#even pictures from the times we lived together. i just wasnt there

[caffeinatedopossum]

I am once again missing people so much that my heart aches

#its been like 2-3 years since ive seen them and i still cant get over seeing pictures of them with their friends and im just #not there... #even pictures from the times we lived together. i just wasnt there #i wasnt there for them at all. i was living life like a ghost #i barely left my room #i could never go with them to concerts or restaurants or anything because they knew id get overwhelmed because of my autism and chronic pain #so i just... never got invited anywhere. that still happens now #makes my life feels so painfully empty sometimes #theres so much i want to do. so much i wanted to do #none of the people i miss are dead so why does it still hurt so much? i could talk to them again if i wanted #... but i really can't. i really can't #it wont be the same. we'll still never reconnect. it hurts so much my heart physically aches #i wonder if they ever think about me

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for having a foursome without my partner while in a committed relationship?

I, 18f, am in a relationship with my partner who I will call Mike, 21m. Our relationship started in January when we meet on a hookup sight, and we liked the hookup enough to keep seeing each other and then we developed feelings. I'm from a pretty rural place and therefore the pickings of good men are slim so it felt like I hit the jackpot when I met Mike cause he was funny and didn't pressure me sexually and could actually make me cum.

But as our relationship became more serious I noticed things that were bothering me like how he's hardly on his phone so he doesn't text me back for anywhere from 2 to over 24 hours at a time.

He also in the beginning wasn't very good at communicating which lead me to not knowing what he wants from our relationship. He also wouldn't tell me he couldn't make plans until right before, or even after, the plans were meant to start. This happened often because he doesn't tell his parents that he has other plans when they ask him to do something (he still lives with his parents) and it even happened a couple times with his friends.

This is a slightly big issue to me because I have trauma based abandonment issues and BPD, and I will get upset and have an episode. Obviously it's not his fault I have these episodes and he's not causing them on purpose, but having episodes that often was negatively effecting my mental health.

My best friend Ken and roommate, 18n, and our two other friends, Julian, 18n, and Mac, 20n, had to witness the toll these episodes had on my mental health as I grew more depressed and anxious during the 5 months I allowed this to happen. They continuously encouraged me to either speak to him about his behavior or break up and I ended up talking to him and his behavior seemed to get better. (For context I only can see him about once a week because he has a job with long hours and works on his dad's farm on top of that)

Around this time my friends starting having threesomes together (Mac and Julian are ex fuck buddies and Mac and Ken are engaged) and they kept making jokes about how it should be a foursome/I should join then.

I brought these jokes up to Mike one of the times he was going to hang out with my friends incase made the joke in front of him as i didn't want him to go in unprepared. He said I should just "have sex with them to get the joke to stop" and I was like "??? We agreed to be exclusive, that would be cheating. Also if I wanted them to stop I could just ask" and he was like "yeah I guess but I still think you should just have sex with them. Just do it" I changed the subject cause I couldn't tell if he was joking and it made me uncomfortable.

I told my friends later when we were alone and they told me that was him giving me the go to have sex with them.

So I did, even though I held some reservations that he might have been jokinh. I had a foursome with them, and as I am the photographer of the group, took lots of photos and pictures and even sent the photos and pictures to the groupchat we share so the others could have them.

Then after it ended I started to second guess myself and deleted all the photos from my phone and texted Mike that I really needed to talk to him, like sooner then we usually would (since I had just seen him typically I wouldn't see him until next week). I felt gross like I had cheated, which is something I have always vehemently been against, and betrayed Mike's trust as we're in a committed relationship. I admitted these feelings to my friends and they said it wasn't cheating cause he told me too and even if he hadn't he was still horrible to me and he deserved it.

Only the last part made me feel even worse cause I don't believe anyone deserves to be cheated on.

I ended up telling Mike everything and he told me that it wasnt cheating because I "was basically just a promoted camera man" and that he had told me to do it anyway. But them he started making jokes about it. Like if I asked if he wanted to watch a show, he'd say "I don't watch TV shows with dirty cheaters" or things like "oh yeah, Mac, your other boyfriend" or "yeah i know how close you and Ken are" and just generally seems to get quieter when i bring up those three friends. I would originally think the comments were teasing as he's a playful guy but he started to say it enough that I can't tell if there's actually truth to it and a part of him thinks I'm a cheater, or all of him thinks I'm a cheater and he's lying that he's fine about it to not hurt my feelings/ruin our relationship.

Every time I voice my feelings to my friends (even the ones I didn't have sex with) they tell me that I'm not in the wrong but I feel like I definitely am in the wrong and a cheater, and I think that Mike might feel that way too. So I've come to Tumblr to look for unbiased options on whether or not I am and asshole and a cheater for having a foursome while in a committed relationship?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[sturnsbabie]

Can you write a fluff about Chris x reader, and he invites her to film a video for his personal channel introducing the reader as his girlfriend to the fans and answering some questions about their relationship.

PUBLIC-C.STURNIOLO.

pairing: bf!chris x gf!reader

summary: in which chris films a video with his girlfriend introducing her to his fans and asking questions.

warnings: fluff, slight suggestive.

i hope u like this anon, i tried my best

chris and i have been together for over five months now. we have been keeping our relationship out of the public.

the fans do know he has a girlfriend though, he talks about me a lot in car videos. sometimes he will even post faceless pictures of us in his insta photo dumps. the fans just dont know who i am just yet.

my indenity was kept hidden as i wasnt that big on social media and i wanted to keep it that for awhile not wanting to be the centet of attention.

i was currently in my car headed over to his house. we were gonna film a video introducing me as his girlfriend. i was a little excited but nervous because i knew how the fans can be.

i pulled into the driveway of the triplets house and got out grabbing my things. i was staying here for a couple of days after we filmed the video.

i walked up to the door and let myself in since chris told me i didnt have to knock anymore because we have been dating for a while.

“chris! im here!” i yell out and i hear a set of footsteps jolting from the stairs.

he came into the living room and pulled me into a hug and kissed me softly.

“hi beautiful” he said with a smile.

“hi chris” i said

we headed to his room where he had the camera set up for us to film.

we laid in bed and cuddled for awhile before we decided to start filming.

chris started the video and was doing his intro as i stayed out of the frame til he told me to come over to him.

“hey guys. as you probably have read my title ill be doing a long awaited girlfriend reveal today!” he said with a small smile.

“come on baby!” he motioned for me to come into the frame.

i walked over and sat down next to him as he was talking to the camera.

“you can introduce yourself now.” he said as he looked at me.

“hi. im y/n!” i smiled softly as chris was telling the camera what we were gonna be talking about.

“i asked you guys on my instagram story to send in some questions you guys wanna know about our relationship so thats what were gonna be doing!” he said.

“someone asked how did you guys meet?” chris said

“we have known of eachother for a few years and we officially met thru madi who shes good friends with.” chris explained.

i nodded and listened to chris talk as i smiled at him softly.

“question for you mama, whats your favorite things about me?”

“hmmm! i could name so many” i giggle.

“my favorite thints about you have to be the way you look at me, your cute lil nose, and your hugs” i blush as i say everything.

“interesting” he chuckled.

“where did our first kiss happen”chris asked as he was looking at his phone.

“good question!” he said as i looked at him.

“you answer this one!” i giggle as i play with the ring on my finger.

“well we just had went on our second date and we came back to mine to watch a movie and she had looked at me with this look that was filled with adoration and thats right when i knew it would be her. ANYWAYS i cupped her cheeks softly and kissed her” he was flustered thinking about that moment.

“how did i ask y/n to be my girlfriend?” chris read the question.

“we went out for a fancy dinner date and after we were taking a walk along the beach just talking and he asked me to be his girlfriend.” i said with a small blush.

“a spicy question but how did your guys first time happen?” i read off of chris’ phone as he gave me his phone so i could look at the questions.

chris chuckled as he looked at me. “you sure you want me to answer?” he asked

“yeah go ahead, just dont go too much into detail” i giggled.

“well we were in the backseat of her car in a empty parking lot two weeks after we officially started dating. we had just got food and were sitting and talking and one thing led to another and we ended in the backseat.”he said as he looked at me.

i was flustered as i thought back on that night the first ever time we were intimate with eachother. the way our bodies were connected with eachother and the way we he had me bent over my backseat.

“and that wraps up this video! thank you guys so much for sending in questions. i hope you enjoyed this video as much as i enjoyed filming it” chris said doing his outro as i waved to the camera before he turned it off.

it had been a few days since chris posted the video and the fans were eating it up.

most of the fans were super loving and supportive but there were maybe a few that were sending hate but i really didnt care.

the fans were being super sweet and supportive defending me with some of the hate comments i had got.

fans were making a bunch of cute edits and posting clips from the video.

VIDEO COMMENTS!

user: the way he looks at her omg

user2: the way they both got flustered talking about intimate moments

chrislover1: shes fucking ugly that should be me im prettier and better

user: fuck off

nicolassturniolo: yall hating on y/n for what,yall mad she w chris.

user: they are such a beautiful couple

user: need y/n in a car video immediately.

it felt good being public with chris finally. being able to post him without worrying the fans would find my account.

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets imagines #chris sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #christopher sturniolo #christopher sturniolo imagines #matt sturniolo imagines #chris sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #matthew sturniolo imagines

[jackmanbj]

not just yours

summary: you and jack have been seeing each other for a while now and hes trying everything in his power to get you to break up with him.

you hade just stepped into jacks home and he was already giving you jewelry and purses.

“jack baby, sam is going to be asking where i got all this stuff from.”

“from your main man duh.”

“jack be serious.”

“i dont know, just say your best friend got you these as a surprise because we haven’t seen each other in a long time.”

“whatever.”

jack reached over to get a necklace around you.

“jack how much was this?”

“eh it wasn’t that bad.”

“j how much?” “it was only 5k, it wasnt bad babe calm down.”

“fine.”

jack pulled out his phone for you to see your face on his wallpaper.

“baby i got you a gift!”

“what is it stink?”

jack blind folded you and brought you outside, he took the blindfold off and you seen a pink rolls-royce.

“JACKMAN OH MY GOD!!”

jack leaned over and kissed you cheek.

“do you like it sweet girl?”

“you did not oh my god!”

you wan to the hood of the car where the keys were and unlocked it.

jack took his phone and took pictures of you next to your car.

“jack baby, i love this car so much but, i have a boyfriend. how am i just going to pop up back home with a whole fucking expensive ass car?”

“mamas break up with him!”

“what no!”

“and why not?”

“jack i.. im scared, i hate letting people down and then what if i feel guilty and just get back with him?”

jack went over to you picked you up and went over to the passenger side and placed you into the car as he went over to the driver side.

“where are we going?”

“to your house to go get your stuff, just break up with him please.”

“jackman if i tell you no one more time your using your hand for a fucking month.”

“baby, you cant live without some dick be so for real.”

“jack baby i have a boyfriend who can give me dick?”

