#especially with school starting back up

[kestrels-and-katydids]

American goldfinch lol

#no promises I’ll keep up with this #especially with school starting back up #kestrel doodles #american goldfinch #avian august #avianaugust2022 #bird art

[yasmeensh]

Story update

I got to write a good chunk of the opening these past two days. Excited to get more work done over March break. And I can't wait to get to writing more about my daughter T-T But she comes in a bit later in the story. Still in the first act, though.

Some more character design doodles:

#personal project #paleolithic #neanderthal #prehistory #I've been SO BUSY #being a school teacher is so difficult.... #especially with 6-7 year olds. why did I end up with the worst age group #they are angels and devils SIMULTANIOUSLY. #I felt my soul leave my body this week. two of the grade 2 boys dropped f bombs. i was SO SHOCKED. this word could never leave my mouth eve #AND THESE BABIES ARE SAYING IT!!??? #but being a school teacher means you also get school breaks soooo MARCH BREAK LETS GO!!! #First thing I did: write more of the story and go ham with splatoon #the big run was so fun. I still couldn't break through to silver.... :'( #I don't know if I'll get much drawing done. I've been in a zelda 2 mood again. Maybe some zelda 2 art #I need to get back to finishing the remaster! I'm on maze island now. #but on the agenda for SURE is to get the opening of the story done and out of the way so I can start writing the REAL fun stuff #It's taking a while. #rambling again :P #oh and ramadan mubarak! tomorrow is the first day of fasting.

[ferretwhomst]

[rocking back and forth in a corner] it's alright that your writing isn't structured as well as you would've liked, it's alright that it feels shaky and unnatural, it's okay that there's plot holes, what matters is that you keep going, get that idea down on paper, and you can go back and expand on it later. yes even if it's bad yes even if it's messy. and even then if it doesn't feel quite right it's still worthy of respect and love and appreciation because you wrote that with your own two hands and the words came from your own mind. perfection is nothing, improvement is everything, there is no such thing as a perfect piece of writing.

#in case anyone is wondering how i'm doing with my fic #UGHGH i keep rereading the parts ive written so far and i'm starting to get annoyed with the first chapter especially #like i feel like more experienced writers than me will find my fic and be like. Wow. This sucks! #its Such a ridiculous fear im sure nobody is gonna think that but STILL #especially for this thing which i'm determined to put so much effort into. like what if i do all that #and then it still turns out to be like. unremarkable #god. GOD. it's FINE writing a fic which is slightly messy will NOT be the death of me #dear lord i hope someday my perfectionism is easier to shut up because it Will Not fuck off right now #theres also smth to be said here about how school messed me up but i cant put my finger on it #feel free to reblog btwwww #i know some of my mutuals are fellow writers and tbh itd be comforting to know that im not alone SDJKKJDVS #although if you do relate im also. patting you on the back bc its a terrible feeling #ferret rambles

[art--harridan]

[Image description: A traditional drawing of Jennifer Check from Jennifer's Body. It's done using oil pastels and coloured pencils. She's depicted in the abandoned pool, wearing her bloodied prom dress. Her face is contorted in a sneer and she's in a stand-offish pose, arms going backwards in anger. The colours used bright and bold, and the background is composed of different greens.]

#jennifer check fanart #jennifer's body fanart #jennifer check #jennifer's body #traditional art #blood #dropped off the face of the earth for a while there lol #been doing tons of traditional stuff tho (especially oil pastels) so i thought id start posting that <3 #am waiting to get a new tablet (with a display :O!!) b4 i properly get back into digital #if anyone has some good cheaper options (not like too cheap but 300 is the limit and 250 is like the softer limit yknow) #anyway love jennifer sm i dressed up as her 4 a school event #and i handmade the heart jacket and the bear charm and shit it was so fun #she is the world amen godbless mwah mwah 💛

[little-pondhead]

does anyone have any tips on how to cheer up a dog? should i give her the world? give her a golden apple? would that help? ╥﹏╥

#pond pets #pondhead rambles #she's been super depressed lately #especially since school started back up for everyone and we're all out of the house again due to work #she has company in the form of our second dog and they get along great #but she's our first fur baby and a quarantine pup #i don't know how to cheer her up #i wanna cry she looks so sad

[xoshepard]

in an ideal world i could just spend all my time studying languages

#i’ve been trying to pick another language to study but man…. #so much to consider #will this language be useful to me? #do i want to go to a country where this language is spoken? #considering finances will i be able to find people locally to practice this language with? #should i wait until i’m back in school and start my studies formally? will i have time? #since korean is grammatically close to japanese and i already passively ingest a lot of korean pop culture i figure it’s a good option #and it would be interesting to be able to study the linguistics of both japanese and korean #and compare and study the history #especially if i do end up looking towards getting a phd #i doubt it tho #and realistically am i gonna go to korea??? i can barely decide whether i want to go back to japan dhskdhdj #tirah talks

