#especially romancing him with a republic character??

[katethegreyjedi]

oh I love playing forged alliances and romancing theron again

#swtor #my swtor #kate talks #oc: feeranula laxana #😌😌 i am very content #especially romancing him with a republic character?? #so amazing #and shes a jedi #i love theron with a jedi #anyway dont mind me #just falling in love with him again

[brother-emperors]

What do you mean when you say that Pompey is a lover in a story of inescapable violence? I am extremely intrigued

the Late Republic is a stage of violence intent on gorging itself on this violence, the structure of the system leaves no other outcome.

Pompey is both someone born into this cycle and someone who is an acting hand of violence. He fashions himself after a military ideal, Alexander the Great, he positions himself as Sulla’s successor in the arena of political spectacle (rising/setting sun), he is Rome’s conquering hand.

He’s also, in Plutarch’s biography, intensely aware of matters of love and romance and does not treat them as an idle and casual affair. It is, in some way, an inherent part of his character. He is the ideal of a husband, even if it conflicts with whatever other ideals he’s supposed to embody, and apparently trades in his role as a general to remain in Rome with his wife.

We are told that Flora the courtesan, when she was now quite old, always took delight in telling about her former intimacy with Pompey, saying that she never left his embraces without bearing the marks of his teeth. Furthermore, Flora would tell how Geminius, one of Pompey's companions, fell in love with her and annoyed her greatly by his attentions; and when she declared that she could not consent to his wishes because of Pompey, Geminius laid the matter before Pompey. Pompey, accordingly, turned her over to Geminius, but never afterwards had any thing at all to do with her himself, although he was thought to be enamoured of her; and she herself did not take this treatment as a mere courtesan would, but was sick for a long time with grief and longing. (…) Moreover, Pompey also treated the wife of Demetrius his freedman (who had the greatest influence with him and left an estate of four thousand talents) with a lack of courtesy and generosity unusual in him, fearing lest men should think him conquered by her beauty, which was irresistible and far-famed. But though he was so extremely cautious in such matters and on his guard, still he could not escape the censures of his enemies on this head, but was accused of illicit relations with married women, to gratify whom, it was said, he neglected and betrayed many public interests.

Plut. Pomp. 2

All this won him admiration and affection; but on the other hand he incurred a corresponding displeasure, because he handed over his provinces and his armies to legates who were his friends, while he himself spent his time with his wife among the pleasure-places of Italy, going from one to another, either because he loved her, or because she loved him so that he could not bear to leave her; for this reason too is given. Indeed, the fondness of the young woman for her husband was notorious, although the mature age of Pompey did not invite such devotion. The reason for it, however, seems to have lain in the chaste restraint of her husband, who knew only his wedded wife, and in the dignity of his manners, which were not severe, but full of grace, and especially attractive to women, as even Flora the courtesan may be allowed to testify.

Plut. Pomp. 53

Nevertheless, the marriage was displeasing to some on account of the disparity in years; for Cornelia's youth made her a fitter match for a son of Pompey. 3 Those, too, who were more critical, considered that Pompey was neglect­ful of the unhappy condition of the city, which had chosen him as her physician and put herself in his sole charge; whereas he was decking himself with garlands and celebrating nuptials, though he ought to have regarded his very consul­ship as a calamity, since it would not have been given him in such an illegal manner had his country been prosperous.

Plut. Pomp. 55

The messenger, finding her in this mood, could not bring himself to salute her, but indicated to her the most and greatest of his misfortunes by his tears rather than by his speech, and merely bade her hasten if she had any wish to see Pompey with one ship only, and that not his own. When she heard this, she cast herself upon the ground and lay there a long time bereft of sense and speech. At last, however, and with difficulty, she regained her senses, and perceiving that the occasion was not one for tears and lamentations, she ran out through the city to the sea. Pompey met her and caught her in his arms as she tottered and was falling. "I see thee," she cried, "husband, not by thy fortune, but by mine, reduced to one small vessel, thou who before thy marriage with Cornelia didst sail this sea with five hundred ships. Why hast thou come to see me, and why didst thou not leave to her cruel destiny one who has infected thee also with an evil fortune so great? What a happy woman I had been if I had died before hearing that Publius, whose virgin bride I was, was slain among the Parthians! And how wise if, even after his death, as I essayed to do, I had put an end to my own life! But I was spared, it seems, to bring ruin also upon Pompey the Great."

So spake Cornelia, as we are told, and Pompey answered, saying: "It is true, Cornelia, thou hast known but one fortune to be mine, the better one, and this has perhaps deceived thee too, as well as me, in that it remained with me longer than is customary. But this reverse also we must bear, since we are mortals, and we must still put fortune to the test. For I can have some hope of rising again from this low estate to my former high estate, since I fell from that to this.”

Plut. Pomp. 74-75

I have some vague thought in here about how Pompey was entrusted with Rome’s safety, and that conflicts with his Lover status because you can’t love something more than Rome without Rome deciding to cast you out, and it also prevents him from reclaiming his Soldier role in the ensuing war with Caesar. Doomed by Rome, doomed by Love, doomed by Fortune, etc. but also simply the inevitable cycle of war and violence, the ever turning wheel of Rome.

#ask tag #he’s a weird guy. also a ghost. anyway lovers and soldiers die the same. in a ditch. #if I had to pick between Pompey and Antony I would pick Pompey with zero hesitation

[attonposting]

Okay, so Carth keeps coming up lately, both by people who love him and people who don't, and I thought I'd throw my two cents into the ring.

People complain that Carth is sexist, a lot. And I get where that's coming from, I've got the same issues with his romance as anyone else. I love the bones of Carth's character and remember him very fondly – he's tied for my favorite character from KotOR I, even! But the writing is... flawed, to say the least, and in a way that goes past just 'poorly aged.' I don't think his lines themselves ever go worse than awkward, but there's some more fundamentally unhealthy stuff written into his relationship that I suspect wasn't intentional.

What I find interesting, and what a meme just very succinctly pointed out, is that many of the same people who have beef with Carth are cool with Atton. Who is definitely the more sexist of the two, both incidentally and deliberately. And it's a really interesting differentiation between the two pilots/f!PC love interests/earlygame buddies, because I think their palatability comes entirely down to how the games portray that sexism. So this is my attempt to figure out why one thing works and the other kinda doesn't.

Carth Onasi is introduced as a stand-up guy. He stays behind as long as he possibly can to save other survivors on the Endar Spire; he believes in the Republic wholeheartedly, he serves to protect and approves when you do the same, and other characters sing his accolades. He's supposed to be wholesome, but with PTSD-related trust issues that cause friction between him and you.

Atton Rand is the opposite of that. You find him in a jail cell, he's untrustworthy and a cad, at any given moment he's either abrasive or lying through his teeth, he complains when you help people, and when you get to the bottom of his trust issues, you find out he's a worse guy than you ever could have imagined.

It's much too oversimplified to say that Carth is supposed to be a good person and Atton is not, that's not where the problem comes from, but it will become relevant later.

When Carth starts flirting with you... okay. The biggest, most obvious problem is that the game wants you to be into it. Carth flirts and continues to flirt after you can tell him to stop. Sure, whatever; that's not egregious. You can respond to Carth's flirting positively or negatively, and that's great... but when you do respond negatively, the game loves to pull you into these playful insult exchanges where your PC shouts and pouts while Carth taunts you. There's where the issues start. Even when the player is trying to shut him down, they get dragged along for the ride anyway, and the narrative decides that this is also romantic. Thus KotOR I only has a shallow understanding that it's presenting a situation a woman may want nothing to do with. It's kind of impressive that you can actually call Carth sexist in-game, and yet it doesn't feel like the game actually understands that he is in fact being sexist.

Actually, no. Maybe I'm reading too deep into this, maybe this is why I'm so forgiving to Carth as a character, but I don't think the problem is Carth, I think the problem is that the game is being sexist in this particular spot. I was more annoyed by my own return dialogue options than anything Carth said to me - especially the ones where I was being mean. It felt like f!Revan was being pigeonholed hard into the writer's idea of 'women', that it was not an especially flattering or nuanced view, and there wasn't anything that I actually wanted to say. Definitely the writer did not understand my perspective as a player – but that's not a problem unique to K1 and it's one even the sequel is super guilty of at times, so I'll move on for now.

When Atton makes skeevy remarks, you always have at least one dialogue option to call him out for it, and you cannot ever react positively to what he says. Either you smack him down or you ignore him. This is extremely important. Yes, you could argue that it's not as accommodating to how different players might react... but what this establishes is that the game is self-aware. It does not think what Atton is doing is in any way attractive, or that it should be interpreted positively. Instead it acknowledges what a lady's probable reaction to his unwanted advances would be and encourages the player to express it, and the way that's written isn't a playful back-and-forth, it's the Exile snapping at him and Atton backtracking. Atton's being a piece of shit, but instead of stirring up chemistry, the narrative goes out of its way to mete out karma – hence everyone else on the ship mocking him, or the comically topical details like him being an unwashed loser who smells terrible and scratches his junk in public. Whether you like Atton or not, the game wants you to know that it thinks he sucks, and you are never left feeling like there is an unsettled score.

On the contrary, this lack of self-awareness is what makes Carth's romance in K1 hard to swallow if you didn't start out receptive to it. When you can react negatively to Carth's comments, it doesn't feel like you can do so in an intelligent way. The tone is very “Ugh, MEN, amirite” rather than “I don't like the turn this conversation has taken and would like to just be your colleague again” or just “Stop.” - which is probably what you wanted to say if you were just platonically enjoying or less-amicably bickering with your dorito-jacket companion when the gorgeouses started coming out of left field.

Worse, when you actually can shut Carth's romance down, it involves being a dick to him and stomping hard on his personal issues. Like I'd understand if a player was angry with him at this point, because again, you've been forced into a romance arc even when you were telling the game no as much as it would let you - but there's a huge difference between wanting to tell a guy to back off and wanting to shit on his dead wife or his Sith kid or his blown-up planet. I dunno, I'm not that vindictive! I think there's only a couple of options at the very end of his romance tree where you can turn him down... not even amicably, it's still rude, just without being a Grade-A asshole, and by that point, you have been through a lot of flirting you presumably didn't want to be involved with. Generally, the game won't let you break things off with him without being a dick, even if you never agreed to board that train in the first place. Now loop back to the way that K1 unfailingly portrays Carth as a great guy, whose flaws have nothing to do with his upstanding sense of morality, and there's where the dissonance comes from. Not only does the game push you into his romance after you said no, it makes you the bad guy for trying to get out of what he initiated.

But there's another issue in the timing of the Carth relationship. He starts his flirting while he's expressing intense distrust and standoffishness with your PC. With Carth's nonstop skepticism about your trustworthiness, and constantly bringing up his issues with you... at least during Taris and Dantooine, it comes off more like his attraction to you is superficial and not as a result of him growing to like you, something that's pushed by how it's always focused on shallow hooks like your appearance or your 'cute' attitude. It's very awkward. I do not think this was the writer's intent. I think Carth's supposed to be captivated by what he's seen you do, and that's just going in recursive loops in his paranoid little brain and making things harder for him. By the end of the romance, it's extremely clear that Carth's into you for you. But it's clumsily handled at the start.

Contrast this with Atton, who starts off aggressively sexist towards a female Exile, fifty times more offensive than anything Carth ever does. Literally the first line he gets is leering at the PC's forced state of undress, mocking her vulnerability, and he continues in that vein for much of Peragus. He creeps on your nudity at least four times off the top of my head, he ogles you, he complains about women, he tries to hit on you, he even contemplates the possibility of Sexy Kreia (which is a level of dickery I can scarcely comprehend.)

But that tapers off and disappears around the time he starts showing actual romantic interest in your PC, like when Kreia threatens him and it's revealed how much your opinion matters to him, or when he asks Bao-Dur for advice. And a female PC never sees it again. This creates the opposite impression – that Atton's attraction is a result of your time together. Sure, he's still a pig, but it follows that he wasn't making serious passes at you on Peragus because his behavior now that he is actually interested in you has changed. And it implies that in an actual relationship, that would not be how he'd view or treat you, which I think is crucial for how willing people are to ship Atton with their Exiles.

Now, this is all a product of how K2 did not actually answer that question and let you romance Atton, because with Carth, it's the opposite and you see exactly how he behaves once he gets into a serious relationship. It involves spanking. Things could be very different if K2 actually had fleshed out romances. It's hard to say, because both the PC and the crew were very thoughtfully written (I will take a bold step here and say that K2's characters were on the whole written much better than K1's), but on the other hand, Atton is still the worst and I'm pretty sure the game would want to remind you of that if you agreed to play tonsil hockey with him. And it may have crashed into the same pitfall that Carth's did; if the game railroaded your interactions with Atton up to some point, it'd leave a bad taste in anyone's mouth who wasn't already signed up for the ship.

With the way things are, Atton not only gets a free pass to be interpreted as generously as his fans want and easily ignored by those who weren't keen on him, he even gets an interest boost from this because people will always want what they can't have.

Anyway. With a male PC, you'll continue to see Atton make sexist remarks towards other female characters and can even have a wingman chat with him that is entirely him projecting his issues all over women. He doesn't make these comments with a female PC, suggesting that he's on his best behavior... but that he'd still totally be a leering asshole if he wasn't trying to impress you. With a male PC and Carth, his sexism is nonexistent, again probably because he was never intended to be sexist and it's a product of clumsy/oblivious writing.