“don’t mention him while we’re together unless your telling me your breaking up with him.”

jack put the car in drive and started making his way to mcdonald’s.

the car ride was silent, you were on your phone texting sam while jack was obviously starting to get upset.

“why cant you just leave him though? it’s a serious question, he doesn’t treat you good, and you obviously aren’t satisfied with him.”

“you just told me not to mention him and not even two minutes lat you are, jackman i want to be with only you i do but give me some time and ill break up with him, you trying yo force me is just going to make me stay with him longer. calm down and give me time jack.”

jack huffed and pulled into the mcdonald’s driveway and ordered himself a ice scream sunday.

“what do you want baby?” “vanilla milkshake and medium fries.”

jack told the lady your order and started pulling up the the first window.

jack took his card out and handed to her.

you noticed when the girl grabbed his card she made it her top priority to slightly grab jacks hand before she giggled and closed the window.

“uhm..”

“what?” “did she just like..grab your hand for real like deadass in front of me.”

before jack got a chance to answer you the lady opened the window back up and handed jack the card and a piece of paper.

jack looked at the paper and it read ‘***-***-****’ -amari.

you took the paper from jack and read it yourself before you could even have the slightest chance to react or get pissed of jack went up to the next window.

you balled up the paper and put it in your back pocket to throw away later.

jack handed you your fries and milkshake as he started driving back to his house.

“mamas.”

“yes baby?”

“can i have some of your milkshake?”

“no we literally just left, you could have gotten some when we were there.”

jack reached over your lap and grabbed your milkshake and taking a long sip.

you looked at him in disbelief as he laughed and handed you your milkshake.

“i fucking hate you.”

you took another sip of your milkshake as jack pulled up to a gas station.

you wanted to get some snacks so you went in the store for jack and left your phone.

after a little while of you, being in the store a incoming call came in from ‘sammy🫀’

jack knew you were going to kill him for this but he answered the phone.

“hey baby, when are you coming back home?”

“i dont know man she might not be home for a few days.”

“say who the fuck are you??”

“her main man duh.”

sam started cursing jack out when he seen you walking out the store.

he quickly hung up and placed your phone right back where it was.

you got into the car and noticed your phone ringing, you picked it up and put your hand up to jack telling him to be quiet.

“WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT DUDE THAT ANSWERED THE PHONE FOR YOU??”

jack got out of the car and started making his way to the gas pump after turning off the car.

“what dude sam? im by myself right now..?”

“nahh fuck all that, i called you and some dude answered talkin’ ‘bout you might not b home for a few days. but its good though go live with him ima pack all yo shit, im not going anywhere o break nothing im just going to pack it up so you can pick it up tomorrow, i hope he let you live with him.”

sam hung up and honestly you were relieved, i mean you were pissed at jackman of course but you finally got out of the toxic relationship you were just in and were desperate to escape.

jack got back in the car without saying a word and all you did was pull his face in and kiss him.

“you have to come with me to get my stuff tomorrow from my old apartment, rather you like it or not i live with you not and your using for hand till the end of december baby.”

#jack harlow #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow x you

[witchersmistress]

Simmering Rage

Hello my darlings!! you are in luck today!! ive got a couple of chapters for you, typing this out on a cellphone wasnt the best but i made do with what i had.

Trigger Warnings: Anger, Rage, Blood and violence, and self hatred

Word count:4.3 K

August pov

 My phone chimes with a notification on the seat beside me. I check the screen. Lo again. I haven’t seen her since my car . After I found out what Harper did, I was in a bad place for a while. I don’t remember much of the rest of the mission. The monster operated in my place, holding space for me until I was ready to come back. When the mission l ended, and I had time to think things through, I stopped thinking about what Harper had done and finally looked at the facts behind it. Of course, my mind went straight to the one person who could have told her about Hockington—Gloria Walton.

They’d gotten close, thanks to me, and I fucking paid for it. For letting a Darling into my life, letting her get in with my friends. That’s what I get for letting anyone close to me. Still, it’s a dick move on my part not to at least give Lo a chance to defend herself. If she wasn’t the one who told Harper, I cut her off for nothing. Harper could have bribed someone who worked there, seen me leaving with someone and tracked her down, rooted through my stuff or Dad’s when she was at our house and somehow put it together. It’s better this way, though. Better not to have anyone around me who knows shit about my life. When Lo found out about room 504, it felt safer to keep her close, to give her a reason not to tell anyone. Even if we never talked about it, never talked about our families the way I did with Harper or any real shit, our friendship was real. 

But letting people into my life is a mistake. People blackmail and betray. And if it was her, if she told Harper… Well, Preston can fucking have Gloria. When my phone rings a minute later, I sigh and pick it up. We can talk once. Just to clear some things up. I’m not going to give her a ride anywhere, like I used to when she didn’t have gas money. My car smells like a swamp from all the times I’ve dropped my muddy boots and rubber coveralls in here this summer. Gloria would ask questions, and I’m not about to answer. “Hey,” she says. “I figured you’d ghost me again.” “What’s up, Lo?” I ask, my voice sounding weary. “Do you use the OnlyPics app?” “No,” I say flatly, bristling at the insinuation. “Why would I?” “That’s not—I didn’t mean you’d put stuff up.” “Why?” I ask. “You don’t think people would pay to see my dick?” “No!” she says quickly. “I mean, they would, if you wanted to put it up. That’s not why I was asking, though.” “So, you don’t want to see my dick? That’s not how I remember it.” I’m being an asshole, but she’s basically calling me a whore. She knows better than to ask if I use an app that’s basically a sex worker platform. I don’t get paid for sex, and I don’t need to sell pictures of my body for money. The OnlyPics app was supposed to be a companion to OnlyWords, which is a texting app with, as its name implies, only words in the messages. Everyone likes OnlyWords, but it has no photo sharing capabilities. So the same company made OnlyPics but it was basically a knock-off Instagram where you can’t use captions and the hashtags are hidden, only used by the algorithms to know who to show them to. It probably would have died a quick death if it weren’t for the sex worker industry, who cashed in on three key features—the ability to add a link to profiles, where they added their payment link; the fifteen-second video limit, which let them put up teases to get people hooked; and the private chat feature, which let them send someone the rest of the video for whatever fee they wanted to negotiate or even video chat for a live show.

 I don’t use the app because I’m not an amateur porn star, and if I want to watch porn, I can do it for free like everyone else. If I need a live feed, I have a phone full of numbers of chicks who would be happy to put on a show for me, and I can do more than watch and jerk off. I’m not interested in that any more than I am this app. “Okay, let’s try this again,” Gloria says. “You remember how Harper  disappeared off the face of the earth when you dumped her?” I stiffen in my seat, yanking the wheel to pull off at the nearest exit at the last second. The car behind me lays on the horn, but I ignore it. The noise is almost drowned by the pounding of blood in my ears. “Yeah, what about it?” I ask Gloria. “Well, I think I found her.” “On a porn site?” I ask, hoping like hell someone just uploaded the video of her sucking someone’s dick from last year. It fucks with my head to think that one year ago today, I didn’t even know the name Harper Avery. It was another month before I would see her giving head in the parking lot behind the tampon factory. “Hey, don’t judge me,” Gloria says. “Your brothers have been out of town all summer, and you’ve been ignoring me. I’m having a dry spell.” I could tell her the twins are back, but if she ran her mouth to Harper, I don’t want her around my house, running her mouth to my brothers. So I point out the obvious. “There are more than three dicks in this town.” “Once you go Walker, you never go back,” she says lightly. “And anyway, I only saw it because she sent it to Dawson.” I’m glad I pulled over at the exit, because I’d probably run someone off the road right now if I were still driving. I grip the steering wheel with one hand and close my eyes. My voice comes out so normal you’d think I was just a guy who dumped a girl and didn’t give a fuck about what happened to her since. “I’m afraid to ask, but… Does your brother always share porn with you?” “No, you weirdo,” she says. “Someone DM’d him, and I’ve been obsessing about her all summer, so he showed it to me. He thinks it’s funny as shit.” “Why are you obsessing about Harper?” I demand. 

What the fuck. Maybe I should have kept in touch with Lo. She could find out shit, maybe even the truth. “I don’t know,” she says. “Don’t you think it’s weird that she just… Vanished? I mean, I’m not saying you’re not worth going off the deep end over, or that you couldn’t eviscerate her heart so completely she could never love again. She liked to play it cool, but she really loved you, August. Like, the kind of love that eats you alive, and you’re never the same again.” “Put that shit on a ninety-nine cent Valentines card. You could make real money.”

“Keep playing, you didn’t feel it, too,” she says. “But y’all broke a lot of hearts when you broke up, not just your own. Everyone figured you’d get back together.” “What’s your point?” I snap. I don’t need a fucking lecture about how much I disappointed everyone. She can add it to my fucking tab for all the times I fucked up and pissed off everyone who matters. “My point is, even if Harper was devastated beyond repair, she’s not the kind of chick who would let a breakup destroy her. She’s stronger than that. You may be irreplaceable even to her, but you’re still a boy. And it would take more than one boy to break Harper.” Maybe not one boy. But one boy who shared her with two more against her will? A broken hand and a rope she couldn’t get free of, a swamp full of snakes more poisonous than her? Yeah. That could do it. “Then it obviously had nothing to do with me,” I say. “Maybe she got hooked on Lady Alice or Pearl Lady or whatever the fuck they’re calling it now, and she’s selling herself to pay for it like a regular junkie. Hell, her mom basically said as much.” “It did blow up the scene right around that time…” Gloria muses. “Maybe she’ll tell you for the right price,” I say flatly. “That’s all she’s ever cared about.” “August…”

 “What?”

 “Look, I don’t know everything that went down between you, but I know what it’s like to walk away from love. Just because you broke up doesn’t mean your heart wasn’t decimated, too.” My laugh is brittle, like stepping on glass. “You’re funny, Lo.” I could ask her, just come right out and be blunt, like King. But I can’t acknowledge that much aloud. The hotel is its own world. When we leave, we don’t mention what goes on there. I don’t tell the school that Gloria is a scholarship kid. I elevated her. And she never tells anyone that I get a room there every few months. Would she risk telling someone, knowing she could lose it all? Even if she hates me, she loves her status too much to risk it. What would make her turn on me like that? Harper didn’t tell that creep where she found out the information. But it has to be Lo. No one else knows. So, I hung up the phone, letting her think this is about a breakup.