[taegularities]

i'm hurt 🥲

#it's been 8 years and i still dream of my best friend who i was in love with in high school #last night was way too much though #like i met him again and replayed all the memories we had.. like dancing around in the rain #and since it was raining i told him to dance with me again even though it felt different #i knew he didn't feel shit for me bc he rejected me back in hs too but when i started talking about another guy he did NOT like it #and he admitted it... questioned me about him and then we kissed ??? #he told me to call him every now n then bc up until now it was always just him calling. like the jealousy was SO OBVIOUS #we kind of get together.. literally my 18 y/o's dream coming true like y'all i was SO IN LOVE WITH HIM LMAO #and then i ask him 'be honest did you feel something for me back in hs' and he just won't answer 🥲 keeps dodging the question... #suggests smth that sounds like a yes but then i woke up 😐 #i just wanted to let this out... idk it's crazy to me that even after all those years i still think of him #like if he approached me today and asked me out i just KNOW i'd give in. even though it's been almost a decade. i would definitely give in #first loves.. especially unrequited ones... leave an impact fr #my dream sounded like a fic i'd like to come true but well that's not how life works #anyways i'm just sentimental lol tdl ?? #personal

[lemonsandmorelemons]

Also. While I'm posting personal stuff. I've pretty much entirely quit vaping. yeah I switched to nic pouches instead but after two years that shit it's so nice and a small victory

#the catalyst was when really when i was out in the field with my professor/mentor/one of my favorite people #and she was like “is that a juul?” and i was just. so embarrassed. vaping feels so embarrasing especially since im almost 30 lmfao #ive been meaning to quit for a while and my boyfriend started using zyns and similar products and i was like okay fine. maybe ill try them #and theyre SO MUCH BETTER and its still nicotine but the cancer chances are so much lower #plus its more discreet and therefore less embarrassing #its all about harm reduction babey #now when people pick up zyns when they dont already use nic because theyre a mental stimulant.... thats bad. please dont its so addictive #i never shojld have started nicotine but im working on reducing the mg content and one day itll be off my back #its also so much nuch harder to quit when i have so much going on with school and work and i cant afford to be pissy and withdrawing ugh #anyways time to go write my neandertal paper

[sysig]

Your Weekly TV Guide

On Monday you can expect:

2:30 PM: Original - Concept art

And Tuesday:

2:30 PM: The Stanley Parable

Wednesday:

2:30 PM: Mob Psycho 100

Thursday:

2:30 PM: MP100

Friday:

2:30 PM: Star Control II - Helix

Saturday:

2:30 PM: Dragon Quest IX

Sunday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)

#Weekly TV Guide #What a balanced week :) Don't worry about next week yet don't even worry about it lol #Lots of silliness this week :D #Some kinda-sorta scratchy in that semi-finished/untoned way #Oh y'know what's funny? It's not gonna show up for a bit down the queue yet but lol #So anyone following me for a while - especially on VLH - knows that I doodle with my favourite .5 mechanical pencil #I've had it since I was in school and it Shows lol it is Old and Worn In #And then when I got my .3s that was all I used for like a year - I draw tiny and they feel Wonderful to draw with #But then I started to miss the richness of lines that my .5 can make so I switched back over #Well. You'll never guess what's happened again lol #I do still use my .3s in my alt notebook but I haven't been drawing much in my alt lately! Talking like one doodles a month! #And as is evident I am not a one and done doodle kind of person lol I like to make like fifteen in a given day #So I guess I've been missing it lol - it's so good for detailwork and soft shapes and shading! Feels so delicate <3 #My shapes have been feeling weird lately - general construction-wise style-wise y'know - and with my .3 it all just flows so nicely #I get so stubborn about Only Using The Correct Tool but like - I have multiple tools for a reason! Pfft #I'm having fun that's the important part haha I'll point some of them out when they post #Oddly enough it's actually kind of hard for even me to tell the difference by sight - it's much more a tactile feedback thing! How strange ♪

[meatriarch]

i find myself often hesitant to really talk about ana in alot of aspects and a big reason for that is being in the same boat as her regarding losing her older sister to a tragic incident ( lost my older half-sister in a car a.ccident ) & then losing my mom ( c.ancer two years ago ). and i know it can come off uncomfortable to some when theres a bit of a blurred line between a characters' experiences vs the writers and thats where that hesitation comes in most days.

however, those losses are so significant in ana's story, in how things go for her throughout her life following the house -- whether its known in my canon if maria's alive but whereabouts unknown still or its confirmed she's dead or w/e -- that it'd be too much a disservice i feel to tiptoe around it like i do so, just a fair warning hopefully that yeah, there'll be times where my experience with losses may bleed into ana & maria & frankly also others a bit. as well, my experience of watching my mom lose her oldest kid may reflect in mama ginny & mama flores, so. fair warning on that too.

