#either that or im depressed.

[petitkante]

.

#im legit so so so so tired. #i wake up. start working. take a nap after work. study/eat/watch tv. go to sleep again #i feel so bad bc i know i should exercise and shit #but i dont have the strenght. #i had to deal w burnout less than a year ago and i still havent recovered ig??? #either that or im depressed. #idk man. i just feel like shit. wish i could at least work out a bit but i cba. too tired #anyway. just felt like putting this out here #i know i have to talk about this with my therapist. :) fucking hell #like i physically cannot function without a nap and this makes me absolutely miserable #just wanted a break u know #the vibes arent vibing lol.

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[5hrignold]

homestars handwriting 2000 / 2005

#obviously this was them either not remembering how he wrote in the past or just not caring to commit to it #im sure there are other inconsistencies with the other characters’ handwriting and drawing #BUT i love to see this as him becoming more laid back and less feeling like he has to appear 100% cool and flawless #but also becoming more generally depressed along with that. like just not being sure what he’s supposed to do with his life #u feel me. that being reflected through his handwriting degrading in care and quality #ofc there’s no objectively correct way to write but u get what i mean the 2000 handwriting is WAY more fancy looking #i was gonna say it also could just be that it’s a high school yearbook signing but like… idk if he’d care enough #to make his writing all pretty and sofisticated just for that #homestar runner

[musashi]

Hi Tumblr I need to win an argument

EDIT: stop oversharing about your mental illness on my silly lighthearted poll i made to dunk on my girlfriend. you are not cute or charming and you make people uncomfortable. therapy

#wordy wendy #EDIT: you people are freaks #EDIT EDIT: nvm thank fuck #reblogs off because people are being so fucking weird pathologizing #i hate this shit #you are addicted to your identity as a person w depression #you will never ever get better until you learn #to stop identifying with the part of you that is sick and hurting #i did not make this poll about depression or poverty #i am a depressed person living in poverty and this post is not about that #and even if it was #neither of those things are normal #so if your argument is ''im depressed and poor!'' #either dont vote. or vote what the fuck.

[madame-mongoose]

i really dont post much on here anymore, have some monnley

#im just not vibing with tumblr lately #theres not a lot keeping me here #most of my tumblr friends i either dont talk to anymore or have stopped posting here too #honestly my depression has gotten worse but it's whatever #im still drawing at least so thats something #monnley #self ship #my art

[a-dragons-journal]

Forgive me for showing my fangs a little here instead of being as delicate in phrasing as I usually am, but. Periodic reminder:

sweeping "humans suck, humans are evil, the world would be better off if humans disappeared/had never evolved" statements may be cathartic but they're thoroughly inaccurate (ie, the vast majority of uniquely bad effects of humans on the planet are a) extremely recent, like within the last couple centuries, b) the fault of an extremely small minority not the entire fucking species, and c) fixable)

hating being human isn't the same as hating humans. I get species dysphoria is a thing. I get that it's often hard to fit in as a nonhuman in human social groups and that can make it easy to slip into hating everyone around you. Please fight that instinct

villainizing people for traits they didn't choose, such as the species they were born into, is neither cute nor fair. No species is inherently good or bad

misanthropy is cathartic in short term vents or whatever but genuinely embracing it wholesale as a philosophy is liable to lead to you hating humans, human society, and being in a human body more and more over time and thus make your life worse by constantly reinforcing a thought pattern that makes you angry and upset

you are not immune to being part of human society (translation: just because you're nonhuman doesn't mean you're not included in statements about the effects of the human population on the world, ie "humans are killing the planet")

related, you are not better than humans for being nonhuman. looking at my fellow dragons in particular on this one. I get it, draconic pride is a thing, dragon brain probably says you're the supreme being and all else is beneath you especially anyone who annoys you. Mine does too. Please recognize that is an instinct you are supposed to FIGHT, not something that's TRUE AND THAT YOU SHOULD EMBRACE. Good fucking gods.

some nonhumans are also human (it's me, I'm some nonhumans) and you are making sweeping "humans suck, why would I ever want to be human, all humans do is kill the planet" statements in the presence of people included in those statements, which is insanely rude (and no, you don't get to "but you're different because you're nonhuman" me! you do not get to decide to ignore half of who I am because you don't like it, you do not get to decide I'm not "really" human, and also see the previous bullet point). this goes doubly if you're in a space like a DIscord server where people have expressly stated they're not comfortable being tacitly included in statements like that

saying "but I don't REALLY mean all humans, I just mean the specific ones at fault!" after the fact does not actually change anything if every other thing you say is constantly "humans humans humans" and not the group you're actually referring to, or at the very least doesn't change how it reads to everyone around you