 That it’s not about a murder, not about a girl coming back from the dead, a ghost dragging her broken body from the swamp and crawling back into my brain to fuck with it even more. I open my email, the one connected to the OnlyWords and OnlyPics apps by default because it’s all made by the same company. I barely remember thumbing away the automatic notifications I got when someone sent me a message this summer. I ignored them all, knowing they were porn spam. My chest is hollow as I open one from my spam folder. It tells me I have twenty-four new messages on OnlyPics. I follow the link and open my direct messages. The first one is a thumbnail of a video, sent this evening. If it’s from Harper, she changed her handle from BadApple. For a few seconds, all I see is a closeup of part of her tattoo. I take it in, examining it until I realize it’s her hip crease, and pressed along the back of her thigh, an expanse of pale skin. It takes me a minute to make sense of what I’m seeing. Whoever she’s fucking, he’s got her folded in half like her legs are over his shoulders while he nails her into the bed. There’s no caption, and there are no words even on the messenger, so I have to click on the profile to find an explanation. Apple Cream Pie, $1k/min. Time seems to skip. Some caveman part of me must take over, because the next thing I know it’s five minutes later, and I’m five thousand dollars lighter, and I’m slamming my phone against the top of the steering wheel over and over. I feel it crunch and snap, but I keep pounding it until there’s nothing left in my hand, and the pieces of it are scattered across my lap and the floor. Time skips again. I’m in my driveway at home. Blood is dripping down the steering wheel and into my lap. 

I open my hand and find pieces of glass jutting from my palm in a dozen places. And all I think about is that day my car was bombed, and Harper tried to pick the glass from my face with her tiny, careful fingers. I climb out of the car. There’s a black Jaguar parked on the gravel, a tall figure leaning against it. I walked up to him. Something in me seems to have been knocked loose, and I think I might fucking kill him, even though it’s just Oliver Finnegan, who never goes inside. He doesn’t approve of the family business. “Hullo, August,” he says, his Irish accent distorting the words. Or maybe it’s the ringing in my ears. “Am I in your spot? I can move the car.” “Don’t worry about it.” He cocks his head, his weird, pale eyes taking in the blood on my pants, my hand. “You alright, mate?” I shrug and head for the house. Just as I’m about to step inside, his brother steps out, a black duffle in one hand, probably full of cash or those fucking pearls everyone’s on about. Colin Fucking Finnegan. My eyes narrow, my fists clenching until I can feel the glass biting deeper, piercing through my skin and into the muscle and sinew. “Was it you?” I grind out. Part of me knows it’s impossible, but maybe he sent the photo on his way here, or maybe he took it earlier. I need Baron to find the date signature on a video, if it’s even possible. For all I know, Harper’s dead, and she took those videos herself while we were together. If she’d sell my dignity for a scholarship, why wouldn’t she sell videos of herself fucking 2other guys when she was with me? “Whatever it was, I bet it was me,” Colin says, flashing me a knowing grin that shows off his chipped front tooth. “Are you still sore about that beating you took last spring?” “You know what it’s about.” “If it’s not that, you’re pissed you didn’t get a cut of this,” he says, jiggling the bag. “Don’t fucking push me right now,” I warn. His creepy eyes go smug. “Or… You still on about that whore? I figured that’s what set you off last spring. Everyone in town knows I fucked her first. Are you just finding out?” “Where is she?” I demand, grabbing him around the neck and slamming him up against the wall. “Where the fuck do you have her, you cum guzzling, festering wad of infected dick cheese?” A cocky, defiant grin stretches his lips. “Aww, did you catch something off her?” he asks. “Wasn’t me, mate. I popped that cherry when there were barely three hairs on her pussy. Haven’t touched her since.”

I don’t know exactly what happens next. I don’t see Colin Finnegan in front of me anymore. All I see is red. The next thing I know, my brothers and Dad are holding me down on the steps, and Oliver and their uncle are holding Colin back while he curses and struggles and spits. The white gravel is painted red like the day the Darlings vandalized our house, but this time, it’s blood. “Let me up,” I growl, shoving off the step and wrenching free of my family. I stalk toward Colin, who writhes like a cat getting a bath. I can feel blood trickling down my face, the jagged edges of a few broken teeth, and the throb of one eye that’s already swelling shut. But I don’t feel pain. The other thing that lives inside me has swallowed it, and I can’t feel a thing. “Come on,” Colin yells, dancing in the grip of his brother. “Let’s do it again. I can go all night. Whoo! I feel alive!” I stop in front of him, ignoring my brothers, who have rushed up behind me to grab me if I lose my shit again. But I’m calm now. “Enjoy it while it lasts,” I say to Colin. My lip is broken and swollen so thick my words come out slurred. “If I find out you’re the one who sent those videos, you won’t be alive much longer.” I turn and walk inside. I don’t know why I care. I watched two guys fuck her. I gave them permission. I made sure to watch, so I knew I could never want her again, never think she was mine. I broke her on purpose, but piece by piece, I’m the one falling to pieces.

Harpers POV

“Are you Mr. D?” I demand, standing in the Phantom’s bedroom, my whole body quaking. I hold the tag in between my finger and thumb, waving it at him. He just walked out of the shower, his body all steamy, a towel around his hips, mask over his face. He shrugs. “What about it?” Anger seethes through me. “That’s how you knew where I was that night. Isn’t it?” He opens his dresser and pulls out his underwear. I know where he keeps them. I know where everything in his apartment is. But I didn’t know his name, have never seen his face. I come when he calls, practically live here two days a week, like a goddamn whore. He promised he’d fuck me one day, and now he has. I don’t know why it matters suddenly. I never cared before. He nods vaguely toward the windows. “I keep an eye on things.” “On me,” I say, sinking onto the edge of the bed. “You keep an eye on me.” “I told you, I can be anyone you want me to be,” he says with a haughty little smirk. “As long as you’re you, Miss A.” “As long as I’m August’s fuck toy,” I correct him. “That’s why you take those pictures, isn’t it? To send to him and show him what you’ve done to me.” “What I’ve done to you?” he asks, turning to face me after pulling on a pair of sweats. They hang low on his narrow hips. Above them, the ridges of his abs are carved deep and sharp. His body is a finely chiseled sculpture. I’ve never noticed, but he’s beautiful, even without a face. “What about what he did?” He paces forward, stalking, his voice laced with fury that makes me shrink back on the bed, as if he could hurt me more than I’ve been hurt. As if he could take something from me that he hasn’t been taking all along. “You changed me,” I whisper. “I saved you.” I stare up at him, feeling guilty for feeling anything but gratitude. He works out, takes care of himself, wears exquisite clothes to work at his standing desk with three monitors, an ergonomic keyboard, and a fancy Mac computer. I’m the one who should be ashamed. I don’t take care of myself until he tells me to. He tells me to shower, puts me in fancy clothes, makes me look like a girl who could be, in some fairytale in his mind, deserving of him. And he treats me like I am.

 He cooks me fancy dinners and buys me everything I need or could want without me having to ask. He even took care of my mother. I don’t treat him half as well. I don’t cook or offer to help clean up. I don’t even talk to him when I come over. While he cooks, I sit curled on his fine leather sofa, sipping his fine wine. The only thing I do for him in return for everything he’s done is spread my legs. If he’s made me a whore, I’ve let him do it. The first day he bought me something, the phone, I could have said no. But I didn’t. I let him dress me up like a doll, treat me like property, and fuck me like a whore. If anything, he’s shown me he values me more than I value myself. He bought me fucking diamonds. A girl like me, I have no right to even hope for this kind of man, this kind of treatment. I’m lucky to be his whore. But for the first time in months, I want to speak, to voice my desires. “You’re right,” I say. “You’ve treated me well. But I’m done being your whore.” “You’re not—” He breaks off, pressing his lips together and shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. That’s not how I see you, Harper.” “How do you see me?” He stares at me a long moment. “I just wanted to take care of you,” he says at last. “I saw what they did to you. You’re not the only person…” He shakes his head again. “And yeah, I wanted to fuck you to piss off August. I’ll admit that. But I never saw you as a whore. I only gave you what you needed.” “Like these?” I ask, upturning the jeweler’s bag. The box falls out, the lid askew, one of the diamonds dangling out the side like something obscene. “Fair enough,” he says, moving across the room and sitting heavily on the bottom of the bed. “Maybe I had selfish reasons. But I never thought you owed me.

 I know you won’t believe me. I know what I look like. You think I can’t get laid unless I buy a girl diamonds. And you’re right.” “What about your girlfriend?” I ask, my voice thick. He scoffs. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Look at me.” “So you dressed me up and pretended you did,” I say, feeling like some weird blow-up doll. I’ve acted like one. I haven’t been a whole person since before the swamp. I’ve been a doll, broken into a million pieces, and he’s pieced some of them back together—at least on the outside. But he can’t fix me inside. He can reach in, but he won’t find anything to piece back together. I’m hollow. “I never pretended to be a good guy,” he says. “Don’t act shocked that I’m exactly who I was all along.” “But you never told me who you were,” I point out. “You never asked.” “I did.” We sat side by side for a while, neither of us speaking. “You don’t want to know who I am,” he says. “Look at me. Look at what I’ve become.” I could say the same thing. 

 When I tell Mr. D I’m not coming back, he doesn’t say anything. But he doesn’t get ready to take me home as usual. I ask if he’s taking me home, and he says no, but he doesn’t stop me when I take his keys. I keep waiting for him to come after me, but he just studies me, his face behind that infuriating blank mask, his one good eye watching me leave. In the garage, I climb into his truck. I’m sure he’s going to come down and stop me. My hands are shaking so hard I can barely get the key in. I open the garage on the bottom level of his building, and I drive out. I keep checking the rearview, sure I’ll see him coming after me. But he lets me go. Some sick part of me deflates when I turn into my driveway and he’s not there. Not even Mr. D thinks I’m worth hunting down. I climb out of the truck and go inside. Nothing has changed. But everything has. Without the Tuesday and Thursday excursions, I stop leaving the house. I ignore the staff that comes in and cleans my house on a weekly basis. I don't care where they came from or who hired them.

 There’s no point. I Don't even return his truck. It sits like an oversized monster in our driveway, drawing attention from anyone and everyone. I hide the keys inside a tear in my box spring, I sleep with a switchblade in one hand for the nightmares that plague my every waking moment, as if my fall from grace has given them permission to terrorize me, maybe they can smell my brokenness, my weakness, the way I can smell alcohol on Duke’s breath. And even though I was sure I felt nothing all those months, now that I don’t see the Phantom, there’s an ache left inside me that he once soothed. 

When I wake myself up croaking feebly, from a dream where I’m gagged, silenced as I try to force sound from my strangled throat, there are only blankets to wrap around me instead of his strong, salient arms. I stop leaving the house, stop doing anything. I can’t remember why it mattered to be clean, to eat, to live. One evening, as I’m lying corpse like in my bed, a tap sounds at my grimy window. I’m so startled I sit up before my brain can kick in and say what it says about everything—it’s not worth it. It doesn’t matter. Turning my head I see a crow pecking at the shiny part of my window. Standing up and making my way into the bathroom, I turn on the lights avoiding the mirror. I don't want to look at the girl in the mirror. I just can't.Turning on the hot water in the sink letting it fog up my mirror, I scoop the water with my hands and splash it on my face.

