be affected to the same degree as each other, most of the changes seem to be made with the intent of balancing pvp, which, for a more or less strictly pve player, SUCKS.

i lucked out being an assassin main where most of the changes are just annoying rather than completely gutting, but knowing other classes got much worse isnt great.

the ui is... it looks weird, considering only some of the elements are changed. and its a bit on the eye straining side. also the character screen is too big!! its just too big. and you cant even do anything to change that.

not to mention the changes to the outfit designer just make it clunkier. i cant preview and outfit without applying it, and also somethings refuse to be un- color matched. which. is certainly frustrating and i find it hard to believe thats intended.

overall... not too positive. which sucks. :/ hopefully things improve as they receive player feedback and fix bugs.

#lots spoilers #legacy of the sith spoilers #swtor spoilers #swtor legacy of the sith spoilers #swtor 7.0 spoilers #swtor lots spoilers #7.0 spoilers #meredith plays swtor #kept this to thoughts strictly abt the expac #my gripes with the saboteur storyline still stand but those are for another post #also didnt go into detail abt the actual events of the story #didnt feel like they were too necessary #am currently trying to get a character besides my pub main to this point in the story #which will take longer than i thought since now all the enemies for onlaught are. for some reason. 75.#which is funny. bc onlaught is supposed to start at lvl 70. :))))

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woogyu · 3 years

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Funny Drabble Game

Drabble Prompts; fluff | angst | funny (when requesting PLEASE add which prompt list it is from)

Can have up to 3 prompts per request + can send multiple requests.

They will all be written for fem reader. I’m very sorry about this, it is just because of what I know/have experience in writing.

Please format requests as follows; funny member prompt # or #s.

ex. funny member #12 + #15

ex. funny florist!member x student!reader #14

Send your requests/asks: here

~ prompts under the cut ~

crossed out = don’t request, usually for when I’ve gotten tired of a specific prompt coming up too often or I don’t like it

Drabble Prompts [credit; https://justforshitsandcackles.tumblr.com ]

“You’re such a fun drunk.”

“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”

“Could you not suck for five minutes?”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Well thats tragic.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You are actually insane!”

“I think you’re actually satan.”

“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”

“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”

“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”

“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“I just cleaned that!”

“Don’t get sassy with me!”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Bite me.” “If you insist.”

“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“Define normal.”

“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“And you wonder why you’re single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”

“Somebodys cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”

��You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?” “Because we’re attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”

“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. give me a drink.”

“Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but…no.”

“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“For the love of fuck.” “Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”

“Are you ready to go?” “Yeah. let me grab my machete.” “We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”

Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”

“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”

“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”

“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”

“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”

“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”

“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”

“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”

“You’re blocking the view.” “I am the view.”

“Why are you on the floor?” “Tying my shoe.” “You’re wearing rain-boots.”

“Cant stop me from slaying!”

“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”

“Why are you holding your boobs?”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”

“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”

“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”

“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I need a date to my relatives wedding, and i’ve already asked literally everyone else i know, so i know you probably hate me, but please say yes. Otherwise they’ll try to set me up with someone, and they have awful taste.”

“One more sound and i swear to-”

“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”

“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”

“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”

“Please, never have children.”

“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”

“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.

“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”

“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”

“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”

“What is this shit…i’m just trying to graduate.”

“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”

“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“

“I’m gonna strangle you.” “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”

“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”

“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.” “well i mean-” “whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen drabbles #seventeen drabble game #seventeen funny #seventeen fanfic #seventeen #svt #seventeen requests

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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years

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witch wolf? (1/5) chris motionless x werewolf!reader

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part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

its about as graphic as you would assume a story about a werewolf would be ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

again i tried to edit but if i missed anything sorry, ill probably catch it later, smack myself in the forehead, and then fix it lol

If anyone else wants to be added to the tag list of this four part series just let me know

Song: pet sematary by the Ramones covered by the haxans

tag list: @thisplace-ishaunted @ryansitkowskiswifey @alilpunkrock @theoneandonlykymberlee @svintsandghosts @cynic-spirit @buryallyourbones @chriscrosscerulli

+++++++++

I looked down and kept checking my lunar calendar over and over again. I hadn't really thought about what I would do on a full moon when I took this job. Now I had to deal with that decision. And of course I couldn't just not get on the bus after a show and then show up in the next town with no explanation. That would be ridiculous, even if I could run that fast. But now I was scared, there was nowhere on this bus id be able to change and have enough space. I frowned at the thought.

"You okay?"

Chris asked as he came onto the bus, looking down at me and my concerned expression. He laughed a little.

"Why are you looking at the moon cycle?"

I let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of my neck, cringing when I scratched too hard.

"Ow."

I said, pulling my hand away and looking down at my nails. It was starting already, they were sharper and longer than they were this morning. Pretty soon my teeth would follow and by the time the sun went down I'd be a fully changed werewolf. Chris looked a little skeptical.

"You good?"

I frowned, putting my hand to where I had scratched, bringing it back in front of my face and sighing at the little bit of blood.

"Guess not."

I stood up and walked to the bathroom.

"Holy shit y/n, that's some serious damage you did there."

He said, following me. When I was in the bathroom I grabbed a paper towel, wet it, wrung it out, and put it on my neck.

"It'll be fine. It's not the first time."

He looked at me like I was crazy. I turned around and faced him, leaning against the counter.

"What are you talking about? That looks pretty bad to me."

I shrugged, pulling the paper towel away and looking at it. Then I put my hand back up to my neck and the traces were gone. I always heel faster on transition nights which was kinda nice. I always saved doing dumb shit for those days just in case.

"Look, it's fine, nothing I can't handle."