#otherkin #misanthropy #rani talks #rani is biting today sorry #if you want me to dial it back and explain any of this in a calmer tone please ask i will be happy to do so #i'm just. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #sick and fucking tired of seeing 'humans bad' in the otherkin community on a regular basis. ITS ME. IM HUMANS. STOP IT #it's not a constructive mindset!! it's not!! there's no constructive conclusion that can come out of misanthropy as a core philosophy! #all it can lead to is either 'nothing is fixable' which is a recipe for depression #or 'humans should be exterminated' which is GENOCIDAL #and it's fucking ALWAYS accompanied by 'but i'm better because i'm [x] instead har har har' No The Fuck You Are Not #you participate in society exactly the same way a human would #you are exactly as responsible for the effects of humanity on the world as anyone else around you #which is to say not very fucking much! #anyway /tag rant i'm hitting post before i think better of this one

[riverrunscold]

Since we're sharing youtube comments, I wanted to share this underrated one

#watcher #watcher entertainment #disappointed but not completely surprised #i haven't watched them in a hot minute and i think this situation made me realize why #all the content is too perfect now. maybe even slightly too long. i say this as someone who loves long videos #i watch retrospectives on shows ive never seen or actively dislike and love every moment of it #but sitting with the silenced of ghost files is just boring now. which i hate to say but it is #there hasn't been any really funny bits in a while either. and the jokes that they do on the set feel not super authentic #that's just me though #im worried they made a bad business decision and it's gonna hurt them. and the situation isn't super serious so i enjoy laughing about it #i really think i was into watcher for a hot minute but sometimes it feels like im slogging through a video just to get a glimmer of #what i used to love #which is super depressing xD

[yorkshirekiwi]

I'm genuinely concerned about what's going to happen to my psyche when everyone moves on from Master of the Air and the fics stop rolling in.

#im either going to become certifiable or fall into a pit of depression #these fics are actually getting me through my days right now #god bless fic writers you are saving lives #masters of the air #mota #mota fanfic #masters of the air fanfiction #Masters of the air fic

[fairiencarnate]

Why did no one tell me that the "chemical imbalance" theory has largely been disproven, that serotonin and dopamine can't cause mental illness on their own? Why have all mental health professionals been pushing this idea as fact? I've always thought the whole BPD diagnosis was bogus, just modern day hysteria slapped onto (mostly) women with complex-PTSD. Almost an official gaslight, like "your trauma wasn't traumatic enough to warrant the PTSD label so we're going to act like your brain is malfunctioning". So I'm not surprised to find all this out.

Can we finally begin a trauma-informed approach toward mainstream mental health shit? Especially mood disorders? Let's not rule chemicals and hormones out entirely, but let's acknowledge that trauma and genes have far stronger ties to mental health.

#obviously genetics are a huge factor too #and socioeconomic status altho i would also consider that under the trauma umbrella?? #im starting to wonder whether my meds were really helping me chemically #or if they were giving a placebo affect bc they affected me physically so much at first #like “this feels intense so they must be legit” #and then the belief carried me through being open to therapy and healing etc #definitely pulled me from the edge of suicide #either way they helped me #i wonder if I'd be ok off them now that its been like 6+ years #NONE OF THIS IS ADVICE BTW #personal #tw medical #chronic depression #chronic anxiety #borderline personality disorder #actually borderline #cptsd

[mishapen-dear]

where did your colour go?

#qsmp #qsmp fanart #mishapen draws #mishapen sketches #badboyhalo #bbh is so SAD #cant wait for his depression #god i love colours #every time im like 'yeah no ill definitely work on my lineart next' #'yeah i need to get a handle on values' #and then i go do more colour bullshit #and im living my best life tbh #not much to say about this one either except for Ow @ every stream he's done lately gucking. ow. #im having SO much fun #scheduled post #<- lets see what horrors are waiting for me by the time this posts lmao

[simmyfrobby]

am I sad about duhaime or am I sad about simmyfrobby being sad

— Oxygen, by Mary Oliver

img.