  I know I should care but I can't summon the energy. My sponsor is gone. There’s no way out. I’ve given up, accepted the fact that I’ll be just like my dead beat mother. Turning off the water and raising my head, reluctantly I look back at my reflection, I meet my soulless eyes and stare. I should want to rage against this weak girl that I've become, to become the monster those boys wanted me to be.. Turning off the lights and walking back to my room. Dropping back down into bed, I looked out the grimy window and let out a deep sigh, I can't stay like this broken doll. But I just don't care anymore..

A while  later, lying in my bed, I think maybe it’s time I did.

#henry cavill characters #henry cavill x you #august walker fanfic #august walker #august walker fanfiction #august walker imagines #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill #henrycavill smut #henry cavill thirst

[that-fandom-writer]

3000+ words of chenford

Is this going  to be a long ass post about all the different things i have noticed about Tim and Lucy over 5 seasons? yes do i expect people to read all of it? eh probably not lol, am i gonna write it anyway because i just need to get it all outta my head? yes lol also some of it might be outta order of when it happened lol 

ok so heres the thing. it alll started in the first episdoe if you really think about it, the fact that they saw Isobel and she covered and didnt tell anyone a damn thing about it. then the fact that he was shot and she dragged him to cover to get him safe all that happened her first day on the job, and i think that with both of those things happening they both knew they were gonna be a good team, there was a trust there. tim was in a dark place when lucy came into the picture. 

she went to Isobels apartment for him to check it out, she went to her apartment in the middle of the night ot talk him about of taking the drugs out, she knew even only being on the job with him for a few weeks at that point, she knew that he had a code, and he had principles and wouldnt wanna live with that later. 

he started giving her pep talks when she didn’t even realize she needed them. when she got poked with the dirty needled at the homeless compound, the way he had her back in the hospital and the way he talked her off the ledge that she was on that day. 

the fact that when he started to study for his sargents exam, she convinced him he needed a hobby and they went paintballing together on their time off 

the audio books the fucking audio books the fact that she figured out he learns by listening, and then the fact that she went out of her way to talk to isobel about him, and then went out of her way to record the book on the mmp3 player for him so that he would be able to listen to it and learn the book 

There is also the fact when the rookies had to complete their lists he went out of his way to make sure she got her list, he even stayed for overtime, and yeah he would have said at the time that it was because “shes MY rookie if she fails it looks bad on me” but i truly think that even then he wanted her to succeed for herself he knew even then that she had something deep inside her that she would figh through any of it 

the day that they crashed the rigged car, he was looking at getting in trouble, but she went out of her way and spent the entire day trying to clear his name to ensure that he would not get in trouble 

 the quarantine there was the fact that as soon as he was coughed on he closed the door to protect her from it, there was the fact that she stayed and was concerned the entire time. the fact that they talked the entire tiem, and then she went in the ambulance with him, and covered his body with her own when the ambulance was getting shot at,

the abduction- he blamed himself so much for her getting taken, (that also shows how great his friendship with Lopez is and i LOVE their friendship as well) anyway the way he did everything he could to find her, then when they found her, the way he literally dug with his bear hands to get her out, and then he did the compressions, he did mouth to mouth he LITTERALLY brought her back to life, he stayed in her hospital room all night until she woke up (yeah i know he said he wasnt there all night but we all know lol) and then how he knew to have her food ready for her, i just loved every part of that 

when he gives her the ring back, but more so the pep talk he gives her before that, like the whole “that tattoo is a  sign your a survivor” 

 how worried he gets about her when she goes undercover, deep down hes afraid of what happen to Isobel, it worries him, and when Angela tells him about the little freak out she had and angela tells him “dont go on Tim on me” i think at that point is wher Angela knew something because Tim wouldnt get that protective over some one he doesnt care about 

Emmit - so there was the time that Tim yelled at Lucy and Emmit was defending her and she was mad at Emmit for that lol. but he was trying to protect her. or the night in the car when he was saying that he pushed her right at caleb and she almost died, and then she todl him it wasnt his fault, th look on his face when she said that was like a part of him thought she blamed him and they way she said “i wouldnt ask if i didnt value your opinion” and how right after that he went straight into his insulty sarcasm “you can do much better”

the pranks all the pranks (ill go more into details about the radio tho)

the way he gave up the promotion for her

 he goes tougher on her because he knows she can handle it. 

 her last day as a Rookie when he says “youve been lucky on the job, wait that isnt fair you have dealt with things that would have broken veteran cops” he kknows how strong she is and he is starting to get more comfortable telling her that 

the first wedding Lopez and Wesley, the looks they exchanged, the fact that Grey and Harper had that “its only a matter of time” look on their faces when she excused her self and went to Tim, the way he said “save me a dance”

 the way the night jackson died, he made sure she wasnt alone, a lot of people assume they would have possibly gotten somewhere that night had he not gotten the call he did, however i dont think he would have, i think deep down he wanted to, i think he had feelings for her, but he wouldnt wanna do anything in that moment because of how vulnerable she was that night 

*yes this is outta place but again I already mentioned that would happen lol* anyway when the team went down to find Angela, she stayed behind but she was so worried and concerned about him when he was there yes she was on the phone with him but pretty sure she knew it was on speaker and she made it a point to say Tim becareful not just for everyone

 The way that she helped him through his childhood issues with his dad without even really trying. The look on his face when she said “tim tests” when Genny mentioned the time their dad dropped him off and made him find his way home, Tim looked upset, like almost as upset as he did when he thought that he was to blame for her abduction.  Like he was upset and hurt when he thought even for a second that Lucy was comparing him to his dad. And then how she had no problem using her day off to help at the house. She had no issue going to the hospice house when he confronted his dad one last time. And then the hug outside the in the hallway the look on his face when he said “the tim tests those don’t make me like him” like all he wanted was for her to know that he wasn’t that person, he wasn’t his dad

 The way he had no issue taking Kojo, the way they still talk about him from time to time. The way he told Ashley that he kept the dog for Lucy. Or when Ashley called Lucy about Kojo and the way she said that the is a lot like tim “big and tough on the outside but deep down hes a real sweetheart”

Her fake confession of feelings, how he was all speechless and wasn’t sure how to let her down, and then when she started laughing, and he seemed legit offended that she would do that

 THE DOUBLE DATE THE FUCKING DOUBLE DATE like do I even have to go into detail about why that was as awesome as it was for Chenford fans lo

The dance at Harpers wedding. Th way he told her she deserved to be recognized and he wants her to have a nice and long career and how his eyes said “and ill do anything l make that happen”

The way he told her “don’t let anyone tell you that you cant do something, not even me”

The start of the undercover that episode where they meet Dim and Juicy, when they are then at her apartment to go over everything and practice being a couple the look on his face when she gives her ida for the back story

 The air plane, they were undercover flirty because they had to, and then they found out about Roslind, and he puts his hand over hers to comfort her, and we all know that it was Tim comforting Lucy at that rate and the way he made an excuse to get her alone to check on her, and then the way she pulled him in for a kiss even though she could have just messed up his hair and and shirt a little bit

At the table when he confirms with Angela and shes solid, he trusts her and je trusts her judgment the hotel room, how he is speechless seeing her naked back, he confronts her about the kisses not feeling pretend (at that rate im sure they were not pretend for him) then he tells her that shes good at the under cover stuff, I think in that moment he realizes that she wouldn’t be a repeat of Isobel

When they fight off 3 dudes with guns by themselves without guns and with tim being tied and Lucy being in a robe, that was just a sign of the way they are both bad asses. Lol

When he walks her up to her apartment when they got back, the way they were talking about how what happenes under cover stays under cover and then she invited him in, that right there was when she 100% knew she has feelings for him, and I think he knew at that point as well because while yes he hesitated he still walked in.  we can also add the fact that he was annoyed at first  when Chris was there.

The talk in the hallway about him telling her she needs to do the UC school. He knows its good for her, it was him telling her that really pushed her to go, Chris had already told her, Nyla had already told her, but it was when Tim told her when it really pushed her, tho that conversation with tim asl broke her a little bit, you could see it, but I think it also broke him, I don’t think he wanted to push her away, I think he thought that some distance was for the best for them at that point in time

The fact that it was Tim who realized that she was radio silent, he was the one who saved her when they got there, he didn’t ask Aaron to help didn’t say shit to arron for that matter just went straight at the door and did everything he could to pull the door open and ger her out of ther e

The episode where Bailey gets trapped in the tank, the entire time she was having PTSD triggers but she was trying to hide it, but he saw them and that’s why he didn’t wanna be too far from her at any given point, he was trying to protect her even if no one realized it, she didn’t even realize it, like the “no youre not going down there its too dangerous there could be more traps let me go instead” and he did not have to give her his duty belt lol and then the look they shared the entire time he was going down

While he was in the hospital, the way she made him go in the first place, t he way she wouldn’t take no for an answer about him going. Then when he was there and he was like “yes give me surgery” and she was like well wait what are the risks like she cared more about that than anyone else in the room then there was also when he fell he didn’t want any one to tell her because he knew she would worry because he knew if it was reverse he would be worried about her. Then when she got to the hospital and he didn’t tell her right away about him and Ashley, he told her to slow her role the fact that they had their normal dynamic, or the little smirk on his face when she said “I know” about staying to keep him company

The radio, the fact that she knew he would figure out that she was the one who had it, based on the clues, because they both know they know each other that well. And then the banter between them when he first tries to get it back from her, “is it pay back for how I treated you as a rookie” and then the sigh he told her it was nothing simply because he knew he couldn’t lie and keep saying he was fine. And then when he finally did tell her, the exchange they had about it, and how she was like “I should know better than to get in your personal business” ike girl please stop acting like you aint in that mans business all the damn time any way lol but also its like then he told her, and told her that he did appreciate it and that it was helpful, which was her goal all along anyway

The under cover opp, Tim KNOWS lucy can handle herself and is good at UC but he also WAS very concerned about her, and he knew that what Aaron said had a little truth behind, it, it wasn’t willingly trying to hurt the kid or anything like that but he would do whatever he could to help Lucys career

The conversation in the shop all day, they talked about having feelings for eachother without really talking about it like that, they talked about Chris, she knows Chris is a good person, she likes being around him and everything like that but she isn’t in love with him and they both know it. I don’t know if tim knows at that point that is because she is in love with him, but he knows at that point that he is in love with lucy. The way Chris cant read a damn room, and called her about a house in he middle of the bombs happening and everything, and tim can SEE that Lucy doesn’t wanna have the conversation with Chris and gives her an out. Tim doesn’t hate Chris, but he also knows that Lucy isn’t as happy as she deserves to be.