#[ 𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘦. ] ── * the yappening. #re-reading kels' post and big agreeing on so much of it. writing in general but especially within genres like horror allows one to really #explore shit on a different level i feel. and a big part of my grief processing when we lost my sister was getting into writing but also #and for me at least it helped alot more than my schools' attempts #to grief-counsel me between classes lmao #its perfectly fine for bits and pieces of ones own experiences to bleed into their characters. theyre a part of you and each #portrayal is so unique to every different person taking a muse up. ive been in a writing funk for a few yrs now but getting back into horro #on here? slowly really starting to help me find my love of it again. and horror truly always seems to be my go-to for that (: #cancer mention / #family death mention / #car accident mention /

[goldensunset]

as an underclassman early morning classes and boring classes were what i detested and feared most of all. now it’s difficult classes and evening classes. my evening class last semester actively made me want to become the joker with how disruptive it was to my schedule. i sure would have never wanted to switch into a 9am yawnnnn history lecture class but at this point that sounds like a dream compared to all the tons of active work outside of class with every single professor trying to scare us to death on the first day. i would rather wake up early every day than suffer the hell that i’m currently slated for. last semester brutalized me so badly it’s not even funny i can’t do the same workload again yet worse i need a relative mental break. i do not have that dog in me. i will be going to my advisor screaming and crying tomorrow asking her to make some changes

#like i will take almost anything i can get into at this point #if it fits into my schedule contributes to my actual credit requirements and does not actively make me upset #sounds perfect #and like i am a night owl. it is known i am a night owl #but i can suffer the pain of waking up early for the greater good #i cannot suffer the pain of multiple classes at once in which the professor acts like we don’t have other work to do #like genuinely the workload hasn’t even started yet this semester we’ve had one day of each class so far #and i am like already in absolute dread and depression. just from how they’re making me feel right off the bat #i need out #i need to fix this i thought it would be ok back in november but i don’t know if the pain of last semester really sunk in until afterwards #during winter break i was like oh yay break :] #now that i’m back at school i’m like Huh. so there’s something i never actually recovered from i guess #like now that i’m here i’m like you’re telling me .. i have to do it again. even worse. #and like i was off for 3.5 weeks. but now i understand no amount of time would have ever been enough to prepare me for this #i don’t care if it means i have more work later i’m ahead on credits #this course i wanna drop isn’t strictly required anyway so like. #why kill myself. especially now of all times #sounds like a problem for a future me who isn’t having a mental episode #peach rambles

[gxlden-angels]

I know there's a common thing of "christians are christians because they haven't actually read the bible" but I actually grew up being told to read the entire bible once a year once I learned to read. I even had a NIV kids' one with a checklist that had you read a certain amount per day. I only ever read my daily amount when forced to by my youth group or family members that did read the whole thing once per year and even then I usually faked it until they left me alone

#and yes my family did believe the conspiracy that NIV bibles were deleting verses since they knew kids would read it over KJV #and they'd grow up reading said bible without learning all of Jesus's miracles or something #turns out #said verses were not missing but put into footnotes since they might not have actually been in the original writings #a lot of my older family dropped out of school p early #so the bible was one of the few things they could readily get and read #and they knew someone would teach them if they couldn't read a part of it #my grandfather was the first to graduate highschool and he was the 13th child out of 14 who lived #my father was first to graduate from college #my mom was the first to finish medical school #so I got super lucky to have family around me that valued education like that #tho they started to get very extreme after that and pushed me towards more and more academic things until I was ready to yeet myself #so reading the bible had a special place in my family both from the fundamentalist standpoint and from an academic standpoint #they were poor black folk in rural NJ GA and FL so #not much to do but have babies do manual labor and go to church especially back then #for a while my family's churches were even anti-ipad bibles #until they learned they could have the audio playing so the older folks that couldn't read all that well #either from lack of education or declining eye site #n e ways I hope y'all enjoyed my ramblings about intersectionality and bible reading #I did attempt it once but got super uncomfortable reading about sex and stuff like that in middle school #and started having terrible intrusive thoughts so I stopped #I also recognize that it's a Jewish tradition to read the entire Torah once a year I believe #And it resets either during Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashanah #my jewish found fam can correct me on that later #but I get wanting to read your holy book to make sure you know what's up and refresh your knowledge #idk maybe I'll write an undergraduate thesis about how the bible comforts black americans as a concept rather than a religion #ex christian #religious trauma