There's an additional layer with Atton and the question of how much anything he does is an act, but that doesn't exonerate him from any of the crap he says. I could write a separate essay on Atton and his relationship with women, but the guy is very much a womanizer who's terrified of the idea of intimacy and has a lot of shitty opinions that stem from his defensive need to believe that nothing emotional is ever real or relevant to him. He might've been casing the Exile on Peragus, but his chauvinism is genuine.

But I digress. The tl,dr; is that Atton acts less sucky the more he crushes on you and Carth acts more. Combo that with how their respective games make Atton pay for being creepy but give the strong impression they want you to go along with Carth's nonsense, and it's a little less mystifying why Carth gets so little benefit of the doubt while the King of Trash enjoys fandom sexyman status. His romance is almost predicated on the fact that he's a scumbag, where Carth's is very confused to whether the awkward parts should exist or not.

There's a bit more that kinda hurts Carth. The flirting... well, from what I remember it just got “wow, okay then” later on, and I found it way more silly than offensive in any way, but him repeatedly bringing up how you remind him of his dead wife doesn't help the relationship much and suggests that Carth may be projecting someone else over you. I can live with that, drama's tasty and it doesn't prevent a real connection from burgeoning. You can make the exact same argument for Atton anyway, and I think his is way worse. My major issue is at the end of the game. Mr. Trust Issues does not react well to the events on the Leviathan, when it turns out he was right to have kept an eye on the PC all along. It's great payoff! And I absolutely adore his discussion after that, when he admits his struggles to reconcile you and Revan, how he tried but he can't hate you, how helping you gave him something real when revenge only left him hollow. Seriously, for all the shade it gets, there's some really great stuff in his romance too - you just have to stick it out long enough to see it. But then, on Rakata Prime, Carth seems to reconcile his crisis of faith and finally, wholeheartedly decide to love you in a way that falls flat on its face. He confirms you're a good person because you're not Revan anymore, like Revan is some purely evil part of you you've now cast off, when... that really seems more like denial than anything else, and not the foundation for anything healthy.

Seriously, I wish they'd handled that with more nuance. It would have counted for so much in my books.

All of that said. I know I just went after the man like a vending machine with a stuck bottle of chocolate milk, but I think the sexist vibes in Carth's romance are worst at the start and that he does not deserve the sheer amount of flack he gets. I've seen far worse offenders in the world of video game romances, and this might drive some controversy in and of itself, but I vastly prefer Carth x f!Revan to Bastila x m!Revan. There's a whole 'nother pile of issues in K1's other official ship (f in chat for Juhani), and I think those are much harder to deal with than the ones here. If anything frustrates me with Carth's romance, it's how unnecessary all of the bullshit is. I really want to get into it! The concept is perfectly fine! I love the character! There's good stuff in there! And when I replay KotOR, it's not that difficult to close my eyes to the bleh parts and enjoy the rest, especially once the first couple of conversations are past. Again, all Carth needed was a more conscientious writer at the wheel.

I'd be really interested in hearing other people's takes, both on how they interacted with either of those romances or where their interpretations differed from mine. I only have my own perspective and that of a few people I've talked to over the years, and I'm given to understand this is something of a fandom hot topic!

#carth onasi #atton rand #kotor #kotor 2 #kotor ii #basically a dissertation on how framing makes all the difference #i'm sorry carth #i love you a lot but your writing is so bad #kotor remake pls fix

[coryphefishh]

Let's do a deep dive on a line from the Theron x imperial character romance in Shadow of Revan.

Goes something like...

"And they said if I ever kissed an imp, I'd spontaneously explode."

So uh. First question...WHO EXACTLY does he mean by "they?"

Early Jedi training? No. Jedi say that about kissing anyone.

SIS training? No. For some agents, kissing imps is part of the job description.

Teff'ith? No. Although it's a nice headcanon that she changes pronouns to they/them.

Theory: Whoever these anti-imp-kissing people are, they're more recent acquaintances.

Next question is WHEN? How recently was Theron advised of this?

Let's zoom out shall we?

The makeout is happening in the briefing room. On Yavin. After a whole lot of Republic and Imperial forces arrived and are at this very moment, trying very very hard to get along. And I don't have any specific examples, but I remember there's bickering and banter dialogue that we overhear.

Now let's zoom out even farther and look at content before and after Yavin.

In the Umbara arc, Theron writes in The Letter that, "I loved you from the moment I saw you."

Now, this easily makes sense for a republic character. Theron's job is to make a holocall to an important person, and WOW they are--WOW very attractive.

An impside character? Running through Manaan? Dodging droids and Selkath while being increasingly on fire? Makes just as much sense if you think about it. He wouldn't necessarily know who this chaotic force of nature is at first.

Oops wait halp that's not just an imp, they're an extremely important high profile powerful imp.

Let's zoom back a notch, and we have a plausible theory.

Theron is obviously unsuccessful at putting a stop to these feelings, especially after what happened on Rishi. He is absolutely smitten and just CANNOT STOP TALKING about this magnificent person who stormed the compound to sweep him off his feet and whisk him off to safety, except he'd already escaped, and kriff, the look on their face when they saw he'd already escaped! Except alas his love is an imp! Except what if....

And every single republic soldier in earshot is all "Mr. Shan DO NOT KISS THE IMP!"

#theron shan #shadow of revan #swtor

[talesfrommedinastation]

The Knight is Crowned King

“I am saying it is time to put aside the trooper, the CT number, the clone who served under a sergeant in a Republic that no longer exists. It is time for you to become the captain that we– your people –need you to be.”

Tech stood up straight. “Then, if that is the case, Camina, I have a request.”

“Say it.”

“Get me a tattoo gun. Now.”

-Camina Drummer and Tech, Far Past the Ring

————————-

I really can’t thank @cloned-eyes enough for this wonderful piece that they did. She she taki taki!

It is Camina Drummer giving Tech the infamous 'collar' tattoo of The Belt in her presidential office, LDS mural still behind her.

For me, this culminates the spirit of Far Past the Ring, especially for canon characters Camina Drummer and Tech.

The story was initially conceived as a fun little romp for Clone Force 99, where Tech would meet a Belter engineer, they’d chat, maybe have a short romance, and move on with their lives.

This was February 2023.

But after Plan 99 aired a month later…well, we all went a little nuts. I did, too. Blame the Wellbutrin.

Also, blame me taking folklore classes at Berkeley as an undergrad. I decided the short story was going to become something bigger, and Tech was taking center stage.

On that note, I was so angry for Tech.

I was angry for all of his potential as a character, thrown down the mountain on Eriadu.

So, I decided to whip out the ol’ English 251 notes I had from years ago, and chart out Tech’s own Hero’s Journey, through the world of The Expanse meeting the world of Star Wars.

But I did not want Tech merely limping off into the sun into a simple, happy ending. No.

I wanted him to face challenges, fight, win alliances, and be received as the goddamned hero that he is.

To quote Campbell himself from The Hero with a Thousand Faces:

“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”

And who better to bestow this mighty power and crown unto Tech then Camina motherfuckin’ Drummer.

If you haven’t seen The Expanse, know that Camina Drummer goes through the Hero’s Journey of Hero’s Journeys herself. She rose from an orphan working the docks on Ceres, to a foot soldier for Anderson Dawes, a director under Fred Johnson, the first commanding officer of the largest vessel in human history (The OPAS Behemoth, later Medina Station), and then, the first president of the Transport Union, arguably the most powerful person in the universe.

It isn't an easy journey: she's shot, beaten, breaks her spine, loses the love of her life, watches loved ones get murdered in front of her, and is abandoned by those who professed to love her.

But Camina Drummer never gives up. She fights to the end to make things right. Girlfriend is rewarded....and now she passes that onto Tech.

After all, Camina’s people, the Belters, adorn themselves through tattoos. They live their lives in space, in the vacuum, where jewelry can be lost, damaged or hurt the owner. So they tattoo.

Years ago, cheap suits were supplied by Inners for Belters under their governance. They demanded Belters to work and extract resources from the Kuiper Belt and other outer planets in order to make them rich. The helmet connections ot the suit would often burn the wearer's neck, as seen below on Anderson Dawes.

In many ways, it is also a symbol of the yoke of slavery, of a chain around one’s neck.

Although younger Belters now wear better vacsuits, they still wear the tattoos to remind them of what their ancestors went through, seen on Naomi Nagata below.

A symbol of pain is now a symbol of what Belters are fighting for–freedom. Which they earn.

So, by getting that tattoo, done by Camina Drummer, the hero and president of the Belt, is our Tech getting crowned.

It’s right after Camina makes him their Chief Systems Engineer as well as a commander. He bled and fought for his chosen people, and he is rewarded as such.

It's him saying I'm here, I'm one of you, and your leader is the one putting it on me.

Oh, and in true fairy tale hero’s journey mode, Tech also gets a beautiful Belter ‘princess’...Sjael Drummer, Camina’s cousin.

Once again, something that originally wasn’t in the cards last year, but I wanted a full Hero’s Journey and I was damned if Tech wasn’t going to get it!

Tagging those that have commented and enjoyed the story: @eyecandyeoz @perfectlywingedcrusade @megmca @skellymom @cdblake1565 @thecoffeelorian @supremechancellorrex @that-salmonberry-punk @autistic-artistech @deezlees @littlefeatherr @nahoney22 @freesia-writes @eelfuneral @yeehawgeek @isthereanechoinhere96 @sued134

#tbb #cloneforce99 #thebadbatch #the bad batch #the expanse #theexpanse #belter #fanfiction #starwarsfanfiction #tech #tbb tech #tech tuesday #clone trooper tech #camina drummer #beltalowda #belter tattoo #tech the bad batch

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

So... Can we talk about Zheng Yi Sao please?

I absolutely adored her and she was so much fun (and love the polycule) but I am absolutely failing to see what her role in the larger narrative was.

She unites the pirates only for everyone to get blown and the pirate republic destroyed in one stroke? Because the woman who conquered China is stupid enough to trust a"gifts" British Navy minor prince whom she is blackmailing?

She is basically Stede's more competent side kick for the rest of the episode?

Another one I'm sure will be a controversial opinion! I'd love to hear what y'all think, don't be afraid to leave a comment below.

Funnily enough, my 2 remaining asks are both wanting to discuss Zheng Yi Sao (and to a lesser extent, Archie) as how both of these characters were meant to impact this story and/or failed to do so! Given that the writers looked at the limited amount of time they had and decided to write BRAND NEW characters instead of further developing the people we already liked.

I will be combining the asks, as the other person was anonymous but they spoke more to how Archie and Zheng didn't add much that was new to the story. If that anon would like me to still post their thoughts, let me know!!

First: Archie

I hate to say it, but for the most part, she feels like the response to the common criticism that S1 didn't have any leading women.

Which, yes. Is absolutely valid. This is where I feel we can sit with Archie. She's fun, and hot, and has the same Violent energy Jim had in S1. But by the time episode 8 rolls around, what is she? We know almost nothing about her, to this day. She was in a snake cult...um. She can fight, and is Jim's arm candy? Beyond that, it feels a bit hollow. Especially as Archie enters a relationship with Jim before we as the audience know Jim and Olu are in an open relationship. Yes. Jim thought Olu was dead, but I didn't really like Jim joking about Archie's tits when bringing up the fact they were dating Archie as well now.

NOW-

Onto Zheng Yi Sao! (and to a lesser extent Auntie)

Zheng had 2 rolls to fill this season, character and narriative. Her character roll was-

1.) To be an Ed mirror. She's a badass with a record, a Navy at her back, and yet we can't make her a badass without giving her the same romantic arc as Edward fucking Teach. Seriously. I was bored watching her scenes as soon as it was obvious Olu liked her. Because I could put the pieces together.

Auntie is Izzy trying to hold the legend together, Oluwande is Stede a stranger to this brand of piracy, and Zheng is Ed 1-1 from S1ep4. Congrats welcome back to Season 1, but this time faster, and with a more interesting side interrupting it every other scene.

Zheng is open to new experiences, letting herself be soft, when it comes to her new boy toy. Cool. We're repeating story beats, which I don't love... But then she gets defeated by Olu distracting her and leaving her behind mirroring Ed in ep 10. Stede and Ed's romance is condensed into 3 ish episodes. When we see her again, her arc isn't focused on her conquering the sea. Not really. It's more on how she really misses Olu. For a badass pirate we enjoy watching, I cared more about her slipping into good graces with the pirates of the Republic than her missing her 'quiet part of the day'.

The story also felt a need to parallel the mentor relationship of Zheng and Auntie, with Ed and Izzy. A thing that for the most part I don't agree with. Zheng respects and mourns Auntie in a way Ed doesn't to Izzy. Rewatch S1, does Izzy EVER change Ed's mind? Or does Ed talk down to him like he's a pesky mosquito in his ear. Ignoring him and trying to show off to Stede.

Zheng's personal arc repeats that of a character we had a lot more time with. I wish they just stuck to the cool strategy shit with her. Ironically she's a strong character because she can fight and because she cares about Olu. Which...ew. Just make her a threat, y'all. That's all you had to do.

BUT I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER IN EPISODE 7/8. OMG.

I went from being all right with her and Olu's story to seeing her as her own person. Someone who is very overwhelmed and competent. I also love her actress, so that always helps. It just sucks that she starts to have her own things going on at the very end of the story. Again, we get the Ed parallel of her throwing herself into a suicide mission after Auntie dies, but it doesn't FEEL like a direct mirror the way the romance obviously was.

She was always going to be a plot device, just like everyone else this season because-

2.) She's the reason Stede goes from being stranded on land back on the Revenge. This is the OVERALL reason she was needed here. I wish they handled this differently. I've seen some say the reason she didn't see Ricky as a threat is because the 'point' of Ricky was that you shouldn't underestimate people. But given how she treated Stede's crew like criminals awaiting trial (besides Olu), I fail to see how she would 'underestimate' the people whose claim she was trying to take over. All the characters of this season exist to push the plot forward, even if it doesn't align with how they should behave.