The conversation out side the station, she started it yes, but I think deep down he wanted to ask her out all day and was just waiting until he could gauge a little more. And then when she mentiones that their relationship is the most important one in her life he gets the confirmation that he needs to go ahead and ask her out.  The nervous look on his face before he asks, and then the huge smile on his face after she says yes. But then when she had to sya no because she wanted to end things with Chris the right way, but then she tells him to ask her again later, like she wants him to know, that she does indeed wanna go on a date with him and give them a shotshe just wants to be a single woman when they do

In the office when he asks how the break up is going, and then tells her what to do, and then asks her if shes having second thoughts, because he doesn’t wanna pressure her into it he wants it to be her idea and he wants her to want him the way he wants her. The way he says “good” and smiles when she says she isn’t having second thoughts or just the way that Chris knows that Tim knows Lucy so well he asks his opinion lol

 And then the office after the Chris break up. The way she went straight back to the station to be able to talk to him right away, she wanted to make sure he knew right away that she was single and was able to be his now. The way when she said she talked to Chris he got up to talk to her, and then the little joke because that was simply them and the “don’t make me hurt you” because that was also so much them, and then the way he asked her nd the smiles when she said yes.

I can not wait til they finally get to go on their date, it does say there will be complications but like I think we all knew there would be complications but I truly, truly believe that the writers will be smart enough to let them happen because the fans will riot and they will loose ratings if Chenford gets too fucked over lol

#chenford #chenford therookie chenfordmoments #tim and lucy #tim bradford x lucy chen #tucy #ilovethem #i will go down with this ship #current obsession #i love them more #they are amazing

[lawyerkin]

story time of how i got a dog under the cut :3

so as i mentioned. i was in a big city, biggest one in my state actually, for an important appointment. and i left with some pretty bad news that left me feeling really hopeless and depressed and kind of done with everything. this was last thursday in the morning.

from the hospital i went straight to the beach with my gf and her brother, who drove us there in his car. i felt pretty bad all day and i was on grindr to distract myself because big city grindr is very different from what im used to back in my town and i like exploring it.

the next day we went back to the actual city and we were at the mall from around 11 am to 6 pm, then i left with a guy i met up with there. i got to the guy's house and he had two dogs, a small shitzu and this puppy that was almost bigger than his grown dog, and he told me he was giving the other dog away because he bought the dog thinking it was a yorkshire (he fell for a pretty obvious scam 😭) and the dog just wouldn't stop growing and the apartment was REALLY, REALLY TINY and absolutely NOT AT ALL fit for a dog any bigger than a york.

so i was telling him i live far away from the big city and my backyard is pretty big and tbh almost all houses in my town have really big backyards and he asked if i could take the dog bcs he said i seemed like i would be able to care for it and im ngl, i never wanted a dog

after my two elderly poodles passed in 2022 i thought i'd never have a dog again because it really is a chore and i wasnt really willing to take on a 10+ year long responsibility again. but when i saw that puppy. they called him urso. i just instantly knew i HAD to take him. i just knew i NEEDED him. and yeah, i did

i was at several other places after going to that guy's house, all in the meantime i was talking to a lot of people to see if it would work out. i talked to my sister ofc, even with my dad who didn't even know i wasn't home, with bubble and her brother because we'd be taking him home in their car and with my friend wolfe who lives in a farm as a sort of backup plan. the next day at around 3 pm i decided i was taking him. so bubble's brother drove us to pick him up. he got in the car and not even an hour later he was sleeping on the floor of the car, and bubble also fell asleep and i was just looking at the dog and thinking about my life and about those very negative thoughts i was having and i started thinking about this dog and the future we'll have and all the things i'll have to do to keep him safe and take care of him and i was suddenly filled with these waves of motivation and i scrapped my idea of quitting going to the gym because i'll need to be strong to control my dog and have energy to take him for walks and i want to knit him sweaters when it gets cold and train myself to jog/run so we can go together and teach him tricks and give him toys and we can have matching collars and i'll make a instagram stories highlight just for him and im gonna have a baby to care for. and i'll have an actual reason to leave my room. and go out. and eat and go to the gym and do my best everyday. for my puppy. he needs me i need him and i am SO glad i met up with that random guy on grindr

also here are some pictures :3

tony hawk pro skater demo (aka urso 🐻) in his original home, and being carried by his original owner in a bag (cutest thing in the whole entire world!!!!!)

tony hawk pro skater demo (aka urso 🐻) in our car, getting ready for a 6 hour long drive home <3

on our way: stopping to stretch our legs, posing with a 3 meter tall capybara, tony inspecting the driver's seat, going back to sleep and, finally, TONY HAWK PRO SKATER DEMO HOME WITH MY FAVOURITE CHEW TOY I GAVE HIM AS A SPECIAL WELCOME GIFT <33

#tony hawk pro skater demo #tony hawk #doggy #my baby doll tony baby urso my precioys little bear my darling cutie pie god i love him so much #irl things #dog

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Stay for the Sunrise [Sabal x Astarion] [m/m]

Heyyy guys! this is the first draft of my Tav/Astarion fic, its also a character study of my Drow Elf Monk, Sabal. I haven't edited it, its a first draft, but Im wondering if anyone is interested in reading it. If so, I may post to A03.

Eventually, it will be 18+/explicit but not in the first couple chapters.

"So... this is where we are stopping? ah, 'turning in for the night' as they say?"

 The question was spoken with light hesitation, an undercurrent of vulnerability behind the attempt to remain casual. Sabal looked idly over at the uncertain High Elf before him, noting how he twisted his fingers together in front of him with nerves before releasing them to swing at his sides, restlessly shifting from foot to foot. 

Astarion. The "magistrate" from Baldur's gate. Wholly convinced of his own charm and deceptions, but somehow severely lacking in the capacity to convince anyone else around him. But who was he, a Drow, to judge? they knew nothing of each other. Had met today, in fact, after falling from the sky and into each others lives in a manner that none would have ever been able to predict. If he wanted to lie (poorly) in an attempt to seem in control, then he could. It mattered very little to Sabal. 

"... For tonight, yes. " He said slowly, calmly. Sabal had spent the last fifteen years on the Surface, wandering the Wilds and Civilization without much care for direction. In all that time, he had learned much about sleeping rough and making what you could out of what you could gather. Astarion was very obviously... what did they call it? 'fresh off the boat'. He knew this uncertainty well. It was a harsh thing, to have silk bedding and servants to feed you and brush your hair one day, and to be alone in the dark with nothing but your clothes the next. 

He was... sympathetic. 

Astarion's lips twitched as he chewed over how to respond to that. "It's funny- the night time usually means bustling streets, bursting taverns..." his voice took on a heady, heated tone as he spoke, obviously picturing the nights to which he was accustomed. 

"This is.... a little novel, uh- to say the least." Their eyes met, and Sabal saw vulnerability. Questions that pride disallowed Astarion from asking. He didnt want to seem useless, or incapable - that much was obvious-  but he was out of his element and about as lost as a man could be out here in the woods. 

Sabal stood from his crouched position in the grass, casually sorting through the herbs he had just gathered as he considered how to handle the situation. Shadowheart and Gale were nearby, he noted, trying very hard to look like they werent listening in. What a mess this was already. 

"What begins as novel can become quite natural in time. Today was rough on all of us, it is most natural to feel out of ones element. It is not every day that you get dragged through Avernus on a Nautiloid run by Illithids who have impregnated your mind with a life-ending time bomb in the shape of a toothed-worm." This blatant explanation was received easily, and Astarion snorted, crossing his arms over his chest protectively.

"Indeed." But he wasnt loosening up at all, if anything, it seemed the elf was regretting his decision to engage in conversation at all. Sabal tried again:

"A creature of the night, are you?" he asked lightly, trying to lighten the mood by drawing attention to how the high elf had spoken about Baldur's Gate and its bustling nightlife. To his surprise, Astarion looked gutted at this question, immediate panic flaring on his face. Sabal cringed inwardly and followed up as quickly as he could:

"What I mean to say is that you sound like you enjoy being out in the evenings. Are you used to staying up late?" 

Relief. Immediate slumping of shoulders, a held breath let loose from his lungs in an audible huff. 

"Ah, yes- I do so enjoy the taverns. Look, what I meant was- what is- what is expected of us this evening? do we simply bed down in the dirt like dogs?" Astarion's guard was way up now. Sabal had made some kind of grievous mistake in the last few moments, and he could see the white haired man starting to visibly back away from the conversation, no longer meeting his eyes but instead scanning the area for an easy and convenient escape opportunity. 

".... Gale is tending to the fire, which will be in the center of camp. We scoured the beach quite thoroughly before finding you, and found it well supplied. We have food enough for us all, and a pot to cook it in once the fire is hot enough. We will place our bedrolls around the fire for warmth. It may not allow for privacy, but it will take a few days to gather enough resources to build proper transportable shelter." Speaking as one would to a spooked horse or wild animal with its leg caught in a trap, Sabal let himself over-explain the situation in a voice both soft enough to soothe and loud enough that their other camp mates would overhear easily. 

"Shadowheart will sort through what we have liberated from the victims of the crash, so we can have an inventory of resources before we pack up tomorrow. There are enough bedrolls and packs that we should all be functional in the days ahead. Perhaps it may seem like sleeping 'in the dirt', as you say, but a bedroll is much preferred to the dirt itself. However... it has been quite a long day. These herbs," neatly sorted in his nimble hands, the flowering herbs smelled beautiful as he raised his hand and waved them in front of Astarion,

"Will make a calming tea to soothe the nerves. I was just waiting for the fire to be ready before I brewed some. Would you like a cup?"

Again, somehow, this was the wrong thing to say. Astarion eyed the herbs like they were feces, wrinkling his nose.

"Not my drink of choice, honestly. No."

"Alright. Well,  I shall continue with my task regardless. Perhaps, since there is really only one job left, you could take it?"

Distrust and suspicion lingered in those crimson eyes as they flickered back to Sabal for a brief moment. He didnt trust whatever was about to be asked of him.

"And what job is that?"

"Night watch. Stay up, wander the perimeter. Keep us safe as we rest." *take time to yourself, decompress, process things, and get the space that you so obviously want from the rest of us*. It was an olive branch of a task, as they did not truly require a dedicated watch person in a camp this small with experienced travellers like himself who only meditated for a few hours a night. However, finally, he seemed to have said the right thing. That made for once, today, with this twitchy man.

"Ah! yes. You all get some much needed rest. I'll keep watch." Astarion was pleased, and thoroughly convinced that Sabal was giving him an important job that was going to be criminally easy as it already aligned with what he was intending to do for the night. Gale and Shadowheart both seemed to be nodding to themselves, happy to hear that their new camp mate was contributing to the team this evening.

Finally. All was settled. For tonight, at least. 

As the velvety darkness of night descended upon the surface world and his human and half-elven companions took to their slumber, Sabal settled into a cross-legged position upon his bedroll, preparing for his nightly meditation. Many chose to lay on their backs for this, an illusion of sleep, but he was a Monk, and had no troubles taking a more wakeful pose. His muscles would hold his position well for the four hours required to rest and process through his memories, and he would subconsciously flex and stretch them in minimally-noticable ways so that when he finally roused it would be the same as if he had been supine all evening. 

Tonight, his mind wandered through the events of the day only briefly before being dragged to the past. He walked the path of his past with calm, measured mental steps. Though Sabal was unable to drag himself away from his own story, he was no longer as troubled by its pains as he used to be. He was no longer the man he used to be. 