[thepoisonroom]

Trans Book of the Day #1

Welcome to St. Hell: My Trans Teen Misadventure by Lewis Hancox

Lewis has a few things to say to his younger teen self. He knows she hates her body. He knows she's confused about who to snog. He knows she's really a he and will ultimately realize this... but she's going to go through a whole lot of mess (some of it funny, some of it not funny at all) to get to that point. Lewis is trying to tell her this... but she's refusing to listen.

In WELCOME TO ST. HELL, author-illustrator Lewis Hancox takes readers on the hilarious, heartbreaking, and healing path he took to make it past trauma, confusion, hurt, and dubious fashion choices in order to become the man he was meant to be. It's a remarkable, groundbreaking graphic memoir from an unmistakably bold new voice in comics.

Really dug this one, especially for its frank discussion of trying to find an identity that fits when you have limited language and resources to do so! I thought the strongest and most distinctive parts of the graphic novel were:

The asides where Hancox invites commentary from his friends and family about their actions and reactions during his childhood, teenage years, and early transition. He has huge empathy for the ways that misinformation create obstacles to social and medical transition, even within a well-intentioned support network. The segments where he and his mother talk about lack of information on youth transition and HRT making them both anxious about actively addressing his early childhood dysphoria are particularly strong.

Discussion of eating disorders as a response to dysphoria during puberty. This is something that I've rarely seen addressed in literature even though it's such a common experience for a lot of trans people.

Depiction of coming into new identities and how that both does and does not change your relationships. I can see this being a great read for teens who are anxious about theirs or their friends' evolving identities altering the dynamic between them.

This is a super charming, very frank and funny memoir that I think will resonate with both teenagers and adults. Hancox doesn't shy away from critiquing barriers to transition in the UK, but the main focus of the book is his warm, empathetic depiction of his younger self and his loved ones.

#i think it's super cool to see a trans author write so warmly about his child self #i understand that not everyone feels that way or feels comfortable depicting that #but i think especially in the context he's writing in as a trans guy from the UK who grew up pretty online #it feels like a very deliberate choice to be like 'my struggles growing up weren't because i hated myself they were because #i didn't have the information or resources to grow up in a way that didn't involve some level of struggle and self-loathing' #like when looking at how he frames the memoir he's pretty mindful about responding to that kind of transphobic narrative #without agreeing to approach it as a debate where he has to humor that line of thought #also there's a scene where he gets very femmed up for a school dance and talks about the feeling of being in gender costume #and being received as a spectacle by his peers for attempting to perform girlhood but not quite getting the details right #and i read that and was like oh no........ #it just brought back SUCH vivid memories of the times i tried hard to perform Girl growing up #and my classmates would always act like i was a dog that had started walking everywhere on just its hind legs #like okay kin i guess....... :( #personal nonsense #char reads trans lit #i will try to do one of these a day for pride month bc i keep getting questions about trans books!

[reserwrekt]

But what if I've felt like I'm too traumatized to have friends, practically since I was born?

#ptsd #cptsd #being afab and constsntly yelled at for everything especially my autistic traits #being given away and given up on like a puppy that ppl view as an object #never living anywhere longer than a year a constant chsnging school environment #never knowing where i was going to be next year or what foster family I'll get this time #foster parents were shitty towards me #ive been kicked while i was already down so many times. every big life trauma from kidnapping to csa to best friend passing away #people used my brother passing away as a reason to leave me? because they did fucking nothing and although i never pointed it out #they knew it. they abandoned both of us and saw one die and then abandoned me too #ive literally never done anything but stand up for them and k myself for them and im tired of finding people #who say they can love me and they treat me like i don't exist. oh im not your vacation friend. or your craft friend.. or holiday friend.. #i just feel like this is the rest of my life #and i feel truly alone and i haven't known how to cope. i don't know anyone else who spent their entire childhood in foster care and hospita #and the people i did know are in a different place than me as in violent and acting out and refuse to process things #last time i felt like this i started acting in a way i didn't like- not violent but just in a way i didn't like. #i feel like the only way to avoid reverting back is to isolate #personal #vent

[novelconcepts]

I think I'm in shock about Paper Girls. Like I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