Given that yes. England had a STRONG foothold in the colony of a colony called 'Carolina' at this time(Florida and Georgia were held by the Spanish until the Spanish-American war), the English Navy specifically could send enough troops to push her out in around 2 months. Or hell. Maybe they'd team up with the Spanish and finally clear out the republic.

Zheng needed all the pirates in the area to match the power of their army, and at this point, she didn't have that yet. So why was she so cocky? (Oh. This show ignores history, right.)

[Fanfic concept of an alternate story for this season where Zheng isn't just another love interest that wasn't properly built up]

Personally, if I knew my budget was slashed, I'd save money by cutting unnecessary sets and using the actors I have VERY wisely. So. REWRITE TIME. In episode 1 Stede struggles to make ends meet. ACTUALLY struggling not comedic struggling. Working all hours of the day, not seeing an end in sight, the crew not wanting to go back and find Ed. Hell, some of the crew threatened to leave and get on new ships. The works. Then suddenly he is given a deal from Auntie. She knows who Stede is, and wants to bargain. He'll get a small ship, in return for his future loyalty, and potentially that of Blackbeard. Hint that this was all from the 'Pirate Queen', and BAM. No need to have the entire plot on Zheng's ship, a plot that dragged compared to that on the Traumatized Revenge, and it gives the audience something to get excited about!!

Who is this pirate queen? What will this 'loyalty' mean for the next few episodes? Etc. Maybe find Lucius early in Ep 1 at the Republic recovering, having recently been left for dead by his nearest pirate ship. This way we have another thing Stede is keeping secret from the crew and Ed, and show how Stede would react in this situation. PLUS! Epic badass Zheng slowly being hinted at taking over the Republic from episodes 6-7 before she's foiled at the end of episode 8? Yes, this gets rid of us DIRECTLY SEEING that she was betrayed by Ricky, but instead of focusing on Zheng, focus on Stede and Ricky's dynamic in ep 1. Make us see how slimy he is. Then in ep 7 show Ricky making a deal on a ship we've never seen. Think Ed in ep 3 S1, dark, smoky, and when he enters the office? ZHENG YI SAO! Badass pirate trying to expand her grasp across the ocean to fuck over the worlds militaries.

THAT is a pirate threat. Not like Jack and his story of a mutiny, or Anne and Mary of however they left the life. Or Ned whose crew was a singly conversation of Mutiny. Pirates are clever bastards who aren't to be fucked with. Zheng is new, and a different way to control the area than we're used to. Then, we the audience can see JUST how fucked over Zheng will be. Zheng goes to land and still wipes up Stede's crew thanks to legend, and maybe a betrayal after finding out about the deal. Ep 7 bar fight, leading into episode 8. Hell, maybe have her and Olu flirt. This way the audience already knows Jim's alright with it AND we get to see more wingman Jim. Which was already a DELIGHT.

My big issue with Both Zheng and Archie's romances is that their Olu and Jim didn't feel like our Olu and Jim. Oluwande S1 was nervous, clever, and good with people. Very protective of Jim, I always got the opinion that if shit ever started to look bad, he'd do everything he could for him and Jim to flee. Jim was a hard egg to crack, but sarcastic and closed off even when you got to know them. Which they RARELY did.

In S2, Jim and Olu almost feel like the same goofy characters. The twist is that they still love each other and love someone else. Which is cool, just an odd choice. Given that their reunion felt...dull. But it's obvious the writers will only develop a character if they are in a romance. (Lucius and Pete? Let's talk about trauma and recovery. Olu and Zheng? Let's discuss kindness and softness? Jim and Archie? Loyalty and compassion built by blood.) That's all they had time for, and honestly, I'd rather deepen what we know about characters like Frenchie and Wee John than see another shallow romance. Lucius and Pete worked better because, AGAIN, they were ALREADY ESTABLISHED.

Much like how the rest of this season is too fond of callbacks, Zheng's entire character can be summarized by 'diet Ed' and I hope the fandom sees her harsh, willing-to-do-anything to get the job done, attitude and expands on THAT versus a carbon copy of the main show's romance. Her roll was to get closure with Auntie in a way that Ed couldn't with Izzy. Which...yikes.

tldr: good characters, but were sadly thrown away without much development.

#ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd critical #zheng yi sao #archie ofmd #ofmd season two #ofmd s2 finale #I would add ship names but TBH I don't know the main ones for the poly group #AGAIN I LOVE THE IDEA- But the execution of the relationships fell flat to me

[queer-starwars-bracket]

Queer Star Wars Characters: FINAL

Juhani | Identity: lesbian | Media: Knights of the Old Republic

Juhani from 2003’s Knights of the Old Republic was the first ever queer character in Star Wars. The Mandalorian Wars rendered Juhani’s family refugees on Taris after the destruction of their homeplanet of Cathar. Juhani was enslaved due to her mother’s debts, but was liberated by the Revanchists when they freed Taris from Mandalorian rule. This inspired her to travel to Dantooine to train as a Jedi, where she fell in love with her fellow padawan Belaya. For her final trial, she was tricked into believing she killed her master when consumed by the Dark Side. She fled into the wilds of Dantooine, her turmoil agitating the wildlife. Dealing with Juhani is the player’s final trial as a Jedi, and they can either kill Juhani or handle the situation diplomatically and return her to the light. She then joins the player as a companion.

Traveling together, Juhani grows close to Revan and can be romanced by female Revans (the game shipped with the gender flag for romance bugged, but she is intended to be a lesbian). She takes the player turning out to be Revan very well, as she never truly accepted that Revan turned to the Dark Side due to how the Revanchists saved her. If the Dark Side ending is chosen, the player must kill Juhani.

Juhani strives to be a good Jedi, strongly believing in their principles. However, she struggles with the in-born aggression and heightened anger of her species, which with her perfectionism creates a vicious cycle that drives her towards the Dark Side. Other than Revan, she kept herself separate from the rest of the crew of the Ebon Hawk, especially Canderous Ordo due to the Mandalorian’s genocide of her people. She was also full of bitterness regarding the racism she faced on Taris, and struggled not to lash out against all humans because of it. 

Chelli Lona Aphra | Identity: lesbian | Media: Star Wars Comics

Oh Aphra, where to begin. Honestly the best way I can describe her is that she’s Star Wars’ Vriska. She’s a “rogue archeologist” and in marketing material sometimes compared to Indiana Jones, but the only similarity is that she can feature in the same wacky stories about retrieving artifacts except with none of the mismatch between modern ideas about archeology and repatriation and Indy being the hero, because she specifically isn’t. She was originally created for the 2015 Darth Vader comic series, recruited to help Vader raise a force that would let him coup the Emperor. She was so popular she then got her own comic series, making her the breakout star of the Disney/Marvel Star Wars comics. The Fandom Menace can’t touch her.

Her comics have been a series of frankly strange adventures involving Force artifacts, Vader either working with her or wanting her dead, and double crosses that leave your head spinning. She has Thrawn level tactical abilities, but only for schemes. She is haunted by how her trauma born behaviors make it hard for her to maintain relationships and be a good person. She has so many exes it's an entire section of this tournament. Her most significant relationships have been with Sana Starros and Magna Tolvan. As of the end of the Spark Eternal arc, the comic seems to be leaning towards a poly ending with the three of them, but first Aphra needs to stop self sabotaging.

One of Aphra’s greatest achievements was at the end of her 2016 comic run, where she trapped Vader in a PTSD flashback Force artifact on Tython and hacked his suit to allow her to erase Hoth from the Empire’s records. She did this for the sake of her loved ones who had joined the Alliance. Doing this gave Echo Base enough time to build up before they were found again that they were able to evacuate much more efficiently. That’s right, disaster lesbian love saved the Rebellion.

#star wars #sw #sw legends #kotor #juhani #doctor aphra #chelli lona aphra #sw comics #sw doctor aphra #doctor aphra comics

[darrowsrising]

Spring Fever:

Universe: Red Rising by Pierce Brown

Characters: Darrow of Lykos, Virginia au Augustus

Genre: (explicit!) Smut, Romance, Fluff

Timeline: circa 745 PCE in spring

Location: Silene Mansion, Sovereign's personal home office, Luna

Additional tags: Porn Without Plot,Reaper's Kiss (Darrow likes to eat his wife out A LOT), Virginia is impatient and she scratches, Mustang's Bitch is also Mustang's panty ripper, heavy abuse of jamFields because Darrow is OBSSESSED with his wife's voice, open defilement of Nero's desk, Virginia drives him mad with lust too, explicit smut, possibly OOC, idk;

Disclaimer: Red Rising and all things associated belong to Pierce Brown.

Intro: Luna is in full bloom and the world shines with lust for life. His first campaign after Octavia's fall was successful, but the Reaper still needs recovery. And while the staff is terrified and people gossip about how could the Reaper even stay put for so long, Darrow finds an occupation in between his wife's legs. But patience has never been the Sovereign's virtue...

Contains: Cunnilingus, Blow Job, Vaginal Sex;

💖

Spring bleeds on Luna in the Reaper’s 25th Earth year. The season has seeped into the soil and the very soul of the people. Hope abounds, as the liberated moon blooms as though it never did that before, as though it knows it almost turned to glass and now feels life more deeply.

While hope springs eternal, trust is delicate at the best of times. The war still rages, the chains still rattle, there is more to come. The new lancers of House Augutus know this well – no one sleeps on their laurels, least of all Primus Virginia au Augustus, the Sovereign of the Solar Republic. While Senators are permitted to speak back to their liege and not get killed in this new age, everyone that is not a moron, also knows that the Primus knows better.

So no one asks why the Sovereign’s Court is entirely Martian, why Daxo au Telemanus himself trains every Lionguard and every Optimate personally or why they all dine, in batches, with the Reaper himself every once in a while. They don’t even question the discussions that happen right in front of them in the privacy of their own mind. But they know. They have eyes, they can see how and most importantly, why this is all worth it. They are building a better future, they are building trust. Mars is home, Mars is the soul of everything.

No one questions what happens in the Sovereign’s office either. Especially not the Selene Office. But even the most loyal of household members cannot help worrying at the eerie silences that vibrate through the very walls whenever the Reaper was called for a one-on-one meeting – the stern man that enters makes everyone’s hair stand on ends, but the one that exits frightens.

___________________________________________

There is a symphony of moans and mewls he is coaxing out of her, but when it echoes off the jamField, it makes his blood tremble in his veins. Everything in him hurts and aches with pleasure as her hands grip his hair and her nails score his scalp. His cheeks and chin are coated with her slick, as his tongue teases and explores her clit and his fingers reach all of the right spots within her dripping cunt. He lives for all the sounds she makes.

As he kneels at one end of the oak and iron desk right between her legs, the sight seems to drive Virginia over the edge yet again. She tries to pry his head away in vain. She cannot help screaming his name. He holds steadfast, lifts himself upright, but keeps his hand moving within her. She is trembling and tense with pleasure, her eyes shut, her mouth gasping for air, her hands still holding unto him for dear life.

He hugs her close and kisses her forehead softly, waiting for her to come down. He feels sweat trickling down his back, soaking his shirt. He discards his black doublet then grabs her wrists gently from his hair, dragging his thumbs over her pulse in circles. She moans, her breathing raspy. She lifts up her chin and looks at him with honeyed eyes. The haze of pleasure flushed her skin and made her eyes shine.

Her slacks have been discarded somewhere under the desk. Her panties in pieces on the floor.

Her long tunic, masterfully undone just like her compression bra. And now, they are both parted and pushed to the sides of her. Her baby hairs are curled towards her face. Her chest rises and falls with her softening breathing. His kisses left marks upon it, her neck as well.

She looks absolutely edible, he could feast on her forever. But she does not want that at this moment. She positively pouts at him.

“ – Take your breeches off, ArchImperator.”, her tone suggests payback, but Darrow is not quite done yet.

“ – In a moment, my love”, he smirks as he shifts her wrists into one hand and pushes her unto her back over the smooth, simple surface of the desk. He places his knee between her thighs to brace himself. He is gentle when he undresses her, guiding her arms out of the tunic and the bra and kissing her lips. She moans into his mouth in protest.

“ – Are you perhaps miffed with me for not approving your active duty leave immediately after your last one?”, her worried gaze find his lustful eyes. The words fall on him like cold water. He draws back from her and rips his own shirt off. A few strands of his hair cling to his wet neck. He moves to straddle her:

“ – I am glad that is over for now.”, he breathes on a whisper. “ I thought I will never see you again and couldn’t think of a more miserable way to die.”, he caresses her face with the very hand that failed to react on time. He grabs her right hand and places it upon his broad chest.

A few inches to the left and he would have died. But he survived, he is safe, he is home and the resSkin has healed over the scars, his recuperation will resume. What he managed last campaign should keep until he is completely ready this time.

“ - I simply have need of you.”, his heart thunders under her palm. His thumb starts to trace circles on her inner wrists. He is blushing all the way to his ears as he moves her hand to his clothed cock. A soft moan escapes him when she cups and caresses him and he closes his eyes at the sensation.

She swallows at the sight and pounces. When he opens his eyes, he first registers that her hands are not on him anymore, then the feeling of being grabbed and thrown in her desk chair via an effective kravat move. Unlike the Morning Chair, this one is comfortable, orthopedic and plush. Not that he cares much, not when she rises from the top of what used to be Nero au Augustus’ desk – simply designed in oak and iron, now decorated with lions and pegasi carvings – in her glowing, naked glory. She is a sight to behold, all grace and ease with a sole purpose in mind. Sweet, hot retribution.