His mind, attuned to the rhythmic pulse of the natural world and the internal functions of his body at last, drifted back into the abyssal depths of memory. It was a night etched in the shadows of Menzoberranzan, a city where treachery danced hand in hand with the spider goddess Lolth's whims.

In the recollection, Sabal was not the free elf beneath the moonlit canopy but the second son of House Zavrinn. The memory unfolded like a tattered tapestry, revealing the struggles within the labyrinthine corridors of power.

He saw himself, a young drow with silver hair and penetrating amethyst eyes, navigating the intricacies of a society where males were but chess pieces in a game of queens. His sisters, Ilvaria and Zira, stood tall in the hierarchy, their destinies woven into the fabric of Menzoberranzan's ambitions.

From a young age, Sabal was taught the harsh realities of drow hierarchy. Males, like him, were considered mere pawns in the intricate game of power. His elder sister, Ilvara, was the chosen heir, destined to carry the family's name to greater heights. His younger sister, Zira, was a jewel in the eyes of Lolth, displaying the rare gift of sorcery that promised to bring favor to their house.

Despite being relegated to the shadows of the matriarchal society, Sabal harbored dreams of rising above his predetermined station. His cunning and intelligence set him apart, but the rigid traditions of Menzoberranzan stifled his aspirations.

Ilvaria... Sabal felt his mind touch upon her. His grand and noble sister. Well, noble as in nobility, not so much in the spirit of the word. She had always seen her brother as useful, though, and that had been to his benefit. He had received martial training as well as pleasure-house training, dual wielding the life of a courtesan and a warrior with the grace of a tightrope walker. She had given him many missions into the tunnels, away from the city, and for that he likely owed her his life. Without that experience under his belt, the wild, twisting, deadly network of the Underdark tunnel systems would surely have been his death.

The memory's hues darkened as whispers reached Sabal's ears – the serpentine hiss of betrayal. He was pulled back to House Zavrinn, teetering on the edge of oblivion, facing the malevolent schemes of rivals. Loyalties crumbled like ancient caverns, and Sabal, with the keen instincts that marked him different from the pleasure-servants that most males were forced to become, felt the tremors of impending doom.

A clandestine ally emerged from the shadows, sought out in a moment of pure panic. A rogue untethered by house loyalties. Bargains were struck in the dimly lit corners, and Sabal, the pawn, became a player. The price for salvation was steep – the illusion of death.

In the memory, Sabal felt a very real and very painful, disfiguring slash across his handsome face. Part of the price. They had to see him taken down. The blood had to be real, for an illusion would fade. That part couldnt be faked. Then, the tickling touch of an illusionist's magic covering him as servants and family fell to poisoned blades around him. A life saving illusion of death draped over him like a shroud and he was discarded into the trash pit beneath the family's home, a deep hole leading down into the depths of the Underdark. His body, seemingly lifeless, came to rest near a concealed cache of survival.

In the blackness of the abyss, Sabal had awoken, disoriented and permanently scarred, but undeniably alive. He retraced the path in his memory, navigating the treacherous tunnelsof the Underdark for nearly a month until the cool night air of the surface kissed his face.

As Sabal watched this memory unfold in the sacred space of his elven meditation, the scars on his face tingled with phantom pain. The moon above him witnessed the duality of his existence – the memory of a past ensnared in darkness, and the present, where he sought solace beneath the silver light.

With the memory's conclusion, Sabal opened his eyes, his elven meditation complete. Sabal, the second son of House Zavrinn no more. Now, nearly fifteen years later, embarking on an unexpected journey where the shadows of Menzoberranzan were but a distant echo. Who would have thought that something MORE treacherous than his childhood home could exist in the overworld? then again, Illithid invasions werent particularly common. He just had a knack for finding trouble, it would seem. 

The fire had burned down to nearly nothing, but the sun was still many hours from rising in the sky. Checking the bedrolls around him, he found the two faces he expected to see... and yet the third was still missing. Sabal stood, walking the perimeter of camp. He could see the tracks of Astarion's feet in the damp, dew-wet grass. Pacing. Wadering. Restless. But for this moment, at least, the pale elf was nowhere to be found. 

He took his time finding the largest space of clear ground that he could, unobstructed by boulders or saplings, bushes or rabbit holes. It took some work to briefly clear a few small rocks, and soon, he was content. Time to start the day. His well-worn, simple shirt hit the ground with narry a sound, and his soft leather shoes soon followed. Bathed in moonlight and dressed only in his pants, the drow cracked his joints along his neck, hands, hips. There, ready. Slipping into a familiar routine, Sabal's breath synchronized with the ebb and flow of his movements, grounding him in the present moment. His muscles rippled beneath the moonlit skin as he transitioned into a series of advanced poses, finding balance and clearing his mind of the cobwebs of his past. 

The moon bore witness to the drow-turned-monk, a creature of the Underdark adapting to the overworld's vastness. His movements were fluid, a dance of strength and grace that spoke of years spent mastering both the physical and mental aspects of his being. Each stretch, each controlled breath, was a testament to his resilience, learned patience, learned calm. None of these qualities had come naturally to him, but had been hard won instead over many years of determination and practice.

Sabal reached the conclusion of his exercises. His breathing came out with mild labour, heart pumping blood to each muscle with increased speed from his exertions. It was only then that he sensed a presence, a subtle shift in the air that raised the hairs on the back of his neck. Turning slowly, he faced the shadows where Astarion lingered half-hidden by the trunk of a tree.

The pale elf stepped into the moonlight, his features sharp and ethereal. His eyes met Sabal's gaze with a mixture of curiosity and interest. Astarion's expression, previously severely guarded, betrayed a hint of something a little more enigmatic.

"Quite the show you put on just now. Planning on saving any energy for the rest of the day?" 

Though it was quippy and almost a barb, his drawling tone held no malice. Sabal heard interest, curiosity, and a little bit of 'Im impressed'. Despite his desire to remain cool and composed, the monk felt himself preening a little.

That was odd. He did not tend to preen. But then again, it had been well over a year since he last had a travelling companion. He was lonely, and despite the nature of their circumstances, he found himself struggling to be upset at suddenly having a team of people around himself. It was... nice, to feel those sharp eyes mapping him like a piece of meat. He liked it. 

"Such movements provide energy. They help me focus my Ki, balance my mind. I am sharper, faster, and more capable for keeping them up. You have not yet rested?"

The so-called magistrate stepped soundlessly forward, moving with a very not-a-magistrate grace that clearly belied a more subtle, stealthy trade. Sabal was left to wonder, not for the first time, how he thought he was fooling anyone with his words about having lived a simple life. Surely today, when they inevitably ended up in battle, he would drop the act.

"I did, some. Enough."

"Then let us begin our day. I have a feeling it will be a long one."

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 fanfic idea #bg3 fanfiction #astarion #astarion romance #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate tav #astarion x tav #bg3 tav #monk oc #Sabal

[bluenpjm]

HORUS ACADEMY CH.5 !

— to the writers @singguks @socksjini @bluenpjm, our comments and theories (MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK)

from @magicshopew: the ending was a HUGE cliff for me !! and this time around i have no clue to who elena is going to point out to be you !! i agree that tzuyu was very extra shady in that library scene .. but i doubt that if, BIG IF, you is indeed her, she would do it all by herself . 

onto the fights because omg i lost my sh*t over the ones we got this chapter - someone protects our baby JK !! he wasnt ready for that throw down kajhjkjshd elena was feral and kaya girl o-o i didnt know you had it in you !! freya and namjoon were juggling like clowns jhdsj it was too funny omg 

jin bestie .. i love you . what to even say !! i was living my best life every time he made an intervention jskhdak 

pairings - sh*t will hit the fan if freya doesnt tell her secret to our homeboy JK let me just say !! their scenes were precious and i was in rage when mingyu showed instead .. kaya girl again .. OMG !! the library scene once again got me »»» and we all know what ship is sailing when it comes to tae ajhdsgkagd 

* additional * was it only me or anyone missed archie as well ? i was waiting for drama boy-ihhh kjashdkjahds 

from @dropsofjoonpiter: ok i actually suck when trying to guess who the culprit is. but i do feel in my gut it's not tzuyu the real you... LISTEN! i know, she's sus, but i feel she is an informant? for the real you. and my best guess is the real you is from that little group that got jungkook tied to the tree! 

i won't even say much about this chapter be the bomb because cmon. it was so well written! the fights seemed real. i could actually picture the whole thing as if i was a student in horus kkkkkk 

my fave this chapter got to be either jimin whining all the time and uhm??? breaking a lamp!!! OR yoongi was pretty badass and funny kkkk not him telling on tae kkkkkkk 

the romance was over the roof period. i don't even have a fave, they all served different things for me and i'm here for it 🤍

from @rcseluv: I AM SHOCKED. that's my take on this chapter. 

like Kook points out I don't even want to know who You is. I just want to know when are they all dating!!!!! 

if I was studying there, I'd be checking my socials every second and I would thrive liking Elena's responses ahahah if I was in their shoes I don't think I would have the courage though! just imagine the whole school knowing stuff about you? yikes! 

and I really think Tzuyu could be You. she is roommates with Freya right? it's really possible. and the way she looked at Namjoon with Kaya!!! that was creepy af. 

Jimin and the teacher got me on nerves as soon as I started reading. I don't like Miss Bellum no matter how much he comes to her rescue... Mingyu was cute but eh... I'd rather ship Freya with Yoongi if Kook isn't her endgame. 

MAZE SCENE got me cryingggg! they are precious together. I'm happy I was right about Kaya's ship ahaha the tea reference... Ugh! perfect together. 

and can we talk about how everyone was running from Tae this chapter? ahahaahah I died. Elena was the only one hanging with him!!! even Freya was like omg my twin is too much ahahahahahaha 

from @investigativelewis: You're hearing from me first but now that I think about it Tzuyu is not YOU. 

What if Miss Bellum is the one?! I bet on her or Bambam. Because picture this: Miss Bellum was with Jimin the whole time apparently (ew.) and we all know Jimin is a lose mouth (well I'm assuming) so I don't know... Maybe I just don't trust the woman. But for Bambam it actually makes sense. He did do that thing with Jk and then when the fight started between Jimin and Archie he was the one inciting the whole thing... And Tzuyu is from his gang, that was written so. 

Apart from that, the writting was ten out of ten. The fights were amazing!!! And I really wish we could get a tv series out of this because I pictured the whole school and it seems DREAMYYYYY! I can't stop myself from imagining cute dates between them... And the girls running away from Horus? Omg. They for sure know all the cool spots there, as confirmed by our queen Kaya. 