Same. There are so many layers to how I feel about it. Furious, to start. It was SO well-received, by critics and fans alike; the problem was marketing. The Twitter tag is full of people who didn’t even realize it was a show until it was cancelled. Hell, I didn’t know it was happening until a trailer hit my dash by chance like a month before it dropped. Apart from the SDCC panel (which, let’s be honest, I’m the right kind of nerd to have noticed, but lots of viewers wouldn’t have known about), it got very little promotion. Which like. Bro. It’s been out less than 50 days. Fifty days to give a first season before you take it out back and shoot it? That’s madness. I said it in my other post, and I’ll say it again: giving a show 3 weeks to hit (and having sky-high perimeters for what “counts”) is a one-way ticket to killing art. It gives no time for growth, for it to find its audience. It kills me how little streaming cares for shows.

Then there’s just the devastation of having this gorgeous, character-driven show with Chinese, Black, Jewish lesbian, and masc lesbian rep, and KNOWING they had a plan. There was so much love in every frame. These girls knew their characters backwards and forwards. They were so lived-in, so authentic. And the fact that Amazon couldn’t bother giving them even just two seasons (which I do believe would have been enough to get the whole story out, if they knew they had only that)? After a competitive bidding war to get the rights in the first place?? Fuck that noise.

Genuinely, I am on my knees for Legendary to successfully sell it to another distributor. It’s a good sign that they instantly got the rights back and announced they were shopping it, but they shouldn’t have had to. If you option the rights to a pre-existing IP, you ought to believe in it enough to let it run a minimum of two seasons. This show is a fucking gem. It’s beloved. It’s just that it got drowned by lack of marketing, another “similar audience” show dropping immediately after (and don’t get me started on how it feels like they pit a historical queer sports show against a coming of age time travel show—two completely different genres that shouldn’t HAVE to compete), and Amazon giving all their money and attention to their New Big Thing. It deserves so much better. I’m so. So upset about this.

#ask #paper girls #and then to watch the four leads—who again are STUNNING in these roles #have to navigate the loss of this thing they loved making while STARTING SCHOOL and trying to be polite on social media about it #is gutting. this whole thing is gutting. #I’m loosely hopeful apple or someone will see the promise and pick it up but like. again. they shouldn’t have to #just. woof. on the one hand it feels silly to grieve a show so hard #but on the other it’s indicative of SO many problems with streaming #not least of which is the idea that female led narratives (especially queer and POC ones) are worth less than anything with dudes #it’s killing me. there’s no way to win. these stories deserve to be backed and told and loved #and streamers time and time again are telling us that isn’t true #so yeah. I’m sick and tired and angry and so fucking sad #and I hope Vaughan and Chiang are able to get it off the ground quickly with another distributer #because I don’t want another version. I don’t want a reboot. i want this show to get its due. #I want these girls back in the roles they are so perfect for #and I’m so bitter that it came to this. and so fucking fast.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

he <3

#big bro <3 he's cool! but is he as cool as best boy t.orgal? hmmm thats up for debate #ash feeds him treats and gives him lots of pets!!! pat pat pat pat pat #ash rambles 💚 #i've been doing nothing but study so brain is mushy #but c.live! brother! and t.orgal! friend! #f.f16 and m.ass e.ffect are keeping me goinf ajdhqjdh i love them #my first fucking post about c.live hasnt popped up so screw it! i'll make another! #also fellas i think my crush on g.arrus v.akarian is much more than that- may or may not have two fankiddos #ahskjqkdjq i've been seriously going through it as of late with school and shit but at least theres hot aliens 😳😳 #but yeah. ash isnt actually blood related to c.live! thank fucking god- i freaking hate his mom LMAAOO #she's just a close friend who he starts to see as a sibling type #especially since shes the same age as his actual little brother #theres about 5 yrs between them so ash is around 28ish! a wee bit younger than her gf v.ivian #big bro is cool :D #... i still like his dog better- #(that was a joke. mostly.) #so much studying.. so tired... but we must persist #once the horrors pass i shall finish m.ass e.ffect 3! muahahaha! #a while back my friends and i decided to go out this weekend. and me being busy as shit is not gonna stop me from dancing it up LMAO #so we're on the study grind 😎 #also on the freaking brainrot grind oh my god- m.atthew has been on my mind all day!! and ofc g.arrus and the two fankiddos i'm working on #also an old crush AJDJAJJSJQ i need to finish h.aikyuu since a.kiteru has my whole heart #okay yeah thats all #everyone look at t.orgal and how cute he is :D! and ig c.live too #my screenshots too! me and f.f16 photo mode are besties :D (i have spent an embarrassing amount of time zooming up on my gf v.ivian)