I said turning to walk out of the bathroom and tossing the towel out. He followed me, moving my hair out of the way and making me pause in my tracks.

"But? But it's gone? You were bleeding a second ago, stuff like that doesn't just disappear."

I looked at him and shrugged.

"Guess your eyes were playing tricks on you."

He shook his head.

"No, that can't be it."

He inspected it, running his hand over where they were.

"They were just there."

He said a little defeated.

"You aren't like a vampire or anything are you?"

He joked and I sent him a look.

"That's ridiculous Chris, vampires don't live anywhere near here."

His face dropped as he followed me back outside into the cold.

"Wait, what?"

I watched him shiver a bit as he followed me towards the venue.

"Vampires aren't native to this part of the country silly."

He nodded.

"Right, Given that they arent made up."

He said matter of factly and I stopped, giving him a look.

"Why would they be made up?"

He laughed before shivering again. How many times did I have to tell him to dress for the weather?

"Come on, you can't be serious."

I raised a brow.

"Oh but I am, and would you please put a coat on?"

I opened the door for him and he walked in, letting out a long sigh of warmth.

"Why? You don't wear one?"

We walked down the hall towards the dressing rooms.

"I told you I don't get cold."

"Right, cause you're built like a dog. Or something."

Then I remembered.

"Oh, speaking of which, I'm not gonna be in the booth tonight."

He frowned at me.

"Leaving Logan all by himself?"

I shrugged.

"We ran the show already, he knows what to do. But I've gotta do something."

He nodded.

"And what could you possibly be doing other than your job?"

He half joked as we walked into the one dressing room. The rest of the crew was doing sound check on the instruments.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

He sent me a look.

"Try me."

I raised an unimpressed brow.

"Okay. It's a full moon and I don't want to hurt anybody."

He laughed.

"What? That makes you sound like some deranged witch that murders during the full moon."

He said, wiggling his fingers towards me in a 'spooky' matter. I sent him an annoyed look.

"No Chris, just a werewolf."

I said completely Serious and he slowly stopped laughing. Then his face fell.

"You are not."

I rolled my eyes.

"I told you you wouldn't believe me."

I shook my head and looked down at my watch. It was almost sun down and I could feel my teeth poking into my bottom lip.

"Look, I gotta go, I'll talk to you in the morning."

I went to walk away and he caught my arm.

"You'll see me in the morning?"

He said concerned. I looked at our connected hands before looking up at him.

"Yeah. If anyone asks just tell them I'll be at the venue tomorrow in time for call."

He sent me a weird look.

"And if you aren't on the bus tonight?"

I sent him a half smile.

"Don't worry about it."

He let me go and I walked back down the hallway quickly, going outside by myself. I could feel it coming on and needed to change out of my clothes quickly, I'd ruined too many outfits already. I practically ran into the bus to get my small backpack with an outfit for tomorrow, leaving just as quickly as I'd came in. When I was back outside I hid deep in the woods behind the venue, brushing past snow covered branches as I moved deeper and deeper. When I was far enough away I stripped completely, letting my hair fall out of its bun and shoving all my clothes in my bag. Now I just had to wait, and hope no one came out here.

The first thing I felt was my eyes change, everything got clearer as I peered out into the ascending darkness. Then my teeth started shifting, me no longer being able to keep my mouth closed and straining my jaw. I looked down at my hands, watching as my nails grew sharper and thinner. I stood tall before feeling the bones in my legs crack, making me drop to my knees in pain. I gritted my teeth harshly, making my lip bleed as my bones grew and moved into their new places. By the time I was done changing I was a full werewolf, large and dark. I shook first, like any dog would, to get any remaining skin out of my fur. Then instinct came in, the strong need to hunt. It was the curse of a monster to crave the taste of blood. Luckily I'd been doing this a good portion of my life and knew now how to hunt animals instead of people. That sure was an awkward family Christmas party on my first full moon...

#wattpad #x reader #chris motionles #x werewolf!reader #werewolf #imagines #one shots #chris cerulli #miw #193

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justforshitsandcackles · 6 years

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funny prompts

“You’re such a fun drunk.”

“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”

“Could you not suck for five minutes?”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Well thats tragic.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You are actually insane!”

“I think you’re actually satan.”

“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”

“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”

“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”

“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“I just cleaned that!”

“Don’t get sassy with me!”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Bite me.”

“If you insist.”

“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“Define normal.”

“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“And you wonder why you’re single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”

“Somebodys cranky.”

“Somebody needs to shut up.”

“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?”

“That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!”

“You were supposed to!”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”

“You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?”

“Because we’re attracted to each other.”

“I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.”

“It saves time.”

“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”

“I didn’t do it!”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“I’m so glad you could come.”

“Cut the crap. give me a drink.”

“Where have you been all my life?”

“Hiding from you.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but...no.”

“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“For the love of fuck.”

“Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah. let me grab my machete.”

“We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”

Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”

“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”

“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”

“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”

“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”

“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”

“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”

“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”

“You’re blocking the view.”

“I am the view.”

“Why are you on the floor?”

“Tying my shoe.”

“You’re wearing rain-boots.”

“Cant stop me from slaying!”

“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”

“Why are you holding your boobs?”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”

“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”

“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”

“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“One more sound and i swear to-”

“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”

“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”

“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”

“Please, never have children.”

“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”

“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.

“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”

“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”

“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”

“What is this shit...i’m just trying to graduate.”

“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”

“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“

“I’m gonna strangle you.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”

“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”

“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.”

“well i mean-”

“whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

Once again, these are loosely categorized as funny.

admin Charlie💕

#funny #funny prompts #writing prompt #dialogue prompt

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