#or are you sad because you know im about to be SO depressing about this #for like. a while. #either way: sad is happy for deep people or whatever #brandon duhaime #connor dewar #minnesota wild #hockey poems

[milkbreadtoast]

🫡 (wasnt sure abt some of these but. others im v sure abt dmcbdmdj)

#cookie run kingdom #crk #dark choco cookie #pure vanilla cookie #clotted cream cookie #dark cacao cookie #milk cookie #im not tagging everyone forget it #meme #shitpost #i actually originally was just gonna do this w milk choco + yam bc they fit so perfectly into the 3 categories but decided to go further #it was actually rly hard to fill in the first category kdjfn like i put the obvious emo ones then i was like. damn who else #i had filled up the other 2 categories (last one was the easiest lmao) so the top one looked empty so i had to think abt it #i actually think financier is p stable but i put her into the first category after thinking abt it bc i feel like shes the type #to be hard on herself... shes def v strict in mindset #raspberry too i feel is strict w herself (but it was still a stretch mdfn) #and tea knight uhhh he prob had survivor's guilt so #wildberry is the least mentally ill of the odyssey quartet KDJDK its bc hollyberry raised him <3 #bro is like dark choco w/o the depression <3 #also madeleine is silly but i feel like hes not super mentally ill either but #its funny putting him next to espresso jdjfd at least his attitude fits the last category #O ALSO i rly wasnt sure abt sea fairy lmao #but i wanted to put all 3 crk legendaries so i just... put her somewhere... #i think 2nd category for her tbh

[lunar-wandering]

I genuinely think so many people have forgotten the fact of "there are no toxic fandoms, only toxic people".

When fandoms get big, of course the amount of people u want nothing to do with is also gonna get bigger.

Youre not meant to combat them. Youre not meant to talk about them and expose others to them.

Youre meant to block them at the first signs and continue to enjoy your experience interacting with other people.

Kill the weeds, don't let the seeds spread, reap your wheat and enjoy your bread.

#this post brought to you by #me yet again seeing a 'x fandom is awful and toxic' #whilst ive experienced nothing but joy + made most of my current friends through said fandom #im part of that fandom. youre part of that fandom. that fandom brought us together. #you would insult something that created something so beautiful? #just because theres some assholes ALSO in it??? #i just. i cant STAND it #its such a fucking generalization #im so fucking tired of 'fandoms are bad' mentalities #yes theres some assholes. most of us dont want them here either #yes theres people being 'cringey'. leave them alone theyre just having fub #fun #fandoms are a COMMUNITY #of people brought together via a common love of one thing #we praise fanfic and fanart for being so creative #but those only truly exist because fandom does #u cant love one and then blatantly insult the other #jeez #im just. i get so depressed when i see those takes #its like. sometimes some of these takes really just give 'people cant have fun anymore' #and other times i see a 'fandom bad!!' take and im just like #u do understand fandom is a community that YOU are meant to build right? #its like how people tell people to curate their dashboard. fandom is the same #block the people u dont like. dont engage with drama. dont make callout posts. #(if u must u can PRIVATELY inform your mutuals if theres some asshole in the community) #fandom is meant to be FUN. A discussion of what people love and an exchange of arts #not continuous arguing over what hcs are correct and stuff #just. god. fandoms arent awful. thats like saying all humans are bad. #just block the assholes. let people have fun. and enjoy yourself. #those are the three rules of fandom.

[br1ghtestlight]

how long do u have to be depressed for before your doctor will up your medication dosage 🤔🤔⁉️

#its like....... i dont even know why im feeling so bad lately or whats causing it #mental health disorders make it very very difficult to knwo whats Wrong with me #is it just a depressive episode. Bcuz i dont vibe with that either!!!!!! #i dont even know what caused it or what could possibly make it better. its just gonna be Like This for a while i guess? #sorry if you were expecting me to like. do things #txt

[viktormaru]

im tired of feeding myself i dont want to do this anymore society is forcing me to cook

#for real though cooking is so hard #specially when ur freezer is tiny and ur pots arent that big #`meal prep for the week` theres literally no space for that #`freeze it` theres no space for that either #the solution has been depression egg sandwiches but even then........ im so lazy you guys this is miserable #its just during the monthly depressive episode that it gets this hard to feed myself but it lasts like over a week #im too thin!!!!!!!!!!!! not good!!!!!!!!!!

[tangledinink]

god once im unemployed its so over for you bitches

#im gonna make so much shit #either that or ill fall into a deep depression and make so little #but we're gonna #im gonna #we're gonna try to #we're anchoring ourselves to the Make #and this will keep us afloat #its fine we're fine #i tried to file for unemployment online today and it went poorly :/// #txt posts #personal