His cock throbs when she leans over him, her mouth closing in on his. Her hands work off his breeches, before he gets the chance to taste her lips again. She immediately kneels and places her hand at the base and traces her tongue along the vein. He curses and pleads as she starts pumping her hand slowly. Her teasing laugh echoes off the jamField as she takes him into her mouth. She finds an easy rhythm between her mouth and her hand. The wet sounds fill their little space and echo over and over. His nails are digging into the leather of her chair and he is not even breathing. She releases him with a soft pop, gazing at him worriedly. His eyes are closed, his head thrown back as though in prayer, his naked chest is flushed, the muscles of his torso rippling as he starts to let the air out of his lungs in a controlled hiss.

Before she can even ask, he stands and takes her with him in his arms; her legs wrap around his waist as he is kissing her hard to distract her. His hands caress her arse, the length of her right leg, the sensitive underside of her left breast. He places her back on the desk, breaking the kiss and touching her forehead to his.

“ – Please…”, his voice is reverent and raspy. He places a peck on her lips, eyes beseeching her understanding.

Her response is fast and savage. Exactly what he needs. Her heels dig into the small of his back, a hand finds purchase into the hair at the back of his neck, her mouth seeks his greedily.

He penetrates her slowly. As he establishes the rhythm they both need, his hand traces a deliberate path up her back until he finds purchase in her hair and drags it to tilt her head into the right position. Her nibbles softly at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. She moves her hips to meet his, traces his naked spine and she licks and sucks his earlobe into her mouth, making him groan and shudder. He flicks his thumb over her clit in response; adjacent to the movement of his hips, she comes on his cock so hard that she screams into his mouth.

Her fingernails draw blood as she drags them over his shoulder blades in bliss. His fist tightens into her hair heightening her pleasure.

He calls her name to capture her attention and tells her how he missed her, how he could not sleep without her voice in his ears, her every speech a soothing balm over his torn heart, a reminder of why he must fight. How he loves her – the most – how she feels around him - heavenly. He peppers her neck with kisses as he whispers into her pulse points, pleads for her to let go and feel him, as he tries to extend her every sensation. He starts to soothe her when she is ready.

He takes her with him carefully from the desk and sits back into the chair, still embedded within her spasming cunt. He kisses her forehead and groans out the pleasure he feels, He is sensitive to every movement she makes, even as she breathes raggedly from her high. Her palms use his shoulders as a leverage, she starts to move slowly and deliberately. She touches her forehead to his in a silent accord.

“ – Darrow, come for me…”, her plea has him engaging his core to move towards his own climax. She grabs him by the hair and he moans a yell into her mouth. His hand pushes her hip into him, as her nails dig into his pectorals. He comes into her and the sounds he makes resound around them; among all these sensations she is pleasured as well.

Her nails let go of his skin and her palm caresses his torso, slowly exploring the rise and fall of his ragged breathing through his muscles. His cheeks and ears are burning, his hair sticking to his face as he softens inside her, spent and tired. She arranges herself carefully and cuddles close to him to hear his heartbeat under her ear. As he regains his ability to speak in coherent sentences, he warms her body with caresses.

“ – Hope you cared about your father’s favourite rug less than you cared about his desk, my love,” his laugh is contagious, but she manages to hide it under a grin and a playful swat on his right pectoral.

“ – That is with the Conquerors exhibition. This one we will burn in the hearth as soon as possible, in the warmest spring day we had so far.” She kisses his lips sweetly and slowly, as if to appease the thoughts of what is to come. “We have profaned my father’s desk sufficiently without the blood of the emperor as witness”, the smell of him enveloped her – all woodsy and sepulchral – she kisses his jugular and traces a path towards his lips. “And, of course, we will continue to do so every chance we get”. His laugh eases her heart.

They will soon resume their duties. Will not take even hours. He will help her dress her for a meeting at the Citadel, where she will make a speech to all the leaders of the 14 parties, smelling like him through the entire thing. She will provide a new shirt for him from her secret stash of clothes for emergencies. He will savour the feel of his skin pulling as he moves from the wounds in his back. His body will ache sweetly all day.

He will also have time for their child. Pax will play and eat with him and he will be lulled to sleep by his father’s songs. She will come back when the last song is almost over, when their energetic toddler is fast asleep, when Darrow’s heart beats with utter joy and love. Her own heart will ache at the sight, for the love she bears Darrow and Pax and for having brought a child into these raging worlds. She knows Darrow’s heart will ache as well with all the promises he must delay.

As, he drapes her long tunic over her cooling, naked body and kisses her forehead, hugging her close to his chest, she thinks for a moment at their mutual decision for long-term contraceptives. Ironically enough they were at rogue war with the Society when they discussed and applied this. With the Republic established, the need for it seemed even more imperative, so they decided to keep it.

He caresses her face and moves her head to look into her eyes.

“ – I’ve missed you too.”, she smiles. She still has him for a little while longer. She will enjoy what she has, for it is enough. It is a world of their making, the only one they can love one another. The only one their child can exist.

“ – Did you rip my panties again, ArchImperator?”, her accusatory tone, her raised eyebrow, her jabbing forefinger bearing her father’s ring – he cannot help, but burst out laughing. She didn't seem to mind it the moment he did it, not one bit.

Later, changed into the new shirt, he glares at everyone in his path as he makes his way back to the Sovereign’s office from their stateroom. Under closed doors, he tries not to be smug about ripping through her emergency stash of underwear, but as she throws the scraps into burning desk rug with an annoyed expression, a chuckle escapes. She is only wearing her long tunic, her slacks laid on her desk.

“ – Anything to say for yourself, ArchImperator”, she is not amused one bit; her hand reaches out for the new pairs he is now retrieving from the breast pocket of his doublet, as a peace offering.

“ – Nothing, my liege, absolutely nothing.” She picks one that matches her compression bra and drags it up her legs and puts on her slack as well, glaring at him, not trusting him one bit to simply help her dress.

“ – Keep it up like this and the Sovereign's lingerie will come out of your pocket.”, she pouts a bit, but then concludes it will be a good idea. He is all for it as well, as he presses a soft kiss on her cheek.

The windows open, a stream of flowery air fills the room. Spring indeed bleeds over Luna.

#red rising #red rising fanfiction #astrea writes #reaper x mustang is supreme #darrow of lykos #darrow au andromedus #reaper #virginia au augustus #mustang #sovereign #lionheart

[poelya]

actually, speaking of lore consistency, i've been thinking about a lot of the tie-in material for the sequels here lately and i have to say there's a lot less consistency I feel like than there could have been. and i'm not just talking charles soule 'oh fuck what tfa said about the fall of luke's temple actually', but like...generally speaking i feel like so much emphasis being put on, at the time, that everything expanded 'verse worked consistently with the films, actually harmed the perception of the films themselves.

because when you divorce the films from their book/comic tie-ins, they flow very well. better than typical criticism will have you think (and before anyone brings up Rey's parentage, first off I lived through tasm2. that shit WAS nonsensical. second off, traumatized brains genuinely work like that. doylist explanation of the writers waffling - something very common in star wars, unless you've forgotten luke and leia's romance fizzling out because hanleia was more popular and george last second retconning them to be sibs - could be criticized, but the watsonian explanation that Rey's memories are that badly fucked up from trauma fits. source: my memories are that badly fucked up from trauma). the only thing is that the movies don't remain consistent with the tie-in material.

which, duh. they're the source material, not these one-shots. the opening scrawl of tfa says that leia has support of the senate behind her with the resistance, which is why poe introduces himself as commander of the new republic fleet. it's why the resistance is in dire straits in tfa/tlj, they just lost their support system. but tie-in material built off a deleted scene, where the senate largely doesn't take the resistance seriously. so we wind up in this bizarre land of "the senate didn't support the resistance but actually they did". if it had been better fleshed out, it would've worked (my partner came up with a great explanation for how both would work and it's simply not there in the 'canon' text). then you have the poe comics, which decides that despite tfa making it extremely clear that looking for tekka was ren's responsibility (with battlefront ii backing this by having him torture del), we get....random first order intelligence officer being in charge of the hunt, because soule was more interested in doing mission impossible-esque stories than the kinds of stories that would better fit the tekka search. this isn't even counting the back and forth of poe's character development in the comics (listen i love those comics, but there's a LOT of two steps forward, three steps back, especially in regards to Poe handing Tekka over. That arc perfectly set up Poe from BTA growing into the Poe we see in the films, annnnnnnnnnnnnd then Soule like. retracted it in the very next issue. This does not upset me in the slightest, why do you ask [chewing through drywall] and like. poe and leia have no familial dynamic to them in those comics either, to the point that watching tlj for the first time was a tRIP for me because i had a !!! oh!!! they're family!!! moment bc that's not present in the comics, with the exception of maybe l'ulo's funeral)

and of course my favorite example of the source material going "ew wtf" is tros just. point blank. saying "who the fuck is resistance reborn?" specifically through poe. iconic, showstopping, i love it to pieces because that novel deserves a slow death rotting at the bottom of the ocean.

the best tie-in material is often either ones built AFTER the films all released (looking at u free fall) or the rare time you can tell the author genuinely loves the characters/era and writing it isn't just a gig. my point is i think by having authors largely ignoring the canon text, and making this very inconsistent lore built around a deleted scene, etc, very seriously harmed the sequels.

#like i don't think it's a coincidence that CASUAL fans like those movies a ton #but a lot of the hardcore invested in the lore fans doesn't #like the tie in for them is SO inconsistent and throws a middle finger to the source material so frequently it's depressing #don't even get me STARTED on the tlj visual dictionary just point blank /rewriting/ poe's arc entirely #and releasing ahead of the movie which i'm sure had 0 impact on people's opinions of him #anyway. #just my thoughts lmao #nym speaks #sw negativity #I GUESS? #i didn't actually mean to be that negative but it's fairly critical so #long post

[tcwmatchmakingau]

Old Flames

Prompt : What if Fives somehow matched with an old fling he had feelings for early in the war and they rekindle that old romance?

Pairing : Fives x Female OC

Rating : NFM

Word Count : 4,985  sorry :/

Content Warnings : Mention of death. Swearing. Sexual innuendo. Otherwise fluff and a bit of angst

The music was in a minor key and pumping, just the way Veera liked it. She loved to dance and her music loud but feeling a little self-conscious, (she was slightly older than the average patron), she kept to a darker corner of the dance floor. She’d not been to this club before but had already decided she would return, especially if this DJ was appearing… just, not on a night like tonight. Speed dating was on in the room next door and she’d come to support a work colleague who’d wanted company to be on the safe side. But that had worked to her own advantage, as she had arranged to meet a date of her own here. Veera had bitten the bullet! After a failed relationship with a clone officer, she’d decided to enlist the help of RTL Matchmaking, an agency dedicated to clones. Veera had always preferred letting nature take its course, so to enlist the help of an agency to speed up the process of finding a partner, went right against her grain. At least they were a not-for-profit! It took a hell of a lot for her to submit but the man she’d lost was going to take some beating, no standard fellow would cut it, she wanted to meet another clone but with an aversion to 79’s, she knew she needed professional help.

The first round of ‘speeding’ had finished and contenders were now hitting the main room, most of them remaining in their ‘chat up’ frame of mind. Veera’s friend was in round two, so she had another good hour of meat market diplomacy to contend with. Still, she was grateful for any chance to go out. One week shy of the Battle of Geonosis and the start of the war, Veera had found herself a short-term detainee in Coruscant’s immigration detention. She’d been deported from Raxus, accused of ‘Pro-Republic Views’. It wasn’t as black and white as that though, Veera was more a conscientious objector and had made some political comments that angered her regional governor, a man of dubious character. A deal had been struck that saw Veera and her university colleagues released from a labour camp but deported, “To their obviously preferred home world,” as punishment. Needless to say, being from a Separatist world during the height of the conflict meant life hadn’t been easy on Coruscant.

But now, Palpatine was dead, the war was over and Veera had freedom! She could be with whomever she wanted and go wherever she wanted and right now, she wanted to go to the bar! She ordered two bottles of water, downed one on the spot and thought to hell with it, “A morning concoction too, please!”

She’d barely finished her first sip when some boy saddled up to her, attempting a vulgar chat up line. The bartender heard and locked eyes with Veera, waiting to see her response and her first thought was to verbally bite a great chunk out of the lad but she restrained herself.

“I’m seeing someone,” she told him short and sweet. Tucking her bottled water under her arm, she took her drink in hand and moved to slip away.

“Are they here tonight though?” he followed up.

Veera just inhaled and walked away to find a table, concentrating solely on not spilling her drink as she watched the liquid swirling close to the rim of the glass. She thought a quick sip would lessen the chance of any spillage but didn’t see the group of animated young men advancing towards the bar and they were too busy talking to see her. It was an accident waiting to happen and sure enough, one ploughed straight into her! Next thing Veera knew, other than a hefty jolt, was caf and vodka up her nose and her water bottle hitting the floor. Swiftly registering that even more of her drink was dribbling over her mouth like a horseshoe moustache, she feigned looking for her bottle whilst quickly wiping her chin. One of the men had already retrieved it and was passing it to her with a, “Miss, your water.”

She was taken aback to realise he was a clone. It was then she realised another of the group had grabbed her hand to steady her drink, thus preventing any further disaster. Looking up at him with admittedly a little trepidation, to both apologise and thank him, she froze! She could tell by his expression that he too was doing a double take. But that goatee and tattoo, it was definitely him. She gasped for air.

“Fives!”

“Veera?”