I just loved this chapter too much! Made me want to go back to school myself ahaha didn't you feel that? That scene where they are all dozing off and then someone picks up their phone is just a throw back to my days in school. It was really nice! 

from @narimiese: I am so~ lost after this one. Omo. I really thought you would be Archie,, but after this chapter Im not so sure anymore~

But thats not the important part 🤣🤣 What matters is when all the ships will be sailing~ One is! But the other two are rocky,,,, I really liked seeing Kaya and Joon~ They were too cute with each other! I fear for Hobis reaction but he will have to take it as it is I dont care~ 🤣

The tea scene was really really cute. I loved it~ And Freya omo... I was so sad for her after classes,, She seems to connect so well with Jeongguk and he doesnt move! Its frustrating~ 🤣

Elena was not having it,, And I really liked her part with Yoongi~! 

Do you think Archie will let that thing at the games just be..? I was waiting him going after the Wolves 🤔

ADD YOUR THOUGHTS HERE IN THE COMMENTS ( IF YOU WANT TO ) 

↓ ↓ ↓

#submission

[bridgyrose]

Emerald bonds with Ren and ESPECIALLY Nora over the commonalities of their youth.

(Enjoy the pain!)

Emerald sighed as she looked at the memory wall, her heart sinking as she looked at the pictures of Team RWBY, Penny, and Jaune. It had only been a week since they had died and yet, she still couldnt help but blame herself. Spending time vying for Cinder’s affections instead of trying to help stop Beacon from being attacked, continuing to follow Cinder after the mistake that was Haven, waiting to leave until she felt like she hadnt had a choice… all of it could’ve been avoided if she had just seen where this was leading sooner. Beacon would still be standing, Atlas wouldnt have fallen, Penny would be alive, Ruby and her friends wouldnt have had to sacrifice themselves to save those they could. 

“You’re going to get dehydrated if you stay out here like this.” 

Emerald sighed and moved into the dwindling shadow of a nearby building, catching Nora out of the corner of her eye. “Maybe… maybe that’s the plan.” 

Nora shook her head and walked over to her. “That’s a terrible plan.” 

“And I’m a terrible person. I’ve… wronged each of them.” Emerald looked over the pictures once more, her voice cracking as she spoke. “I helped kill Penny, tried to kill Ruby, put Weiss in a position to get speared, used Yang, assisted in bringing Adam to Blake… and Jaune… I dont know what I did to him but I know I did something. I could’ve stopped before it got this far, could’ve left Cinder instead of going after her. I thought she cared about me… loved me the same way I loved her. Instead… she snapped at me.” 

“Yeah, but… you’re still here.” Nora held her arm close to her chest, a finger tracing once of the scars that ran up her arm. “Ren and I were orphaned too. My mom abandoned me when grimm attacked and I was left to survive on my own for a long time. Ren had a family, but then a nuckelavee attacked his village and killed everyone. He and I managed to survive and… we’ve stuck together since. Jaune, Pyrrha, Team RWBY, Penny… they became family to us once we came to Beacon. So, I think I get why you couldnt leave her. Its hard to leave that feeling of belonging somewhere.” 

Emerald went quiet and wiped a tear from her cheek. Hearing from Nora that her life was just as hard, maybe harder since her semblance didnt help her get what she wanted, and seeing the way she turned out, the fact that she found a way to help others instead of wanting to watch the world burn for being abandoned… all because she found someone that supported her instead of wanting to use her. 

“I cant say any of it was easy though,” Nora continued, her eyes moving to the ground to hide how she felt. “Even with Ren by my side, there were still plenty of nights with not enough to eat, cold nights made us fight to stay warm, grimm werent easy to avoid and followed us around. We got lucky.” 

“I… I didnt know.” 

“I didnt expect you to.” Nora smiled a bit and looked at the pictures on the wall once more, her arm shaking. “Sometimes all you need is someone who cares about you to be by your side, to help protect you and keep you moving in the right direction.” 

“And that was Ren for you, wasnt it?” 

Emerald nodded and sat down for a moment to look at the pictures on the wall. “Do… do you think they would’ve helped me too? If they were here now.” 

Nora nodded. “That’s who they were, people who help. Its what they try to be as huntresses.” 

“May… may I stay with you and Ren for a while?” Emerald finally asked. 

“Stay with us? What do you mean by that?” 

“I mean to stay with you… live with you… learn from you. You and I have gone through a bit of the same shit and I… I want to learn how to deal with it better like you did.” 

“I dont see a problem with that.” 

#rwby #nora valkyrie #emerald sustrai #drabbles #hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort drabbles

[baby-yaga]

yesterday, post burial, on our way back to the church to grab a plant, my mom told me, "love him for who he was, dont hate him for who he wasnt. thats the best way to go through life without baggage." and i get where she was coming from, but i dont think thats right.

sometimes people say that the opposite of love isnt hate, its indifference. i did love my dad. i also hated him. they never cancelled each other out. i can love him for his warmth, his humor, his intelligence, his gregariousness, and still hate him for his absence, the abuse, the neglect, how he gave so much of himself to everyone else but his 3 children.

im haunted by my mom telling me that my dad once told her, "if i knew then what i know now, we never wouldve gotten divorced." i cant even picture what that wouldve been like. there was a brief period after my dad left his late wife, where he was living with us again. my parents werent together, it was basically a roommates situation, and in all honesty it was the best part of my teen years.

we had all been through a lot. his late wife was abusive to pretty much everyone in her life, except when she was passed out on oxy. i was deeply resentful of my dad remaining married to her despite how horribly she treated my brother and i, and also him. when she passed away, we were all having dinner with my sister, and when my dad told trey and i what happened, i think it was really shocking to him that we looked at each other, and replied, "good."

but when he lived with us again, it was weird, but it wasnt bad. i liked having him around all the time. i liked getting to spend time with him for real. he picked me up from school, we ate dinner together, watched movies, i started going to the gym with him. we were living together when i went on my first date ever. we were living together when i came out to him. we were living together when i tried to kill myself.

but it didnt last forever. he moved in with a new girlfriend eventually. he kept it a secret, so when he moved in without telling me before hand, i was so mad. i wouldnt go over to their place, a duplex that was less than 5 minutes from our house. i wouldnt meet his girlfriend. i think i was hurt beyond words that he was breaking up our family again, but i didnt realize that until just now.

he tried to force it one night, wanted to ground me if i didnt come. we got into a tug of war match over my laptop in the entry way. i was so frustrated, hurt, i felt so un-heard, i screamed, "i hate you! i never want to see you again!"

he looked surprised. then, he looked devastated. he put down my laptop gently on the entryway table, and left without a word.

he called that night, and explained himself. he said something like, "a friends son passed away recently. i just dont want to lose our relationship."

i said, "im sorry that happened, dad. but i wish you wouldnt try to make me feel bad just because you feel bad."

he replied, "so im just supposed to feel miserable by myself?"

i dont remember what i said exactly. it was something to the effect of, "fine! keep making everyone around you miserable, until you have no one around but yourself!" i slammed the phone down. this was in like, 2008 or so, so we still had a landline, lol.

we didnt speak for 2 weeks. he picked up my brother to come sleep at his place, didnt speak to me, and then would leave. i didnt know that what i wanted was for him to move back in for good. it wasnt reasonable, really. he wanted to date, i think he felt weird about it while living with my mother, and also he didnt have his own room, he was sleeping in a bunk bed with my brother. so i understand now why him moving out happened. but at the time i was so upset hed kept it a secret from me. i still think that was the wrong move. if hed been open about it, given me some time to adjust without springing it on me, it mightve gone a little smoother.

anyway, the night i spoke to him again. he was coming over to pick up trey again. i started crying and threw myself at him. i said i was sorry over and over. i missed him so much. i loved him so much. i just wanted him to be my dad again.

he just held me, and rocked me back and forth. he kissed the top of my head and said, "its ok, its ok." we stood like that for a long time, until i stopped crying. i met his new girlfriend that night. they showed me the room theyd prepared, a bed and everything, for my brother and i to share. it was the first time id ever had a place to stay at his house. before, i was sleeping on the couch, or, when my step-brother was in basic training, i got to sleep on his futon. it meant so much to me.

i miss him. ive missed him my whole life, it seems. missing him isnt new. but this is different. it feels like theres an empty pit inside of me that i was positive was bottomless, but its somehow gotten deeper.

#dead dad saga

[spade-club]

Just spent time with my sister again, everything was super great, I was really glad to be getting out and away from everything for a bit. Came home to my partner and couldnt help but feel so much pain at all the situations they've put me in. I cant even be in the same room as them without reliving all of it. Every breakdown in response to me setting a boundary. Every instance of them cheating (on me and otherwise.) Every "just do it" that I've suffered through because they, I guess forgot I was disabled and my whine of dreading the simple-to-them task wasnt a good enough reminder. (Last one is maybe a little on me, I could be clearer, they are autistic) and I just. I dont want to keep going through this. I've lost my life to this. I cant front anymore bc home is a hostile environment & I can't go out anymore because they dont want me to go out without them. I struggle making my own friends because they insist on being around & people tend not to like them. I feel so insane for letting us keep this life but the other option is we break up and still live together & thats even worse!!! I got myself into a reeeealll situation. And if you ask any other me about this (except Cloud, my homie) they'd absolutely say that they're happy here. I just hate that they arent allowed to see this whole picture so they want to stick around here. I mean, I'm glad I can be happy in a bad situation. I'm glad there are good parts getting me through. I'm glad I dont always have to be around to take all of the bad shit. But because I am going through it and I want to stop suffering, I have to stop everyone else's fun to help myself. I become the bad guy.

#-cass #I got home & they were sleeping so I just took the blanket (mine. for the record.) and I'm in the guest bed (also mine.) #I feel like a dick but this was the only clean blanket since someone (them) spilled bong water on the other ones ^.^ #so like. their actions their consequences as far as I'm concerned rn #and yet all I want right now is to be held. and I could have that. it just comes with memories and feelings that are too hard to handle rn #I hate it here. #gonna try to fall asleep before body in hopes cece picks up #she can handle this. easy. she's not even allowed to hold bad memories!

[harkingspot]

jrand: holy matrimony

since i have the unfortunate inability to write a full-on PROPER fanfic. please have this strangely formatted fic thing??? *hands this to you* WEDDING DAY JRAND!!!