Panic set in and her eyes darted around the club, “Fives, you’ll get into trouble!”

“Veera, the war’s over. I doubt we have to worry about that anymore.”

His comment brought her back to the here and now and she realised to her embarrassment she was on the cusp of hyperventilating. He had taken her other hand as well while the boys with him were looking at them in total confusion.

“I was never what they said I was,” she blurted out, surprising herself even.

“Hey cyar’rika, I never thought you were.”

It took a moment for his words to register and he looked at her with such a deep empathy she was transfixed.

“Um, this is awkward,” he continued. He gave her hand a tiny squeeze before letting go, “I’m actually here to meet someone. I don’t want to be rude but I’m about to be late.”

“Oh! That’s ok,” she swiftly answered. “I um, sorry to hold you up, I didn’t spill anything on you did I? Best let you go then. I’m supposed to be meeting someone as well anyway, so er –“

“Yeah well, uh, it would be nice to see you again… might even catch you before I leave tonight, if my plans don’t work out?”

“Sure, maybe later then…. unless you were here to meet with a Jane Doe to begin with?” she said jokingly. It was the name oddly given by RTL to identify herself to her match.

His mouth gaped, “Were you told to meet up with a John Doe?” he asked suspiciously.

Now Veera stood stunned, “Did you get that name from RTL?”

“Yes,” he confirmed.

“You’re John Doe?”

“Yeah, and you’re Jane Doe?”

“Yes!”

The lads were watching their conversation toing and froing as if watching a null-racket match.

“They matched us!” Veera stated.

“Looks like it,” he laughed a little. “Wow!”

“Yeah, wow! …Oh, well er… now I know why they gave us pseudonyms.”

“Yeah, bet they’re sitting in their office looking at their chronos thinking, any…minute…now!” Fives joked.

They took each other in for a moment before Fives clapped his hands together and turned to his junior clones.

“Ok gentlemen, it would appear I’ve stumbled across my date. You can all go now and sign up to the speed dating. We’ve got some serious catching up to do.” And with that, Fives led Veera to a table, sat her down first then joined next to her.

“I have to admit I’m staggered!” said Veera, “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again!”

“Me too…although, I wanted to see you again.”

“As did I but –” Veera let out a big sigh. “When RTL interviewed you, did you tell them about –?“

“Yeah, I did,” he preempted her words, “You?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “So, where do we start?”

Fives huffed in acknowledgement they’d have a bit to get through. “How about er… where do you work?” he teased.

Veera saw the funny side of his hackneyed first-date question, “Same hospital but I’ve moved to the ED, which I’d wanted all along. What about you, you’re out of armour, still an ARC with the Five-o-First?”

“Yes, although thinking of applying for an instructor’s position. It comes with a promotion.”

“Really? You’d be good at that that…. I’d like for you to get a promotion.” Veera then nodded at the lads who had come with Fives, “So, no Echo, although I’d dare say this wouldn’t be his scene, how is he?”

Fives paused and momentarily drew on the tabletop with his finger, “Actually, we lost him over a year ago, killed in action.”

Veera’s heart sank, “Fives! I am so sorry.” She instinctively reached out to hold Fives by the hand, “That wasn’t very smart of me, I didn’t think, I am so sorry.”

Fives placed his other hand on Veera’s to fully envelope hers but couldn’t bring himself to look at her, “It’s alright, time heals as they say.”

“Hmm, they say.” Veera brought her other hand into the mix and they silently sat holding each other.

“You know,” he said, turning to look at her, “it happened only about a week after we deployed.”

“So soon after I met you both!” It deeply unnerved Veera to think that on meeting Echo, his days were already numbered.

“And about two days after I was ordered to not see you again.”

Veera was silently registering his despondency when he scoffed, “The irony still gets me, only Echo could console me after losing you, then I would’ve given anything for you to console me after losing Echo.”

Fives was staring blankly at their hands watching his thumb slowly caresses her when he realised Veera was letting go to scoop him up in a hug and Force, he hadn’t realised how much he needed the gesture.

“I’m sorry. I thought Echo was such a lovely fellow.”

“Huh, you might not say that when I tell you he told me to dump you like a hot kebroot! He did a very good job of talking me out of wanting to defy my orders.”

Veera laughed as she sat back. “Oh, did he now?” she said with a knowing smile. “Guess I can’t blame him after what they probably said about me. Ultimately he was looking out for you. Bless him!” She raised her glass in a toast and took a sip of its remnants, offering Fives the rest. He took it and raised it in return.

“Yeah, good ol’ Echo,” he toasted, and then finished off her drink. He laughed to himself as he put the glass down with a faint sniff, “He was filthy on finding out you were Raxian.”

Veera wasn’t prepared for how much that would hit a nerve, “He wasn’t alone on that front.”

“Sorry, put my foot in it, I didn’t mean it to sound like that.” But as he lent on the table his memories kept swirling around in his head and it ended up too much for him, finally turning to face Veera and spitting out, “What in Sith’s Hell was going on?”

Veera retracted a little at his gesture and he was quick to apologise, taking her hand again and holding it firmly in both his. “I’m sorry it’s just, it drove me nuts, even after all this time it would crop up to bug me…. It couldn’t have been too bad or they wouldn’t have let you join a clone matchmaking service.”

Veera couldn’t help acknowledge his logic with a slight laugh.

“I’ll talk officer,” she joked, raising her hands in surrender, “I’ll tell you anything you want to know but I’m gonna need a drink while I’m at it.”

“I do want to know,” said Fives decidedly, “I do… Let’s get something.”

He turned the switch for the holo-menu on their table and they lent in to see what was on offer. Despite the uncertainty of what he would learn, he felt a pleasant familiarity being next to Veera and he hoped she felt the same, so close together their arms almost touching, and as they finalised their choices he’d sneak a look here and there, the length of her eye-lashes, the straight line of her nose and her cheek bones, or more so the plump bit right at the top, he was sure the girls would have a name for it when doing their makeup but he knew it as the part he loved to brush his thumbs over, if he could just hold her face in his hands. Force, he’d forgotten just how captivating she was.

“Oh let’s get both bottles!” she said.

“What?” he snapped back to paying attention, “Two bottles of wine?”

“Why not? The war’s over and we should live it up - they matched us up for a reason! Our friends can help with any leftovers.”

“Oh mesh’la.” He smiled at her and hit the order button with conviction. Turning to face Veera, Fives sat with one arm resting on the table, the other on the back of his chair and in a tone that hinted he was accustomed to giving orders, said short and sharp, “Ok then, from the beginning!”  

Veera sighed deeply and made herself comfy in her chair.

“Before you lads got rec leave and we were looking after Wolffe in our hospital, I’d worked out that somebody was going through my apartment messing it up, as if toying with me. I was convinced the politician that got me deported had hired Raxian goons to intimidate me.”

Fives was taken aback.

“I reported it to the police and told Wolffe and my uncle, you remember he was Wolffe’s surgeon, during one of Wolffe’s check-ups, that’s when he started helping me out with bug detectors and the like. He knew I was from Raxus, he’d read my dossier but still, he was taking a bit of risk with me being a new arrival. What we didn’t know then, was that Homeworld were also going through my flat.”

“What? I thought they were just watching your place, not going through it.”

“Turns out they’d been watching the Raxians going into my joint so assumed I ran some safe house. Homeworld would go in and rifle around after the Raxians had been in.”

Fives nodded to hold off as their waiter arrived with their order. He then did the honours and poured Veera a glass of wine whilst she decided on something to eat from their mixed platters.

“So,” he continued, taking some food for himself, “you had two groups routinely rifling through your apartment.”

“Yes, then you clones got granted rec leave and Wolffe arranged that One-o-Fourth party at 79’s to thank our ward staff.”

“The night me met,” Fives smiled and Veera couldn’t help smiling back.

“Yes and because Homeworld were watching my place, they’d seen Wolffe visit but then saw me come home with you after our date.”

“And from that they accused you of entrapment?” Fives shook his head and helped himself again to the platter. “Did they not realise all I scored that night was a caf and data pad full of legal documents to read while you got changed for your night shift?” he playfully bemoaned.

Veera shrugged, “Bureaucrats, maybe getting invited in for caf and to read someone’s data pad is their idea of sexy.”

Fives laughed out loud.

“No, hang on!” Veera remembered, “You got a kiss when you later dropped me off at the hospital so you can’t complain!”

“I’ll complain I only got the one,” he said with a wink and a sip of his wine. He was pretty certain she’d blushed at that.

“Anyway,” she stalled to recover, “a few nights later, Wolffe visited and crashed on the couch while I went to work. They actually broke in that night and he caught one of them.”

“For real? Go Wolffie!”

“He then arranged a meeting with Fox for information on who he’d caught but it turned out he caught a Homeworld agent. That’s how we found out their involvement.”  

“No way!” Fives laughed, “Incompetent lot.”

“Yeah, I have my opinions, anyhow, Wolffe’s meeting with Fox was then interrupted by Homeworld. Wolffe was told you and he were getting orders to sever contact but Fox argued it would be better if Wolffe stayed in touch as an informant.”

Fives paused for a few minutes to absorb the latest bit of information. “Hmm, so Wolffe go to stay onboard yet I was thrown overboard? Crafty bastard that Fox. It’s not for nothing he’s called that.”

Veera shifted a little uncomfortably.

“And Wolffe started informing on you?” said Fives surprised and with a little shake of his head, picked over the platters again and Veera joined him. “How did you find that out?”

“Let’s just say Wolffe told me without telling me, if you catch my drift. He thankfully didn’t believe them and disagreed with what they were doing, so, hell of a risk on his behalf!”

“It was either very trusting or foolish of him.”

“Since when have you known him to be foolish?” Veera was feeling a little pressured and pulled the menu up to order some more water. “Look a lot happened in the hospital and Wolffe came to trust me. I just can’t tell you what because that would be a breach of client confidentiality.”

Fives prickled. “And now the war’s over and we’re all friends again? That and or I take it they never found anything?”

“There never was anything.” Veera said pointedly.

“Well, not that they could prove,” he teased.

“You’d better be bloody joking!”

“Mesh’la, I tease you too cruelly.” He picked up the wine bottle and topped up her glass as if a peace offering. She took a sip and continued.

“After Wolffe caught the Homeworld guy, I think they were a bit embarrassed so they stepped up their surveillance and finally caught one of the others. He admitted they’d been hired by someone off-world to harass me, there was nothing more to it.” And with one hand on her heart and the other raised to swear an oath, she added, “And that’s the truth!”

Fives lowered his eyes and bowed his head in acknowledgement of her declaration.

“Now, I want to know what happened to you,” she blurted out.

Fives lent back in his chair with his glass of wine and pulled a platter nearer for easier pickings. “Well, we flew out the morning after our date and I got commed to present to the captain’s office. Had to stand to attention whilst this Homeworld officer strutted up and down with his chest puffed out, telling me I’d been seen at your place. He asked me how long I’d known you, where and how did we meet, where had we been, what did we do there, was ours a romantic relationship and if so, how romantic? Surprised he didn’t ask for the length of my cock.”

Veera choked on her wine and tried to scold him but Fives just laughed for having caught her off guard, “Oh they all gag, cyar’rika.”

She eyed him with a look of disbelief, “Fives, you are shameless!”

He laughed some more, then confessed, “Sorry, had to let off steam, I still get angry at the thought of that shebs’palon.”

Veera gathered herself then added her two credits worth, “I’m surprisedyoudidn’t volunteer the information.”

“Oh but I told them in my RTL interview.”

“Fives!” she shook her head..

“Which is clearly why they matched us up!” he said with a grin that implied he was either happy or done something wrong, probably both.

“Fives!!!”

Veera buried her head in her hands.

“Ok, I’ll behave. Back to my interrogation. The best bit was when he asked me, as if he were springing it on me, if I knew you were from Raxus? His face was priceless when I said you’d told me upfront and let me read your court documents. That pleasure however was short lived. He screamed at me that they were fakes you used to trick people –”

“What?”

“–and that known Raxian operatives had been seen going to your flat so you clearly were up to no good. I was lucky not to be getting charged with fraternisation but if I did anything after his dressing down, I’d get treason!”

Veera stared at him wide-eyed and silently contemplated the unpleasantness of Fives’ encounter. “I knew from Wolffe they were saying entrapment but didn’t realise they threatened you with treason. That’s horrible!”

“It was downright scary. He then told me to visit the doxies if I wanted company, I was ropable.”

“I’m sorry Fives. I really shouldn’t have agreed to that date.”

“Oh cyar’rika, I understand I’m impossible to resist,”

“Oh Fives,” Veera rubbed her forehead, “You got the impossible bit right,” she teased, “and for the record, my documents aren’t fake!” Veera said indignantly.

“Oh I know. I was having a heart to heart with Skywalker a month later, he put in a request for evidence so I could get a copy from the courts which I read in full.”

“Oh! You did your research…. I’m impressed, in a back-handed compliment kinda way.”

“I wanted to get to the truth! Then all I wanted was to let you know I hadn’t ghosted you but I couldn’t work out how. Then, time just…” he shrugged, looked away and went back to leaning on the table.

Fives’ honesty and honey eyes had warmed Veera as he’d told her his story. She felt guilt for what he’d been through, getting threatened by Homeworld.

“I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had ghosted me,” she finally said, “I gave you the notes to read for a reason. Wolffe told me what happened about two weeks after you deployed, said he didn’t want me thinking the worst of you.” She paused and inhaled deeply, “I was livid to learn I couldn’t see you again or explain anything.”

Silence followed as the two looked at each other with small expressions of hopelessness over the past. Then Fives swiftly moved in, cupping her face with both hands and kissed her. Veera found herself feeling a little surprised by his urgency but a cosiness soon took over and she felt suspended in time. His lips soft, his nose pressing into her cheek, warm. He moved gently, savouring the moment, making her feel she was going to melt entirely and needed to grasp onto him for dear life wherever her hands landed, as if that was going to save her from being rendered into a liquid on the floor. He pulled back to breathe but she kept her eyes closed, she didn’t want the feeling to evaporate.

“So you felt the same as me?”

He delicately pressed his forehead to hers as he spoke and Veera could barely whisper, “I did.”

She could clearly hear his breathing over the music.

“And now?” he asked.

“I’m so grateful for a second chance.”

He pushed his chair back a little further out of the light and pulled her up to straddle him. They sat compressing themselves together, behaving the best they could in a public space yet wanting to feel everything of the other, their kisses deep and sensuous.

Eventually they pulled back before things got out of hand but remained as seated, not breaking the hold their eyes had on each other for a long time, no words needing to be spoken. Then Veera laid against his chest and he gently held her. Feeling each other’s warmth they relished in the stillness.

“I want to take you home now,” he whispered.

“I want that too…but it’s rude to ditch our friends. Besides,” she said, sitting back up to look at him, “the wait will make it a thousand times sweeter.” She ran her hands through his hair and he looked at her as if to say you’re playing a dangerous game.

They were all flushed as they righted themselves back in their seats then topped up their glasses, sharing tidbits with each other from their platters.

But curiosity got the better of Fives, “Still can’t believe Wolffe was able to stay. Did you and he ever ….get together?”

Veera was caught totally off-guard.

“That look is admission enough,” he said with a faint, understanding smile. “Always thought he was keen on you.”

“How?”

“You didn’t see him looking down at us every five seconds at 79’s?”

Veera shook her head.

“Oh he was keeping an eye on us.”

Veera looked down at the table.

“I’m pissed he got to stay on while I got banished.”

“Well it’s not like he had any say in the matter, Homeworld ultimately made the decision and ordered him.”

Fives sat silently, finally nodding and screwing up his nose he drawled under his breath, “Still think Fox is a crafty bastard.” He poured himself another glass.

“Pour me one too please….and actually, they say it’s not proper to talk about an ex on a first date. Can we please not talk about Wolffe anymore, not today.

“Veera, forgive me, because I want to believe it was all unintended and we got caught up in the crossfire of war but because of you, I was threatened with charges of fraternisation and treason. That’s a hot date with a firing squad! It also tarnished my reputation with my seniors. I am well aware standard first date protocol means we discuss hobbies, art galleries and preferred pets but really, we are not on our first date and we have history, so I think I deserve some background knowledge if I’m to entertain this match-up any further.  The One-o-Fourth extracted us from our mission. He knew I’d lost Echo and he even told me he got the same orders as me so I’m very pissed to learn that wasn’t true and he got to stay with you. Dammit, we’d even been in 79’s together drinking in Echo’s memory and you knew nothing?”

Veera couldn’t tell if it were nausea or hurt she was feeling but she couldn’t have looked good because it made Fives

swiftly work to make amends.

“Mesh’la, I’m sorry, I’m sorry –“

“If you’re feeling pissed,” said Veera firmly, “I get it….but piss on Homeworld, not Wolffe. You know what I think? I think he chose not to tell me because he knew I was already very upset and the news of Echo would’ve crushed me. He also felt that if we didn’t talk of military matters, they’d have no evidence they could twist against me, or all three us for that matter. He knew I like you. He also knew I liked him but I was a mess. Yes, I was sweet on him before I met you but thought I’d read him all wrong. You asked me out first. If it’s any consolation, we both felt guilt that he got to stay and that I’d dated you and that you were taken out of my hands before the natural flow of things could take their course. Those issues gnawed at us constantly.”

Fives went quiet. He sat for a long while with his arms crossed, his thumb stroking his bottom lip. The sound of Veera sniffing snapped him out of his reflections.  She was dabbing her eyes and wiping her hands on her skirt when he took them in his and rested them on his knees.

“Forgive me, please? I don’t want any more sadness or hurt. I’m sorry.” He started sniffling himself. “Look, I can lay all my cards on the table and tell you about my exes and exploits but I went to RTL to find something serious. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would lead to a second chance with you! You knocked me out the park when I met you at 79’s. Then we dated and I thought wow, this girl’s unbelievable! No one since has ever made me laugh like you did, or made me think of them in awe. I’m so sorry I upset you.” He sniffed again and swallowed hard. The look of pleading on his face too much for Veera.

“Come here you,” she said and gently drew him towards her.

They kissed, slowly, simply, sniffled a bit in between then rested their foreheads together.

“I’m sorry too,” she said.

After a moment of regaining their calm she asked him, “Do you think they matched us cause they knew we needed to get this off our chests or cause we actually do match?”

Fives huffed a little laugh, “I’d like to think both.”

“You’re such a diplomat.”

Fives threw his head back laughing, “Me, a diplomat? Cyar’rika, you’ve been drinking,” he winked. “Oh I hope we don’t have to wait too much longer for the kids, I want to go home.”

The twinkle in his eye made Veera blush.

“You were going to take me out dancing, remember?”

“Hmm, fond memories of the night we met, another thing I couldn’t forget about you.”

Veera laughed, “You know the saying about dancing?”

Fives shook his head.

“The vertical expression of a horizontal desire, legalised by music.”

“Young lady!” he beamed.

“Come on hazard stripes! Let’s dance.”

“Hazard stripes? Oh  girl…you’ve been warned!”

Fives and Veera’ companions eventually emerged from their speed dating. Having agreed to look for them together, they finally spotted them on the dance floor but they weren’t dancing, rather leaning against a pillar, enfolded in each other’s arms.

“I’ve never seen him so….peaceful,” said one of the clones.

“Yeah, especially not with a lady!” another added.

Veera’s colleague asked them what they meant.

“Well, he’s usually so animated, like flirty and joshing with them –“

“Or all over them!”

The boys laughed heartily.

Veera’s colleague however looked at them, enamoured. “Well, all I can say is there must be something to this RTL Matchmaking lot cause look at them both, that’s pure tenderness right there. Think I might sign myself up.”

“Hey, what for?” exclaimed the first clone, “You’ve just met me!”

“Uh, uh, cheeky! I’ve just met all three of you. The agency would’ve narrowed it down to one for me, saving me a load of grief. Anyway, let’s go get a drink, we might be here a while.”

#tcw matchmaking au #clone matchmaking au #501st Legion #reader request #AO3 link #prompt response

[cantsayidont]

As much as I still enjoy the older comics and books, my feelings about modern STAR WARS media are at best mixed. Many of the recent streaming shows (with the notable exception of ANDOR) have been especially dire, but to my mind, the rot set in long before that.

There have been a lot of terrible SW tie-ins over the years (the old Bantam novels were so bad that after a while I stopped even bothering to get them from the library), but I'm particularly antipathetic to THE CLONE WARS, which is now emerging as the core text of the new SW universe. (I refer here to the 2008 animated series, not the earlier Genndy Tartakovsky shorts, which I hated and found pointless, but were at least easy to ignore.)

One of the riskiest and most potentially troublesome things a spinoff or tie-in project can do is to go to war with its own source material. This is something that even STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE ended up struggling with, despite that show's strengths; the writers couldn't hide their annoyance with some of the basic premises of the TNG-era future (like the Federation's abandonment of money), which at times became not so much a critique as an expression of writing staff frustration with dramatic rules they didn't make but weren't empowered to change.

That tension is also at the core of THE CLONE WARS, which is driven by an ill-disguised disdain for the SW prequel films the cartoon is ostensibly supposed to bridge. TCW, particularly in the early seasons where Lucas was still directly involved, takes exaggerated care to remain faithful to the details of the prequel storyline (for instance, the assertion in REVENGE OF THE SITH that Obi-Wan Kenobi has never previously met General Grievous face-to-face). However, it also plainly wants to redo the prequels, making their story and characters into something more like what the show's creators would've preferred to see in the first place. (Some of that revisionism may have come from Lucas himself, but it's continued in substantially similar ways since Lucasfilm was swallowed by the Mouse.) It's not hard to see where the creators of TCW are coming from, because the prequels were distinctly disappointing in many respects, from their appalling racism and antisemitic caricatures to their hilariously clunky dialogue to the inept handling of the Anakin-Padme romance. However, in the show's zeal to fix what it sees as the films' flaws, THE CLONE WARS also seeks to dismantle their thematic integrity.

Where Lucas might have taken the SW prequel trilogy if 9/11 and the subsequent wars in Afghanistan and Iraq hadn't occurred is anyone's guess, but ATTACK OF THE CLONES and REVENGE OF THE SITH are plainly constructed as a surprisingly angry critique of the politics of the Wubbya era and the invasion of Iraq: The Jedi and the Republic are tricked into going to war on false pretenses, engaging in a conflict whose real purpose is to undermine the foundations of republican government and bring about the rise of a fascist dictatorship. By the end of ATTACK OF THE CLONES, where the war begins, the heroes have already lost: The military they're building is unmistakably an early iteration of the Imperial war machine seen in the original films, and the clone troopers are or will shortly become stormtroopers. Aside from being doomed by the narrative, Anakin Skywalker in Episodes 2 and 3 is a moral and emotional wreck: an immature, unstable young soldier — trained (and used) by an institution with no regard for his well-being that repeatedly urges him to reject normal human connections in favor of acetic martial purity — whose volatility and hazy grasp of right and wrong make him a dangerous, genocidal monster with no compunctions about murdering children in his paranoia and rage. None of the other prequel characters is remotely sympathetic: Obi-Wan Kenobi is a contemptible fool whose stubborn incuriousness (even when Dooku tells him quite directly what's really going on) and blind faith in the institutions he serves contribute materially to both the moral collapse of his apprentice and the ultimate triumph of interstellar fascism. Yoda is by the rules of our world a war criminal, whose eventual response to his failure to defeat Palpatine in single combat is to run away and make the brutal rise of the Empire everybody else's problem. Padme, meanwhile, is Anakin's enabler and apologist (she's an accessory after the fact to an explicit act of genocide, and she marries him anyway!) before becoming another of his victims. That's harrowing stuff, for all its clumsiness of execution, and, Lucas being Lucas, it's not at all subtle.

The central project of THE CLONE WARS is a cowardly obfuscation of the admittedly extreme grimness of the prequel films. It makes Anakin stable and competent, a capable if somewhat reckless leader who's a far cry from his deranged, tantrum-throwing live-action counterpart, a compassionate mentor with his own adorable teenage apprentice rather than a child-murdering fascist lunatic. The show also works overtime to rehabilitate Obi-Wan, Padme, and Yoda (who really doesn't deserve it). More alarmingly than that, TCW seeks to legitimize what the live-action films present as an unequivocally phony war, and blunt the edges of the prequels' original critique. In the films, the clones embody a military-industrial complex that's fundamentally inimical to the survival of justice or democracy — manufactured soldiers (and, pointedly, men of color) who are considered disposable war materiel even by the Jedi, and who are conditioned to follow any order delivered in a reasonably authoritative tone of voice. THE CLONE WARS wants desperately to reassure you that the clones are actually good guys (which it seeks to accomplish in part by making them white), noble and heroic true friends of our Jedi heroes who would obey them even if they didn't have to, and whose eventual heel turn has to be mechanically coerced. Moreover, TCW and its repulsive spinoff, THE BAD BATCH, take pains to distance the clones from the stormtroopers of the original films, qualitatively, morally, and ethically. Of course they're not stormtroopers who carry out massacres without question (even though we see them do just that in REVENGE OF THE SITH and in flashbacks to that period), they're Good Soldiers and heroes! They're victims of the evil space-wizard, just like the Jedi children and innocent people we watched them slaughter, and most of them feel terrible about it! The clones can't be bad guys, because then people wouldn't want to buy their toys. It's as disingenuous and cynical as the live-action films were dark, and it's completely nonsensical within the narrative bounds Lucas originally set out.

I'm not very fond of the prequels, which were not what I would have expected or wanted to see, and I can't blame Lucasfilm people for feeling similarly. However, I think that some creative levers really only go one way: You can take something simplistic and make it complex, or take something that's pretty black and white and introduce many shades of gray, but going the other way rarely works, and often feels insulting to boot. I did see the prequels, even though I didn't enjoy them very much, and while I don't begrudge anyone for wanting something lighter and less doomstruck, trying to tell me those movies were about something different than they obviously were has an "Ignore your lying eyes" vibe that I'm always going to find suspect.

#movies #animation #star wars #this is a clone wars hate blog #i don't dislike ahsoka in the cartoons #but as soon as she was introduced my thought was #“great -- a teenage apprentice for anakin to eventually murder” #and indeed the only reason she survives her confrontation with vader #is that ezra resorts to time travel to save her at the last minute #live-action ahsoka is weirdly amoral #and has no dramatic direction worth mentioning

[marinersubmariner]

I finished Jedi Survivor, gotta blab about it!

SPOILER SPACE

BODE?!??!??!? I kept thinking he was gonna die, especially in the lead-up to the final Dagan fight—they gave him so many hallmarks of a tragic death that I never suspected a classic video game companion betrayal (one of my favorite things!!!)! So that twist threw me for a LOOP, not just the betrayal but then the reveal that HE WAS A JEDI TOO WHAAAATTTTTT!!??!?!?! Absolutely bananas.

It's funny because Dagan's death felt pretty anticlimactic, and I knew the game wasn't over yet so I was like… what else is there? And I still couldn't have anticipated how OH SHIT the "what else" part could be.