(super angst and sad, i mean when is it NEVER)

it was a beautiful day. a beautiful ceremony for two beautiful people. everyone was happy... well not everybody

jr scheimpough was going through a crazy rollercoaster of emotions- he was supposed to be happy, HIS BEST FRIEND WAS GETTING MARRIED!!!

but god why did it hurt so bad??

as everyone started to show up, all he could do was sit down and gaze at his own reflection from the wine he’d been carelessly swishing around

‘this shouldve been my ceremony. this was supposed to be us’ he thought dangerously. this was not the time, his brain scrambled to dig the thoughts deeper down

“have you seen rand anywhere?” snapping back from minutes of zoning out, the question grazed his ear. he was so engulfed in his own sadness he didnt bother to see who’d asked him

all he could think about now was: rand ridley

his best friend, the biggest asshole he’d ever met. it was hard to like him but it was even harder for jr to hate him

charismatic and smart. knew how to slither his way out of problems with his genius. he was someone he’d looked up to for a long time, though he could never admit it

he could never admit anything beyond his “joking-yet-not-joking” hatred towards his friend and partner

‘partner... oh how beautiful it’d be if the word business didn’t accompany it’ jr thought dangerously again.

this wasnt a time to be sad. his best friend was missing at his own wedding and he had to find him. though, in his defence, he’d been trying for years. to find rand ridley

“right yeah, ill go find him” without tearing his gaze away, jr stood up and began walking. mindlessly. he already knew where rand was

he was hiding. no. avoiding the altar

when jr found him, rand was shaking. pacing around. grunting. he’d never been this worried before. not even with the immense load of mistakes he’d made at cognito

he didn’t want to do this. rand ridley didn’t want to get married.

in rand’s mind, it was never about the commitment (though it really is) it was about himself. he’d never liked himself, which to be fair, there’s not many things about him TO like in the first place

“rand, what the hell are you doing?” “i can’t do this jay. im going to fuck this whole thing up. i always do- WHAT IF WE HAD CHILDREN??? I COULD NEVER-”

jr held his hand. tightly. an act of desperation, fearing to let his best friend go- hidden by an intimate gesture

“you can do this. sure you fuck things up a lot but you always find your way, that’s just who you are”

rand ridley didn’t want to get married. no that wasn’t right. rand ridley wanted it, but he wanted it with someone else. his best friend. scheimpough.

but it was too late...

a hug was all he could offer. neither could see it but both men longed for each other and it was written all over their face. 

in another time, this could’ve been their own ceremony. where they could invite nobody because nobody mattered. and all they had to do was drink, dance, sing loudly, and just... find comfort in one another.

but it was too late...

the ceremony was undoubtedly beautiful. pictures were taken. tears were shed, out of happiness and regret.

when the reception came, jr couldnt do it anymore. he reached his limits and it was time for him to go.

he delivered his speech, one full of fun anecdotes of their days in college and a few words about how he adored the man. that was the hardest part.

seeing rand be wedded to tamiko wasnt the hardest part for jr. the speech was, as he had to forcibly hold himself back from saying all the wrong things his mind could muster

he had to go and he had to go now. he didnt bother saying goodbye, not even to rand because it wasnt a goodbye- they were still partners remember? they still have time live side by side. just not together

on the drive home, he comforted himself: ‘and as long as the person you love is happy maybe you can be happy later’

the night was rough. jr made sure he didn’t drink too much at the party because he’d expected to drink much more at home. by himself, this time.

hours passed and he drank so much his liver had given up on begging for mercy

and it was that moment when he lied in bed starring at the ceiling, he turned to his phone that’d been blaring with notifications of multiple missed calls and messages from rand

“hey jay where are you?” “where did you go??” “did you go out for a smoke? im near the entrace can you see me?” “hello? jay pick up my call” “did you leave?” the thread of messages said

jr replied, out loud, to himself: “no, rand. you did. you left me” and blacked out

#GUYS... GUYS!!!! I CRIED WRITING THIS GOD #im so sorry i really had to #I COULDNT HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER #honestly writing 'fics' in this format is so much fun #if you guys enjoyed stuff like this i would LOVE to write more #also bc i have so many ideas i need to verbalize #i loved this sm #my baby #my magnum opus #i would write another one in rands perspective BUT im saur tired #maybe another time!! #oh jr you ARE the other woman #teehee kicks my feet in the air as i put u all through the most painful thing ever #angsty jrand is the best jrand #ill write something nice I PROMISE i promise... #looks around #IF ANYONE CAUGHT /THE/ REFERENCE U GET A GOLD STAR #but also therapy bc if u caught that then im so sorry #inside job #jr scheimpough #rand ridley #jrand #hark goes insane #hark writes

[steverodgerslater]

Came inside my girlfriends best friend

Recently my gf (22f) and I (30m) have discovered a shared kink for threesomes, group sex, and her being a cuckquean. We're very open with our friends about our sexual escapades, but her best friend (21f) has always been espcially keen to bring the topic up and talk dirty with us.

One night we were all hanging out drinking, playing games, and flirting like crazy (nothing new for us). The topic of sex came up again and we were more than happy to share our most recent story of us going to a sex party and fucking another girl there. Her friend was extremely interested, and visibly turned on, and she kept prying for more and more information. After some talking I found out that she's had experience with couples before, and that she's even had sex with guys who are married.

As we continued sharing stories and drinking more, my gf got more and more drunk. She went to the bathroom at some point and didn’t come back for some time, so I went to check on her. She was passed out in bed, so I made sure she was all good, and then returned to her friend to tell her the bad news. We were both devastated because we had high hopes for where the night was taking us. We were drunk as well, but decided to stay up and have 1 more drink to keep chatting before calling it quits and heading to bed.

She was a lot more open now that my gf wasnt around, and blatantly asked if she could join us one night because she thinks we're both hot, and the idea of fucking me with my gf around made her horny. I couldn't believe my luck (she's also super hot) so I told her I would speak to my gf about it and go from there. I knew she would be keen for us to all have sex, especially considering how keen she was to watch me fuck someone else. We finished up our drinks and I went to bed with her friend sleeping on the couch, except we couldn't go to sleep.

We kept messaging and talking about it, getting each other more and more worked up, which eventually lead to us sexting. She was in the living room and I was in my bedroom with my gf passed out beside me. Her friend was sending me pictures of her fingering herself on the couch, and she was begging for me to come out on the couch and have sex with her. I was jerking off as well, and I was so fucking horny, ans eventually I just couldnt resist any more. I told her I was coming back out and for her to be ready.

I slowly crept out of bed and into the dark living room, to find her bent over waiting for me. I didnt waste any time and fucked her hard and fast. We had to stay quiet so my gf didnt hear, but I could hear her soft moans while we fucked. We were both so horny, so we weren't messing around. After a few minutes, I grabbed her by the throat to pull her up to me and I whispered in her ear that I was going to cum. She said she wasnt on the pill, but wanted to me to cum inside her anyway. I fucked her even faster and finished inside without another word from either of us. I pulled out and we made out for a bit, and then I crept back to bed. We kept messaging and she sent me more pictures and videos of her fingering herself with my cum pouring out of her pussy, and I jerked off to them while I was next to my gf.

All 3 of us have had sex together since this tine, but my gf still doesn't know the first time I fucked her best friend was without her being there. We still flirt like crazy, and whenever my gf isnt around, we take advantage of the opportunity.

Came inside my girlfriends best friend : SluttyConfessions (reddit.com)

#friendcheat #dangerouslyclose #confessions

[whonsper]

tell me about the slimariana zombie au??? :O

YOUR FIRST MISTAKE thank you anon i love you

okay so picture this. qsmp. quesadilla island. the sun goes down one day and doesnt rise the next morning.

its a slimecicle centric apocalypse fic, following him from day one when he gets on the island. when the sun goes down and he wakes up to the night sky still. opening the door to check around and hearing the ungodly sound of a horrid creature with sagging skin and too-stiff movements, stumbling ever closer to him. his first time having to kill one of these creatures, bashing its head in with the closest thing he could grab, which ended up being a wooden shovel. the loneliness he felt as he sat in his hole-in-the-wall house, too afraid to even open his front door.

the islanders try going to the federation, surely this wasnt meant to happen, what happened to their luxury island getaway? the federation either cant or wont listen to them, its as if they cant see it at all.

the egg event starts, much to the shock of everyone. why bring children into such a dangerous environment? why would they bring more stress and danger to the islanders lives rather than solving the existing issues? but they try to make the most of it, slime and mariana pair up with their kiddo and take care of juanflippo as best they can ("welcome to my house!" "...wheres the rest of it" "....this is it. but i promise, we don't need a huge space, and flippo is happy here, right?")

the story follows through the everyday struggle to survive, what with their steady depletion of supplies, the daily fights between slime and mariana, and the added stress of trying to take care of flippa. the danger shes in at all times, her excited screams echoing through the trees, the blood trickling from a scraped knee, all calls to the zombies to their exact location. but theyd rather see her happy and deal with the consequences than lock her inside, wasting away and miserable

theres four endings as well! im super excited about them, and i think everyone else will love them too (or hunt me for sport, but you know, thats a form of love imo)

i dont know how to talk about this in a coherent way, but have some tidbits and fun facts!

slimecicle is missing a hand after he chopped it off trying to get wood one day. it regrew as a nerveless slime hand, with which he can vaguely hold things but cant feel anything. he just has to trust that flippas hand is somewhere in his...

flippa and slimecicle learn sign language together, both english and spanish, to communicate faster (especially helpful when theres zombied nearby)

theres a whole messy relationship arc that does end with mariana and slimes wedding

#pspsps #slimeriana zombie au #qslimeriana #qsmp #i dont wanna make this too long or overload it with too much boring stuff #i have so much more i could say but thats getting way too in depth into like. specific events and id be here all day #thank you so much anon i love you sorry it took a sec im at work #if anyone wants any more please feel free to ask or anything i love talking about this silly little au its everything to me #oh did i mention its called broken eggs

[lightadarttomendyourheart]

i dont remember the last time i wanted something so badly. you consume me. maybe thats why im so on edge recently. i'm just not at peace, i want you so bad. 119 days left. and it feels like forever. but its less than 4 months now. 2 more weeks until i have a distraction and more-so, constant distractions. my own place.

i think being in edmonton is making it worse lol. i have nothing to do but think of you. i need my own space where i have things to do and people to see and honestly, where i have a life.

i cant wait to start decorating my apartment and making it truly mine. putting so many pictures and stuff on the walls and making it a home. ive never had this chance before. even in poland, i didnt put anything up on the walls. the only time i really truly felt like i had my own cave like in edmonton was when i lived with andrew downtown. i made that room my sanctuary and i absolutely loved it.

but now, FINALLY, im going to truly have my own longterm place. it'll be all mine. i can do whatever i want with it. im so fricken excited. i can take sarah and indy shopping with me and we can pick out stuff and have fun and go for brunch and hang out in the evenings talking and watching movies and mixing. this is honestly such a huge step in my life, i haven't have my own place with no expiration date ever. in poland i knew it wasnt forever and it was fully furnished. same with london, i just had rooms. and then vancouver, same thing. even when jake and i moved in together, it didn't feel right. i never felt like that place was decorated how i wanted it to be cause i really didnt decorate other than my office. the whole place felt.. empty. this place won't. i'm going to put so much effort into it. and then when you come in july, it'll be magic.

im scared. im honestly terrified im going to fall so hard for you. so in love with you. you're going to break me. i will be in shambles when we part. i know it. unless spending so much time together really turns me off from you. but honestly, i can't see it happening. i really cant. and i think part of me lowkey hopes you do turn me off because then i won't be so hurt. but knowing you the past few years and every time we see each other are these special, unforgettable memories that i cherish so much afterwards. its obvious you're going to hurt me. and i wont want anyone else.

i just truly hope you end up feeling the same way. if not, it is what it is, i cant force anything. but if july goes well, i want this to be the beginning of the rest of our lives.

#personal #brandon