Because then it's PLAYABLE CERE!!!! Which was so fun because she felt SO powerful to play as, and the whole time I was reeling about the betrayal and why am I Cere now what the fuck what the fuck what the fuccckkkkk. And then as soon as the door opened on Vader I instantly got teary-eyed because I knew exactly how that was gonna end. Of COURSE you're out-of-left-field playing as Cere for her last stand. ;___; Of COURSE they couldn't include Vader just for the player to narrowly escape again. ;___; Cere wasn't even my favorite character and she felt so distant in this game, but having her death take place amidst the destruction of the archive that she'd been building that whole time, plus HER LAST WORD BEING "TRILLA," plus BEING MURDERED BY VADER EXACTLY LIKE TRILLA... way to make it as painful as it could possibly be!!!!!! I gotta say, not only do these games make Vader VERY scary, they also make me hate him more than ever. FUCK YOOOOUUU MURDER MACHINE

I am shocked they went all-in on Cal/Merrin just because… romance in Star Wars????? Since when??? Hahahahaaaa…….. I kid, I kid, we have fun. I love them. Although my main inclination in the first game was Cal/Trilla (it was immediately after TROS and the extreme Reylo of it got to me!!) and somewhere along the way I had gotten the impression that Merrin was a lesbian (or maybe that's just the default Nightsister vibe). But truly I consider everyone in SW to be bi/pan/ace/anything but fully straight, so honestly, whatever. Related side note: I was really pleasantly surprised by the directness about how many supporting characters here were gay!

I LOVED the first kiss followed by the totally bonkers portal-jumping battle, that was such cool teamwork. And the end of the game was sooooo saaaad but thankfully they both lived and so now I'm real emo about the orphan Jedi and the orphan witch and how far they've come since she tried to kill him. 😭

Backtracking a bit I REALLY enjoyed Dagan getting dumped out of the bacta tank, getting pissed off, and IMMEDIATELY bleeding his crystal. It was very ooooohhh SHIT dude making some major life decisions here!! So cool! So dramatic! Escalated so quickly! I'm pleased that I did end up enjoying Dagan a decent amount, because going into this I was annoyed by a) not liking Cody Fern's face and b) not liking the High Republic aesthetic.

Honestly I was very ready to dislike both Dagan and Bode because I was really not happy with the previews showing they added a bunch of dudes while hiding Merrin and Cere, and Trilla being dead…… blugh. But thankfully trailers are misleading and there was plenty of Merrin. (and her surprise entrance was THRILLLINNGGGG) And the dudes were alright and they wound up dead anyway. So! …Hm.

IT WAS SO SAD. I'M SO SAD. The "Ghost Star" lullaby was so pretty and haunting and it messed me up BAD, because of course I'm not just thinking of this game I'm thinking of all my dead Star Wars friends (and obvs one ghost in particular…….. sob). There are so many. Star Wars is littered with corpses. AND IT'S SO SAD.

Cal using the dark side was craazzzyyyyyy and when the first prompt for it came on screen I was like "uh oh!!!! I don't wanna." Wild how becoming more powerful in a video game can be so fun and so upsetting at the same time. I did actually die in the final fight with Bode because I refused to tap into the dark side when prompted, lol. I was like "maybe if I don't do it something different will happen!" Haha, nope! USE THE DARK SIDE OR DIE. Which is an interesting moral quandary for Star Wars, because if the dark side is always more powerful 100% of the time, and there are certain situations where it's either fight a dark side opponent or die… what does the Force really want you to do? Stick to the light side and be defeated? Is the ultimate end goal of the Force for everything to die and become one with it? AH JEEZ

Part of me expected Tanalorr to not work out in the end, because "magical top secret planet where we can hide and be safe forever" is obviously too good to be true. But I also think every pre-OT story is always having to find an out for why these characters weren't around for the OT, so in that sense of course Tanalorr had to work out! It's the perfect loophole for this time period! It just felt like every story beat was pointing to the dream of Tanalorr being too much of a corrupting influence—Dagan lost his arm, Santari, and then his life because he refused to let go, and then Bode did the same, and I thought it would come down to Cal also facing that dark path and being forced to give up the dream, like by having to choose between Merrin and Tanalorr. In Grail quests you always have to give up the Grail! But no, now they're really gonna live in the ethereal weird forbidden promised land. FEELS CREEPY BUT OKAY

On the one hand I do kind of wish there had been more planets to explore—it felt strange for the journey to be less expansive than Fallen Order. But there was still so much to do on Koboh and they had some cool locations in there nonetheless. I'm just greedy for ~*~galactic exploration~*~! Anyway they made up for it with the strong story, because I think the plot and character work in this one were even better than Fallen Order.

I'm not sure how to piece it all together but I liked the small late-game talk of Vader and the Inquisitorius acting outside of regular Imperial command, when you're undercover and you get the scoop that there's a rivalry with the ISB and that the Jedha attack that happened was not the Jedha attack that was planned. Empire/Sith infighting, Vader vs. Tarkin and Krennic, how does stifled ISB employee Dedra Meero fit into all this, hm hm hm much to think about. Bode was a former Jedi being used by the Empire but he wasn't an Inquisitor—it was the same thing in the end but the particular type of tragedy was different. Wizards in the Empire but the Empire hates wizards, which type of leash are they gonna put you on and who's actually holding the leash?

Fav saloon regulars: TURGLE, of course I knew everybody loved Turgle, what a goober, A+, amazing frog; Caij, because apparently it's a biological imperative that all Nautolans are cool as hell; best bartender Monk; and I particularly enjoyed all the conversations with Tulakt and Moran.

Of course I was thrilled when I first encountered Skoova, his little hover fishing schooner was the BEST. Just an absolutely stellar amount of funky alien dudes in this game.

The powerful heavy swings that the crossguard stance uses…… hehehehehehehehehe. Where did they get that idea I wonder!!!!!! The only thing is that I don't like how small and thin the High Republic-style quillons are, so the aesthetic isn't as satisfying and proportional as Kylo's saber. You gotta beef up those crossguards fellas!

I didn't know that there was an interim story to explain why Greez has a prosthetic arm now, so I was like "did I really forget THAT MUCH of Fallen Order?" Even I can't keep up with all these Star Wars! I liked Greez a lot in the first game (MY PLANT GUY!!!!) but I really loved him even more in this one—he seemed much softer than I remember with his devotion to Cal and their whole family unit. And his braided hair of course delighted me.

And speaking of delightful new hair: Merrin's haircut! I LOVE HER SO MUCH. They gave her so much great deadpan humor while also enhancing her emotional maturity, so not only is she still super cool she's also soft and nice when it's called for, and I'M SO GLAD SHE DIDN'T DIE.

Kata is extremely cute and I'm already dreading her looming apprenticeship and the long-term outcome of who makes it to the next generation. I'm always having to remind myself of the bigger picture that Cal is older than Luke. And I certainly can't handle the thought of old Cal or dead Cal, but when you add kids into the mix, that's where this is headed!!!!!!

I took so many goddamn screencaps I'm probably only gonna post a minuscule fraction of them, but there were so many good aesthetic things and fun details to look at. And honestly part of my excessive snapping away involved lofty notions of using things as fanart reference. I LOVED all the new hair and wardrobe options because I absolutely just used Cal for Ben Solo AU cosplay. 🤪😎🤩✌️💀 The windswept hair is so good!!!! I mean I mainly chose it to look like Ben but it also just looked really good on Cal, to the point where it's hard to see him with short hair anymore, although I really should try out some of the goofier looks. (so many facial hair options that I hate and look stupid on precious ginger babyface!!!)

I just get soooooo excited about being able to explore and take pictures inside a Star Wars thing, and play dress-up and pick hairstyles and decorate and do all that silly life sim stuff but in space! Games capture such a unique experience of discovering worldbuilding minutiae, and I love having the ability to just look at things and take in the environment at your own pace, it makes me so happy. Even the goofy LEGO game gave me that feeling. It's just so nice! I love wandering! Observing! Interacting! Running my little guys around! Having my own experience that can't be easily ruined by a shitty story!

It's made me reminisce about playable Kylo and Rey in Battlefront and how I wish you could combine them with the exploration/story/gameplay style of the Jedi games and the [nearest approximation of] post-canon Ben Solo of the LEGO game, and THAT would probably be my ideal Star War (outside of, you know, a new movie that checks off every single item on my impossible wish list hahahaaagdhagdsf). Dress them up and customize their lightsabers and their home base and their spaceship and give them a droid friend and a garden and take them on new adventures on new planets… The Dream 😭

I actually started ruminating on whether I can do screencap mashups of Battlefront character models in Survivor outfits/environments, because I can't do mods, I am just a simple photoshopper and console gamer, but I want to pretend!!!!!! The problem is I don’t really like the Battlefront faces because they all look dead in the eyes. :/ The idea I settled on is that I might do some straight-up redraws instead. (WE'LL SEE. But the fact that I'm even mentioning this should tell you how completely lost in the sauce I am.) I briefly went looking and of course people have made Ben Solo mods for Survivor, but what you really gotta do is graft Cal's customization options onto Bode's body type or else it doesn't look right. Y'KNOW?!?? Size… matters……… I'm so sorry Yoda

Anyway!!!!!! Excellent gaming experience despite being terrible at Jedi parkour! Now back to tending my garden, hunting down post-game Force echoes, and rearranging Cal's wardrobe

#star wars #jedi survivor #sw meta #time once again for another round of star wars word vomit #will i find a way to make it about benjamin organa solo? you bet!! #coincidentally posting this while the reylos are melting down on twitter 🙃 every day i am in pain

[amikoroyaiart]

Hey, it's been a while.

I heard that you finished playing Jedi Survivor.

Awesome!! 😃

Overall, what did you think of it? As for me, I thought it was excellent, and I hope we get a third game in the future 🙂

Oh I have a lot of thoughts about this game, I will put them under cut since they will contain major spoilers :D

Graphics were amazing. I was so excited when I saw Coruscant. It's beautiful, I keep going back to that planet and keep imagining Corries there. Tanalorr was beautiful as well.

When it comes to gameplay I have a love-hate relationship with it. I love all the new fighting styles but all the acrobatics and jumping made my hands sweat so much. I don't think I've ever swear as much as I did while I was playing Survivor XD but it's just me struggling with these types of adventures games. Fighting was awesome. While I love all the new quests, I was a little bit overwhelmed with stuff to do on the planets. At some point I had to force myself to stop doing side quests and finally progress the plot because people were spoiling the game everywhere while I was still in the beginning of the plot... (I wish some people understood that not everyone can finish a big game as this one during one weekend...)

As for the story, I liked it, I was living for all the High Republic bits. I kinda wish there was more of it. Overall the plot was an emotional rollercoaster and I cried like a baby during the last hours. Cere's death was tragic, especially when she called Trilla in her last words, Bode's betrayal hurt me so much.

Speaking of Bode, such an amazing character. I only wish his end was different. While I stared being wary of him, I did not expect him to be a Jedi. I love the bromance between Cal and him (or even romance, I already read some fics with them haha) and I understood Bode's point of view and why he did things he did. But I feel like the end was a little bit too extra. I get that we needed a villain but I wish Cal and Bode came to an agreement. I cried like a baby when I found the echo of Bode an his daughter singing the Ghost lullaby. I really wished them the best.

As for the romance between Cal and Merrin I still have mixed feelings. It's just that I see their banter more as siblings' banter rather than flirting but I am happy for the people who ship them! <3

I think that's it. I am still trying to digest the story as I only finished it yesterday and there is still so many things to discover for me. It's a neat game, maybe not always for me when it comes to gameplay but I have my fingers crossed for the third part.

[semi-imaginary-place]

politics of a fe3h golden ending

All the endings have a united Fodlan because the devs have a boner for absolute monarchies and Romance of the Three Kingdoms which ends in unification. Realistically speaking unification isn't necessarily better. I mean compare Europe with it's dozens of tiny countries vs. idk China or India which have many different cultures and ethnicities within them, neither system is inherently worse but each has it's own issues. Fodlan could do fine with 3 major nations just as it could do fine as 1 nation, what matters is how it's done. What's more important are the systems of governance, justice systems, resource management, stability, and prosperity of the continent.

So I think monarchies just like all totalitarian regimes are unjust and just bad ways to do government and I like democracy and republics, however FE3H loves monarchies so there's the question of a golden ending for me vs for the characters in universe.

Byleth makes a better advisor than a Leader, they lack the vision to truly rule well, but they are both smart, practical, and efficient and would be a good policy editor. In a Unified Fodlan the ideal leader out of the cast would be Edelgard and Claude, a dual leadership is unlikely but these two balance each other out well that the ideal situation is where they can influence each other no matter who officially has the higher position. Dimitri needs to be put out to pasture, send him to a farm up north, he's unsuited to leadership.

I think a good transitional government would be if instead of heads of nobles ruling a region (Gloucester, Charon, Aegir, etc.), each region has a governor which is legally a non-hereditary position. Realistically this means many of the nobles stay in power for this generation so they aren't likely to revolt but it lays the foundations for a less nepotism and hereditary power. The nobles can keep their styles (Duke, Count, etc.) but these titles no longer have meaning like the style/title doesn't automatically come with a territory or Cabinet position. On a national level a transitional government style could be like the Leicester Roundtable where policy is decided by council vote and and council seats are representative of regions.

Without Unification the House Leaders are likely to become national leaders. Edelgard is quite popular is Adrestia and Faerghus is a death cult that loves monarchies and they almost all buy into divine right of kings so left to their own devices they'd choose Dimitri. Leicester in this way is more progressive and independent and could survive without Claude. As shown in the CF, AM, and VW endings each leader does eventually make good reforms especially in Adrestia and Leicester, but they all could do fine as long as they can maintain diplomacy and not have Edelgard sent the continent into war again. The path to democracy and republic is clearest in Adrestia and Leicester. Edelgard during the game takes several measures to break up the power of the nobility and more equally distribute power, prioritizing merit over lineage. The Leicester Alliance is already the closest thing to a republic in Fodlan so it only needs minor adjustments to increase enfranchisement, increasing council positions and making them by election instead of hereditary. Faerghus need work but Dimitri at least seems open to the idea of giving non-nobles more rights and power.

There's also the interesting question of who counts as Fodlan and what to do about them. Everyone agrees that Adrestia, Faerghus, and Leicester count but what about Duscar, Sreng, outlying regions like Hapi's hometown or Balthus's mom's hometown? Fodlan seems to be both a culture and a continent but the venn diagram while mostly overlapping isn't a perfect circle.

Oh yeah and the Church! The only thing I hate more than monarchy is theocracy (Why SS! why are you so well written but so cringe politically!!). Ideally the power of the Church should be checked and rendered politically impotent. During the game the king and emperor of Adrestia and Faerghus derive authority from the Church, but Church and state should be decoupled and authority should ideally be derived from the People. I don't think the Church of Seiros needs to be demolished or made illegal but it shouldn't be a political institution. So religious institutions should be regulated. I agree with Claude, Rhea needs to go.

#fe3h

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

What are some of your favorite games of all time?

This is a great question, more questions about video games, less questions where people make up things I never said and demand I defend those positions, XD

Anyway, here's a short list:

Pathfinder: Kingmaker. The best isometric RPG ever made, in my opinion.

Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes. The best version of one of the best games ever made.

Mass Effect Trilogy. Yeah the third one shit the bed in a lot of ways, but I still enjoy the series as a whole. Playing a game series where your choices carried over from one game to the next was groundbreaking in the 2000s, and I always enjoyed my time with these games. Especially rereleased in the legendary edition.

Resident Evil 2, Original and Remake. My favorite Resident Evil game of all time. Great game, great story, great characters.

Resident Evil 4, original and remake. Second favorite Resident Evil game. Also, my husband's favorite game ever. I love seeing him get excited over it, XD

Suikoden 2. Great gameplay, great story, best game in the series.

Tales of Zesteria. Mikleo my beloved!

Jaws (NES). Yes, it's bad. Yes, it's short. No, I don't care. This was one of the first games I ever owned, and me and my dad used to play it together when I was very little. I have a lot of fond memories of trying to figure out how to beat the game with him. I still remember how excited we were when we started to figure out the gameplay loop for the very first time.

Mortal Kombat 2. The game that introduced me to the series, and still one of my old favorites. I still play and love MK to this day because of it.

Kingdom Hearts, whole series. I can't really pick one game, because they're all both really, really good and really, really bad, XD. But I love the story and the characters, and I've enjoyed each of them in different ways. But if I had to pick just one, I'd probably pick 2.

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic. Still the best Star Wars game ever made. Still one of the best western RPGs ever made. The plot twist is still one of my favorite moments in video game history.

Max Payne 2. Ugh, so good. Great storytelling, fun gameplay. Took everything great about Max Payne 1 and did it better. RIP James McCaffrey.

MegaMan Battle Network, whole series. Probably the best reimagining of a classic IP I've ever seen, from the old days when "reimagined" didn't mean "vandalized". I was several years older than him when the first game came out, but in a lot of ways I grew up with Lan and his friends, and these games will always have a special place in my heart.

Jade Empire. Another great BioWare western RPG. Great setting, good story, unique characters, and really good and unique-for-the-time combat.

Soul Nomad and the World Eaters. I don't even know why I like this game so much, but I do, lol. They should have given the male PC a romance ending with Gig, though >_<

Pokemon Red and Blue. Pure nostalgia entry, but even though there are a lot of boring Gen 1 haters, to be a 10 year old kid when the original US Pokemon craze was at its peak was something special, and the games and the Pokemon will always be cherished in this house. Gen 1 supremacy, noobs!

Batman Arkham Asylum. You have no idea what it was like growing up a Batman fan and a video game fan in the years before Arkham Asylum. Every Batman game was terrible. It was a running joke how no one could do a good Batman game. Hell, half the word of mouth for AA was "did you hear someone's trying to make a good Batman game?" That they got many of the incredible voices from Batman the Animated Series back was even better. RIP Kevin Conroy and Arleen Sorkin. (And fuck Mark Hamill)

Legacy of Kain, whole series. Aside from Metal Gear Solid, this series is the definitive master class on video game storytelling and voice acting. I love the plot, I love the characters, I love everything. I hate how the ball was dropped so hard after Defiance, because that game set up an amazing follow up that just...never happened. It was such a sad fall from grace, because in the early 2000s this was the AAA game series. Everyone loved it. Everyone was desperate for the next game. And then it just kind of fizzled out after a few missteps and developer woes. And it died a quiet death in a proto-live service multiplayer game that no one wanted and even fewer people played. And while the tragedy is appropriate to the Gothic setting, I'm still hoping against hope for a faithful remake of the first games that spurs the original developers to finally finish the series the way it always deserved.

Honorable Mention: Final Fantasy 8. Gonna be honest here, 70% of my love for this game comes from fanfiction, lol. I played the game when I was a kid, and didn't really like it. It was weird and looked bad (I played it long after I'd gotten used to the "modern" graphics of the PS2 generation) and even with a Codebreaker and cheats the final boss was super frustrating. But there's some really great FF8 fanfic out there. Stuff I reread every few years. And it's given me a phantom nostalgia for the game.

[literary-illuminati]

Books I Read In August

38. When the Tiger Came Down The Mountain by Nghi Vo

I’m an increasingly big fan of Vo’s work. The Empress of Salt and Fortune was good, but honestly didn’t really stick with me nearly as much as this did. 

Part of that is just the increased centrality of the framing device, honestly. I mean first of all I don’t really tend to have much patience for wish-fulfillment characters, but very hard to overstate how much Chih is just living the dream life (and my university indoctrination was thorough enough that the association of the study/preservation/gathering of history and sacredness seems very right and fitting to me. 

Also, I just absolutely adore when the story makes a thing of unreliable narrators. Like, when someone’s telling a story and as the scene’s ending someone else interrupts and goes “You’re telling it all wrong!” and gives a completely different version that’s at least as biased in another direction? Poetry. 

The actual myth with the lesbian romance and the were-tiger warlord and stuff was also a lot of fun don’t get me wrong, but like, would have been a bit forgettable without the framing device stuff around it. 

Anyway, give Chih a tv show. Or at least a half dozen more novellas like this. 

39. Deaf Republic by Ilya Kaminsky

This is the first actual full book of poetry I’ve read….I mean ever, probably, if we’re taking cover to cover. Certainly since I finished high school. So there’s some Culture achieved. 

I was…not especially impressed, if I’m being entirely honest? Or, properly - “We Lived Happily During The War '' and “In A Time of Peace '' were both really affecting, but also I had already read both (posted here on tumblr, actually). They’re what sold me on the book. Everything between them did, well, not really live up to it?

I mean, I’m sure that there’s all manner of genius in craft and stuff that flew right over my head, but it just seemed so focused on being clever with line breaks that it failed to do much else. Like, most of the books on the list have plenty of lines that are more poetic by my (doubtlessly irredeemably philistine) definition than any of the poems that made up the middle of the book. 

40. The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon

I honestly forget where I first heard about this book, but it’s been very vaguely sitting on my mental tbr list for the last few years,and the library happened to have it in, so. 

Anyway, the conceit (an alternate history where WW2 went slightly differently, and also Israel lost in 1947, and through a bunch of political compromises there ended up being an autonomous federal district carved out in Alaska as a temporary national home for the Jewish people - ‘temporary’ meaning expiring on the near year as the novel takes place) is just fascinating, and Chabon had a lot of fun with little offhand references to how different the rest of the world has gotten, too. The fact that everyone speaks Yiddish but with occasional catch phrases and curses called out as being said in American was cute, too.

The story itself was just incredibly, almost painfully noir - genius of a police detective with a ruined marriage, crippling alcoholism, and no future is woken up in the middle of the night because a heroin addict who boards in the same hotel as him was found dead by gunshot, discovers that the victim was the firstborn son of a prominent underworld/religious authority, disowned and ostracized for being gay, through this he stumbles into a sinister conspiracy involving the CIA and the death of his sister. He can’t stop the conspiracy but he might just be able to get justice for the murder, etc, etc. The commitment to the genre is fun,but the late night diners and descriptions of hangovers do begin to get old eventually.

It was also kind of dated, in an interesting way? Like, the Federal government spooks being clean cut bible college boys, all polite and well mannered and sincere Christian Zionists trying to get America into a war to help bring about the End Times, really feels like the sort of thing that only gets written during the Bush Administration. (The single tragic too-good-for-the-world dead heroine addict gay guy and the constant jokes about every less-than-perfectly-feminine woman being mistaken for a lesbian, also somewhat dated).

Anyway, think my vocabulary of random Yiddish words about doubled from reading this, and also many themes about Judaism that I am not even slightly qualified to comment on. 

41: Rogue Protocol by Martha Wells

This books are so fun. And just about perfectly bite-sized, too.

Or tv episode sized, really - each has about the perfect amount of plot for an hour long episode of network tv, I think. Pity they’re basically unadaptable. 

Anyway, not too much to say about this, really, except that Murderbot’s complete inability to understand their own emotions would probably be annoying by now if it wasn’t so funny, and reading it really left a grin on my face. 

Or well, also, I do really enjoy all the little hints that the ‘corporate rim’ is actually kind of a galactic shithole, and Murderbot just treats it like the hegemonic default because its all they know. Certainly nowhere else seems to be nearly as bad about synthetic life (nowhere’s exactly good either, mind, but).

42. Radiance by Catherynne Valente

Oh I adored this book. 

I mean in large part because I’m a big fan of Valente’s prose when she gets all grandiloquent, and also the basic aesthetic of the setting (High Victorian Space Age by way of the Golden Age of Hollywood on the moon) is just utter catnip to me. But the whole epistolary pretension, telling the story through interviews after the fact and remaining scraps of documentary footage and different drafts of a dramatization made a decade latter that are each completely different genres and occasional clips of Severin’s previous films? 

It’s all just showing off to an incredible degree and I’m sure if I didn’t love the book I’d find it unbearably pretentious, but I do, so it’s absolutely great. 

The amateur historian in me was kind of irked by the sort of political stasis - it does the fallout thing where the fin de siecle kind of just continues uninterrupted for another fifty years bit with stranger and more wondrous tech, the apocalypse of the Great War put off by all the virgin lands to colonize and everything just kind of continuing as it was (except for the development of the film industry). But that’s kind of a theme. (Much more minorly, the world only seems to have gotten weird in the late 19th century, except that there are sovereign and internationally significant Seneca and Iroquois nations that get mentioned several times, which kind of require a fundamental change to the nature of the American state significantly before then.) 

The ending also didn’t really land for me - anything about infinite multiverses honestly makes it difficult for me to stay invested, and anything where the fictional setting tries to encompass/include the ‘real world’ almost always loses me instantly (qualified exception for actual portal fantasy, if it’s good. But introducing the real world in the third act has basically only ever worked for me exactly once).

Which is a pity, because aside from those bits the ending could have been designed to appeal to me in a lab. Was so close to perfection. 

43. How to Invent Everything by Ryan North 

I took a three week break in the middle, so this technically took me a full calendar month to read. Library was getting pretty angry. 

Anyway, I think I said it before but I stand by it  - this book would be a significant improvement over the majority of currently existing middle/high school science curriculums. (In the same way that Magic School Bus and Bill Nye taught me more than science class ever did until high school (and even then)). 

Anyway, did pick up a lot of interesting trivia, and the author is apparently the dinosaur comics guy(?), which really shows through in the writing (not ALL the jokes come anywhere close to landing, but the ones that don’t are mostly dad-joke like enough that it’s kind of endearing). 

Also learned the exact limits of my understanding in (in decreasing order of) mechanical engineering, electricity, and computers. (I really do need someone to gently take me by the hand at some point and explain how basic logic gates doing addition and subtraction ends up with, well, tumblr, or triple A video games, or any of it. Like on a mechanical level.) 

Anyway, I should take up sewing. And write the half-essay floating around my head about how horrible mines are and how morally uncomfortable that is.

44. Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers, by Mary Roach

Okay I forget who on here recommended this to me, but thanks! Was a ton of fun, great light morbid summer read.

Roach has a great sort of chatty style, and she does the thing I normally rather dislike working personal anecdotes and descriptions of people she interviewed into everything, but she honestly actually makes it work. 

It came out in the early 2000s and was endearingly dated at times, and vaguely racist in a ‘the strange and exotic Orient!’ way at others, but like generally mostly holds up, I think? 

It’s not nearly as difficult a read as you’d expect given the subject matter (‘the human corpse, how it decays, and things we do to it’, essentially). Or, well,that might me a be mostly a me thing, but I found it a trove of fun trivia, anyway. 

(The one exception being the section on the history of the pursuit of the human head transplant, and specifically the animal experiments done on the subject. That made me more queasy than anything I can remember reading recently, which is I suppose a useful thing to know about myself.)

#monthly tally #book review #analysis/review #when the tiger came down the mountain #nghi vo #Deaf Republic #ilya kaminsky #The Yiddish Policemen's Union #michael chabon #rogue protocol #Murderbot #Martha Wells #Radiance #Catherynne Valente #How to Invent Everything #Ryan North #Stiff #Mary Roach